questions you needn’t answer

1. Just how incompetent IS the security guard at Lux?¹
2. What are the odds that a crow four kilometres away from my house that behaves familiar with me is actually one of the crows I feed from the deck?
3. Is there any market for a book about a single 2.5 km walk in Burnaby?
4. Is “I’m glad you’re okay?” the appropriate response to learning from one of your children that they nearly died in a workplace accident?²
5. Is their spouse being willing to show you the pictures of the aftermath in any way going to ameliorate the emotions arising from question 4?
6. Is Horgan going to cancel Site C? Will direct action be required?
7. What will be the consequences of the demographic crash? (triggered by the pandemic – but likely to continue due to the strange reluctance of the titans of industry to lobby for legislation to help manufacture the workers of the future.)
8. What does Mutual Aid mean to you?
9. If I asked you to be a pallbearer, what would you do? (This is actually a trick question. The correct answer is, remind me that I’m going to be cremated.)
10. Are Indigenous scientists going to save the world?³
11. Are Dominionists going to kill it?
12. Does the body still know best?

  1. in order for this to mean anything you have to know it refers to the fictional L.A. nightclub in the fictional show Lucifer, which is having an absolute WE DON’T CARE ABOUT NARRATIVE final season. I do not know whose fanfic this all is, but the implications are quite interesting.
  2. Katie has some spectacular bruises. She’s not taking questions at this time.
  3. As far as I can see yesss

Donald Trump’s month old blog scrubbed from internet – news

well I don’t have much going for me but I’ve managed to keep a blog running almost two hundred times longer than Donald Jerkwaddle Trump

 

And on a completely different subject, every time Disney does something really repellent, especially around gay people, I snark my ass off, because I have a bunch of hellagay friends who come within a c-hair of worshipping Disney and it’s just… so….wrong, but if I say something I’m peeing on someone’s fandom, etc so here’s me not making an ass of myself on social media but the five people who read this blog KNOW WHAT I THINK

oh how am I to speak the truth with love to you

otherwise known as the story of my fucking life

I initiated contact with a loved one, I got what I deserved. I am a sadder and wiser person. I have cried more tears, but that’s okay. You have to be alive to cry.

I reached out to other loved ones. Both responded more or less instantly, helps that it’s midday Sunday, I guess. They got a hand under me apiece with their soft words and kindness and then I told, hopefully briefly enough, the source of my woes to Jeff. I tried to watch March Madness with him but I’m too fidgety.

Please be nice to the people you love by asking them what constitutes nice for them. And then… behaving that way. You can’t be nice to a person who interprets your every breath as hostile.

I have a headache from crying and I need to stop looking at a screen but between that word and this I’ve put in 812 words on my novel. Watching history repeat itself is so hard, but being history is worse.

Wrote a letter to Lois.

I’m going to have the last of Mike’s congee, watch an Elementary with Jeff and CRASH.

on learning that Rush Limbaugh had departed this world

Speak nothing but good of the dead? I shall certainly oblige you in this instance, goodsir, most directly, by ejaculating: “He’s dead? good!”

 

I have to add, because I am a fucking asshole, that he leaves no children to grieve him, so either he was sterile or the women he married were smart enough not to breed with him. Sometimes a heavy hearted world catches a break.

I release myself

I hereby release myself from having to do weekly anything posts (I will when I feel like it), and all I’m going to concentrate on, since I’m doing OK not great, is posting tunes… and I did that today so progress has been made. Also, I think I have within me a much more detailed guitar accompaniment for Sisyphus.  Also I fired off the entire chapter Best Roommate in the World with a teaser for The Three of Us   … being the next chapter … to mOm. I’ve been writing a lot.

Jeff is helping me with my taxes again, which is really great, I only waited two years this time.

There’s a lot of snow. Jeff has dealt with it so far. I will look at it in the morning to see if my shovelling skills are required.

What, another lazy day

I continue to plug away at pre-posts on the blog. I am sleeping rather more and rather harder than I normally do, so maybe it’s a bug – not much sign of it – or maybe I’m just blue. I definitely feel better than I did at the beginning of the week.

Posted another fic on AO3. It was within 500 words of being finished so I polished and removed “wait, what?”s and added clarifications and removed extraneous words and synced up all the spellings and got rid of the britishisms and added the americanisms and shrank Dean’s spoken vocabulary (absolutely essential if you want the character voice to work properly) & ensured that you always knew who was speaking; now it’s sitting at 50 hits and 4 kudos. There’s character death in it so it’ll never be as popular as ‘le big one’.

tired now, think I’ll snooze

 

nice nap now  flower rolls

really not great

My mental health is as bad as it’s been in years. I won’t talk about the repetitive thoughts, the existential dread, the total sludginess, my disordered eating, how fucked and excessive my sleep is. Instead I’ll mention how happy  I am that Jeff ran that dishwasher this morning.  No crying though – that’s a blessing. I hate crying.

