Month: September 2006

Death in the family
2006-09-30— Posted by: allegra

My auntie Jackie’s mum passed away yesterday. I light a candle for her transition, and the transitions of her kin and friends.

Quick news blast
2006-09-30— Posted by: allegra

1. Finally signed up for del.icio.us.
2. Everybody in the household slept here last night.
3. Whipped cream on oatmeal is delicious.
4. I am insufficiently caffeinated for the performance of my duties, but Keith is fixing that even as I type.
5. I am working my way through Suzette Haden Elgin’s The Last Word on the Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense and I keep wanting to loan it to my pOp as a model for whatever book we’ll try to squeeze out of him when the Province of BC drop kicks him through the Goal Posts of Retirement.
6. Janice left so many books that I am alternately grinning and looking consterned. I mean, there’s consternation, but where’s the consterned?
7. Katie is taking two pans of brownies to a baby shower that she will not be able to attend. My attempts to console her were met with a wan smile.
8. Katie says that washing dishes is good for meditations on heat transfer.
9. I light a candle for John M. in Afghanistan who narrowly missed being killed in a roadside explosion. He is the eldest of one of my family’s closest friends. 10. I light a candle for the Queen of England, who has given over a portion of Windsor Castle to be a Mosque for her Muslim servants. This is by no means a new thing; the shrine at the base of Gebel Musa has places of worship for Muslims and Eastern Orthodox and Catholic celebrants and it’s been that way for over a thousand years. The places of tolerance are not hard to find if you look; the heart is still the hardest place sometimes.
11. I gotta get off the computer, Paul needs to fire off some emails before we head out to Harrison Hot Springs to look at the sand castles. It’s raining, but I don’t mind.

Joke
2006-09-29— Posted by: allegra

What does a Congressman use for a bookmark?
Bent over pages!

Damn that Wackypedia
2006-09-29— Posted by: allegra

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DisneySpeak

Hey Alan, scroll down about half way.

The man who had 14 wives
2006-09-29— Posted by: allegra

This guy is a realllllllll creep. And he lived in Toronto, too! I wonder what his children have to say about him.

Presenting Dr. Killeen

Convertible
2006-09-29— Posted by: allegra

Janice picked me up in the convertible last night and whisked me away to the Keg, where we had very very good steak and ate a LOT of mushrooms. Yum.

I think Katie is home, her door is closed.

Scanged from fark.com, it is to giggle. http://kare11.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=135536 The gist is a teacher took out a full page yearbook ad messing over the students, administration and school district. If the pic of the teacher is still up, be prepared to wonder when Harlan Ellison got so fat.

Dr Filk has been practicing up a storm for the various cons he and Filkola are playing this fall. Filkola is trying to get him to wear a dress for the Mad Scientist’s Love Song but so far no dice. We shall see if her powers and persuasions and general cussed wiliness will win the day.

Worksibling Mohammed sent me this
2006-09-27— Posted by: allegra

http://www.breakingranks.net/weblog/20-ways

One more thing……Okay, three more things.
2006-09-27— Posted by: allegra

Little more follow up…. that is an extremely athletic Donny Osmond doing the background dancing in White and Nerdy. Goshwow. I mean I loved it the first time I saw it, but this has LAYERS of ARTISTRY that leave me SWOONING.

I haven’t commented on Uwe Boll (pron. oova bowl) and his fight night, but that’s just because I am waiting for somebody more clued in than I to comment, so I can crib the remarks. To set up the comments in a later post, two facts: Uwe Boll makes horrifically, mind numbingly, bone crushingly bad movies. He recently had a fight with some of his worst critics and beat the wooglies out of them.

Here’s how pink I really am
2006-09-27— Posted by: allegra

Okay, I make no secret of the fact that I am one of the pinkest people you ever met. I refer to myself as white, but it’s the same way brown people call themselves black . .. .. it’s a weird thing. I am pink. Anyway, I am so frikkin pink, that when I found out Seth Green (Oz from Buffy, he-man of Robot Chicken, film ecktor and all around cool dude) was showing off HIS OWN cherry collection of action figures in Weird Al Yankovic’s White and Nerdy, I immediately popped back onto Youtube and watched it again. As if obeying some inner law, the playback stopped HERE. I did a screen cap and just about lost control of my bladder. This was on screen for a tenth of a second, but he had to do this!!!!!

Oh, and google Weasel Stomping Day, but not if you a) love animals and b) hate Weird Al Yankovic.

Taking a hint
2006-09-27— Posted by: allegra

I picked up the phone last night and called Tish and Terry. Terry answered, in his usual sephulchral tones, and within about ten minutes I was laughing my ass off, which I was not in the least expecting. I congratulated him on being an empty nester. Sophie, his youngest, who was born within a few days of Katie, has left home for University. We talked about a number of subjects, including canoe paddles, car maintenance, the possibility of a joint jaunt to the Maritimes, what’s really important in life, & in-laws, and then I asked to speak to his charming life partner Tish and he moved off the mike and said (so I could hear him) some variant on “She won’t take a hint, you come and talk to her,” which left me wheezing with laughter, because he came within a hairsbreadth of sounding like he meant it.

Janice arrived shortly thereafter, and all hail fandom! If a friend shows up with a pile of books, she’s not offended if you dive right in and start with the print-lovin’. Unfortunately I’ve been feeling Just East of Dreadful (there’s folks sick at work right now, and I’ve been off color for a while) so I crashed out almost as soon as Paul got home from work, but it was fun piling through the book boxes with frequent squeals of glee.

I was up at quarter to four and now I’m twying to be vewy vewy quiet so I don’t wake everybody up.

The latest Fantasy and Science Fiction has some great stuff in it. Yeah, I could be more specific, but rather than go into full blown review mode, I think I’ll quit blogging and work on transcribing The Dream in Fragments, the song I wrote last Friday morning.

Katie hasn’t been home in three nights. Or I should say she’s dropped in but not slept over. She’s apparently going to school, and I imagine she’ll come home today long enough to grab some clothes, shower and head off to work. I won’t see her, of course. Sigh.

Bettie Rules
2006-09-26— Posted by: allegra

So (scanged from NBC30.com), look what a really fine friend of the owner of the house painted on the side facing the highway!?

The roof beam is strategically placed, wouldn’t you say?

Technobabble runs wild
2006-09-26— Posted by: allegra

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5125780462773187994

Skunkfest
2006-09-26— Posted by: allegra

Is anybody surprised that the sixth annual Skunkfest just took place in North Ridgeville?

I useta know somebody with a pet skunk. It takes all kinds to make a world.

enough sleep
2006-09-26— Posted by: allegra

I could fill 10 column inches with descriptions of my physical woes, but that’s just boring, so to the mail bag, Alichino!

For those of us who identify as Cucuteni, a link – http://www.trypillia.com/info/index.shtml. I especially like the useful pots to put things in.

Along the same lines, http://www.barbaratedlock.com/excerpts/old_wisdom.htm

Janice arrives today. If the winds be fair and the border sane, she will arrive in time to pick me up from work, which means I might have a ride home in a convertible to look forward to.

I’m going to have to stop reading feminist literature, it’s exhausting. I’m being sarcastic, of course. Is that all right?

Executive compensation
2006-09-25— Posted by: allegra

As I was traipsing through eurekalert.org, I ran across this article on the effects of executive compensation on an organization.

http://www.informs.org/article.php?id=1232&p=

for me mum
2006-09-25— Posted by: allegra

http://www.theanticraft.com/materialism.htm

Hey mOm, go here and scroll halfway down. But take cough syrup first, because this WILL make you laugh.

