I got to see Alex on Mother’s Day. God, he’s so precious. He insisted on pinball. We made him wait for 5 minutes (good for toddler souls to learn how to wait) and then he was off downstairs. He played both the STTOS and the Xenon game. We asked him if the creature on the Xenon game is a robot, an alien or a cyborg and he insisted it was a cyborg. Hearing my grandson say sf words while playing pinball HEART GO SPLODEY.
So yesterday I pulled my tarot ‘day card’ at midnight, as one does when one works the graveyard shift, and it was ‘The World’. And so I immediately thought this:
Mark 8:36 King James Version (KJV)
36 For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?
And then I thought, what is my soul?
And the answer came, “My family.”
And I realized I hadn’t seen Alex in a month (or it seems so) and burst into tears.
I came home and watched the Expanse with Jeff, and then burst into tears again and said I have to see him.
So I did.
I came in the door and he ran up to it, grinning and nodding, starkers, because he was about to get in the bath with mom.
I was overcome by tiredness and Katie said lie down on the big bed and sleep, and then she brought Alex, made sleepy by his bath, to lie next to me.
And we took a nap together for 2.5 hours, and at one point I whispered to him that he would be warmer if he cuddled with me, and he said “Yuh” and launched himself at me, but I turned my head and so he didn’t break my nose. He woke up snuffling and crying a couple of times and because Zizi was there he could settle down again.
I don’t ever want it to go that long again without seeing him. I was in physical pain, like glass was breaking in my chest.
Thanks Katie and Alex, you refilled my ‘heart bucket’.
I just took toilet paper to Psych Emerg because the two count’em two HK staff didn’t think an hour old stat page was worth their attention. I fully expect to get into trouble about this, and if I do, I’m going to go back to psych emerg and tell them I got shit for it, and then I’ma buy popcorn.
For I know, since I clear their cache for them, that both the full time staffers on days and afternoons are looking hard like hard hard for better work. Disciplinary measures never looked so good in prospect. Like I said. Popcorn.
Editing progresses. I think, after all this Supernatural fanfic (I’ve written 50K words since the middle of January…. insane, right??) it’s time I quit trying to pull someone else’s canoe to shore.
Some kind soul left a box of jalebi in the cafeteria and in a shameful show of carnal weakness I absconded with one. But only one. Hand to god, only one.
I scraped dried coffee blerg, elderly scotch tape and who the hell knows what off many surfaces tonight. Nobody will notice but me, and that makes me happy.
Hello, new bingo card, based on my writing….
Yesterday the whole fam damily, less Jeff, went to Edmonds pool and frolicked. I only had two hours sleep at the time so I stayed in the hot tub – every time I got out I was chilled TO THE BONE. Alex is a complete joy. Paul was still thinking about his happy family time at 10 pm and texted me to give him a lift. I AM SO LUCKY AMONG MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY I feel set among stars.
About ten years ago I loaned three pieces of children’s furniture to friends. Now that my grandson is two – and how in the everloving **** did that happen – I asked for it back. The 6 decade old Vilas Maple Kindergarten set has landed! Thank you Rob and Char for looking after it for us! This ten year experiment in non-attachment is now a qualified success. This will be the third generation of Granny Rivett’s descendants to use it.
I’m feeling super lucky this morning to be a grandma. Alex came over yesterday with Katie and now I’ve got my temporary fill of very serious gibberish and sloppy kisses. Rob and Char also returned a wooden xylophone and I don’t know what was more charming, Alex beating on it with a wooden spoon or trying to pronounce xylophone.
He once again insisted on standing on the cat food box and reaching up to the wall phone and calling Zizima, which is his word for his great-grandmother. (I am Zizi, so by toddler logic my mother is Zizima!) Meanwhile back in Victoria, mOm got back from their usual drive in the Camaro out to Dan’s Farm and Country Market to him saying HIYA ZIZIMA! into the answering machine. Her response when I called her. “Still melted in a puddle.”
She sounded happy rather than very inconvenienced by this turn of events, which sounds like what happens to George when he’s upset, so I’ll take that as a win.