I will continue to work on posting songs.

Barry has written – he got two handwritten letters in one day, one from me and one from Mary. I laughed out loud when I read that. Only laugh I’m likely to get today.

I’m hoping picking up some books at the library will provide me with some lift, but right now I feel like rocketship 9 … looks fine, fails to light two engines, crashes…. but in my case, it’s not even a spectacular memorable crash, it’s just February, the light levels, the regular thing. AND STILL NO WORD ABOUT THE EEG I’m twisting in the wind here.

Fuck the deleted at Royal Columbian Hospital

this is a big jolly fuck you to the health records department at RCH who have now been holding up me getting the final administratium stone in place for treating a lifelong health condition
 
WHY YOU HAVE TO MAKE THIS SO HARD
I call them, I call my Dr.’s office, I call them, I call my Dr.’s office, I call them, I call my Dr.’s office, and fuck them, seriously.
And this is why adults with ADD don’t get diagnosed and treated; you have to be a responsible adult with a support system and funny thing about that.
UPDATE JAN 29TH rrrffrrrrr it was actually the neurologist HASN’T READ IT YET so I now have spoken to everyone involved in this cluster barring the neuro and so it’s all HIS fault.

I will not be buying this software today

open this image in a new screen to embiggen

When you go to the checkout (SchedulePress individual, on sale for $39 now!) and this appears, do you back away slow? or do you back away fast, take a snapshot, and then send it to customer support because you’re a dirty great cow!?

Yes, I went for option 2. (Later, no, I didn’t bother. My classic laziness reasserted itself.)

I guess I AM REALLY PISSED OFF about how within two seconds of my having installed it they were bugging me to review it. SO I DID I gave it a good review, not five stars because I haven’t used it all, but it looked good so…

Now every other day I’m being asked to review the software, and every other day I type in “I already reviewed it,” so

candidly

I think this is the kind of thing I’m allowed to whine about.

And since the iteration I have is free, I need to find another kind of software. brO it was a great suggestion and I was using it, but this is… suboptimal

power failures

3 in one 24 hour period. Killed one of Jeff’s router power supplies. Resetting clocks over and over. Power failures feel weird now; like we’re prepping for the big one, like civil unrest is ‘about’.

Funny tale of waking up: I tossed my fluffy hoody into a laundry hamper but when I woke up this morning it looked like a sandworm head coming out of the floor and I almost squawked in terror.

Biscotti in oven for Tom. I cleaned the racks and wiped down the interior of the oven, it’s started to smell oily and smoky. Soon, Time Team (we’re in the last season unhappy sigh) and running the dishwasher and the rest of the day gets underway.

Total word count 9189 on Best Roommate. In this latest bit, Amorfo came to pick up the sproing and scared the living shit of Keegan.

Watched the movie Synchronic. I liked it – there are some visuals that were quite striking and the basic concept is interesting. It is a B movie – very earnest and low key. The final shot has an element of ambiguity, but it also contains friendship, which is kind of the point. Anthony Mackie is quite good.

I blew an incredible kazoo solo this morning. I can only ask an intemperate universe that Jeff had his gd headphones on.

still no eeg results

I’ll call the clinic again next Monday. Many things slow down over the festive season so even though it was supposed to be ready it probably isn’t, yet.

You know Hudson & Rex is a terrible advertisement for St. John’s, right? One percent of the population is Black and that’s not how the show demographics works…. also…. you know that they have like a murder a year and so in the first episode they blow through the murder rate like theysa going backwards.

Georgia turned blue, but it was the rest of us holding our breath. FUCK MITCH MCCONNELL.

While I’m in the mood, FUCK AIR CANADA.

If that link disappears, it’s to a story claiming that Air Canada is sending influencers on holiday to sunny places to pad their advertising budgets during A GODDAMNED PANDEMIC ….I mean I knew they were slimy bastids but that’s low.

Buns dough is in the bread-maker. I really am fine with never eating white bread again if I can have yummy brown bread buns fresh out of the oven within 2 hours of conceiving the notion.

In 774 AD the biggest coronal mass ejection in 10k years hit the earth. (Per Phil Plait the Bad Astronomer.) If the same thing hit the earth today satellites would plummet, the grid would fail, the internet would fly up its own asshole and choke and it would be weeks in many places and years in others before the power came back on. So thank your lucky stars you only live in an earthquake zone, lol

I’ll be wandering over to Planet Bachelor later today.

Letters to two Daves in the mail today. pOp’s getting a very big sketch of Baby Yoda.

No progress on UPSUN.