Bones as art
2006-09-25— Posted by: allegra

http://www.ludd.luth.se/%7Esilver_p/kutna.html

Weird you want, weird you get. But I swear, officer, I did NOT melt that man’s lug wrench.

Mother dear Mother
2006-09-25— Posted by: allegra

My mother, despite the fact she’s feeling like somebuddy flung her down some stairs and picked her up with a red hot shovel, is working on my DNA scarf.

Neener, neener booboo.

John M (Mike) Ford is dead
2006-09-25— Posted by: allegra

John M Ford was only a year older than me. He’d been in poor health for a while. Pic is of my favorite book of his.

Smelling the Linden Dairy Air
2006-09-25— Posted by: allegra

Poor Doc Filk. He was heading north to Kanada on a motorcycle when the border guards all jumped on their chairs. Now let me get this straight; how is getting a gun (and requalifying once a year in broad daylight, harumph, harumph) gonna make the Canuckistani border guards safer? Right now, if somebody comes through with a gun, you smile and wave them through and let the Horsemen deal with it, that’s what they’re paid to do, right? Once the border guards have guns, I know that I’ll feel ever so much safer as a regular citizen, knowing that a bunch of underqualified weenies will have service revolvers that they will be LOOKING FOR EXCUSES to wave the frikkin’ things around. Bozoid thinking of the finest water!

I think Doc Filk’s pun was pretty damned funny though, as well as being accurate. Linden Dairy Air indeed….

Dreaming
2006-09-24— Posted by: allegra

Last night I had not one but several work related dreams. One was me walking up to a worksibling’s desk and realizing that the reason I couldn’t see him was because he was napping next to his desk. I was immediately overcome with tiredness and lay down next to him (there was nothing remotely sexual about this) and the two of us ended up sleeping like puppies in a blanket. The second part of the dream is that my work group all went to a training session and during the training session my boss fired an Uzi, but believe it or not it was all in good fun and to a point that he was making in the presentation, so nobody was upset. And there were two other little work minidreams, being stuck in a very bad elevator with three of my least favorite coworkers (all men) as the cable snapped and we plummeted; and having a live minicam on in the car of one of my overseas coworkers while a spectacular bus/motorcycle/car accident happened in front of them. All I saw was the motorcyclist go flying past the car; the rest of it was all reaction shot of the folks inside the vehicle as the dodged debris.

Baby animals
2006-09-23— Posted by: allegra

This is a less-than-a-week-old otter. Photo credit Heribert Fischer.

I love crap like this
2006-09-23— Posted by: allegra

Fever
2006-09-23— Posted by: allegra

Chipper called “for five minutes” Like Such a Thing Is Possible. Fortyfive massively entertaining and information packed minutes whiz by, and then I’m thinking, man, I took a nap today and I still feel like “my parachute didn’t open” as pOp says. I think… Maybe I should take my temperature? And I did, and I’m running a degree of fever. Despite it all I had such a productive, me oriented kind of day; worked on Gossip, one of Dr. Filk’s faves (although not because I wrote it for his ex-wife, at least I don’t think so), wrote another tune called The Nothing Doing Vacation (song title not yet fixed, but I sang it to Chipper over the phone and she squee’d in a MOST gratifying fashion (then she sang me a Bjork song that she’s done some clown choreography to); worked on the song I wrote yesterday morning (like at 6 in the ayem, can you credit it?) which still doesn’t have lyrics; got a haircut (phoned the shop “When’s my appointment?” “Five minutes hence, dumbass!”); went shopping for Welding, this amazing AG haircare product that performs PRECISELY as advertised; bought Cobbs Bread for Keith; walked all the way back to the meat market and got schnitzel and bacon and other yummy things and then walked all the way home; I was footsore but very cheerful and who should greet me but Keith. I cooked lunch and then lay down with that book of Canadian Feminist Literary Criticism Janice loaned me which is alternately hilarious, low key, scholarly, incomprehensible (and happy to be so), in your face and aggrieved. My eyeballs started feeling very hot and pressured, not just because of the reading material so I napped. I woke up and it was like three o’clock in the afternoon and I had the house to myself. Every time I tried to do something harder than laundry or dishes I’d feel kinda spacy, and I thought it was just me. Now I know I’m running a temperature and I’m thinking GREAT! Now I take painkillers and lie in bed! And I already got out and stirred my stumps in this beautiful fall weather (by myself, so I could write a song, because I didn’t have to pay attention to anybody else!!), so it’s not like I didn’t get any exercise today. All in all, I picked a great time and place to get mildly sick. We shall see if it turns into something more disgusting or whether a good night’s sleep turns it over. Mind you if my parents gave me double pneumonia over the phone I’m gonna be really mad at them.

Rub my tummy
2006-09-23— Posted by: allegra

Imagine someplace where you get to pet tigers for a small fee. (Or so I assume – wouldn’t YOU pay for the privilege?) This is from Kanchanaburi, Thailand, pic scanged from the BBC.

Vincati
2006-09-23— Posted by: allegra

Believe it or not, I have been a passenger on both a 1951 Vincent Black Shadow (I joined the 100 mile an hour club that day) and a Ducati (can’t remember the year, it is one of Dr Filk’s lamented bikes), so when I found out that some crazy dudes were mashing these two bikes together, I HAD to find and post a pic. This scanged from the Cycle Canada website, thanks guys.

Living in Paradise II
2006-09-23— Posted by: allegra

There’s Carly communing with the seals.

Living in Paradise
2006-09-23— Posted by: allegra

This is Carly, taken Labour Day weekend. Happy sigh. But wait! There’s more!!!

Eating and drinking and talking and planning
2006-09-23— Posted by: allegra

Worksibling Scott and I, joined by Kate, after she got released from the kitchen, ate and drank beer and whined about relationships, work and other stuff. Katie didn’t actually drink beer but she poached nachos and dry ribs from our plates. It was a very pleasant way to end the week. My last glimpse of Scott was of him trying to get a picture of the sunset from the west end of Sperling Station; I’m hoping he did get something interesting, because it was a spectacular sunset and I want to post it.

Paul’s doing his yoga. I should do my exercises as soon as he clears the floor space.

Paul in preparation for winter has hacked down the figs, cleaned out the electret filter for the furnace, and resealed all the doors. He was ably assisted by Keith in the fig trimming, and it was a pile of work. Sometime yesterday one of the hideous, disgusting mirror tiles in the downstairs front hallway fell off the wall. Yay! Now we have a sign that it’s time to rip it all down and replace it with a nice big piece of float glass. Or maybe a nice big piece of cork.

Katie came home last night and has to start work at 10 this morning, lucky her.

Every time I make fun of Chipper for not being able to find things on the internet, it’s because I’m forgetting she’s got dialup. Dur… sorry.

If you have a 2007 IKEA catalogue, make sure you have a good look at the dog on the inside of the front cover. Oopsie. Let’s just say that the dog, which is looking knowingingly at the camera, is ‘happy’.

Yes! I get a haircut today. I was going to say trim, but knowing the mentality of my readers I figured I should make it more specific. The weather looks gorgeous, and it’s just another day in paradise. As all of us Saskatchewan scions know….

State religion in the US?
2006-09-22— Posted by: allegra

http://www.iht.com/articles/2006/09/21/opinion/edbill.php

I read about it in the blogosphere and then tracked it back to a ‘legitimate’ news source. Gulp. I feel nauseous. I just don’t want to believe this is true. And then I read that there’s a debate about legalizing torture in the US.

First they came for the Jews, and I didn’t say anything, because I wasn’t Jewish….I have to stop reading the news, it’s making me sad.

