Dear K and G,
The $xxxx.xx was not transferred into my account on Friday. I am curious. Did you folks, in the process of transferring my accounts out of one bucket into another, forget that I had a direct deposit set up?
What are the odds your company will recompense me for the overdraft charges I’ve incurred as a result of the mishandling of my money? Or am I going to get a polite version of ‘suck it up, buttercup’? It seems I have much to look forward to. I’ve been getting the deposits since July of last year, and two out of the seven deposits have been late so far…. Alas, my creditors aren’t as sloppy about dates as I am. It’s sad, isn’t it, how consistent and heartless my creditors are in the face of my incompetence. Yes, I take one hundred percent responsibility for the money not being in my account on Friday, because, after all, I chose you as my service provider and now I must live with the results. See how helpful I’m being? I told myself to suck it up.
I know that what I have parked with (your company) isn’t much money the way you folks calculate things, but it’s all I have, and you don’t need to keep custody of it, if it’s too much like work. Hope to hear from you on Monday to get this sorted out. I’ll be in a great mood, since I will have spent the whole weekend worrying about what’s happened to my retirement money.
Needless to say, I await their response with interest.
I just did something I’ve never done before. I had people doing Christian witness on my door step; I smiled graciously at them, said, “Sorry, I’m an atheist,” and closed the door. Seeing as how I was in the middle of writing the above noted letter, it wasn’t hard at all to be in a truth telling mood.