the repetition

I told mOm about it, but I’ll tell all of you because there’s aspects of grandmotherhood that are not perfect, but then grandmother activates her superpower: waiting.

When Alex was born I got to hold him. Then I didn’t get to go near him until he was talking, because he was an anxious baby and only his mother would do. But I waited. I didn’t argue with his mom (over a baby? wow, to make mom unhappy) or scold the baby for not liking me or take to social media about how his parents were keeping him from me, I waited.

And now we have the funniest and tenderest conversations lying in the dark when he comes over for a sleepover, and he only comes over when he wants to. To be liked by a child because you’re family and you love them and you’re just part of their world is a very steadying and grounding thing.

So when I watch Ryker, who’s being looked after three days a week by Suzanne (who says it’s exhausting, and I know that is true) as he SL O  O  W LY wakes up after his nap by repeatedly banging his forehead into the unpadded collarbones and shoulder bones of her chest, while occasionally sitting up to giggle, I am not filled with resentment at being usurped. I am filled with contentment that my grandson has all the care he needs, that he is safe, and that he sometimes giggles sleepily to himself for no other reason that he’s happy to be alive, and if it’s Suzanne prompting those giggles, I’ll share in them soon enough.

He’s starting to talk. He says ‘up’, and babbles a bit. Paul says he’s a screamer, but I got no evidence of that yesterday.

Paul was at his volunteer job at the thrift store, but Keith and Suzanne and I had a brief convo about ‘the situation’ and the garage sale, and I filled Dax in as he might have something he wanted to put in the sale. I ran an errand after – I finally have big envelopes for the big letters in large print I send to people, as well as chunks of manuscript for mOm – and I got another reel for the label-maker. Damn !! going in to Staples is hazardous, but apart from the big bag of Wine Gums I left with what I was erranding for.

I only did a small amount of decrufting yesterday, but I am working at it every day and I can see progress. I’ll see a LOT MORE progress once I get Grandad’s desk cleared off.

Wordle in 5 – it was a bear – and I’m supposed to get up and do a shop and I only just woke up LOL. Lumosity and other stuff later I guess.

Just shopped. Opened the Nut Hut delivery and they sent me $15 of organic walnuts FOR FREE. So I’m giving the whole bag to Suzanne when she comes tomorrow because they are the nicest walnuts EVAR.

Everyone have a fantastic day.

 

I have finished labelling the family stories

THERE ARE SO MANY! the same quantity in family calendars.

some of them have had pages very lightly et by silverfish so I have to get on the diatomaceous earth asap. No sense having family history that I can’t access cause it got et.

I thought before I went to sleep I’d do something in Finale: I tried to get ‘experiments in Glissando’ to post here but I couldn’t get it to work with the audio player. Sigh. It sounds like bandits approaching a temple.

 

 

Ordinary Monday

The UConn Huskies won it all at ‘Squeaky-Squeaky Time’ which is how we refer to March Madness.

Two best of scores in Lumosity, Wordle in 3 and it only took 20 seconds, and I think I wrote two words yesterday.

Since I was up at 1 after going to bed at the regular time, I napped quite extensively. Got a coffee in my belleh right now and I’m about to label some of the family history books mOm sent us and then take them to their new home downstairs since I poached the shelf they were in for my own room.

We ordered fish for supper. It was really good.

Ran the dishwasher, emptied and refilled it, also did me a load of laundry so I am ONCE AGAIN CAUGHT UP …. can you fathom it.

For Trotsky Tuesday, enjoy: A rebellion.

A reminder that I wouldn’t have my current crop of grandchildren if Paul’s Great grandmother hadn’t refused to get on the Titanic.

Today I’m off to Caspell Junction in the morning to make travel arrangements for Jim’s Celebration of Life and talk about the garage sale. I’ll either take Paul for a walk or we’ll run errands somewhere in there. Moar Later.

 

 

recycling

I read on reddit that a great way to deal with paper if you don’t want to shred it (Jeff has a shredder but I have A LOT OF PAPER TO SHRED) is to turn it into papier mâché and yup, that works – I experimented with 20 year old tax returns yesterday.

Happy Easter for those who celebrate! Reread (or read, lol) my King Jesus homily if you’re in the mood.

Continue reading recycling

busy day yesterday

I did my normal morning stuff and then communicated a bunch with Katie. I got a couple of rental applications queried and took what I’d printed out over to her to fill it out (I checked her work) and provided all the stamps and envelopes and put it in the mailbox for her. It was lovely to interact with her because she was un-surrounded by children and could complete a thought. It was sad to interact with her because she once again has to pack up her entire life and move on and can look forward to a lot of domestic strife in the meantime. Anyway I was helping her look for coops inside a three km radius, so that kept me busy part of the day.

Continue reading busy day yesterday

fix fix fix

Got three pieces of ‘finding a place to live’ mail into the post box today for Katie, picked up a few treats on the way home.

She’s at the house by herself; Alex is off to Suzanne’s and Ryker’s with his da. She was heavily engaged with the laundry when I arrived but took a break to fill out some paperwork for a coop.

Now that I’ve actually expended some effort on the problem for today, I have done my best for my family and that is enough for now, and I can eat my candy bar and watch TV knowing that I am not a complete lazy bumme.

worry worry worry

I am resolutely going to ignore the turmoil that’s happening in my family right now with housing and communication issues and continue to put mismatched socks into pairs and dejunk my room.