Jason Fortuny
2006-09-22— Posted by: allegra

It isn’t even 5 in the morning, and I feel compelled to get up and rant already. I guess this is what happens when Paul and I, contemplating all the things we COULD be doing, vote for sleep at 8:30 in the evening. So while Paul does something socially useful, like his morning yoga exercises (how I enjoy listening to him do his yoga breathing) I’m gonna rant. From each according to his abilities, to each according to her needs. Note how a slight gender shift moves the meaning of that statement from high flown drama to a fly blown joke….

Anyway.

Today I’d like to rant about Jason Fortuny. I was waiting for a sign from the heavens before I should join my opinion to the mighty river of obloquy that is (crikey! I had to LOOK UP obloquy to spell it correctly – that a ranter must look up obloquy!?) the blogosphere these days, and I got it in the form of Dan Savage’s column last night.

For those of you unfamiliar with the story, Jason Fortuny took a picture of a woman’s ass, and posted it on Craigslist in the “looking for sex” column as if he was a hot 25 year old submissive, ah, woman. Well he isn’t. He has had a hard life, and he recently had to sell all of his action figures (considering I’ve been reciting Weird Al Yankovic’s lyrics for White and Nerdy for the last three days, I nearly fell off my chair when I read that) to pay some debts, and he has a history of cruel pranks to look back on, but he’s not a woman, submissive or otherwise, he’s a sad boy child of 30 with a bad temper. His upbringing left him with a tragic inability to be sympathetic to anybody outside a very narrow band, so that means that any and all of us could have been on the receiving end of his bile.

And what prank did Jason Fortuny play on the almost two hundred, I’m assuming mostly men, who answered the ad, including some with their work email addresses and ‘candids’ with their faces and full frontals?

He reposted their emails and pictures to a location which became Schadenfreude’s number one hit URL.

Now, I am vanilla. I’ve always been vanilla. I will always be vanilla. I don’t like spanking or getting spanked (or being tied up or humiliated or ****** on). Causing or receiving pain during adult oriented fun and frolic is icky to me. But, like a true white liberal, I’m gonna get up on my hind legs and bleat “Some of my best friends are kinky!” and say that the thing I object to most emotionally is that Jason Fortuny didn’t pick a very useful target. Why not go after pedophiles? He claims to have been molested himself. But noooooo.

Most of the blogosphere thinks the people he picked on were scumbags who deserve to lose their jobs. Dan Savage, may he nestle in the bosom of the Parking Goddess forever, commented that most of us would not withstand a really close look at our lives. As in, “You would be hopelessly screwed if somebody took a close look at your cookies, your DVD collection, and your email history”. Amen.

I had to back up and delete a paragraph that detailed some of the bad bad things I’ve done with the company email, so let’s just take it as read. Too gross for public consumption, alas. But like Mr. Fortuny, I may be called to account someday, and I am ready.

So what precisely did Jason Fortuny do wrong? In the last analysis, nothing that isn’t self-correcting. The kink community has been served notice that if it wants to keep on trucking, it has to control its own media and messaging services, and practice ‘safe hex’; Jason himself may or may not get his head busted in or face legal consequences for his misuse of public waters, being Craigslist; self righteous Aholes with time on their hands may parse Jason’s livejournal for clues as to the motivations for his behaviour (fortunately I don’t have to, because somebody’s already done it for me. Google Jason Fortuny and you’ve got an hour’s worth of reading, some of it very disturbing indeed, in front of you); civil libertarians can bite first one hand and then the other

I for one, with my own little mind, am thinking of this as being, in a small but very real way, the beginning of the end of the free internet (like it ever was, but you know what I mean). Unless those of us who are willing to PAY for the privilege of communicating freely and without intervention using ones and zeroes get together and make a secure, distributed and functionally paranoid place to exchange information, something not susceptible to foreclosure, political pressure or theft by the Russian Mafia, we’re going to lose every inch of the pipeline we’ve come to be addicted to. Net neutrality is a chimera; anything that can be used steal your identity, clean out your bank account, sic the cops on you for no good reason, and send strangers to your door thinking they are going to be partying with your 12 year old daughter is not a NEUTRAL PLACE. It’s time for those of us who cherish liberty to REALLY pay to play, and not just fork over more cash to the US Telcos for DSL. That’s the lesson of Jason Fortuny.

I’ve found something else for my mother to knit.
2006-09-21— Posted by: allegra

I emailed my mother the link to this scarf pattern. Once she recovers from her terrible cough, maybe I can bribe her to knit it pour moi.

enough sleep
2006-09-21— Posted by: allegra

Last night I dreamed we all lived in a big old Victorian house (like a mirror image of the old house on 74, but about 2 metres wider) and a short man about Paul’s age with a beret and cropped grey beard and a boy of about seven in a beret with a blue star painted over one eye came to my door and dropped off a magic book. The pages were the colour of the Virgin’s mantle and the ink was in all colours, mostly gold, and the words and the pictures moved. It was a directory. I called somebody to find out who they were and they were in town from the States (from Auburn) here to see the plastination exhibit at Science World and they had agreed to drop the book off to select Unitarians.

Weird you want, weird you get. But I swear, I did NOT melt that man’s lug wrench.

After the fact……..
2006-09-20— Posted by: allegra

Never ever ever feed your cats anything with onions or garlic. It can make them very very sick. I suspect that’s what happened to Zeek! after he plowed through some spaghetti sauce.

I have no idea what kind of deer that is
2006-09-20— Posted by: allegra

This picture was sent to me under the rubric “Are You My Mommy?”

Need a lift?
2006-09-20— Posted by: allegra

http://www.dorks.com/html/Funny-Cats-Video.html

If you hate cats, don’t watch it. If you do like cats, you’ll pee laughing. The Japanese children’s chorus in the background adds to the charm of it, strangely enough.

Katie finally came home. With A F)CKING BIG TATTOO. After I finished twittering about health issues, she drily said, “I watched Kat take the needle out of the package.” You can see it’s a bit red, but it’s not a bad piece at all.

Carolyn Porco sent me an email
2006-09-19— Posted by: allegra

Who is she? Well, apart from a brief correspondence regarding atheism and other issues, I don’t know her any better than you do. But she’s a world famous astronomer, and I’m on her mailing list, so without further ado and before the press release rolls, here’s a pic showing a new ring of Saturn. Visit ciclops.org for much more, including a new image of the blue Earth!

A question answered
2006-09-19— Posted by: allegra

It drives me nuts sometimes that I see native words and can’t pronounce them. Then I trip face down in this – while I was looking for something else. http://smalgyax.unbc.ca/

Appropriate technology
2006-09-19— Posted by: allegra

Here’s the son of a coworker with one severely phat chair.

It’s talk like a Pirate Day
2006-09-19— Posted by: allegra

I can’t talk like a pirate, but I can squeak like a rubber ducky.

Alistair Cooke lives on
2006-09-19— Posted by: allegra

http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/09/19/cooke.ap/index.html

Now, I know I have a fetish for zombie films, but this is both rude and ridiculous. He may be dead, but the lawsuit will be forever.

Waxing my psychic car
2006-09-19— Posted by: allegra

Katie didn’t come home last night, but she did call to say so, so I am content.

If you want tobacco seeds, just ask me. I have lots. Tobacco seeds are the size of flyspecks and an amazing… uh … tobacco brown.

Paul just said to me that he had a totally screwed up night at work, but he sounded too brighteyed to have been summarily dismissed. I quizzed him, and he said something mysterious and interesting so now I can hardly wait for him to get home for some OTHER reason than that I can’t get to work until he brings home the car..

Last night, I dreamed I was somebody else, but when I woke up, I was still 40 pounds overweight. (Actually, I’m down to 180 pounds, which is amazing considering I’m not actually trying to lose weight and it’s fall.)

