To protect Katie’s dignity and privacy I won’t go into much of the background stuff. The foreground stuff is a lot of me shaking my head and going “This is bullshit.” (From disbelief, disappointment, anger, fear and vanity.) At the same time I’m hearing things I didn’t hear about at the time they happened and I’m starting to understand how parents can wake up one morning and find one of their kids hanging from something or possibly having left town abruptly or maybe just plain old O.D’ed. “But I had no idea he was so upset!” Yeah….. My daughter’s having a crisis and all I can think about is how it affects me – how it makes me look. How mature! so I’m really trying to make an effort to not make it about me; it was easy enough to do when she didn’t live with me for the best part of five years. Now she’s sleeping on the media room couch (why didn’t she go to bed? Bet she stayed up talking to Keith…)
She is feeling better. She says so. She’s diurnal again. She’s painting a lot. She’s going to Victoria today with her brother. She swapped my laundry over for me last night so I’ve got clean clothes this morning.
I am also thinking A LOT these days about Elly, and thinking I should get on the phone with her. She is just about the most loving and sensible woman I ever met, and I hope she can help me with what’s happening, just for perspective, just for asking pointed questions, giving sage advice.
I hope Katie and Keith have a lovely time in Victoria. She’s taking her easel.