Month: February 2006

Hate it when that happens
2006-02-28— Posted by: allegra

As much as I like to believe that I am remarkable, my bladder is apparently not. Which is good news, really, when you think about it. Apart from a gentle stinging amidships, I am entirely fine. So, all these tests (CT skull scan, heart scan, CT abdo scan) over the last three years, and every one shows that there’s nothing wrong with me. Question… isn’t there a pill for that?

Whatever you do, DON’T imageGoogle cystoscopy. Yumpin Yiminy. I wanted to post something, but I am not thinking this is a good idea any more.

No pigs in ages
2006-02-28— Posted by: allegra

I haven’t posted a pig picture in ages. This comes from the Cleveland Police Department, and brought a smile to my nervous lips.

Wish me luck for the cystoscopy.

Flying Lions
2006-02-28— Posted by: allegra

Cousin Gerald sent me this. I think you actually have to know something about flying to understand how freaking hard this is to do for one guy, let alone four; suffice it to say that if somebody screws up, he’ll turn turtle and possibly wipe out somebody else. Trust is a lovely thing. Website is http://www.flyinglions.co.za/.

Gravity shifted?
2006-02-27— Posted by: allegra

Gwyneth Jones’ book Life is wonderful, read it.

Octavia Butler died at home over the Potlatch weekend. RIP.

Here’s another pic from the ice storm in Ottawa.

as promised
2006-02-26— Posted by: allegra

enough sleep
2006-02-26— Posted by: allegra

Attended a scotch tasting in Jack B’s room last night; the place was like an English bus by the time we were done, and we worked our way through the Highlands, the Lowlands, the Islays and at least one from the Shetlands.

I dropped out after two because I was driving. Talisker is my fave currently; the comments about the Laphroaig are still ringing in my ears. “So what DOES it taste like? Petroleum waste run through a bog? It really is quite remarkable!” but of course Alan said the 15 year old is much better.

Bob the cat, shown previously, was set upon by two huskies on Friday, but a trip to the vet emerg proved that he has a stretched or torn ligament and not too much else wrong. He’s now standing at the cat door wondering why the hell Alan won’t let him out. Short memory, bud! Big Dogs, Bite Your Shoulder? Does that ring a bell?

Shortly we will join Hank (he of the Best Explosion Story EVAH mentioned previously) and other good fen and true for a Dim Sum blowout downtown.

Then we will make one last cruise through the dealer room.

I got three whole questions in the trivia open house last night. INCLUDING being the first person to recognize the opening line of 20,000 Leagues under the Sea; am I not a good pretty bird!? Squawk.

Mum and pOp you would have enjoyed the auction; signed Leguins, a copy of a letter Heinlein wrote to Niven about the Mote in God’s Eye ms which resulted in a much better book; an typewritten outtake from Stars in my Pocket Like Grains of Sand; and CTHULHU SLIPPERS. I go finding pic and posting, my Old One, they were cute. Bill H. bid so much for them I couldn’t get them for you pOp.

Oh and somebody tell Keith that a famous science fiction writer yelled, when the complete works of Patrick O’Brien were at auction, “Don’t forget they contain the words, “JACK you have debauched my sloth!”” Stu S sighed and said, “I want that on a T-shirt.”

Evil Grin. He may get his wish.

Here in Seattle
2006-02-26— Posted by: allegra

It is still actually February 25th here, whatever it says on the site.

pointillistically….

Wonderful Greek meal, wonderful local beers, fabulous company here at Potlatch, which is a literary sf convention. There’s a guy here, Art, who was at the first SF Worldcon! Published authors I have read are knitting in the audience! Why aren’t my parents here?

Sign outside Seattle Center….THE DAY OF THE ACCORDION….Free.

Well, it would have to be now wouldn’t it?

Keith had to work in a costume today. He enjoyed it.

I bought another Freddie Baer shirt and two B5 tees for the kids. My free wireless from the consuite is about to vanish, so by for now.

went home early
2006-02-24— Posted by: allegra

Left work at 2:45 yesterday feeling like re-animated scrap. Crashed. Got up and ate dinner. Re-crashed. I think Paul gets to drive to Seattle tonight….