Had a lovely long chat with Janice last night (I was reading a book she gave me when she called, which I found a wonderful coincidence) and SHE’s going to the SmithSONian today, and you’re not. My mother is blowing her nose in purest envy, I betcha, and I’m envious too, but in the nice way of appreciating cool things happening to your friends rather than wishing that nothing nice ever happened, except to you.

Janice is coming to visit us soon, and THIS TIME we’re going to a poolhall AND a bookstore. I hope. I’m really a lazy layabout these days. Maggie and Chipper also both play pool, why shouldn’t I? Well, apart from the fact that I’m about as coordinated as a drunken binge, nothing, really.

Brother James has forgiven me for trying to part him from his livelihood and expressed his forgiveness by providing Paul and me with exceptionally good advice about buying appliances. He used to sell them, after all, so he has that secret handshake thing down pat.

Have a good day y’all. The blessings of the Divine Wow attend you….

House of Plague
2006-09-19— Posted by: allegra

First mOm sends me an email saying pOp is feeling so lousy he may not go in to work. Now, you must remember ‘work’ for my dad involves Getting Out of Bed, Donning a Bathrobe, and Walking to the Computer Room to Answer the Phone and Empty out the Fax Machine. This means, of course, and I swore like a stevedore when I saw it, that pOp is on the point of expiring. So the NEXT email is that pOp has double pneumonia (I have had pneumonia once, it SUCKED; I tend more to bronchitis and I haven’t had bronchitis in ages thank Guh).

If he doesn’t markedly improve on the drugs he’s been given, he’ll be into the hospital for an IV, and if you are one of those people who rushes the exits when a needle appears, believe me, my pOp’s out the door so far ahead of you that there’s nothing to see but the scorch marks he left in the linoleum. My mOm’s still feeling like animatronic scrap.

I light a candle for the Plague Victims.

Confidential to Swampy… could it be adhesions?

It’s been bally ages since I posted a moose pic
2006-09-18— Posted by: allegra

Ah, a moose picture, from Norway. Moosiness. Ah.

scanged from somethingawful.com
2006-09-18— Posted by: allegra

It’s been bally ages since I posted a decent vampire pic. Stolen from Something Awful.

Burt Rutan interviewed
2006-09-18— Posted by: allegra

Burt Rutan is the very model of the modern libertarian.

http://www.reason.com/hod/tb033105.shtml

I’ve thought this many times
2006-09-18— Posted by: allegra

I stole and mashed this.

To take the taste out of your mouth…….
2006-09-18— Posted by: allegra

So after the “you’ve got a purty mouth” bear kiss, how about a 1700 pound chocolate moose?

http://www.lenlibby.com/lenny.htm

And now for something completely different…
2006-09-18— Posted by: allegra

The ceremonial shooting of the florists. Alan, I saw this, and I thought of you, but I don’t think you and Janice went trapshooting right after yuz got married.

Lucky Number Slevin
2006-09-18— Posted by: allegra

I just watched Lucky Number Slevin again, this time all the way through. It’s a good movie, an interesting collection of surfaces. The script is quite remarkable, likewise lighting, editing, score, set decoration, costuming and the insouciant way the film abandons reality when reality stands in the way of the story. Oh, and the wallpaper. If ever an auteur ever announced his presence with authority, McGuigan sure’s-hell does in this film. The bloody wallpaper is a movie in itself. And the film references. Instead of being shyly deferential and subtle in its film references, the movie dances on your toes and says, “Didja feel that?” The Bond references, the Cary Grant reference. Don’t forget Bond shoots people – or whatever it takes to do the job – although admittedly the job is never revenge as it is with Slevin.

Now, Paul’s take on the movie is that the body count is REALLY REALLY HIGH. Being 1 guy, and then another guy, and then another guy, and then a couple of guys, and then another couple of guys, and then another other other couple of guys. And like that. And then a woman. So yeah, there’s lots of dead guys. Dead losses, most of them.

Josh Hartnett goes from being likable and cuddly to being pure evil by very slightly narrowing his eyes. And I’m sure they messed with his vocal track in that scene. It’s just… eerie. Lucy Liu is so adorable you want to pick her up and take her home, and then maybe (ed. knock it off). Bruce Willis makes one expression last a whole movie without it ever getting boring. I have no idea how he does that, but the effect is amazing. Sir Ben Kingsley does a wonderful job messing with a New York accent; the various hired thugs and bit parts are well cast. Morgan Freeman doesn’t chew scenery so much as he allows himself to be heaved in the air from a blanket of support held by his costars. He obviously loves playing the Paternal Figure of Businesslike Evil.

Stanley Tucci is hot. Okay, I’m sick. But it’s not a bad sickness. I think Brian Dennehy is hot (like, 20 years ago). I think George Clooney is his own class of hotness. I think Sam Waterston is hot. (Now that is sick). I think Dylan Moran has his own temperature scale. And just to prove how sick I am… this picture.

Brayden napping
2006-09-17— Posted by: allegra

Don’t you wish you could still sleep like this???

Various
2006-09-17— Posted by: allegra

One of my aunties is in town for medical treatment. She has the same thing my ma had but the course of treatment is different. Get well soon Auntie D.

mOmandpOp are both feeling under the weather with a range of symptoms I am too squeamish to post, so I am lighting a candle for the rapid resolution of their quartain ague (or whatever the hell you want to call it).

My granny seems to be as fine as you can be when you’re casually sneaking up on your second century of life.

Dax slept over; he’s gone home and Katie’s off to work.

Pic is part of my ongoing effort to post as many pictures as possible of dogs riding horses.

Paul has a nice birthday and so do I
2006-09-16— Posted by: allegra

http://planetgonecrazy.blogspot.com/2006/09/opera-fans-prefer-magic-mushrooms.html

mOm, just read down to the third last paragraph and be prepared to giggle. Make sure you read it to pOp.

Paul had his nicest birthday in years. We feasted him last night at Chong Lum Hin with friends, family and flying buddies; we ate breakfast together this morning at IHOP with the kids (they had been working the night before); and he and I went for a walk in Deer Lake Park and we saw FOUR TURTLES sunning themselves on a log. Happy sigh. Killed ourselves laughing overhearing other people insisting that they ‘weren’t real’. Watched folks get ready for the Lantern Festival tonight.

Then I tried to buy him a birthday present but he insisted on putting it on the household account (!?) which was great because I had also found Three Kings and Bells are Ringing for the kids and he found Bitches Brew (and this is the SECOND time we’ve got the album because it’s been stolen once before) so we ended up buying a lot of media today. Then I treated him (and he let me) to an early dinner at Pho Hong on the Kingsway and then we came home and snoozed.

I finished Lucy Sussex’ The Scarlet Rider and loved it; now I am trying to balance it by reading some more Dale Spender but it’s heavy sledding. I think I will just go back to reading Through Alien Eyes; I’m in a fictiony kinda mood right now.

The kids are home from work, and Paul has gone into work on midnights, and it’s all very peaceful; in about ten minutes Katie is going to a party downtown with Dax and Justin, at which point I suspect Keith and I will be ripping the wrapper off Three Kings. George Clooney, happy sigh.

My heartfelt thanks to the folks who came out to the birthday party; Paul really really enjoyed it.

Please provide caption
2006-09-16— Posted by: allegra

Isn’t this a great picture? Pope Benedict and his ongoing headgear monkey show.

