Allegra Sloman's blog

Sick, sick, sick
2006-10-15— Posted by: allegra

http://www.devilducky.com/media/29431/

A comic sketch entitled “Waiters Who are Nauseated by Food”.

CRTC
2006-10-15— Posted by: allegra

I received an interesting Email from Cousin Gerald today, a forward from a buddy of his who’s very cheesed about a CRTC decision regarding the telcos. If I understand this all correctly, the Canadian telcos have raised about 650 million bucks from overcharging for local service since 2002. They were supposed to rebate us, like, the consumers, but they appealed to the CRTC to apply the overcharge to “building broadband capacity”.

Now, I am a big fan of broadband capacity, and if I believed more than 80% of the money was actually going to be spent in that fashion, I’d grumble but roll over and say “Make it snappy”.

Before I looked at the CRTC decision, I was thinking that I don’t believe a goddamned thing the telcos tell me, and I don’t think that Canadian Government Agencies should be quite so cheerful when they’re letting thieves keep their spoils on the promise that they’ll be spending it for the good of humanity. After, I had a different feeling. Here’s the CRTC decision, which comes close to being in English. http://www.crtc.gc.ca/archive/ENG/Decisions/2006/dt2006-9.htm

So I guess the upshot is that the CRTC thinks the consumers should get it back, and now we’re arguing about the best way to do it. If I was the benevolent dictator of Canada, I would use it to underwrite broadband access in remote areas and to disabled people, but that just shows what a socialist fluffy headed sap I am. Why not spend it on wealth creation? Who gives a shit if First Nations and disabled people have broadband? Anyway, if you have any interest in the disposition of a pile of money so big it would even make Bill Gates, George Soros and Warren Buffett pay attention, google CRTC and rate cap and Disposition of funds in the deferral accounts, which is what the decision is called. You can also visit http://www.piac.ca (which is a consumer group of some stripe or other) for more links.

News Flash
2006-10-15— Posted by: allegra

Paul’s going to church.

I’m staying home to do laundry.

enough sleep
2006-10-14— Posted by: allegra

Boy, did I get enough sleep. I slept until 1:52 this afternoon, and yes, I am feeling somewhat poorly, which might account for my long rest.

I saw Body Worlds 3 last night with Brooke. She has forgiven me my ticketing meshugas so I will hurriedly skip on to: Yes, it was great, if you’re not too squeamish see it.

The water heater died – the damned thing was only five years old – and Dave the Plumber replaced it. Paul is even now tying the new one back onto the frame of the house so it doesn’t fall down during an earthquake.

The first thing I did when I got up was realize that I was an hour late for the Spit, so I threw on my clothes and flew out the door to the Thirsty Duck, where Jan, Susanne, Dee, Ingrid and myself quaffed bevvies and had a late lunch and then drifted by Renaissance Books. I bought Sex with Kings (a history of European court mistresses which I’ve already finished as it was the definition of a quick read) and Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman for Keith – it will be waiting for him on his bed when he gets home. Ingrid was amazed to learn that Vancouver has a Sci Fi convention…. I told her it’s pretty much a media and gaming con, but the filk track is pretty good these days, snicker.

Anyway the only other thing I’ve done today is yawn and sneeze and eat dinner, and frankly, I’m just as happy about that. I am feeling a weird trembly exhaustion which is just crying out for more unconsciousness.

My sleep was full of nightmares… maybe going back to sleep isn’t such a good idea.

You’ve gotta be kidding me
2006-10-13— Posted by: allegra

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=6248833

and for my flying friends
2006-10-13— Posted by: allegra

http://www.ornithopter.ca/MediaGallery/Videos/index_e.html

And the Bible doesn’t say a THING about polyandry
2006-10-13— Posted by: allegra

http://www.godlessgeeks.com/LINKS/BiblicalMarriage.htm

Read and giggle. The rest of the site is plenty amusing.

Just in time for the apocalypse
2006-10-13— Posted by: allegra

http://www.MERKINWORLD.com/

…. and you should thank your lucky stars I’m not posting a pic. NO I don’t want one for Christmas (although if you do, get me the rainbow). YES I think 150 quid is a bit much for some fluffy polyester. Hm. I feel a prank comin’ on.

Asteroid animation
2006-10-13— Posted by: allegra

http://www.umich.edu/news/Vid/kw4.mov

Okay, this is REALLY COOL. The animation is of the KW4 binary asteroid; 1 second is 8 hours and they show 4 different angles. These are not solid masses; they are rapidly spinning collections of space junk; if you tried to land on one you’d be sorry.

So these folks live in Anchorage
2006-10-13— Posted by: allegra

Either these folks are starting a zoo, or they have animal control problems. To me, the scariest thing about this picture is not that there are four bears in it, but that you CAN’T SEE THE FIFTH BEAR, which will be a black bear sow. How the HELL she ended up with four cubs completely amazes me.

Music of the Domestic Goddesses
2006-10-13— Posted by: allegra

http://www.makezine.com/blog/archive/2006/10/vacuum_cleaner.html?CMP=OTC-0D6B48984890

Great pic of musical vacuum cleaners…

Katie said she’d come home and didn’t. Tiresome, but I pushed the door of her room open and pretended I was Hitler looking at Poland.

Keith made bread after coming home from karate; I didn’t know because I forced myself off the computer at 9:34 at went to bed, and now I have actually had enough sleep, which amazes me.

Lexi visited briefly earlier this week, and told the kind of anecdote you hear maybe once a year. Since she doesn’t blog and I can’t repeat it – alas, it is not my story to tell – I’m feeling somewhat crabby, but I will say this…. if the End of the World as We Know It comes along anytime soon, I want Rob and Lexi in MY corner. And of course anybody who knows them feels much the same way…

I’m very much looking forward to the weekend. There’s gonna be a Spit! (See previous blogs for what is a Spit). Maybe I’ll finally get Dunnetteer Jan’s detective books back to her, although given how many books are parked next to my bed right now that seems like a hard prospect. I have finished Joanna Russ’ On Strike Against God, which, if I parse it correctly, she wrote at one sitting during a manic episode triggered by the loss of a lover. There are some really bad typos in it, but also some really great stuff, especially the quotes at the end.

There is an interesting link between the local Spitters and VCon; Academie Duello, which does weapons demos at VCon pretty much every year now, and which held a Dunnett Reenactment this past spring (god, it was amazing!) actually approached some Spitters at VCon and said something along the lines of “That was fun, we should do that again.” Yee haw. Maybe they could reenact the fight between Niccolo and Simon in The Unicorn Hunt (when two guys try to kill each other with large or sharp hot metal items) or the fight in Queen’s Play between Lymond and Robin Stewart, in which Robin does everything wrong and Lymond doesn’t to kill him anyway because he’s trying to make a point. I realize that the only person who reads my blog who will get any of this is the Empress of Brookealonia, but that’s okay.

I’m yawning so hard my jaw is cracking, so I think I’ll go get me some coffee.

A bad bad review
2006-10-12— Posted by: allegra

http://jameswolcott.com/archives/2006/10/ratfink_to_rele.php

This man’s command of invective needs to be admired, so admire it already.

OMG it’s a Marketing thing, you wouldn’t understand
2006-10-12— Posted by: allegra

http://www.consumerist.com/consumer/sure/sure-deodorant-is-the-same-as-secret-206620.php

OMG hey pOp
2006-10-12— Posted by: allegra

www.oscarbrand.com

This will mean nothing to most of my readers, but if I told you that you can now buy a package set of the WWII songs for $30 US what would that do for you? I grew up with these songs. They are part of my sonic landscape.

INTERRUPTION BASED MARKETING
2006-10-12— Posted by: allegra

http://soundprinciples.com/ad-verse/2006/01/direct-marketing-science-of.html

The vilification must stop
2006-10-12— Posted by: allegra

http://www.anncoulterisbrainless.com/

Now, in this very blog I have accused Ann Coulter of having a tapeworm, (or was it Michelle Malkin? all Repulsigans look alike to me…) and I’ve told her that I would bake her a pie, because she’s so very slender. So I am definitely in the ‘hater’ category. But I have never, no never, committed the gross calumny of accusing her of being brainless. She isn’t brainless! She’s just differently abled in the truth department. There’s a BIG difference.

Sample Coulter quote: “I have to say I’m all for public flogging.” — MSNBC 3/22/97

Sample Allegra reaction. “Kinky! Girl, you’ll be stampeding cattle through the Vatican next!”

Dr. Porco strikes again
2006-10-11— Posted by: allegra

Check out the wavy rings of Saturn….

enough sleep
2006-10-11— Posted by: allegra

Nothing’s happening to me; I’m devoid of thought. It’s nice and peaceful here right now.

Keep those cards and moose pictures coming
2006-10-10— Posted by: allegra

This moose on the highway (a beautiful Nancy White song by that name is echooooing in my heeeead right now) was captured in NFLD. What a rack!

It’s been bally ages since I posted a moose picture
2006-10-10— Posted by: allegra

From Aftenposten – the legendary Sp�kelsemoose (if this doesn’t show properly, that weird symbol should be an o with a forward slash through it).

Happy sigh
2006-10-10— Posted by: allegra

We had a wonderful meal at Tom and Peggy’s last night – I don’t mind roast turkey two days running! And I was able to recycle the parsnips, so there.

Paul and I are still feeling a warm glow from our very happy and successful Thanksgiving dinner, and we did the bike/walk/run thing at Cariboo this morning so the blood is actually circulating!

Shortbus
2006-10-10— Posted by: allegra

Go see it. I really enjoyed it, even though it made me really uncomfortable in spots. I laughed really hard and I was crying at the end, so I guess it hit the “I laughed, I cried, it became a part of me” spot.

Ambivalence and creativity
2006-10-09— Posted by: allegra

http://uwnews.washington.edu/ni/article.asp?articleID=27195

4307
2006-10-09— Posted by: allegra

4307 is the sales code for longan – we have some in the house at the moment which are being scarfed down by Carly.

We had a simply fabulous evening. After I cooked pretty much all day we sat down around 6:15 and scarfed green beans, fresh turkey with two kinds gravy (one with mushrooms, the drippings gravy definitely without mushrooms), new potatoes, two kinds salad (green and cucumber/tomato), cranberry sauce, home made stuffing, corn on the cob, parsnips that nobody ate because I didn’t put them out, home made beer, home made perry, tea, coffee, passionfruit raspberry sorbet, Omani butter cookies and home made hazelnut torte with cream personally flagellated by Paul.

Oh, and Mike, Katie and Nita shared a coconut rum shot at the end of it all…

The only picture Jim got of me I’m glaring at the camera so hard it’s amazing it didn’t fly out of his hand. I’m posting a pic of the Carly and the Nita instead, everybody would rather look at them.

I’d list the participants, but let’s just say that we had to buy another table to seat them all, and that when I woke up this morning I had a new program on my computer. (They asked permission first).

I crashed out about the time that the Buffy musical episode came on, and was simply amazed when Paul, who was still suffering from the depredations to his feet from the Science World show, joined me shortly thereafter. It’s wonderul to have guests you can abandon like that, but man, we were bagged.

For everybody else doing Canuckistani Thanksgiving today, have a lovely time!

He’s missing a golden opportunity
2006-10-08— Posted by: allegra

http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/1005wsj-japan-blog05-ON.html

Painting rings on Jabba’s back.
2006-10-08— Posted by: allegra

So many happy, and a couple of unhappy, things to report. Unhappy first. My friend is still in the psych ward. I really hope she gets better soon; this is being very hard on her and the people who love her, so I light multiple candles for her and her family.

On a far less serious note, my hazelnut torte collapsed when I took it out of the oven, but I don’t think I’m going to have any trouble getting the folks to eat something that has the best part of a dozen eggs, a cup of sugar and a half pound of ground hazelnuts in it. Simple recipe, hunh? It will be yummy no matter what the hell it looks like. Paul has volunteered to get whipped cream. The good old heart attack circle is complete…

I took a good brisk walk this morning before the sun came up and feel reasonably sanguine about today’s festive meal.

Paul, Jim, Carly and Nita saw the Body Show at Science World last night. I stayed home, and now I wish I hadn’t because they say there’s NO WAY to see the show in two hours; you need four at minimum and you can’t do it when you start at 7 pm and it closes two hours later… So I guess I should go and see it with Katie or Keith or both some afternoon when it’s not so jammed. It was a good experience buying tix on line from Science World, and I recommend doing that if you’re going. The folks were one and all blown away by the exhibit, and can’t recommend it highly enough, and say that the ticket price is very reasonable for what you get.

Keith has finally written down the days he’s supposed to take off for Orycon, so hopefully we are now all free to go to Portland in mid-November.

Dr. Filk is much enjoying V-Con and has brought me the On Spec that Casey had a story published in. I am going to wait for the houseguest uproar (that’s GOOD uproar, they do dishes!) to die down a bit before I read it, but it looks intriguing.

Katie and Carly burst out laughing when they saw each other this morning (for the first time in AGES); they were dressed almost identically in hoodies and pants and they were in the wonderful teenaged phrase “scrubbed out” which basically means that they were glamour pusses by comparison with the rest of us feeble elderly types. It was a most amusing fambly moment.

Keith continues to amuse and amaze. His most recent quote is a direct hit on George Lucas (a Jabba sized target these days), which he came up with upon learning that George has seen and liked Serenity and is choked that Firefly was cancelled. Keith is hoping that George, who’s richer than God, will tell Joss, “Joss, my flabby old heart and now quiescent sack are not up to another epic production – here’s some cash towards a full season of Firefly.” Lie down when you’re dreaming there, boy.

Has anybody else seen the Family Circus parody which takes a Family Circus cartoon and inserts a Nietsche quote? Okay, I found it funny, I’ll shut up now. Alluva sudden I can hear the Dandy Warhols winding up in the background!!! (they have a song called Nietsche, just in case you were wondering.)

Flabby old heart and now quiescent sack? I’m still howling about that one.

A little bird sent me this
2006-10-07— Posted by: allegra

http://journals.democraticunderground.com/Skinner/80

Maybe I’m really sick to be amused by somebody making fun of Katherine Harris, but don’t I have a right to be sick?

Laugh, I thought I’d die
2006-10-07— Posted by: allegra

http://motionographer.com/media/battle_adbands-w.mov

If you didn’t grow up in the 70’s don’t bother with this movie but if you did you’ll find it quite amusing. Essentially a bunch of VERY FAMILIAR album covers come to life and, well, there’s an exchange of gunfire, and then – aw watch it anyway, it’s pretty funny.

enough sleep
2006-10-07— Posted by: allegra

no trespassing
2006-10-06— Posted by: allegra

Mike McG took this in Thailand….

Do not google this!!!
2006-10-06— Posted by: allegra

Whatever you do, DO NOT google image Brazilian eye popper. You WILL be sorry.

Reading
2006-10-06— Posted by: allegra

Finished the Edgar Award Winning “New Orleans Mourning” last night. I LOVE the heroine, Skip Langdon, and her boyfriend Steve makes me drool. Must… find…. more….

Also finished the last hour of Good Night and Good Luck, which is a bloody awesome movie.

I am going into hibernation mode, so I’m planning a nice long walk sometime this weekend to try and counteract this.

I’m having a small gathering on Sunday night – the trad turkey – what can I say, I’m the world’s most conventional oddball.

My brother sent me a youtube link that made me cry. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4 if you have any interest.

I’m still enjoying the sensation of how tidy the yard is when I pull up. Thanks Keith and Paul.

Katie ACTUALLY CALLED at midnight to say she wasn’t coming home last night. This represents progress, let’s celebrate. Doubles all round.

Overheard at the call center
2006-10-05— Posted by: allegra

Once again, I must INSIST that this didn’t happen at my company.

CS Agent: So… That takes care of your billing issue… Are you looking for a cell phone?

Customer: (starting to rant) Cell phone… I do not need any stinking cell phone… If you sell me a cell phone you might as well give someone a hammer to hit me on the side of the head. That way, I will be just as retarded as the rest of those idiots.

CS Agent: (without missing a beat) That may be true sir, but fortunately for you, I do not sell hammers.

Customer: What? (long pause)… You are a funny guy…

Click!

Hey, ya heard it here first
2006-10-05— Posted by: allegra

Out of Jordan comes the bloggy, bloggy news that by the 17th of October (end of Ramadan) there will be a massive attack on North America, and all Muslims are advised to leave. The comments posted at the end of the blog encompass such sentiments as, “Hey, chuckles! Where do you want us to go? Iran? Afghanistan? Sa’udi Arabia? Send me the plane fare and we’ll talk!”

I am no longer worried about the end of the world. I’ve read the latest Scienterrific American, and when the CO2 PPM goes over 900, we’ll all die from the Hydrogen Sulphide gas that will be produced when the chemocline in the ocean shifts to the surface. Read the article and be prepared to be scared out of your shorts.

It’s fall
2006-10-05— Posted by: allegra

I was walking into work yesterday and a 20 inch across maple leaf fell into my path. I put it over my desk yesterday. People laugh when they see it, it’s so big.

Growing up
2006-10-05— Posted by: allegra

As I contemplate the arrival of my 50th birthday, which is taking shape against an eldritch, relentlessly backlit mist, and it only a year and a bit away, I must force myself to pause and consider the lives of my elders. For this year, they will, inshallah, celebrate 50 years of married life. I would call it bliss except it would be a damned lie, one which my parents would vigorously attack. “Yup,” they’d say, “We had a pretty good time, but I wouldn’t call it bliss. Especially when I think of this past month of hacking up my lungs & maintaining a furious schedule while trapped in my house.”

pOp, there’s THE WORLD’S MOST BORING WIKIPEDIA ARTICLE on Greenwood. I looked at it and ached with the desire to scan and post your stories. pOp’s Exploding Bedtime Stories. I can see the button now, edged in blue… There’s the story about how two of the four engines quit on takeoff when you were at full fuel and had many pounds of live munitions on board. Oh, and there’s the arctic survival training story, which features a dog running into your sleeping quarters to take a simply grisly dump; the story of searching for a lost guy who had no survival gear and put stale gas in his airplane prior to take off; and several other memorable and icy anecdotes besides; in other news, seagull guts; the man they called “Microswitch”, who nearly bled to death from a routine injection when they broke the needle off in his arm. Ah yes, these and many other stories enlivened my children’s childhood. I enjoyed reading them a LOT, and hammily.

Then I contemplate my grandmother, whose trek through her nineties continues to be full of adventure and gadding about, which is exactly what a woman her age SHOULD have on her agenda if she feels like it.

Well, I want to talk about my mother too, but I just can’t do it. I’ve backspaced over three sets of paeans to her ineffible Mummy-ness, but they all would have made Hallmark Cards disappear in a bloody shower of pancreatic implosions.

Keith is unhappy; the latest Strangers in Paradise is late. Katie is working. Paul is working.

Life is purty good right now, although not because my darlings are out earning their bread… Oh, look, Keith just fired up Good Night and Good Luck.

Missed a pic
2006-10-04— Posted by: allegra

Earlier I mentioned something I scanged from Carryabigsticker.com … here it is.

Moving right along
2006-10-04— Posted by: allegra

I am trying to intuit what Katie’s school fees are this morning; I have emails from the school saying pay up but there’s nothing to indicate what the Viking tax is to keep Katie in school. Yes I know they just declared school fees illegal.

Her boyfriend is trying to pre-emptively break up with her so he can walk away having dumped her. Young love! Katie doesn’t even appear upset about it.

Keith and I watched I Dood It last night. I don’t know what to say about this movie except that it has some of the wildest stuff imaginable in it with interminably long spells of not much happening. The song by the Jimmy Dorsey band and the Eleanor Powell rope dance at the beginning was enough to make my eyes pop out. Anyway, it stars Red Skelton and guests Lena Horne and Butterfly McQueen and the INCOMPARABLE Hazel Scott – her guest bit had my jaw on the floor – what an A MA ZING ivory tickler she was. (Dr. Filk wandered in just before that started and HE was pretty gobsmacked too). Oh, and there’s one piece of physical comedy (Red Skelton trying to get a passed out Eleanor Powell, who appears to be shapely string stuffed into a wedding dress, from the floor to a bed) that was so funny I ran out of air.

If I appear cheerful at the moment, it’s partly because I have a happy secret! I will tell you if you ask me nice, but I can’t post it publicly.

From carryabigsticker.com
2006-10-03— Posted by: allegra

Scanged from carryabigsticker.com. Go there, very funny fridge magnets.

flippin’ out
2006-10-03— Posted by: allegra

It’s been ages since I posted a picture of a black comedian dressed up as a woman. In point of fact, I think this is a first. Didn’t he have great legs? Remember Geraldine’s boyfriend’s name? (Killer, in case you were wondering.) I used to LOVE the Flip Wilson show.

enough sleep
2006-10-03— Posted by: allegra

www.englishrussia.com

I found some truly bizarre videos here (Orthodox Jews making Russian emigres drink until they puke? – no I didn’t watch it, the description in the comments was good enough for me) as well as some wonderful Rooslish. If you find the cat picture, enjoy; they are claiming that the facial expression on the cat is not photoshopped but I have my doubts. And if the facial expression on that cat is truly natural, I for one would not want to live with such a creature. They also have a dodge for shipping stuff to Russia which made me smile.

Katie didn’t come home last night and didn’t phone, but I guess we know where she is.

I finished John Barnes’ A Million Open Doors (I heart Giraut) this morning and watched Falling Down last night. Time to do dishes and get ready… Paul is just coming off shift now.

Duly noted
2006-10-02— Posted by: allegra

It takes a LONG TIME to roast and shell 10 pounds of hazelnuts if you are shelling them by hand. On the other hand, when people walk into your house, they are very impressed by the delightful blast of hazelnut scented air.

Boys and girls come out to play
2006-10-01— Posted by: allegra

Maybe men and women aren’t so different after all.

http://www.mcgill.ca/newsroom/news/?ItemID=22044

Harrisand Sculptures
2006-10-01— Posted by: allegra

Here’s a detail of the previous sculpture.

Harrisand Sculptures
2006-10-01— Posted by: allegra

This sculpture won the People’s Choice award. I can’t remember the name of it except that Dreams was part of the title.

Harrisand Sculptures
2006-10-01— Posted by: allegra

Another angle of the giraffe family.

Harrisand Sculptures
2006-10-01— Posted by: allegra

This is part of a larger tableau of the Cirque du Sand. I found the rest of the tableau uglier than a ruptured python, so I lay down on the sand and shot this, and I’m quite pleased with it. This one is for Vampire Mama, who really has a thing for giraffes. The top of the mother’s head was at least 8 feet above ground level, and this sculpture has been up since Labour Day, so you can get an idea for just how stable and amazing these sculptures are.

This one’s for Lexi
2006-10-01— Posted by: allegra

I can’t remember taking this, so I’ll assume Paul took it. This one’s for Lexi. The rest of the tableau was a bunch of dwarven and dragon extras sitting around bored out of their minds while this dude set up the shot. Very very funny.

Harrisand Sculptures
2006-10-01— Posted by: allegra

Here’s the same pic except shrunk down so you can see most of it.

More Harrisand
2006-10-01— Posted by: allegra

Detail, taken by Paul, of the Mexican entry.

Harrisand Sculptures
2006-10-01— Posted by: allegra

So we went to Harrison yesterday, and I didn’t hurt my back to nearly the extent I was afeared to, and Paul and I took some wonderful pics. This is a detail from a sculpture entitled, Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. The little metal spikes coming out the top are to prevent trickster corvids from landing on the sculptures. It’s kinda Halloweeny, and it’s clicked over the beginning of October, so I figure I can get away with it.

That’s me Mum
2006-10-01— Posted by: allegra

When I am that age, I want to be just like her. Happy sigh.

Death in the family
2006-09-30— Posted by: allegra

My auntie Jackie’s mum passed away yesterday. I light a candle for her transition, and the transitions of her kin and friends.

Quick news blast
2006-09-30— Posted by: allegra

1. Finally signed up for del.icio.us.
2. Everybody in the household slept here last night.
3. Whipped cream on oatmeal is delicious.
4. I am insufficiently caffeinated for the performance of my duties, but Keith is fixing that even as I type.
5. I am working my way through Suzette Haden Elgin’s The Last Word on the Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense and I keep wanting to loan it to my pOp as a model for whatever book we’ll try to squeeze out of him when the Province of BC drop kicks him through the Goal Posts of Retirement.
6. Janice left so many books that I am alternately grinning and looking consterned. I mean, there’s consternation, but where’s the consterned?
7. Katie is taking two pans of brownies to a baby shower that she will not be able to attend. My attempts to console her were met with a wan smile.
8. Katie says that washing dishes is good for meditations on heat transfer.
9. I light a candle for John M. in Afghanistan who narrowly missed being killed in a roadside explosion. He is the eldest of one of my family’s closest friends. 10. I light a candle for the Queen of England, who has given over a portion of Windsor Castle to be a Mosque for her Muslim servants. This is by no means a new thing; the shrine at the base of Gebel Musa has places of worship for Muslims and Eastern Orthodox and Catholic celebrants and it’s been that way for over a thousand years. The places of tolerance are not hard to find if you look; the heart is still the hardest place sometimes.
11. I gotta get off the computer, Paul needs to fire off some emails before we head out to Harrison Hot Springs to look at the sand castles. It’s raining, but I don’t mind.

Joke
2006-09-29— Posted by: allegra

What does a Congressman use for a bookmark?
Bent over pages!

Damn that Wackypedia
2006-09-29— Posted by: allegra

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DisneySpeak

Hey Alan, scroll down about half way.

The man who had 14 wives
2006-09-29— Posted by: allegra

This guy is a realllllllll creep. And he lived in Toronto, too! I wonder what his children have to say about him.

Presenting Dr. Killeen

Convertible
2006-09-29— Posted by: allegra

Janice picked me up in the convertible last night and whisked me away to the Keg, where we had very very good steak and ate a LOT of mushrooms. Yum.

I think Katie is home, her door is closed.

Scanged from fark.com, it is to giggle. http://kare11.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=135536 The gist is a teacher took out a full page yearbook ad messing over the students, administration and school district. If the pic of the teacher is still up, be prepared to wonder when Harlan Ellison got so fat.

Dr Filk has been practicing up a storm for the various cons he and Filkola are playing this fall. Filkola is trying to get him to wear a dress for the Mad Scientist’s Love Song but so far no dice. We shall see if her powers and persuasions and general cussed wiliness will win the day.

Worksibling Mohammed sent me this
2006-09-27— Posted by: allegra

http://www.breakingranks.net/weblog/20-ways

One more thing……Okay, three more things.
2006-09-27— Posted by: allegra

Little more follow up…. that is an extremely athletic Donny Osmond doing the background dancing in White and Nerdy. Goshwow. I mean I loved it the first time I saw it, but this has LAYERS of ARTISTRY that leave me SWOONING.

I haven’t commented on Uwe Boll (pron. oova bowl) and his fight night, but that’s just because I am waiting for somebody more clued in than I to comment, so I can crib the remarks. To set up the comments in a later post, two facts: Uwe Boll makes horrifically, mind numbingly, bone crushingly bad movies. He recently had a fight with some of his worst critics and beat the wooglies out of them.

Here’s how pink I really am
2006-09-27— Posted by: allegra

Okay, I make no secret of the fact that I am one of the pinkest people you ever met. I refer to myself as white, but it’s the same way brown people call themselves black . .. .. it’s a weird thing. I am pink. Anyway, I am so frikkin pink, that when I found out Seth Green (Oz from Buffy, he-man of Robot Chicken, film ecktor and all around cool dude) was showing off HIS OWN cherry collection of action figures in Weird Al Yankovic’s White and Nerdy, I immediately popped back onto Youtube and watched it again. As if obeying some inner law, the playback stopped HERE. I did a screen cap and just about lost control of my bladder. This was on screen for a tenth of a second, but he had to do this!!!!!

Oh, and google Weasel Stomping Day, but not if you a) love animals and b) hate Weird Al Yankovic.

Taking a hint
2006-09-27— Posted by: allegra

I picked up the phone last night and called Tish and Terry. Terry answered, in his usual sephulchral tones, and within about ten minutes I was laughing my ass off, which I was not in the least expecting. I congratulated him on being an empty nester. Sophie, his youngest, who was born within a few days of Katie, has left home for University. We talked about a number of subjects, including canoe paddles, car maintenance, the possibility of a joint jaunt to the Maritimes, what’s really important in life, & in-laws, and then I asked to speak to his charming life partner Tish and he moved off the mike and said (so I could hear him) some variant on “She won’t take a hint, you come and talk to her,” which left me wheezing with laughter, because he came within a hairsbreadth of sounding like he meant it.

Janice arrived shortly thereafter, and all hail fandom! If a friend shows up with a pile of books, she’s not offended if you dive right in and start with the print-lovin’. Unfortunately I’ve been feeling Just East of Dreadful (there’s folks sick at work right now, and I’ve been off color for a while) so I crashed out almost as soon as Paul got home from work, but it was fun piling through the book boxes with frequent squeals of glee.

I was up at quarter to four and now I’m twying to be vewy vewy quiet so I don’t wake everybody up.

The latest Fantasy and Science Fiction has some great stuff in it. Yeah, I could be more specific, but rather than go into full blown review mode, I think I’ll quit blogging and work on transcribing The Dream in Fragments, the song I wrote last Friday morning.

Katie hasn’t been home in three nights. Or I should say she’s dropped in but not slept over. She’s apparently going to school, and I imagine she’ll come home today long enough to grab some clothes, shower and head off to work. I won’t see her, of course. Sigh.

Bettie Rules
2006-09-26— Posted by: allegra

So (scanged from NBC30.com), look what a really fine friend of the owner of the house painted on the side facing the highway!?

The roof beam is strategically placed, wouldn’t you say?

Technobabble runs wild
2006-09-26— Posted by: allegra

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5125780462773187994

Skunkfest
2006-09-26— Posted by: allegra

Is anybody surprised that the sixth annual Skunkfest just took place in North Ridgeville?

I useta know somebody with a pet skunk. It takes all kinds to make a world.

enough sleep
2006-09-26— Posted by: allegra

I could fill 10 column inches with descriptions of my physical woes, but that’s just boring, so to the mail bag, Alichino!

For those of us who identify as Cucuteni, a link – http://www.trypillia.com/info/index.shtml. I especially like the useful pots to put things in.

Along the same lines, http://www.barbaratedlock.com/excerpts/old_wisdom.htm

Janice arrives today. If the winds be fair and the border sane, she will arrive in time to pick me up from work, which means I might have a ride home in a convertible to look forward to.

I’m going to have to stop reading feminist literature, it’s exhausting. I’m being sarcastic, of course. Is that all right?

Executive compensation
2006-09-25— Posted by: allegra

As I was traipsing through eurekalert.org, I ran across this article on the effects of executive compensation on an organization.

http://www.informs.org/article.php?id=1232&p=

for me mum
2006-09-25— Posted by: allegra

http://www.theanticraft.com/materialism.htm

Hey mOm, go here and scroll halfway down. But take cough syrup first, because this WILL make you laugh.

Bones as art
2006-09-25— Posted by: allegra

http://www.ludd.luth.se/%7Esilver_p/kutna.html

Weird you want, weird you get. But I swear, officer, I did NOT melt that man’s lug wrench.

