sad loss

I haven’t received official word, but it appears we’ve lost a family member.

Paul got to his appointment yesterday. It was dark when we got back and I realized it was the first time I had driven in the dark for years. Unpleasant; I managed to get lost in my own old neighbourhood for about two seconds (I turned right one turn too early, had to make a left turn onto 16th during rush hour. LOL no.)

It’s 3 am and I’m up so I’m making coffee.

Gosh I’m sad right now.

pOp is on the mend, word comes.

 

Quick visits

I went to the pharmacy finally, start the diuretic this am. I shall pee with even more vigour than I do now, oh doodie.

I visited with Ruth and Lois at Caspell Junction. Both the kids were there. Ruth made a roasted yam and pomegranate seed green salad and I made myself tea and brought the chicken wings I prepared the other day (oven baked from scratch, thank GOD I bought kitchen shears, they make wing prep go MUCH faster). They got reheated along with leftover schnitzel from Balkan house in the air fryer so it was quite a lovely meal of fresh and toasty items.

Lovely (and brief, only two hours) visit, simply topped me up. Ryker is getting molars so he keeps being super busy and then grizzling; chasing after the indoor drone and grizzling, tripping over shit and grizzling. At the same time he was sweet and I got one mini cuddle with him.  Even people he live with swear he’s grown in the last week. He will be his father’s son and simply IMMENSE.

Dax was there and loaned me a DVD; he then left for home to do laundry. How long he and Caspell Junction will be two separate households is anybody’s guess but civility reigned for the occasion so I’m going to keep comments and speculations off line.

Ruth looks great and Lois has grown her hair out long so we’re all silver sisters together. They sat down with Paul previously and worked through many of the issues that have been keeping us up at night with the family and all, and them stepping up like this was matched by how amazingly compliant Paul was with them. Honestly I’d like to see anyone stand before their combined energy and blow them off. Good luck chuckles as John might say.

Keith got his ‘Christmas present’ – money. He intends to buy something entirely frivolous and computer related, which is fine by me. Katie already got her money.

Katie looked happier than I’ve seen her in ages.

THEN in a beautiful example of how nothing happens to me for weeks and then boom, Mike turned up with a new Larrivée spruce top ukelele (for himself I hasten to add) which cost an insane amount of money, but I laughed playing it, it is SO LOUD and the intonation is nothing short of spectacular. I played my ‘Fantasia on the Elementary Theme by Sean Callery’ and ‘the Vancouver song’ and ‘The Friend who bought me this ukelele’ and whatever else I’ve worked up on that instrument and he wants tablature for a couple of those so that will keep me busy; I’ve never used Finale to generate tabs so excellent chance to practice my skills.

We ordered White Spot for delivery (Mike paid, bless him), drank dealcoholized beers, watched some Rick and Morty and rewatched the first ep of Wednesday so Mike could get its measure. Then about 7 he went home. Work continues to be foul and hauling two shifts, one for here and one for training in the Philippines. He’s exhausted and has a permanent sleep deficit and insomnia and he’s just going to collapse if this keeps up but that’s capitalizm for ya.

And of course with that much social contact I was both exhausted and buzzing.

12261 words

wonderful housefilk

Paul was in excellent form and let the singing for a couple of tunes including the Co-pilot song (followed by Cindy’s filk of it for Stargate Atlantis), Save a Fighter Pilot’s Ass, and It takes a lot to laugh it takes a train to cry. He borrowed Jeffrey’s guitar.

Then he did something I had to pull Peggy aside and explain about. Optimism is not the long term plan. Nobody was ‘impacted’ but it was concerning.

Jeffrey and Jeri Lynn were in fine form and have since arrived back home to their cats and their comfy bed, safe. Everyone enjoyed lunch – I ordered from Big Star and Jeffrey and Jeri Lynn are now converts – she got the number 1 which allows you to experience Thanksgiving in a sandwich.

Keith made and Katie containerized beef stew. Unbelievably good although his use of thyme is liberal and to my taste buds lingering at the doorway of excessive. Jeff if you want any better get at it.

Just have to hit save on this; the wind is unbelievable right now and the power could die at any minute. My laptop’s charged, Jeff’s loaner non-phone likewise, I’ve had coffee and stew, let the day drop down on me.

I wrote 41 whole words yesterday. I could say something rude at this point but I’ll do the NYT wordle and my Lumosity training instead in case the power dies.

