Or it would have if today was Oct 2, 2021!
And here’s a song to celebrate it.
Alexios the murder hobo
ran around ancient Greece
He loved to deal out mostly dealt in violence (pron VOI LINCE)
And he dealt it out piece by piece
He’d skulk run around the market square
Inquiring if anybody needed as to anybody needing some murdering there
He’d take it on for a hefty price
And how he got it done wasn’t often the way he got things done (waaaaal) not very nice
chorus:
cause he’s a HOBO!
He’s a murderous
HOBO!
Out a-murdering…
HOBO!
He’s a murderous ….
but ya gotta love the way he loves to do his thing
Alexios the murder hobo
hailed from Thermopylae
Stabs folksbin’ people more or less at random
He really is quite one hell of a guy
He kills stabs by day, he stabskills by night
His armour gets the credit when he’s in a big-ass boss fight
He got a bird named Icarus
He always wears the sweetest little truss and he’s a
HOBO!
He’s a murderous
HOBO!
Out a-murdering…
HOBO!
He’s a murderous ….
but ya gotta love the way he loves to do his thing
Alexios the murder hobo
has everything an Ancient Greek needs
a fabulously stellar reputation
for ugly and horrific deeds
He’ll poison…. all the boys in your crew
and come back (or creep back) in the dead of night and do for you too
CHORUS
Alexios the murder hobo
goes shopping twice or thrice a day
If I spent that much time boutiquing
My folks would have me put away
The drachmae go ka-ching
on all that shiny bling
and man, how it must sting
to pay for anything
when you’re a HOBO
Retail sucks when you’re a hobo
out a murdering
Hobo, he’s a murderous
but you got to love the way he loves etc. etc.
>
Alexios the murder hobo
Has ships that run on magical oars
I don’t know who they’ve got below decks
I bet that they’ve got friction sores
The sails go up, the sails come down
the rigging defies physics and then BANG they run aground
And he’s a hobo, a right piratical hobo
out a-murderin’
Hobo, it’s legitimate salvage PLEASE NOTE BONUS EXPANSE REFERENCE
and you got to love the way he loves to do his thing
Chorus
Alexios the murder hobo
has one final mission to complete
Climb up every statue on the game map
and teabag them with rhythm sweet
He’ll scramble up
He’ll scramble down
Take a screen cap in the middle
and scramble out of town
Cause he’s a hobo, a pirate thief murdering pervert hobo
out a murdering
Hobo, he’s a murdering hobo
but it’s a filk crowd and now it is time for you to do your thing