Category: Exceeding strange

Yech I really did not need to see that pic

Okay, thanks to the Internet, I now understand the references to the Goatse man.  If you don’t already understand the reference, don’t bother looking it up, and this means YOU, mOm, and if you do get it, you can have a good laugh on me.

ScaryClown emailed me a link to an author about quality.  I burst out laughing when I read the email and replied (enjoying my advanced age for the first time in MONTHS) “Hey, I read that book in 1988.”  Yes, I am referring to the venerable Quality is Free by Philip Crosby, which I read, as I recollect, when I was working at either the law firm or at CDS.  Anyway, it was when God was young and dinosaurs roamed the earth.  It had a very powerful effect on my thinking about how to run a company, and of course I keep finding it in company libraries and in people’s personal collections, and I always laugh when I see it.

It’s like church.  It’s the same message, over and over again.  It’s no surprise that Philip Crosby is a committed Christian, and that his message hums along like a sermon.

Oh, for the purposes of clarity, and to scotch the notion that I’m being sarcastic when I refer to a committed Christian…..  There are committed Christians, and there’s everybody else.  Committed Christians are people who have accepted the yoke of the Lord and make their lives their witness.  They try to love, and they try not to judge.  Everybody else has decided that Christ wears jackboots, and is going to come and kick the shit outta everybody they don’t personally like.  I have yet to meet a Christian who didn’t fall into one of those two categories.  The first kind of Christian I have no issues with.  I’m looking forward to taunting the other kind of Christian in the lake of fire.

As for there being contradictions in the Bible, which really gets my goatse, something bizarre occurred to me recently, and I thought I’d share it.  There are contradictions in my own DNA…. Ain’t nothing whole and perfect, except maybe an idea.

The ultimate challenge

Oh….. my….. Lord.

My brother has thrown down a gauntlet with a challenge of challenges.

He wants me to write a song to replace “The Happy Birthday Song” which is protected by … gulp …. copyright.

Okay, for everybody on this blog who has actually HEARD the Tapioca Song.

Happy Birthday!  Happy Birth…. day!

(Name of person) it’s time for us to celebrate

Happy Birthday!  Happy Birth…day!

Now it is time for you to cut the cake.

That’s the kid version.  But you can also substitute masturbate, find a date (or mate), meet your fate, inebriate, intoxicate, medicate, fly this crate (when it means they can go solo), accelerate (either, as in leave, or drive), hurry up and wait, and I don’t have my rhymin’ dictionary handy but you get the idear.

Mixed fog and sun

We’re certainly getting a lot of February fog. Right now it’s burning off and you can see the blue sky peeping through to the west.

The bruise on my leg from where the muscle snapped is now a tiny little blue smudge. It’s still tender but I am not having any trouble walking.

I have finished the first draft of all of my coworker Valentines! There are 115 of them, including such heartfelt declarations as:

Love is like an hourglass, with the penis filling up as the brain empties. Happy Valentine’s Day to a ‘special’ coworker.

and

O Canada, where a culturally Christian atheist can send a culturally Muslim atheist a card which is in part the celebration of the martyrdom of some whacked out Christian saint. Happy Valentine’s Day anyway to a miraculous coworker.
and

There’s hearts and flowers, gifts and sweets to show my fond regard.

But I’m too cheapass for that stuff, so here’s your V-Day card.

and

Beer is cold, cocoa’s hot,

I’m sending you this

cause I like you a lot.

Happy Valentine’s Day

20,600 words and counting

Last night was the most fun I’ve had in so long that it’s just bizarre. Somebody I thought had no use for me treated me like a cool older sister all night in a myriad of subtle and unsubtle ways; somebody I know basically by reputation as a good person talked to me with the kind of amusing intelligence that makes my month, let alone my day, and I really liked everything I saw last night. Oh, and I talked to an award winning actress, who was older than me so I DIDN’T have to feel like I was the oldest person there. And that crowd wasn’t ageist ANYWAY; it was just crap I was carrying around with me until I’d been there for about 15 minutes. Continue reading 20,600 words and counting