Spent time with young Master Alex in Oakalla (Deer Lake) Park and his Mama and Pawpa (Paul) and while we were walking along the same stretch where we saw the coyote with Keith, he ran between the three of us giving us our titles. He’d run up behind us and tap us on the ass and say ZIZI or PAWPA or MUMMY like a little buzzing bee. He walked the whole 2.5 k himself, he ran up to joggers to give them greetings (causing one guy to dodge around and almost wipe out) but he gave bunches of grandmotherly types big smiles and ran up to them with his arms out.
Dogs he’s not so sure about, but with assistance he can interact appropriately.
He fell madly in love with a puddle and some heart shaped leaves.
He’s such a dear little person. I feel amply rewarded for my patience during his earlier difficulties bonding with anyone but his mom. Paul and I are having a panic with him.
I wish Katie was not experiencing personal difficulties right now, but they aren’t impacting Alex at all that I can see and everything will be fine in the outcome.
We had a brief and inconclusive conversation about trucks and tambourines.
Jeff pointed out this article to me. Scary stuff.
At Mike’s. The sky is grey but little dabs of blue and white are starting to show through. (an hour later…. not so much really, sigh).
Goddamn Hurricane Matthew. I have a bad, bad feeling about it. If the track holds steady a lot of people are going to be dealing with seawater where it ought not to be.
It would be tragic if the hurricane hits the East coast at the same time as the (not very exactly) predicted West coast quake.
Just had somebody point my transmisogyny out to me. That damned Donald Trump. I know that doesn’t make much sense but the two things are connected. Also Barry Blitt. This cover is transphobic, but how I laughed when I saw it. Then two transwomen mentioned they’d laughed their asses off, and sometimes allies are quicker on the draw than the people they’re trying to protect, and I felt a little better, because if I was a transwoman I imagine my sense of humour would be even more vile than it is now, since there’s something about (ed. – Shut the **** up now, please.)
I am two days ahead on writing, so I’m probably going to make notes and take the weekend off from writing. VCON is this weekend, but J and Paul are going for parts of it so “yay” I’m not going. There’d be no point hiding out in the filk room even, even after Dara sent out a call for minions for her rousing song, “Sad Muppets.” And yet I’m really okay with all this and I’m just pretending to be put out, because I’m broke, and all I can think about is how much money I spent in the dealers room the last time I went. Conflikt is in January. I’ll go filk among my friends.
Finished season 1 of Supernatural. Sadly, you cannot make Vancouver and environs look like southern Georgia but by god that doesn’t stop the locations scouts from trying. Also, Jensen Ackles can whisper advice about how to deal with demons in my ear an.y.time. I like Jared Padalecki but he brings out my maternal instincts (sadly withered but still present).
Saw Alex and Katie the other day. He is a busy little bee, sweet and biddable and mischievous and noisy. And he has a VERY good memory. Katie recounted the story.
He and Katie had only ever walked to Julie’s house. She left town six months ago. As they were coming to my place the last time they visited me, Alex pointed at Julie’s old house and said, “Julie house.” So he dredged up a memory from before he could talk, after seeing the house from a completely different angle, and put the two together. Katie was flabbergasted. I suspect his memory is better than the rest of us put together.
So, I was in Victoria yesterday because Katie and I could not STAND that Alex was so amazingly verbal these days but mOm had not received a demonstration.
We had yummy food and Alex drove toy trucks over mOm’s feet and called her ZiziMa. He likes ZiziMa house. He used to like the Flying Pig but now it almost scares him.
I chased him all over deck 5 of the Spirit of British Columbia yesterday. My feet are still singing.
I have to take the car back this morning, but I’m going to run some errands first.
Jeff and I hosted Paul’s birthday last night. I got tired and went to bed at nine (folks came by at two, which is fine, because the Alex was one of them.) Also that might have something to do with the fact I was up at 2 am YESterday too.
Watching Paul with Alex. Alex pretends to feed him chili, Paul pretends to eat it, the two of them laugh like drains. This went on for about ten minutes. I got one decent pic, which mOm already has. He’s laughing so hard his face is almost blurry.
