walkies

Jeff frowns, swings closed

Jeff and I went for a little walk in the gorgeous sunshine yesterday afternoon. Jeff said that he should go for a walk and I said, “I’m going to stagger up the stairs, stagger up the hill to the park and stagger back again,” and he thought I was joking; he joined me after watching me put my shoes on. This is the same park at the start of the pandemic; the logo has all washed off that hoodie but the hoodie remains.

I missed the DD celebration yesterday. I am not sad, I don’t feel sad. I am somewhat immobilized though.

Russians out of Kherson. They’re starting to put anti tank cement blocks on their side of the border, which triggered Finnish Twitter to do a most pointed and technical takedown of how insanely useless it all was. (Altho the discussion was in Finnish you can translate tweets on the fly and man the Finns were just shaking their heads, it was wonderful. There were also comments that since it WAS useless, some oligarch musta got paid for it, ten times what it’s all worth. Lovely.)

Supposedly the new washer will come in the downstairs back door around 11 am today. No movement on the tree, not that I’d expect it on Sunday.

 

by aquilegiaformosa on tumblr
guys we’re not being cringe to keep out the twitter users. we’re being cringe to keep out the ALGORITHMS, the CAPITALISTS, the INFLUENCERS. twitter users are welcome as long as they agree this site is UNMARKETABLE

In other words become ungovernable by being someone you can’t make money from…. by being cringe. You know who’s cringe ? autistic people, by virtue of the intensity of their many hobby horses.

I prefer to be ungovernable by having my own website, that nobody ever looks at, but which will be invaluable to my family after I’m dead. That’s how things work. It’s the longitudinal and continuous energy of it, not the content, necessarily.

Worked on yet another fanfic, “Special Deputy on the Run” yesterday.  I’ve poked into the file for Part II but I think I added 36 words.

The amount of shit kicking Zibethicus (my name for Elon, means muskrat) has taken on the internet is amazing. In a few short weeks he’s scorched his fortune, facing a lawsuit for over 50 billion dollars from a former investor choked that he essentially stole shares from Tesla, received the brickbats of the commentariat and been held up as a model of everything not to do in business. Every time he says so much as boo on twitter hundreds of thousands of people tell him he’s a fucking idiot; it’s glorious, but not enough to get a twitter account.

Continuing counts in the US election still trend Biden’s way. They didn’t poll people who never voted LOL__  so many pundits have tender buttskin hanging out on this that another public spirited activity on twitter these days is going through the pundits’s last two weeks of salty prognostications and retweeting it, saying things like THIS AGED LIKE MILK or DO YOU SUPPOSE YOU WILL EVER BE RIGHT ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT AS THE SPECTRUM FOR YOUR POLITICS etc etc.

It is GLORIOUS and marvellous in our eyes. The night show hosts are having a field day.

Mitch McConnell, easily one of the most corrupt and disgusting politicians in American history, is not Senate GOP Leader any more, and rumblings are someone is going to grab his 15 year old perch in the Senate. The people who are candidates in replacing him aren’t as likely to be as competent at either whipping votes or stealing anything they can reach.

We are about six episodes into Farscape. Every episode is weirder than the next. Truly bizarre show.

Virtually every pediatric ICU in the country is at double capacity. There are so many sick children that you cannot buy children’s aspirin in this country right now.

Spoke to Tammy on the phone the other day, she called. She confirmed that she’s coming at Christmas and I’m seeing her on Boxing Day.

 

Still no washer, still no tree fix

I’m going to take my meds and ignore the world right now. Filk cancelled again, and although it’s Dorothy Dunnett day I have concerns about zooming for a meeting today… oh well.me in the water in the Dominican Republic

I have no idea where the above came from.

the hotel room in the Dominican Republic. A married couple who checked in at the same time got a room full of sewage for two days… this room was much better. Also a bottle of rum was like 4 bucks.

Katie was damned lucky I took a spare bathing suit. This is Saona Island.

arrival / New Poem – You are given 3 choices

Jeff is safely arrived; I am taking the talking bricks from my imagination and making sentences elsewhere, this morning, but took a break to say that.

I practiced guitar this morning and that inspired me to start writing. 8962 words already!