My eyes hurt.

enough sleep
2006-02-23— Posted by: allegra

Went to bed early again in the hopes that I will reduce my current symptoms, which include homicidal rage, thrumps, and hollow heels. Got up and made my lunch, prepped veggies for writer’s group tonight (Sigh, I’ll be missing Darcy Michael at the Sylvia, pang, oh pang), policed up the laundry room and tidied the kitchen after Katie’s excellent dish washing last night. I love Keith, but he washes dishes as if he’s secretly hoping we’ll never ask him again. Greasy rinse water, pah. Katie washes dishes like she’s actually planning on consuming food served on them. More my style, thanks.

If I talk about work, the homicidal rage will be more than adequately explained, but since I work for a public company, my blog must needs reflect the positive side of my work life. After all, the share prices are doing reasonably well. I will say this. They have decided not to take live questions at the town hall meetings. So I think my digestion will not permit me to attend the next one. There, I feel better already!

Wups! Almost but not quite burned the oatmeal… it will be just eating temp when Paul finishes his yoga. I got about halfway through “All the Con Men I Have Known”, last night; I’m thinking that somewhere in there I am missing the beat somewhat, but at least I’ve got the notes correct; what a bitch of a song to transcribe! I have no idea what the hell key it’s in so I’m putting it perforce in C, but there are SO many sharps, flats and naturals it looks like somebody emptied a jar full of jazz chords onto the page. It is among the more interesting of my tunes melodically (and it’s the one for which foolks always glaze over and say “Oh, that sounds like Joni Mitchell” as if that would somehow make me feel any better about either their intelligence or their taste – not that I consider myself worthy to kiss the sole of Ms Mitchell’s dazzlingly accoutred boot).

Well, I’d better get my sorry PMSing ass out of this chair and get back to my chores; now it’s time to write something for writers. I have a cunning plan. Mom, the package arrived. Happy sigh. I now have a bag made of that stunning space girls material I showed in an earlier post.

All Quiet in East Burnaby
2006-02-23— Posted by: allegra

wtf? It’s the dreaded space potato!!!!
2006-02-22— Posted by: allegra

AKA Telesto, a moon of Saturn’s.

No dreams
2006-02-22— Posted by: allegra

I suppose you are all very relieved that my dreams were not quite as exciting as those of last night.

I went to bed at 8:40 last night; I think I’m fighting something again.

I’m reading Connie Willis’ Doomsday Book and quite enjoying it.

So what MAKES it deathless prose?
2006-02-22— Posted by: allegra

Uh, my opinion, and not much else.

This is culled from the middle of a newspaper article about a shooting – kind of interesting, a witness shot the suspect…. at least five bullets and five entrance wounds…. four times in the head, which, even thought it’s completely disgusting, ya kinda hafta admire. Here’s the context, for as long as it lasts.

http://www.2theadvocate.com/news/2343136.html

Something else occurs; the way, even though it’s in the middle of the story, you know exactly who the cop and who the ””perp”” is. The way you can picture, as if it was a slice of tv news, the expensive car cutting in, the irritation of the off duty cop, the confrontation in the parking lot which is in itself a shrine to the automobile (AutoZone), the advent of the “I actually do have a permit for this thing” concealed firearms badass. It all makes such mythic SENSE that you are weak-kneed before it.

It’s also as disgusting as a git’s spit-oot. Bleaugh. I won’t bring it up again. Gotta do something about this major case of schadenfreude. Oh, hoff an umlaut, it’s on me.

What I call deathless prose
2006-02-22— Posted by: allegra

How the fight between Harrison and Temple began is still unclear to investigators. What they do know is that Harrison was off-duty and working as a motorcycle escort for a funeral procession going west on Greenwell Springs Road when a black S550 Mercedes driven by Temple cut into the procession, Phares said. Harrison pulled Temple into the AutoZone parking lot and wrote him a ticket for a traffic violation. That�s when an argument began. What the two argued about is still unknown because Harrison has yet to be interviewed, Phares said.