Mother dear Mother
2006-09-25— Posted by: allegra

My mother, despite the fact she’s feeling like somebuddy flung her down some stairs and picked her up with a red hot shovel, is working on my DNA scarf.

Neener, neener booboo.

John M (Mike) Ford is dead
2006-09-25— Posted by: allegra

John M Ford was only a year older than me. He’d been in poor health for a while. Pic is of my favorite book of his.

Smelling the Linden Dairy Air
2006-09-25— Posted by: allegra

Poor Doc Filk. He was heading north to Kanada on a motorcycle when the border guards all jumped on their chairs. Now let me get this straight; how is getting a gun (and requalifying once a year in broad daylight, harumph, harumph) gonna make the Canuckistani border guards safer? Right now, if somebody comes through with a gun, you smile and wave them through and let the Horsemen deal with it, that’s what they’re paid to do, right? Once the border guards have guns, I know that I’ll feel ever so much safer as a regular citizen, knowing that a bunch of underqualified weenies will have service revolvers that they will be LOOKING FOR EXCUSES to wave the frikkin’ things around. Bozoid thinking of the finest water!

I think Doc Filk’s pun was pretty damned funny though, as well as being accurate. Linden Dairy Air indeed….

Dreaming
2006-09-24— Posted by: allegra

Last night I had not one but several work related dreams. One was me walking up to a worksibling’s desk and realizing that the reason I couldn’t see him was because he was napping next to his desk. I was immediately overcome with tiredness and lay down next to him (there was nothing remotely sexual about this) and the two of us ended up sleeping like puppies in a blanket. The second part of the dream is that my work group all went to a training session and during the training session my boss fired an Uzi, but believe it or not it was all in good fun and to a point that he was making in the presentation, so nobody was upset. And there were two other little work minidreams, being stuck in a very bad elevator with three of my least favorite coworkers (all men) as the cable snapped and we plummeted; and having a live minicam on in the car of one of my overseas coworkers while a spectacular bus/motorcycle/car accident happened in front of them. All I saw was the motorcyclist go flying past the car; the rest of it was all reaction shot of the folks inside the vehicle as the dodged debris.

Baby animals
2006-09-23— Posted by: allegra

This is a less-than-a-week-old otter. Photo credit Heribert Fischer.

I love crap like this
2006-09-23— Posted by: allegra

Fever
2006-09-23— Posted by: allegra

Chipper called “for five minutes” Like Such a Thing Is Possible. Fortyfive massively entertaining and information packed minutes whiz by, and then I’m thinking, man, I took a nap today and I still feel like “my parachute didn’t open” as pOp says. I think… Maybe I should take my temperature? And I did, and I’m running a degree of fever. Despite it all I had such a productive, me oriented kind of day; worked on Gossip, one of Dr. Filk’s faves (although not because I wrote it for his ex-wife, at least I don’t think so), wrote another tune called The Nothing Doing Vacation (song title not yet fixed, but I sang it to Chipper over the phone and she squee’d in a MOST gratifying fashion (then she sang me a Bjork song that she’s done some clown choreography to); worked on the song I wrote yesterday morning (like at 6 in the ayem, can you credit it?) which still doesn’t have lyrics; got a haircut (phoned the shop “When’s my appointment?” “Five minutes hence, dumbass!”); went shopping for Welding, this amazing AG haircare product that performs PRECISELY as advertised; bought Cobbs Bread for Keith; walked all the way back to the meat market and got schnitzel and bacon and other yummy things and then walked all the way home; I was footsore but very cheerful and who should greet me but Keith. I cooked lunch and then lay down with that book of Canadian Feminist Literary Criticism Janice loaned me which is alternately hilarious, low key, scholarly, incomprehensible (and happy to be so), in your face and aggrieved. My eyeballs started feeling very hot and pressured, not just because of the reading material so I napped. I woke up and it was like three o’clock in the afternoon and I had the house to myself. Every time I tried to do something harder than laundry or dishes I’d feel kinda spacy, and I thought it was just me. Now I know I’m running a temperature and I’m thinking GREAT! Now I take painkillers and lie in bed! And I already got out and stirred my stumps in this beautiful fall weather (by myself, so I could write a song, because I didn’t have to pay attention to anybody else!!), so it’s not like I didn’t get any exercise today. All in all, I picked a great time and place to get mildly sick. We shall see if it turns into something more disgusting or whether a good night’s sleep turns it over. Mind you if my parents gave me double pneumonia over the phone I’m gonna be really mad at them.

Rub my tummy
2006-09-23— Posted by: allegra

Imagine someplace where you get to pet tigers for a small fee. (Or so I assume – wouldn’t YOU pay for the privilege?) This is from Kanchanaburi, Thailand, pic scanged from the BBC.

Vincati
2006-09-23— Posted by: allegra

Believe it or not, I have been a passenger on both a 1951 Vincent Black Shadow (I joined the 100 mile an hour club that day) and a Ducati (can’t remember the year, it is one of Dr Filk’s lamented bikes), so when I found out that some crazy dudes were mashing these two bikes together, I HAD to find and post a pic. This scanged from the Cycle Canada website, thanks guys.

Living in Paradise II
2006-09-23— Posted by: allegra

There’s Carly communing with the seals.

Living in Paradise
2006-09-23— Posted by: allegra

This is Carly, taken Labour Day weekend. Happy sigh. But wait! There’s more!!!

Eating and drinking and talking and planning
2006-09-23— Posted by: allegra

Worksibling Scott and I, joined by Kate, after she got released from the kitchen, ate and drank beer and whined about relationships, work and other stuff. Katie didn’t actually drink beer but she poached nachos and dry ribs from our plates. It was a very pleasant way to end the week. My last glimpse of Scott was of him trying to get a picture of the sunset from the west end of Sperling Station; I’m hoping he did get something interesting, because it was a spectacular sunset and I want to post it.

Paul’s doing his yoga. I should do my exercises as soon as he clears the floor space.

Paul in preparation for winter has hacked down the figs, cleaned out the electret filter for the furnace, and resealed all the doors. He was ably assisted by Keith in the fig trimming, and it was a pile of work. Sometime yesterday one of the hideous, disgusting mirror tiles in the downstairs front hallway fell off the wall. Yay! Now we have a sign that it’s time to rip it all down and replace it with a nice big piece of float glass. Or maybe a nice big piece of cork.

Katie came home last night and has to start work at 10 this morning, lucky her.

Every time I make fun of Chipper for not being able to find things on the internet, it’s because I’m forgetting she’s got dialup. Dur… sorry.

If you have a 2007 IKEA catalogue, make sure you have a good look at the dog on the inside of the front cover. Oopsie. Let’s just say that the dog, which is looking knowingingly at the camera, is ‘happy’.

Yes! I get a haircut today. I was going to say trim, but knowing the mentality of my readers I figured I should make it more specific. The weather looks gorgeous, and it’s just another day in paradise. As all of us Saskatchewan scions know….

State religion in the US?
2006-09-22— Posted by: allegra

http://www.iht.com/articles/2006/09/21/opinion/edbill.php

I read about it in the blogosphere and then tracked it back to a ‘legitimate’ news source. Gulp. I feel nauseous. I just don’t want to believe this is true. And then I read that there’s a debate about legalizing torture in the US.

First they came for the Jews, and I didn’t say anything, because I wasn’t Jewish….I have to stop reading the news, it’s making me sad.

Jason Fortuny
2006-09-22— Posted by: allegra

It isn’t even 5 in the morning, and I feel compelled to get up and rant already. I guess this is what happens when Paul and I, contemplating all the things we COULD be doing, vote for sleep at 8:30 in the evening. So while Paul does something socially useful, like his morning yoga exercises (how I enjoy listening to him do his yoga breathing) I’m gonna rant. From each according to his abilities, to each according to her needs. Note how a slight gender shift moves the meaning of that statement from high flown drama to a fly blown joke….

Anyway.

Today I’d like to rant about Jason Fortuny. I was waiting for a sign from the heavens before I should join my opinion to the mighty river of obloquy that is (crikey! I had to LOOK UP obloquy to spell it correctly – that a ranter must look up obloquy!?) the blogosphere these days, and I got it in the form of Dan Savage’s column last night.

For those of you unfamiliar with the story, Jason Fortuny took a picture of a woman’s ass, and posted it on Craigslist in the “looking for sex” column as if he was a hot 25 year old submissive, ah, woman. Well he isn’t. He has had a hard life, and he recently had to sell all of his action figures (considering I’ve been reciting Weird Al Yankovic’s lyrics for White and Nerdy for the last three days, I nearly fell off my chair when I read that) to pay some debts, and he has a history of cruel pranks to look back on, but he’s not a woman, submissive or otherwise, he’s a sad boy child of 30 with a bad temper. His upbringing left him with a tragic inability to be sympathetic to anybody outside a very narrow band, so that means that any and all of us could have been on the receiving end of his bile.

And what prank did Jason Fortuny play on the almost two hundred, I’m assuming mostly men, who answered the ad, including some with their work email addresses and ‘candids’ with their faces and full frontals?

He reposted their emails and pictures to a location which became Schadenfreude’s number one hit URL.

Now, I am vanilla. I’ve always been vanilla. I will always be vanilla. I don’t like spanking or getting spanked (or being tied up or humiliated or ****** on). Causing or receiving pain during adult oriented fun and frolic is icky to me. But, like a true white liberal, I’m gonna get up on my hind legs and bleat “Some of my best friends are kinky!” and say that the thing I object to most emotionally is that Jason Fortuny didn’t pick a very useful target. Why not go after pedophiles? He claims to have been molested himself. But noooooo.

Most of the blogosphere thinks the people he picked on were scumbags who deserve to lose their jobs. Dan Savage, may he nestle in the bosom of the Parking Goddess forever, commented that most of us would not withstand a really close look at our lives. As in, “You would be hopelessly screwed if somebody took a close look at your cookies, your DVD collection, and your email history”. Amen.

I had to back up and delete a paragraph that detailed some of the bad bad things I’ve done with the company email, so let’s just take it as read. Too gross for public consumption, alas. But like Mr. Fortuny, I may be called to account someday, and I am ready.

So what precisely did Jason Fortuny do wrong? In the last analysis, nothing that isn’t self-correcting. The kink community has been served notice that if it wants to keep on trucking, it has to control its own media and messaging services, and practice ‘safe hex’; Jason himself may or may not get his head busted in or face legal consequences for his misuse of public waters, being Craigslist; self righteous Aholes with time on their hands may parse Jason’s livejournal for clues as to the motivations for his behaviour (fortunately I don’t have to, because somebody’s already done it for me. Google Jason Fortuny and you’ve got an hour’s worth of reading, some of it very disturbing indeed, in front of you); civil libertarians can bite first one hand and then the other

I for one, with my own little mind, am thinking of this as being, in a small but very real way, the beginning of the end of the free internet (like it ever was, but you know what I mean). Unless those of us who are willing to PAY for the privilege of communicating freely and without intervention using ones and zeroes get together and make a secure, distributed and functionally paranoid place to exchange information, something not susceptible to foreclosure, political pressure or theft by the Russian Mafia, we’re going to lose every inch of the pipeline we’ve come to be addicted to. Net neutrality is a chimera; anything that can be used steal your identity, clean out your bank account, sic the cops on you for no good reason, and send strangers to your door thinking they are going to be partying with your 12 year old daughter is not a NEUTRAL PLACE. It’s time for those of us who cherish liberty to REALLY pay to play, and not just fork over more cash to the US Telcos for DSL. That’s the lesson of Jason Fortuny.

I’ve found something else for my mother to knit.
2006-09-21— Posted by: allegra

I emailed my mother the link to this scarf pattern. Once she recovers from her terrible cough, maybe I can bribe her to knit it pour moi.

enough sleep
2006-09-21— Posted by: allegra

Last night I dreamed we all lived in a big old Victorian house (like a mirror image of the old house on 74, but about 2 metres wider) and a short man about Paul’s age with a beret and cropped grey beard and a boy of about seven in a beret with a blue star painted over one eye came to my door and dropped off a magic book. The pages were the colour of the Virgin’s mantle and the ink was in all colours, mostly gold, and the words and the pictures moved. It was a directory. I called somebody to find out who they were and they were in town from the States (from Auburn) here to see the plastination exhibit at Science World and they had agreed to drop the book off to select Unitarians.

Weird you want, weird you get. But I swear, I did NOT melt that man’s lug wrench.

After the fact……..
2006-09-20— Posted by: allegra

Never ever ever feed your cats anything with onions or garlic. It can make them very very sick. I suspect that’s what happened to Zeek! after he plowed through some spaghetti sauce.

I have no idea what kind of deer that is
2006-09-20— Posted by: allegra

This picture was sent to me under the rubric “Are You My Mommy?”

Need a lift?
2006-09-20— Posted by: allegra

http://www.dorks.com/html/Funny-Cats-Video.html

If you hate cats, don’t watch it. If you do like cats, you’ll pee laughing. The Japanese children’s chorus in the background adds to the charm of it, strangely enough.

Katie finally came home. With A F)CKING BIG TATTOO. After I finished twittering about health issues, she drily said, “I watched Kat take the needle out of the package.” You can see it’s a bit red, but it’s not a bad piece at all.

Carolyn Porco sent me an email
2006-09-19— Posted by: allegra

Who is she? Well, apart from a brief correspondence regarding atheism and other issues, I don’t know her any better than you do. But she’s a world famous astronomer, and I’m on her mailing list, so without further ado and before the press release rolls, here’s a pic showing a new ring of Saturn. Visit ciclops.org for much more, including a new image of the blue Earth!

A question answered
2006-09-19— Posted by: allegra

It drives me nuts sometimes that I see native words and can’t pronounce them. Then I trip face down in this – while I was looking for something else. http://smalgyax.unbc.ca/

Appropriate technology
2006-09-19— Posted by: allegra

Here’s the son of a coworker with one severely phat chair.

It’s talk like a Pirate Day
2006-09-19— Posted by: allegra

I can’t talk like a pirate, but I can squeak like a rubber ducky.

Alistair Cooke lives on
2006-09-19— Posted by: allegra

http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/09/19/cooke.ap/index.html

Now, I know I have a fetish for zombie films, but this is both rude and ridiculous. He may be dead, but the lawsuit will be forever.

Waxing my psychic car
2006-09-19— Posted by: allegra

Katie didn’t come home last night, but she did call to say so, so I am content.

If you want tobacco seeds, just ask me. I have lots. Tobacco seeds are the size of flyspecks and an amazing… uh … tobacco brown.

Paul just said to me that he had a totally screwed up night at work, but he sounded too brighteyed to have been summarily dismissed. I quizzed him, and he said something mysterious and interesting so now I can hardly wait for him to get home for some OTHER reason than that I can’t get to work until he brings home the car..

Last night, I dreamed I was somebody else, but when I woke up, I was still 40 pounds overweight. (Actually, I’m down to 180 pounds, which is amazing considering I’m not actually trying to lose weight and it’s fall.)

Had a lovely long chat with Janice last night (I was reading a book she gave me when she called, which I found a wonderful coincidence) and SHE’s going to the SmithSONian today, and you’re not. My mother is blowing her nose in purest envy, I betcha, and I’m envious too, but in the nice way of appreciating cool things happening to your friends rather than wishing that nothing nice ever happened, except to you.

Janice is coming to visit us soon, and THIS TIME we’re going to a poolhall AND a bookstore. I hope. I’m really a lazy layabout these days. Maggie and Chipper also both play pool, why shouldn’t I? Well, apart from the fact that I’m about as coordinated as a drunken binge, nothing, really.

Brother James has forgiven me for trying to part him from his livelihood and expressed his forgiveness by providing Paul and me with exceptionally good advice about buying appliances. He used to sell them, after all, so he has that secret handshake thing down pat.

Have a good day y’all. The blessings of the Divine Wow attend you….

House of Plague
2006-09-19— Posted by: allegra

First mOm sends me an email saying pOp is feeling so lousy he may not go in to work. Now, you must remember ‘work’ for my dad involves Getting Out of Bed, Donning a Bathrobe, and Walking to the Computer Room to Answer the Phone and Empty out the Fax Machine. This means, of course, and I swore like a stevedore when I saw it, that pOp is on the point of expiring. So the NEXT email is that pOp has double pneumonia (I have had pneumonia once, it SUCKED; I tend more to bronchitis and I haven’t had bronchitis in ages thank Guh).

If he doesn’t markedly improve on the drugs he’s been given, he’ll be into the hospital for an IV, and if you are one of those people who rushes the exits when a needle appears, believe me, my pOp’s out the door so far ahead of you that there’s nothing to see but the scorch marks he left in the linoleum. My mOm’s still feeling like animatronic scrap.

I light a candle for the Plague Victims.

Confidential to Swampy… could it be adhesions?

It’s been bally ages since I posted a moose pic
2006-09-18— Posted by: allegra

Ah, a moose picture, from Norway. Moosiness. Ah.

scanged from somethingawful.com
2006-09-18— Posted by: allegra

It’s been bally ages since I posted a decent vampire pic. Stolen from Something Awful.

Burt Rutan interviewed
2006-09-18— Posted by: allegra

Burt Rutan is the very model of the modern libertarian.

http://www.reason.com/hod/tb033105.shtml

I’ve thought this many times
2006-09-18— Posted by: allegra

I stole and mashed this.

To take the taste out of your mouth…….
2006-09-18— Posted by: allegra

So after the “you’ve got a purty mouth” bear kiss, how about a 1700 pound chocolate moose?

http://www.lenlibby.com/lenny.htm

And now for something completely different…
2006-09-18— Posted by: allegra

The ceremonial shooting of the florists. Alan, I saw this, and I thought of you, but I don’t think you and Janice went trapshooting right after yuz got married.

Lucky Number Slevin
2006-09-18— Posted by: allegra

I just watched Lucky Number Slevin again, this time all the way through. It’s a good movie, an interesting collection of surfaces. The script is quite remarkable, likewise lighting, editing, score, set decoration, costuming and the insouciant way the film abandons reality when reality stands in the way of the story. Oh, and the wallpaper. If ever an auteur ever announced his presence with authority, McGuigan sure’s-hell does in this film. The bloody wallpaper is a movie in itself. And the film references. Instead of being shyly deferential and subtle in its film references, the movie dances on your toes and says, “Didja feel that?” The Bond references, the Cary Grant reference. Don’t forget Bond shoots people – or whatever it takes to do the job – although admittedly the job is never revenge as it is with Slevin.

Now, Paul’s take on the movie is that the body count is REALLY REALLY HIGH. Being 1 guy, and then another guy, and then another guy, and then a couple of guys, and then another couple of guys, and then another other other couple of guys. And like that. And then a woman. So yeah, there’s lots of dead guys. Dead losses, most of them.

Josh Hartnett goes from being likable and cuddly to being pure evil by very slightly narrowing his eyes. And I’m sure they messed with his vocal track in that scene. It’s just… eerie. Lucy Liu is so adorable you want to pick her up and take her home, and then maybe (ed. knock it off). Bruce Willis makes one expression last a whole movie without it ever getting boring. I have no idea how he does that, but the effect is amazing. Sir Ben Kingsley does a wonderful job messing with a New York accent; the various hired thugs and bit parts are well cast. Morgan Freeman doesn’t chew scenery so much as he allows himself to be heaved in the air from a blanket of support held by his costars. He obviously loves playing the Paternal Figure of Businesslike Evil.

Stanley Tucci is hot. Okay, I’m sick. But it’s not a bad sickness. I think Brian Dennehy is hot (like, 20 years ago). I think George Clooney is his own class of hotness. I think Sam Waterston is hot. (Now that is sick). I think Dylan Moran has his own temperature scale. And just to prove how sick I am… this picture.

Brayden napping
2006-09-17— Posted by: allegra

Don’t you wish you could still sleep like this???

Various
2006-09-17— Posted by: allegra

One of my aunties is in town for medical treatment. She has the same thing my ma had but the course of treatment is different. Get well soon Auntie D.

mOmandpOp are both feeling under the weather with a range of symptoms I am too squeamish to post, so I am lighting a candle for the rapid resolution of their quartain ague (or whatever the hell you want to call it).

My granny seems to be as fine as you can be when you’re casually sneaking up on your second century of life.

Dax slept over; he’s gone home and Katie’s off to work.

Pic is part of my ongoing effort to post as many pictures as possible of dogs riding horses.

Paul has a nice birthday and so do I
2006-09-16— Posted by: allegra

http://planetgonecrazy.blogspot.com/2006/09/opera-fans-prefer-magic-mushrooms.html

mOm, just read down to the third last paragraph and be prepared to giggle. Make sure you read it to pOp.

Paul had his nicest birthday in years. We feasted him last night at Chong Lum Hin with friends, family and flying buddies; we ate breakfast together this morning at IHOP with the kids (they had been working the night before); and he and I went for a walk in Deer Lake Park and we saw FOUR TURTLES sunning themselves on a log. Happy sigh. Killed ourselves laughing overhearing other people insisting that they ‘weren’t real’. Watched folks get ready for the Lantern Festival tonight.

Then I tried to buy him a birthday present but he insisted on putting it on the household account (!?) which was great because I had also found Three Kings and Bells are Ringing for the kids and he found Bitches Brew (and this is the SECOND time we’ve got the album because it’s been stolen once before) so we ended up buying a lot of media today. Then I treated him (and he let me) to an early dinner at Pho Hong on the Kingsway and then we came home and snoozed.

I finished Lucy Sussex’ The Scarlet Rider and loved it; now I am trying to balance it by reading some more Dale Spender but it’s heavy sledding. I think I will just go back to reading Through Alien Eyes; I’m in a fictiony kinda mood right now.

The kids are home from work, and Paul has gone into work on midnights, and it’s all very peaceful; in about ten minutes Katie is going to a party downtown with Dax and Justin, at which point I suspect Keith and I will be ripping the wrapper off Three Kings. George Clooney, happy sigh.

My heartfelt thanks to the folks who came out to the birthday party; Paul really really enjoyed it.

Please provide caption
2006-09-16— Posted by: allegra

Isn’t this a great picture? Pope Benedict and his ongoing headgear monkey show.

Buying an appliance
2006-09-16— Posted by: allegra

So we figured out which dishwasher we wanted, and, as you may have noticed, Canadian retailers are very grudging about taking your phone calls to give you information. After being on hold for 10 minutes calling a retailer in Bellingham, Paul hung up. Then we called Coast, and they cut me off. Then we called the Bay, and a very nice young man named Afshin took the model information AND CALLED ME BACK within 10 minutes with price and availability, for ten bucks less than the Coast guy had quoted (with no availability). So screw it, if and when we buy a portable dishwasher, it will be from the Bay, because in addition to being less expensive, they gave way better service.

In my continuing efforts to fill the immense demand of my public for more great pictures of Pope Benedict feeding his headgear monkey, I provide you with this “Pope dons Riot Gear” pic. He can come to Fetish Night an-y-time if he’s gonna go for that “aging yuppie biker in a dress” look. It’s from a website which disses the last two Popes as being too worldly. Oh yeah, too worldly. There’s always somebody out there who can out-arch-conservative the Pope; is that a scary thought, or whut? Let’s get something straight. I diss the Popes because they are wily old guys who love me and hate my sin (thanks, fellas) who spend enough on clothes each year to buy school lunches in the City of Vancouver. Hey, did you know people yelled “Santo Subito!” at Pope John Paul II’s funeral? By the will of the people he will be getting his fitting for a halo quite a few years early. Also, Wikipedia reliably informs me (for some reason they’ve locked the Pope’s entry, can you credit it???) that Papa Ratzi will be fast tracking the beatification of the Italian priest murdered in Turkey this past year by a pistol packing teenager who wanted to provide a somewhat percussive commentary on the Catholic Church’s missionary activities in Trabzon. Yeah, all in all, I think the Pope’s visit to Turkey later this year should be a smashing success, although I have spared many a thought for the poor son of a gun who will be running security for the Papal visit to Turkey. My thoughts are with you, whoever you are.

Late breaking tip. If you are collecting tobacco seeds, don’t bite your fingernails afterwards. I’ve accidentally ingested so much tobacco juice that my eyes are blurring and I feel quite light headed.

Grumpy apology
2006-09-14— Posted by: allegra

Brother James is under the impression that I can prevent him from making a living by encouraging people to hang on to their cell phones as long as possible. Since the chances that anybody would pay attention to my advice in this regard are actually smaller than you, James, being hit by lightning while juggling a six ball cascade, I wouldn’t be too worried.

What I should have said was, “I’m sure glad I have an excuse not to buy another phone – I can barely understand the one I have.” So I’m sorry. I should’ve passed on that comment.

It’s like finding out that virtually every chocolate bar I eat that isn’t made of fair trade cocoa makes slaves of little African boys and girls (which is also true, malfortunately, and it’s as true of superfine super$$$ Belgian chocolate as it is of a Brand Name Redacted bar).

I’m going to curl up with a book now, I’ve made enough apologies today. I mean, I cain’t hardly ENJOY anything anymore. Can you?

From Beneath You, They Devour
2006-09-14— Posted by: allegra

Okay, this is just plain frikkin bizarre.

Weird you want, weird you got.

http://news.uns.purdue.edu/UNS/html4ever/2006/060914DeWoodyVole.html

Don’t buy a new phone
2006-09-14— Posted by: allegra

If you buy a new cell phone, you are subsidizing slavery.

http://www.alternet.org/story/41477

Looping back to an earlier post
2006-09-14— Posted by: allegra

01/26/2005

Thought for the day
2006-09-14— Posted by: allegra

I think I have mind like a condom. No matter what I stuff into it, it always goes back to its original shape.

Yeah, well, two beers later
2006-09-12— Posted by: allegra

So I come home and down two quick beers, and feed a few crunchies to Zeek! who’s bugging me for food the second I hit the door like he wasn’t dying this time last week, (note to self: the bastard) and what to my wondering inbox should appear but a note from the local Meetup group organizers association but a link that says, “Join” and I’m kinda in a joining mood these days, except rejoining church, and that’s really really a separate issue, so I’ll just parenthesise myself here (yet again) by saying that all that needs to happen is for the Reverend to actually formally ask me to rejoin and I will, but it never seemed to occur to anybody to ask me to stay, which really fucking amazed me at the time I quit. It was like everybody was secretly relieved to see the back of me, the minister most of all. Okay, Tom and Peggy do count; they did ask me to stay, but I was holding out for a formal request for the minister, and can you believe it never happened? She promised to call me about it two Novembers ago – or maybe one, I should check my records – I guess it didn’t matter because I was still pledging. Nem di gelt, baybeee!!! Where was I.

Quick note, following up on earlier post. Harlan Ellison quoth “I stand naked and defenseless before your absolutely correct chiding” with respect to the groping of Connie Willis. Like bite my shiny metal ass, ya puta. I meant to type putz, but stet baby stet.

Oh, ya, the Meetup.com organizers. Anyway, they asked me to join and then asked a bunch of rather imprudent questions, because here are my answers. Shit, I think I’m burning my perogies. Nope, they are Keith cooked, which means they are hanging on the hairy edge of burned. Okay, herewith my Meetup.com answers….Of course I’m half-snapped, you idiot, and you’d be too if you were full of things you couldn’t commit to a public forum and two hours away from a conversation in which you could talk about it….. Hi mOm. I’ll call ya later. PS Paul and I are getting along fine, ditto Dr. Filk, the kids, and my coworkers. I’m just a leedle brain burnt….. and hey Sandy/Chipper, Brother James, Bro & Sis Alan&Janice, Dr. Filk (who hath none like him) Brother Peter, Brother Jeff, Brother Jerome, P., Ubersis Peggy, Filkola, Uberbro FIL and Cousin Gerald, PatRICia, I love you all and things are actually fine. I’m just watching my daughter dandle other people’s babies and getting fucking nervous.

Okay, the screen shot….

enough sleep
2006-09-12— Posted by: allegra

Katie showed up at dawn, saying, come and look, it’s a gorgeous sunrise. I’m like, and you’ve been where? But that’s kind of a buttheaded comment, and I gave her the Starbucks card (which my boss gave me yesterday morning by way of apologizing for making me do a real day’s work for a change -long story.) Then she asked me why my MP3 player doesn’t work, and I said, “Well it hasn’t worked for a while!” subtext wtf are you doing in my room going through my drawers.

Speaking of drawers, I’m wearing silk Nordstrom lingerie right now, and you’re not.

I have a tremendous urge to drink all the beer in the fridge and not go to work today. I have no idea where that came from, but considering that today will be a better day than yesterday, and that there’s only one beer cold in the fridge, that’s probably not the best possible use of my time. And I already packed my lunch.

We’re all doing famously here. Except I have to clean the house for a meeting I foolishly agreed to hold. But no good deed goes unpunished. (Clare Boothe Luce). And at the Filkhouse, no good feed goes unpunned. I should shut’er down, I’m obviously too goofy for words right now.

Cutie pie
2006-09-11— Posted by: allegra

I am a big fan of Richard Feynman, and here’s the puckish bongo playing wildman hisself, talking ’bout nanotech in November 1960.

This is for Paul
2006-09-11— Posted by: allegra

This pic is from the June 1940 PopSci.

Zeek! – ignore if you hate cats
2006-09-11— Posted by: allegra

I swore never to give my heart to a companion animal again, and then you know what that first successful feline-porcine cross does? Insists on jumping into my lap while I’m on the computer. He’s never done that the entire time he’s been living with us. He hung around (thought balloon “Her lap seems so much bigger when she’s on the sofa”) for about ten minutes and then jumped down. All I want is a kitty who will sit in my lap while I write, just like Bounce used to do. Heavy sigh.

Thought and Memory
2006-09-11— Posted by: allegra

I light a candle for the dead of this day, 5 years ago.

Mt. Bromo is about to burp
2006-09-10— Posted by: allegra

Here’s an Indonesian volcano called Mt. Bromo.

Zeek! update – ignore if you hate cats
2006-09-10— Posted by: allegra

Zeek! ate independently this morning, drank at least half a cup of water, and to all intents and purposes appears to be on the mend. We still have no idea what the hell is wrong with him, and he could rudely get sick on us again, but he likely would have died without an IV so let’s just assume this is all working out for the best. I’ll quit posting about him unless he starts discoursing on Shakespeare or starts acting like he’s dying again.

Housefilk
2006-09-10— Posted by: allegra

Pic is HIDEOUS new 747 Cargo plane. It looks like a corpulent banana slug with wings.

Housefilk and Tom and Peggy’s last night was AMAZING. Mal’s Song played & sung by the songwriters (Michelle and Tony). Squeeeee squeee. And I cry EVERY SINGLE TIME Dr Filk plays The Guardians. And I cry every time Brooke sings The Eagle has Landed. And it’s so fun matching the livejournal monikers to the people. (Expecially when Mike and Agnes say, “What is this LJ you are speaking of?” and Janice explains, with her usual celerity and clarity.)

Although, I have to say that the high point of the evening was when Tony sang Frank Hayes’ When I was a Boy. (“And we programmed in Ones and Zeroes… and sometimes we ran out of Ones.”) And then sang the Priapic version (“When Viagra was where they have falls”). I laughed until I cried. Tony is one flash guitar player and he sings purty good too.