In the meantime, a squib.


You are given 3 choices

  1. I want nothing to do with you, white woman
  2. Please, if you can, demonstrate how you would ‘Scream for Jesus.’
  3. Debate with me the context and applicability of this art.

 


I know nobody else will enjoy this poem but I so enjoyed composing it that I felt obliged to share. “One art, please.” Ah, Zoidberg, I love you so much you borscht-belt Decapodion!

Futurama Zoidberg GIF - Futurama Zoidberg One Art Please GIFs

on Bowen Island

We are having the most lovely time.

We played spotify rounds last night and thus it was I found out I love Junior Brown and Paul Anka’s 2005 album ‘ROCK SWINGS’ where he frank sinatrafies modern hits. like black hole sun and wonderwall. IT’S FANTASTIC. Jeff and I laughed until we cried. “Und dis is ven I learnt that I AM AN OLDT FARDT!!!”

Our hosts are empty nesters. A human and dog friend came over and we watched Bear hump Maple until she got bored with it. Bear and Nelson are good friends with Maple.

The wifi connected instantly, I slept 9 hours last night – I literally faded at the stroke of 8 and woke up at 5.

Barbecue and summer squash from their garden for dins. SOOOO GOOOD

We’ll be grabbing a ferry home soon.

Suzanne hits a dinger

Aw jeez I’m dying here; Suzanne saw Janice on the sofa the other day at Caspell Junction and said (because her filter doesn’t always work) ‘WHO’S THAT???’ Janice did not acknowledge Suzanne’s existence. Suzanne was here today for the Enshinening and I laughed immoderately.

D.Y.I.N.G.

Anyway Paul drove her to the train station so she’s left town. I’m assuming Paul told her his medical news, but who knows.

Bowen this weekend.

sore

Slept a lot yesterday. I’m glad I’m not easily tired in a war zone, I might lie down and never get up. Driving for five and a half hours does that. We stopped twice on the way back, once for gas in Chilliwack (and the attendant laughed when I thanked him for the clean safe bathroom because at that point I was fair burstin’) and once at Hola Tacos in Cache Creek, which had the best goddamned pork taco I ever ate, and even better for Zanne because she just got diagnosed as celiac and can’t eat fast food except for a few items. We also drank Jarritos! she got a mango and I got a mexican cola, happy sigh. Technically we stopped three times because of the single lane situation on the highway, long enough for Zanne to get out and check where she hid her candy.

Currently planning a train trip to Toronto in the fall. There’s many a slip, of course, but it’s something to look forward to, and I have a long list of people to visit.

Heard from Mike; he sounds marginally more lively than the last time we spoke; it was lovely to hear his voice.

Off with Paul to the doctor today, pray for us all.

 

Trip report

As mentioned Suzanne did all the driving to the campsite. It is on Big Bar Road close to 70 Mile House. Photos and further details will not be provided. It’s all paved highway except for the last 25 or so klicks, which starts fine and gets progressively worse. There are half a dozen cattleguards on the road so even if you get to the decent speed of 50 kph you must immediately slow down.

During the trip I learned that she knows of a kitten source. I have discussed with Jeff. I hope to obtain a female tabby kitten. I said I wouldn’t but gosh darn it.

Our host, a brother in law of Suzanne’s, has a Ram 3500 Diesel Dooley with a 100 litre spare tank. He also owns a blue Ford tractor, a Case double ended back hoe, a quad with a box full of tree cutting implements, and the single most impressive trailer I’ve ever seen. It’s so impressive I’m going to go back into one of the fanfics I’m working on and rewrite it.

It has a Honda 6500 inverter genset; industrial cooling; a built in engine hoist (for game but sure, he could use it for that), a walk in fridge, a fifty inch tv, three INCREDIBLY COMFY BEDS; and a gunsafe. To say this guy is prepared for everything from a camping trip to a moose hunt to a zombie apocalypse is putting it mild. He installed hardwood flooring on the TRAILER CEILING. He is iggzackly the kind of guy you want on your team.