Alex refers to himself as Ack. This is charming. He is now speaking in perfectly intelligible sentences of two or three or four or even five words. Then the next thing he says is gibberish, right about the time you were thinking of boasting.
Nita, Keith, Alex, Katie, Peggy and Tom, Mike and Cassidy and Rob Warner all came by. Plus Cassidy gave preserves to Paul which he will enjoy mightily. Her southern rellies put magic in that woman’s kitchen….NOM.
Alex on his belly watching Jeff fix the deck with a screwdriver, and calling him Unca Jeff quite clearly. Playing with the hose and running all over the yard. Playing with the posture ball.
He was so busy he never even got to play on the pinballs!
Extra special hugs to cousin Lindsay for singing happy birthday to her uncle! That was very cheering.
Happy people eating chili. I made vegan chili and I’m glad, I tell you.
Much very good beer including Dageraad.
Heart full of gratitude, mind full of I HAZ NOT ENOUGH SLEEP.
Thus the pause today on the writing. Back tomorrow, have no fear.
Yesterday something happened I’ve been so longing for, I’m quite verklempt. Alex is not a huggy kid, but he nestled in the crook of my arm, squished against his mother, and fed himself from a bottle while kicking up a storm (his mamma got the worst of it, of course).
But I got to cuddle with him, smell his hair and feel his skin, and it was life affirming.
And he’s talking in sentences. It never happens overnight, it just feels like it. There were so many I didn’t even keep track of them. Katie says it started a week ago. Sometimes he still babbles, but he’s turning into a kid who hears and repeats what he hears, sometimes so precisely you crack up from sheer wonderment.
When I left him yesterday he was asleep in the stroller, and when he woke up he was fine for about half an hour, and then it was WAYAH ZIZI WAYAH ZIZI as he announced his displeasure that he didn’t get to hug and kiss me goodbye. Katie texted me and I called him to apologize. HIYAH ZIZI! That was good enough, he handed the phone back to his mamma.
Some of his complete sentences are about people who aren’t around. He talked about his Poppa (Paul).
We went through all the genealogical names. Mum and Daddy. Grammy and Zizi and Unca and Auntie. Cousin. Ellie! Zizima! (great grandmother, reviewing it with a picture of her as Katie does her best to give him a picture of who she’s talking about in front of her to keep him oriented.) He reviewed the photographs I took of him with amused interest.
He is Obvs. Feel. Much. Better. today and yesterday he brang me a freshly killed roof rat. Margot is still a little subdued but not really off her food. Might be the change in the weather, which has broken off into real rain, thank god, it’s been so dry.
Got Alex to talk to his Zizima (mother of Zizi) on the phone yesterday. I like listening to my mOm melt on the phone, it’s so charming. I got an email from her jam packed with medical news, some pending, some good some… well, it’s like you’re a car, but you’re never tuned up, you’re never getting the right octane fuel, and you’re covered in rust. But you still run. Sorta.
Carly, Nita, Mike, Jan, Katie, Alex, Paul and (late) Keith and me all joined up at the Bombay Bistro and ate our little faces off. GOD THEIR BINDI DO PIAZZA is so fricking awesome, and the lamb biryani likewise. We got seated too late for Jeff to feel comfortable joining us (it was pushing 8 pm…)
NITA AND MIKE LOVED LOVED LOVED THEIR WEDDING PRESENT. I am, as you can tell, inordinately pleased.
Now Jeff and I are off to a Downtown Shopping Adventure, and it sucks, except we’ll be happy when it’s done.
Katie put Alex on the phone this morning and he said that. So happy.
Plus I am writing again so there’s that.
I got to see Alex yesterday at his momma’s house (Katie is doing very well) and he smiled his face off to see me. Then I gave him my three pound barbell (after all, it SAYS Alex on the side) and he started lifting, bro, which was hilarious, (good form too, even funnier) and then he rolled it all over the floor and then he started dropping the sumbitch, more than once, and this look came over his face – every parent knows it – and after some kind and pleasant voiced persuasion (his mother doesn’t yell at him unless it’s life or death and Alex is more compliant than any child his age I’ve known, as he really really wants to keep his mother happy) Alex went back to rolling it across the floor. He has learned to say ‘antenna’ which is very sweet.
