slow day

All I want to do is sleep, watch tv and eat junk food. I think my pandemic grief is acting up. My mood has been terrible, even though Paul has been dragging me out of the house for walkies.  I’ve been trying to write and I know what’s coming next but I have no urge. I’m thinking dark thoughts. Tomorrow will likely be different.

The chicken and ginger congee that Mike made for me is so damned good – Paul got a meal out of it today as well. Gorgeous day, windy and sunny and cloudy by turns, and warm, the way most of February really was not.

what makes it work

When did I ever think that it would ever be easy
When did I ever dream that it would ever be easy
And the older that I get, the harder it becomes
to do the things I should, to do the things I must
And I will push along, now that I know that I have to
And I will move along, now that I know that I should
You are part of why I keep trying to be better
You are a lot of why I decide to stay here

And that’s because of how much
I really love and respect you
And that’s because of how much
I really love and respect you

for Jeff Sept 8 2009

takes 15 seconds to log in to this site

It’s really quite irritating.

Anyway, thanks to a strange Forcemeld, Paul was actually HERE yesterday to watch with us when SN10 stuck the landing (and caught fire, but the mission was a complete success). I am not a fan of Elon Musk, but that was nifty.

r/pics - Keanu Reeves wearing a skirt in the 80s.

Is there anything Keanu Reeves can’t/couldn’t do.

Best Roommate in the World is now 24K words, I’ve been sending updates to mOm every day.

Possibly the best science of the day. When that link is gone, check here. When I’m talking to my pOp I always assume that he wants to get off the phone way, way way way earlier than me. When I’m talking to my mOm we generally talk until one of us needs the bathroom. what a life…


Dandelions dreaming


The international symbol of filking (well, Kathy Mar’s, lol) is the dandelion. I wrote this after John died, so it is in part in remembrance of him.

Blow you winter winds
blow where you please
hang your icy bunting
on the barren trees
decorate the windows
with capricious lace
send your storm clouds flying
cross the lunar face

Dandelions dreaming
underneath their banks of snow
Soon they will be blooming
Soon enough the seeds will blow

Blow you winter winds
gales and chills
howl around the hollows
echo through the hills
Bringing snow and fog
bringing ice and rain
A moment of the sun
then all is dark again.

Blow you winter winds
blow where you will
Now my spirit feels
oh so small and still
Soon we’ll close the door
on your bleak refrain
For we will rejoice
and we will sing again

Blow you winter winds
mark my skin
Soon I will be warm
with my loves and kin
Two foot and four foot
All will be within
There’s a roaring fire
at the Dandelion Inn

Dandelions dreaming
underneath their banks of snow
Soon they will be blooming
and soon enough the seeds will blow

my comment today on racism

a racist says I haven’t got a racist bone in my body and then drags tf out of Meghan Markle and I’m like “Remarkable how racists center racism as occurring in bones when it occurs in brains and behaviour. I wish they’d leave bones out of it, skeletons aren’t racist.”

In other news, my right knee is GIBBLED. I went for a walk with Paul yesterday. Picked up BBQ at Re-Up in the Quay, but it was a long wait for the food and they got the order wrong so I probably won’t do that again. Paul seems to be in pretty good shape, he was joking a lot.

Spoke briefly to Katie. I bought some silicone chewies for Alex, they should come the middle of March. They are in the shape of Creepers in Minecraft. Kids with anxiety can chew on them, instead of themselves; Alex is already chewing on bits of himself so externalizing it without hurting his teeth is kind of the background for this purchase.

Spoke briefly to Keith, he was in the middle of a gaming session with Katie’s Bf Mike.

Spoke briefly to my Mike, gave him soup after he said my last soup delivery saved his soul alive.

Walked at the Quay – saw a seal. Didn’t walk the whole distance because my knee crapped out and when I woke up this morning I flexed it and PAIN PAIN PAIN wowzers.

didn’t do a damned thing on my projects. Maybe today will be better.

Lungs and schnozz congested. I am so fracking tired of how every little tickle is IS IT THE LURGY am i GONNA DIE am i gonna KETCH IT two MINUTES BEFORE the freaking JAB IS AVAILABLE




She, that instant and immortal she
always standing where you want to be
she moves the backdrop falls away
the pleasure centre yells hooray
she’s a blip on your detector
a bogey on your scope
she’s coming for you
how will you ever cope
you can’t drown her in alcohol
or dodge her with dope
you better learn to pray now
it’s your only hope

She that anchor in a rolling sea
redefines this brief reality
The waves may crash the wind may roar
and all you’ll ever want is more, more, more
she’s a blip on your detector
a bogey on your scope
she’s coming for you
how will you ever cope
You’re standing on a cliff edge and
you just ran out of rope
you better learn to pray now
it’s your only hope


Wrote this in Montréal. Although it’s just a midi piano line here, try to imagine it as arena rock, because that’s how I hear it.

a possible tombstone

AW, RIGHT I actually am being fried (CREMATED) for my deathday, so nope, but here ya go anyway.