The property has a somewhat sulfurous artesian well (water is fit to drink, just a little skunky) and cold as anything. The well leaked – so after a great deal of fucking around on his part he got the overflow into a culvert across the road so there’s no flooding. He ended up with an artesian beer fridge / dog trough. There is nothing quite so satisfying as making up something to drink and then shot-putting it into a pond to chill. Suzanne

Stella the wonderdog is 14, black lab cross, grizzled but still lively, and she decided to follow and obey me at one point (she was tired and wanted her bed; I announced “I am going to bed” and she followed me and then I held back the mosquito curtain and got in the trailer and she followed me in and waited for me to clap my hands twice to join me on the sleeping platform. (I think she was tired of the mosquitoes). There’s no point complaining about the mosquitoes. I’m covered in bites. I didn’t want to be covered in DEET for the best part of a week, so I paid.

I had the sum total of one can of beer with supper the middle night, did not otherwise drink alcohol.

Apart from washing dishes, sweeping the outhouse before we left, writing some poems and driving back, I DID NOTHING but get sun, bug bites and a lot of fantastic sleep in the chill of a plateau night (screened windows wide open; after singeing hot days the nights were so cool it was delightful). The company was entertaining and educational (I believe he has memorized every single one of his moose kills for entertainment purposes and I had a mooseburger the first night) and all in all it was absolutely amazing.

Cell service is er spotty, so I’m just as glad I didn’t take any electronics.

Big Bar Lake is cold and beautiful. Loons can be heard at night. Eagles soar overhead during the day. Stridulating insects everywhere. Sulphur butterflies, mourning cloaks, some fritillaries. Chipmunks. Deer. Bears come through a couple of times a year. No cougars apparently. Very dusty; the place is still a construction site and our host built three courses of fence while we were there, took down tons of trees, replaced a tractor tire and was in general extremely hardworking.

I don’t even want to talk about it any more, I might jinx it. The co-owner is a drunken rude lazy fuck (I got AMPLE EVIDENCE FOR WHICH) but we stayed away from him and it didn’t impact our fun.

Suzanne is a miracle to camp with, she had everything. Her car was BUNGFUL. I drove back and we found a GENUINE MEXICAN TACO STAND in Cache Creek (‘Zanne is celiac so it was like YESSSS!) called Hola Taco. For five bucks we got a memorably delish pork taco with sauces and MEXICAN COLA yes.

Fire ban, but it didn’t bother us.

Host asked for my advice for playsets for grandkids. You know me, I got lots of ideas.

this email to me was entitled Letter from Mike

SO THE FEARLESS LEADER OF AIR CANADA HAS DUN IT AGIN

Dear Allegra,

Earlier this summer, I wrote to you about how conditions in the global airline industry were impacting you as a valued Air Canada customer and to recognize any inconvenience you may have experienced. In my letter, I also outlined the many initiatives we had undertaken to address these issues. WHILE COMPLETELY IGNORING THE FACT THAT WE THREW OUT HUNDREDS UPON HUNDREDS OF EMPLOYEES LIKE DISEASED GARBAGE. Today, I am writing to update you on the progress we have made to date to return our airline to its pre?pandemic standards of customer service. PROGRESS I THINK YOU WILL FIND IS NOT THE CORRECT WORD.

First, however, thank you for your continued loyalty to our company. NOPE. Virtually every week this summer, our traffic volumes have increased and are now nearing 80% of the number of customers we carried in 2019, our last summer before the pandemic. HOWEVER LOOK CLOSELY AT THE FACT THAT THEY HAVE NOT REHIRED 80 PERCENT OF THE PEOPLE AND HAVE MANAGED TO GLOSS THAT OVER WITH COMPLETE ELAN. It is evident people are keen to travel and all of us at Air Canada are proud that you are entrusting to us your very important travel arrangements. Let me assure you we understand our responsibility to meet your expectations. UNDERSTANDING THAT RESPONSIBILITY AND MEETING IT ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS.

