This is from 11 years ago. How much, how little has changed.
You’re half way through a meeting before you realize you’re in the wrong
one.
You know there is test equipment around, you just don’t know where it is
or who’s using it.
All the available power supplies are broken. (What do we make again?)
You can monopolize three test benches and nobody cares as long as it looks
neat.
When you meet co-workers at the bar on Friday there is always a new face.
The waitress at the golf course knows you better than your co-workers.
You go to a meeting after working at the company for three months and are
jolted out of a pleasant doze when your manager refers to you as “one of
the old hands”.
The temps last longer than the salaried employees.
Nothing makes sense, but it’s consistent.
You are told in a meeting to embrace change, and when you raise your hand
to say you’d rather fuck it doggy style, half the room nods, but nobody
laughs.
Your idea of a good joke is to send a new employee up to “The Dude We Don’t Name who used to be the CEO” to slap him on the back and call him Mo.
Half the employees can’t make road trips to the States because of what’s
in the ashtrays. “Better use your car, sir.”
At any given time, at least one of the following is down or MIA:
1. The security system
2. The bathrooms
3. The coffee machine
4, The switchboard
5. The speakerphone in the boardroom
6. The photocopier
7. Morale
8. Air quality
But the network is up all the time…..
We already know how much we could be making in the States…. the same as
now, in US dollars.
Nobody knows who’s repping what account, but somehow the orders get
entered.
You’re used to taking customer calls with nailguns going off in the
background.
The one place you can be sure not to run into your boss is the gym.
Following someone into the bathroom to continue a conversation is normal.
Following a member of the opposite sex into the bathroom is still frowned
on.
People don’t talk about cubicles…. they talk about Territorial
Ambitions.
You hate the people who can still laugh at work.
There seems to be a “Most annoying cellphone ringing contest” but nobody
has told the contestants that first prize is having a filing cabinet
tipped over on them.
You have 4 stages of employment:
1. Chipper, but up to the challenge
2. Deer in the headlights, brink of panic
3. Full blown hysteria.
4. Amusement at the people going through the first 3 stages.