Last night I had a really weird dream
2006-02-21— Posted by: allegra

I was an extra in a movie based on a previously undiscovered manuscript by William Faulkner and it started in a 1930’s drivethrough hardware store staffed by a cast-of-a-thousand darkies in Depressionwear and ended up with Johnny Depp – complete with pencil thin mustache and elegant suit – taking refuge there as some kind of confidence man on the lam; this all being perfectly acceptable until Johnny and his leading lady, a very short and portly girl with a pretty voice, who alas was not me, burst into song while travelling down a dusty road. Collect your jaws, it gets one bit weirder. They got on a train that appeared to be full of odd looking people but the closer you got to them the more you realized they weren’t ugly people with skin conditions, they were alien musical aficionados – several species; the cap of the musical numbers was an all singing, all dancing, mostly alien recreation of the major Southern Gothic themes, while Johnny sang sort of Greek Chorus style in a glorious, badly dubbed tenor. It was very enjoyable and I was irritated to be woken by my alarm. How was YOUR night in the coils of Morpheus?? It can’t POSsibly have been more entertaining. Oh, I have to mention one really amazing part of it – totally CGI but nicely done. You’re standing next to the railway track and all of a sudden you’re picked up and moving backwards and you’re still moving backwards at a good clip and you start closing in with the conductor and the closer you get the more you realize he’s an enormous insectoid thing with big ol’ googly eyes and antennae flowing out from under his tidy cap, flapping in the breeze, but you aren’t scared because he’s…. singing. A happy song in a beautiful baritone voice about how much he loves being a musical performer on a train. Happy Sigh.

RIP Hunter S Thompson
2006-02-21— Posted by: allegra

Anita Thompson released this picture recently. He still had some sparkle.

It pays to advertise
2006-02-21— Posted by: allegra

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/4733522.stm

If you shoot a lawyer, that makes you more popular
2006-02-21— Posted by: allegra

I love the results of this poll. You know how they’re always saying Plus Or Minus 4 percent, Nineteen times out of Twenty? Here’s the fucking proof that you can’t take too much too seriously.

Edmonton airport – February 5, 2006
2006-02-21— Posted by: allegra

Notice anything slightly unusual about this picture???

Nice ice
2006-02-20— Posted by: allegra

Leo said it was like walking on cornflakes, and his youngest son told him that the windshield on his vehicle cracked as he was removing ice from it.

I light a candle for the dead in that pileup on the 417 near Embrun, and I light a row of candles for the dead in the landslide in the Philippines.

May the persons responsible for the illegal logging above that little village find themselves in a nice ‘n’ toasty corner of hell.

Pic is of Leo and Linda’s backyard. Brother James, I am sure this is much what you have been looking at.

Happy news about bird flu!
2006-02-20— Posted by: allegra

http://news.independent.co.uk/world/asia/article346511.ece

Now we can all worry about something else, like this:

http://www.rsmas.miami.edu/pressreleases/20060217-langdon.html

enough sleep
2006-02-20— Posted by: allegra

After the insanity of the wait on the trip down, the border crossing on the way back was pretty funny. “Where do you live?” “Burnaby.” “What did you buy?” “Nuttin’.” (I literally said this.) “Off you go.” I’m driving away saying under my breath Holy Virgin! we coulda had a gallon o smack in the car….

Took a walk in the Arboretum yesterday as Alan predicted Green Lake would be nutsoid – it’s a urban park with inadequate parking spaces. Then I had a massage. Then we ate at Alan and Janice’s favourite diner, and I drove home. I called their place to let them know we had arrived in one piece and Alan owned as how I had made impressive time. Yeah, and you can too if you completely ignore those pesky speed limit signs.

God got me good, though – my dreams were full of cops pulling me over for DUI and not wearing a seatbelt. I didn’t have a drop of alcohol all weekend! (Unusual for me in the extreme).

As for the Mucinex Janice provided, it took 22 hours for the effects to wear off, so I’m glad I didn’t take two….

