meet the crew – Firefly filk

O the curve of her cheek is rare
and the sound of her voice makes you just not care
quality Companion for hire
if you’re knotted she’ll unbind you
if you’re tense she will unwind you
o ya she knows her stuff about desire

For a good man he’s awful awful bad
for a bad man he’s awful awful good
But in the black it’s understood
that you fight for ship and crew
and you fast learn what to do
if you’ve bitten off a mite more than you should

He can pilot anything that can be flown
and you haven’t seen a thing until you’ve seen him in the zone
Crazy Ivans just for fun
with aplomb and savoir faire
he will pluck you from midair
and blow your mind twice more before he’s done

She brings the sexy to the engine room
and she’s challengingly perky in the face of certain doom
Cuter than a bug, my, my
As she’s learning you your lesson
stay away from the Capissen
cause you know those engines fall clean from the sky

Well he din’t hire on for his brains
no, more for the occasions letting ‘Vera’ off the chain
Not exactly Mr. Tact
But a demon in a fight
and he doesn’t travel light
and it’s good to feel the muscle at your back

When loyalty and courage are at one
the woman in the leather vest is surely set to stun
I would slowly back away
Cause she’ll more than test your mettle
she has got a score to settle
The Alliance has a major debt to pay

And what are we to make of Shepherd Book
I’d like to see his service record, yeah I’d like a look
I think he can do more than cook
and I find it passing odd
that a straight-up man of God
would ever need that devastating hook

The doc of all of them had most to lose
but he’s got a moral compass so he knows which way to choose
Keeping River safe’s his goal
as they dodge and they swerve
and get on each other’s nerves
and grief him while he’s patching up their holes

A wild eyed dancer tallies up the crew
don’t be on the receiving end of River’s ballet-fu
Her middle name is death
Gun or fist or knife
she will swiftly end your life
and do it with a grace that takes your breath

So now you’ve met the crew of Firefly
the Fox execs who cancelled it are surely gonna fry
all these years we still ask why?
so sing out a mighty curse
to ring out across the ‘Verse
Cause Firefly’s renown will never die!

Recorded live someplace, possibly GAFilk, more likely CONFLIKT

much love to the sound crew

Lemming’s Twofer

Here’s the youtube Link

Step up folks you know you can’t go wrong
got a back catalogue about nine miles long
when he gets bored he’ll write another song
step up step up Lemming’s Twofer
A fascinating miscellany of
all the subjects that he really hates and loves
and I’ll hang with him when push comes to shove
comes to his opinion (squee) I’ll be his minion
Step up folks and do not be perplexed
if you can’t tell which instrument he’s playing next
Put down that phone he hates it when you test
Step up Step up Lemming’s Twofer
Step up folks and get your Bile on Wry
while the Magat’s and smokers get it in the eye
If he was wine, he would be very dry
Step up step up Lemming’s Twofer
Idiosyncratic entertainment
delivered in eyepopping Hawaiian raiment
devoid of refinement, or of containment
Step up step up
Lemming’s Twofer
Brain abraded with a loofah
Filker, parodist and spoofer
step up step up Lemming’s Twofer NOW

Live at GAFilk – Dishing with Joyce


You think I haven’t got a clue
I’m telling you it’s no small task
to be the Slayer’s single mom
well how hard can it be
I’m glad you asked
She’s constantly in trouble
and spoiling for a fight
but if my girl’s out kicking demon ass
I guess the world will be all right

I tell her get your homework in on time
try hard to be home by nine
if I ask how you are, say ‘Fine!
I just saved the world, again!’

I’ve been assaulted and enchanted
I take hellmouth stuff in stride
and you may think that I’m demented
but parenting’s a way more scary ride
I want her to be happy
I want her to be good
But here in Sunnydale we’re just not living
in that kind of neighborhood

I tell her get your homework in on time
try hard to be home by nine
if I ask how you are, say ‘Fine!
I just saved the world, again!’

It wasn’t all disastrous, there were moments I quite like
I get all misty-eyed about the time I clobbered Spike

Well every season brings a change
the scoobies fight a new ‘big bad’
and rabid fans won’t think it’s strange
if you won’t watch ‘the body’ ’cause it’s sad
(aside Legit the saddest episode in tv history up until that point)
It’s all about the teamwork
it’s all about fair play
so I’d appreciate if you’d not talk about
my fling with Giles today

I tell her get your homework in on time
try hard to be home by nine
if I ask how you are, say ‘Fine!
I just saved the world, again! I just saved
the whole damned shiny Whedonverse again”

spoken That’s my girl


Fucking mandolin would not stay in tune because I took Blind Lemming’s advice and loosed the strings before travel (i love the hoomin and I’d take a bullet for him but I’m still pissed about that) and then THE FUCKING BRIDGE MOVED and I couldn’t get it set properly and I then made my handler drive all over Atlanta in the rain finding me new strings and Christ it was stressful. If I don’t sound stressed that’s a miracle. Sorry about the tag into the next song on the end, I can’t be arsed to fix it.