Jeff took me to Micky D’s this morning; ahhhhh coffee.

Now on deathwatch for Prince Phillip.

Happy belated birthday Tammy!

Letter off to Dave D this morning.

Lots more work on Bih-bah. Doot errungk! = no problem (literally: no blockage)

early catbus design – a Scythian king’s armrest.

nekobus! :) | Studio ghibli tattoo, Cat bus totoro, Totoro art



Live at GAFilk – Dishing with Joyce


You think I haven’t got a clue
I’m telling you it’s no small task
to be the Slayer’s single mom
well how hard can it be
I’m glad you asked
She’s constantly in trouble
and spoiling for a fight
but if my girl’s out kicking demon ass
I guess the world will be all right

I tell her get your homework in on time
try hard to be home by nine
if I ask how you are, say ‘Fine!
I just saved the world, again!’

I’ve been assaulted and enchanted
I take hellmouth stuff in stride
and you may think that I’m demented
but parenting’s a way more scary ride
I want her to be happy
I want her to be good
But here in Sunnydale we’re just not living
in that kind of neighborhood

I tell her get your homework in on time
try hard to be home by nine
if I ask how you are, say ‘Fine!
I just saved the world, again!’

It wasn’t all disastrous, there were moments I quite like
I get all misty-eyed about the time I clobbered Spike

Well every season brings a change
the scoobies fight a new ‘big bad’
and rabid fans won’t think it’s strange
if you won’t watch ‘the body’ ’cause it’s sad
(aside Legit the saddest episode in tv history up until that point)
It’s all about the teamwork
it’s all about fair play
so I’d appreciate if you’d not talk about
my fling with Giles today

I tell her get your homework in on time
try hard to be home by nine
if I ask how you are, say ‘Fine!
I just saved the world, again! I just saved
the whole damned shiny Whedonverse again”

spoken That’s my girl


Fucking mandolin would not stay in tune because I took Blind Lemming’s advice and loosed the strings before travel (i love the hoomin and I’d take a bullet for him but I’m still pissed about that) and then THE FUCKING BRIDGE MOVED and I couldn’t get it set properly and I then made my handler drive all over Atlanta in the rain finding me new strings and Christ it was stressful. If I don’t sound stressed that’s a miracle. Sorry about the tag into the next song on the end, I can’t be arsed to fix it.

It’s just so Nice When Someone Knows your Name / single verse

Technically this is a Brooke Abbey song, but I messed with it two ways; I added a verse, which you can hear, here, and I made it PSYCHOBILLY, so it’s keyed differently and about 40 beats a minute faster. So I don’t feel bad about extracting a single verse from my live performance at GAFilk (which alas Brooke was not able to attend because the poor hoomin was migraineing almost the whole weekend) and reproducing it for you. Also I asked him if I could do it.

I’d like to get caught doing something on CCTV
which then breaks to the Internet dispersing virally
I would be world famous, be global entertainment
but sadly notoriety does not come with much payment
and it’s just so nice when someone knows your name!
Your inbox it is always full but you are not EMPLOYABLE
man it’s so nice when someone knows your name!

Good morning mOm

Check out the masks that Jan made with your fabric that I sent her!!!

VERY SOGGY and abbreviated walk at Oakalla yesterday. Brought Paul back here for Ciabatta/pulled pork and tea.  The snow was all slush. No otters. Towhees though.

Paul wanted to make sure that you knew mOm, that we were walking out of the park, and talking about you, and just as we did so a pterodactyl (Dryocopus pileatus) called to my right, and its mate called from the other side of the woods, to Paul’s left. We both burst out laughing at the idea that you and p0p got represented for our walk… and as I say, Paul was adamant that I advise you.

Coming up to a romantic and emotional writing session but I’ve been working on it for about a week now in the background (thinkita thinkita). I am trying to write it without using ‘love’ or ownership words which is going to be brutally hard, but I hope to manage.

Radam Ridwan’s message on instagram this morning about beach bodies and fatphobia GIVETH ME LIFE. I love them so.

Learned this morning that a NYC police officer assaulted one of the Capitol police on Jan 6. You know that what we’re looking at is a civil war; it hasn’t been declared, but there are 500K in the ground already.

This starfish, snapped by @figureoutthesea on Insta, appears to be saying ‘fuck you!’ to the juvenile glaucous winged gull.