He has crossed some kind of developmental barrier which allows him to consider things rather than assuming that it’s bad and he should proceed immediately to a-wailin’ and a-grizzlin’. He didn’t even come close to even thinking about crying the entire time I was there. The last month has also been amazing in terms of language development. It’s very clear that he understands virtually everything that’s said to him and his speech is becoming clear enough to understand. I was out of the room and he was toddler-arguing with his mother so I called are you grumpy Alex? and he said, just like a teenager would, No!
No sign of being interested in toilet training. For this summer camping trips were invented.
He played for a very long time with my Cat Alone app. BUG! BUDAFY!
“DO YOU WANT THE FINGER ALEX” is actually a question appropriate to the game. (If he presses on the magic finger that appears it vibrates and buzzes.)
No pictures. I have memories of a sunny faced toddler running like a fool all over his apartment while issuing sticky kisses and high fives. This from last summer, Prismafied, will have to do.
There were castor bean and nightshade plants on the walk back to the car. New West, it’ll kill ya.
Ray Donovan was awesome, Dark Matter was okay I guess (fave continues to be 5, played by Jodelle Ferland), Killjoys is ramping up with great scripts and performances and then Keith and Paul came over yesterday to watch the Sugar episode of Addicted to Pleasure, and that was very nice.
Ghostbusters is still on at the International Village Cineplex. I should have gone last night but whatever.
I bought a battery backup for my phone (since you can’t actually replace the battery on a One S, god strake them in thayre tendre partes) and then, in a sudden blinding flash of You Know the MacBook is Doomed Since the Interior goes to 84 degrees C every time you run video and components will inevitably blow you fool! I purchased a replacement in the form of a MacBook Air, from London Thugs. I backed up the old one, Time machined the new one, everything took an hour and worked perfectly (except having to enter brOJeff’s ludicrously lengthy wifi password three times, o well) and now I have a computer with twice the power, half the weight, three times the storage and a much faster video processor. Everything I need to work transferred over without difficulty including Scrivener and Finale, the two really big ones for creative work. I’d like to publicly thank Jeff for providing the backup drive. All part of adulting….
No I can’t afford it. But I definitely can’t afford not to, so there you go.
He was in fantastic shape today. First, he *asked* to come see me, then he very sweetly greeted all his favourite parts of visits to Geekhaus, being the Star Trek TOS pinball and the Xenon pinball, the big blue ball, the kitty (Miss Margot, who suffered his very gentle pats with as good grace as she could), his special toys, and THE FAN. To say he is a fan of the fan is puttin’ it mild. Then he wanted to play with Cat Alone, and we went to the park and I pushed him on the swings. Then I called mOm because I wanted to share the wealth, and he bellowed a toddler “HIYA!!” into the phone, which hopefully will make mOm melt into a happy puddle when she picks up her messages. And he napped, the little dickens, so Katie and I could catch up.
Alex has made so much progress since the last time I saw him it’s quite remarkable. His mother recounts a story about him grizzling at her to try and get something out of her, since his ability to intuit when she needs 20 solid minutes to get supper happening is excellent. Finally she gave in and he teasingly signed thank you about fifty times; she’s willing take the teasing for him not having to be prompted first. Stuffing manners into kids is a tedious but ultimately rewarding task.
Alex played ON me. I am obviously not a threat to him any more, and he ran up and started using me as a roadway for a truck (gently, and with a little furrow in his brow.) He also flung himself on me once while I was indulging in floor play, flinging his amply pneumatic stomach onto my shins as I was lying down. He played nicely with the butterfly game on my phone.
And he called me GiGi, which is my name as grandma. More than once.
And then, proving that he is the biggest little clown in New Westminster, he brought me my shoes and umbrella, and I said to Katie, “He’s done with me! that’s my cue to leave,” so I did (it was nap time anyway.)