I keep getting dizzy spells – and really, really weird physical symptoms, like, check this out. All the hair on my face (not my scalp, my face) stood on end and then I got a paresthesia that my face had solidified and was now melting down my skull. (Didn’t hurt, just felt indescribably WEIRD.) This was about an hour ago. If I hadn’t also had the biggest scintillating scotoma of my life fifteen minutes before that I’d think I was going mad, but it’s obviously migraine related. The scotoma started as a jigsaw dragon of panelled rainbow light, faded into a pale green smear and then parked itself over my right visual field for about a minute.

Anyway, my balance is not great as I wander around the house but it seems to be okay when I leave the house to walk around, so who knows what the hell this is, besides something unwelcome and novel and probably a sign that I’ll stroke out at some point, even though my blood pressure is not that high at the moment.

Spoke to Dave yesterday; he strongly recommended the latest Dylan album and hoo boy, Rough and Rowdy Ways was loads of fun and I genuinely liked the entire album except for the Key West song.


feeling better

Kidneys appear to be behaving. Tests today, finally; Jeff has very kindly offered to drive me as I’m not keen on walking.

We’re blasting through season 2 of Elementary and enjoying it tremendously.

Off to breakfast this morning with Jeff. Also have to pick up some hardware from Tom Lee today, which involves GASP  going downtown.

completely stalled on writing and editing. Still practicing every day though.

sorry about the radio silence

Basically I started drinking beer when I got there, stopped around 7 pm, started having kidney grit again around 2 am, peed into a cup at one point because I couldn’t make it from the trailer to the house, and man, continence is A WHOLE THING of beauty and you really appreciate it when you don’t have it. I woke Jeff up around 6:30 the next morning and we talked it through, whether we wanted to leave in case I got worse, ended up getting the 9 o’clock ferry, more or less, and was greeted by an exceedingly noisy Buster.

But kidney grit aside….

We had an awesome time, can’t say how much, it was balm for my soul. And Jeff is of much the same mind. Brought a PILE of guest gifts mostly to indicate how grateful I am to have access to a miniature Baumfest. Anyway why take flowers? I brought vegetation of a different kind. Also a plaque showing Percy Saltzman saying Tonight’s forecast: low standards, alcohol and poor decisions. I thought Al was about to lose his mind when he saw that. I also brought them four capshields with hardware.

Drank beer ate fishburgers and other food, listened to the waterfall – they have a WATERFALL you can hear FROM THEIR YARD listened to their incredible playlist on spotify and around ten I got to sleep in their extremely comfy trailer in the side yard. I FELL IN LOVE with that trailer, it’s incredible me-sized.



This little exchange on the internet may NOT GO AS PLANNED for grandpa but he’ll be dead when his grandson eulogizes him as ‘the man who really accepted my sexuality’ LOLOLOLOL



Jaw gaping, reading this.


If you click on this to ‘open in new tab’ it’ll be big enough to read. Since it’s copyrighted material I’m not retyping it.

Wow, have a little racism with your nursing textbook. from

on twitter. She says and I quote
For those asking, the name of the book is “Nursing: A Concept Based Approach to Learning” published by Pearson.
in 2017, in case you’re wondering
They’ve since apologized and removed the passage after receiving backlash, but this doesn’t change the fact that medical racism is prevalent through our society TODAY.
Keith is off to practice social distance grandsonning in Saanich this weekend and of course we’re all twittery about that but also I am so glad, because we’re all so lonesome for each other these days.
Noted human trafficker, pilot and scumbag procurer to the richest assholes on this beleagured planet, Ghislaine Maxwell, has been arrested in New Hampshire. Current betting is that she’ll be dead in days; there are literally hundreds of millionaires and billionaires than cannot afford that she live to roll on them. Like Epstein, she’s dead, and there will be two people at her funeral.
suppose your kid does something to piss you off. Here’s a tip. Before the kid is old enough to wind you up on purpose, you’re the adult, suck it up. After the kid is old enough to wind you up on purpose, you trained them and you’re still the adult, so suck it up. This has been a message from an old sad parent


Took Jeff out for breakfast (a treat), talked to my doc on the phone and got a requisition for blood and urine work (that’ll be Monday, I guess) and drove in rush hour traffic to the pedorthist and got underway for new orthotics.

Allegra presents with a history of custom orthotic use and requires an update. She is significantly overpronated left>right with hindfoot valgus, medial ankle shift and forefoot abduction. Custom orthotics will help realign the hindfoot and control overpronation. Supportive footwear with a stiff heel counter are recommended.

Translation: the top of of my right foot hurts like a mofo, my left ankle bulges in when I walk on the inside like it’s going to just collapse, my left great toe joint is really stressed and I should never not wear orthotics when I’m upright evar again.

I think it’s possible some more grit came down the pipe this morning.

Then I had a simply splendid night of sleep only to wake up with something moving shit around in the yard. Sadly I had to stop in the john before I went out on the deck and by the time I’d finished washing my hands whatever it was had scarpered.

I’ve donated money to Pivot in the past. Herewith, some success.