Heard from Mike. Multiple layoffs at work and the customer service department has been decimated. There’s no longer any engineering support for the products and he’s pretty sure he’s next on the chopping block. The only good thing about it is that he’s liable to get a goodly sized severance. The bad thing about it is that they may take months to actually drop the hammer so in the meantime he’s forced TO TAKE HIS OWN DESK INTO WORK two days a week and work between 10 and 12 hours every weekday and emails on weekends. There’s an extremely slim possibility that he will come see us on Sunday night but I’m not sanguine.

April Fools. Ha ha don’t care.

Someone who’s a Dunnett fan wrote some music for the end of one of the books so I friended him on facebook and sent him a link to Gelis and Niccolò; he’s also a novel cover designer and his portfolio looks superbulous.

Tried to watch the first episode of Gotham Knights and I bailed almost instantly. It’s a CW show and I didn’t even manage to wait until Misha Collins turns up as Harvey Dent; rich kid youngster angst that doesn’t involve anarchism and gender goofiness is not for me.

Wordle in 5, Lumosity one top five one best of, no writing.

I just have a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. But it’s okay. I’m safe, warm and well-fed and I can afford my rent and medications.

Garage sale?

I will try to help out as I can with the housing situation with the kids but good god. My mind is just whirling. And it could be me and Jeff in a minute, so it’s really making me into a VAST vat of STEW. (Keith whomped up some of his thyme flavoured stew yesterday. My only contribution was washing the spuds. I tried the Beyond Meat burger but texturally it just doesn’t do it, I prefer it in chili.)

But I can’t DO anything. Not at the moment. I must find other things to do than stew. I did talk to Paul about a garage sale and he seemed glad of the offer of help.

Oreo shoulder surfed on me yesterday THREE TIMES. Purring ferociously the entire time. She did it long enough that Paul took a picture but I haven’t received it yet because I had to text it to Katie using Paul’s phone and she’s a little thrawn at the moment.

Alex has bright dyed red hair now. He loves it.

The last of the laundry is dry but not put away – this last load was almost entirely mismatched socks LOL. I can stop buy socks if I have enough of them, and pretty soon I will.

Leftover palak paneer for breakfast; cooked pork chomps, taters, broccoli, mushrooms and carrots for supper last night. Should be some sign of my mental state coming home yesterday that I didn’t think to consult with Jeff, who had already eaten… Today marinated ginger tofu with beansprouts and rice vermicelli in some kind sauce. And I got to eat that half melon.

Only 1 top score in Lumosity (again, tanking scores…) and the only writing yesterday was social media and an attempt to make a poem out of a several years old and quite expired to do list.

Trans Day of Visibility today. There’s a rally at Grandview Park at 3:30.

today

wordle in three, I will not be writing today and didn’t yesterday, Lumosity scores IN THE TANK, schlep this morning now that Jeff’s back, I’m going to update the master shopping list with the aisle numbers of the grocery store (eventually), one more load of laundry to do and then literally my only dirty clothes will be the ones I’m wearing, bedding all changed and comfy (slept admirably well last night)…

I gaze at the Three Piles Paper Cruft and sigh heavily. At least I know where my INCREDIBLY out of date will is. I have actually updated it. Keith never answered me about being my executor. I think I’ll ask Kate. Later. She said yes. She also told me she’s being renovicted, along with everyone else at Caspell Junction, by August of this year. Three months to find space in one of the worst rental markets in global history.

You can see my floor

This once in a lifetime viewing experience is my clean room

also my fingers, I took the photo with the computer. I still have about a day of work to decruft papers and get my granddad’s desk to Surface Zero.

Also…. silverfish et Tish’s last letter to me. I am abashed. Literally illegible now. Time to haul off to the hardware store and get diatomaceous earth.

Also…. today I am going to take a bunch of stuff to the thrift store. Perhaps I will be able to wheedle Jeff into going as well, although he usually needs a day to recover from getting home from the ferry. The drivers in this town are quite something…

Seriously thinking about going to the Trans Day of Visibility rally in Grandview Park tomorrow, but I also want to not go alone.

Beautiful day yesterday

Took down the cobwebs in my room and vacuumed, so as soon as I’m out of this bed (won’t be long) I’ll wash my bedding and finish putting stuff back (throwing stuff out….)

The house two doors down caught fire but it was put out almost instantly by the BFD. I mean I smelled smoke and heard sirens at the same time. No injuries that I could see.

FINALLY GOT GAS IN THE CAR. The idea that fifty bucks won’t fill the Echo is repellent to me personally but it is as things are.

My twitter friend Greg exposed me to the band ‘Pigeon Pit’ – folk music instruments, bluegrass and folk and folk rock arrangements and blazingly cheerful social justice lyrics? Yes please and thank you Greg.

Filking/bluegrass practice at Peggy’s last night. Paul came and had less trouble with the guitar than last time, and while the beauty of his voice is dimmed he’s still singing, darn it. He worked his usual Tuesday yesterday as a volunteer but he was obviously a bit bushed – still cheerful though – and moving super slow. Peggy made blueberry pie. I didn’t partake as I’d had enough to eat that day. We tried to see the planetary alignment but only Venus made it through the haze. Paul missed his colonoscopy. He knew it was happening but gapped the prep. Drove him home from filking a little after ten and made sure he got to the stairs but I noted Dax on the back deck so knew he had someone’s help if he needed it.

Talked to Dave on the phone, very encouraging that he sounds a lot more chipper, although his energy level still sucks.