However, welcome as the recovery is, the summer increase in traffic has also prolonged the pandemic’s disruption of our entire industry. ONCE AGAIN, YOU DON’T HAVE ENOUGH FUCKING STAFF AND BLAMING EVERYONE ELSE FOR WHAT HAPPENS TO YOUR CUSTOMERS GLOSSES OVER WHAT YOU DO INSIDE CANADA WHEN YOU DO HAVE ENOUGH STAFF. Airlines, airports, governments, and the other third?party suppliers are labouring like everyone else to return to normal. We have been working closely with our industry partners to remedy the situation and, while we still have much work to do, the results are trending positively, and customers are already experiencing the benefits directly when they travel.

As an intensely data driven organization, we can clearly see those areas that require more operational focus, as well as those that are showing improvement. In the spirit of transparency, I would like to share some metrics related to the areas that most immediately affect our customers. For the period June 27 to August 14, during which we carried approximately 6.4 million customers, the Air Canada family (including Air Canada, Air Canada Rouge and Air Canada Express), recorded the following operational improvements:
Flight Delays – Comparing the week of June 27 to the week of August 8, there was a 48% reduction or 1,160 fewer flights that took a delay longer than one hour. In addition, flight delays overall are getting shorter. For flights that experienced any delay, the average arrival delay during the week of June 27 was 28 minutes longer than the same week in 2019. As of the week of August 8, this had improved to 12 minutes. NONE OF WHICH COVERS WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE STUCK ON THE TARMAC FOR AN HOUR AT YYZ OR YVR IN JULY WITH NO FUCKING AIRCON.

Flight Cancellations – There has been a substantial reduction in the volume of flight cancellations. During the week of August 8, there was a 77% reduction in the number of cancelled flights as compared to the week of June 27. This translates into 960 fewer flights cancelled. Furthermore, flight completion, which is the percentage of all scheduled flights that are not cancelled, reached 96.7% during the week of August 8, which was less than one percentage point lower than the same week in 2019. The vast majority of customers experiencing cancellations, often due to weather or other unexpected factors, were able to travel within 24 hours. BETTER THAN ONE IN FIFTY ODDS YOU WON’T MAKE THAT FLIGHT.  YEAH.

Baggage Handling – The strongest area of improvement over this period can be seen in baggage handling, where the airline handles over 650,000 bags per week. During the week of June 27, mishandling rates per 1,000 customers were approximately 2.5 times the same number in 2019. As of the week of August 8, this rate fully recovered to 2019 levels with a baggage handling success rate of 98%. AS RASPUTIN J. NOVGOROD ONCE REMARKED THE MOST AWFUL THING ABOUT POSTAL STRIKES IS THAT ONCE THEY’RE OVER SERVICE RETURNS TO NORMAL. LOSING/MISDIRECTING/MISHANDLING ONE BAG IN FIFTY PER CUSTOMER – 2 PERCENT – IS GHASTLY

While these numbers are encouraging, TO WHOM, YOU PRECIOUS FOOL, our recovery remains very much a work in progress with a significant distance yet to be covered. Even with our success to date, we are committed to further improvement in those areas that we directly control and also by supporting our third?party partners, upon which we rely, as they too strive to return to pre-pandemic normalcy.

Finally, I would also like to take this opportunity to say that if you travelled recently, yet still encountered a disruption, we at Air Canada apologize for this. With an industry as complex as ours, WHICH NEEDS SO MANY EXPERIENCED STAFF, WHOM WE FIRED and dependent as it is on the coordinated performance of so many entities, recovering from an event without precedent like a global pandemic presents many challenges. For this reason, we appreciate your continued patience and understanding.

Thank you again for your loyalty to our company. Please be assured that all of us at Air Canada are preparing and eager to welcome you aboard and to transport you safely in the very near future.

Sincerely,

Michael Rousseau FOOL or TRICKSTER TAKE YOUR PICK
President and Chief Executive Officer
Air Canada

home a day early

For a variety of completely NON BAD reasons we came home a day early, and glad we are we did. She did all the northbound driving, I did all the southbound.

I had a fantastic time, met one of Suzanne’s inlaws, got rather closer to a wildfire (put out in two hours though) than was pleasant, saw a lot of wildlife, and thanks to said inlaw INSISTING THAT WE SLEEP IN HIS TRAILER, I had three nights of superbly restful sleep next to a beautiful elderly lab cross named Stella. At one point I was awake and they were snoring and it was all I could do not to laugh.