Zeek! update – ignore if you hate cats
2006-09-09— Posted by: allegra

We spent almost a thousand dollars on him – well, the South Burnaby Animal Hospital has to pay for its new facility somehow – and got PRESSURED into giving him an abdominal ultrasound for another $300 – which pressure we politely disregarded – and brought him home. We are now having to force feed him. I managed to get the IV bandage off him with Keith’s assistance, but getting enough food into him is turning into a full time job. He’s eating enough to keep a cat on a very strict diet alive, but no more, and he doesn’t appear to be drinking enough. I’m not prepared to spend more money on him except in terms of palliation, and while Paul is not as hard core as me about the money side of things, he’s leaning my way. The stupid thing is that he obviously WANTS to eat. But at the last minute he veers off. Heavy sigh.

Spying on the directors & other comments.
2006-09-09— Posted by: allegra

I note that Sarbanes Oxley is (not) continuing to raise the moral IQ of American companies. HP knifed itself in the toe by spying on its own directors, in an attempt to find out which of the little weasels was leaking like a drunken teenager to the media. Didn’t know the methods they used were illegal. It is to turn a laugh into a cough.

I note that Chevron has made an enormous discovery. Mazel Tov, guys! Now build some more refineries. Then I will believe there’s enough oil.

New Zombie Flick is Good – So Buzz Sayeth
2006-09-08— Posted by: allegra

Word from the Toronto International Fillum Festival is that Fido, the new “sort of like Sean of the Dead” film, is really funny and really creepy. I may even take my brother to see it. And it has Carrie Ann Moss in it, too.

09/05 – looping back to a previous post
2006-09-08— Posted by: allegra

The nameless coworker who forwarded me the link about cosmetically bleaching your anus said, “Oh, Allegra. You must never watch porn movies.”

“I AM a porn movie,” I said. This of course is the merest bravado; I can provide no evidence that will stand up anywhere, let alone in court, in supporting such an assertion; I think Paul will hurt himself shaking his head when he reads that.

“No, I mean if you watched porn movies you’d know that porn stars all get their anuses bleached, and now just plain folks do it.”

Never have I been more thankful not to be just plain folks.

I pity the manager who walked in during the last sentence of this conversation. (I just made that up, but it would have been pretty funny).

Now, how can I put this in my blog? This disgusting, pointless anecdote, that merely proves my grade five sense of humor, and the ditto ditto of my coworkers?? Ah, the kicker is that my mother will read this aloud to my father. Snort.

Poor Kira – ignore if you hate cats.
2006-09-08— Posted by: allegra

She saw Zeek! leave in a cat carrier yesterday and he hasn’t come home yet. She is wandering all through the house, into Dr Filk’s place, upstairs, outside through the front door, outside through the back door, and you can see the little thought balloon. Where is he? Where is he? She’s not crying, but she’s very very sucky – for her – and she’s obviously distressed.

Keith rescues me!!!
2006-09-08— Posted by: allegra

Ah, when your kids get old enough to perform roadside rescues, life is good.

So, enniwess, I’m driving down 16th (site of two previous, somewhat more spectacular breakdowns – an axle snapping and a vehicle fire – oh, I’ve never told that story?) when my cell phone rings. Now, I pulled over, because driving and talking on the phone are nasty habits in and of themselves, but simply intolerable in combination. I call back the vet clinic to get an update on Zeek! (he’s eating a little, the IV is in and he’s hydrated, we’ll know more tomorrow).

That’s when I discovered I’d left the lights on.

Mildly annoyed at my own stupidity, I pulled out the Xpower Portable Power Generator that has been in the car for months (duly taken into the house occasionally to be charged) and, after carefully reading, and then rereading the instructions, get the car fired up. Pleased with my calm response to an emergency, I leap up to disconnect the jumper cable clips.

And promptly lock myself out of the car.

Which is merrily running.

So, looking plump, inoffensive, white and female, I hail a passing car, and in two minutes two stopped, but guy #1 had no cell phone, and gal #2 did, so I sent guy #1 away with words of sincere gratitude and phoned up Keith. To the best of my recollection, the conversation went as follows:

Keith, I’m on a borrowed cell phone. Can you please grab the spare car key and your cell phone and ride out to me about the same place the BugBus died?
(brief croggled pause) I gave it back to you. (another brief croggled pause) Maybe it’s on the fridge still….

Never mind that then, just grab your cell phone and get out here.
Okay.
(a thought occurs) Hey, Keith, do you have any minutes on your cell phone?
F*&%^!
Okay, just jump on your bike and get here.

Keith located the key and was holding it up so I could see it glinting in the setting sun as he approached on his bike (he made damned good time, too).

Thus was I rescued.

My heart was made glad by my ability to raise a Useful Person up from a squalling infant. Actually Keith didn’t squall much. He was equable right from the get go. All the same, you will take my point.

Number of the beast
2006-09-07— Posted by: allegra

It’s going to cost $666 to bail my cat out of the vet. He’s staying overnight. His abdomen is very tender and he’s dehydrated as all get out; or he was. He’s had an IV in him since this morning. Folks, this is BEFORE a diagnosis. This is not looking good.

Milagros update
2006-09-07— Posted by: allegra

As my legion of fans (all three of them) know, I have been following the progress of the pride of Lima, Milagros the little mermaid. Here’s an update.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/5325082.stm

Mother dear Mother -Talk like a Pirate day Sept 19
2006-09-07— Posted by: allegra

Please knit me a pirate booty bag!!!

Also can be adapted for biohazard symbols.

http://www.talklikeapirate.com/download/bootybag.pdf

Okay, I know you’re sick (she’s so sick that pOp dragged her off to the sawbones, whujjereckon?) and extremely busy dragging elderly relatives into the 19th century. But isn’t it wonderful?

Zeek! came home
2006-09-07— Posted by: allegra

Zeek! has come back in. He turned up his nose at breakfast (so did Kira, I think they dislike this new cat food) and now his reward is to go to the vet.

Germaine Greer lecturing the grieving
2006-09-07— Posted by: allegra

You know, it’s a sad and human thing to want to lecture people when they are doing something which appears dumb, but I believe Germaine Greer made something of an error in criticizing the Australians who are grieving the death of Steve Irwin, Croc Hunter. If she had said something along the lines of “He harassed wildlife for fun and profit, and he orphaned his children in such a fashion that they’ll be able to watch his death 17 billion times, and now he’s going to live in rerun heaven,” that would have been a personal observation, tasteless, but personal.

To hector the grieving multitudes with how dumb they are to have feelings for an animal annoyance specialist is a sign that after all these years, Germaine Greer has the temperament of a premenstrual teenaged girl. You know, crabby, and mouthy, and holding the human family up to impossibly high standards of conduct and intelligence.

People we see all the time on TV, especially the larger than life ones, become real to us, and it’s like Germaine doesn’t ‘get’ that. I mean, when Princess Di died (my mOm broke the news to me as I came through the door for a visit to Victoria) I was at first astounded that somebody as rich as that would die in such a mundane way. (I was going to say ‘pedestrian’ and then realized it wasn’t quite the right word.) Then, when I found out she hadn’t the brains to click-it, I exploded to my mother, “That woman orphaned her children because she was too frikkin stupid to do up her seatbelt.” But I noted in the global outpouring of grief that followed Di’s death that my opinion was WAYYYYY in the minority, and kept my trap shut.

In my opinion, Germaine Greer would have been wise to do the same. For I would rather look like an idiot grieving than like a callous f*ckwit lecturing. Allegra has spoken.

Oooh, quick note, this is not to deride her other writings, most especially the Obstacle Race. Which rocks.

Expletive deleted
2006-09-07— Posted by: allegra

I used to curse on my blog a lot, and this morning I am tempted to repeat what I said when I got up and surveyed my domain (so to speak) and discovered that Zeek! messed off out of the house when Katie came home from work midnightish. He may or may not come home before I have to leave for work this morning. It’s very, very inconvenient when your cat is moribund enough to require immediate medical attention, and lively enough to avoid it.

I’m going to go have a shower, maybe he’ll be sitting at the back door when I get out.

George Carlin
2006-09-06— Posted by: allegra

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yL6ULruYjNA

Arghh
2006-09-06— Posted by: allegra

Zeek! is NOT at the vet’s right now. He left the house about the time Paul tried to catch him. I have to take him in tomorrow morning; I hope he doesn’t, you know, die on me or anything like that because there’d be hell to pay from the kids. And I would be a lot sadder than I’m letting on, although I have to tell you that after Bounce I made the mighty vow that I would never fully give my heart again to a companion animal.

Pope Benedict Oh my spurs, go jingle jangle jingle….
2006-09-06— Posted by: allegra

Benny, Benny. I am almost, but not entirely speechless.

He’s trying to rescuscitate all the hats ever worn by popes. So nu? A yarmulke isn’t good enough for you?

Yikes
2006-09-06— Posted by: allegra

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/british-columbia/story/2006/09/06/bc-bridge.html

Baby pic
2006-09-06— Posted by: allegra

Happy sigh. Can’t have too many baby pics. From Cousin Gerald, his “going concern” of a grandson!

Typo
2006-09-06— Posted by: allegra

Uh, that’s HANGERS, not HANGARS. I’m a beeg gurl, but I don’t need airplane parking spots for my clothes.

Heavy sigh
2006-09-06— Posted by: allegra

Janice picked me up from work, happy sigh, so I got a lift home in a convertible. We raided the fridge for supper and went for Anny’s Ice Cream after. It’s nice to eat soft ice cream that isn’t substantially bentonite clay. And you can get real Quebec poutine and Montreal smoked meat there.

However, Katie didn’t come home, because of (ow! quit kicking!) okay, I won’t say why except that it was physically non-threatening, but Paul and I are not quite knowing what to make of it all. She was on the way to school when I got hold of her this morning – and she works tonight. I really don’t think she’s going to be able to keep this up, but we shall see.

Zeek! has lost an incredible amount of weight and is at the vet’s right now. I’ll be picking him up tonight after his bloodwork. When he jumped on the bed for a cuddle this morning (and he hasn’t tried to do that for a couple of weeks) he was lighter than Kira; he’s more active than he was over the weekend, but he’s still not eating or drinking much. He doesn’t smell as funny as he did the other day. Janice says his gums are greyish and that’s not a good sign – I’m such a terrible cat owner I had no idea that was a quick diagnostic. Wish him luck. I find it really creepy that we went to visit the late lamented Bounce’s grave the same weekend Zeek! really showed signs of being unwell.

Janice donated TWO WEEKS worth of clothing to me. In the stack she brought up from Seattle there were three items I didn’t immediately scange; I literally had to pull the equivalent volume of clothing out of my closet because I don’t have sufficient hangars! So Janice (pace Alan,) went through the bye bye pile and lemme tell you, she looks WAY better in most of those clothes than I ever did. And the bye bye clothes from THAT pile go off to Value Village – whence most of them originated. So yes, Janice is taking home MUCH LESS than she brought up.And the ciiiiirrrcle of liiiiiife……

Don’t do it.
2006-09-05— Posted by: allegra

This is an extremely ephemeral link, but this story, if true, is quite hilarious. And if it isn’t true, it’s amazing that somebody thought of it.

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/rnr/203447614.html

So if the link is gone, I’ll condense down the moral as: “Don’t cosmetically bleach your anus.” I mean, until today I didn’t even know that it was possible!!! I heart Craigslist.

various
2006-09-05— Posted by: allegra

I heard yesterday what had some people so choked about the Hugo Awards; apparently Harlan Ellison groped Connie Willis ON STAGE. Now that he is a dirty little old man, I guess the charm of this situation did not sufficiently impress itself upon Connie, who, behaving like an adult and sacrificing her immediate rights of requital in this matter (Boot to the Head!) kept On with the Show.

Harlan has written and done many things for women’s rights, but it’s amazing how you can founder a reputation on a little piece of sophomoronic fun. Shame, Harlan.

Dr. Filk is home from his travels. He made Edmonton in one day on Thursday; that’s 1200 kilometers on a bike. Better his ass than mine, I guess.

Paul and I went to the Puddle yesterday and I asked the fitness instructor on duty for L5S1 exercises and she said, do this and do this, and I did so, and all the sensation came back into my foot for about five minutes. I’m a little sore today but pretty chipper.

Janice is coming up for a week and I am so looking forward to seeing her.

Alan took Brooke to Archie McPhee over the weekend… Uh, just in case I haven’t posted the link before… www.mcphee.com. Oh look! They’ve just come out with glow-in-the-dark Office Zombies! Let’s just say there’s a gift in there for somebody YOU love, and it’s an evil evil place.

I light a candle for the Canadian and American firefighters of the Tatoosh and Tripod complex fires.

ID Theft makes Toronto Man Lose House SCARY. Sandy, read this article….

Companion animals
2006-09-04— Posted by: allegra

If you don’t like cats, skip to the end of this blog.

Zeek! (the exclamation point is part of his name, I don’t know why, it was a condition of my getting custody of him that I maintain the exclamation point) has been very off color for the last couple of days. Anybody who has ever met him knows that he is a) noisy b) greedy & c) gregarious. As I have said many times, he is a teenaged boy, lamentably trapped in a neutered cat’s body.

For the last few days he has been a) quiet b) eating perhaps 20% of his normal daily intake and c) hiding under the sofa I got from Granny. (The local equivalent of the Charmed Couch of Morpheus).

I am pleased to report that as of this morning he was much noisier and ate almost all of his breakfast and deigned to be picked up for a quick cuddle. That’s a good thing, because otherwise Paul and I were going to take him to the vet emergency room today – Labor Day, how charming – and we were hopping from one foot to the other while considering the expense. We will be taking him to the regular vet for bloodwork later this week, as obviously he may be a lot sicker than he looks. Katie’s immediate reaction was to try to feed him some black forest ham, which he refused, which freaked her out so badly she lay on the floor cooing over him and trying to get him to come out from under the couch.

He doesn’t have any obvious lumps or sore spots. I suspect some kind of infection.

Last night Keith got a message from a friend to act as back up in a situation possibly requiring judicious amounts of force. By the time he got home from The Illusionist the situation had resolved itself and he bitterly commented that he missed out on some excitement. I was too tired to comment at that point (I have to be plenty tired not to talk, as those who know me well know well) but I recollect thinking that if he’s looking for a scrap he can go to Gastown when the bars close and that should feed his monkey for months (as he recovers in hospital). Paul should be home from work in about half an hour…. I should prob’ly wash some dishes, or something domestic and icky like that.

Horses and dogs
2006-09-03— Posted by: allegra

This picture scanged from the BBC website, via Fark, no credit for the photo. This is the second horseriding dog pic I’ve posted. If you want to see the other one, check the archives (18th July 2005).

This little piggy
2006-09-03— Posted by: allegra

http://www.heartsonnoses.com/

This link is for me mum. Unless you are fabulously into pigs (and rilly rilly bad spelling and grammer) give this one a pass.

Delayed reaction from the camping trip
2006-09-03— Posted by: allegra

Re Delayed reaction from the camping trip:

Sometimes you have to wait a while for all the feelings to resolve, and all the thoughts to coalesce (I can hear Dr Filk saying, “Don’t hold your breath, Chuckles!”) before you can pin down the defining moment. In this case, it was Jerome, beer in hand, turning to me and in accents of utmost horror, saying, “You’ve never HEARD the Hockey Song?” (by Stompin Tom Connors).

“Uh, no.” I have no idea how I ended up being a white Canadian and making it to an age not unadjacent to 50 without hearing it, but yes, it was true.

And so my defining memory of the camping trip is looking at Jerome, singing along to the Ipod to the twinkling lights of Nanaimo.

Flash for’ard a couple of days, and there’s me, looking up the lyrics, for I am a compulsive woman, and I find out that AVRIL LAVIGNE has covered that song. I love my country. Thanks Jerome.

Catching up.
2006-09-03— Posted by: allegra

I had the pleasure of receiving a long, finely crafted and extremely hilarious email from Kevin D, with whom I haven’t spoken in lo these many years; it contained, among other things, a very amusing anecdote about Robin Williams. Very apropos, given that Keith seems inclined to Memorize the Entire Spoken Part of Robin Williams Live on Broadway.

He came through the back door last night and made very happy noises about the Cobb’s bread, and I told him to thank his pop, it was Paul’s idea.

Looping back to comedy, Margaret Cho’s in town this month. It’s probably sold out but I’m going to talk to Paul and see if he’s free that night.

Quel horreur! Quhat follie be this???? Lord Tubby of Crashedharbor and Breasty Babs FORCED by cruellll fate and the American judishiary to live on 25K a month? Each? American, I hasten to add. Guess you’re gonna have to cut back on the live flower delivery, Babs, but I don’t know what Tubby’s going to do about the customized Depends order.

Tex Ritter’s birth name was Maurice, although he WAS born in Texas. Okay, Kevin, you’re so smart… what’s the popcultref?

The word TRIP in Wikipedia does NOT contain a stub for Guilt Trip. This is an outrage. Why, if I wasn’t so busy, I’d write it myself, but really, the only person who could write it would either have to be Jewish or my workmate’s mom.

Hot Tub Mike and I finally communicated by phone. He’s liking the new job, finding it a challenge, and then the learning curve starts all over again as he’s at SFU finishing up his MBA starting later this month. Little dance of joy. Tori is doing famously; I didn’t get to talk to her because she was still at work.

I went from zero to green beans, corn and grilled chops in exactly 30 minutes last night. It was good to sit on the back deck with Katie and Paul and eat it.

Katie got dressed up last night because she thought she was going to PoCo to hang with friends. Then the guy she was going to meet said, “Well, it will be really boring. I’ll call you back when I’m drunk.” Te he. Needless to say, Katie thought this brushoff one of the worst ever (okay, Adrian’s only 16 and obviously he’s clueless even when he hasn’t been drinking) and promptly arranged to hang with Jessica D. Big big sigh from parental units. She’s back in her own bed, happy sigh, and I won’t wake her until she emerges, mouldiewarp-wise, from her bed.

Keith asked for more hours at work, and appears to have received them. That’s easy around a long weekend; let’s see what happens when it isn’t.

Dr Filk is off visiting rellies in Alberta, on his motorbike. The joint just isn’t the same without him. Is it the noise? Is it the smell? (Not him personally, his cooking is quite different from ours and usually smells purty good). Is it the sound of him tooling up on the Beemer, which allows me to think “All my peeps are home, I can sleep now”? Is it the way he prefaces his (un)reasonable demands with, “Dear, kindly, sweet, GENerous sister-in-common-law”? It is all of these things and more… he is a dear lad, and I miss him. He’ll be back in a couple of days.

Pic is of Descanso Park on Gabriola, taken through one of the many interesting rock formations on the beaches there.

Small farmer’s story
2006-09-02— Posted by: allegra

http://www.acresusa.com/toolbox/reprints/Salatin_Sept03.pdf

Forgive the spelling and get the message.

Anagrams
2006-09-02— Posted by: allegra

My name has 66 pages, three columns per page, of anagrams. The internet is a bad place for people seeking displacement activities. Why, I started hitting Random Page in Wikipedia the other day and didn’t come back to ‘reality’ for about 2 hours. In my other inertnet travels I’ve run across this: http://wordsmith.org/anagram/

Think, oh people, of a name which anagrams to Salmonella Rag (my nom de guerre for the songs I’m not so proud of), and contains both ale and lager (although not at the same time).
A manager lolls!
Re: a mall slogan.
Ma, roll lasagne!
Amoral gal lens.
Galleon alarms.
Alas, legal norm!
Oral angel alms.
Groan, small ale.

Anyway, you get the idea. Pages and pages and pages. When I write my biography, each chapter is going to be an anagram of my name.
No llama lagers.
Ow. Make it stop.

The age old question
2006-09-01— Posted by: allegra

Pic credit AP, a perfect depiction of the age old question.

Katie got home before Paul left last night so we all had a nice long chat. She’s hoping to work full time and go to school full time and this will be possible because she has sworn off men for a year. Now, all together!!! Adopt that stern expression adults wear when children say something completely nonsensical, but the adults dare not laugh in their shiny-clean faces.

Let’s just say that she’s got a killer regimen planned, and she’s going to want some days off in there, and what happens if she gets sick? I await developments with the interest of somebody who has a clear but not vital interest.

Somebody, I suspect Paul, brought carob chips into the house. They are disgusting! I suspect some other people found them so too because they left them to melt in the sink and somebody – wish I knew who – dropped some onto the floor where I promptly ground them into one of the kitchen rugs. Grr.

Oh, grEAT! Now I can hear cats defooding in the downstairs hall. And I’m getting migraine twinklies. Oh well, another 10 hours or so and I can get back to the job of collapsing for three days straight.

Brother James went mano a mano with his manager in a day long sales and call volume smackdown, and I’m not going to post the stats out of respect for his manager, but it was:

a slaughter

a shellacking

a righteous drubbing

massacre-wise, a success

a hollicking great smiting

rather one sided

lacking drama

an asskicking of capital proportions

and a decisive victory for James. And he won fifty bucks, don’t forget that.

A great religious quote
2006-08-31— Posted by: allegra

Quote is from Helmut Theilike

The Gospel must be constantly forwarded to a new address, because the recipient repeatedly changes residences.

Elephants on Xanax
2006-08-31— Posted by: allegra

http://www.fox21.com/Global/story.asp?S=5321339&nav=2KPp

Just in case this link has disappeared, it’s the heartwarming story of how Tanzy the Elephant at the Abilene Zoo quit bugging her barnmate and the keepers when they started putting ibuprofen and Xanax in her chow. Somehow “Elephants on Xanax” was too good a subject heading to pass up. It also reminds me of (editor’s note, knock it off) something I probably should stop talking about right now. Never mind.

Peaceful
2006-08-31— Posted by: allegra

Apart from the Burnaby Now exploding all over our front yard when the minion who delivers it didn’t put it through the mail slot, life is peaceful. I’m off to run/walk/cycling with Peggy and Paul.

I have added a verse to Spinal Clinic. I suspect it will end up being quite a bit longer.

Stolen from weaselwords.com
2006-08-30— Posted by: allegra

Stakeholder engagement — the state of being betrothed to Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Albino pygmy marmosets
2006-08-30— Posted by: allegra

They’ll be a whole 3.5 ounces when they’re grown. Photo Reuters.

Quick correction
2006-08-30— Posted by: allegra

Uh, that should be ‘ex-boyfriends’, in that last post. Katie is not working on polyandry, to the best of my knowledge.

New ringtone
2006-08-30— Posted by: allegra

I screeched the siren call of sushi last night, and Keith and Kate both came home!!! Amazing how food works on people.

I have also, like a complete maroon, started a Meetup group for Simplicity in the Lower Mainland. If Glenn is reading this he is either cackling in disbelief or rubbing his eyes, as he has told me that I have a hellishly complex life (or words to that effect). I don’t think my life is hellishly complex, but I could sure stand to do with less stuff in my life, and it would be nice to have some encouragement.

Last night I wrote out “teamwork” which is my new attempt at a ringtone. I selected a drum track to go with it, so it’s B flat trumpet, acoustic bass and percussion, and it actually sounds pretty good. Still trying to figure out how to upload it to a phone. I am a very slow individual.

Paul’s home tonight, yay. I should get out the door to work, after taking most of yesterday afternoon off.

I’m feeling fine today, I went to bed reasonably early. And I even did the dishes and my laundry before I went to bed, so despite the fact that I was in ‘post migraine’ mood, which involves a lot of walking into walls and not being able to talk so good, I was at least able to move. My back’s worse, though.

Two out of three of Kate’s boyfriends called yesterday, and man, that does NOT sweeten her temper. She’s been hanging wit da girlfriends, though, which is good, and committing retail therapy, which made me a little twitchy, until I found out it was a 7 dollar item.

Spider Robot News
2006-08-29— Posted by: allegra

http://www.industrialus.com/spider/#

Scroll down for the AVI files to see the critter in motion. Cool upon Cool!

EXCELSIOR
2006-08-29— Posted by: allegra

Short week next week! Whatever shall I do with the long weekend?

While I was at work yesterday a bug decided to crawl around under my clothes. I am SO proud of myself. I did not leap up shrieking and clawing at myself. I encouraged whatever it was to get out, and eventually it quit moving. I later found the whatever-it-was, something antlike, or miniature wasplike, stuck, quite dead, in my hair.

I have received a wonderful story from my relatives about Bootlegging Mary. One of the stories involves her being done wrong by one of her inlaws back in the old country. He looked her up in the new country to repay her and she more or less told him that a) finding out who stole the stuff and b) getting an apology were good enough for her and refused repayment. That sounds exactly like something I would do. I think I know where I got my strange hoofs and my stranger halo. When you see my relatives ranged in rows lustily singing hymns though, you will also be forced to admit how my presence in the family is a dire necessity.

Paul is in Seattle. He says he ate yummy fish and chips at a restaurant close by to the folks. Alan and Janice are doing famously.

So many things at work have been EXACTLY what is happening at Dilbert that a small group of us are getting a frisson of weirdness about it. Dilbert is a reality show, you know that, right?”

Faces of chasers
2006-08-28— Posted by: allegra

What kind of person is a storm chaser? check out this rogue’s gallery. Other portions of the site are molto cool.

http://skydiary.com/chasers/chasers.html

Overheard at the Call Centre
2006-08-28— Posted by: allegra

Once again, I must insist that this didn’t happen at the call centre at my company. I don’t even know if it’s true…..so I am not reporting it as such.

Rep: Thanks for calling, how can I help you?

Customer: Ya, I finally got the trojan out and now I am ready to reinstall my system.

Rep: I hope you are talking about your internet sir…because I am not that type of guy.

Where we watched the stars
2006-08-27— Posted by: allegra

Shown is a miniature natural amphitheatre, where Jerome set up his One Watt Per Side (feel the Powah!) IPod, stuck it on ‘random’ and we sat and in some cases collapsed and watched the stars. (Dave Matthews, Tom Petty, Queensryche, Aerosmith – you know, party music). From here our conversation or music couldn’t bother any of the other campers. It was EERIE how quiet the campground was. It was bung full; every space taken; and yet at 11 o’clock it was so quiet that when we wandered back from our little ‘office’ by the water, we felt like we had to whisper and tiptoe.

After all the crap my back has been through, I am pleased to report that my back is better now than it was when I left.

To recap…. we had a glorious time, and I can’t wait to go back. Anyplace where I can see or hear herons, and kingfishers, and eagles, and seals, and jellyfish many times a day is a beautiful place. And… Descanso Provincial Park is actually open year round! Happy sigh.

Paul cleans the tent
2006-08-27— Posted by: allegra

Here is Paul (Jerome and Mike McG in the background) demonstrating how to get the crap out of a tent.

The view as we ate
2006-08-27— Posted by: allegra

Obviously a digital photo taken by an amateur can’t do it justice, but this was the view for our meal, complete with harbor seals and cormorants….

Things happen for a reason
2006-08-27— Posted by: allegra

Gabriola was, as always, gorgeous; the company, the food, the weather, the many funny stories, the stars above and the water below and the pines in between were balm for the soul.

Pic is of one of the many interesting rock formations on Gabriola.

Many people were invited to the feast at Konrad and Linda’s on Saturday night, but only six of us showed. Frankly, I’m sure it was a relief to have a manageable number of people for them, and for us, it was an opportunity for a meal fit for royalty in a perfect setting.

Prank
2006-08-25— Posted by: allegra

This is a picture of two unidentified coworkers pranking yet another coworker. They filled his ball with water and didn’t tell him.

I am pleased to report that the prankee, after his initial discomfiture with the truly bizarre sound and unique rolling characteristics generated by this prank, took it in good spirits, thereby adding to the morale of our department. That is all.

Blogpause
2006-08-25— Posted by: allegra

Katie worked last night, and came home last night, and now I somehow have to give her the money I took out from her check without waking her up.

Paul’s riding/running with Peggy. I gotta go do my exercises.

Keith rode his bike to and from Karate last night. He was very happy to find out that riding the bike is quite a bit faster than taking the bus, and will, as he puts it “Markedly Improve My Conditioning”.

I love shopping for camping trips…. buying all the crap you don’t normally get to. Anyway, more later.

Won’t likely be blogging this weekend
2006-08-24— Posted by: allegra

It is possible that I won’t be blogging at all starting tomorrow morning, but I should have a full trip report – if I don’t find an inertnet cafe on Gabriola – on Sunday night. So worry not, dear mOm, I shall return, though the way be flinty, the road be long, and BC Ferries ever so uncooperative. Paul will be coming in Saturday around 2ish, so I’m VERY happy about that.

Time to pack, yck.

Bela Lugosi is the King around here
2006-08-24— Posted by: allegra

I am pleased to report that after wrestling with it for almost two weeks, I have finally completed Bela Lugosi is the King around here, and can move on to the next song. You’ll have to forgive me, it’s almost 100 bars long, because every verse is markedly different from the others. “I showed her Plan 9 from Outer Space, she said, That’s it, I give up on the whole human race. Have no fear, someone brought more beer, and Bela Lugosi is the King around here!”

How else can I claim immortality, than by lyrics such as these? I cheated though, I didn’t put in the chords. Pic is of the man, hisself.

Not enough sleep
2006-08-24— Posted by: allegra

I went to bed immediately after supper last night, for a variety of reasons which need not trouble my narrative, and woke up at 3 to the sound of unstealthy movements outside my door. I got up to whine at Keith and there was Katie. !! Happy surprise. Groggily I cast about for a reason to encourage her to ‘set a spell’ with me, and made her some chocolate milk. We talked for about an hour. It was entirely remarkable how we have virtually the same reactions to some situations. (Instant rage, for example, or inability to speak.)

After a thoroughly satisfactory chat with her, I crawled back into bed at 4:11 am, so I’m a little punchy now. Other happy news; Katie had been dreading, just dreading, her cell phone bill. She found out to her glee and astonishment that because her boyfriend has the same cell phone company, her bill was $15 LESS than last month. When she saw the total I thought her eyes would pop out of her head. Sometimes the news isn’t all bad. Brother James, I thank you for selling me that phone!!!

Jake’s Golden Morning
2006-08-23— Posted by: allegra

Photo credit Dave Deroy, all rights reserved.

Dave, did you ever consider doing pet photography for a living? What a gorgeous photo, what a gorgeous dog.

One thing and another
2006-08-23— Posted by: allegra

Rob of 9 promised me aircraft pictures and didn’t cough up, the swine, so here’s something of Paul’s (a friend’s Yak 18T, taken at Point Roberts) – and Paul DIDN’T get to go flying at Pemberton yesterday, the towplane lost a magneto about half an hour before he and his flying buddy got there. Okay, so they went for a nice drive on a gorgeous day, but even so…

No word from Katie in almost 48 hours. Grr.

Good physio, but slept funny (again) and my foot’s numb.

Happy birthday Protein Man, and many more, etc etc.

Lovely long talk with Janice last night. Free range conversation over every subject imaginable but substantially about books and authors. It’s disconcerting, but pleasant, to mention a book and then Janice says, “Yes, I’ve met her,” which gives me the feeling that my great great grandfather’s friends must have gotten when he mentioned that he’d had tea with Carlyle again. Janice and I are happily plotting the next set of visits back and forth across the line.

I have learned that I have twin second cousins once removed who own a boutique in Nob Hill in San Francisco. I don’t need an excuse to go back to San Francisco, but this adds to the pile of Irresistable Reasons.

dreaming
2006-08-22— Posted by: allegra

Last night I dreamed I went to a third world country. Not precisely sure where. I was fine until I had to find a washroom.

Paul is going flying today.

