The unexpected postcard

I haven’t had enough
Can’t ask me to say when
Can’t ask me to resist
Won’t come my way again

It’s not that I am helpless
Nor that I am compelled
But that I have no words for
A way I’ve never felt

a long guitar and harmonica talking instrumental break

When you feel like you’re past hope
Past any chance for redemption
Perhaps some satisfaction
That life would get my vote
Then love comes into view
Like an unexpected postcard
Saying everything is beautiful
And soon you will be home.

fiddle on the last four lines, harmonica drops out

yes this is a destiel filk, tune exceeding dangerously sappy C&W, and it’s going along with the fic I’m working on. I am so cheesed with myself; I don’t want to leave the house, and there’s been a letter to pOp sitting there on the kitchen table for the last day. Also I’m supposed to make like lady bountiful to Paul, holed up in his motel. Tea, and beans, and whatnot.

Countdown to a US Civil War

Forty days. The world already got slammed by a pandemic. So I was right, who cares. To be right without helping set the world right isn’t enough, until you understand that no single person can do it anyway.

I’m not alone and the world will eventually get ‘better’. What that world will look like no one knows. Not even someone raised on the future, like I was, can know.

I got a phone call from Alex yesterday and after he told me that he played with Henry with magnets and it was big fun at school, he requested cinnamon buns with no glaze.

Can do little critter, can do. And I will. Daughter is collecting them after work today, so about 1 pm I will start the dough.

later again

Tom’s in hospital. He’s on his cell phone though, so it’s not like he’s incommunicado or currently dying. Glad I called Peggy and learned these tidings, which I communicated to the Keith for their household.

 

word count on fic 15466

graphic shows sonic the hedgehog’s two eyes gradually growing together to form a single huge eyeball

 

current mood

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shown is a lightly smirking woman, having won a beaver handling contest I’D FUCKING SMIRK TOO not that I’d ever have her simply incandescent skill set.Image

@zhaabowekwe posted this, saying that she’s still badass and one of the most fluent Anishinaabemowin speakers

nothing yesterday

Well, not much. Walk in Lougheed Mall and picked up some veg with Paul. I was feeling so exhausted but there was chicken to cook in the fridge so I made asparagus and mini potatoes and corn and breaded chicken breasts for an early supper and then pretty much collapsed after that. I did a little tidying but the air is so oppressive I felt like crap.

AQI currently 139, went up and down all night.

Currently putting together a list of the birds seen and heard in Deer Lake Park. I think it’s marvellous that when I went to the list there was no American Coot! But American Coots come to Deer Lake all the freaking time, so immediately I was one up on the list.

The list is the names of the birds and their habitats and songs, since Paul and I are tired of always hearing the birds and never seeing them. I already know that we’ve repeatedly heard both ospreys and merlins, which blows me away. Their chittering calls are very distinctive. Getting the info here.

Insomnia. Woke at 10:30, up til 3, back down again and up at 8.

Le Mans weekend.

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much better aqi, all things considered

It’s dropped 20 points since 1 am (now 145 LATER AT 8:30 AM UP PAST 160 AGAIN), and should get within kissing distance of normal – under 40 – sometime by Friday.

Buster has been extremely variable about wanting to train. Some mornings he’s all over it, but the last couple of mornings he wants to just be handed treats, so I cut short the training this am after one treat and we’ll try again in the early afternoon. This morning first he huffed training and then he begged for it and we got three paw claps and a jump and chase and a run and chase in.

My experiment, stealing a cushion off one of the downstairs sofas and using it for a backboard, is a success – however finding a replacement pillow even at places like Bed Bath and Beyond that are supposed to specialize in shit like this has proven rather difficult. I will ask Paul to assist with cushion shopping today, then I can put the danged cushion back.

Jeff took me to breakfast at IHOP yesterday and I just ate what was left of the leftovers. We had the leftover sushi for supper last night as the folks kindly shared out leftovers from Paul’s bday.