Seattle Siege!
2006-02-19— Posted by: allegra

Went to Dan and Carol’s place in Seattle for the Spit; they have a little jewel of a house, which is full of hardwood flooring and maintains the 1920’s charm of the original, including the wibbly windows. The food was UNBELIEVABLY good, even for a Spit; it’s criminal what happens when you get a bunch of middle aged women into the same room for a Spit, and the hostess is a gourmet cook. It was among the best lasagne I’ve ever eaten. I was driving, so I avoided the lavish irrigation supplied by host Dan, but Paul did not stint.

Mum, I met a gal named Sherrie, who provided me with her Christmas newsletter. Within three pages I had laughed so hard so many times I was hurting, it is wonderful; I must share it with you.

Then we went back to Alan and Janice’s to ditch our bags and drove out to SeaTac to collect them from the plane, which was, of course, an hour late. We had a number of adventures on the way which included almost running out of gas (Paul insisted on driving Janice’s car and the gas gauge hiccupped downwards a quarter tank after we’d been in it for about 5 minutes….) and having to divert from the I5 due to an accident – and having to stop on the 509 because the drawbridge was up. We still got there in plenty of time….

I know I’m starting to sound obsessed about this, but Americans are A LOT MORE THOUGHTFUL about restroom facilities than Canadians are. In the Cell Phone lot at SeaTac – a place where you can sit for free, excuse me, until your pickup calls you, having arrived – there’s a Portapotty.

This morning we had a leisurely breakfast of oranges, coffee, biscotti (MY biscotti, which had been forlornly sitting on the patio where the US Postal guy had left them! and they’re still yummy) oatmeal and bagels. Now we get into our walking clothes and go to the Arboretum, and then I’m having a massage, tra la la, and then we’re going to try to head back and avoid the GODAWFUL wait at the border, which was insane making yesterday; we were at the truck crossing for an hour and a half. It’s never as bad coming back north, but I’m still not expecting a picnic. Weather is glorious here.

Janice has introduced me to the glories of Mucinex. This weird blue and white tablet blows out your sinuses for a good eight hours – sleep would have been impossible without it. Apparently it’s bloody expensive but I may hit a Walgreen’s on the way out of town anyway.

Dan works at Boeing – being the only two men at the Spit, you can imagine their guilty pleasure at having to hang around another middle aged guy in the airplane business. According to Paul, they swapped stories of “what happens when you try to integrate two businesses” – In Dan’s case Boeing and Douglas, and in Paul’s Air Canada and Canadian. That kept them out of the very loud living room for most of the duration, and probably maintained their sanity. LOVED the house, and the fact they had art from Nova Scotia all over the walls was, for me, a very nice touch. (I was born in Nova Scotia, but don’t hold that against me.)

Off to the arboretum for walkies!!!

must….blog….
2006-02-18— Posted by: allegra

Keith is re-watching some of the dance sequences from Band Wagon; Katie is swithering around the living room and grousing at Keith not to mess up all the DVD’s she laboriously cleaned up yesterday; Paul is putting the finishing touches on his toilette; and I’m blogging as fast as I can type because I have to jump in the car and drive to Seattle in about three seconds. I’ll report in detail on the Spit tomorrow morning. Be good while I’m gone, ever’body!

??
2006-02-17— Posted by: allegra

My site was scunnered there for a while but it appears to be all good now. Of course by the time my infamous webmeister looked at it, it had healed itself, leading to a round of questions like, Are you Crazy or do you just act like you are so that everybody will Think You Are?

Off to Seattle tomorrow for a Spit, tra la la, followed by lazing about at Alan and Janice’s. Much much happiness.

More Moose!!!
2006-02-17— Posted by: allegra

36 hours pain free!!!!
2006-02-16— Posted by: allegra

Yup, micturation is now accomplished with a minimum of fuss. I trained hard (Do Those Kegels, Grrls!) and now I can definitely state that I am feeling much better. Now, all I have to do is lose about 40 pounds and get some exercise and quit eating sugar and butter, and I’ll be the healthiest woman alive.