My physiotherapist shifted my appointment from yesterday to today, so even if I wanted to go to Jericho Beach Folk Club tonight I couldn’t. I do have the car, but I’m not going to overturn the results of a perfectly good physio appointment by driving three quarters of an hour across town in the tail end of rush hour traffic. Coming home and collapsing has ever so much more appeal. Besides, I have to shop for the camping trip. Oh, camping trip! Unless there’s an inertnet cafe on the island, I won’t be blogging this weekend; mind you I will likely be too overcome by my various excesses to worry much about that. Sun, air, wildlife and beer. Indeed.

Keith is still asleep; Paul’s out riding/running with Peggy, and Katie is in Maple Ridge. She is coming home for such magical parental input (Paul is responsible for this) as dental appointments and picking up a larner’s parmit. Yes, after all the whizzing and moaning about how she was never going to learn to drive, Katie has her L, and we have the higher insurance rates to prove it. Perhaps the fact that her esteemed bf has a car (not that he can currently drive or insure it, and you can all hiss me for my villainous cattiness – although to be fair the vehicle apparently runs great) has something to do with her new enthusiasm.

The insurance company coughed up some money for my disability, so we can now, Bilbo-like, squeeze through the door of August with only a few gold buttons coming off. I’m still disabled – watch me climb more than a dozen stairs if you don’t believe me – but at least I can work 8 hours without resorting to drugs.

My father made me cry with happiness yesterday. He emailed me that my zombie get up affected him so deeply that I’m going to be Miss October in the next family calendar. I’d like to thank my fellow brain eaters for their somewhat unintelligible encouragement. Grr! Brains!

Back to work full time
2006-08-21— Posted by: allegra

I’m back at work full time as of today. Frankly, I’m really happy about it, mostly for mental health reasons. And finances, let’s not forget that.

Hung out at Stef’s last night; there was plenty of music of the mostly latin variety (classical guitar, sax, flute, drums, bodhran!! and then mando and my Seagull 6 string). Paul even sang Long Black Veil!!!

The world’s most expensive house
2006-08-20— Posted by: allegra

The world’s most expensive house – in the UK. For a price not unadjacent to $140,000,000 US you can have……….. http://www.updowncourt.com/

Zombies need ice cream too
2006-08-20— Posted by: allegra

Okay, I broke character many times, because my leg crapped out about 45 minutes in (which I expected, and was prepared for). So I told people about zombie walk as I walked back to the Skytrain with Paul and Katie, and I ate ice cream, because it was a hot day, and I scared little children on the Skytrain.

PS, Officer 68 of the Skytrain Stasi needs to learn manners, because she harassed my daughter right in front of me and Paul and while Katie was feeling unwell.

Zombies with accordions and brainjos
2006-08-20— Posted by: allegra

The horror, the horror! Just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, Rowan whips out his accordion. That’s Brooke’s elbow and Brainjo, by the way. Zombies … on Robson … but there weren’t any zombie bagpipers, I’ll be really scared when I see me one of those.

Zombie Goths
2006-08-20— Posted by: allegra

Since I can already hear my legion of fans screaming “Show us some cute zombies, you dodohead!” herewith the requested cute zombies. Ain’t they somethin’?

Zombies on Robson
2006-08-20— Posted by: allegra

Katie and Paul both made variants on the remark, “Apart from the makeup, how can anybody tell the difference?” (between shoppers on Robson and the zombies). For further details, check out zombiewalk.com and get the full scoop of brains on a global phenomenon.

Zombies on Robson
2006-08-20— Posted by: allegra

Katie and Paul both made variants on the remark, “Apart from the makeup, how can anybody tell the difference?” (between shoppers on Robson and the zombies). For further details, check out zombiewalk.com and get the full scoop of brains on a global phenomenon.

Zombie Walk 2006 – we mass at the Art Gallery
2006-08-20— Posted by: allegra

This is me in front of the Art Gallery. Don’t I look lovely? I am wearing approximately 10 cents worth of fake blood, and about two dollars worth of skin gunk.

Ringfactory.net does work
2006-08-20— Posted by: allegra

I repent me of my whining; Ring Factory DOES work, it just doesn’t like the MP3’s that I can rip from Songwriter Finale. This is really, really annoying. Anyway, customer support at Ringfactory.net DID get back to me although not within their stated time frame, they DID fix my problem, and now I have to figure out how to make the two programs talk to each other, because I have proved it works with an MP3 file, it just doesn’t work the way I want it to. Considering that I’m working with a grand total of 80 Canuck bucks worth of software, maybe I should quite whining and get professional help. No, not that kind.

Zombie Walk 2006
2006-08-20— Posted by: allegra

I did end up going to the Zombie Walk; somehow hanging around with Paul for the morning (even though he was mostly asleep) made me feel better. I will post pix of my makeup (avocado mask with corn syrup and red food coloring blood) later on today, when it doesn’t involve waking Paul to do it. Ran into Rowan, Brooke, Bree, and a couple of other LJ folks. I had to go, zombies are part of my family heritage. (If you saw my dad’s horror collection, you’d understand).

Katie lost, then won back, her job at the restaurant, but now she has to work the late shift, so it means one of us has to go fetch her or she has to walk home (like she did on Thursday) which is not pleasant, either way. At least she has a flashlight, and she does have to go back to school shortly, which should drive some sense back into her schedule.

Michael Ruppert has left the US.
2006-08-19— Posted by: allegra

My favorite conspiracy theorist has fled the US to Venezuela. Check out copvcia.com for more details.

Raiders of the ripe fig
2006-08-19— Posted by: allegra

While we were eating dinner with Bonnie, a couple who speak Arabic raided our fig crop. Our across the alley neighbors, who speak Finnish, Arabic and English, overheard them discussing it with each other. The man said they shouldn’t and the woman said, There’s no one here (in Arabic). They came prepared, too; they had a car, a step ladder and bags. I laughed when I heard about it but I’m not laughing now. Brazen, eh?

I just learned from Scienterrific American that there is good evidence to support the figs are the oldest cultivated crop.

My head hurts very badly, and I have a nasty dry cough. Unless I feel MUCH better by noon, I will not be attending the zombie walk. Grrrr.

Paul just got back from day 4 of midnights so bye for now.

Oh, and my across the alley neighbor made THE BEST cinnamon rolls ever, and gave me enough for everybody in the family.

Not enough fuzzy animals & more customer service
2006-08-18— Posted by: allegra

It’s a baby tenrec. It looks like when it grows up it will have a starring role in a movie drawn from the Oeuvre of CS Lewis.

Ah, a true story from the Call Center (not mine!!!) but true, I have it from an unimpeachible source, whom I will not identify even though I could…..

Rep: Thanks for calling, how can I help you?

Customer: Brother, Do you have any Christian TV channels?

Rep: Sure sir, do you want Protestant or Catholic?

Customer: Please give them all to me… I just converted from Islam to Christianity.

Rep: That’s great Sir… Mazel tov!

Top that, Gandalf!
2006-08-18— Posted by: allegra

Etna steam ring. 200m across. Ha!

Have they no style?
2006-08-18— Posted by: allegra

I’m appending a picture of Croatian soccer fans. Their human swastika is inelegant and deformed.

I say this acknowledging that Canada has harbored one of the top Nazis of our time, Mr Z, Ernst Zundel, so lording it over Croatians because I’m Canadian would be rude and a nice poke in History’s eye. Let’s not talk about Croatian war criminals, we have lots of our own.

But seriously, these soccer fans are a torment to fascism. Where is the discipline? Why are they not entirely in matching colors, to complete the appearance of casually coordinated effort? This looks like the best they could do after at least six hours straight of alcohol consumption. At which point, now that I think of it, they’d be quite twisted indeed.

I overheard an amusing cell phone conversation this evening, after I dined with Bonnie, more on that later.

A young and handsome native man, wearing a traditional hat, got on at Stadium and sat down behind me; his cell phone rang almost immediately.

He said,
Yeah we were dancing most of the day.
Pause.
And they hauled some guys out of the washroom for hotboxing.
No, they just made them leave the park.
Pause.
On my cellphone I got pictures of me with that woman from Smoke Signals.
Pause.
He says, in a very pleased tone of voice,
I got the evidence.
Pause.
We finish tomorrow around the pole. Buncha Haidas around a Tlingit pole!

Maybe I’m the only person to find that amusing, I dunno.

Dinner with Bonnie, Steve, Alayna and Paul was simply lovely. Do I need to say anything else?

It’s bedtime, g’night.

Long Live Judge Diggs!!!!!!!
2006-08-17— Posted by: allegra

NSA wiretapping program ruled unconstitutional. Man, I bet Ann Coulter’s going to say that women shouldn’t be lawyers, because that means they can be judges, and then they can be supporters of terrorists! Wait a minute – Ann Coulter’s a lawyer! My head hurts.

But as for me, I’m happy. I’m happy that US judges actually occasionally really do uphold the Constitution, which is still one of my fave documents. Viva Diggs! Viva Diggs!

Henry wants gold teeth
2006-08-17— Posted by: allegra

This cat’s owner put bling teeth on him. Can you dig it? Photo credit dentist Dr. David Steele and scanged from sfgate.com.

Astrologers having problems with new science
2006-08-17— Posted by: allegra

I think they should name the new planet after the Parking Goddess. When she’s transiting through Mars, you WILL have car trouble.

Midnight musings
2006-08-17— Posted by: allegra

Don’t ever ever rent Samurai I with Toshiro Mifune. It’s not worth the time spent, not for costumes, acting, historical accuracy, set dec, direction or fight scenes. May the Emperor spare us a samurai movie with no hollicking fight scenes worth the powder to blow them out of the mono no aware.

I’m going to eat Indonesian food tomorrow night if the fates are kind and the winds propitious.

Phoned my ex-husband to harass him. I mean, what’s the point of having an ex-husband if you can’t phone him up and bug him, in this case to ask like a kid during a long car ride if he’s got internet access yet. Got his message machine, which is a good thing.

I suppose if I was an unwise creature (man at the end of the bar, cigarette ash an inch long, “Oh, why stop now?”) I could rant at great length at the Great Author of my life, who first mimics Dorothy Dunnett, then Dorothy Parker, and then Dr. Seuss. Because my life has reached ridiculous levels of frothy complexity, interspersed with absurdity, lousiness (okay, fleas), health problems, family issues that, for the purposes of this discussion, are the size, shape and tractability of a Borg vessel, and I still don’t have a freaking passport, and I still have not applied for my gun licences, and I’d best get off my ass and onto my horse, and the plum duff didn’t turn out all that well although if it goes into work with Paul it will vanish like dew in the morn, and I need to stake the tomatoes, and work is reminiscent in many ways of “ton histoire est une epopee des plus brillants exploits”, and Keith continues to be my main prop with respect to maintaining my sanity, although Dr. Filk is a close second. And you know there’s more, or I wouldn’t be writing songs with lyrics like (and you can all relax, this song is about work, and has nothing to do with my personal life at the moment, which point I was anxious to make clear to Paul, bull-leave me)

You better watch your ass
Nobody’s going to do it for you
You think you’ve got a free pass
Well I’ve got a bulletin for you
You can blame the whole world
and get away with it for a while
But the forces of nature will collect the back rent
and they’ve got great big teeth in their great big smiles
You’ve crossed that line so many times
you’re acting like it isn’t there
Never had to face any consequences
so now you believe that no one cares
You better watch your ass
Nobody’s going to do it for you
You think you’ve got a free pass
Well I’ve got a bulletin for you

Ringfactory.net
2006-08-16— Posted by: allegra

Repeated emails to tech support about not being able to load this product have been fruitless. I changed browsers, as that occasionally makes a difference, and it didn’t help. I am plenty mad, and This is My First Diss of Ring Factory.

They suck, Ring Factory, they plenty suck. They suck like billy-oh. They will feel the fullness of my squirrelly wrath.

The Maori queen is dead
2006-08-16— Posted by: allegra

Dame Te Atairangikaahu passed away at 75. RIP.

The following is taken from http://www.monumentalstories.gen.nz/bio_65.html

A direct descendant of the first Maori King, Patatau Te Wherowhero, and daughter of King Koroki V, Te Atairangikaahu was of the Waikato iwi. She was educated at Rakaumanga Native and Waikato Diocesan schools and groomed for leadership. In 1966 she became the first woman to be chosen to lead the Kingitanga movement, which sought to adopt a structure to give full equity between Maori and Pakeha (white folks, ed.). Her gentle and benevolent nature made her very accessible, and she moved easily among people at all levels, while her astute thinking and clear vision established her as an unparalleled unifying force for Maori. Her wisdom and influence were recognised by an Honorary Doctorate from Waikato University in 1973, and an Honorary Doctor of Laws from Victoria University in 1999.

Te Atairangikaahu hosted many royal and diplomatic visitors to New Zealand, including the Pacific Commonwealth Leaders’ meeting in 1990, and she represented her people at state events overseas. She supported both traditional and contemporary Maori arts, and urged her people to pursue quality and excellence in everything they did, from sports to tribal enterprise and national management. She encouraged women, in venturing into the modern world, to hold on to their great gifts in language, art, craft, dance, religion, and ceremony, while taking a constructive and influential part in their communities.

Happy thought
2006-08-16— Posted by: allegra

My coworker recently received a fax from an employee of a customer. The job title is “Defective/Damaged Representative”. Let us take a moment to thank the FSM that we don’t have that printed on OUR business cards.

Mindwalk
2006-08-16— Posted by: allegra

Keith and I watched Mindwalk last night. Man, did it get a right drubbing from the critics when it came out! Too talky, too static, too idealistic, and just plain ‘not a movie’.

Well, I beg to differ. I liked it, and I’m planning on watching it again and so’s Keith. If you like Sam Waterston and Liv Ullman just watch it, and be damned to the lousy critics.

Paul and I ate at Cafe de Paris last night. It was the perfect amount of food, perfectly cooked and presented, with the world going by on Denman just outside (the binners, the tourists, and me).

I’m looking forward to seeing my girlfriend Bonnie, whom I’ve known since grade school, on Thursday.

I invented a process at work and now I’m dog-robbing materials and social engineering permissions to make it happen; believe me, you’d be bored silly at the details but it’s something that SHOULD happen. It’s all exactly the kind of thing I like to do; I’m a fixer, I can’t help it. Actually, to be entirely honest, I’m re-implementing a process, with localization. Doesn’t that sound exciting? I love the way English can entirely obscure everything that is going on.

The plums are ready. This can only mean one thing, Peggy! Soon, the plum duff.

Paul’s here with the car…. I guess I should start the take off cycle.

More Music and troubleshooting
2006-08-15— Posted by: allegra

You would think that writing down all my songs would be a pretty cut and dried project; just time consuming. However, every time I turn around there’s something else that needs doing. The songs are in .MUS format, which is for proprietary musical notation software and no good unless I a) rip it to MP3 b) rip it to Midi or c) rip it to PDF, all of which are formats most other people can use. For my songs to be of maximum usefulness and full of meme goodness (nice pun, eh wot), which was after all the whole point, they have to be in all four formats. This involves a trivial matter called work, and by the time I’m done, I will have written probably another four or five songs, and had to write down 85 other songs, about 30 fragments, and then rip them all into all the formats, and that doesn’t even go to ring tone territory, because I intend to have ring tones of about 30 of my tunes before it’s all done. (F— You Jack as a ring tone? Oh baby!) Oh, by the way, don’t buy the software Ring Factory, it doesn’t work; it doesn’t even install. I have repeatedly emailed the company, but I guess nobody works on Gibraltar, which is apparently where the company is. London Thugs already swapped it out once for me.

My coworker Mohsin fed me lunch yesterday. To quote the immortal Jim A, once you take food from their hands, you are theirs forever.

La lutte continue at work. However, ours is a noble struggle, and I’m working on fixing things rather than whining about everything. Although I am good at that. Sometimes I think if there was an Olympic category for whining I’d look like one of these scary Bulgarian javelin throwers from the sixties.

You know, I scare me sometimes with my not being very smart (like, how do I drive? How do I find my way to work? How did I not leave my baby on the bus?) I am going to try installing Ring Factory again; I think I figured out my problem. Well one of them, anyway. It’s hard to see them all at once, and even if you could, that would be a trifle overwhelming.

Pic is a lion cub at the San Diego Zoo who died in a mauling accident. The original pic was scanged from leenks.com via fark. The first time I saw the pic I thought it had been photoshopped. I don’t think it actually has been, though.

Wakey wakey
2006-08-14— Posted by: allegra

Katie was asleep when I called her this morning, and already late for work. Was it for this I bore the pangs of motherhood, etc etc.

Keith worked last night. He had to reboot his scale (funny notion) and wrestle with cranky equipment and his own cranky neurons all night, but his shift was otherwise okay. He now knows how many more hours he has to work to make his probation, which is excellent. He declares that working at Metrotown is extremely difficult in the “not spending money” department. Ah, yes. I told him what it was like to work at First Canadian Place in Toronto in the early eighties. It’s amazing Paul ever got to see any of my paycheck, the way I was spending money in the late lamented “Legs Beautiful” store.

Fed Glen and Marilyn last night yummy salmon provided by us, and really yummy kebabs (and scalloped potatoes) which Marilyn brought and of course, beer and conversation, and Mike J dropped by after his flying day with Paul with a good bottle of wine in hand so it was a relaxed and convivial evening.

My back is much better.

Midi File
2006-08-13— Posted by: allegra

Click here to listen to Words Fail Midi file.

Fish, fish, music
2006-08-13— Posted by: allegra

Fish, as in salmon. Fish, as in tuna (tuner, bad joke). And music, as in a number of Creaking Planks tunes played by Filkola (for reasons best known to herself they were mostly, uh, double plus ungood for small children, content-wise; providentially, small children were not present). Imagine belonging to a band called the Creaking Planks; glockenspiel? Musical saw? Among other instruments….

Dr. Filk hauled along the resonator guitar; Paul actually played harmonica! Given the instrumental bias, it is no surprise that the blues predominated last night. The meal, as always, was stellar.

Keith is watching Russian Ark again. Happy sigh. He just finished watching Keaton’s Electric House, which definitely has some high moments of low brow physical humor.

Glen and Marilyn are coming to dinner; Katie is supposed to show up later this evening. Paul’s gone flying; apparently he’s heading to Pender with Mike J, and then they’re going to hike, and fly back. That field is not easy, I hope they make it okay.

An internet CLASSIC
2006-08-12— Posted by: allegra

http://koti.mbnet.fi/~soldier/towboat.htm.

A great combination of pix and text….

More Moose
2006-08-12— Posted by: allegra

This is from the Slat Rat Chronicles, radio.weblogs.com. This actually looks like a stuffed moose, but he’s real all right, and the photographer was smart enough to stay in her car. That moose is less than 3 meters away…

Rrrr. Periwinkles.
2006-08-12— Posted by: allegra

I got up this morning and put my back out. Not my lower back, but my upper back. Obviously I am not pleased by this turn of events, but I will endeavour to persevere. NO you can’t put your back out. I pinched a nerve, all right?

Paul and Keith and I went to the Richmond Night Market last night. The number of food stalls has doubled, but all the booths now are just, well, suboptimal…. no tools, no computer stuff, no flashlights, no useful gizmos, just the usual assortment of fake Disney and candleholders and cheapass toys, accompanied by a horrific Cantopop soundtrack.

The usual racial mix was there; two thirds East Asian and one third everybody else in Vancouver; it’s definitely the premiere dating site for interracial couples in this town, there were dozens and dozens of interracial couples there last night. Aryan Nations types were not in evidence, and it’s just as well, they’d be very unhappy.

One last culinary note. Paul and I decided, what the hell, we’ll try something we’ve never eaten before, so we ordered periwinkle meat. It tasted like one third grit, one third hot curry (with much black pepper), and one third low tide; combine it with a rigorously rubbery mouth feel and you have got what can only, if you’re maintaining politesse, be described as ‘an acquired taste’. To get the taste of that out of our mouths we went and got a blueberry whipped cream crepe; but it was two hours before my stomach stopped whining at me. “What the hell WAS that? I feel funny. Are you sure that was edible? Why’d you have to eat a half dozen of them, are you nuts?” I mean, it was food like. I know that I could sustain my worthless existence on periwinkle meat; but I also know that God loves me, because currently I don’t have to.

Listen to the Volcano
2006-08-11— Posted by: allegra

http://grid.ct.infn.it/etnasound/page4/page8/page8.html

Hair cut
2006-08-11— Posted by: allegra

I got a haircut at Eclipps yesterday and so far the comments have been favourable. I broke down and got a bob. I knew I had the right stylist when she said, “A bob? I love bobs, they’re the hardest cut to do properly.” Of course, because the last cut was layered I will have to go have it reshaped in six weeks, but I already made the appointment.

I’m still losing weight without trying, so I figure I’m sickening with something. Paul thinks I’m either working on an ulcer (I have a lot of the same symptoms he did when he got sick) or the back injury is putting me off my feed. Every time I went to a doctor for the best part of five years there was never anyt’ing wrong wit’ me, and all I was doing was clogging the healthcare system with my hypochondriacal ravings. Now I think I’ll wait until I need to go to hospital, it seems to save time and aggro; “Excuse me, but I’m IN A LOT OF PAIN. Please help me.”

Rejoice Trek Fans
2006-08-10— Posted by: allegra

http://echosphere.net/star_trek_insp/star_trek_insp3.html.

Go here. Screech, hiccup with laughter. Repost your favourite. And as they say, Rinse, Repeat. Scanged from Fark….

Google video
2006-08-10— Posted by: allegra

Monkey with a Death Wish. That really about sums it up.

Here’s the pic
2006-08-10— Posted by: allegra

Musical Comedy
2006-08-10— Posted by: allegra

I remember walking through downtown on Saturday night and listening to somebody sing “The Party’s Over”. I recognized the song right away; the fun was watching Katie recognize it and start singing along to it.

“The Party’s Over” is a song that was specifically written – as was the rest of the show – by Adolph Green and Betty Comden for Judy Holliday. Bells are Ringing has a very special place in our family mythology; Katie, my mom and I are three generations of fans. I mean, I even like Dean Martin in that movie! I really wish I could have seen the original on Broadway.

What got me thinking about musical comedy was hearing that Alan and Janice have tickets to see “L’il Abner” live in San Francisco. It’s been bally ages since I saw live musical comedy. I mean, there are times when I feel like I’m living in one, but that’s not quite the same thing.

Had another dream about the Really Big Futuristic City last night. I always end up taking a helicopter ride THROUGH these extremely tall, covered in advertising buildings, which makes the safety officer in me stop up like an Englishman in hot weather. (Dunnett reference, sorry). I’m always late for a meeting in this dream. As usual, it’s broad daylight, so it doesn’t look anything like the city in Blade Runner. When I ended up on the ground, I was in a raspberry patch with a group of women who looked like Dunnetteers, and we ate our way through the raspberry patch as fast as we could. Then we found our way to a two story gazebo. I mean, really, a two story gazebo. I know I’ve always wanted one, but the Taj Majal of gazebos? What can it all mean?

Pic is of Judy Holliday, of course.

???? timing
2006-08-09— Posted by: allegra

What can I say about my baby boy’s timing? He decided to rent Robin Williams on Broadway the same day Robin went into rehab. I light a candle for this gifted, gifted man, and hope he gets back to sobriety fast.

A brief conversation with Katie this afternoon leads me to believe that her boyfriend Wade has let an African pygmy hedgehog into his life. Happy sigh. I love them critters.

Another song
2006-08-09— Posted by: allegra

I finished “Chance Met” which is pleasant, since I only wrote it a couple of months ago. Next up, “Bela Lugosi is the King Around Here” in which Protein Man shows up in the deathless line “so I said, ‘Alan, I think you’ve been working too hard!'”

Funny how after 15 years, that’s still true! And how strange it is that I’ve been grinding away at all the many, many drinking songs I’ve written.

Speaking of wretched excess, please do visit moderndrunkard.com and check the 40 things you must do while drunk list. The Star Trek drinking article is pretty freaking funny too, but Keith and I laughed until we cried over the 40 things article, and Keith doesn’t even drink!

CDC stats
2006-08-08— Posted by: allegra

According to the Center for Disease Control, the current kill rate of H5N1 avian influenza is 58%, but in Indonesia it’s running more like 78%. Since we really don’t know how many people got infected and were never reported, this merely represents how many died of the reported total. Any way you look at it, though, this ailment is a righteous bugger once you catch it.

It’s sounding a bit like, “And I, Agnolo di Tura, called the Fat, buried my five children with my own hands.”

On the plus side, the Vietnamese have had zero reports and zero fatalities this year, mostly because they figured out low tech ways of combatting it and encouraging reporting. Other places haven’t figured out the social engineering side of compliance yet.

Neglected to mention
2006-08-08— Posted by: allegra

Picture my astonishment when my father solemnly and casually announced over the weekend that he is now a deist. (This is right up there with the Pope sending out bris announcements for his firstborn….) And who has pOp’s vote? Loki! So I sent him a link to Thalia Took’s site (which is eyepoppingly gorgeous) and this picture. Artwork credit Thalia Took, may she live forever. I especially recommend her pics of Arianrhod, Bride, Laverna, Hekate, Erzulie and Tzazolteotl. I suspect I’m going to be spending money at www.thaliatook.com pretty soon….

The Third Man
2006-08-08— Posted by: allegra

Keith worked twenty hours this weekend, and his reward was to collapse last night with me and Paul and some popcorn in front of Carol Reed’s classic “The Third Man”.

Keith, who is turning into a third generation film weenie (happy, happy sigh) really enjoyed it, and since I hadn’t seen it since I was about 14 when I watched it on the tube with my dad, it was pretty much like seeing it for the first time (and it was much the same for Paul). And of course he liked the zither music. So Keith can take another movie off his lifetime list.

The back deck is pretty much done, and will now be fit for many more summers of use.

The clean up of the plant room continues apace, although Paul is grumbling that there are other things I should be tidying first.

Quick visit
2006-08-07— Posted by: allegra

Pic is of a solar flare in July 2002.

Paul and Katie and I visited Victoria and hung with hordes of our favourite relatives including Auntie Mary, Unca Dave and Granny, and then went to Jeff’s place, where we watched Blues Brothers (it is aMAZing how well that movie has aged – watching the first two minutes put my jaw in my lap) and large chunks of the Last Waltz. As always, every time I see Robbie Robertson in that movie I become a gibbering idiot – but it would take somebody who knows me well to be able to tell the difference from most days. And we played the “What the hell drug WAS Neil Young on for that concert, anyway?” Game.

Keith was working – again – so he missed the festivities.

Today we have to, you know, do domestic chores; how jolly.

Family gathering and fish guts
2006-08-06— Posted by: allegra

I finally have a picture, mental and photographic, of baby Jasmine, who is all and more than reported. Apart from being the standard cute-and-meeting-the-developmental-milestones, she has a distinct personality of radiant calm which is very unlike any other baby I’ve ever met. mOm said she was self-possessed; I would put it that she is the closest in real life that I’ve seen to a baby Buddha. Curt and Darci are over the moon with her, as any sane parents would be with a baby who slept through the night at (I won’t post it, but EARLY).

How wonderful it was to get together with them; they live in Saskatchewan and we don’t see them often, and how I thank the wonderful Lexi & Rob for underwriting it.

We had a nice long talk, mostly for Katie’s benefit (Keith was working) about education (like getting university in early, even if you go on to get a trade) and life management stuff. Rob hadn’t heard my version of the “my father went back to school 4 times” story and was seemingly quite entertained. At one point he said that his family religion was education, and that seems like a better than excellent thing to me.

In the education vein, Curt updated my dad’s story from engineering school; when pOp went, it was “Look at the guy next to you. One of you won’t make it through this year.” When Curt went, it was “Look on either side of you. Two of the three of you won’t make it!”. Rob asked me why I didn’t go on from university to professional school, and I guess the answer is that I’m not personally ambitious (which is a mealy mouthed way of saying I saw what my parents went through and am way too lazy to hack those shucks).

Seeing everybody made me really happy, and I finally dropped of the music and lyrics for “An Evening of Serious Drinking” and “Housewife’s Lament”. I am really happy I have my song project going. It has literally been the only thing keeping me sane some days in the last couple of months.

The fireworks last night (Mexico) were wonderful (good use of the colours of the Mexican flag), and it was great standing on top of one of the tallest buildings in the West End to watch them (although the drunk, fey and twittish twentisumthins who cackled and giggled and jiggled through the entire thing had no notion of how tempted we were to heave them over the side to an abrupt and splatulent death). Jasmine at one point tried to reach out and touch the fireworks, soooooo cute.

On a “This is My Life” note, I got a phone call yesterday morning from the wonderful Peggy, who said, and this is not an exact quote, but close, “Allegra! Come and gut fish!” As it turned out, it was the equally wonderful Tom who dealt with the heads and orts, after which I washed ten fresh sockeye (fingernails are still faintly yielding up that irrepressible smell) in their industrial double sink. God, I love that sink. I mean, I love virtually everything about their house, but the sink is a paean in stainless steel to utility – and hospitality – on a very large scale. In fact, I think I want to take a picture of their sink and post it, just so you can enjoy it too. Anyway, we now have ten sockeye in their freezer, so many happy evenings of salmon lie in our future.

Dang! You know what I just realized? I left both my good knives over there, I had better go collect them!

Oh, and their plums! Their yellow plums are the best I’ve ever eaten. August is a time of such abundance.

Wish the starlings weren’t so abundant, they ate most of the fresh figs, the little bastards. I blame Peggy. The starlings never bothered with them before, but as soon as she said, “Shouldn’t you put up netting or something?” about ten days ago the starling god heard and sent his minions (Peggy you know I’m kidding, but now I’m worried about MY plums so I’m taking your warning seriously.)

Pride Day today. The weather is utterly glorious and I’m sure it will be another record day of attendance and peaceful witness to the beauty of all humankind.

Believe it or not, I walked from Granville Station to Denman and Davie, roughly, yesterday evening & that was quite enough walking for me for this weekend. Between that and the laundry and mopping and vacuuming and furniture assembly yesterday I’m pretty much toast today. But I can’t complain; between the baby visit, the fresh fruit, the fellowship and the salmon, I’d be a fool to. Oh, and Lexi drove us home…. thank you thank you thank you!

Pic is of an industrial fish gutting station.

Resumes
2006-08-04— Posted by: allegra

I always find it much easier to work on other people’s, as this afternoon for example.

The weather continues fine and cloudless, and Dan H and Paul are ripping off soffit and examining it for general unsuitability and mange.

Keith continues to collect Sandman digests, which makes me happy.

I learn that Daxus has completed a forklift course, which makes me very happy.

I learn in a completely separate knowledge gathering foray that Wade seems to think I have some control over or knowledge regarding Katie’s whereabouts. This in itself is enough to prompt illness-inducing gales of hysterical laughter. Perhaps I should change the subject.

The song I am currently working on is called “The Evening News” and it’s about how living in Canada shelters one a great deal from the starvation, misanthropy, disease and religious mania that seems to afflict much of this planet. Mind you I don’t go into the really corpsy stuff too much, just mention that we, most of us, seem to have enough of the food and shelter type things, so that we can spend our spare time worrying about watching TV advertising and other suchlike occupations.

