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It’s all about a fannish party that gets a little, uh, surreal. The first two verses are more or less as it happened, and then it goes into the stratosphere of implausibility and meta. Well my momma lived next door to Bela Lugosi – he kept trying to give her cigars – and I was too polite to say, “I think you’re lying,” so I said, “Alan, I think you’ve been working too hard!” He said, “No, she really DID live next door to Bela, call her in Ft. Lauderdale and you will see!” I thought, I gotta think of something to one-up this puppy, so I dug down deep in my memory (and said)
“I was seen by our Royal Queen in my crib when I was less than a year! And she leaned right in, and she cooed so loud, my auntie and my grandma could hear! And then… they misspelled my name in a newspaper clipping, if I clap my hands it appears….” and he said,
“That’s real nice, but it cuts no ice, cause Bela Lugosi is the king around here (Bela Lugosi is the king around here, Bela Lugosiiiiii Bela Lugosi is the king around here, Bela Lugosiiiii)
Drunk woman interrupts: “Well I shared a cab with Sinead O’Connor. I could tell she’d kill for a smoke. I said, “As soon as we get out and hit the sidewalk, we’ll go someplace quiet and crack some jokes… wish ta hell I could remember, what she said, it was a cutting remark and she cut me dead -”
(Allegra sings the chorus) “I live in mortal fear that we’ll run out of beer, but Bela Lugosi is the king around here!” (Bela Lugosi is the king around here, Bela Lugosiiiiii Bela Lugosi is the king around here, Bela Lugosiiiii)
Extremely high and goony woman interrupts, “Well I want you all to know I had an alien’s baby, and everything came out fine, but the eyes, and when she smiles, all her teeth are a little bit pointy, and she never seems to be the least bit surprised. I showed her “Plan 9 from Outer Space” – she said, “That’s IT, I give up on the whole human race….”
Allegra exultantly sings the chorus, “HAVE NO FEAR, SOMEONE BROUGHT MORE BEER, And Bela Lugosi’s still the king around here….(Bela Lugosi is the king around here, Bela Lugosiiiiii Bela Lugosi is the king around here, Bela Lugosiiiii)
So now you know the backstory for this song I wrote about 20-25 years ago, just after I met the gentleman in the first verse, whose mother DID live next door to Bela Lugosi.
