It’s 10:18 and I have 20 minutes to write a list of 100 things to do with a manta ray skin

  1. Cat armour.  This was obvious, but not, alas, to my cat.
  2. A decorative gauntlet.
  3. Wrap it round a ceremonial pole
  4. A portion of a warlords personal banner
  5. Use it as a frame for a touch up mirror in a club.
  6. Cut it into strips and use in hatmaking.
  7. Ditto jewelery.
  8. Ditto applique for sweaters
  9. Ditto coat lapels or pocket trim.
  10. Turn off all the lights and shine multicolour LED lighting displays on it.
  11. Cut out a skull shape and put it on your mailbox
  12. Make cat collars out of them.
  13. Roll ink over it and press it out to see what the pattern looked like.
  14. Break an egg over it and take a picture of it.
  15. Nail it to the bottom of a table for no reason.
  16. Take pictures of it everywhere you go and talk to it like it was sentient.
  17. Turn it into Gor girl nip covers.
  18. Make a bondage habitat for hamsters.
  19. Make a bandanna for Aku Aku with it.
  20. Deck out a Harley with it.
  21. Ask your lawyer what to do about it.
  22. Tie it to your car aerial.
  23. Glue it to the underside of the glass table where your brother won’t see it until he moves some papers and which will freak the fuck out of him.
  24. Paint Dali’s signature on it and call it done.
  25. Put it on the altar at church.
  26. Get fresh with it.
  27. Put it up to your ear to see if you can hear the ocean,
  28. Ask it for forgiveness.
  29. Blow your nose with it.
  30. Run the eyes through the belt for a creepy gothic vibe.
  31. Cut carefully into gear shapes.
  32. Use in a multimedia collage.
  33. Make a fob for a cell phone.
  34. Make a wallet for a tarot deck.
  35. Eat it.
  36. Make hair decorations from it.
  37. Glue pieces of it to your nails.
  38. Repair a broken relationship with it.
  39. Make a video about its relationship with a rabbit skin and the crazy stuff those kids get up to.
  40. Greet proseletizers at the door wearing it as a thong.
  41. Masks for Mardi Gras.
  42. Dracula style decor.
  43. Use it as a mold for alien skin patterns for effects.
  44. Carve a crow’s head and decorate it with that.
  45. A breastplate.
  46. A crest, mixed with feathers.
  47. Set dec for Lego figures.
  48. Or Robot Chicken.  I would like that.
  49. A cape for baby Cthulhu.
  50. Thrones for evil geckos.
  51. Bathroom tiling for queen bees.
  52. Doll house I don’t know what but it would kick ass.
  53. Fill it full of catnip and give it to a cougar.
  54. Dog toy.
  55. Harness decoration for a draft animal, perhaps a reindeer.
  56. Decoration for a magical item used in a shamanic ritual, possibly involving the appearance of something unlikely and untoward.
  57. Mac cover.
  58. World’s wackiest Book of Hours cover.
  59. Give it to a real designer and let her figure it out.
  60. Corset decoration.
  61. A habitat for a pseudoscorpion (suitably closed off).
  62. Something for the costume of the Black Swan.
  63. Find out what its resonant frequency is.
  64. Use it to drive the decision to find out about the  trade that brought it through your door.
  65. Ditto about the habits of the creature.
  66. Ditto a consideration about the ways of the manta.
  67. Open up a case file on it.
  68. Bring it to the office so other people can admire it.
  69. Cry on it and see if it splashes strangely.
  70. Gently run it over your nose.
  71. Go to Stephen Harper and ask him for his opinion.
  72. Examine it under microscopy and spectroscopy,
  73. Determine its resistance.
  74. Watch Spinal Tap with it.
  75. Take it cloudwatching.
  76. Carefully weigh and measure it.  Weigh it and measure it every day for the rest of your life.
  77. Fling it from the observation tower of a building.
  78. Swim across Sasamat Lake with it in your mouth.
  79. Cut out the words Unbelievable and applique them to a jacket you normally wear to work.
  80. Then wear it to a funeral.
  81. Try to wear it inappropriately as much as possible.
  82. Toy with it on stage while doing standup.  Oh, right; that’s prop comedy. fuck all yall
  83. Take a high def photo of it and post it as your background on your work desktop.
  84. Sew it to a silk cloth, frame it and sell it to a restaurant.
  85. Make a native loincloth out of it for a movie.  That you make mostly in your bathtub.  While running a temperature of 103.
  86. Use it as an opening gambit in a mating dance.

As you can see it took me until 10:59 to come up with 86 but somehow I don’t mind.



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Born when atmospheric carbon was 316 PPM. Settled on MST country since 1997. Parent, grandparent.

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