I have abruptly decided that I loathe my job. As usual, I will have to sit down, or perhaps lie down with an ice pack, until the feeling passes, but it’s a horrible situation to be in. I mean, I feel sorry for anybody who would ever have to interview me, don’t you? I know I do. That feeling will keep me humble, and away from the want ads, in the weeks and months ahead. So even though this post started with a happy comment about working on other people’s resumes, which I did to some effect today, it ends with me, the resume goddess, contemplating my own, as a child contemplates a soggy assortment of semi-chewed cereal pieces, a lover an abbreviated answering machine message, and an ambulance attendant the latest drenching application of alcohol to the extremes of human stupidity.

Keith has rented Yojimbo, but it’s a really skittering VHS copy.

Off to work
2006-08-03— Posted by: allegra

And glad it is I am that I’m well enough to go. I slept a lot yesterday.

I light a candle for the people on the receiving end of munitions, wherever they are and whatever deity they pray to, if any.

Keith has forced me to watch something called Lemon Demon’s Ultimate Showdown & Ultimate Destiny. Despite its unappetizing name, it is one of the funniest things I’ve heard in ages and I think I will listen to it again before I go to work to cheer myself up. If you have a choice, listen to it without the animation, because in my opinion neither the flash animation nor the anime mashup that accompany it are worth much. It’s very filkish and Dr. Demento-ish, if you know what I mean. And any song that rhymes heavenly chorus with Chuck Norris can’t be all bad. Gotta move along now.

Migraine
2006-08-02— Posted by: allegra

Didn’t get up until 2:30; feel like animatronic scrap. Paul won his court case – the cop not only didn’t show up for the traffic court case, he didn’t even phone in. What is he, a teenaged girl? Cop not exactly as shown.

But wonderful doesn’t last.
2006-08-01— Posted by: allegra

Alas, I overdid it last night. I must immediately get off the computer and do something that involves standing for at least two hours. As we are now stacked to the undersides of the cabinets with dirty dishes, I hope, now that the rude amounts of prescription pills I had to stop the pain are finally working, to have the strength to do them. If I’m spared Lord, if I’m spared.

Wonderful video
2006-08-01— Posted by: allegra

I am hoping you enjoy this as much as I did. <*Wushu Drunken Master style.

No comment
2006-08-01— Posted by: allegra

Lemonade
2006-08-01— Posted by: allegra

When Katie bailed on hanging out with us last night, I picked up the phone and called Peggy, who was only too happy to get out of the house and work out at the “Puddle” as we affectionately refer to our local swimming hole.

I get there, and just about spit out a tooth when I realize that the goddamned swirlpool is closed for repairs.

That means I have to swim instead of loaf, so I do – 20 lengths. I actually feel okay this am.

Me brudder is 45
2006-07-31— Posted by: allegra

And I’m not getting any younger myself.

Happy Birfday Ben
2006-07-30— Posted by: allegra

Tom and Peggy’s eldest scion has turned, or will shortly turn, an, uh, interesting and, uh, prime number roughly today or thenabouts. How’s that for useless clues. Anyway, many happy returns of the day, whenever it is/was, young fella!

As for the gent what took a gun into the Jewish Community Center in Seattle and laid a woman in her grave, and put four others in hospital, a word of advice. Hate a Jew because he’s a mamzer, not because he’s a Jew! And if you can manage it, don’t bother hating him at all, lest thou be cast into the outer darkness of those forever condemned to pay retail. Allegra has spoken.

Hi Reck. I’m sure if you are reading this you’re shaking your head and smiling a sour little smile.

Keith and I are just about finished watching the Walking with Dinosaurs series from the BBC. The over the top narration by Kenneth Branagh has gone from being an irritant to being a sort of drinking game, where I try to predict (with about 70% accuracy) which adjective the scriptwriters are going to squeeze into the tired tired sentence. The animation goes from being flicking amazing to being SO FROMIDABLE (that’s so cheesy you resort to French puns) that you don’t know whether to laugh or cry. All told, I’ve actually learned something about dinosaurs, and I’ve learned that Kenneth Branagh pronounces those jaw cracking dinosaur names with the relish of an oenophile at a wine tasting.

Missed the Lantern Festival last night – could not deal with the notion of walking that much. Paul and John went on the bike. There was masses of food at Stef’s place but Paul was the only person who showed up with wine, which was pleasant. Paul says it was more sparsely attended than last year (to which I can only say thank God, as it was WALLTOWALL last year) but the fireworks were wonderful and the ambience also.

Thunder and lightning last night! Very unusual for this part of the year; normally the only time you get thunder and lightning in Vancouver is (strangely enough) in February and March, towards the end of the wet season.

I note that the record high temperatures in the US continue to plague the frail elderly and those without access to air conditioning. I further predict that when the epidemiologists run the death rate stats for this past month they will find out that the number of people who died as a result of the heat will be at least 50% in excess of what appears in the papers currently. This is what happened in Chicago in 1980 when (get this) 1700 people died of heat related causes. That’s a hell of a lot of people. (See Heat Wave, a Social Autopsy of a Disaster in Chicago for further details – a book I believe I have previously referenced in my blog (and no, I haven’t read it but I read a detailed interview with the author.)) Chicago has a heat wave public health plan in place right now, and it would behoove other major American cities to do the same. One hundred and one in Minneapolis – whoda thunkit? Pic scanged from Google Images “Heat Wave”.

Yet another sendoff….
2006-07-29— Posted by: allegra

Venu left the company which cannot be named for a world class organization with lots of scope…. and we toasted him last night at the Golf Course. I snuck inside and paid for one of his beers. It was good to see the usual assortment of folk, and some folks from the engineering department. It was quite a cross functional showing – not as well attended as Lynne’s but still a damned good showing for almost ten years of employment.

The indifferent service (Tammy, our usual server, wasn’t there last night) was ameliorated by the appearance of an extremely skilled belly dancer, who had the hottest costume evah (black veils and gold tinkly coins) and danced like a personification of Ishtar for 25 minutes without breaking a sweat.

Then Paul and I headed over to Mike and Tori’s – Paul got really tired and fell asleep, but I watched most of Kung Fu Hustle, and am looking forward to seeing the rest, as it is one of the most hilarious cultural mashups I have ever seen. I think the Landlady deserved a medal for her role. Then I IMDB’d her (her name is Qiu Yuen) and when I got her backstory I just about flipped. At the time she accepted the role (after Stephen Chow (writer/star/director) bugged her unrelentingly about taking it) she had been out of show biz for almost 30 years, and had only ever starred in one international production “The Man with the Golden Gun”. Roger Moore as Bond, Blech-0-matic. She went to the audition to keep a younger friend company and the rest, as they say, is history. It is difficult to imagine someone else in the role, frankly. Anyway, she started life as a stunt double and martial arts type, learning from Jackie Chan’s master, and when she could find any interesting roles got married and ditched the whole show biz scene. Like Renee Zellweger and Robert DeNiro before her, she went on a special diet to gain 40 pounds for the role. Man, the things people do for money; I’ve put on 40 pounds and nobody’s asking me to star in anything, although I was once asked to be a stand in for GM Place.

Walkies
2006-07-28— Posted by: allegra

Paul and I went for a walk last night. As we were just rounding the corner onto Wedgewood, part of our usual walking loop when we aren’t going into Robert Burnaby Park down to Dinosaur Rock, I thought, Man! that guy sure walks like Tom U. And son of a gun, it WAS Tom. Then I noticed Mike, and they were walking Spud and Tasha together. Happy sigh. Paul was very happy too and immediately started picking Tom’s brains about his Bion-X electric bike, and we walked all the way to Mike’s place. I was walking like a hunchbacked ballerina by the time I got there, but I made it.

And then….

What should be in the fridge but my current third favorite kind of beer in the WHOLE WORLD, Mcauslan Apricot, (Ste Ambroise Blonde and Stella Artois still being my faves), and who should be there but Toribird, looking fine and foxy, if I do say so, in a black tailored shirt and a long camel skirt, and what should she be a-cooking but FRESH blackberry crumble (exactly enough for five people)? It was so amazing that I refused to let either beer or inferior snack foods pass my lips after I ate it, ‘twould have been sacrilegious.

Then Tori and I slipped away into the computer room while the menfolks clacked away in the kitchen and we spent a happy hour reviewing the pictures she took of her mom and step-dad’s Inuit and Newfoundland art collection; more than a couple of the pieces were very old and museum quality, and a lot of them were really interesting. There were two bone pieces in particular that I fell madly in love with, the use of material being so very fine and the execution being so subtle. There were a couple of lithographs (big ones, although you know they don’t look as good on a screen) by Newfoundland artists, that I liked too. All in all a satisfactory evening.

I had been expecting that Paul would walk out to Edmonds with me and we’d catch a 106 bus, but he decided to call a cab instead, to which all I can say is thank God.

A broken night’s sleep (I got COLD in the night, what an ingrate after this hot spell) and nevertheless, this morning I feel just fine.

Dreamed that Kira and another cat got into a bath full of warm water, but by the time Janice and I could take a picture, they’d gotten out and were drying themselves off. Cats; magisterial even in my dreams. The rest of the dream starred nobody I know, but I was busy chasing a tall female clown named Giraffe through the subway system of an unnamed city for reasons completely unknown. Damn! How do I put up with all this excitement???

Oh….. my ……. God…….
2006-07-27— Posted by: allegra

Okay, when you look at this picture, I want you to be doing a mental mashup of two songs…. Frank Zappa singing Give Me Your Dirty Love and The Man on The Flying Trapeze. These two slugs are having sex while hanging from a thread of slime; I am assuming that this was as the result of long negotiations along the lines of I’m so tired of sleeping in the wet spot.

And one of the slugs said, hey, wait a minute! I have an idea!!! why don’t we crawl up the side of somebody’s house and do it til our eyestalks hurt!!!!

Credit Jan G in Courtenay. Honestly, Jan, you should take up wildlife photography professionally, seeing as how we keep finding the weirdest shiat in your yard.

It only remains to be added that the slug is the totem creature of my, uh, well, one of my family members; my morning, nay, perhaps my week, are made rapturously glorious by this photo.

I had no idea
2006-07-26— Posted by: allegra

Large chunks of Queens NY were out of power for a week. I knew things suck in Kulifornya as well, but this picture is kinda eerie. The cops set up a light tower for public safety. Photo credit Chang W Lee NYT

Bush Pilot
2006-07-26— Posted by: allegra

Bush Pilot

Janice forwarded this. Since it has subtitles, you don’t even need a sound card to enjoy this little bit of Teutonic teasing.

Life is a series of small disappointments
2006-07-25— Posted by: allegra

Windows Movie Maker doesn’t like the format of the family movie discs pOp sent me.

Katie called at midnight for a ride into town from Maple Ridge, having missed the last bus. $45 worth of physio went up the flue; I drove, not wanting to waken Paul or Keith, who were sleeping peacefully in the tent. I’m very stiff and sore this morning.

Work contains the prospect of a ‘group shot’ for the company newsletter today, which means I have to dress for it. Considering that it’s legal for women to go topless in Canada, they may not like what they get.

I forgot to take cash out of the bank, which means I have to get to a bank machine between now and the time work starts, and then find some kind soul to grab the shelf I ordered and put it in my workspace until Paul can pick it up with the car tomorrow morning.

I really really really wanted to go to Jericho Beach Folk club this week as I have lots of new songs to debut but I suspect it would be a really bad idea -more sitting is NOT what I need right now.

On the plus side, my friend Bonnie called and set up a dinner date for when she and her spouse and her spouse’s kid are in Vancouver in August.

And I talked to Tori. Happy Birthday Mike!!!!

I also got a care package from Janice in the form of a bunch of books, one of which bears the proud title “Revenge of the Cootie Girls” and somebody, I do not know who, in Seattle has seen fit to provide me with the first DVD series of Black Books, which is completely unlike any other TV I’ve ever seen, in that it veers from Kafka-esque “The world has gone mad” bleakness to evil satire to unbelievably funny sight gags (the cup sticking to the table comes to mind) and it all starts with a man choking on the Little Book of Calm. Any series that has as the name of its accountant Nick Voleur can’t be all bad.

I can’t fecking sit any more so I’d better do my exercises and see if I can’t manage 4 hours of work today. Oh, look, lovely, a migraine sign. (Little flashies, probably triggered by way less than adequate sleep.) Bye.

Virago 535
2006-07-24— Posted by: allegra

Dave D has a new/used 96 scoot. Obliviously this pic looks way better in its original size, but even so, here’s the skinny:

Here is a photo of my new cruiser down at Jericho beach on Saturday night. For you photo enthusiasts the shot was taken with my Nikon D200 at 200ISO, f5.6 at 8 sec. and 2 slave flashes in addition to the main flash on the body.

Monday, Monday
2006-07-24— Posted by: allegra

I was all rested up on Sunday… my back was fine, etc. Then I had a horrible nightmare this morning (a torture dream, and the lighting was really bad, so you know it felt real). I’m not going to describe it but sleep afterwards was a theoretical construct so I got up after Kira came and gave me a consoling kiss and gave her some crunchies. Now the dawn sky is pink and gray. I should take pics of the tobacco flowers, they are so pretty.

Also, mOm, the set on tomatoes that were white two days ago are now pale green. The universe is therefore unfolding as it ought. There are about ten spaghetti squashes set on and more tomatoes than I can count.

The plum tree has set on with a vigour that I attribute to faithful waterings and Paul having laid down compost. The fig closest to the driveway is so laden that it’s really remarkable – it too responded to a watering. I really should trellis the grapes; I promise I will next year. I’m going to try to grow plums from the pits this year. I explained container growing of potatoes to Keith and I may have sparked some interest, only time will tell.

Pic, which I hope I didn’t post earlier, is from the Lake Crescent trip. The gates to the local grass area in Port Washington were done up like bamboo, very nice. Anyway, a pic of me behind bars is a good thing. Very Monday like.

It’s 86 degrees already
2006-07-23— Posted by: allegra

I don’t think the house ever really cooled off yesterday; Paul slept in the tent and I don’t really blame him; it was frying hot.

After all these months of trying to train Kira to kiss me to get her breakfast, I was startled as hell to have Zeek! wander up to me this morning, and instead of patting and scraping me gently with his claws extended, as he generally and in a very unwelcome fashion does (this is why he is normally banned from the bedding), he got up in my face and kissed me very gently on the nose. I said, GOOD BOY and leaped out of bed (okay, moved expeditiously out of bed) and fed them. I wish words could describe how startled I was. The only other thing I’m thinking of applying training techniques to is the way Kira cycles around Zeek! at about 90 miles an hour, crying softly, while Zeek! stands there and hairy eyeballs me (occasionally venting a raspy and MOST displeased caterwaul) while the two are waiting for dinner. I hope someday to be able to capture it on film and then train them to do it when I want, which is dopey to put on the wish list, but it’s so very cute to see.

Enough about cats.

I made iced coffee for breakfast. The idea of drinking something hot right now has very little appeal.

I recently had reason to try liquid bandages (location, basically); they sting like fury going on but they actually work. They come in a can and cost about $14 for 40 applications.

Frank Magazine is being published in tangible form again. They occasionally achieve their previous depths of bilious mojo, but they are still pretty inconsistent. What I do to support Canadian satire….

Dr. Filk, Filkola, Peggy and Tom are off at a housefilk in Snohomish; apparently the Tapioca Song will be exposed to that select group at that time.

Met Wade, the new beau, and like him.

Sundry & various
2006-07-22— Posted by: allegra

Jack Warden is dead. He was the fast talking salesman in Twelve Angry Men, which Keith and I recently watched. He was 85.

It’s 86 degrees F at the thermometer in the upstairs. It got to 90 inside yesterday. The house is markedly hotter since we got rid of the trees in the south facing yard. Sigh.

It came as a surprise to Paul that Janice tucked three summer dresses into a bag that came back from Seattle this last time; I am wearing the Delft blue and white one, as it’s the thinnest piece of cotton clothing that I have in the house right now. I did my morning exercises in complete slow motion, but I am still wringing wet. Keith is wandering around saying things like “Would I look good in a sarong?” to which my answer was an unequivocal yes.

We get to meet Katie’s new boyfriend today.

Said goodbye to Lynne yesterday – she is departing to go to a company that markets wine and coolers. We all volunteered to assist, of course. I think even the departee was blown away by how many people showed up. I wasn’t. She is much liked, with that irresistable mix of smartass competence and mushy sentimentality that seems to characterize so many of my beloved cowirkers. Including me, if I may be so bold as to claim competence. Anyway, I did a tequila shooter with her and Brian at the golf course, just to keep myself in good fighting trim.

Couldn’t leave it there, of course. It is now officially gin and tonic weather so we stopped off at ze store, loaded up, and then drank G&Ts on the back deck while a breeze (thank God) picked up. Considering that I drank more yesterday than I have since, uh, probably Christmas of last year, I am amazed how cheerful and lively I feel this morning, given the weather.

Pic scanged from

http://www.blogjam.com/2006/07/20/pepto-bismol-ice-cream

Baby Black Rhino
2006-07-22— Posted by: allegra

Cute, hunh? Born to mom Circe at a zoo in Florida

I am going to be asking for a public enquiry
2006-07-21— Posted by: allegra

…. into the response of the Canadian diplomatic folks on the ground in Lebanon to the evacuation crisis. I guess I already know the answer “This is what 40 years, more or less, of candy ass Liberal appointees, rather than fully qualified people does.”

Fresh blackberries
2006-07-20— Posted by: allegra

There are native wild blackberries along the trail in to work and I ate some this morning. Yum.

The Bible tells me so
2006-07-20— Posted by: allegra

http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff/0,2106,3736210a11,00.html

I imagine eventually the link will disappear, so I provide the condensed version. Jesus wants you to hit your child….

Pyoo
2006-07-20— Posted by: allegra

http://ottsun.canoe.ca/News/National/2006/07/20/1693346-sun.html

Swearing to Success
2006-07-20— Posted by: allegra

Check out Mark Fiore’s Flash today…. http://www.markfiore.com/animation/swear01.html

Sent off the music and lyrics to Housewife’s Lament to my ma yesterday, and I have printed out copies ones for the El-Villa crowd as well (Tom and Peggy and Filkola). Right. That’s 21, only uh, 88 to go. So far. Worked up a couple of other tunes last night but I thought they were too twee, so I went to bed. If they’re still in my head the next time I play the mandolin (I’ve been playing everyday, and it shows, fortunately) I’ll keep em, otherwise they go back to the Big Song Factory in the Sky. Sure wish I could remember the tune to “A Passage to Atlantis”. All I have is the lyrics I gave to Paul to write down and I haven’t the foggiest what the tune is, except that I remember it was pretty good. Pic is something I picked up after image googling “little furry animals”.

Visiting
2006-07-19— Posted by: allegra

Paul and Keith are off to Seattle, and Katie’s only coming home to change her clothes. And run off with the hair straightener, the little weiner. Now that she has a job the dishes are starting to pile up; she’s actually working all this week, full time, to cover for a person on vacation, and they are making noises about taking her on full time for the rest of the summer, so she’s learning how to prep and cook as well. She figures no matter what happens she’ll be able to get a job, after her experience with this restaurant. I’m talking to her every day, but let’s just say that her current existence is configured in such a fashion that the family home doesn’t have much appeal.

Look what happens when you try to tell the truth
2006-07-18— Posted by: allegra

http://www.fromthewilderness.com/free/ww3/070506_offices_burglarized.shtml

You can put in a tsunami warning system
2006-07-18— Posted by: allegra

But if your government is inefficient and corrupt, you’ll still be hooped. I light a candle for the victims of the stupidity in Jakarta, subsequent to the earthquake. The smart ones headed for the hills, and now they have no food and no blankets and have been told they can’t go back because of aftershocks.

There are interesting comments on the cbc.ca website about what it’s like being a Canadian citizen in Lebanon right now, I recommend the reading.

Off to work soon, and feeling much better after traction at the physio yesterday.

Tain’t all doom n gloom
2006-07-17— Posted by: allegra

http://www.ncpamd.com/On_Beyond_Ritalin.htm

To protect the, uh, well, let’s not go there. But anyway, somebody sent me the link and I heartily recommend it to anybody reading this who might, uh, be in training to be a pharmacist.

blood in Lebanon
2006-07-17— Posted by: allegra

It is with horror and sorrow that I must report that my colleague’s sister-in-law is clinging to life in a hospital in Lebanon. The Israeli bombs landed in the middle of a village; she’s badly burned and she lost both a leg and her mother-in-law in that attack.

I offer prayers to whatever deity will hear me that this ‘measured response’ doesn’t turn into a full scale global conflagration. And I pray for her swift recovery.

Family stories
2006-07-17— Posted by: allegra

With my red red hair

and my permanent wave

ignoring the elders

as they rant and rave

it was such as me

Jesus came to save

Mary, bootlegging Mary.

*

Now Katrina is the only one who’ll talk to me

And next to Jesus, she’s the only one

Who’s heard the sad tale of my history

Why I’ve done the things I’ve done

I sold myself to feed my little son

In the years between the wars

And I comfort myself on the nights I can’t sleep

that Jesus walked with publicans and whores

*

With my red red hair

and my permanent wave

ignoring the elders

as they rant and rave

it was such as me

Jesus came to save

Mary, bootlegging Mary.

*

Family reunion
2006-07-15— Posted by: allegra

I behaved reasonably well, except when my mother announced that there is positively no drinking and no smoking on the Columbia Bible College grounds. I said, Aw. And a horde of Mennonites made me sing “The Housewife’s Lament.” It was the biggest crowd I’d played for in many a year, and Lexi came up to provide moral support. Then Barry and Lexi and I sang up a storm in the car coming home, including many songs of a vastly irreligious nature.

Delicious Irony – Boom Shiva in Toronto
2006-07-14— Posted by: allegra

http://eye.net/eye/issue/issue_07.13.06/food/food.php

This restaurant review, from eye magazine in Toronto, refers to my darling friend L.E.’s youngest son’s new restaurant. This is quite possibly one of the funniest positive reviews ever, and here’s Corey’s comment, “Reader discretion warning! This review is not for all ages. It contains coarse language, adult situations, and mature content. Also Jewish-liberal-media lies.” Oh, and the kitchen’s open 6 – 12, brunch on the weekend. Hey, Dave!!!! Take Jo here!!!!

Family reunion starts today
2006-07-14— Posted by: allegra

I can’t find my registration package, so I don’t know where I’m going. Sure hope my mother calls me.

Kelvingrove Museum July 2006
2006-07-13— Posted by: allegra

various
2006-07-13— Posted by: allegra

It rained pretty solidly yesterday so the lawns have all greened up. One of the tobacco plants has set on flowers, and the volunteer tomatoes and squash in the fenced yard are flowering.

I had the best physio evah yesterday, Kevin put me in traction in the granniest looking bondage gear I have ever seen. I come a dancing out of the machine, and he just gives he that look that physios seem to have perfected, (sort of “I Pity The Fool”) and says, well, enjoy it, it won’t last. And it didn’t, but my range of motion is wider and it did endorphin rush wonders for my mood.

Jessica D slept here last night, Katie is up but incapable of reasoned speech, Keith is still asleep, and I have to throw on my clothes and straighten my hair and fly; ah, work! How happy I am to return to your confines!!!

Paul is back at about 4 pm today; I’ll be getting him from the station so I don’t have to drive too much. Sigh, I miss Tish and Terry.

Cupid’s arrow
2006-07-12— Posted by: allegra

This is a Limpkin. It is having a rough day. The animal rescue people can’t catch it to treat it.

How about a Japanese toilet training video
2006-07-12— Posted by: allegra

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-UJXCw6vyk

I guess things are a little different over there. Animated urine and feces that are happy to be flushed with pride? Okay, admit you’re curious, but don’t watch it, whatever you do, or your brain will explode. Protein Man is responsible for sending me the link to this abomination. Says everything you need to know about his friends…. Okay, it’s cute, but it’s still an abomination.

I’m officially a huge Neil Gaiman fan. I love the Sandman.

Off to the airport. Keith is going to be with me for the drive back in case I run into difficulties. Wa, bye Tish and Terry.

We had a big salmon cookout last night. And scallops, and oysters. And green salad, fresh asparagus, new potatoes, homemade guacamole and then fresh fruit for dessert.

My dad has been sending rips of the HOURS AND HOURS of family video we took in the early days of the kids. I have enough video of Keith clogging his diaper to run a frikkin feature film, and nothing of Katie (standard second child bs) and so it was amazing to see when Paul took Katie to Pemberton when she was about 10 and rode horseback, etc etc. But the tapes show up in the house bearing legends like “Tape 21” and so there I am am trying to figure out how to label things. One was 90 minutes of relatives at Christmas each talking louder than the last and eating like they’re all expecting to get shot the next morning. Any time I open my mouth on this tape it’s to criticize Paul or to ask my mother if she’s spilled something on her shirt (I’m thinking “Who is this frikkin cow who doesn’t have a nice thing to say?”). Paul, despite the fact that he has masses of black hair, is actively uglier than he is now. I really am happy Paul got better looking. I didn’t, but so it goes.

I suppose I’m happy I’m not as much of a cow as I used to be, except for the avoirdupois, so I have learned that I’m a nicer person than I used to be, which I suppose is okay.

Syd Barrett is dead
2006-07-11— Posted by: allegra

He was only 60. Shine on, you crazy diamond.

Three burials
2006-07-11— Posted by: allegra

On my brother’s heartfelt recommendation, we rented it. The first thing Keith said about “The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada” was “Cool, Barry Pepper, the sniper from Saving Private Ryan.” The second thing, which sort of encapsulates why I’d love him even if he wasn’t my kid, is, “Marco Beltrami, what else did he compose for?” That’s the kind of remark I made at his age, happy sigh.

Well, kiddo, how about Hellboy, I, Robot and Terminator III. So yeah, you’ve seen the name before. It was a good score, too, creepy and effective.

Tommy Lee Jones did a creditable job as director. Even if he never directs another film, he’s added to the body of film in a really good way. I only really have one objection to the film, and that’s the corpse. Seven to 10 days in the west Texas heat and he would have been twice normal size and black as a hunk of anthracite. I know I’m supposed to swallow the magic realizm, but when everything else about the movie is SO rooted in reality, a magic corpse just doesn’t fit. Anyway, the movie has both violence and long dead Mexicans in it, but it didn’t stop me from being entirely engrossed. Pic is Tommy Lee directing.

Today’s pic of the sun
2006-07-10— Posted by: allegra

http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/astropix.html

I get really sad when I think of the decommissioning of the Hubble – 2008 at the latest — but we still have some good pictures coming to us.

Up at five to do exercises and shove things into corners before Paul gets home, and then, back to work. I’m feeling purty good about it, really.

And THEN Nicky is coming over to review my songs. Did a recount last night, it’s up to 109. I’m thinking of a Sandman filk next, and then a Strangers in Paradise filk. Happy sigh. Got my work cut out for me.

Food and music
2006-07-09— Posted by: allegra

The Tom and Peggy gang have fed me again. Yum barbecue. Then we had an abbreviated singing and playing fest including tunes of newness, with sides of foot massage. Paul is on the Island visiting rellies, back tomorrow.

The Merman Lover
2006-07-08— Posted by: allegra

A maiden walked upon the shore
And listened to the wind, saying
"If I understand the sea and sky
I'll know how time begins."

Her lover of the merfolk;
She'd not even touched his hand
For she could not live in the sea
Nor could he, on dry land

And the moral of this story
And the point you've got to see
Is for all its grace and glory
It never happened to me.

The merman rode the swaying waves
And gave her options three
"I'll kill myself, or I'll kill you
Or we'll part company"

"For you to kill yourself my lord!
Lamentable! kind sir.
I'm sure that I could live without you
If you'd take no hurt!"

He rode the waves a while before he said
"So shall it be!"
And sad they were of voice and eye
As they parted company

And the moral of this story
And the point you've got to see
Is for all its grace and glory
It never happened to me.

Neil Gaiman Sandman
2006-07-08— Posted by: allegra

Hey Alan, as mentioned I am reading the above noted, (I – III, V) and what I didn’t mention is that I read one issue – just one – at your house on Montrose – it was in one of the digests. The susurrus of recognition was very Gaimanesque. Hey Janice, I dreamed you were helping me straighten out my library last night. !! I was charmed. Sure wish I knew where that dream house was, it was big enough for you and me and ALL OUR FRIENDS (that’s more like a hotel – the kids were there, don’t know where the menfolks were). Like, I woke up thinking, great house, but I think we’d need professional help keeping it clean….

Katie said when she came in last night “I was busier than hell my feet are killing me I don’t like drunks UFC sucks I am peeling like anything and I’m going out with Jessica and some gay buddy of hers who has a car my first cheque was $77 I’m glad you told me to keep a journal of my hours I’m going to check to see if they got it right see ya bye.” More or less in one breath. Whoever this guy is, he has a compulsion to keep cutting Katie’s hair, which is shorter every time I see her.

Soon, laundry. Ack.

Talked to Tori last night, we’ll be going for a walk on Sunday, if we are not both helpless cripples (her from her job, me, just per usual).

Soon, laundry, ack.

Misery me, where is the power supply for the wireless modem???? It’s like the bookbears ate it.

Aislin – the best since Macpherson
2006-07-08— Posted by: allegra

Cousin Gerald forwarded this…. nuff said.

Duncan Macpherson was an amazing Canadian political cartoonist with the Toronto Star from the 50’s to the 80’s. My parents loved him so much they bought one of his originals, which still hangs on the wall in their house. Anyway, Aislin has inherited his mantle, etc.; long may his pen drain his bile.

enough sleep
2006-07-07— Posted by: allegra

I guess I like running pictures of weird skull xrays, as well as baby animals and moose.

Not enough sleep
2006-07-07— Posted by: allegra

I shouldn’t have, because I’m sore as hell today, but I went to the midnight showing of Pirates II with Lil Cthu under my arm and a leather headscarf and a kind of piratical vest and boots get up. Go see it; it’s easily the best popcorn fest we’ll have this summer.

Whoever plays Davy Jones should get an Oscar for most convincing emoting with a hundred pounds o rubber on yer head. aMAZing CGI.

Back to work Monday but Doc Fuller says don’t do more than 4 hours a day. This is exactly what I wanted, because I simply can’t deal with being off work any longer, but I was dreading, just dreading, going back to work full time because I figured I would end up with a full scale relapse. Now I am going to go lie down; I am trashed, just like the physio said I would be after the neurological exam.

One pic…..
2006-07-06— Posted by: allegra

I’d have pictures……
2006-07-06— Posted by: allegra

……of the Garibaldi hike, but Paul is being a bum (ie too busy) and didn’t upload the pix yet. Terry and Paul are going off to the air show in Arlington WA; Tish is going off to see her sis in Courtenay; Keith is hauling a full shift at Stuporstore today; Katie is hauling an afternoon at, uh, the restaurant, and then, oh then, Pirates II although I’d better do my exercises if I’m gonna be leaving the house today – and then a cab home, cause no car after a midnight showing, cause Paul’s in Arlington. Sigh. I wish I could go to the airshow, but I simply can’t walk that much yet. Tish did the Garibaldi hike with shooting pains in her leg (she’s got the same ailment I do but is many years post injury) so she’s obviously made of much sterner stuff than I. I am stiffer than a hatch cover today, no doubt because I tried to sleep without a back support like a normal person. Well, I’m not normal.

Katie broke up with her boyfriend, did I mention that? I liked him, but C’est la Vie.

