pOp will likely burst out laughing

These two pictures were taken 20 seconds apart using exactly the same preset camera defaults.


when people look a certain way, or don’t look a certain way, remember that even without makeup, you can do amazing things to how people look


white woman looking fraught
Tis an ogre, captured upon the trail cam

who let that cat in here?

a fluffy orange and white cat rests upon a beige and orange carpet
Cheerful Allegra scorns all notion that I could be feeling dreadful in the middle of a pandemic

cassandra busts a move

I haven’t said much about the revolutionary actions taking place at the moment because nobody asked me to. However: I support the protesters, I abhor the actions of the people firing into crowds of protesters, acab, brace for disproportionate reprisal actions across the US… and two generations of social justice actors picked off by coronavirus in jail when they’ve been rounded up on literally trumped-up charges. Crucial to keep an eye on specific actors and try to prevent them from ‘disappearing’. By the fascism playbook, that’s next.

and Black and Indigenous activists are coldly aware that disappearances are ongoing from colonialism and liberalism.

shlepping trip

I am very happy that I’m home, but it’s also lovely to have FOOOOOOODICLES and treeeeeeaaaticles.

Walmart was a ghastly ordeal but I didn’t have another place to go for the stuff I needed.

My Vancouver Aquarium masks arrived (including one for Alex) but paypal refunded my money. I’ve now sent two emails to the address associated with the purchase but Pauline, whoever the fuck she is or isn’t, was only prepared to give me a website address WITH NO CUSTOMER SERVICE EMAIL.



Kima pulls a flailie down Denman St

Supposedly a rendering of two neutron stars colliding but I have no idea and ten minutes looking for the provenance of this image proved fruitless NO I LIE IT’S FROM https://www.upi.com/Science_News/2020/05/21/Gravitational-waves-can-help-scientists-study-neutron-stars/9601590060272/?upi_ss=neutron

Check out this incredible Rube Goldberg machine WITH BIRDSONG

simply glorious day

Paul, Jeff and I walked in Robert Burnaby Park; I collected trash (wrappers and butts mostly) and fogged up my shield.

picked up sushi for lunch and then Keith made vodka Caesars for the boys & we had a socially distant meal on the back deck. Keith seemed in quite good spirits and owned as how he’d like to go back to school when all this is over.

later in the day Mike came over and gave me food and I gave him a shield and we hung around and talked on the back deck – he walked over, and it was just so pleasant to hang around and listen to the menfolks quietly talk

Jeff and Buster on the back deck yesterday
Mike and Buster on the back deck yesterday

poem- stop and start

find feeling and follow
the words, a parallel furrow
dug into the body
not to wound but to attest
that this event has meaning
drawn beyond the geophysics
marks my marrow
||interpret these lines||

poems about motherhood
and hardly any about
how it is an alien occupation
shifting tissue into your brain

yes, truly, I am centred in my frame

/mark these deletions
they are where I was brute
and woman
no one wants it/

trust the body
connect this breath to that word
and make that spider thread
a braid of wonder

as good a day as

at 5 am I walked the face shields over to Planet Bachelor and briefly saw our grandson (Paul got up to take a leak while I was there staggering across the eye like a zombie in the background, grunting at my greeting) and Katie, who gave me the joy of her company for a brief moment, and a lift home. Raining off and on all day.

Around 10 am Jeff and I trekked out and committed 6 WHOLE ERRANDS – me in medical mask and face shield, Jeff in his homemade mask; Shoppers Drug Mart, The eyecare place, Kin’s Farm Market, the bank machine in the Colonial City Mall, gas and treats at the 7-11. We parted ways to increase efficiency and achieved our goals in very smart order, retreating to the joys of Time Team and New Tricks, among other TV offerings, and things like laundry and dishes and making a lovely fresh salad and bringing new guys up to speed on the old server, for the rest of day. Cold chicken sliced over salad with a side of fresh corn on the cob for dinner.

It was a productive day, and the anxiety level in the house is way down.

I know that it is ludicrous that I feel safer walking around with a facemask but I really do. I’m shedding 95 percent less crap when I do, and I’m definitely less of a danger to the people around me, even if they look appalled and give me a wide berth as I pass. I’m going to double up whenever I go out now.

Miss Margot with a flicker feather in her fur

pots a boiling / listing

another bad mental health day yesterday, but Peggy, despite her gammy knee, dropped by with pie and after Jeff and I LITERALLY DEVOURED IT STRAIGHT OUT OF THE CONTAINER, we used forks thank god, he said is there more like I had hidden some (where? in my ass crack?) and I said alas no, because that strawberry rhubarb pie was among the best I ever et.

Xeni Jardin on twitter, May 23 2020

I learned during cancer that it is important to be mindful of the possibility that these might be the normal good old days. There is no guarantee of relief or a happy outcome. None whatsoever. Paradoxically, through practicing acceptance of this truth, I finally found peace.

I’m trying to combat the listlessness with lists. I’m listing to the left on this one. Listerine is not on the list. Allistics are not on the list (just in case you don’t know, this is non-autistic people when autistic people are talking about them and Jeff you were looking for this word the other day as I recall.) Calisthenics are definitely on the list – in fact I can Zoom in to my former exercise classes, if I used Zoom, which I don’t – Skype is my limit on that shit. I quit Skype. It’s listenable but they took on a right wing air hog in a multi million dollar deal so I delisted them from my credit card expenses. A klister is NOT on the list. Becoming a phallist is not on the list… I mean, I’m a fan, but not a stan, if you know what I mean. Should I put being a homilist on the list? I asked twitter to give me hints for writing a new homily as a writing prompt. I paid to go virtually to WisCON and didn’t even watch a panellist. I could stand to see a decent cemballist, but finding one that’s a decent stylist might be difficult, especially if they’re an atonalist. Am I emblematic as a personalist? I could be, if I wasn’t also being such a damned diabolist.  I can’t keep walking through each day like a somnambulist.