Suzanne and I got along fine and laughed our asses off. I will give you a hint in life. Take HER camping, not me, she’s prepared like a quartermaster….

Many more details will come later. It was FUCKING AWESOME.

leaving today

Bubs the Magnificent Baby, Alex and Katie just visited me and Ryker is SO HAPPY TO SEE ME HE SMILED SO HARD HE NEARLY SQUIRMED HIMSELF OFF THE BED and his mom cotched him and threw him up in the air while he fizzed with toothy mirth.

I have finished Shirlene Obuobi’s ‘On Rotation’ and it is a very satisfactory romance. VERY. I shall exercise my critical (not very) faculties on a full scale review shortly, but not right now.

Katie’s about to order us a McDonald’s breakfast and I am here for it, quite literally.

The psychiatric attic has once more been breached! it now reveals a View-Master. The box that the View-Master and the reels are was made by my maternal grandfather and when I reached into the box to randomly pull out a reel…..

IT WAS FOR THE ADDAMS FAMILY TV SHOW, IN COLOUR.

I think I probably screeched. John Astin as Gomez in a 1920’s style pure white driving costume? It with its hair in curlers? LOLOLOL. MORTICIA KNITTING? lololololololol guess what my mother was doing all day yesterday in the sunroom, it’s just TOOOOOO RICH

Making happy family memories is a wonderful process. Only people missing as descendants were Jeff and Keith. And you were both missed!

Absolutely no writing except for the blog and a couple of tweets.

 

lots on my mind

  1. much of it isn’t my story, so I sit by the side of the road
  2. Housefilk has been moved up to today. I wish I could stop feeling this bleak – Jeff got me CHEESE SCONES and COFFEE and both are excellent.
  3. weather remains fine
  4. The Russians keep providing the Ukrainians with proof of war crimes and the fact nobody on the Russian side seems to care indicates that they don’t actually believe any international justice apparatus will still be standing when they’re done.
  5. At this point I think we’ve got about 6 months left of ‘normal’ so it’s time to batten down. Start keeping more cash on hand, among other things.
  6. Anne Heche died of her injuries. Addiction is a terrible thing. I hope her kids have people they can trust with them and aren’t exposed to too much vileness. IN DECEMBER 2022 IT WAS REVEALED SHE DIDN’T HAVE ANY DRUGS OR ALCOHOL IN HER SYSTEM.  Lesson… don’t speculate on CoD until the coroner rules.
  7. preparations for camping trip have commenced – I need to find Jim E’s old camping list. Suzanne has already told me to expect to do as much driving as I can stand because ‘she wants to look at the view’ and I am HERE for that.
  8. off to Victoria soon for a flying visit more deets later
  9. I am hoping for a breakthrough on totally boned so I guess I’ve got a date with some 3×5 cards current count is 1663
  10. allegra sloman 13/8/2022 ‘Doing it badly’

mini trip

As a responsible adult I called Katie yesterday morning to let her know that Jeff and I were heading up the sea-to-sky highway to check out a provincial campground and park north of Squamish, to be back in the afternoon; I’d call her when we were home. In other words we drove all the way from Kikayt (New Westminster) southeast of K’emk’emeláy (‘place of maple trees’, aka Vancouver) all the way to Skwxwú7mesh Temíxw (Squamish Territory). The number seven or the special question mark is a glottal stop.

I had one job.

Only one job.

That was to tell Jeff when to turn off for Alice Lake. Could I? Did I? No. I didn’t see the sign until we were on it. Jeff turned around. There was a sign saying turnoff in one kilometre and we didn’t see the turn off. Going back north again from Squamish we saw TWO SIGNS for Alice Lake and finally managed the turn off. The campground itself is lovely, heavily treed and with two little beaches. Anyway, I marked the damned turnoff on the map with the kilometres and paid for Jeff’s gas (I hardly ever pay for gas, so I was due anyway).

It was a gorgeous trip, however brief, and if someone ever transcribed our joint running commentary from the dash cam we’d probably have to flee the province.

Jeff got us McDonald’s afterwards – I got my fries with no salt and they’re surprisingly good.

And I wrote a thousand words yesterday, 17865 is the count.

It was a good day.