Buying an appliance
2006-09-16— Posted by: allegra

So we figured out which dishwasher we wanted, and, as you may have noticed, Canadian retailers are very grudging about taking your phone calls to give you information. After being on hold for 10 minutes calling a retailer in Bellingham, Paul hung up. Then we called Coast, and they cut me off. Then we called the Bay, and a very nice young man named Afshin took the model information AND CALLED ME BACK within 10 minutes with price and availability, for ten bucks less than the Coast guy had quoted (with no availability). So screw it, if and when we buy a portable dishwasher, it will be from the Bay, because in addition to being less expensive, they gave way better service.

In my continuing efforts to fill the immense demand of my public for more great pictures of Pope Benedict feeding his headgear monkey, I provide you with this “Pope dons Riot Gear” pic. He can come to Fetish Night an-y-time if he’s gonna go for that “aging yuppie biker in a dress” look. It’s from a website which disses the last two Popes as being too worldly. Oh yeah, too worldly. There’s always somebody out there who can out-arch-conservative the Pope; is that a scary thought, or whut? Let’s get something straight. I diss the Popes because they are wily old guys who love me and hate my sin (thanks, fellas) who spend enough on clothes each year to buy school lunches in the City of Vancouver. Hey, did you know people yelled “Santo Subito!” at Pope John Paul II’s funeral? By the will of the people he will be getting his fitting for a halo quite a few years early. Also, Wikipedia reliably informs me (for some reason they’ve locked the Pope’s entry, can you credit it???) that Papa Ratzi will be fast tracking the beatification of the Italian priest murdered in Turkey this past year by a pistol packing teenager who wanted to provide a somewhat percussive commentary on the Catholic Church’s missionary activities in Trabzon. Yeah, all in all, I think the Pope’s visit to Turkey later this year should be a smashing success, although I have spared many a thought for the poor son of a gun who will be running security for the Papal visit to Turkey. My thoughts are with you, whoever you are.

Late breaking tip. If you are collecting tobacco seeds, don’t bite your fingernails afterwards. I’ve accidentally ingested so much tobacco juice that my eyes are blurring and I feel quite light headed.

Grumpy apology
2006-09-14— Posted by: allegra

Brother James is under the impression that I can prevent him from making a living by encouraging people to hang on to their cell phones as long as possible. Since the chances that anybody would pay attention to my advice in this regard are actually smaller than you, James, being hit by lightning while juggling a six ball cascade, I wouldn’t be too worried.

What I should have said was, “I’m sure glad I have an excuse not to buy another phone – I can barely understand the one I have.” So I’m sorry. I should’ve passed on that comment.

It’s like finding out that virtually every chocolate bar I eat that isn’t made of fair trade cocoa makes slaves of little African boys and girls (which is also true, malfortunately, and it’s as true of superfine super$$$ Belgian chocolate as it is of a Brand Name Redacted bar).

I’m going to curl up with a book now, I’ve made enough apologies today. I mean, I cain’t hardly ENJOY anything anymore. Can you?

From Beneath You, They Devour
2006-09-14— Posted by: allegra

Okay, this is just plain frikkin bizarre.

Weird you want, weird you got.

http://news.uns.purdue.edu/UNS/html4ever/2006/060914DeWoodyVole.html

Don’t buy a new phone
2006-09-14— Posted by: allegra

If you buy a new cell phone, you are subsidizing slavery.

http://www.alternet.org/story/41477

Looping back to an earlier post
2006-09-14— Posted by: allegra

01/26/2005

Thought for the day
2006-09-14— Posted by: allegra

I think I have mind like a condom. No matter what I stuff into it, it always goes back to its original shape.

Yeah, well, two beers later
2006-09-12— Posted by: allegra

So I come home and down two quick beers, and feed a few crunchies to Zeek! who’s bugging me for food the second I hit the door like he wasn’t dying this time last week, (note to self: the bastard) and what to my wondering inbox should appear but a note from the local Meetup group organizers association but a link that says, “Join” and I’m kinda in a joining mood these days, except rejoining church, and that’s really really a separate issue, so I’ll just parenthesise myself here (yet again) by saying that all that needs to happen is for the Reverend to actually formally ask me to rejoin and I will, but it never seemed to occur to anybody to ask me to stay, which really fucking amazed me at the time I quit. It was like everybody was secretly relieved to see the back of me, the minister most of all. Okay, Tom and Peggy do count; they did ask me to stay, but I was holding out for a formal request for the minister, and can you believe it never happened? She promised to call me about it two Novembers ago – or maybe one, I should check my records – I guess it didn’t matter because I was still pledging. Nem di gelt, baybeee!!! Where was I.

Quick note, following up on earlier post. Harlan Ellison quoth “I stand naked and defenseless before your absolutely correct chiding” with respect to the groping of Connie Willis. Like bite my shiny metal ass, ya puta. I meant to type putz, but stet baby stet.

Oh, ya, the Meetup.com organizers. Anyway, they asked me to join and then asked a bunch of rather imprudent questions, because here are my answers. Shit, I think I’m burning my perogies. Nope, they are Keith cooked, which means they are hanging on the hairy edge of burned. Okay, herewith my Meetup.com answers….Of course I’m half-snapped, you idiot, and you’d be too if you were full of things you couldn’t commit to a public forum and two hours away from a conversation in which you could talk about it….. Hi mOm. I’ll call ya later. PS Paul and I are getting along fine, ditto Dr. Filk, the kids, and my coworkers. I’m just a leedle brain burnt….. and hey Sandy/Chipper, Brother James, Bro & Sis Alan&Janice, Dr. Filk (who hath none like him) Brother Peter, Brother Jeff, Brother Jerome, P., Ubersis Peggy, Filkola, Uberbro FIL and Cousin Gerald, PatRICia, I love you all and things are actually fine. I’m just watching my daughter dandle other people’s babies and getting fucking nervous.

Okay, the screen shot….

enough sleep
2006-09-12— Posted by: allegra

Katie showed up at dawn, saying, come and look, it’s a gorgeous sunrise. I’m like, and you’ve been where? But that’s kind of a buttheaded comment, and I gave her the Starbucks card (which my boss gave me yesterday morning by way of apologizing for making me do a real day’s work for a change -long story.) Then she asked me why my MP3 player doesn’t work, and I said, “Well it hasn’t worked for a while!” subtext wtf are you doing in my room going through my drawers.

Speaking of drawers, I’m wearing silk Nordstrom lingerie right now, and you’re not.

I have a tremendous urge to drink all the beer in the fridge and not go to work today. I have no idea where that came from, but considering that today will be a better day than yesterday, and that there’s only one beer cold in the fridge, that’s probably not the best possible use of my time. And I already packed my lunch.

We’re all doing famously here. Except I have to clean the house for a meeting I foolishly agreed to hold. But no good deed goes unpunished. (Clare Boothe Luce). And at the Filkhouse, no good feed goes unpunned. I should shut’er down, I’m obviously too goofy for words right now.

Cutie pie
2006-09-11— Posted by: allegra

I am a big fan of Richard Feynman, and here’s the puckish bongo playing wildman hisself, talking ’bout nanotech in November 1960.

This is for Paul
2006-09-11— Posted by: allegra

This pic is from the June 1940 PopSci.

Zeek! – ignore if you hate cats
2006-09-11— Posted by: allegra

I swore never to give my heart to a companion animal again, and then you know what that first successful feline-porcine cross does? Insists on jumping into my lap while I’m on the computer. He’s never done that the entire time he’s been living with us. He hung around (thought balloon “Her lap seems so much bigger when she’s on the sofa”) for about ten minutes and then jumped down. All I want is a kitty who will sit in my lap while I write, just like Bounce used to do. Heavy sigh.

Thought and Memory
2006-09-11— Posted by: allegra

I light a candle for the dead of this day, 5 years ago.

Mt. Bromo is about to burp
2006-09-10— Posted by: allegra

Here’s an Indonesian volcano called Mt. Bromo.

