Yesterday something that happened at the budget meeting after church horrified and disgusted me. I exercised my democratic franchise and voted – alone of the congregation – against it.
A church is bigger than its minister. After all the f-cking scandals – and guh knows Unitardians have theirs – this is the lesson. The people stay, the minister moves on. Even if everything is right and tight, the minister still moves on. It’s a career, after all, not an ossuary.
Unitarian scandals? Co-ministering spouses get a divorce in the middle of their service. Ministers date church presidents. Ministers get up in the grill of the worship services committee and go down in flames. Ministers try to get a particular church to adopt a particular theology in the teeth of heavy resistance and are removed. Unitarian scandals are usually ’bout sex and power. I imagine there have been scandals about ministers and money, but not that I ever heard in 15 years of Unitarianism.
An ongoing scandal in Unitarianism is how poly relationships are where gay relationships were in the 80’s. Those in the know, know, and those who aren’t don’t get told because it’s ‘Too extreme for where the flock is right now’. So I know a bunch of stuff about polyamory and Unitarians (Canadian and Yank) and I have to keep my mouth shut, or horses will be frightened.
You know what it’s like to march in Pride parades and know this shit? It feels human. It don’t feel pretty, but there it is.
Anyway, when you commit to a church family, it’s warts and all. It’s knowing that the minister, or lack of one, will change in the future; people will join and people will quit and it’s all part of life’s rich pageant. I quit Beacon and realized that what I was running away from was myself, so I came back. All the problems I had are still there but I’m motivated to work on at least some of them. Including my reaction. I am not going to just blithely suck it all up.
This paragraph deleted on the insistence of my lawyer.
And to cleanse my palate of all this, Paul and I, joined by Keith, evangelized for Unitarianism yesterday. After church we put door hangers in the neighbourhood around the church, and glad we are that we did, too; it’s a gorgeous little neighbourhood and the views are awesome. Hint, hint. Stop, look, listen, and think. And go back to the work, because it don’t stop.