Saturday I was at Mike Beach, Sunday was church, which was excellent. Sue fetched me to and fro, and the minister gave a really excellent sermon. Last night 3.2 hours on the cpap, which makes me really happy because I skipped a night and I was wondering what was going on. I didn’t have a problem with the mask fitting but I woke up with my right eye pretty much glued shut because I forgot the Liposic. I was hoping Katie and Alex would come to church but they didn’t make it.
Salmon, rice and cauliflower for dinner last night, which was unfortunate, because I set off the burnt offering alarm.
I had some wonderful news over the weekend but for the news to be presentable I have to do some work this morning; I’m going to go through the take-off checklist and get going on that, starting with going downstairs and getting some coffee, since it’s obvious I’m not going back to sleep.
I’ve been watching a debate between an white Jewish woman ally commentator and a black man who’s a media activist. The woman is suffering from GCAS (Golden Child Ally Syndrome) and the man is not anything but long suffering. As much as I love being the centre of attention and being told I’m necessary for the proper running of the world, when a person of colour is telling me about his experience I’m supposed to a) listen, b) believe him, c) leave my defensiveness at home d) consider what I’ve learned on my own time in my own space and e) not flip out on social media and encourage a bunch of sock puppet accounts to attack him to try to get him banned from various places (like what the ever loving fuck is up with that??) and jack in the box squawks about hypocrisy, intersectional privilege and ‘what are you making this all about race’ which was so fucking tone deaf I wanted to pole vault through the phone with a punch in the snoot as my opening gambit. I didn’t pile on her, but I did snark hard on a few of the more clueless sock puppets.. Now maybe it all started for me because I was married to a black man during a period when the Toronto cops were randomly shooting black guys with mental health problems (not that this disproportional bs has stopped, but that one summer was not a fun time) and maybe it’s super easy for me to be convinced I’m an SJW because I’m essentially an evil person who’s a race traitor but my narcissism makes me think I’m an ally – but I wish that people who are white and left wing could parse their own outrage with more intelligence and humility. Listening won’t kill you and it’s not safe for POCs to be around you as you’re processing your feelings, since you’ll probably say something racist and not even realize it because duh intersectionality.
Read
Listen
Go away and think about it
Integrate
Reiterate
Engage when your heart is soft
