Paul is 69

Like what the hell, dude?

Anyway, he took the four of us (less Alex, more on that later) to the Wet Spot in New West, and I had a Hot Chicken Spot salad which was very fresh and tasty, and a choc milkshake, Keith had a burger, Katie had spag and meatballs, and Paul had the quinoa salad. We talked and laughed and I told Paul we were Kids With Wrinkles when he said “Am I that old??? I’m 22!”

Prior to this I accompanied Katie to drop off Alex in Langley at his dad’s. ON THE WAY THERE we saw Alex’s youngest uncle hard by Surrey centre with a shopping cart full of crap and the memorably loose bodily configuration that accompanies being about 2 hours post heroin fix. It was absolutely horrifying and cringingly sad as we drove by. I felt sick, and Katie said flatly that she doesn’t give him 18 months.  Given how much fentanyl and carfentanyl is in Vancouver area heroin right now that disadvantaged young man will not likely make old bones and yes, he’s been in treatment, and he’s even been a couple months clean in the last year, although detoxing in jail is hardly ideal.

His mother just lost her romantic partner to liver disease; she’s having a rough go and I pray her son gets clean and stays that way.

Minutes after that sobering sight we’re dropping Alex off. Now constant readers will recollect that Alex doesn’t always say goodbye, or have any interest in hugging or kissing me. It’s always a bonus. I never demand, because a good grandma understands the sensory issues of her grandkids.

WELL WHAT A FUCKING PAYOUT. I feel like virtue rewarded this am.

He kissed his mama good bye and then he got this MISCHIEVOUS look on his face and announced, loudly, twice, that he WAS GOING TO HUG AND KISS GIGI GOODBYE

and he did, with an extremely cute flourish.

as we drove away Katie and I were HOWLING because he did it deliberately to annoy his dad and fuck I’m still laughing and feeling unreasonably pleased about it. Katie’s attitude is that if Alex is learning his father’s techniques for dragging people, his dad being the only one he uses them on is rich beyond compare. Apple rolls downhill from tree; QED.

It needs only be added that he’s been served, and at some point Katie breaking herself to accommodate Alex staying emotionally close to his father is going to pay off in court, because she’s not the one the cops got called on this past week.

Everything’s fine, but pounding on the door of your ex’s house for twenty minutes while screaming that you just want to see your son is just so bloody mature don’t you think

and what do you think Alex was saying inside while this was happening?

“Why doesn’t Daddy just go away?”

Yeah, harsh lessons all around.

He did see his dad, briefly; Katie’s not an asshole. But he wouldn’t let it go, now, would he. Reap what you sow and blame others.



side comment on another subject… I was collecting seeds this morning for a long term project and found something out about the fresh seed pods which amazed and moved me. Each tiny little seed is attached to a little umbilicus, which when the seed pod is fresh means when you harvest them, the red pigment in the moist pod makes them look like they’re bleeding from getting their cord cut. I really felt the awe of the ancestors in that moment; how everything in nature informs and enriches all of human life.

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Born when atmospheric carbon was 316 PPM. Settled on MST country since 1997. Parent, grandparent.

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