So I’m actually feeling like I pushed that peanut today.


up late

I’m awake because as far as I can tell, the other kidney (left) is hocking a loogie into my plans. This is more abdominal pain than the other side and of course I’m no longer sleeping soundly. I couldn’t even climb the stairs at the end of the viewing day last night, just crashed on the couch. I woke up around 11 and it’s been heavy sledding ever since.

I’m going to doze for the rest of the night when I can – this hurts a fair amount without currently feeling life threatening – and talk to Jeff about next steps in the morning.


l8r – pain lasted until about 5 when I got a little more sleep — it’s now 8 am and I feel gross but the pain has lifted

l8r – it’s 11 am and we just went for a 1k walk in the warm and pleasant sun. I feel bruised but micturation and ambulation are both much improved

Off to Planet Bachelor today

Going to go love on my pipples for a while, this afternoon. I will need a walk so I’m planning on walking over. (later…. not so much, I think I’m working on cystitis or a kidney stone.  Katie is going to drop by later but it’s 10 am and I’m going back to rest.) also thanks to Jeff for being supportive

Trump, trumpity trump I don’t feel sorry for him at all.

Korean pop fans, who for whatever reason have decided to throw their likes behind Black Lives Matter (k-pop is SUPA problematic about cultural appropriation re contemporary black music, but the fans are pure uwu softness) (uwu is emoji talk for ‘cute’ as in HF MY PANCREAS DONE GOT EXPLODEY), reserved a million tickets for Trump’s rally and then because even the GOP voters in Tulsa fitfully experience self-preservation instincts, only 19K showed up.

This morning the feeds are full of the names of bands that got more people into that arena – paying bums in seats – than Trump did. How freude was my schaden.

Also in my feed this morning; antifa rescused a person being pressed to the ground by a single riot policeman with one of the most sincerely launched flying kicks I’ve ever seen. Antifa one, cop sent flying.

San Diego sent TWO THOUSAND youths on skateboards down one of the main drags; full props to whoever managed to do that WHILE HOLDING A HUGE SIGN.

Spoke to Jan and Jim yesterday…. how good to hear their voices.




an observation

Let’s just say, you mouldering pile of cloth-hearted lickspittles known as ‘economists’, that a lot more epidemiologists predicted an economy-crashing pandemic than you did. Fuck all y’all.

and from my fave ER nurse, this gem, half of which I don’t even get:



The foregoing image is a bingo card of ER drugs and their uses/personalities.


Andexxa is when you actually need the patient’s blood to clot

TDaP is actually a vaccine – tetanus

Rocuronium is a muscle relaxant of choice for intubation


Acetylcysteine for Acetominophen overdose and also loosens mucous

Succinylcholine Also for intubation



more hypochondria and RIP Mel Baggs

Mel Baggs the disabled activist is dead. Sie went into hospital a couple of days ago, not sure why, and hir last post was about how alienating the hospital was. That made me cry.

I must sadly say that I followed hir on twitter for a while and stopped because I found what sie said unchallenging and the way sie said it so annoying that I couldn’t deal with it. I kept wanting to argue with hir or high key mock hir and if there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s not to white lady on people, so I just backed off.

Now sie’s dead and I’m reading her blog. Reading the temporal lobe epilepsy symptoms on hir blog freaked me out, since at various points in my life I’ve had symptoms identical; just never all at once.

I have a deeply weird brain, but I’m quite attached to it. Mel also pointed out that ‘status migraine aura’ is possible which is when you’re in a migraine state all the time without head pain. I’ve gone months like that.


except me, of course.

So I was communing with my output in the water closet this morning as one does when one is a hypochondriac like I, and thinking TERRIBLE THINGS ARE HAPPENING TO MY LIVER and then I chanced to remember two facts. One, I’m looking at a perfect 3.5 on the Bristol scale, (so firm, so cylindrical, so fully packed) so relax, ya cheesewit, and second, I’ve been eating nothing but leftover pizza, egg salad with a ton of paprika and half a dozen mandarin oranges for the last two days, so that dreffle bright orange colour is…. nominal.

ah, the relief.

I stopped making masks for a while because Jan in Toronto nearly put her fucking eye out when a needle broke while she was making masks. Mask making involves really large changes in the height of what you’re sewing together and if you go too fast it’s super easy to break a needle. (She’d never had one break….fortunately spouse was home and dealt with the bloodination.)

I realized I was doing it bare-eyed because I don’t have functioning bifocals (I hate them) and realized I was asking for an industrial accident. Fortunately Jeff had a pair but he said the elastic had perished. I learned that I had THE IDENTICAL elastic and both cleaned and maintained the glasses, which are now waiting for me by the sewing machine, so I have no further excuse for my dilatory mask making ways. I also found a bunch of still useful stamps from my granny.  They were on a poster like this.

John H. Talman - Stamps for Sale - Auctions and Retail

courtesy John Talman stamps for sale

I thought pOp would like to know that when I mail him some masks the stamps will be from his mOm, who continues to look out for him, the way mOms do.


Starting to think about UPSUN again. Couple hundred words on latest fanfic.

Made raspberry scones this morning.

East Van love


Jennifer Yaeger LPC in Newnan Georgia has this to say