soft good brO brO banged on my door when I was napping at 11 yesterday morning to tell me that if I wanted to see my grandson I should get up, so I did. Me and Poppa Paul and Katie and Alex mall walked at Lougheed; I found some more of my favourite soap and some extremely bright safety lights for Katie and Alex. I pushed him around in a little red car that you can get from guest services at Lougheed.

He was really antsy, but we watched some violent racist transphobic Warner Bros cartoons with him and for about ten whole minutes he leaned up into me and cuddled and MY BOCKIT ISS FULLLLL NOW.


I sure hope I get to see my grandson this weekend, I’m losing my equilibrium.

Made a girl his age in a stroller smile yesterday. Dogs and kids hate my sunglasses so I lifted them up, smiling, and put them back on, frowning, and after the third iteration she cracked up. I’m getting my kid fu back Ah reckon.

Flying solo at work. It was really hard, and it’s a fucking typhoon of paper, and there’s always the feeling I’m missing something or getting it wrong.

Bosslady came in like a dwarf in a D&D game, carrying a shitpile of stuff, dispensed wisdom and gossip like the frickin’ bawwwwsssss she is and took off again. Absolutely stunner, that one.

I’ve spent the last five years being sad and angry about what happened when I lost my last ‘good job’. Capitalism, the economy and the complete fucking stupidity of everybody I ever worked with not helping me when I approached them directly looking for work.

Let’s just say that there has been a lot going on in the background that I haven’t been talking about in my blog. Anyway, FINALLY an acquaintance came through. It’s work I can do and I passionately believe in the mission, so there’s not much more I can ask.

And the commute’s tolerable; I very very rarely have to stand, and if I must stand it’s for a ten minute bus ride, not an hour of agony as I get slung all over Marine Drive with a bunch of fuckwits who marinaded in Axe before taking the bus.


Made a noob error

Let’s just say I won’t make that mistake again. Yes Allegra it’s possible for their to be three clinics in one day even if you’ve only ever seen two. SO I didn’t do the reminders for T’s clinic.

I LEARNED THIS ON THE WAY OUT THE DOOR my poor colleague E was stuck doing the reminders as I sauntered out.

Call a dr.’s office and start singing I’M ON HOLD AGAIN (this was before E came in after lunch so I was on my lonesome in the fishbowl) and both of the midwives on clinic overheard me and cracked up. Then somebody handed me a baby and he FELL ASLEEP ON ME AS I HUMMED THE TUNE OF THE MR NIPPLEOFF SONG

holding a sleeping baby …. just thinking about it the next day and I’m all cry face like it was my grandkid or something

the last baby CRIEDNCRIEDNCRIEDNCRIED AND what a relief when I handed him back.

AND I BOOKED THREE INITIAL APPOINTMENTS THAT’S HOW WE DO IT PEOPLE so I have finally booked enough appointments to pay for my first couple of weeks at work.

Yeah. If I don’t do it, and I have the sales skills of a locker door, we all starve.


Then I discussed not one but three different things you’re never supposed to talk to your boss about, how fucked up the software and two other items about our personal lives you’re never supposed to bring to the office.


and pushed two kinds of chocolate into the fishbowl

Yeah what a terrible terrible boss.

She hates that software too and has a plan to be rid of it.  ALL THE MEMES OF TWISTED PLEASURE MMMMMM


Beautiful day today – three of cups for a daysign

got beef congee for breakfast at Mike’s! god it was so, so good

Pho for lunch with Paul after a Deer Lake walk

Got asked to work today and refused and man

I’m so glad I stuck to my guns because I am doing fine

loving enjoying the last of the weather

before we’re in Raintober again

opportunity or what

Katie is trying to find some upside to the upcoming custody settlement and how she’s going to cope if she only gets Alex half the time.

I think anticipating her babydaddy’s facial expression when he realizes he now has to pay half of the daycare fees will almost be worth it.

I think if it happens, she’ll do a lot more reading and sleeping.

inchoate thoughts of reconciliation

Reconciliation with Indigenous persons is a goal for me, but the really tough part is trying to do it inside an anarchist framework.

Anarchists keep banging on about how nations and nationalism is terrible and we need to stop it immediately because the nation state is a wrecker.

I think I finally found a way to make my arguments so that I can satisfy both sides of it but it’s gonna go  bad for the white anarchists. If any are left after the purge one can see taking shape in the US.

It won’t be a civil war, it will be thousands of local mass actions, as all the hesitations and racist bullshit accompanying the Reconstruction rise up to knock America into the wintry arms of the Russians.

Day off

Haven’t checked my pay from yesterday, I suppose I should.

Couple more days until pot’s legal. In order to ensure that Julian Fantino makes the most amount of money out of it, Canada is ignoring its international law obligations.

Candidly I don’t give a rat’s ass, I’d be using cannabis for my various ailments whether or not it was legal, as I have done since I was sixteen. I am thinking of getting a button. “Please don’t smoke up at work, you’re dopey enough as it is.”

Happy full

Today was a good day. I was supposed to do something this evening and I even paid for a ticket, but I got Alex snuggles and a homecooked meal instead. And hugs.

Also I got Liz to read Midnite Moving Co. ha ha ha.

I reread it. It’s really funny, still holds up like I remember it, writing it in a fire of productivity and complete certainty what I was going to do next….