Alex, bless her, provides the illo

She forwarded a bunch of housefilk pics from The Dawn of Time, let us just say the best part of 15 years. That’s her, Tom L, not sure and Peggy on standup bass (probably sometime around 2007 but why let facts intrude.)

Emotionally the effect of seeing Paul every day for a week is difficult. However he was perfectly happy to be left at Peggy’s at 4 pm, which was my “I’ve been doing unpaid family related babysitting for two different generations for eight hours and I haven’t pull a full work shift since 2017 so I’m done” o’clock. Yes it was nice to see Alex yesterday (he showed off more pictures, and I loaned him the Kaossilator and Keith finally got home from his morning of difficult appointments) and I fed him and got fed on Keith’s tortellini stew (nice because Paul plated and warmed it for me) but I was ready to go home at one and I hadn’t even made it to Peggy’s yet. So he either walked home (1.9 k in perfect weather, well within his max cap) or Jeff C, being one of the good ones, gave him a lift.

When I got home Jeff had supper ready for me. I nearly burst into tears I was so relieved. Then we watched Farscape and Elementary and tried to watch Iké (a movie) but Jeff bailed.

It was delightful and sad to hear Jeff C. relate the circumstances around his father’s death and funeral (the sound system went berserk and yelled in God Voice BE NOT AFRAID while Jeff was at the lectern which is just typical Jeff; the world is an anecdote waiting to be recounted and his life is merely one strand of it.) He also talked about family history and it was very interesting. His father was abandoned by his mother to his grandmother when he was tiny. He had continuity of care but you never get over your mother going WELP DINNA CANNA. And he was organized enough to arrange to buy an anniversary card and sign it while he still could, so he was in the ground four months when his widow got the card…. very organized. Also kind of I don’t know what word to use, uncanny mebbe.

Jeri Lynn spun, using her extremely sophisticated modern spinning wheel (many bits to fall off, and they all tried to at some point), and I got to feel her skeins of unspun wool, including some baby alpaca MAN YOU WANT SOFT you will go into a swoon touching it. She was also previously baking, rolling out spice cookies with a complicated rolling pin when we arrived.

Cindy and Jas were there making Christmas cookies (the real point of the weekend) because Peggy causes someone to bring the spare stove upstairs and then they (the American Thanksgiving baking team) cook nonstop for a couple of days. I am subsidizing lunch today and it will be either ARGO or Big Star. I’m thinking Big Star and I’ll pick up a side salad. Jas was wearing a t-shirt that said ASK ME ABOUT MY HOST ORGANISM and I complimented him on it.

Brooke was in a corner doing a 100 pattern blackwork circle sampler (in multiple colours of course) and swapping Pokémons with Jeri Lynn, Greg was there ingesting hot chocolate and computer games (much as Alex would do were he there).

Finally put gas in the Echo Paul loaned me. I’m considering taking it to someplace to get the fluids checked. I won’t do it and I don’t know when Paul last did.

We didn’t bring instruments. It was my judgement that a) there are enough quality guitars in the house LOL and we haven’t seen Jeff and Jeri Lynn in yonks so let’s visit and do the music the next day (they leave today but later).

I’ll be picking Paul up around 11:30 and then we’ll drive over and I’ll order lunch for the folks. I’ll also pick up a bunch of side salads so we get our veggies.

I feel beat and I just woke up. It will be another long day; enjoyable, but it’s hard.

from theconcealedweapon on tumblr:

What an autistic person says: “How long is it going to take?”

What they mean: “I want to know whether to activate my short term waiting mode where I just wait and do nothing else, or activate my long term waiting mode where I occupy my mind with something else. I fully understand that both are possibilities, and I have no problem whatsoever with either one, but I want more information so I can best adapt to the situation.”

What neurotypical people hear: “I am impatient and demand that everything I want happen right now. Please scold me and publicly humiliate me for it.”

I’ll be talking to the fam about how much I can do with Paul and how many hours in one day/week I can manage, because if this keeps up I’ll get sick. These days I spend so much time every day crying I feel like I’m sick already.

pot8um on twitter:

So many things are out of kids’ control— uncomfy clothes, loud noises, icky food, confusing rules… As an adult, I make my own choices. I wear, eat, and do what I like, because if I don’t, I get overloaded. That’s why I don’t remind you of your 8-year-old autistic nephew.

housefilk

Peggy and a contingent from the US are housefilking this weekend and I hope to take Paul over this afternoon for a visit with the folks.

