Jesus is coming. Or not.

You know how I said that Jesus is late for his appointment???  Personally I think he’s a no show.  The Kingdom of God and the Immanence of Christ are right here, right now.  You may call it something else, but you can’t wait for Jesus; he’s already here.  That’s why I always thought the Rapture was bad theology; it’s just an excuse to sit on your ass (among many, I have my own excuses and I don’t need yours) while the poor suffer.

Now we know why Jesus is late!

When he finally makes it past the abortionist’s curette, the Christians will claim this is his second visit, and the Jews will get all stabby because they will say this is the first time he came to the party.  The Muslims won’t take any proof that either group offers, even as Messiah chews through Jerusalem like Taz on crystal meth (remember he promised us a sword… when he bails on the Temple and starts pulling prostitutes out of their cribs and healing their AIDS, and then publicly blasting the rabbis for their lack of care of the poor, what a glad day that will be!!!)  And Isa PBUH (Jesus, Yeshuah) is a Messiah for Muslims, he’s just not the son of God, just to make it even more confusing.  Crazy times.

The essentials of messianic thought in Judaism. Ganked from Wikipedia, sorry.

Belief in the eventual coming of the moshiach…is part of the minimum requirements of Jewish belief. In the Shemoneh Esrei prayer, recited three times daily, we pray for all of the elements of the coming of the moshiach: ingathering of the exiles;

*ed note… Bonnie, Alan, are you guys going to live in Israel soon? If you can hold off, I’d like that.

restoration of the religious courts of justice;

*ed note. Bleaugh.  Because, you know, justice for women and children sucks SO BAD.

an end of wickedness, sin and heresy;

*ed note; right about then I started breathing again, because at this rate the Messiah can only return in the middle of a wasteland, the rest of us having croaked.

reward to the righteous;

*dunno what that means, but it sounds good

rebuilding of Jerusalem;

*urban renewal as a religious prescription?  Kewl.

restoration of the line of King David;

*Read King Jesus on that topic, yes indeedy.

and restoration of Temple service.

*once again, urban renewal mashup with religion.  And it sounds like a Tweet from translink.ca. Interesting. But with all of these restrictions, I don’t need to worry about a Jewish Messiah any time soon. After all, in the days of the Apostles, they said it would be any minute, but that just reminds me of a joke, “God is it true that to you a thousand years are like a minute and a million dollars is like a penny?”  “Yes, my child.” “Can I have a penny?”  “Just a minute.”

Ah, religion!  My fave.

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Allegra

Born when atmospheric carbon was 316 PPM. Settled on MST country since 1997. Parent, grandparent.

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