The picture shown below illustrates the comical consequences of being a male person with a new digital camera. Kane Quinnell, who is not responsible for having a name like a Harlequin Romance Hero, decided to take pictures of a lightning storm in the unlikely location of Old Toongabbie. (New Toongabbie not available for comment). He swears the storm wasn’t very close…. he left the shutter open for 4 seconds and snapped away a number of times, suddenly capturing this beaut as it struck the neighbours’ house some 20 meters away. He ran inside and emailed his amazing picture to all of his friends, who oddly enough forwarded it to the Australian Bureau of Meteorology. Kane is lucky he’s not a burnt out grease spot, and now we can all look at this picture, so I guess we’re lucky all round.

Reuters is reporting on how to bury bodies in the back yard subsequent to the pandemic. Me, I’m stocking up on really really tough garbage bags – body bags are expensive, dude.

I hope everybody reading this is sensible enough to stock up on rubber gloves and masks. You can also make your own masks… out of cotton or linen.

Given how many countries the flu is in now, you have to wonder how many more months we have before it jumps to people. I read one very unsettling report from Vietnam indicating that young children have probably been dying of flu for some months but the symptom list shifted somewhat and the doctors aren’t catching it until autopsy. In this case the kids weren’t coughing that much; they spiked massive fevers, convulsed a couple of times, went coma and died, usually within two days of initial onset of symptoms.

Love each other while you can.

Waiting a long time for a bus in Moscow
2006-02-15— Posted by: allegra

Credit Nicholas Danilov, Mosnews.

Valentines day pile up
2006-02-15— Posted by: allegra

Okay, lessee. Because I am a nimnul, missed Peggy’s birthday celebration yesterday, but since I actually was able to herd all of my peeps into one room for a Valentine’s Evening Dinner – Keith and Kate were there! – it wasn’t so bad. I asked Paul if it would be okay to just buy what I felt like eating, so I made garlic bread, bought brie, made cocktail prawns (steamed, not boiled), made salad and microwaved some spinach, and grilled two extremely large steaks. Katie’s in wonderful shape, we laughed ourselves silly.

My seeds from Richters came, and wouldn’t you freaking well know it…. no sweetgrass – no linen flax, and no somethingerotherelse, can’t remember what.

Valentines Day cards for the coworkers went over well, again. This year I bought Fantastic 4, Cookie Monster and Pooh valentines cards; some people are really Tigger fanatics so I ensured they got those cards.

I saw the news about Cheney’s hunting accident and really wanted to post, but something told me to hang back. I’m glad I did. The most interesting consequence of the debacle was watching the leftosphere toss a highly appropriate muzzle on when the victim went back into ICU. The rightosphere will no doubt bemoan the bad taste of the leftosphere in making fun of a serious situation, as a result, but ainsi soit-il. I really wish Cheney would strap his conscience on and publicly apologize. You know it’s not likely to happen. Sigh.

My sundry symptoms are backing off, slowly, as in I’m in a lot less pain almost all of the time – but they’re being replaced by the Saddam’s mother of all colds. Paul’s been a snot factory for the last week – share and share alike, I guess.

I read an interesting item in the blogosphere recently about what to do if you blog and are being stalked. Same as if you’re not blogging and are being stalked. Get some likely lads together with ‘pool cues and table legs’ and administer percussive scalp therapy. That was easy, warn’t it?

Hope you all had a lovely day, and that you didn’t get hosed too bad on the roses.

Really weird dream
2006-02-14— Posted by: allegra

Last night I dreamed that one of my coworkers said, “If you don’t stop sexually harassing people at work I’m reporting you to HR.” This was after fondling him in a fashion that can only be described as non violent sexual assault.

Sigh, and just in time for Valentine’s Day.

Came up with three new bits; the Hyack Festival, Men’s underwear, and That Guy in Marketing, as well as a transitional bit about my probation officer and the perils of walking through your neighbourhood.

I didn’t drink enough water yesterday and I’m really really feeling it today, if you know what I mean.

Time to distribute Valentine’s cards.

FIREFLY BARBIES!!!!
2006-02-13— Posted by: allegra

Jumping Jimmy Christmas….??!!! Is there anything Browncoats won’t do???

