Tea and cookies and porn this evening…
Lusty Neighbors and Pimp Primer – those were the titles of the flicks we watched at the November meeting of the Royal Vancouver Pornographic Society. They were grindhouse. Words cannot describe how execrable they were; they were about as erotic as a panhandler, as aesthetic as an airport washroom, and as well performed as a public school pageant. The dialogue raised hoots of derisive laughter at every turn.
Porn sure has changed. Nowadays everybody gets everything depilated and bleached; then, performers did their thang with visible bruises and scuff marks, pimples and back hair. And dirty feet, yeeech.
Anyway I was welcomed with cries of glee (I made biscotti) and was made to feel right at home. Things broke up around 10:30; I had the car until one so I gassed up, grabbed some groceries, unloaded them, and then took the car back to its stall (I had the Hyundai – the Prius was engaged) and walked home, where to my disGUST two younguns saw me coming and ran away so as not to be doing dope in front of me. I halfheartedly chewed them out and told them this is Vancouver and it’s your god given right to smoke drugs in public here. They offered me some but I declined, although I thanked them for being neighbourly. God almighty! Do I LOOK that old? I was walking briskly enough….
There’s a party next door. I was invited but I’m not attending. I took biscotti to thank them for inviting me earlier this evening. I will have enough left over to feed some coworkers tomorrow. Hey Paul if you read this do you want me to make a batch for your coworkers?
You’ve got a thing about dirty feet, don’t you?
It’s a good think you didn’t know me back when I was fire-walking.