Category: Uncategorized

Coming up on five years of blogging.  I lost the first three months so everything starts in August, but I really started in late April five years ago.  We are also coming up on the 1st anniversary of John’s death.

I cried so much yesterday.  Paul has tried and tried, and called and called, but it looks like the woman whose negligence caused John’s death will never be brought to trial.  Please contact Paul directly if you want to do something to help.  I feel very angry (not at Paul, at the hopelessly fucked up situation) – and guilty, and sad.  Not a good combination for keeping on a straight head and getting through stuff.

For therapy I’m writing the woman a letter.

Church meeting tonight after supper.  Pretty soon I’ll have my own car and won’t have to borrow Jeff’s.

I lazed and loafed, but I also bought a car and got the paperwork together to get my domain registration sorted out.  (Jeff is a fantastic webmaster, but I still have to prove to the registrar that I Yam Who I Yam, and Jeff balks at impersonation.)  I also went for a walk at the Quay and down in Robert Burnaby Park, including visiting Dinosaur Rock.  I made spare ribs and organic fingerling potatoes for dinner. Singing with the folks was just me and the founder of the group – I think we need burnabites because commuting 45 minutes for rehearsal (like the two women who jammed) is just rude.  She’s going to put out another call for singers so if you are a female singer in Burnaby come on down.  Anyway, we worked our way through Orphan Girl and Bird on a Wire and in general had a good time and yakked.

It was SO good to get out into the sun.  Jeff came out on the walk with us yesterday and then he and Keith worked their way through the back catalogue of games.  Every time I went downstairs they were playing something different.

Well, it won’t be the first time the Pope had to cancel a visit because the locals were having a hairy.

It’s close to the end for Gizmo but I’ll let Jeff tell the story.

I finally got over to Dr. Katz (Best Dentist in Burnaby) to get a small detail in my occlusion resurfaced; smiles all round for that.

Other than that, and that the weather is finally being cooperative, if cold,  there’s not much news.

The Tarot reading yesterday called for Temperance, more attention paid to the men in my life (family members) and church.  Atheists should be spanked for participating in such nonsense; that result could have been anything, it’s just like astrology, wonk wonk.  I found it interesting though.  This deck is pretty big on duty and hard work, may the fairies cart it away….  I may just make up my own deck.  I was sure the Chariot would turn up, with all my misgivings and weirdness about cars these days, but no.  Temperance.  Blech.

I am three verses into the composition of 40 Million Light Years and enjoying it.  Paul heard it last night and burst out laughing in all the right spots.  I suspect John would have enjoyed it too.

Disturbing William S Burroughs inflected video.

Perfectly catches my neurasthenic, self-indulgently bleak mood.

Went to the Museum of Anthropology yesterday.  Spent some time looking at the outdoor exhibits and wandering around in the weak spring sunshine which seemed to get as far as Boundary Road, but it never really got sunny in Burnaby yesterday.

I just got accused of being pseudonymous.  Colin reposted my “Parking Goddess” monograph from 1993, and one of the responses was that even though I’m googlable and have an eponymous website, that proves nothing.

That son of a bits wants me to give up blogging entirely, and I may oblige him.  What’s the point of blogging virtually every day for five years only to have some asshat not believe in your existence.  I am so mad I could spit.

From a gmail ad.

I bring both joys and concern to my virtual table of candles.  For the people of Chile and Haiti, strength for the reconstruction.  For Patricia, who will be attending a family funeral, a candle in hope that the sight of much loved faces will be of some comfort.  I light candles of thanks and praise for the folks who have been helping me along as I deal with this last bout of hormonally triggered sadness.  I light a candle for Margot, who has been a bright, if furry, spot in the overcast.  For work, a lighter heart and patience. For home, some inspiration about cooking.  I come home and stare blankly at the cupboard, which is tiresome.  For Gizmo, a peaceful journey as he prepares for the trip across the Rainbow Bridge.  For Jeff, a good trip to Victoria.

Easter is my least favourite holiday.  Easter is often a big drama for me, threats, cars dying at the side of wintry highways, getting dumped…. I light a candle for a peaceful Easter.

On the lighter side, I wants me some, if only for the bottle.

But I’m still alive, which is nice, at least for me.

Funny about the moral compass. I don’t need fancy equipment to bend mine, just beer.

Keith went to Karate last night.  Yay!

Cause he’s dead.  The fun, the good, the wise, the sensational.  They all go young.

This is kind of jamming two things together.  After a lot of days of being sludgy and unsociable, I got out to no fewer than four social / hobby outings this weekend, not counting church, which I skipped.  After I got back from lunch, Jerome called and I went to see him and the babby (Braden) who is a busy boy.  Shannon was out so it was just the two of them.  We got in a walk and a lot of playing with Braden, who is just at the stage where the pushing backwards crawl converts to the marine crawl, and it was SO good to see both of them.  So much blonde hair, such big bright blue eyes on the little one.  He decided not to ‘like’ me, but he was okay with me; I let him completely wake up from his nap before I started holding him, and anytime I was holding him I made sure he could see his papa.  Chill Monkeys, look out!  I’ve got a lad to be spending money on now.

Then I went out to the first REAL rehearsal of Orange You Glad, the all women mostly a capella group (I got to be the guitarist, which tells you all you need to know about the instrumental skill level) and myself, Angel, Candace and Jessica worked our way through Ring of Fire, Bird on a Wire, Orphan Girl and a lot of laughs.

Then I came home, thought about putting away my laundry and collapsed in front of a S3 BSG instead.  Tahmoh Penikett is one of the nicest looking men who ever lived.  His jaw is so VERY square cut, and his frame so very, uh, masculine.

Hydrogen harvesting.

Last night I got to sing and play with Cindy (all three kids in tow), Tom and Peggy.  I prepped the salad but everything else hit the table without my assistance.  Paul turned up but he had to leave to work; he stood patiently by the barbecue and got food happening but didn’t really have a chance to interact much. Laura from church was there for a meeting when I got there and I told her about the overgrown adventure playground at the SFU campus and now I’m trying to figure out how to mark up a map for her.

It was a lovely evening and Cindy gave me a ride home at some ridiculous hour.  Now I am going to stir my stumps and get to church.

Cindy’s son has a beautiful new ukelele.