Stolen from Darcy Michael’s website
2006-02-13— Posted by: allegra

And why the hell not. Mike asked me “Who was that guy” in response to the Laff Riot Girls show closer… and his website is at http://www.darcymichael.com/. He’s playing the Urban well on February 21st and I’m going, he made me laugh my ass off. He made a room full of drunks yell “Jihad!”

productive day
2006-02-13— Posted by: allegra

Cleo from across the way gave me chives and irises. I planted the irises but I’m still trying to think where to put the chives. They may end up where I stuck them.

Got ALL my laundry done, helped get the furniture back into the dungeon, did all the laundry that came out of the dungeon (sheets were covered in sawdust and construction gunge), did the dishes when Katie skated off to hang with Dax (grr), made a variant of Chicken Chow-le which got devoured happily by all attendees, weeded the front bed, dumped down some more dirt in same bed, worked some more on songs (this time, the Cairn), noodled around on the internet, worked some more on my comedy routine, found out where all the open mics are in the lower mainland, answered Laurel’s letter and otherwise had a very productive and yet restful day.

My medical condition is responding very well to a beer and water diet. Which reminds me, I should go drink something.

Pic is of Katie, what seems like a hundred years ago, at (I believe) Calgary airport. Paul took the picture.

All funds Canadian dollars
2006-02-13— Posted by: allegra

From the 1979 Radio Shack Catalog.

Jarmo skiing
2006-02-13— Posted by: allegra

Found this on a little used section of the drive. Trent (I believe) took the picture. Jarmo looks naked – but he isn’t. Then Jarmo photoshopped in the earth, and you have a lovely image.

Comedy night
2006-02-12— Posted by: allegra

I came either fifth or sixth, depending on how you calculate these things. Considering that I never consulted my crib sheet and got consistent laughs, I am having trouble identifying what it was that pushed me out of the running, but I will no doubt learn it from the notes provided by the judges (a nice touch). Let us say that I preferred the plaudits of the crowd to the deliberations of the tribunal….

Went to a gelato place on the Drive afterwards to salve my chapped ass (okay, I was applying the salve to the wrong location, or was applying it on the American Plan) and had the strawberry pineapple gelato. It was so good it brought tears to my eyes, and I wish I was exaggerating.

I’m looking forward to my next trek to Seattle. There will be a Open HouseSpit (meeting of the Dunnett fan club) on Saturday, and then Paul and I will pick Janice and Alan up from the airport (they will be arriving back that evening) and then, o then, a lovely day of knocking around Seattle and hanging with the folks, who should be all tanned and rested after a week in Ft Lauderdale or environs.

Off to Zesty
2006-02-12— Posted by: allegra

So I’ll be gigging – it’s part of a standup comedy contest – at Zesty Restaurant tonight. I have no clue when I’ll be going on. I am so nervous I feel jelly-like, but I imagine some of Vancouver’s finest beer will put me in a less frantic mood. Pic is of the venue.

With respect to David Emerson
2006-02-11— Posted by: allegra

May I quote Allen Steele….. “Promises are like turds. You have to make them. You don’t have to keep them.”

Cousin Gerald sent me this
2006-02-11— Posted by: allegra

http://www.thebanmappingproject.com/

With the comment ” I believe ‘cool’ would be appropriate to describe this endeavour.”

Indeed.

Squids having sex
2006-02-10— Posted by: allegra

A miracle
2006-02-10— Posted by: allegra

For a small raise in her allowance, Katie has agreed to do all the dishes going forward. This is bloody amazing. I prepaid her two weeks of allowance I was so happy.

Writers Group last night rocked, as always. We write such a large variation of stuff, it’s inspirational. I read My Muse was a Zombie. And brought veggies, in fine UU tradition. We’re getting our own website!

Keith is working later today.

Paul took 100 wheelbarrows of dirt from the construction site yesterday – and yes, he did ask the site supervisor. Okay, I exaggerate.

I have not touched any of my songs! When will I ever get near the computer again?

enough sleep
2006-02-09— Posted by: allegra

Allegra very tired but reasonably okay.