To the couple who are going to have anaesthetic style surgery this week upcoming, my prayers, useless as they may be, will be offered up to Eris and Loki for your prompt and chaos free recovery, da bot’ of yuz. Paul will be calling about transportation today.

I was going to visit my brother this weekend, but I won’t know for sure until tomorrow morning around noon after I get out of the Spinal Clinic. I wrote a song named Spinal Clinic.

I’ve actually been writing songs like it’s 1991, which I think was my best year ever, and normally the best song I write all year is in November, usually the week before my birthday, so I’m looking forward to whatever gravel the Muse kicks onto my bed for the duration of the year. I even started something last night and all I have is the chorus: The moral of the story/ and the point you’ve got to see/ is that for all its grace and glory/ it never happened – to me. (The song is going to be about singing a story that doesn’t belong to you, sort of a meditation about cultural expropriation. I mean, would anybody WANT to hear a song about how I really feel right now? Christ, even *I* wouldn’t. So I have the chorus, and I think I am going to start off with the single most trite image I can think of – a maiden walking by the sea. Then baby Cthulhu comes, and she pets it. And it eats her leg, and she’s unhappy, until it eats the rest of her, and then spits out her leg bone, which haunts her lover until he is driven mad and jumps off a cliff. Yes. Happy sigh. Even if all I ever have is the chorus, I’ll be fine.)

Ken Lay’s dead. Any bets on whether the US Gov. will pursue his estate for court costs, or will he be chuckling over that lapse into his gin and brimstone with the Big Red Dude? Yah mon.

not enough sleep
2006-07-05— Posted by: allegra

Off to Mike’s yesterday after physio to drink painkillers (in this case, Guinness) and help him do a spot of cleaning prior to Tori’s arrival back from Montreal. I didn’t vacuum because that involves stooping, but nothing stopped me from doing dishes (standing and lying down are okay, no sitting, no stooping). Spud and Tasha (the dogs, see previous pics) are doing fine; Spud is as flatulent as ever (like HOOOEEE, give your head a shake). Heather dropped by and Mike fed us REALLY good spag and sauce (mmmm, cilantro) and then drove me home about 10, which is good, because I was dreading taking the bus; I thought about walking but my leg wasn’t buying the notion.

I haven’t heard from Paul, but I imagine there’s no reception where he is… up a mountain someplace.

Woke up at three thirty. Bleaghh. I slept without a proper back support and I’m sore as hell this morning.

Katie and Keith both work today.

Church of the Holy Cross
2006-07-04— Posted by: allegra

This is on a logging road near Pemberton! Isn’t it pretty. John Lehmann took the picture, scanged from Globe and Mail via Sandy.

Short list
2006-07-04— Posted by: allegra

I only have two things to do today; see the physiotherapist (which I desperately need to do, as houseguests and back pain don’t mix too good) and work on the homily for the family reunion. This being about all I’m up for this is a good thing.

Guests departing….
2006-07-03— Posted by: allegra

Alan and Janice are due to leave, and Terry and Tish and Paul are going up to hike Black Tusk. Pic is of Janice at Tam Tam’s.

We ate at Horizon’s yesterday, thanks to Alan; then the 8 of us wandered around the rose garden and the Ainu sculptures and then drove all the way to the International Gelato place at Glen and Venables. Altogether a satisfactory day…….

Emergencies make for strange friends
2006-07-02— Posted by: allegra

This picture, taken by Pawan Kumar and scanged from Fark.com, came about because it is very wet in parts of India right now. I am sure the frog has a headache. Isn’t there a nursery rhyme about this? The frog he would a-wooing go, heigh ho Anthony Rowley?

Squid knees
2006-07-02— Posted by: allegra

Time to worship our squid Pavlova overlords. Damn, but that was one good meal we ate last night! mOm, you simply MUST meet Filkola at some point. She is a dessert cook of the finest water, but likely will not be in dessert making mode when she meets you, so you are SAFE. Ha ha. Safe being defined in some new and strictly caloric sense. Oh, tell pOp that one of the local fetish nights (dress up in candid and unusual clothing, rubber, etc) had a guy dress up as a baby Cthulhu (amazing costume, by report) and enlisted a DOZEN scantily clad baebes to worship him. Now that’s what I call entertainment. If they didn’t have techno so loud that your drink spills out of your glass when you’re standing still, I might go back. Anyway, that’s it for today’s SQUID report.

Next up, picture the hospitality that feeds 6 total strangers joyfully and you have the picture of Tom and Peggy’s house last night. They fed us broccoli and hollandaise sauce, corn on the cob, three kinds salad, mashed potatoes, garlic bread, teriyaki chicken and beef burgers and portobello mushroom burgers from the grill and then squid Pavlova for dessert with MASSES of fresh fruit, some of which I picked off the truly productive raspberries on Tom and Peggy’s deck, and coffee. And then we sang, and I premiered my song “Just call me Clem,” which is a Buffy Filk.

Full house
2006-07-02— Posted by: allegra

Here’s a pic of a barred owl Paul took yesterday at Widgeon Creek. They all hiked up to the falls….

Houseful
2006-07-01— Posted by: allegra

Tish, Terry, Lois, Connie, Alan and Janice are all here. Really full house. Good thing we have two bathrooms and Paul put a pressure balancer on the water system.

Sis-in-law LOIS is coming!!!!
2006-06-30— Posted by: allegra

We are now putting people in tents in the backyard!!!! And on top of everything else, Peggy and Tom have invited us ALL to dinner on Saturday; think of the magnificence of people who go, COOL, 8 extra people for dinner! And then music afterwards. Yes please!

Sis-in-law LOIS is coming!!!!
2006-06-30— Posted by: allegra

We are now putting people in tents in the backyard!!!! And on top of everything else, Peggy and Tom have invited us ALL to dinner on Saturday; think of the magnificence of people who go, COOL, 8 extra people for dinner! And then music afterwards. Yes please!

Weird physics
2006-06-30— Posted by: allegra

http://www2.le.ac.uk/ebulletin/features/2000-2009/2005/08/nparticle-82w-fqr-2cd

go scotus!!!
2006-06-30— Posted by: allegra

The Supreme Court of the US has handed the neo-cons their balls in butcher’s paper, having remembered a little something called the US Constitution. Military tribunals for Guantanamo detainees is, uh, illegal, and it came down 5 – 3. Yee the freak HAW!

And a formal apology for the Head Tax from the Harper Government. I’m good with that too!!

Now let us see what happens with queer and reproductive rights……

Where’d everybody go?
2006-06-29— Posted by: allegra

When I got up this morning, the kids were gone. You know your kids are adults when YOU sleep in and THEY go to work.

Since people keep asking me, my back is no better. The neuro appointment is early on July 7th. More physio today.

I have asked for, and will receive, professional help in getting my songs written out. I am vastly relieved.

Spoke to Paul – he’s at Sandy’s Red Deer Lodge and Campground in Madawaska ON, low impact eco tourism at its finest, in a beautiful setting of trails, rivers and waterfalls, perfect for canoeing, hiking, fishing, hunting (in season), birdwatching, amateur astronomy, nature photography, fungus hunting and lazing around doing sweet Fanny Adams. (End of commercial plug, but every word of it is true.) He’s been making himself useful and canoeing, so he’s a happy boy. Next up, he’s getting to Cornwall to pick up Tish and Terry and bring them back here.

I miss work. The lack of structure is killing me.

Morning all
2006-06-28— Posted by: allegra

Watched Big Broadcast of 1938 last night. It goes from sophistication to corn so rapidly, and so many times, that I felt as if my critical senses had to be remounted on ball bearings. A remarkable cultural artifact.

Jazz quotes:

http://www.allaboutjazz.com/php/jazzquotes.php

Agnes DeMille quote:

There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening
that is translated through you into action
and because there is only one of you in all of time,
this expression is unique. 
And if you block it, 
it will never exist through any other medium 
and be lost. 
The world will not have it. 

It is not your business to determine how good it is 
nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. 
It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, 
to keep the channel open. 
You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. 
You have to keep open and aware 
directly to the urges that motivate you. 
Keep the channel open.

Snake on a plan
2006-06-27— Posted by: allegra

from nmherps.blogspot.com

The hard working garbage collectors of Burnaby
2006-06-27— Posted by: allegra

For reasons best known to themselves, the hard working garbage collectors of Burnaby (FULL POINTS if you recognize the literary reference) came by this morning with a radio BLARING out the side of the truck. Katie and I were blasted out of bed and foregathered in the kitchen cursing under our breath.

FINALLY GOT AN APPOINTMENT to the spinal clinic, woo hoo. It’s for the DAY BEFORE I’m scheduled to go back to work, ditto, ditto.

Completed another song and fired it off to the archivist. SORRY ABOUT all the ALL CAPS. I’m feeling a bit more lively today, belike.

No, duh
2006-06-26— Posted by: allegra

http://www.prev.org/prc/prc_summary_gruenewld_aov.html

A study proves that the more bars there are in a neighbourhood, the rougher it is. Like, as in, more violent.

No blog this am, sorry.
2006-06-26— Posted by: allegra

Starlings
2006-06-25— Posted by: allegra

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6815781973393100875

Very funny nature video. Don’t watch from Dialup….

Unintentional humor
2006-06-25— Posted by: allegra

Downunder websites have headlines like: Impressive Wallabies beat Ireland, which leads me to think that perhaps the Irish involved had been drinking pretty hard that day. I mean, Christ, wallabies aren’t THAT big.

enough sleep
2006-06-25— Posted by: allegra

Paul’s off to Ontario to haul people back and forth, etc. (on airline passes). My mother is bugging me to finish the homily for the family reunion. I established only last night that it’s supposed to be 10 minutes long, so at least I have a better idea of HOW MUCH blather I am supposed to produce…

Kate’s at her boyfriend’s, Keith’s in bed asleep, Dr. Filk is at PondFilk (Paul at the last minute coughed up the motorcycle keys, thank Goddess) and all is more or less right with the world. I wrote a song yesterday, or applied words to one I’ve been working on for a month. My mother wanted to know where it came from, and I can only paraphrase Willie Nelson; songs are in the air, all the time, and all you have to do is listen to them.

Sleeping with the Enemy
2006-06-24— Posted by: allegra

From Gerald, provenance unknown.

Back Doctor
2006-06-24— Posted by: allegra

I read good chunks of Hamilton Hall’s Back Doctor (on Tish and Terry’s recommendation) and I guess I am feeling both better and worse about my back. He says the correct balance of rest and activity for patients with nerve root involvement from a herniated disc is 45 minutes of activity with 15 minutes of rest, which doesn’t really accord that well with going back to work. The tingling (paraesthesia) is quite consistent. It gets worse when I sit, and shifts around when I stand (better in my heel, worse in the ball of my foot). I am not imagining the weakness of my right leg – I limp because I can’t help it. Katie was quite concerned when she was walking with me today (I took her to Starbucks just before her shift started), and I just laughed. (Although I came home and lay down afterwards). I’m not going to fall over, although betimes it looks like it. Dr. Hall says it’s a good idea to distinguish between numbness and paraesthesia; on that basis, I am only truly numb in the outboard two little toes.

On the plus side, except for the Voltaren I am taking no pain killers, not even to sleep. Provided I don’t do anything stupid like bend forward or try to touch my knee to my forehead or twist my lower spine, or for that matter lift anything heavier than a book, I’m fine. I did get some exercise today, but that was after I did some driving, and driving completely sucks still, I’d be way better off not doing it.

The CT films have finally left RCH and have gone on to VGH Spine Clinic, but they haven’t been signed in yet so I’ll have to bug them about it on Monday.

I do feel relieved though. There’s only about a 20 percent chance I’ll have to have surgery, and the one really BAD thing that can happen, which is a rupture that affects the nerves involved in bowel and bladder control, is about as likely to happen as a lightning strike, so I’ve gone from being worried to being impatient to see a neurosurgeon and get some feel for what I’m up against. If I do need surgery, it’s fussy without being particularly complicated and I could be back at work in two weeks (ever supposing I got in promptly, which may not be feasible). One thing is clear…. I shouldn’t be at work and I can quit feeling guilty about it.

Keith just got in, he had a good shift at the Cirque and now he’s playing Final Fantasy X.

ow
2006-06-23— Posted by: allegra

I’m doing better, thanks to a superlative physio session late yesterday but I still can’t sit very long and my foot’s still numb.

Katie just hauled her first shift at the restaurant and it went okay. Paul got to say “Have a good day at work” to her this morning for the first time and I almost burst into tears.

Watched “Captain Blood” with Keith. Anybody who likes Pirates of the Caribbean HAS to see this movie.

Harryhausen does Muffett
2006-06-21— Posted by: allegra

Do I ever shut up about my back?
2006-06-21— Posted by: allegra

Sorry, no.

Doc wrote me off work until July 7th; I have to get my own films from RCH to VGH or I won’t get into the spinal clinic. I am dreading moving around, I am very sore.

Pic was drawn by Brooke; I call on everyone I know to witness that I do NOT look like Bruce Sterling in a wig.

More work
2006-06-20— Posted by: allegra

Katie has a job at a restaurant – she starts Friday!!!!

Pick one
2006-06-20— Posted by: allegra

1) spacy

2) snappish

3) sore

I can’t sit, I can’t sleep, my back is getting worse, not better, despite the physio and the exercises at home. I am too sick to work. I HATE THIS. I want to go back to work. But if I’m not sore enough to work I’m too spaced out to work. I’m back to the doc today, I have to get a note to get off work for at least three weeks.

More moose
2006-06-19— Posted by: allegra

From a Finnish newspic site.

I’d give anything to be able to do this
2006-06-19— Posted by: allegra

But unfortunately my back hurts too much. And I had to clean up cat shit this morning. That really didn’t help.

I see the physio at 4:30.

Pic (thx Sandy) is of a traditional Spanish figure called El Colacho; he’s jumping over the babies to ward off evil spirits.

Ow
2006-06-18— Posted by: allegra

It’s still owie owie owie but Paul dug up some more painkillers. Here’s a pic of Harry and William hungover ‘n stuff at their grans 80th. Can’t sit, must get back to my 80’s feminist sf (Native Tongue, can’t put it down).

Last night I dreamed I was Humphrey Bogart and I went to Indonesia for the earthquake (they had scheduled an earthquake, how handy) and when it came it pushed a whole perfectly preserved city into view and then the aftershock knocked it all over. Then I went to a banquet that featured Les Brown and his Band of Renown. Then I watched little mammals who got free food at the temple throw up on each other. Weird, hunh?

Lois arrives in about an hour.

From King5 Seattle news site
2006-06-17— Posted by: allegra

These wild deer are licking a dying cat, Sammy. I am assuming that Sammy, having kidney failure, would smell like a salt lick to them which is why they kept coming up to him and licking him. The cat died a couple of days after this pick was taken. Photo credit Margie Scott, Sammy’s owner.

Sammy apparently put up with it. Mammal biochemistry sure is weird.

ow
2006-06-17— Posted by: allegra

My back is sore, my foot is numb, and I’m taking Monday and Tuesday off next week. I can sit for perhaps 20 minutes before becoming so uncomfortable that I must either stand or lie down, and I’m getting frantic that by the time this is all over I won’t have a job to go back to…. everybody is managing fine without me.

Alan and Janice are here; Paul and Katie have taken up all the domestic slack because of my infirmity. I don’t mind, I just don’t want it to last.

I’m going to try to get into the spine clinic at VGH.

Guest Blogger
2006-06-16— Posted by: allegra

This is Keith here. Allegra isn’t feeling up to blogging today(this really is serious, isn’t it?). Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to run away and join the Cirque now, sans the running away part.

The Chaos and, uh, another poem
2006-06-15— Posted by: allegra

This poem is one of the first things I ever saw on the internet – it, however, was an abbreviated version and this is the real deal.

http://ncf.idallen.com/english.html

It’s bloody brilliant. Which reminds me…. The following is the first thing I ever copied down from the internet. It was in slightly different form and the artist was not credited. As per freaking usual, eh?

http://www.com-www.com/musiclyrics/addottakip-wetdream.html

I’ve never heard the song but it’s floating, as it were, around.

I take a back seat to no one in presenting weirdness
2006-06-15— Posted by: allegra

http://psyc.queensu.ca/~munhallk/05_its_10_below.mpeg

This is an X RAY VIDEO of a guy saying “It’s ten below outside”. Note provenance. Of *course* this came from a Canadian university. If you mess with the link you will also see a guy say en francais, the baker drank six beers.

Baby vulture
2006-06-15— Posted by: allegra

Sandy forwarded this…..

Relocalization
2006-06-15— Posted by: allegra

Relocalization is what happens when the nerve root gets some pressure taken off it. The tingling and numbness are reduced – and the pain increases. This is actually a really good sign.

I went home after work and went straight to bed last night, doing about 1.5 hours of back exercises. I was rewarded with much more back pain and much reduced foot numbness. Anyway, more physio today and this time I’m going to grit my teeth and go for the ice. Gotta be in good fighting trim for the horde (5 people, from two different parties) descending upon my household this weekend.

Lymond Fix
2006-06-14— Posted by: allegra

http://www.virtual-bird.com/birdsounds.htm

If you recall from Lymond 1 (Game of Kings) there is a comment, “My dear ass, I ran like a corn crake”. So scroll down and find the corn crake bird sound, and now you can enjoy the dialogue more intensely.

If you don’t recognize the literary reference, just hang wit da boids for a while.

The Dalai Jarmo, who forwarded the link, particularly recommends the Luscinia luscinia.

Look what Grampa bought me!
2006-06-14— Posted by: allegra

For true! One of my coworkers has a very lucky little boy, and his Grampa bought him this extremely shiny three wheeler. Look at that grin! He’s not yet two…. what a cutie patootie!

Net neutrality
2006-06-14— Posted by: allegra

I have a cousin Reck!
2006-06-14— Posted by: allegra

Who is no vernal gallus domesticus. It’s funny to be pushing 50 with a broom and realize that I have family elders who have a) cooler names than mine and b) lots more interesting experience (including woodworking, which is one of my all time favourite human skills). Anyway, welcome Reck, as a reader and hopefully contributor. My family can never be TOO BIG.

My back is much the same as it was yesterday morning but I’m not limping nearly so badly. I am going to have to stand at work today as much as possible. I now have about 25 minutes to do some back exercises, start a load of laundry, and replace my current garb with something more suitable for work before Paul turns up with the car. Dr. S told me to go back to work because it would be easier than staying at home and lifting loads of laundry. Dr. Filk’s amusing rebuttal to this was, Doc, I haven’t so much as lifted an eyebrow since I put my back out; I am recording the comment here lest it be lost from humankind.

I am starting another long poem. I do things like that every ten years or so. It’s based on my take of some of Charles Olson’s commentaries about poetry, and I scanged the titles from Silliman’s Blog, which was recommended to me by David J D., who taught me everything I know about poetry subsequent to my grounding in it back in high school in London ONT with Mike Pooley. I swore I wouldn’t do anything else creative until I finished my songs, but that’s a sucker’s game. I just went back and reviewed some stuff I sent my mother already, and it’s wrong wrong wrong wrong worng. Which means that I have to contact a professional and get straightened out about music theory, and I’m phobic about music theory, and (comment from wings, ahhhh shadddap!).

Suggestions about WHICH professional will be greatly appreciated. And NO I don’t need a psychiatrist.

Shown is the school Paul attended in Grade 2, in Huntsville ON.

Physio
2006-06-13— Posted by: allegra

Well everything went swimmingly until the ice pack. I react VERY BADLY to cold, and I sadly said, okay, but my back is going to spasm, and she did it anyway, and two fucking hours of brutal work went up the flue.

Earlier, the physiotherapist said, “WHAT? Your doctor told you to go back to work? You shouldn’t be back at work, that’s insane!”

And insane is what I’ll be if I don’t go back to work; if I can move, drive, etc. I’m obviously getting better. But she said Don’t Sit More than you Have to….. I’m supposed to apply ice tonight. Twice, for 15 minutes. I think I’ll do extensions instead. I’m still twitching from having the ice pack applied. Gah!

Arr there me hearties
2006-06-13— Posted by: allegra

Slate mag commissioned 6 pulp covers for classic works of literature. OF COURSE Melville made the cut. Stolen from the artist, Chris Papasadero/FWIS and Slate Magazine by way of Filkola (Brooke, whom I now dub Filkola, so there).

My site host sent me an email demanding I renew… which I did, for five bloody years, back in April…. so I told them if it was a joke it wasn’t funny, and if it was a clerical error it was uh disheartening seeing as how they had shaken something like $300 US outta my pocket in April. I GOT AN IMMEDIATE RESPONSE. No kidding. An immediate response. Which consisted of an explanation/grovelling apology. I pronounced myself mollified, and forgave them. What kind of name is Coldy? Strange name for a support person.

I have experienced an outpouring of sympathetic emails about my back, and I thank everybody who sent good thoughts and good advice. I’m off to the physiotherapist tonight and promise to radiate keen attention for the duration of my appointment.

Charming article about King Bhumibol
2006-06-13— Posted by: allegra

http://www.hindu.com/2006/06/13/stories/2006061302312000.htm

Plays like Sidney Bechet? Sigh.

I’m not imagining things (not exactly as shown)
2006-06-12— Posted by: allegra

Well, I got the CT scan results back. I have a herniated disc across L5 and S1. No, those are not my pictures, I stole them off a back site from an American University. SOOOO. I am getting a referral to a neurosurgeon, but if I’m a very good girl and lose 40 pounds and eat my vegetables and do every exercise prescribed by the physiotherapist (whom I see tomorrow in the late afternoon) I will likely not need to have surgery. My bizarre gait is common like dirt among people with the same ailment, so I don’t feel so stupid about my shuffling walk. (I walk really funny these days.)

The joys of over 40 dating
2006-06-12— Posted by: allegra

May Tlazolteotl protect us all! A sweet and wonderful friend of mine reports from the dating front that she met up with a guy who claimed to be 63 in his on line dating profile and turned out to be (****!!?)

87 years old!!!!!!!!!

No kiddums!

I guess there’s no liar like an old liar.

Swallow Chicks
2006-06-12— Posted by: allegra

Brother Jim sent me this. I love their pugnacious little eyeballs and whiskers.

Robber Fly Day 2
2006-06-12— Posted by: allegra

I love this pic. I wish I could post a higher resolution picture.

Robber Fly Day 1
2006-06-12— Posted by: allegra

Cousin Jim sent this and the next pic. Note in the second pic that Mr. Robber Fly – who was hanging out on the same flower two days running – has moisture beading on him. Jim sayeth “I am still getting the hang of this camera” but I’d say he’s doing purty good, how about you?

Couldn’t post yesterday, don’t know why. I was pretty sore all day yesterday and glad am I to see the doc today.

Track their migration to Canada
2006-06-10— Posted by: allegra

http://www.bbc.co.uk/nature/animals/birds/supergoose/

Uncomfortably numb
2006-06-10— Posted by: allegra

I’m not experiencing pain, but the numbness is really bad, so I’m going back to bed. Herman Melville (Moby Dick) I abandoned about 1/3rd of the way through so I am now casting about for something lengthy to read (I bailed when he started listing whales…)

I may go back through Harry Potter. I don’t think I ever read Harry Potter IV all the way through, or if I did it was once and a long while ago. Or maybe I’ll run through Lymond again. I suspect I’m gonna be in bed for a while.

Last night I dreamed the forest across the road from Lake Crescent Lodge caught fire, and all we could do was watch and wring our hands. I also dreamed my Auntie Mary moved into a big inflatable igloo style tent (this thing was huge, like the entire upper storey of my house, and I could hear the inflater motor moaning and sputtering in the background), accidentally deflated it on herself, and then popped out of the tent in Inuit garb, saying, “I’m okay, I’m okay, it’ll reinflate in a second!” and it did, sproing. I think if I told her about it she’d laugh.

Watched small portions of Howl’s Moving Castle and Jarhead last night. Howl is one seriously messed up bird, and Jarhead kinda lost me because of its MTV style cinematography. However, since I couldn’t really sit still to watch anything, I can’t really do a review of either movie.

Saw Mike, and how good it was to see him.

Crap
2006-06-09— Posted by: allegra

I phoned the doc’s office to make another appointment for Monday am, and found out he’s in the middle of making a referral to a specialist for me in consequence of the CT results. This is NOT good news and I am stumping up and down cursing. I felt better today, too. Piss, moan.

oo oo
2006-06-09— Posted by: allegra

I hope you can see this picture, and the best typo of 2006 so far.

Happy news.
2006-06-09— Posted by: allegra

I forgot to mention that Keith now has two part time jobs – one as kitchen slave to the Cirque de Soleil during their gig in Vancouver, and the other at Superstore. Keith got both of these jobs unassisted. Words cannot express how proud I am of him. As he is making a good hourly wage in both cases, I am very very happy.

Stir crazy
2006-06-09— Posted by: allegra

I’ve been out of the house three times since Saturday; once to buy pillows, which seemed to help, and twice to see doctors or get tests. I’ve gotten a third of the way through Moby Dick, reread King Jesus and Harry Potter VI and I am now officially stir crazy.

Read with horror that when Paul said, “Peggy’s here and we’re going to go walking” I seriously considered crawling out of bed and at least walking up to 16th with them before I remembered that the doc said positively no walking without a cell phone and somebody with. I have contented myself with a brief tidy of the kitchen and making myself a cuppa.

I am now to the point where I am saying things to myself like, “I had no idea how much I love my job” and “I miss my coworkers, bitter tears, bitter tears,” and “Screw Retirement” although I may not feel that way in twenty years.

Stewart Copeland, whom I like in so many of his artistic incarnations – musical dude for Dead Like Me – composer for cartoons (I’m in Trouble Again is a favourite of mine) – drummer for Oysterhead – drummer for the Police – has made a movie about the rise of the Police.

Buggy
2006-06-08— Posted by: allegra

Unless I miss my guess a dragonfly larva. Western Gomphid, from the size of it. Cousin Jim sent it.

Brooke, it’s all your fault but Linda is singing and playing with people again. (This will mean nothing to most of you, so cheerfully ignore it.)

I just got back from the doctor and she says, stay the hell home (here’s a note) and go to hopsital if you start number one-ing or two-ing when you didn’t think of it first. Hint, don’t take a taxi, unless you bring a hundred dollar cash tip.

I’ll be back to see the doc on Monday as that’s when they figure I’ll have results from the CT scan. I’m going back to bed, Herman Melville and I have a hot date.

Ow
2006-06-08— Posted by: allegra

Going to see the doc again now. I had a good night’s sleep but as soon as I stood up, big ow.

Droopy the Plane
2006-06-07— Posted by: allegra

No blog this am, sorry
2006-06-07— Posted by: allegra

Coming and going
2006-06-06— Posted by: allegra

Leaving this earthly plane, Billy Preston, of kidney failure. Some called him the 5th Beatle. He played WC Handy as a young man in a movie that was made the year I was born. Truly a great musician.

Spent 260 dollars on my back yesterday. I bought a Tempur foam pillow, a wedge pillow and one of those chair ball thingies. The CT scan is tonight. John is forgoing Jericho Beach to take me, as I am not convinced I could safely drive down to the hospital; whenever I extend my foot in the accelerating position I get a hell of a pinch, and with the sole of my foot so dead I might have difficulty controlling the car. Paul’s riding the Beemer to work, and given the weather I suspect he’s enjoying it more than he’ll ever admit.

Went completely without drugs last night to see how sore I am, and the answer is, if I move slowly, it’s not too bad. I can’t stay in one position for very long though, and since when I’m off the anti-inflammatories the tingling and numbness get worse, I guess I’m stuck on the vulture killing drug for the time being. It’s also called Voltaren, which sounds like a creepy StarTrekified bunch of aliens. “The Voltarens are hailing us, Keptin!”

I light a candle for the people close to Mt Merapi in Indonesia, and the people of Phuket, who are not interested in being TV movie of the week fodder for the inexhaustible North American appetite for Schadenfreude.

I light a candle for the relatives of the guys busted for terrorism in Ontario. Half of those arrested are probably blowhards that Mohammed (uhbp) would have rolled his eyes over – all talk and no action, except now they’re looking at a LOT of free time to study the Holy Koran. The other half are probably going to cause career problems for the fuckwits in the Immigration department who let them into the country and I’m SO upset about that…. But the womenfolk. Chances are good most of them knew nothing about the alleged three tons of alleged fertilizer. I light a candle for anybody who snickered when they read that one of the alleged suspects allegedly wanted to cut Stephen Harper’s head off. Anybody who wants to make Stephen Harper a martyr needs pity, not censure.

Okay, my back officially hurts now.

Brother James Kissing the Blarney Stone
2006-06-05— Posted by: allegra

Ah yes. Knowing full well that I’d drag myself off my deathbed for the opportunity to post so unflattering a pic of him, Brother James has forwarded this lovely shot. You look like you’ve lost weight, bud! Wish I could say the same. Although I wouldn’t want to have some fragile looking Irish punter hanging onto me trews – it’s a hell of a drop.

My CT scan is scheduled for 8:30 tomorrow night. Now I have to go lie back down again, as I can sit for approximately 10 minutes before my back starts to go spung.

In the humour book yesterday, I ran across this gem: “You are what Rev Dr. Spooner would call a shining wit!” I would so characterize myself at the moment. After I went back to bed I had ANOTHER dream, this time a musical comedy about mutants. And Sears. And a really bad music video. All the mutants were hideously bad CGI – put one much in mind of the Dunnett Phrase “A Face Like a Pound of Candles on a Hot Day.” They were sitting around in a smoky dimlit bar musically deriding another mutant’s music video, which was his attempt to gain cachet in the world of the normal. I dinna ken where this shite comes from, laddie.

The painkillers are giving me formication.

I bless the friends who are travelling soon. Must collapse, back is angry now.

Going to Chilliwack for pie
2006-06-05— Posted by: allegra

Going to Chilliwack for pie, via plane, formation flying. Yes, there are few better ways to go to Chilliwack, and the pie up there is divine. Fwded from Rob of Nine, of course.

It’s 4 am and the drugs have worn off
2006-06-05— Posted by: allegra

To the tune of The Flintstones

Back pain!  You've got back pain!
Your nerves jumped you like a bunch of thugs!
Back pain!  You've got back pain!
And your only question's, Where's the Drugs?

Maybe... you have blown your L4 disc!
Maybe....yoga would have halved the risk!

Back pain! You've got back pain!
You're in fashion now, you're all the rage!
Back pain! You've got back pain!
Welcome to your middle age!

Peggy and Tom fed us last night and we did music. I wasn’t actually in that much pain last night, I just can’t move very fast because I know exactly what will happen if I do and the sole of my right foot is almost entirely numb. Just now when I woke up I realized that I am now getting occasional shooting pains down the other leg, in more or less the same places that are troubling me on the other side. Paul will have the motorbike today and John will drive me to my appointment; I don’t know exactly when the CT scan will be but likely sometime today, possibly tomorrow.

I dreamed that Catherine (old bud from Toronto) and I went exploring in micro gravity… in full suits … with no tethers …. an abandoned space station. It wasn’t until I got back to something solid that I realized what a boneheaded maneuvre THAT was. I think my back was just trying to tell me how very wonderful the notion of no gravity would be right now….. Okay. It’s too early for more vulture killing drugs… do I want one of the jibber jabber pills, or do I want one of the “may cause drowsiness” pills? Decisions, decisions.

