I am so fucking terrified

I am having trouble marshalling my thoughts and I’m having a hard time telling my physical from my emotional sensations.

I don’t want to leave the house, but we’re going to go shopping.

I don’t want to make someone else sick. The winnowing fan hasn’t come close yet and I don’t want it to. I want to walk a golden path through this because I deserve it. I want to catch it to burn off my sins. I want to catch it to spare ones that I love, as if the virus knows that kind of math.

The math of dreams and denial; the math of a sick thought burning a furrow through my nerves.

I need sugar, and flour, and toilet paper, and I don’t know what we’re going to find at the store.

 

8:23 am – we shopped during the old people’s hour, and it was okay, but there is no sugar, no flour and no toilet paper.

from the Nib today…. this

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Allegra

Born when atmospheric carbon was 316 PPM. Settled on MST country since 1997. Parent, grandparent.

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