It’s just so Nice When Someone Knows your Name / single verse

Technically this is a Brooke Abbey song, but I messed with it two ways; I added a verse, which you can hear, here, and I made it PSYCHOBILLY, so it’s keyed differently and about 40 beats a minute faster. So I don’t feel bad about extracting a single verse from my live performance at GAFilk (which alas Brooke was not able to attend because the poor hoomin was migraineing almost the whole weekend) and reproducing it for you. Also I asked him if I could do it.

I’d like to get caught doing something on CCTV
which then breaks to the Internet dispersing virally
I would be world famous, be global entertainment
but sadly notoriety does not come with much payment
and it’s just so nice when someone knows your name!
Your inbox it is always full but you are not EMPLOYABLE
man it’s so nice when someone knows your name!

words and music and pictures

Conflikt Frog

(c)Onflikt is this weekend. All the filking will be done on Zoom. I hope to see the Talis Kimberly concert at least, although I’ll likely need a nap for the hour it’s at.

11179 on Best Roommate. Hug scene today if I can deal with it (this is only going to mean anything to my faithful readermOm.)

Made flower rolls yesterday (and pork patties) and the flower rolls are ALL GONE.

Letters will go off to Mary and Jan M and someone else, can’t now remember, so I’ll probably do a small shopping expotition while I’m out getting sufficient postage on Jan’s package, since I’m almost out of milk.

Effective immediately, no more cloth masks, only N95 or K95 while I’m out. The new variant is incredibly contagious and even if I got COVID in March I can still likely catch and carry it.

I see that some of my pre-posted stuff popped up already, and I don’t really understand how that happened, but I’m going to tuck them back in where they belong if I can.

I’LL BE ABLE TO CONVERT MY MIDI FILES. That is an IMMENSE relief because without that I’d have a hard time filling the entire year of tunes.

I need to review my list of songs again. It’s like an amorphous blob of pulsating weirdness how I don’t actually have a grip on the number.

Mira Furlan has passed at 65 of complications of West Nile Virus. Her role as Delenn was iconic and amazing and she was a hero to both kids, when the grandparents exposed them to B5. Rest in power, Ambassador.

song of the day HERE THEY COME

This is my zombie song, written on the way home from Conflikt 2011 in the car. Anthony said this was a banger in any genre which I most appreciated, especially since it isn’t true. But yes, this drifts into an approach of commercial viability. This song was inspired by Jeff playing Left 4 Dead for weeks at a time. ‘Reloading….reloading…reloading…’

I was going to post this later in the year but I was thinking about the people defending the Capitol calling the approaching mob zombies so… yeah.

arise ye prisoners of doomscrolling

Did a small shop and made borscht. Paul came by with some of John’s filk books, and best of all was Peter Alway’s Introduction to Mountain Dulcimer so I now have a picture of one of my filk friends on a pamphlet about an instrument I own. I’m going to review it again today with the instrument in hand.

Chuck Norris was at the insurrection event in Washington. What a cruel and grasping individual.

The unexpected postcard

I haven’t had enough
Can’t ask me to say when
Can’t ask me to resist
Won’t come my way again

It’s not that I am helpless
Nor that I am compelled
But that I have no words for
A way I’ve never felt

a long guitar and harmonica talking instrumental break

When you feel like you’re past hope
Past any chance for redemption
Perhaps some satisfaction
That life would get my vote
Then love comes into view
Like an unexpected postcard
Saying everything is beautiful
And soon you will be home.

fiddle on the last four lines, harmonica drops out

yes this is a destiel filk, tune exceeding dangerously sappy C&W, and it’s going along with the fic I’m working on. I am so cheesed with myself; I don’t want to leave the house, and there’s been a letter to pOp sitting there on the kitchen table for the last day. Also I’m supposed to make like lady bountiful to Paul, holed up in his motel. Tea, and beans, and whatnot.

set list

40 Million Light Years

1 Meat Ball

I Pop Pills

Alexios the Murder Hobo

Co Pilot’s Lament

Paradise (John Prine)


2&20 Blues


Grandson Greg was at Tom and Peggy’s, he seemed to be in excellent mood. We sang and played in both yards, following the shade, and it was lovely to be fed veggies and rice and butter chicken while admiring the two weeks of work Dan T. put into their back yard. Those fucking bricks weight 80 pounds kids and there’s a lot of them.

Mostly we talked. We sat on chairs six feet apart and talked. We felt like adults. It was really nice.

scratch track

the distortion is part of the charm – it’s a natural feature of whacking the guitar this hard at a harmonic point with a rubber mallet – yes this is a hammered guitar

It’s the hottest part of the summer and I’m treating myself to beer. God I love this song. Anyway, it sounds MUCH BETTER on headphones, I’m hearing stuff I didn’t hear the first time. It’s just got depth, you know, and then this sort of pounding howl of a chorus, so much pent up jealousy and rage and then back to… I do this, I do this, I do this, life has a rhythm, and then I JUST GET SO MAD. I LOVE IT so there