Pointless, but o so satisfying – Rogers letter

Office of the President
100 Westmoreland St
Moncton NB
E1C 0G1

customer.service@rci.rogers.com

Dear People,

As an aside.  Office of the President, my lavishly upholstered sitzplatz.  Who on earth are you trying to fool?

I would like to advise you folks that you have something seriously, seriously broken with your customer support.

It’s not that the phone I paid for over many years dropped calls and generally did unspeakable things to long dead goats for the duration of its life; nor that Rogers made transferring ownership of the account to someone else, ie the person who was using the phone during that time, impossible; not that going to paperless billing after I was harassed into it nearly wrecked my credit and how I had to go back to asking you to kill trees to bill me, because your website is a universe-destroying abyss of suck; nor that your pricing was abominable, because all Canadian cell phone pricing, thanks to the CRTC, sucks a Greyhound bus station men’s room mop; nor that every person I spoke to in customer service sounded like they’d all been whipped and shown pictures of puppies being tortured prior to being allowed the privilege of answering the phone for you….

Nope, this is something quite simple.

Your accounts receivable department…. an important department to be sure …. DOESN’T LEAVE A MESSAGE when it calls.  No name, no TELEPHONE number.

Does anybody see the delicious irony in how A TELEPHONE COMPANY …. because in essence, that’s one of the arms of the Rogers cephalopod … doesn’t leave a TELEPHONE NUMBER when it’s harassing customers to pay up?

I owe Rogers money.  I feel quite comfortable saying this.  I owe you money, and I’m gonna KEEP on owing you money until I get a final, paper bill.  I have no intention of giving you any money until I get my last piece of mail from Rogers.

Yes, I owe you from the previous month.  Yes, I’m supposed to keep my account in good standing.  Yes, there were a few months in that three years when I didn’t pay promptly, but I always cleared my account.  Not the best customer, far from the worst.

I cancelled my account.  Let me repeat that.  I cancelled my account.  I will never, ever, so long as Rogers is a legal entity and the Dominion stands, buy a Rogers product or service again.

Here’s my earnest request.  Give me a paper bill after November 14 and in the meantime, leave me alone.  Not because I don’t owe you some money, oh yeah, I do.  But because your system is too stupid to advise the poor sods who work for you to LEAVE A NUMBER where they can be reached.

As a phone company – or a feeble simulacrum of one – Rogers does not deserve to survive.  If we had American style competition in this country (and no CRTC), not that I want it but in Rogers’ case I’ll make an exception, Rogers wouldn’t survive into its third year.

I promise I’ll pay up, but if your poor accounts receivable employees or collectors or whatever stupid weasel word you use, don’t start leaving a number where they can be reached, I’ll be advising my brother, with whom I live, and who has received EVERY ONE OF YOUR CALLS so far, just to hang up if you don’t reach me in person.

My regards to the workers of Rogers, all of whom probably need that crappy job or they would indeed be working elsewhere; as for the management, may the great winnowing fan of Capitalism wreak its havoc on you soon.

Allegra Sloman
Proud to be a recovering Rogers customer

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Allegra

Born 1958. Not dead yet.

2 thoughts on “Pointless, but o so satisfying – Rogers letter”

  1. excellent bit there
    Unfortunately, I have found that all phone companies use the same ‘customer service’ paradigm. Bell also is short on leaving phone #s. Mind you, Bell had the smarts to send my account to collections 3 months after it was paid in full (and the line disconnected).
    I also wonder why communications companies refuse to allow the client to leave a message. After all, they have the technology…

  2. You have generated a lot of comments!

    And I do love your invective – SO telling, and just short of libelous…

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