Zeek! update – ignore if you hate cats
2006-09-10— Posted by: allegra

Zeek! ate independently this morning, drank at least half a cup of water, and to all intents and purposes appears to be on the mend. We still have no idea what the hell is wrong with him, and he could rudely get sick on us again, but he likely would have died without an IV so let’s just assume this is all working out for the best. I’ll quit posting about him unless he starts discoursing on Shakespeare or starts acting like he’s dying again.

Housefilk
2006-09-10— Posted by: allegra

Pic is HIDEOUS new 747 Cargo plane. It looks like a corpulent banana slug with wings.

Housefilk and Tom and Peggy’s last night was AMAZING. Mal’s Song played & sung by the songwriters (Michelle and Tony). Squeeeee squeee. And I cry EVERY SINGLE TIME Dr Filk plays The Guardians. And I cry every time Brooke sings The Eagle has Landed. And it’s so fun matching the livejournal monikers to the people. (Expecially when Mike and Agnes say, “What is this LJ you are speaking of?” and Janice explains, with her usual celerity and clarity.)

Although, I have to say that the high point of the evening was when Tony sang Frank Hayes’ When I was a Boy. (“And we programmed in Ones and Zeroes… and sometimes we ran out of Ones.”) And then sang the Priapic version (“When Viagra was where they have falls”). I laughed until I cried. Tony is one flash guitar player and he sings purty good too.

Zeek! update – ignore if you hate cats
2006-09-09— Posted by: allegra

We spent almost a thousand dollars on him – well, the South Burnaby Animal Hospital has to pay for its new facility somehow – and got PRESSURED into giving him an abdominal ultrasound for another $300 – which pressure we politely disregarded – and brought him home. We are now having to force feed him. I managed to get the IV bandage off him with Keith’s assistance, but getting enough food into him is turning into a full time job. He’s eating enough to keep a cat on a very strict diet alive, but no more, and he doesn’t appear to be drinking enough. I’m not prepared to spend more money on him except in terms of palliation, and while Paul is not as hard core as me about the money side of things, he’s leaning my way. The stupid thing is that he obviously WANTS to eat. But at the last minute he veers off. Heavy sigh.

Spying on the directors & other comments.
2006-09-09— Posted by: allegra

I note that Sarbanes Oxley is (not) continuing to raise the moral IQ of American companies. HP knifed itself in the toe by spying on its own directors, in an attempt to find out which of the little weasels was leaking like a drunken teenager to the media. Didn’t know the methods they used were illegal. It is to turn a laugh into a cough.

I note that Chevron has made an enormous discovery. Mazel Tov, guys! Now build some more refineries. Then I will believe there’s enough oil.

New Zombie Flick is Good – So Buzz Sayeth
2006-09-08— Posted by: allegra

Word from the Toronto International Fillum Festival is that Fido, the new “sort of like Sean of the Dead” film, is really funny and really creepy. I may even take my brother to see it. And it has Carrie Ann Moss in it, too.

09/05 – looping back to a previous post
2006-09-08— Posted by: allegra

The nameless coworker who forwarded me the link about cosmetically bleaching your anus said, “Oh, Allegra. You must never watch porn movies.”

“I AM a porn movie,” I said. This of course is the merest bravado; I can provide no evidence that will stand up anywhere, let alone in court, in supporting such an assertion; I think Paul will hurt himself shaking his head when he reads that.

“No, I mean if you watched porn movies you’d know that porn stars all get their anuses bleached, and now just plain folks do it.”

Never have I been more thankful not to be just plain folks.

I pity the manager who walked in during the last sentence of this conversation. (I just made that up, but it would have been pretty funny).

Now, how can I put this in my blog? This disgusting, pointless anecdote, that merely proves my grade five sense of humor, and the ditto ditto of my coworkers?? Ah, the kicker is that my mother will read this aloud to my father. Snort.

Poor Kira – ignore if you hate cats.
2006-09-08— Posted by: allegra

She saw Zeek! leave in a cat carrier yesterday and he hasn’t come home yet. She is wandering all through the house, into Dr Filk’s place, upstairs, outside through the front door, outside through the back door, and you can see the little thought balloon. Where is he? Where is he? She’s not crying, but she’s very very sucky – for her – and she’s obviously distressed.

Keith rescues me!!!
2006-09-08— Posted by: allegra

Ah, when your kids get old enough to perform roadside rescues, life is good.

So, enniwess, I’m driving down 16th (site of two previous, somewhat more spectacular breakdowns – an axle snapping and a vehicle fire – oh, I’ve never told that story?) when my cell phone rings. Now, I pulled over, because driving and talking on the phone are nasty habits in and of themselves, but simply intolerable in combination. I call back the vet clinic to get an update on Zeek! (he’s eating a little, the IV is in and he’s hydrated, we’ll know more tomorrow).

That’s when I discovered I’d left the lights on.

Mildly annoyed at my own stupidity, I pulled out the Xpower Portable Power Generator that has been in the car for months (duly taken into the house occasionally to be charged) and, after carefully reading, and then rereading the instructions, get the car fired up. Pleased with my calm response to an emergency, I leap up to disconnect the jumper cable clips.

And promptly lock myself out of the car.

Which is merrily running.

So, looking plump, inoffensive, white and female, I hail a passing car, and in two minutes two stopped, but guy #1 had no cell phone, and gal #2 did, so I sent guy #1 away with words of sincere gratitude and phoned up Keith. To the best of my recollection, the conversation went as follows:

Keith, I’m on a borrowed cell phone. Can you please grab the spare car key and your cell phone and ride out to me about the same place the BugBus died?
(brief croggled pause) I gave it back to you. (another brief croggled pause) Maybe it’s on the fridge still….

Never mind that then, just grab your cell phone and get out here.
Okay.
(a thought occurs) Hey, Keith, do you have any minutes on your cell phone?
F*&%^!
Okay, just jump on your bike and get here.

Keith located the key and was holding it up so I could see it glinting in the setting sun as he approached on his bike (he made damned good time, too).

Thus was I rescued.

My heart was made glad by my ability to raise a Useful Person up from a squalling infant. Actually Keith didn’t squall much. He was equable right from the get go. All the same, you will take my point.

Number of the beast
2006-09-07— Posted by: allegra

It’s going to cost $666 to bail my cat out of the vet. He’s staying overnight. His abdomen is very tender and he’s dehydrated as all get out; or he was. He’s had an IV in him since this morning. Folks, this is BEFORE a diagnosis. This is not looking good.

Milagros update
2006-09-07— Posted by: allegra

As my legion of fans (all three of them) know, I have been following the progress of the pride of Lima, Milagros the little mermaid. Here’s an update.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/5325082.stm

Mother dear Mother -Talk like a Pirate day Sept 19
2006-09-07— Posted by: allegra

Please knit me a pirate booty bag!!!

Also can be adapted for biohazard symbols.

http://www.talklikeapirate.com/download/bootybag.pdf

Okay, I know you’re sick (she’s so sick that pOp dragged her off to the sawbones, whujjereckon?) and extremely busy dragging elderly relatives into the 19th century. But isn’t it wonderful?

Zeek! came home
2006-09-07— Posted by: allegra

Zeek! has come back in. He turned up his nose at breakfast (so did Kira, I think they dislike this new cat food) and now his reward is to go to the vet.

Germaine Greer lecturing the grieving
2006-09-07— Posted by: allegra

You know, it’s a sad and human thing to want to lecture people when they are doing something which appears dumb, but I believe Germaine Greer made something of an error in criticizing the Australians who are grieving the death of Steve Irwin, Croc Hunter. If she had said something along the lines of “He harassed wildlife for fun and profit, and he orphaned his children in such a fashion that they’ll be able to watch his death 17 billion times, and now he’s going to live in rerun heaven,” that would have been a personal observation, tasteless, but personal.