Yesterday was another challenge; Paul couldn’t log in to his computer so I ended up over at his house twice, once to bring Katie cinnamon buns before she left for work and once to get him and his computer here so Jeff could inspect it. Fed him some tea but had to take him straight home because Keith was going out and wasn’t able to sit Alex. Jeff fixed it of course. This morning I have to go over to Katie’s and hang with Alex for a couple of hours since it’s a PRO-D day and apparently I’m there to enrich his day. Anyway I went a little nuts at the butcher shop as one does when one is remarkably pleasure deficient.

I do not want interacting with Paul to become an ongoing unpaid job but I do not know how to set boundaries with someone with anosognosia. I mean I could try, but if someone is sick and doesn’t have any insight into it what are the rest of us supposed to do.

Talked to Dave on the phone. He suggested Jeff and I try ‘sort of’ which is a CBC show.

Andor first season finale sticked the landing, absolutely superb, no notes.

Farscape continues to be em single weirdest show ever committed to pixels. Brisco County continues to be good clean fun.

No photo description available.

bottom of a gold Mycenaean bowl photo credit @ArysPan

walking in Foreshore and running errands

That was my day yesterday.

Went to Paul’s place to pick him up. Suzanne was there for babysitting Ryker and doing the house – Ryker was asleep when I got there and Katie was out buying work boots – and Paul took so long to get ready I fucking near left without him. Everything is hella slow. Some days I put up with it better than others. Keith mocked me for my asking Paul to shake a leg.

Then checked with him whether he actually had insurance on the car he loaned/gave/handed to me and rather than getting mad at me he just said yes. As Keith has mentioned previously he’s had lots of time to get used to my style.

We went to Foreshore first. I tried to get the little birdies to come to the sunflowers but they were not interested. It was a pleasant walk in the warm sun and the cool breeze, not too many people, and after that we went to the library to drop off Wilful Blindness by Sam Cooper, “The Single Most Depressing Non Fiction Book I’ve Read Since King Leopold’s Ghost”. Then after that to the bank machine at the London Drugs Mall aka the forgettably named Westminster Centre, and then London Drugs itself, where I got a finger splint for Jeff’s ouchy, some dental instruments and finally a bath brush and some of that blueberry acai chocolate candy that I’m addicted to.

Then we went to the Pho Edmonds and I had my usual, the #32 (this time with extra salad and as always it was delicious, filling and a good value), and Paul had a small pho but no spring rolls this time and paid because the last time I paid for the hot and sour soup and sticky rice at Lougheed Mall which they are now trying to call “The City of Lougheed Shopping Centre” which is quite frankly the least exciting and most bloatedly non-informational thing you could call the second biggest shopping mall in Burnaby, after Metrotown, which got its moniker from a town planner in Baltimore in the 60s. OH THE EXCITEMENT OF RETAIL

Lois and Ruth are coming to see their bro in early December. They won’t be here long, sadly, but I am looking forward to seeing them SO BAD.

Today, since Jeff is now caught up on his laundry, I’m going to wash clothes, towels and rugs for a while. A long, long while. And I’m investigating going back on my schedule since my turnip tendencies are starting to irritate me.

Wordle in five this morning. I changed my starter word and that sort of foozled me for a while, but I got it without cheating, so there’s that.

3249 words on ‘special deputy’

9952 words on ‘totally boned’

And I wrote a new poem but I’m not posting it because I’m not really keen on it and I didn’t write it for a mass audience so I sent it to mOm.

 

 

The washer has arrived

It is a brand new top loader. Jeff smashed his left baby finger tip in the process of helping get it into the house; I’d provide a picture but mOm would o,O if she saw it (think of an anxious owl.)

I was supposed to hang with Paul but he never called me back.

Rob W., may the goddess adorn him, showed up with an axe and a plan, but we told him we have to wait for ‘the professionals’ who are being paid by the insurance company to get that treefall fixed, so we gabbed for a couple of hours and then I made him tea and kicked him out. He left his hat.

 

walkies

Jeff frowns, swings closed

Jeff and I went for a little walk in the gorgeous sunshine yesterday afternoon. Jeff said that he should go for a walk and I said, “I’m going to stagger up the stairs, stagger up the hill to the park and stagger back again,” and he thought I was joking; he joined me after watching me put my shoes on. This is the same park at the start of the pandemic; the logo has all washed off that hoodie but the hoodie remains.

I missed the DD celebration yesterday. I am not sad, I don’t feel sad. I am somewhat immobilized though.