Doctor’s office phoned me saying they wanted to schedule ‘a medical review with an RN’ and I told them to go fuck themselves until after the 22nd when I (hopefully) get my glucose tolerance test. What the hell is wrong with these people? Why do a medical review when the single most important piece of test data isn’t available? Anyway, I wasn’t as rude as I sound but I took no shit, I assure you.

The hot stone massage at Head to Toes day spa with Pauline was AMAZING, I’m still feeling comfort right into my bones.  I may book another one next month just to have something to look forward to. But I suppose I should probably wait at least that long to ensure I neither caught nor brought anything.

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Review of day:

Didn’t drink enough water yesterday. It needs to be less than half tea, my liquid consumption. Did practice x 3 instruments; did walk 1.5 k, did empty the sink and fill the dishwasher; did not meditate or take my bp and pulseox; I did not work on a manuscript; I did take my pill and brush my hair and teeth; I did my shoulder exercises. No laundry yesterday or today; no osteofit, no dejunking yesterday.

Paul’s 71st bday

We ordered from L.A. Sushi, and it was really good, and we all broke up into smaller conversational groups, Katie and Keith and Paul and Jeff and I, and we marvelled that I bought a 70th birthday party card for Paul 6 months early, and then forgot to give it to him, and then dropped it on the ground outside his apartment yesterday so he almost didn’t get it AGAIN, but Jeff fetched it. Then I told him I hadn’t signed it and he’d have to sign it himself just to prove receipt and he got a good laugh out of that.

Earlier I had a panic attack at the Pier (the smell from the creosote after I took the N95 mask off literally made me hyperventilate – I didn’t learn until AFTER we left that the fucking pier is STILL ON FIRE and will remain so until the last of the creosote is burned) and ran away from Paul (because I needed to get home and he wouldn’t get in the car because he’d run into a friend on the street) and took a cab home, but I managed to calm down enough to go back out again for supper, and I’m glad I did because Alex was delightful playing Minecraft and it was really really really good to see the kids. I bought beer and drank a lot and guess what, no bad result today.

Massage this afternoon. I know it’s crazy, but if somebody doesn’t touch me I’m going to die, so wish me luck and I’ll have my best masks with me.

It’s been really shitty around here, but I feel a bit better today and the AQI is down under 160 for the first time in a week. The sky is SO OPPRESSIVE – it’s just horrible. Even so Jeff is helping things stay on an even keel, and we try to get out to get a little sun.

There’s a little more visibility, but we’re wrapped in a grey blanket of smoke and dirt. LATER… 170 is the AQI, my head is starting to hurt again, and damn I do not want to leave the house.

nothing on the fic today

Later, it was a lovely massage, and I stayed masked the whole time.

Visibility less than a kilometre

stench outside insupportable, and we got days more of this. For the people in Portland and western Oregon the air quality is up to three times WORSE, so feel something for those poor suffering bastards. At least Ned is safe while 12 percent of the population of the state is on the move.

King County R number is .6, best it’s been since the pandemic started. It’s flying way over one in Ontario, so stay tuned for more Fordfuckery.

Only seven squash left.

Tuesday we’re having a family supper at Planet Bachelor for Paul’s 71st bday. Everyone likes sushi, so that’s what we’re going with.

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Apparently I’m going to host Alex the long haired Minecraft grandson today.

Yesterday was a good day, I hope today is too.

still keep flashing on Sue and our convo the other day, talking about how the day will come when we’ll end ourselves so as not to make work for our loved ones

Disney Princess not

So a chickadee at Fraser Foreshore Park tried to cadge food out of me – twice, and I was still chuckling when an elderly German lady and her daughter/caregiver came along the path and held up a flicker feather, so I identified it for her, and she went along her way blessing me, so that was weird.

SO MUCH COYOTE SCAT, one lot was black as tar and shiny.

Saw a heron perched at the little pond. Went and looked at the mighty Stô:Lō from the Glenlyon observation platform.