To hector the grieving multitudes with how dumb they are to have feelings for an animal annoyance specialist is a sign that after all these years, Germaine Greer has the temperament of a premenstrual teenaged girl. You know, crabby, and mouthy, and holding the human family up to impossibly high standards of conduct and intelligence.

People we see all the time on TV, especially the larger than life ones, become real to us, and it’s like Germaine doesn’t ‘get’ that. I mean, when Princess Di died (my mOm broke the news to me as I came through the door for a visit to Victoria) I was at first astounded that somebody as rich as that would die in such a mundane way. (I was going to say ‘pedestrian’ and then realized it wasn’t quite the right word.) Then, when I found out she hadn’t the brains to click-it, I exploded to my mother, “That woman orphaned her children because she was too frikkin stupid to do up her seatbelt.” But I noted in the global outpouring of grief that followed Di’s death that my opinion was WAYYYYY in the minority, and kept my trap shut.

In my opinion, Germaine Greer would have been wise to do the same. For I would rather look like an idiot grieving than like a callous f*ckwit lecturing. Allegra has spoken.

Oooh, quick note, this is not to deride her other writings, most especially the Obstacle Race. Which rocks.

Expletive deleted
2006-09-07— Posted by: allegra

I used to curse on my blog a lot, and this morning I am tempted to repeat what I said when I got up and surveyed my domain (so to speak) and discovered that Zeek! messed off out of the house when Katie came home from work midnightish. He may or may not come home before I have to leave for work this morning. It’s very, very inconvenient when your cat is moribund enough to require immediate medical attention, and lively enough to avoid it.

I’m going to go have a shower, maybe he’ll be sitting at the back door when I get out.

George Carlin
2006-09-06— Posted by: allegra

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yL6ULruYjNA

Arghh
2006-09-06— Posted by: allegra

Zeek! is NOT at the vet’s right now. He left the house about the time Paul tried to catch him. I have to take him in tomorrow morning; I hope he doesn’t, you know, die on me or anything like that because there’d be hell to pay from the kids. And I would be a lot sadder than I’m letting on, although I have to tell you that after Bounce I made the mighty vow that I would never fully give my heart again to a companion animal.

Pope Benedict Oh my spurs, go jingle jangle jingle….
2006-09-06— Posted by: allegra

Benny, Benny. I am almost, but not entirely speechless.

He’s trying to rescuscitate all the hats ever worn by popes. So nu? A yarmulke isn’t good enough for you?

Yikes
2006-09-06— Posted by: allegra

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/british-columbia/story/2006/09/06/bc-bridge.html

Baby pic
2006-09-06— Posted by: allegra

Happy sigh. Can’t have too many baby pics. From Cousin Gerald, his “going concern” of a grandson!

Typo
2006-09-06— Posted by: allegra

Uh, that’s HANGERS, not HANGARS. I’m a beeg gurl, but I don’t need airplane parking spots for my clothes.

Heavy sigh
2006-09-06— Posted by: allegra

Janice picked me up from work, happy sigh, so I got a lift home in a convertible. We raided the fridge for supper and went for Anny’s Ice Cream after. It’s nice to eat soft ice cream that isn’t substantially bentonite clay. And you can get real Quebec poutine and Montreal smoked meat there.

However, Katie didn’t come home, because of (ow! quit kicking!) okay, I won’t say why except that it was physically non-threatening, but Paul and I are not quite knowing what to make of it all. She was on the way to school when I got hold of her this morning – and she works tonight. I really don’t think she’s going to be able to keep this up, but we shall see.

Zeek! has lost an incredible amount of weight and is at the vet’s right now. I’ll be picking him up tonight after his bloodwork. When he jumped on the bed for a cuddle this morning (and he hasn’t tried to do that for a couple of weeks) he was lighter than Kira; he’s more active than he was over the weekend, but he’s still not eating or drinking much. He doesn’t smell as funny as he did the other day. Janice says his gums are greyish and that’s not a good sign – I’m such a terrible cat owner I had no idea that was a quick diagnostic. Wish him luck. I find it really creepy that we went to visit the late lamented Bounce’s grave the same weekend Zeek! really showed signs of being unwell.

Janice donated TWO WEEKS worth of clothing to me. In the stack she brought up from Seattle there were three items I didn’t immediately scange; I literally had to pull the equivalent volume of clothing out of my closet because I don’t have sufficient hangars! So Janice (pace Alan,) went through the bye bye pile and lemme tell you, she looks WAY better in most of those clothes than I ever did. And the bye bye clothes from THAT pile go off to Value Village – whence most of them originated. So yes, Janice is taking home MUCH LESS than she brought up.And the ciiiiirrrcle of liiiiiife……

Don’t do it.
2006-09-05— Posted by: allegra

This is an extremely ephemeral link, but this story, if true, is quite hilarious. And if it isn’t true, it’s amazing that somebody thought of it.

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/rnr/203447614.html

So if the link is gone, I’ll condense down the moral as: “Don’t cosmetically bleach your anus.” I mean, until today I didn’t even know that it was possible!!! I heart Craigslist.

various
2006-09-05— Posted by: allegra

I heard yesterday what had some people so choked about the Hugo Awards; apparently Harlan Ellison groped Connie Willis ON STAGE. Now that he is a dirty little old man, I guess the charm of this situation did not sufficiently impress itself upon Connie, who, behaving like an adult and sacrificing her immediate rights of requital in this matter (Boot to the Head!) kept On with the Show.

Harlan has written and done many things for women’s rights, but it’s amazing how you can founder a reputation on a little piece of sophomoronic fun. Shame, Harlan.

Dr. Filk is home from his travels. He made Edmonton in one day on Thursday; that’s 1200 kilometers on a bike. Better his ass than mine, I guess.

Paul and I went to the Puddle yesterday and I asked the fitness instructor on duty for L5S1 exercises and she said, do this and do this, and I did so, and all the sensation came back into my foot for about five minutes. I’m a little sore today but pretty chipper.

Janice is coming up for a week and I am so looking forward to seeing her.

Alan took Brooke to Archie McPhee over the weekend… Uh, just in case I haven’t posted the link before… www.mcphee.com. Oh look! They’ve just come out with glow-in-the-dark Office Zombies! Let’s just say there’s a gift in there for somebody YOU love, and it’s an evil evil place.

I light a candle for the Canadian and American firefighters of the Tatoosh and Tripod complex fires.

ID Theft makes Toronto Man Lose House SCARY. Sandy, read this article….

Companion animals
2006-09-04— Posted by: allegra

If you don’t like cats, skip to the end of this blog.

Zeek! (the exclamation point is part of his name, I don’t know why, it was a condition of my getting custody of him that I maintain the exclamation point) has been very off color for the last couple of days. Anybody who has ever met him knows that he is a) noisy b) greedy & c) gregarious. As I have said many times, he is a teenaged boy, lamentably trapped in a neutered cat’s body.

For the last few days he has been a) quiet b) eating perhaps 20% of his normal daily intake and c) hiding under the sofa I got from Granny. (The local equivalent of the Charmed Couch of Morpheus).

I am pleased to report that as of this morning he was much noisier and ate almost all of his breakfast and deigned to be picked up for a quick cuddle. That’s a good thing, because otherwise Paul and I were going to take him to the vet emergency room today – Labor Day, how charming – and we were hopping from one foot to the other while considering the expense. We will be taking him to the regular vet for bloodwork later this week, as obviously he may be a lot sicker than he looks. Katie’s immediate reaction was to try to feed him some black forest ham, which he refused, which freaked her out so badly she lay on the floor cooing over him and trying to get him to come out from under the couch.