NO, I am not going to work today.

Hospital
2006-06-04— Posted by: allegra

Generally when I don’t post it’s as a result of illness; this was certainly the case yesterday. I was not actually able to get out of bed until 2 in the afternoon yesterday; previous attempts resulted in me curling up in a fetal ball and yelling in a very non-Hollywood kinda way.

Paul helped me into my clothes and drove me to the hospital, where I was attended to right away, by which I mean to say that somebody shot my ass full of morphine within an hour and sent me home with Shumthing Shtrong.

I am not currently experiencing pain, it’s more like discomfort, and I can’t really sit for any length of time. I will mention that the sole of my right foot is completely numb, the doc thinks I’ve blown a disk, and I’m supposed to go straight back to the hospital if I lose mobility or start wetting myself, which, thanks be to the laws of physics, is not currently a problem.

I am supposed to have a CT scan tomorrow. Gotta go, it’s hurting again.

I can’t get any freaking sympathy
2006-06-02— Posted by: allegra

Never poke a pharmacy student in the ribs, this is what might happen…. Brooke sayeth:

Bah, the heart risk is only for high doses. Plus it would just be multiplying your already very low risk of a heart attack. (Maybe. The majority of NSAID studies are on, surprise! an overwhelmingly male patient population.) An NSAID’s reaaaaalllll murder weapon of choice is causing bleeding stomach ulcers.

(aren’t I cheerful! ulcer odds: way below 1%)

Hee hee, voltaren vulture crisis. I must spread news of the piteous plight of the kidney of the carrion-eater among my pharmacy peers.

Rural Tennessee or Western Washington?
2006-06-02— Posted by: allegra

I have obtained a picture of a coworker’s backyard. It is too funny, in a low key kinda way, not to share. Hey Paul! Our backyard doesn’t look like this, and it’s all your fault.

So I read the news….
2006-06-02— Posted by: allegra

http://today.reuters.com/news/newsArticle.aspx?type=healthNews&storyID=2006-06-01T230228Z_01_L01793219_RTRUKOC_0_US-PAINKILLERS.xml&archived=False

And find out my drug may kill me. Well, so will this back pain. Read the wikipedia article on the NSAID I’m taking right now… it kills vultures! For true!

ow
2006-06-02— Posted by: allegra

I have to stop writing about my obsessions! Getting up this morning did not trigger zugswang, but Jumpin’ Elwy Yost, this is not much fun. Another perfect night of sleep, woke up maybe twice, (once because Paul muttered, “I have to get up,” in his sleep), and didn’t experience much back pain at all while horizontal. The slow, Everestian climb toward verticality was not accompanied by immobility, just rude amounts of pain. I stumped up and down the living room trying to shake it off. It’s only 5:30 in the morning; Paul and Katie are off to the Seattle Music Experience today as a field trip.

At Keith’s invitation, watched Casablanca again last night; I had forgotten what a great movie it is. The only fly in the oinkment is the casually racist attitude towards Sam the Piano Player and the other minority dudes and dudettes (Dooley Wilson’s actually called a BOY by Ingrid Bergman) but for 1942 it wasn’t too god awful. Oh, and let’s not forget that Gestapo Nazis don’t wear Luftwaffe uniforms, another clanger, but oh well.

Finally, Diclofenac is a really weird drug. I’m not getting much if anything in the way of side effects, but when it’s worn off, I seize up like a four by eight.

Crick
2006-06-01— Posted by: allegra

After an amazing nights’ sleep – we went to bed early and didn’t waken until 7 am, most unusual – I moved to get up and went straight into a spinal Zugswang which lasted about 3 minutes. I couldn’t sit back down; I couldn’t put all the weight on my right foot; I couldn’t walk. Shrieking in pain, I appealed to Paul, who acted as a human cane so I could get out to the kitchen and get some food on board for the anti-inflammatory to sit on.

I am still in so much pain that I can’t force myself not to breathe shallowly. It took me five minutes to feed the cats, and I am contemplating getting dressed with horror and resignation. Up next…. pain killers. And then a horrible ride to work.

Went home from work early….
2006-05-31— Posted by: allegra

My back was just screeching in pain… took me 20 minutes to get to the car. The doc took one look at me, sent me for x-rays and prescribed an anti-inflammatory which seems to be working already (who knows, right?). Anyway, I don’t feel like killing myself anymore (at 2:30 this afternoon it was a near thing) and Katie bought me sushi for dinner, so I declare myself improving; I have now popped some more pain killers and despite it only being 6 pm I’m off to bed.

Dr. Filk may get his old job back; we are keeping our fingers crossed.

Still no sign of Pokey, but I still have hope.

Perimenopause sucks.

Paul’s off to visit a neighbour in hospital. Love that man.

What a drag it is growing old
2006-05-31— Posted by: allegra

I tink I be on painkillers the rest of my life. The pain in my back is interfering with my ability to reason and it took me 10 minutes to get dressed this morning. Obviously I am going to seek medical attention but in the meantime I am just flabbergasted how much it hurts.

Baby pic
2006-05-30— Posted by: allegra

It’s Brayden again. Sigh, happy sigh. I can see a baby without wanting to eat it, but Brayden is a cutie patootie. Happy sigh.

enough sleep
2006-05-30— Posted by: allegra

Mike and John and I went to Canada Games Pool last night for a nice long soak. It was amazing not to experience any pain for an hour, although I’m sore as blazes this morning.

I was thinking of swimming, but as soon as the warm jets hit, I was immobilized.

I am LOVING Barnes’ Armies of Memory…. what a page turner. I love Giraut, I think he’s my 4th fave hero, after Lymond, Niccolo and Miles, of course.

today’s APOD
2006-05-29— Posted by: allegra

As always, I went to Astronomy Picture of the Day, and got dumped into a NASA feed (rebroadcast, obliviously) of the Titan landing. It was so beautiful I cried. I’m still sniffing. The stars our destination……..

enough sleep
2006-05-29— Posted by: allegra

Katie, the little weiner, has gone and gotten her tongue pierced. And me having custody of her dental bills for another 18 months.

Sang and played at Tom and Peggy’s last night, having sucked back a truly magnificent meal concocted by their tallest scion. SOME people have decent respectful children, all full up with filial piety.

Worked on the new tune when I got home (how to make a mandolin sound big and tough, and it needs lots of slide guitar, and it sounds like I’m trying to channel the blues and Malian music through a tubby middleaged white woman’s body…. Dr. Filk just shrugged when I commented on the inappropriateness of it, and also, when I asked him if I was boring him, just laughed). Stayed up for Katie to get back from (???) bowling, at midnight. (Camper Van Beethoven… “Take – the skinheads bowling,” went through my mind when she came home.)

I am also reading John Barnes’ new novel Armies of Memory, which contains the deathless line (I paraphrase) “I’d have more luck organizing a ferret marching band” and also the deathless line, “It’s a strange job, so it’s good it’s being done by someone strange.”

Paul, bless him, just called to let me know he’ll be home in time to hand over the car, so I have plenty of time to make a lunch, etc. before I go into work, and it’s Memorial Day in the States so it should be just funereal on the phones today.

I have received (now four) postcards from Brother James, the last one of those postcards of all of the major sights of London. It sounds like he’s having a whale of a time. Happy sigh.

Keith is still enjoying his job, especially the money and how much time free he has to try and get killed some more in the WoW universe at his new fave internet cafe. He said the other day that he thinks he’s too snippy, and after thinking to myself that *I* am currently the reigning champeen in that department (note to self, screw perimenopause) I told him that I thought he was a lot LESS snippy now that he was working in a reputable job and making decent money in an environment where he is less likely to lose the nail off his toe (I went into his room looking for something and found his toenail on his dresser. Bleagh, and damned straight, it serves me right.)

Coming up next on World of Allegra: Lunch for me, breakfast for kitties, and a cuppa.

Links
2006-05-28— Posted by: allegra

Storm pix

Joss Whedon interview (old)

Mercury sponge

How to bust into a cell wall.

This has big implications for Canadian weather

Cat furniture
2006-05-27— Posted by: allegra

That’s me passed out (almost) on the sofa. Kira crawled onto me (walking solemnly up and down on her exceedingly pointy feet, trying to find my solar plexus) and then Zeek! came up and touched noses with her and sat on my arm. I was stuck like that for an hour! They were both purring.

Hyack
2006-05-27— Posted by: allegra

Keith volunteered to take us to breakfast this am, and so we walked down to the IHOP at 6th and 8th in New Westminster… (Paul ended up picking up the tab, thank you Paul!) expecting it to be like every other Saturday morning at IHOP and jammed out the doors. The walk through New Westminster was lovely, everything blooming and fresh. When we got there, the parking lot was empty and we were seated immediately. Why? Because of the Hyack Festival!

When we emerged from the IHOP we watched a number of extremely kickass NW Washington marching bands, and the usual assortment of floats and marching groups including schools, businesses, War Amps, Old Cool Cars, Scary Evil F*cking Clowns that make small children burst into tears, Apple Blossom Festival Princesses, Pipe Bands, Football teams, More extremely good marching bands, Military outfits, a wooden-sided car that even Paul couldn’t identify, Dogs, cool, non traditional bicycles, an inflatable lobster, etc etc. Then it started to rain, so we came back here.

Katie’s boyfriend L. hasn’t fed his tarantula in four freaking months, doesn’t he know the meaning of humanity? We may have to make a cricket run. And he says he wants a turtle! Nyet! Not until he can keep the arthropod in good shape, mutter mutter.

I didn’t eat any pork products at breakfast and as a result I feel pretty good. I think I’m going to have to stop eating bacon and sausages entirely, as much as I love them; every time I eat them I feel rather stunned afterwards.

At the risk of sounding like I never eat at home, we ate last night at Simba’s on Edmonds. DAMN the food was so excellent! We were lucky to get a table.

I talked to Jeff this morning, it was great to hear his voice.

On a very sad note, and one that I have dreaded posting, the magnificent Pokey has not returned since early this past week. Dr. Filk is feeling pretty wretched, so be nice to him.

enough sleep
2006-05-26— Posted by: allegra

Thank God this interminable week is almost over.

Spotting traffic
2006-05-25— Posted by: allegra

Here’s Paul, flying around last summer with Dan P.

????
2006-05-25— Posted by: allegra

I’m the customer service person of the week. This is impossible. I demand a recount. Oh. You mean I get swag? Like, a Starbucks card, a free movie pass and a company golf shirt? Okay. Snif….

I’d like to thank my mother, and my father, and the harbor police…..

Forwarded from mOm
2006-05-25— Posted by: allegra

Arthur Guiterman...

On the Vanity of Earthly Greatness 

The tusks which clashed in mighty brawls
Of mastodons, are billiard balls.

The sword of Charlemagne the Just
Is Ferric Oxide, known as rust.

The grizzly bear, whose potent hug,
Was feared by all, is now a rug.

Great Caesar's bust is on the shelf,
And I don't feel so well myself.

Migraine
2006-05-25— Posted by: allegra

At fifty one practices virtues that at twenty one couldn’t pronounce.

It’s Towel Day!!!!!!!!!!
2006-05-24— Posted by: allegra

http://www.towelday.kojv.net/

I am a frood who really knows where her towel is.

Happy sigh
2006-05-24— Posted by: allegra

Like many employed persons, I kvetch about my job. But every once in a while you get a call from a customer saying, Your product SAVED MY ASS! (During Hurricane Katrina).

And you know, it feels pretty good. You hear so much crap that it’s good to remember that the reason you don’t hear from most of your customers is that they are happy. So today I am happy. I don’t know how long it will last, but I’m doing purty good.

Shiny robot news
2006-05-23— Posted by: allegra

http://www.newscientisttech.com/channel/tech/mg19025526.500.html

More summaries
2006-05-23— Posted by: allegra

Well, I would have had a simply charming time at Jeff’s if I hadn’t had a migraine, but really the only bad thing is that I now have to watch TWO zombie movies the next time I’m there; it’s probably going to be 28 Days and Army of Darkness, so pray for me.

Off to walk with Peggy, and so to work.

From the walk to Marymere Falls
2006-05-23— Posted by: allegra

A Flat Red Wood Borer.

Dr Filk and Brooke get wet
2006-05-22— Posted by: allegra

To summarize the last two days:
2006-05-22— Posted by: allegra

Migraine.

Oh yeah, forgot to blog
2006-05-20— Posted by: allegra

I am currently enjoying the sunny environs of Victoria. Tori bird is on her way to Montreal. Jeff’s gonna pick me up in a few minutes and then I’ll go to his place to grunt, scratch, drink beer and watch movies (really, a superlative way to spend a weekend……)

Katie has introduced her new beau to the grands – all this is going fine. Very very peaceful. More later.

Hm, must check what’s in the computer for pix these days. Here’s my cousin Derry, who has left us for the undiscovered country, feeding a giraffe in 1974.

I know it’s a joke, but…..
2006-05-19— Posted by: allegra

Baby liposuction

Crunchy goodness
2006-05-19— Posted by: allegra

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHl6QkC9__8

Sorry, no Trollhaven today.
2006-05-19— Posted by: allegra

Wrote another song last night. It’s official. The little bastards are popping out faster than I can write them down.

The garden at Trollhaven
2006-05-18— Posted by: allegra

A stroll through Trollhaven
2006-05-18— Posted by: allegra

People live in that house. We saw them.

I think I’ve heard of Trollhaven
2006-05-18— Posted by: allegra

I simply must see more Trollhaven.
2006-05-18— Posted by: allegra

Really, more Trollhaven?
2006-05-18— Posted by: allegra

Born to be a bouncer, dig that knowing face.

Sorry, more Trollhaven
2006-05-18— Posted by: allegra

What can I say.

David Michael, Whidbey Island Ferry
2006-05-18— Posted by: allegra

We bought two of his CDs.

That was a nice sounding harp.

I didn’t want to visit Baltimore BEFORE I read this.
2006-05-18— Posted by: allegra

http://www.thewbalchannel.com/news/9229472/detail.html

Certain politicians explained
2006-05-18— Posted by: allegra

Certain politicians explained! Chimps mount fecally overwhelming protest. Rain gear strongly recommended.

Fox mollusc trampoline church
2006-05-18— Posted by: allegra

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IdPI50E0Zdo

This juvenile fox spends a happy couple of minutes playing on a trampoline. Very close to the end, you will say to yourself “WTF???” as a large plastic object heaves into view (I have no idea what it is) but it doesn’t detract from the charm of this lovely piece of home video. Thank you thank you Janice for forwarding it. I’m going to leave the link up so Paul can see it when he gets back from running.

Paul’s talking about selling the house again. Heavy sigh. Ruth 1:16-17.

Brother James has forwarded three, count ’em three lovely postcards from his travels in England and Ireland; a castle, Stonehenge, and the Georgian Doors of Dublin, which was actually a poster in a friend’s house that I admired many times and has now turned up in miniature format to adorn my desk. Your taste in postcards continues to rock, Bro James!

L’il Cthu has expressed an interest in coming to work (I checked my calendar, and, by gar, it IS Take Your Squid Overlord Spawn to Work Day – who knew?) so I coaxed it into the Spaced Out Ladies bag (see previous blogs) and it’s now making separation anxiety noises about the chandelier. It somewhat shamefacedly admits that the reason it jumped into the chandelier in the first place was because it was the object that looked most like a squid; this gave me pause, because if he goes for the Squid-resembling objects, I think some of the sales people are in for a more interesting day than their Daytimers would predict. A full report on the Morbid Mollusc later.

Photo copyright 2006 Bell Globemedia Publishing Inc. All Rights Reserved. Forwarded from Sandy.

Kokopelli garden at Trollhaven
2006-05-17— Posted by: allegra

Crest at Trollhaven
2006-05-17— Posted by: allegra

The Dragon’s Gate at Trollhaven, outside Sequim
2006-05-17— Posted by: allegra

The patio at Bread and Roses in Port Townsend
2006-05-17— Posted by: allegra

It’s the damned bug’s fault, Chapitre le deux
2006-05-16— Posted by: allegra

So, blurwise, we drove to the Hoh Valley and took a lot of picatures in the Hall of Mosses (gee mOm, wish you could have been there) and hiked about 2.5 miles up the trail along the river. Took a lot of pictures there too! Which I will post later. It was entirely gorgeous and the weather couldn’t possibly have been improved on.

Then we ate in a diner at Forks, then went back to the Lodge and crashed, had dessert, and crashed. Marionberry Cobbler rules!

Then we got up and went to Sequim, where we visited a flea market, where I got my mOm a belated Beloved Female Progenitor day prezzie, and went to ah, so wonderful to relate, the Oak Table, where I ate YUMMMMMY peach blintzes to the asploding point. Then we had to deke off highway 101 where I had the experience of watching a passerby throw a blanket over a motorcyclist who appeared to be, ah, integumentarily challenged and quite dead; we later found the highway was closed both ways for about two hours.

Then we visited Trollhaven. I am not going to say anything about it – I’ll just post pics.

Then we got on the Whidbey Island ferry and nearly ran out of gas at Deception Pass, and then we drove past the I5 and up Highway 9 instead, which was so thoroughly infested with a combination of RV’s and motorcycles that I felt like I was driving the only car on the road.

The Sumas crossing was ridiculously easy, and so home.

It’s the damned bug’s fault, chapter one
2006-05-16— Posted by: allegra

It’s all the Tomentose Burying Beetle’s fault. After all, had I not seen the beetle crawling cheerfully in front of the door of Cabin 4 at Red Deer Lodge and Campground, I would not have been moved to go to the library back in Toronto to try to get a picture of whatever that bizarre creature was, to try and identify it. The book my search led me to was the Audubon Guide to North American Insects and Spiders, which is where I found it. I promptly bought it. It’s pretty beat up. Then I found a very interesting moth in the meadows of Humber Park, which was not in the insect book. I was in the bookstore at Golden BC attending a family reunion in the early 90’s when I found the Audubon Guide to North American Butterflies and Moths and identified the Ctenuchid Moth, at which point my mania for collecting nature books commenced. Shortly thereafter, I acquired the Reptiles and Amphibians, the simply succulent Geoffrey Kibby’s Mushrooms and Other Fungi; North American Weather, and Mosses, Lichens and Ferns of Northwest North America. I learned that the best Canadian spider book was a government publication long out of print. I got a dinged up hardcover Audubon Field Guide to Birdies. The photo version was the Audubon Western Birds; then the brisk and kick ass Plants of Coastal BC. So that is why I know that the first bug we saw, on the walk to Marymere Falls, is a Flat Red Wood Borer. I didn’t know at the time but I came back home and looked it up. We walked from Lake Crescent Lodge to Marymere Falls. The trail is no more than a mile and leads to a falls of about an 80 foot drop. We saw a lot of trilliums and forget me nots. The walk – I wouldn’t dignify it as a hike – is pretty easy going. Just prior to arriving at the lodge, we saw 3 deer apparently munching on forget me nots. They were completely unconcerned by our presence. After Marymere Falls, the four of us had dinner in the Lodge, which was a lot of fun, in a subdued and calorific sort of way. No loud laughing for me. Next morning we breakfasted at the Lodge, ate like swine and went to Sol Duc Falls. The boys took the longer trail back to the Springs; Janice and I took the car back (and she let me drive, the angel) the last three miles. That put us at Sol Duc Hot Springs in time for me to collect a Sunburn, in Washington State, in May, for the love of Jim Criminy. Sol Duc Hot Springs is delightful and the pool side Deli, fun, friendly and a provider of nourishment as well as junk. Damn, but those fries were good! Thick cut, entirely yummola. —- The trip down started when I saw two bald eagles over the Alex Fraser Bridge – a good omen for a visit to see two Americans. We had the single most charming and untroubled Border interaction possible, let alone likely to spring into existence in my imagination; this comment deleted in response to comments from my lawyer. We got to the ferry with no incident, a bit earlier than planned, but also a bit late for the 12:07…. which still boarded us. I met a man with a Koss inverter. I had no idea Koss made inverters. I was so intrigued I almost asked him to show it to me but our ride was over before I could. We came into the Port of Port Townsend and ate lunch at Bread and Roses. Paul had a carrot ginger soup that rendered him nearly ecstatic when he first ate it. I was in ecstasy myself. I have never eaten in a restaurant with the New York Times Arts Section spread out in front of me on a table that seats 8. Paul was actually lucky to get me out of there. Then we debated going up Hurricane Ridge; both time and weather were against us, so we stuck with the plan. On the way out of town I noticed the Food Co-op and we pulled in for some nourishing deli munchies. Got to the Lodge without incident around four on Thursday. The lichen previously shown is one of about fourteen thousand square meters of the stuff we saw all over the freaking park. There were sheets of it, some as big as 20 cm across, all green on one side and all white on the other. Looked like the cast offs of a molting dragon, by gum. The stuff is called Lobaria oregana. Okay, maybe it doesn’t look like dragon molts, but more like large chunks of disreputable peeled off paint lying in profusion on the forest floor as far as the eyes can see. And stuck up in trees. Much more attractive at the Sol Duc trailhead was a stand of Ptilium Crista-Castrensis. Doesn’t it sound like the name of the mother of all castrating mothers in law? I quote from the Mosses book, for I am all at once unable to best this description, “The rich golden green patches growing in low areas of mesic and montane forests are a pleasure to come across.” This is a sentiment with which I heartily concur. It’s also called Knight’s Plume, and it’s the most beautiful moss I’ve ever seen. Oh, and we had lots more wonderful adventures. Stay tuned for the thrilling Chapter II of It’s the Damned Bug’s Fault.

Zeus is Lord!
2006-05-15— Posted by: allegra

Lichen
2006-05-14— Posted by: allegra

Marymere Falls
2006-05-14— Posted by: allegra

Taken May 11th.

Hall of Mosses, Hoh River Valley
2006-05-14— Posted by: allegra

Taken May 13th.

Why I can’t trust Paul with a camera
2006-05-14— Posted by: allegra

Taken on the way back from Marymere Falls on the 11th.

Why I can’t trust Paul with a camera
2006-05-14— Posted by: allegra

Taken on the way back from Marymere Falls on the 11th.

Off to Lake Crescent Lodge
2006-05-10— Posted by: allegra

So we’re going to the Olympic National Park in the US, a place I have very happy memories of (from when we still had the VW bus, and were still family camping) as we wound our way up the unbelievable road up to Hurricane Ridge.

I won’t be blogging unless I find an internet cafe between now and Sunday night – I’m not planning on blogging tomorrow morning as we are going to have to get out at a fairly early hour.

Another bunch of family videos arrived – I can hardly wait to see them but we’re a leedle pressed for time.

Pic is of where we’re staying – we’ll be in the Roosevelt Lodges. The whole place is a historic site. And the Sol Duc Hot Springs! And the rainforest! Happy sigh.

Keith refused the chance to guest blog, can you credit it. Hugs to all and I will have a full report for you if I get back before ten on Sunday………..

???
2006-05-10— Posted by: allegra

I process credit card transactions all day, and the expiry dates for credit cards seem to be moving closer all the time. I strongly suspect that while the banks are still issuing credit cards with the abandon of drunken film starlets, they are reining in the validity dates.

???
2006-05-10— Posted by: allegra

If you haven’t seen this terminally weird picture, check it out. I think the most disturbing thing about it is the expression on the guy’s face.

http://www.gildlilies.com/pop_ups/phillip_toledano_kaleidoscope.htm

various….
2006-05-10— Posted by: allegra

Katie has now seen her new boyfriend EVERY SINGLE DAY since she and Daxus broke up. Keith was Daxus’ checkout boy last night. The transaction occurred without incident, but Keith was mildly twinged and Katie was majorly pissed that Dax bought 4 CANS OF SPRAYPAINT (all black) so it looks like the tagging rampage will continue. It’s not as if Keith was going to hide this information from Katie, so I can only assume this was all quite deliberate on that poor boy’s part. I feel so sorry for him, now that he’s not making Katie’s life a living hell.

Keith has gone from being really stressed about his job to being quietly pleased about it, and he says he’s honing his observational skills. He says that he can already tell a lot about a family or a person by what goes in the cart.

giggle
2006-05-09— Posted by: allegra

She went to work at Microsoft, and all she got was this going away cake….

I never post jokes but….
2006-05-09— Posted by: allegra

Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome.

One has a cross in front of him. The other one the Star of David.
Many people go by and look at both beggars, but only put money into
the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross. A priest comes by, stops
and watches throngs of people giving money to the beggar behind the 
cross, but none give to the beggar behind the Star of David.

Finally, the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of David and says:
"My poor fellow, don't you understand? This is a Catholic country.
People aren't going to give you money if you sit there with a 'Star of David' in front of you,
especially when you're sitting beside a beggar who has a cross. 
In fact, they probably give to him just out of spite."

The beggar behind the 'Star of David' listened to the priest, turned 
to the other beggar with the cross and said:

"Moishe, look who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing."

Ha ha
2006-05-08— Posted by: allegra

I have an instantiated Darth Vader head, and you don’t. It’s about 4.5 cm tall. I checked around to find out how much it costs to make, and including the electricity, it takes about 4 bucks to make this little puppy. I have no idea how much the machine costs to rent, but it really makes me happy, and now I don’t feel so bad about the Nefertiti head.

Yummy worms
2006-05-08— Posted by: allegra

http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2006/4/30/91945/8971

DO NOT VISIT THIS SITE IF YOU ARE EATING. No kidding!!!! And be glad I didn’t post pix….

The Augean task
2006-05-08— Posted by: allegra

I should mention that the Augean task was the carpet vac’cing of the living room. Even the rinse water was matte black, mit lumpen.

I have written another song.

And it's we two chance met
and with you looking fine 
Maybe we should repair to this bar?
And he held up his hand and said, no, not until
the womenfolk know where we are.

For the women we love
are deserving of care
and they certainly merit a call
He said with a wink, don't let the price of a drink
Send your happy home life for a fall.

So I got to a phone and I begged her to come
and the strangest thing then did occur
She said off with you now, you go have some fun
thanks for letting us know where you were.

I said, US? with a frown, I could hear background noise
And she seemed far too blithe and in tune
She laughed, I'm with the wife of the man that you're with
and we have been drinking since noon.

My lips split with a grin, my heart easy and free
for I know how I'm spending my night
And I will not be troublin', for the Guinness in Dublin
To be home before dawn's golden light.

And it's we two chance met, and with us looking fine
as we sit at our ease at the bar
And drink toast after toast to the wise man who said
Let the womenfolk know where we are!

enough sleep
2006-05-07— Posted by: allegra

I was amused and shamefacedly pleased to learn that one of my songs has “excaped”. I emailed it (the version Gomi recorded with me back in 04) to Jessica D in MP3 format and the next thing I know, there’s about half a dozen teens in the lower mainland listening to it on their MP3 players. Some of them claim to really like it. Katie’s got her lower lip out because she’s part of the background chorus and she would much rather pretend that it never happened. Let us say that I would rather have my songs listened to than not, so the copyright implications don’t particular irk me.

So if you hear somebody you don’t know humming “Crazymaking Boy” you are not imagining things, and when the boys I wrote it for read this I hope they grin. “You are… my hero from a fable, my supper on the table, my ready, willing, able, my Crazymaking Boy.” Oh, and as I recollect, that’s one of the songs that Mick Fleetwood, in digital format, is laying down a drum track on. Ah, digitization. And if you ever hear that song, remember, that’s us singing, so it’s warts and all, no digital correction of our wandering voices. Happy sigh.

Now back to the salt mines. Katie’s buggered off for the second night running to her new boyfriend’s place and so I have no domestic help today except Keith, who, charming lad that he is, brought home the second to latest SIP (www.strangersinparadise.com, and if you aren’t into comix, this is your chance….). But, charming lad that he is, he also has a Bad Toe, so I can’t really lean on him too hard for the Augean task Paul laid on me so casually on his way to work today. Keith’s working his first scheduled shift subsequent to training at 11 am on Monday. I am so pleased I could burst.

On the upside, if Katie doesn’t come home I don’t have to pay her her allowance. The dishes are starting to pile up. I really wish I could repeat what she said about her boyfriend yesterday during the 5 minute period she breezed through here, but it would not be suitable for a family blog.

And Paul, when he’s not ordering me around, continues to be marvellous.

I heart Zoidberg. (Futurama reference. Futurama is a Matt Groening cartoon.)

Slogging away
2006-05-07— Posted by: allegra

Peter down the alley, a charming and elderly gentleman of Italian ancestry, has offered us the use of his south facing garden. We dug out all the dandelions and will be turning the entire thing this week. Then, oh then, Lake Crescent. I can hardly wait. Oh. Just so you know, I won’t be blogging while I’m there as I won’t have access to the inertnets. So don’t expect to hear from me between the 11th and 14th of May…. I’m gonzo.

Red river piggies for my mOm
2006-05-05— Posted by: allegra

Have some piglets. Their forepigs came from Africa, and they like to swim.

I AM SO JEALOUS
2006-05-05— Posted by: allegra

One of the first things they made with the three D instantiator is A MINIATURE HEAD OF NEFERTITI. And PATRICIA GOT IT. I’d better get one of the Darth Vader heads they are whipping off right now Or I Will Be Choked! Rob of 9 even said, That will drive Allegra crazy, and he don’t know how right he is. mOm can you BELIEVE my life right now?

Quite by accident, I found out where the CEO is drinking beer tonight. Evil thoughts occur, even if it’s not my favourite pub.

All is calm and quiet on the domestic front. I’ve gone walking every morning this week since Tuesday, and I’m feeling a little more energetic. Keith cooked eggs in a basket for breakfast for Katie yesterday, and provided me with an HMM (Happy Mom Moment).

Paul continues to be extremely wonderful.

So does Dr. Filk, but BOY does he hate shaving. rrrr.

???
2006-05-05— Posted by: allegra

Porter Goss of the CIA is quitting because of allegations about hanging with hookers? Jumping Jack Flashman, his boss just said that he can break 750 laws while NOT breaking a sweat. Why should some bodily fluids perturb us?

a new kind of woman
2006-05-04— Posted by: allegra

So, this 3D modeller wandered into the building today, and you’d think a new kind of woman had turned up; I’ve never SEEEEEN so many geekulous balding heads hovering in wondrous anticipation. There were TEN GEEKS plus the technician hovered around this. I’ve never seen heterosexual men stand so close together. This critter turns out 3D models by spitting out coloured layers of plastic. Rob of 9 came down to lunch all spattered with an unbecoming amount of riotous pink paint. Yes, life is good in geekville.

enough sleep
2006-05-04— Posted by: allegra

Weird cloud
2006-05-04— Posted by: allegra

I saw this when I went walking this morning – a corkscrew cloud!

No surprise to security aficionados
2006-05-03— Posted by: allegra

http://www.guardian.co.uk/idcards/story/0,,1766266,00.html

Hi Glenn.

Music
2006-05-03— Posted by: allegra

Monday night, Slo-pitch Bluegrass at the ANZA Club; last night the opening Tuesday of the summer Jericho Beach Sailing Club folk night / open stage. All of the music was wonderful and entertaining and I really wished Brooke, Tom and Peggy could have been there.

I performed Lifeline and The Dreaded Tapioca Song.

I have now gone walking two mornings running; while far from being a commitment to better health it is a large number of steps in the right direction.