Keith is going to apply to some other Cobb’s locations; Katie is at school and taking Drama and Psychology (talk about yer slack term, I said, to which her response was – uh, no, Psychology is really hard).

Katie cut her own hair. You win some, you lose some.

enough sleep
2006-02-08— Posted by: allegra

Yah! Watched Band Wagon (Astaire, Charisse, Levant, Fabray, Buchanan, and all directed by Vincente Minelli…) last night with John and the kids. It’s a bizarre movie in a lot of ways – we found ourselves laughing a lot when the script is not trying to be funny…. as, f’rinstance, when there’s a big strip of neon proclaiming The GAYEST MAGIC BOX – which should resonate on a number of levels with SOME of my readers. Astaire looks weirder every time I look at him. Worked some more on the Tapioca Song. MAN it’s HARD. The rests are driving me batty.

enough sleep
2006-02-07— Posted by: allegra

Everybody is sleeping peacefully, including Paul. I wish I didn’t have to go to work today. I’d rather be screamed at by a chain of rabid customers than review process documentation all bloody day. Yes, I know it’s for the good of the party.

enough sleep
2006-02-06— Posted by: allegra

http://www.uclick.com/client/wpc/tt/2006/01/29/index.html

This cartoon was so offensive that the Joint Chiefs of Staff fired off a disgusted letter to the Washington Post.

Considering that the US is fighting a ‘technically’ illegal war… (like legality would make it right anyhow) I thought the Joint Chiefs got off quite light, don’t you?

Touched by his noodly appendage part II
2006-02-06— Posted by: allegra

http://www.screenhead.com/funny/FSM1.jpg

It isn’t safe for work, if that is what you were wondering, unless you work at the BCMP. This is sort of the the CUTE, SQUIGGLY version of a lovecraftian being.

one thing and another
2006-02-06— Posted by: allegra

1. One of my packages came, but due to the incompetence of the Canadian Postal System, I was unable to pick it up the next day, as stated in the tag they left. The fact there was somebody home all day Friday added to my biliousness. Why the farce didn’t they deliver it? Morans.

2. The trek to wellness included a walk along the Fraser foreshore yesterday; Paul thoughtfully picked a walk that included an open, clean and convenient washroom, without which the walk would have been impossible. Katie would have enjoyed seeing more dogs but it was otherwise a very nice walk. There was debris from the storm surge all over the park. I am actually feeling better today.

3. I am continuing to come up with new material for the gig with no apparent effort, which is pleasant. I am in the throes stages of arranging the order for all the bits.

4. Katie continues to be one of the ongoing joys of my life. She has said a couple of things lately that are so poignant, or so funny, that I’ve been dumbstruck – always a good thing, you will no doubt point out. Recently she said, on the subject of God, “The only thing that makes any sense to me is that God created us, got scared and ran away.” This was on Friday night… I don’t know if it’s original to her but it sure made me laugh.

Back to the grind now, thank heaven I have the car.

another fake trailer
2006-02-05— Posted by: allegra

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfODSPIYwpQ

If the link doesn’t work search for Brokeback to the Future and be prepared to snicker.

Friday night Mike showed me a fake trailer for the Shining, which remakes it as a feelgood family movie. That was funny and creepy. OOOOh. Which reminds me. He left weenie goodness here, which I must photograph and post. You will understand when you see it.

notes to the foregoing
2006-02-03— Posted by: allegra

The opening reference is to a Night Stalker episode. I wrote this poem between 10 and 15 years ago; I find it entertaining how some of the images and choices of words now resonate with commercial media like, well, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The “edge in my voice” is definitely an Ellison reference – the book with that as part of the title was published in 1985 and I think I had just finished reading it when I wrote the poem. I was angry with a friend for trying to get on the gravy train of arts council grants (it would have meant that she had to complete reorganize her creative life to lay hands on some government money and now, of course, there’s no money for that kinda stuff); I was in love with someone who didn’t love me back; there were a lot of street people that I had to navigate through as I did the company banking every day and I had to pass a lot of boarded up businesses.