He doesn’t have any obvious lumps or sore spots. I suspect some kind of infection.

Last night Keith got a message from a friend to act as back up in a situation possibly requiring judicious amounts of force. By the time he got home from The Illusionist the situation had resolved itself and he bitterly commented that he missed out on some excitement. I was too tired to comment at that point (I have to be plenty tired not to talk, as those who know me well know well) but I recollect thinking that if he’s looking for a scrap he can go to Gastown when the bars close and that should feed his monkey for months (as he recovers in hospital). Paul should be home from work in about half an hour…. I should prob’ly wash some dishes, or something domestic and icky like that.

Horses and dogs
2006-09-03— Posted by: allegra

This picture scanged from the BBC website, via Fark, no credit for the photo. This is the second horseriding dog pic I’ve posted. If you want to see the other one, check the archives (18th July 2005).

This little piggy
2006-09-03— Posted by: allegra

http://www.heartsonnoses.com/

This link is for me mum. Unless you are fabulously into pigs (and rilly rilly bad spelling and grammer) give this one a pass.

Delayed reaction from the camping trip
2006-09-03— Posted by: allegra

Re Delayed reaction from the camping trip:

Sometimes you have to wait a while for all the feelings to resolve, and all the thoughts to coalesce (I can hear Dr Filk saying, “Don’t hold your breath, Chuckles!”) before you can pin down the defining moment. In this case, it was Jerome, beer in hand, turning to me and in accents of utmost horror, saying, “You’ve never HEARD the Hockey Song?” (by Stompin Tom Connors).

“Uh, no.” I have no idea how I ended up being a white Canadian and making it to an age not unadjacent to 50 without hearing it, but yes, it was true.

And so my defining memory of the camping trip is looking at Jerome, singing along to the Ipod to the twinkling lights of Nanaimo.

Flash for’ard a couple of days, and there’s me, looking up the lyrics, for I am a compulsive woman, and I find out that AVRIL LAVIGNE has covered that song. I love my country. Thanks Jerome.

Catching up.
2006-09-03— Posted by: allegra

I had the pleasure of receiving a long, finely crafted and extremely hilarious email from Kevin D, with whom I haven’t spoken in lo these many years; it contained, among other things, a very amusing anecdote about Robin Williams. Very apropos, given that Keith seems inclined to Memorize the Entire Spoken Part of Robin Williams Live on Broadway.

He came through the back door last night and made very happy noises about the Cobb’s bread, and I told him to thank his pop, it was Paul’s idea.

Looping back to comedy, Margaret Cho’s in town this month. It’s probably sold out but I’m going to talk to Paul and see if he’s free that night.

Quel horreur! Quhat follie be this???? Lord Tubby of Crashedharbor and Breasty Babs FORCED by cruellll fate and the American judishiary to live on 25K a month? Each? American, I hasten to add. Guess you’re gonna have to cut back on the live flower delivery, Babs, but I don’t know what Tubby’s going to do about the customized Depends order.

Tex Ritter’s birth name was Maurice, although he WAS born in Texas. Okay, Kevin, you’re so smart… what’s the popcultref?

The word TRIP in Wikipedia does NOT contain a stub for Guilt Trip. This is an outrage. Why, if I wasn’t so busy, I’d write it myself, but really, the only person who could write it would either have to be Jewish or my workmate’s mom.

Hot Tub Mike and I finally communicated by phone. He’s liking the new job, finding it a challenge, and then the learning curve starts all over again as he’s at SFU finishing up his MBA starting later this month. Little dance of joy. Tori is doing famously; I didn’t get to talk to her because she was still at work.

I went from zero to green beans, corn and grilled chops in exactly 30 minutes last night. It was good to sit on the back deck with Katie and Paul and eat it.

Katie got dressed up last night because she thought she was going to PoCo to hang with friends. Then the guy she was going to meet said, “Well, it will be really boring. I’ll call you back when I’m drunk.” Te he. Needless to say, Katie thought this brushoff one of the worst ever (okay, Adrian’s only 16 and obviously he’s clueless even when he hasn’t been drinking) and promptly arranged to hang with Jessica D. Big big sigh from parental units. She’s back in her own bed, happy sigh, and I won’t wake her until she emerges, mouldiewarp-wise, from her bed.

Keith asked for more hours at work, and appears to have received them. That’s easy around a long weekend; let’s see what happens when it isn’t.

Dr Filk is off visiting rellies in Alberta, on his motorbike. The joint just isn’t the same without him. Is it the noise? Is it the smell? (Not him personally, his cooking is quite different from ours and usually smells purty good). Is it the sound of him tooling up on the Beemer, which allows me to think “All my peeps are home, I can sleep now”? Is it the way he prefaces his (un)reasonable demands with, “Dear, kindly, sweet, GENerous sister-in-common-law”? It is all of these things and more… he is a dear lad, and I miss him. He’ll be back in a couple of days.

Pic is of Descanso Park on Gabriola, taken through one of the many interesting rock formations on the beaches there.

Small farmer’s story
2006-09-02— Posted by: allegra

http://www.acresusa.com/toolbox/reprints/Salatin_Sept03.pdf

Forgive the spelling and get the message.

Anagrams
2006-09-02— Posted by: allegra

My name has 66 pages, three columns per page, of anagrams. The internet is a bad place for people seeking displacement activities. Why, I started hitting Random Page in Wikipedia the other day and didn’t come back to ‘reality’ for about 2 hours. In my other inertnet travels I’ve run across this: http://wordsmith.org/anagram/

Think, oh people, of a name which anagrams to Salmonella Rag (my nom de guerre for the songs I’m not so proud of), and contains both ale and lager (although not at the same time).
A manager lolls!
Re: a mall slogan.
Ma, roll lasagne!
Amoral gal lens.
Galleon alarms.
Alas, legal norm!
Oral angel alms.
Groan, small ale.

Anyway, you get the idea. Pages and pages and pages. When I write my biography, each chapter is going to be an anagram of my name.
No llama lagers.
Ow. Make it stop.

The age old question
2006-09-01— Posted by: allegra

Pic credit AP, a perfect depiction of the age old question.

Katie got home before Paul left last night so we all had a nice long chat. She’s hoping to work full time and go to school full time and this will be possible because she has sworn off men for a year. Now, all together!!! Adopt that stern expression adults wear when children say something completely nonsensical, but the adults dare not laugh in their shiny-clean faces.

Let’s just say that she’s got a killer regimen planned, and she’s going to want some days off in there, and what happens if she gets sick? I await developments with the interest of somebody who has a clear but not vital interest.

Somebody, I suspect Paul, brought carob chips into the house. They are disgusting! I suspect some other people found them so too because they left them to melt in the sink and somebody – wish I knew who – dropped some onto the floor where I promptly ground them into one of the kitchen rugs. Grr.

Oh, grEAT! Now I can hear cats defooding in the downstairs hall. And I’m getting migraine twinklies. Oh well, another 10 hours or so and I can get back to the job of collapsing for three days straight.

Brother James went mano a mano with his manager in a day long sales and call volume smackdown, and I’m not going to post the stats out of respect for his manager, but it was:

a slaughter

a shellacking

a righteous drubbing

massacre-wise, a success

a hollicking great smiting

rather one sided

lacking drama

an asskicking of capital proportions

and a decisive victory for James. And he won fifty bucks, don’t forget that.

A great religious quote
2006-08-31— Posted by: allegra

Quote is from Helmut Theilike

The Gospel must be constantly forwarded to a new address, because the recipient repeatedly changes residences.