After, took Paul to the Pho Hong and picked up some more cactus soil and little pots as the babies all germinated. Like….. all in the same day. Germination rate of over 90 percent for two year old seed, so that was nice. They’re all in pots now and I put them outside after getting the soil nice and saturated.

Post COVID paper

Infographic about post-COVID

If you click on it, it expands to a readable size.

Katie and Mike BOTH dropped by yesterday, Mike to pick up lentil soup and drop off sous-vide chicken breasts, nom, and Katie to just lay eyes on me and tell me about her life updates, which include what appears to be a shot at being happy, so, I’m like. YEAH SURE I want you to be happy, why the fuck wouldn’t I. She’s known him since high school, it’s not like he fell out of the sky. I haven’t met him, mostly because I don’t have to during a pandemic, but Paul and Keith have.

We talked about how the world is half mad with grief, and those who show no grief show fear and anger.

No walkies with Paul.

Made more lentil soup, made more dough for cinnamon buns; the ones I made yesterday morning are, like, gonzo. I guess Jeff and I really really liked them.

Finished watching season two of the Alienist. It’s much like the first season in some ways, but they handled a trope about as tastefully as one can, and the man follows the woman to her new job rather than the other way around, so that was a nice break, and there was an extremely satisfying revenge killing, one of the best and promptest ever. You killed my brother, I ain’t giving you the CHANCE to prepare to die, I’m just going to shoot you in the back. YES.

When I was researching the show I learned that the author of the original source material had a family story that possibly affected his writing; his dad committed a murder that was embedded in scandal and served time for it. Then he had a fifty year career in newspapers. I wish I was a white guy.

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This is a Balmain dress from the 50s. Dress looks like she was hung by her heels, dipped in white chocolate and rolled in glitter-encrusted dust bunnies.

Lazy Day

While Paul was here I handed him the phone and a beer. It was delightful to see how much he enjoyed talking to mOm, and mOm has long considered him a worthy in-law.

We took two turns around the 12th Ave School circuit and sat in the shade and watched a number of people not wear masks. I wore a mask anyway, the one to support the Vancouver Aquarium, which has turned into my go to mask because it fits well and is comfy.

 

I had a couple of days, most of a week, of feeling much better, but I’m feeling very jaded and unhopeful at the moment. I despise Trump and all of his minions and supporters so much, but I guess there’re historical precedents for an entire culture of people being so convinced of their superiority that a devastating war is the only way to slow them down.

Buster trained twice yesterday with vigour. Then he flops on the floor and looks cute. Yes Jeff he got his Sunday dinner.

Saved seeds yesterday. Practiced. Watched some TV but not a lot. Watered the garden. Fed a friend. Made soup. Cleaned a few things. Finally used up that cabbage head which has been unprofitably rolling around the fridge, and made fried cabbage with onions and chunks of steak. Only added half a teaspoon of salt as seasoning, but damn it was good, and that was dinner. Also phoned Mike to tell him there’s some really good soooooop waiting for him here.

life is not returning to normal

Sadly, Katie has put the kibosh on an visits by Tammy to Planet Bachelor because she does not support Tammy coming out from Toronto, that known festering pit of COVID. If she comes to Geekhaus she’ll be on the back deck and only coming inside for the washroom.

I don’t know what she has planned but I hope to get together with her SHOOOON in some reasonably social distancing way. Jeff took me to Cockney Kings and we ordered takeout (people were eating on the patio) and my god that haddock was so good.

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MAZEL TOV COCKTAILS are one thing, the comments were something else. @pjcarey11 said, Next, scream at the police: “Why don’t you call your mothers? Would it kill you to visit once in awhile?” anyway usually the comments thread is a trash fire but the comments after this post were a howl.

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This morning we had to shut off the smoke detector, it blasted off at 4 am and Jeff climbed onto a chair and killed it. I guess I’ve set the fucker off so many times that the battery died.