Russians out of Kherson. They’re starting to put anti tank cement blocks on their side of the border, which triggered Finnish Twitter to do a most pointed and technical takedown of how insanely useless it all was. (Altho the discussion was in Finnish you can translate tweets on the fly and man the Finns were just shaking their heads, it was wonderful. There were also comments that since it WAS useless, some oligarch musta got paid for it, ten times what it’s all worth. Lovely.)

Supposedly the new washer will come in the downstairs back door around 11 am today. No movement on the tree, not that I’d expect it on Sunday.

 

by aquilegiaformosa on tumblr
guys we’re not being cringe to keep out the twitter users. we’re being cringe to keep out the ALGORITHMS, the CAPITALISTS, the INFLUENCERS. twitter users are welcome as long as they agree this site is UNMARKETABLE

In other words become ungovernable by being someone you can’t make money from…. by being cringe. You know who’s cringe ? autistic people, by virtue of the intensity of their many hobby horses.

I prefer to be ungovernable by having my own website, that nobody ever looks at, but which will be invaluable to my family after I’m dead. That’s how things work. It’s the longitudinal and continuous energy of it, not the content, necessarily.

Worked on yet another fanfic, “Special Deputy on the Run” yesterday.  I’ve poked into the file for Part II but I think I added 36 words.

The amount of shit kicking Zibethicus (my name for Elon, means muskrat) has taken on the internet is amazing. In a few short weeks he’s scorched his fortune, facing a lawsuit for over 50 billion dollars from a former investor choked that he essentially stole shares from Tesla, received the brickbats of the commentariat and been held up as a model of everything not to do in business. Every time he says so much as boo on twitter hundreds of thousands of people tell him he’s a fucking idiot; it’s glorious, but not enough to get a twitter account.

Continuing counts in the US election still trend Biden’s way. They didn’t poll people who never voted LOL__  so many pundits have tender buttskin hanging out on this that another public spirited activity on twitter these days is going through the pundits’s last two weeks of salty prognostications and retweeting it, saying things like THIS AGED LIKE MILK or DO YOU SUPPOSE YOU WILL EVER BE RIGHT ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT AS THE SPECTRUM FOR YOUR POLITICS etc etc.

It is GLORIOUS and marvellous in our eyes. The night show hosts are having a field day.

Mitch McConnell, easily one of the most corrupt and disgusting politicians in American history, is not Senate GOP Leader any more, and rumblings are someone is going to grab his 15 year old perch in the Senate. The people who are candidates in replacing him aren’t as likely to be as competent at either whipping votes or stealing anything they can reach.

We are about six episodes into Farscape. Every episode is weirder than the next. Truly bizarre show.

Virtually every pediatric ICU in the country is at double capacity. There are so many sick children that you cannot buy children’s aspirin in this country right now.

Spoke to Tammy on the phone the other day, she called. She confirmed that she’s coming at Christmas and I’m seeing her on Boxing Day.

 

a day of pizza

Made vegan pizza; home made dough, soy mozzarella, WF brand pizza sauce, capers, roasted mushroom and red and yellow pepper, a solid plank of sliced tomatoes, capers, fresh red pepper. Jeff pronounced it tasty. I should have left it in the oven longer; next time I’m going to bake the veggies, whip it out and add the cheese last.

Ate it with Paul and Jeff after the Foreshore walk.

Took Paul to Fraser Foreshore. Despite my being prepared, the little tweeting birds did not come to me. Paul is as cheerful as ever, but watching him slow down to do up his jacket and then not be able to do it makes me sad for him. I ended up doing it for him and he thanked me. He’s also having trouble with buttons. I once loved that man so unreasonably much and now it’s like watching a snowman melt, as I shore up my love and loyalty on a daily basis. And I feel like a bad person, over and over again.

We watched Sharpe’s Waterloo and the last Hornblower. We are about to exit the Napoleonic Era.

Absolutely no action on the downed tree. New washer is to come on the 9th, I’ll believe it when I see it. Next door neighbour who owns that house wants to know what’s happening. I’ll call Kim again today.

I don’t really have any other news and I’m feeling a little beat up. Peggy’s filk didn’t happen since she had no power at her house after the storm.

Working my way through the instruction book on the guitar.

The return of the catfather

Buster was waiting on the back stairs for Jeff upon his return, which made for a pleasant moment. Jeff has recovered from the grab bag of indignities that ferry travel subjects him to. Before his arrival I managed to get all the food containers and compostable trash dealt with so the kitchen wasn’t armpit high in trash.