Since I was doing this zombie like trek up and down Queen Street every day and always getting strange looks from people, this poem resulted. And I just had to write a poem with the word sistrum in it, I have no idea why.

Sundry and various
2006-02-03— Posted by: allegra

Paul’s doing his yoga, his bowl of cereal is gently cooking away in the nuker, and I am taking advantage of the glories of socialized medicine with yet another prescription for antibiotics. This one is specifically for UTI’s (lay explanation: It hurts to pee). So yes, I did see the doctor, and his explanation for my problem doesn’t require surgery but is hard to treat. Yummy yummy mucosa!!! Gee whiz, I can hardly wait for the cystoscopy NOW!

I came up with another great line for my comedy routine. Instead of being all panicky and freaked out I just have a vast feeling of calm about it; Zesty’s at 8 on Saturday the 11th, if anybody is interested. Either Paul is better or it was genuinely funny when I shared the new material with him this morning; he laughed and said the folks will love it.

I think it’s time we had another computer in the house, every time I try to get on Paul is on the computer. It’s ridiculous; two months ago he got on the computer about as often as I do dishes. Speaking of which, Katie has another week to do dishes in payment of her debt to me for buying her another month of tanning. It’s working though – her rash is greatly diminished, and it’s done wonderful things to her mood. I’m thinking of doing it myself. (Not really, but I just wanted to picture my mother’s jaw going CLARN into her lap.)

Katie apparently had only the one cigarette so I can go back to Condition Yellow rather than Condition Full Bore Freak Out with Optional Hysterics and Arm Waving.

That’s about all I can think of for now; signing off from beautiful East Burnaby, this is your Mid Stream correspondent signing off for now…..

Go with the Floe!
2006-02-03— Posted by: allegra

Enuff said. This pic is actually from 1997 and was um, borrowed most cruelly from a US army website. (Okay, WHAT was this moose doing on a US Army website? Ha! No one can resist the call of the moose.) But in my diligent search for the best of moosiness, I will take my chances with the eagle eyed military lawyers….

No job yet
2006-02-02— Posted by: allegra

Keith worked a full day yesterday but that was apparently “more testing” and he will know about the job FOR SURE Saturday. Apparently I was also dreaming in Cinemascoop about the floor in the kitchen….. do not pass go, do not find linoleum. Much nicer subflooring and a different configuration in the kitchen, but no lino.

Dax dropped by last night with his friend Justin. I have no idea why. Katie smoked a cigarette and I cried into my biscotti dough. (No, not really. That would be unsanitary.)

Watched most of Gentlemen Prefer Blondes last night, and I am not alone in vastly preferring Jane Russell. Oh, the clothes, the clothes!!! We were so grossed out by the ad for Bus(t) Stop that we didn’t watch it.

My boss’s band is playing the same weekend as Potlatch. Suckage! Major diameter suckkkkage!

Finished **** You Jack and mailed it to my mother, including emailing her the midi file so she knows what tune to hum as she’s playing the somewhat devil may care lyrics. Two songs down, 98 to go. Sigh.

I should finish the Tapioca song so Yam and Dr. Filk can go promulgate it. There is a prophet, and there are acolytes.

Try to guess what I did to this copyrighted picture of Richard Seamans’. It is a B2, and it was taken at an airshow, and then I ditzed with it.

My floor! My floor
2006-02-01— Posted by: allegra

The boys from Edenvale Restoration (and, folks, major props to them all) are in my house doing the last of the flood restoration. It only took 11 weeks from flood to fabulous, and we only got nailed for a $500 deductible. Happy sigh.

Now we have to rip that godawful upstairs carpet up. I really really want to do that, it’s just gross.

democracy under a veil
2006-02-01— Posted by: allegra

http://htdaw.blogsource.com/post.mhtml?post_id=198659

Those reading this fore-noted non highlighted link who maintain the impression that the US is still a democracy have my sympathy, but I won’t have much trust in their judgment.

No moose picture?
2006-02-01— Posted by: allegra

I heard about a moose surfing on an ice floe, but there was NO PICTURE. WWAAAAHH.