Continue reading The return of the catfather

Anthony Rapp’s response + miscellany

What Rapp says is so dignified. Kevin Spacey is still a predatory asshole and I’ll sing it from the housetops.

 

“I am deeply grateful for the opportunity to have my case heard before a jury, and I thank the members of the jury for their service.”

“Bringing this lawsuit was always about shining a light, as part of the larger movement to stand up against all forms of sexual violence.”

“I pledge to keep on advocating for efforts to ensure that we can live and work in a world that is free from sexual violence of any kind. I sincerely hope that victims can continue to tell their stories and fight for accountability.”

Laryssa Gervan of Vancouver came up with a lovely GRAVE ON FOODS so much mortality in store check out Halloween display

Laryssa Gervan of Vancouver came up with a lovely Halloween display, photo credit to her.

There’s more and more news saying that plastic recycling levels are dropping even as plastic consumption rises.

Don’t buy plastic if you can avoid it. (Link goes to a pop up Christmas store at the 28,000-square-foot Potters Nursery & Garden Centre in Surrey, now till Christmas. BLEAUGH I MEAN IT’S LITERALLY 28000 SQUARE FEET OF TOXIC PLASTIC FROM CHINA AND ELSEWHERE FILLED WITH LEAD AND CADMIUM.)

8649 words on Part II

Still loving Sharpe and Hornblower shows.

RNC demonstrates that it and the ignorant goofballs running it are incapable of understanding spam filters. They have sued Google. Good luck with that, all you Chucks and Karens.

Callister Brewing Company’s Wee Laird Wee Heavy Scottish Ale has won the Canada Beer Cup out of 1000 entrants. What can I say, Vancouver is a beery good place to live, eat and drink.

In more beer news, someone stole Steamworks Brewing’s newest beermobile. IT’S BRIGHT FUCKING ORANGE PEOPLE. This town needs an enema, and I’m unsure where to jam that nozzle cause there be so so so very many bums. Steamworks Beer Mobile Vancouver

slipping away

Poor Paul. He used to sew things, but that hasn’t been for years. Yesterday he pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and told me he made it. I told him he hadn’t because he doesn’t handsew seams (all of his sewing was machine sewing) and he got all quiet and sad and I feel – and felt – like a jerk.

Everything else about our walk at Fraser Foreshore was exceedingly pleasant. The chickadees recognized us and put on an aerial display I HAVE NEVER BEFORE WITNESSED.

One of them did a 180 IN FRONT OF MY FACE to get my attention and beg for treats. One landed 4 inches from Paul’s elbow (he got to see it). And one of them flew into a tree and deliberately grabbed a branch with one claw and swung upside down to impress me.

You have never heard a white woman apologize so hard to anyone. ‘I AM SO SORRY I BROUGHT NO SUNFLOWER SEEDS I AM BAD’

After we picked up more coloured markers for Alex and Keith fed me a salami and swiss bagel for lunch.

Katie gave me a ride with Alex back to my place and currently he’s wrapped himself like a blanket burrito. He’ll awaken in an hour or so and then we can walk to Timmy Ho’s.

miscellany of

The US has declared a cold war on China with a recent move to cripple Chinese ability to make integrated circuits using the latest technology.

The timing

  • (10th anniversary of Xi Jinping’s ascension to power, Chinese ‘support’ for Russia (which has softened remarkably in the last few months),
  • tensions in the South China Sea in general and Taiwan in particular,
  • a 30% collapse of the housing market, the shakiness of rural Chinese banks (facing tremendous pressure from angry mortgagees),
  • continuing genocide against the Uyghurs (although China easily knocked down any attempt to discuss it at the UN level earlier this month),
  • home-grown activism (not well reported in Canada) about the continuing COVID lockdowns,
  • worst youth unemployment in many years (always a contributing factor to both war drums and civil unrest)

looks perfect unless you consider how many lives are at stake and that none of this is a freaking game.

I uphold the lives, worth and aspirations of the Chinese people and honour their revolutionary martyrs, cultural figures and great artists. The CPC including the army and its foreign agents currently active in Canada can go fuck it/themsself.

Walked in Deer Lake Park with Paul yesterday, came back for chicken barley soup and iced tea.

I got a fantastic night of sleep; practicing proper sleep hygiene made a sound difference.

6561 words on Part II

Lovely pile of kudos from AO3 in the inbox this morning.

Totally enjoying Sharpe’s Stories!

Hope to call some friends on the phone today and catch up.

I need a picture of the Camaro for Suzanne.