Daxus came to the house yesterday, was completely bizarre, gave some stuff to Katie, refused to pick up his own stuff, and left without incident.

His tag is “SHAME”, you may have seen it sprayed all over Metrotown, namely, SHAME loves KATIE; SHAME loves KATE. Etc. Keith says it’s all over the freaking place. He successfully completed another half shift at Stuperstore, by the way.

I picked up a sack full of garbage at the track at Cariboo High this am; the Burnaby Parks people opened the washroom at Paul’s request but only the Men’s washroom; which considering there is a unisex disabled can was a bit disconcerting. However, as my experience in San Francisco taught me, any public washroom is better than none, and I am thankful.

I gave a sermon a while back
2006-05-02— Posted by: allegra

Picture my surprise and happiness when I found it on the internet!! Just remember this is the single most complex and intellectually challenging sermon I ever gave, so it’s not exactly a bucket of laughs – although I tried.

The good old days
2006-05-02— Posted by: allegra

This is for Phil.

http://www.cyberspike.com/clarke/beasley.html

test
2006-05-01— Posted by: allegra

I just lost my entire post for this am. It was newsy and chatty. Sigh.

Breathe normally
2006-05-01— Posted by: allegra

I am finally feeling a bit better so it’s off to work.

Katie tried to drive her bf’s RC car under a moving vehicle yesterday, and only the Goddess who looks after cute teenaged girls prevented her from experiencing an expensive crackup. Crikey, I’ve had REAL cars that were worth less than that RC car.

Tom and Peggy fed us. There are many kinds of ministry. Dr. Filk sang an entirely new (to me) song about how cheesed off some people are when folksingers tell people to sing along. The lyrics are hysterical.

Keith traded a Colin Wilson novel for V for Vendetta (the real one, on a temp basis) and frankly I think Tom got the better part of the deal.

The walnut trunk is down. The whole frikkin house shook when it came down. I shouldn’t wonder if it didn’t break the sewer pipe right then. It’s really good walnut and Tom is pleasantly contemplating the furniture that it will be turned into.

RRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEE thump
2006-04-30— Posted by: allegra

Tom L and Paul are having a busy morning. The last of the trees are coming down. Then I get raised beds. Happy sigh.

I know this is copyright protected
2006-04-30— Posted by: allegra

But how the hell can I resist???? Aislin ROCKS.

Happy news
2006-04-29— Posted by: allegra

Even if I continue to feel dreadful (I took yesterday off, as I couldn’t look at a screen or lights and ached from head to foot) I am going to think happy thoughts and relay happy news. Paul cut the phone line yesterday taking down the last of the tree limbs for the walnut tree but it will be fixed today… and I have a wireless modem, as previously reported, so I’m blogging anyway.

Katie’s new beau continues to be charming and friendly and he has a radio controlled car that tops out at about 70k; it was fun watching it blast up and down the culdesac yesterday evening. Then he hauled out his laptop and Keith and Kate and L. watched Unleashed in Kate’s room. Keith starts his new job Monday night and he has to memorize all the Superstore codes for bizarre vegetables between now and then. He has a good start on it and since his memory is pretty good I’ll let him play Final Fantasy 10 for another half hour and then get back to it.

Paul’s off changing the oil in the car.

I have to get back to the usual assortment of life maintenance now; bathroom’s pretty much done and when I sign off I’ll go back to hacking away at the living room.

I owe cousin Vladimir a letter; I don’t know whether to do something really offensive like send him all of my MP3’s of songs I’ve recorded, or something marginally more useful like some of my favourite artists. I was also thinking of doing a “this is my life” series of pix of a typical day in my life, and then laboriously translating it into Russian with the help of one or two Russian speaking friends. Any suggestions?

L’il Cthu refuses to come down from the damned chandelier. One of the pizza slices went missing, so I think he (it?) is coming out to forage at night. Both of the cats seem much more nervous than usual; Kira has taken to hiding in Keith’s room every chance she gets. Maybe this isn’t exactly happy news, but I’ll put a good face on it.

aaaaackkkk! It got away on me
2006-04-27— Posted by: allegra

I dunno. The package was addressed to me, and then this stripy mollusc leaped out, tentacles flailing, and it leaped out of my hands onto the chandelier, and now it refuses to come down. I didn’t like the way it was eyeing the garlic – I suspect its days are numbered……..

I told mOm to knit me a nautilus, and I got this animated little cuss; I was expecting something a little more docile. But now I’m not sure I’d want to do something as potentially risky as SLEEP with it in my bed… it’s not exactly vicious looking but it has a look in its eyes as if the Call of Cthulhu is never far from its mind…..

Miracles do happen
2006-04-27— Posted by: allegra

Milagros Cerron, the mermaid baby I blogged about a year ago, is getting big and strong.

Her first word was “Doctor”.

Keep growing, little miracle!

What kind of month would this be….
2006-04-27— Posted by: allegra

Without a reference to Bettie Page?

and when you’ve got nothing better to do
2006-04-27— Posted by: allegra

http://mootube.com/

Good golly, Miss Moo. This is what the inertnests are for!!!!!

rrrr
2006-04-27— Posted by: allegra

I am very glad that Frank started publishing again – the emag was just not as good as having the paper…

Alan called yesterday. The lucky dog! He and Janice got to walk around in the caldera of an active volcano while they were in Hawai’i. RRR.

Taxes are done! Quicktax is a pretty slick program.

Keith’s toe continues to improve, although it will be a while before he does any more work, which, given that he wants to go to a very heavy duty course, which is expensive, isn’t good. Guess he’s just going to have to sit home and play Final Fantasy 10 until his dad blows a head valve.

Katie had perfect attendance during Term 3. Rub your eyes and go back and read it again.

Katie has a new beau. Menfolks, listen very closely. He brought nitro methane into the house yesterday. You can now dance up and down and say, “Truly, he is one of us.” Oh, it was for his hobby, not for any, uh, anarchic or, uh, property damaging purposes. And I can see you nod your heads and go, uh huh.

I am very grumpy these days and wish I could get over it.

Is the US a Superpower?
2006-04-26— Posted by: allegra

http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article12843.htm

My response to this is simple…. can they lob large quantities of nuclear weapons at people? Check. They are still a superpower. Beware a man with nothing to lose who is cornered with a gun.

Free beer
2006-04-26— Posted by: allegra

Sorry, I’m running at about 1/4 speed because I don’t pass up on free beer when the company is paying. I’m going to be late for work because crackheads were arguing in front of the house and you really don’t want to get any of that on you. Magnificent set of lungs on that woman.

Keith dropped a pallet on his toe yesterday but he didn’t break it. I think he got a reminder about steel toed boots…. he wasn’t wearing any.

Katie continues to be radiantly happy. Paul is still the best man on earth. Everything’s just fine, except that, like I said, my brain isn’t working this am.

Taxes & Taxi
2006-04-25— Posted by: allegra

Paul and I have been hacking our way through our taxes. We should be done Wednesday night; I’ve got a hall pass to go drinking with my coworkers tonight after the confererererence. Sounds like I have a good start on it already. I also have a medical appointment today, and while I remember where and who, I can’t remember when, so I am feeling rather sorry for Paul, who’s going to have to play Dad’s Taxi most of the day.

I am really really tired. I went to bed relatively early but I woke up at about quarter after four and Paul was awake so we got talking. I am now at the stage of wakefulness when your bed is singing your name in doo-wop harmony; but I will make some tea and hopefully configure myself in the general shape of a working stiff and go do the thang.

Lest we forget
2006-04-24— Posted by: allegra

A million people took to the streets in Nepal this past week, defying the curfew, defying the government, and showing solidarity in their demands for a republic. This pic is from Phalano.com and shows women marching.

Kinaam, lizard of mystery
2006-04-24— Posted by: allegra

So, she laid a bunch of eggs…. 2 years after the last time she had sex. So either she was storing the sperm up until conditions were perfect, or her babies are parthenogenetic. I look at that face, that tongue, those scales and I’m a-thinking parthenogenesis gets my vote.

Warning, racism alert
2006-04-24— Posted by: allegra

Last night I dreamed I was jammed into a school gymnasium with a bunch of complete strangers. We were all sitting around on benches with those long cheap auditorium tables and food was about to come in. Somebody said, Allegra, Allegra, say a prayer. I barked “Theists, look at your plates. Humanists, do a Chinese fire drill.”

Then I woke up. What the hell was that supposed to mean? and if I had it to do again, I’d say Anarchist Fire Drill.

When you need a little push to get going
2006-04-24— Posted by: allegra

Vespers
2006-04-23— Posted by: allegra

It’s actually Rachmaninoff’s All Night Vigil, but people call it Vespers; anyway, it was a really good time according to Paul; I didn’t talk to Keith about it because I crashed super early. I am tired all the time these days and I start turning into a pumpkin around 9:30, although I don’t seem to have any problem getting up in the morning.

Kira is sitting in the plant room window looking decorative, and Zeek tried to pee in my plant containers, the little bugger. Time to move everything outside.

This is the guy who played Richard….
2006-04-22— Posted by: allegra

For the Dorothy Dunnett Reenactment at Academie Duello. His name is Randy Packer, and he’s damned good.

Duel
2006-04-22— Posted by: allegra

The duel consists of two men; each is armed with a dagger and a long sword. Soon we leave to go shopping and get Keith signed up at Superstore. Then we head downtown…. then we go to Mike and Tori’s and then Keith and Paul are going to Rachmaninoff Vespers with Chor Leoni. Ah. A day filled with Kultur…. Now I’m thinking of a quote, but I’m not gonna go there………..

More later, if I am spared.

Fabulous news
2006-04-21— Posted by: allegra

http://research.binghamton.edu/discovere/discovere%20files/TopStories/Jessica1.htm

Our departmental motto
2006-04-21— Posted by: allegra

Is now either FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!

OR, Let’s throw ourselves from that bridge when we cross it.

Off to Academie Duello tomorrow
2006-04-21— Posted by: allegra

I will be reporting in more detail upon my return, but in the meantime….. Duelling Zombies

Weird dream
2006-04-21— Posted by: allegra

Last night I dreamed that Paul and Keith and Katie and I went shopping and they were selling the frozen leg of a small child. Me and my family were the only people in the store who found it odd. Immediately after, two guys in a chuck wagon robbed the store. There were two large pumpkins in the back, and the cops were following, slowly, with their sirens on, while the two guys up front were yelling, Hyah! Obviously I couldn’t sleep any more after I woke up from that.

Not much to report
2006-04-21— Posted by: allegra

Had a long long chat with my ex-husband Phil last night. It was great to talk to him and catch up on all the family news. He is FINALLY going to get on line (I’ve been grousing at him about it for years) and I told him he’s got about two years of my bl0g to catch up on, lucky him. I am picturing him tripping over some of the stuff I’ve said in my blog that he’s probably the only other person on earth who would “get”, so that’s a fine prospect.

Katie writes the English Provincial she slept through last time this morning; she’s crippled from three days of Phys Ed so I massaged her for about half an hour last night. Apart from that, work, laundry and sleeping, I’ve not been doing much.

I did manage to find the complete works of the Carter Family for $40 US freight included yesterday, and I’m thinking of ordering it as one of the songs on it is one that cousin Laurel wants us to sing at the family reunion in July.

I am the eggman
2006-04-20— Posted by: allegra

very very funny. Helps if you can hum the tune in your head.

http://decider.cf.huffingtonpost.com/

Go here, click Watch This Movie
2006-04-20— Posted by: allegra

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/307402

And watch a verrrrry commie Mario do this thing.

Brayden’s home…..
2006-04-19— Posted by: allegra

What just happened?
2006-04-19— Posted by: allegra

One of the things Paul dislikes about me is the way I answer surveys.

If he’s not around to pound my head in, I answer every survey that comes my way. What he doesn’t understand is that surveys are not an interruption of my life, but an opportunity to vote with my big loud obnoxious opinions about everything. So I’ve been an EVox panelist (internet surveys for one of the big Canadian Survey companies) for, like, almost seven years. I’ve faithfully filled out every survey they’ve ever sent me (this is 50 or 60 surveys, at this point), including “How do you feel about this revamped government website?” all the way to “Which creams for vaginal itching do you use most frequently?” (Answer… topical application of prostaglandins works best for me, thanks….).

And of course they tell you that you’ll be entered in a draw for 1000 buckadingdongs if you enter but I’ve never so much won a toothpaste coupon.

So when they said, fill out this survey for a chance at free wireless internet, I thought, Bloody Hell Then, That’s a Likely Story, and filled it in. AND THEY’RE SENDING ME A FREE WIRELESS MODEM. I get free wireless internet for the next 6 months and if I like it I keep it and otherwise I ship it back. The bloody modem is worth $250 right there. I can hardly wait to tell Paul. From the time I started the survey to the time I got my order confirmation was about, uh, 20 minutes. Zowie!

Side note, unrelated, to Leo…. got the disk of pix, thanks, and I’ve now viewed them. The beach walks are glorious!

Lots of news
2006-04-19— Posted by: allegra

Hm, there’s so much good news that I don’t know where to start. Closest to my heart is the news that Tom L found (after some labor) the lyrics to a song I wrote in 2004, which means that I am that one step closer to having everything in order for my Pile O Songs. How he had it and I didn’t is perhaps emblematic of my (until recently) haphazard and disrespectful attitude towards my own ooooovre.

Keith applied to Superstore and goes to sign paperwork for employment on Saturday, to start training in early May. If all my hopes are not cheated, this will mean that ALL THREE of the adult males in my household are union employees.

John got to work at the docks all right, but there was a grisly cost; to get into the respirator he had to shave his beard. Jumpin Jack Flash Animation but he’s scary with his beard off…. all that fish belly white skin below (ed. Knock it off).

Mario gave me chocolate, which I shared with Patricia and Scott and Katie and Rob of 9.

I fired up Quick Tax 2005 and just as an experiment did Keith’s taxes. Seldom has 15 minutes of labor been so rewarded; while Keith zoned out in front of Final Fantasy 10, I put $384 back in his pocket. Keith is definitely living the life of Riley these days.

Paul found locally made unsweetened Peanuttella at the Perestroika Bakery.

And.

and…..

AND!!!!

I FOUND THE CHAIN!!!!!

It will be waiting for Paul when he, like a good thing, comes back from running with Peggy.

And Brayden’s coming home, goofy grin with a side of misty eyes.

from Gerald
2006-04-18— Posted by: allegra

I’m still at work right now, but couldn’t to get home to tell you this………..

Brayden is coming home today!!!!!

I’ll try and get some more pictures as soon as I can and send them to you.

Cheers

Grandpa Gerald

It’s the Year of the Tiger… no, the Year of the Pig!
2006-04-18— Posted by: allegra

Hot tub all moved
2006-04-18— Posted by: allegra

Well, the frame on the hot tub won’t take another move, but we got the beggar set up in Mike’s soon-to-be-new digs around the corner from us here in East Burnaby. Tom U., Brian, Ian, Trent, Paul, me, Keith and John helped Mike move it using Trent’s trailer.

It’s misting so hard outside that the rain is coming down as slowly as wet snow. Gosh, we’ve had a lot of weather lately.

John actually got a job lead from the Boilermaker’s Union – there is power in the Union, all right. But he had to report to the docks at 7 am so that kinda sucks. Katie’s taking PE this term and LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. This is like saying that Brigitte Bardot has taken up taxidermy, but whatever.

I light a candle for a trip to Hawaii by some friends…. the lucky stiffs! Have fun guys!

I ate tripe last night by accident
2006-04-17— Posted by: allegra

Gah. It showed up in my pho. I ate around it after I figured out it wasn’t a bizarre noodle. Texturally it comes close to being the most grotesque thing I ever ate, although I supposed if it was all I had to sustain my worthless existence I’d chow down with fervour.

However it was good to meet Mike’s “Crazy Friend Emil” and hang with Tori as well.

Keith had a simply dreamy time at the con and played Munchkin and laser tag. Paul sounds like he had a good time; haven’t read the con reports yet….

Three more songs in the mail. Or is that four? Productive weekend, anyway.

Hail
2006-04-16— Posted by: allegra

It hailed with unbelievable fury last night. Katie and I were sitting at the kitchen table around 10:30 and we started to hear pinging noises (which was hail echoing through the stove fan ductwork) and said, “What the hell?”

Then I got up like my tailfeathers wuz afire and ran outside to pick some flowers, while Katie watched, giggling her face off, as I needed flowers for today’s flower communion at church and the way the hail was coming down I didn’t think the daffs would make it. Yes, I’m going to church today, how nutty.

The hail lasted for about twenty minutes and came in three waves, and was completely unlike any other hail I’ve ever seen. It was essentially dense snow, about pea size, up to lima bean size, and did not bounce when it hit the ground. The noise was like shrapnel falling all around, it was really intense.

Apart from church, no plans today except seeing Emil, Mike’s friend from the Yukon, for pho tonight.

Finished Like a Drum. I find if I don’t actually finish the song in one day I get really crabby about going back to a song I’m halfway through. Although, I must admit- when I, sighing with frustration, went back to All The Con Men I Have Known, I was pleasantly surprised how close it was to being accurate. I think the next one will be My Version of the Golden Rule, which is only four lines long and quite unapologetically vulgar…. like many of my songs.

Performed the Tapioca Song for Jim and Jan yesterday morning. Katie was horrified to start her day with my caterwauling her least favourite opus of my oooovre.

Mike and Tori visited last night. It was wonderful to see them.

Paul and Keith are back late tonight.

Daxus could have stayed here last night but he left around ten.

I now have two hours to get clean and maybe crank out a brief tune and then mail it to mOm.

Public service
2006-04-15— Posted by: allegra

I’m sorry, but you can’t say anything bad to me about Mormons ANY MORE. LDS ladies knit these sweaters for fairy penguins, who have survived an oil spill. Aren’t the sweaters adorable? And the penguins too, of course.

Without caffeine….
2006-04-15— Posted by: allegra

Would life still be worth living? Pic is a caffeine molecule, scanged from SFF.net.

Happy feeding noises
2006-04-15— Posted by: allegra

Had Maggie and Glenn, Jim, Jan and Nita over for dinner last night. Ah, so yummy! Paul barbecued chicken and pork to absolute succulent perfection, and prepped the brussel sprouts. (First barbecue of the season is always so wonderful, and Paul had an intensely campfire aroma for snuggles last night, which is not offputting in the slightest.) I put together the spaghetti squash, the salad and the taters; I love trotting out to the back yard to harvest chives, it’s a wonderful feeling, thank you neighbour Cleo.

I am now sitting amidst the pointy knives of perplexity; in a hissy fit, I mislocated something belonging to Paul, and now I have absolutely no clue what I did with the chain he ordered for Dick’s (down the alley neighbour) chainsaw. I foresee a $40 charge to my credit card shortly, because Katie and Paul and I have torn the house apart looking for it and it’s, like, gone. What the hell could I have done with it? I mean, I hid it GOOD and proper.

Paul and Keith departed for Seattle and Norwescon less than an hour ago – the weather is drippy but not disgusting so they should have an okay trip.

Jan and Jim are here and we’re waiting for the Camembert to warm up. Aren’t we just sitting in the lap of luxury.

Maggie brought grandchild pix – Jonathan is three weeks old. And gorgeous, really. (I commented THANK GOD a real boy’s name instead of the assortment of showbizzy monikers helpless children get slandered with these days (and Gerald, I like the name Brayden, so relax!!)) Seems like mom and babe and pop are all doing well, so I’m happy.

Glenn is amused and pleased to see that I am now a Dead Like Me fan.

Had an interesting customer service epiphany yesterday. I got the midi /USB cable and got it running virtually instantly. Then my playback… disappeared. Nothing in the headphones. Played a .wav file to ensure that it wasn’t just the headphones…. and it played back fine. Uh-oh….. software issue! Allegra mucks with it and mucks with it for what seemed an eternity and was possibly half an hour, getting increasingly panicky, and then SPROING, I recollect that there is a website, and a Knowledge Base, so I go to the website, and in two clicks and four characters I’m looking at the solution to my problem, which was that I had the playback on MIDI and not the synthesizer built into the computer. No, duh!!! ‘course it makes perfect sense once somebody tells you what’s happening.

Then I thought about the website at work….. and realized we are doing things horribly horribly wrong with respect to the FAQ section. I need to be the change I want to see in my company’s website. See how my ambitions have fallen from changing the world to just making little bits of information easier to get at.

Oh, the dessert! Maggie brought a WONDERFUL hazelnut mousse cake and we were all explosively full afterwards.

Found out that Dax walked across Burnaby in the pouring rain to get here the night we got the rude awakening; he had good reasons to leave where he was so I have muchly calmed down. I wish I could get Buddha injections and then maybe I wouldn’t always assume the worst.

Well, off to find the chain. It’s gotta be here someplace. Sigh.

Pic is of a Tango T600 electric commuter vehicle. Frankly my dear, I’d rather have a motorcycle; a fully enclosed skateboard has remarkably little appeal.

Urban Combat Skateboard?
2006-04-14— Posted by: allegra

Orderly systems need chaos to survive
2006-04-14— Posted by: allegra

Is it too much to ask an uncaring universe that distraught boyfriends NOT come over at 4 in the f*cking morning? Katie got up at 8, did the dishes as a Parental Countermeasure, and then went back to bed. Daxus is still here and asleep.

Paul’s doing his yoga. I couldn’t even sit in easy position without pain – same for kneeling – and gave up and made, what else, coffee. I react very badly to Paul sounding all calm and unruffled and quiet as he’s addressing me about the yoga – it’s like he’s talking to a wild animal or a retarded child. Which of course is not what he’s doing, it’s how I’m reacting.

Had an amazing family flying dream last night. We were in a six place flying boat that travelled between an Olympian castle and a very interesting everything looking like something from a Tarot deck and made out of stone style town on a shore – I was in the city with Katie and Paul and Keith came and landed on the water and picked us up – hauled us out of a shop that sold interesting objects – picture the Magic Box done up Mediaeval Babes style. Apparently it’s much harder to fly back up to the castle; we picked up a very tall, very broad and very dark pilot for the return trip, which involved flying through a holographically projected cliff. While everybody around me was stifling giggles (the pilot didn’t even acknowledge me) I kept saying, “ExCUSE me, we’re flying into a CLIFF”. Then we flew through the projection and landed at the castle. Very nice dream. And ever so apropos.

seriously ugly dogs
2006-04-13— Posted by: allegra

Jumping Jimmy Criminy!

These are UGLY DOGS.

http://www.sonoma-marinfair.org/uglydogvote.shtml

Great moments in headlines
2006-04-13— Posted by: allegra

Eco friendly auto
2006-04-13— Posted by: allegra

In Finland, they have the Eco Friendly Auto Club, and here, for your edification and amazement, is a WOOD BURNING BUICK.

The Dalai Jarmo (pron Yarmo) forwarded the pic.

Scanged from

http://www.ekoautoilijat.fi/tekstit/kalustoesittely.htm

It’s Here
2006-04-13— Posted by: allegra

After all my whizzing and moaning about the midi / USB cable, it’s here and it works. Phew.

Keith and Paul have decided to go to Norwescon; I’m gonna hang around here and attempt to get enough sleep.

Hot tub moving party Monday night! Be there, or don’t get a chance to soak.

I light a candle for Janice, who has an eye bobo.

I light a candle for Dr. Filk and Brooke and their gig at Norwescon.

Must fly, Paul wants the car today so he’s driving me in a bit early.

Close your eyes and think of Aruba…..
2006-04-12— Posted by: allegra

Now open your eyes and look at this.

Photo credit Tammy.

happy girl
2006-04-12— Posted by: allegra

Keith’s at work (temp), Paul’s asleep, Katie’s at Suzanne’s and all is right with the world.

There is nothing like a long talk with an old friend to make the world a better place. Hugs to all, I’m off to work.

Dead Like Meville
2006-04-11— Posted by: allegra

We’re still in Dead Like Meville but it would probably be a good thing if I got back to my song recording. I just don’t feel like it. I ordered a Midi cable from Musician’s Friend in the US and found out AFTER they got my money that despite the fact it was a stock item, it would be eight weeks before I saw it; they wait to consolidate an entire pallet for Canada before they ship from their third party warehouse. Now, anybody from work reading this will be struck with both the horror and irony of this reason for shabby service; but of course I can’t actually start complaining about work because that might affect the share prices. Speaking of which, the stock peeked up over a certain dollar value recently, so one wag at work opined that the reason we were doing plumbing repairs at Head Office was that we were now “flush”. Ayuh. I really have nothing to complain about, when you factor in the co-workers.

Fake news
2006-04-10— Posted by: allegra

http://www.alternet.org/mediaculture/34634/

This is not news to the more paranoid of my readers.

Who owns what in the media
2006-04-10— Posted by: allegra

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/cool/giants/index.html

lOOk no further for Xmas prezzies
2006-04-10— Posted by: allegra

http://www.toyvault.com/montypython/index.html

A Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch of MY VERY OWN!!! LIFE is GOOD.

Mother dear Mother
2006-04-10— Posted by: allegra

Please knit me a nautilus

No need to cuss

Just knit me a nautilus

I want one, I want two

I want three or four

And when these demands are met

I’ll make some more.

Hail, citizen
2006-04-10— Posted by: allegra

I am now legally entitled to apply for the license to own both restricted and non-restricted firearms.

Although we didn’t have a graduation ceremony, the family elder remarked, “There are two classes of people. There are those who are willing to bear arms and there are serfs.”

I actually said J as in Jesus to a customer, but I was just repeating back what he said to me.

I have a big headache.

I am really looking forward to my long weekend upcoming.

enough sleep
2006-04-09— Posted by: allegra

Paul went running this am.

We’re off to finish the gun safety course shortly, and I’ll probably post more on the subject later.

Dave D from back in Ontario sent me a wonderful literary blog link and I had to drag myself away from it thinking oooops, haven’t posted yet.

Mike and Tori were here last night, it was good to see them.

Projectiles
2006-04-08— Posted by: allegra

Loading and unloading a pump action shotgun is the best thing that’s happened to me lately. I am enjoying myself, obviously. Lots of other stuff is happening; I just can’t describe any of it.

From Danny Schechter’s blog
2006-04-07— Posted by: allegra

I will close with a comment by the late TV News executive Reven Frank who said, The business of giving people what they want is the dope pusher’s argument. News is something people don�t know they are interested in until they hear about it. The job of a journalist is to take what’s important and make it interesting.

A, uh, prank from Brooks AB
2006-04-07— Posted by: allegra

Somebody did this to a friend….. can you imagine coming home and finding this sign on your lawn? The buggers put it in with concrete….

TV trance
2006-04-07— Posted by: allegra

Well, I wish I could claim that I tore off a couple of new songs last night, helped my daughter with her homework, my son with his career planning and found a cure for cancer growing in my front yard, but I didn’t.

I watched 6, yes, ow, 6 episodes of Dead Like Me. I laughed my ass off, what a great show. SO transGRESSive… And then I cried, too. I am such a suck. The scene in the airport just about killed me, I laughed so hard, and when George’s mom kicks her off the front steps of her old house I cried.

Somebody is attempting to reinstitute the old company camping trip. As I have said repeatedly and publicly, I’m going to go unless I’m in traction.

Gun safety course this weekend.

Crap, it’s time to go get on the bus. I am so used to getting a lift into work it’s like I’ve forgotten how to read a bus schedule. Keith’s gone already…. he’s getting off early so he can go to the open house at BCIT.

I light a candle for Paul, who is wonderful, and for Tori, who’s coming over this evening. Also for Rob W to remember to bring back Disc 1 of Firefly, the natives are getting restless.

All heck is busting loose
2006-04-06— Posted by: allegra

I feel like the eye of a hurricane right now. I am perfectly happy and healthy, and enjoying the spring flowers, and it’s thunderbolts, volcanoes and hard cheese for everybody else. So I am being very loving and remembering the words of the sage:

Life is like a cloud of mist

emerging from a mountain cave

and death

a floating moon

in its celestial course

If you think too much

about the meaning they may have

You’ll be bound forever

Like an ass to a stake

disorder in the court
2006-04-05— Posted by: allegra

http://news-info.wustl.edu/tips/page/normal/6845.html

Bird flu in cats, redux
2006-04-05— Posted by: allegra

The first cases of H5N1 among cats were reported in Thailand in 2004, when 14 out of 15 cats in a household near Bangkok became ill and died after eating an infected chicken carcass. Infections were then identified among leopards and tigers fed on poultry at Thai zoos. In Europe, cases have recently been confirmed among domestic cats in Germany and Austria.

Dr Osterhaus said it was also clear that infection is prevalent among domestic cats in countries where bird flu is endemic such as in Thailand, Iraq and Indonesia.

In the last of these, the feline version of the disease has its own name: “It is sufficiently well known to have been given an onomatopoeic name in the local Javanese dialect � �aargh-plop�,” he said.

Mother dear Mother
2006-04-05— Posted by: allegra

Please knit me a squid

I am your kid

So knit me a squid

Don’t worry about what I do

Or curse what I did

Because if you love me

You’ll knit me a squid.

The music of the spheres
2006-04-05— Posted by: allegra

I always thought it would be nice. But if you take one Johannes Kepler theory, one contemporary nerd with time on his hands, and a music program, you get this: http://members.aol.com/alwaycomp/Kepler.mp3

It definitely sounds spacey, but nice it is not. Hey, I wonder if I can get this in a ring tone?

Just for you
2006-04-05— Posted by: allegra

Sometimes I run pictures or mention things that have meaning to a vanishingly small number of people. However, this picture goes off in a lot of directions.

I grew up with Mad Magazine. That means that from the time I could talk, comic artists as great as Sergio Aragones were part of my visual thesaurus. I also grew up with musical comedy. I’ve always been fascinated by transsexuality; I bought Jan Morris’ Conundrum as soon as it came out in paperback, and I still think it’s one of the best written bios EVAH; and, of course, I know Sandy.

I never met Arn Saba, the limner of this comic. However, Sandy knew him, and even gave me a Neil the Horse button once, which had the deathless tag, “Making the world safe for musical comedy.” Now Arn is a woman named Katherine living in the US. And this pic is for Sandy, because the roots go everywhere.

I light a candle for Janice. I light a candle for Tori. I light a candle for Brooke, who won a filkwriting songtest. That is so weird…. I just typed that without really thinking about it, and I think I’ll just hit the old stet button. I light a candle for Keith, who’s working temp again, but has taken the liberty of going over to a different agency for better work and more money (learning how to wear capitalistic drag is hard for my little revolutionary in training….)

One loofah, and one jalapeno, sprouted. Everything else is growing at a tremendous rate.

I light a candle for Katie, who is having a heck of a time memorizing her lines for Drama. Sigh. They keep adding stuff and there’s less than a week to go. I told her not to get angry… this is what real freaking life is like!

This is going to sound insane, but my boss is out of town, and I miss him. I will try hard not to set anything on fire, or put any beans up my nose, while he’s gone.

I light a special unscented candle to grow fast and strong for little Brayden!

Heavy sigh
2006-04-04— Posted by: allegra

I have nothing to say, but if I don’t post SOMETHING my mother worries. Oh. I guess I have one small small piece of news. I finished another song. An Evening of Serious Drinking now exists in sheet music form.

Lazy day
2006-04-03— Posted by: allegra

Saw A Very Long Engagement with the kids yesterday and LOVED IT. I will definitely be putting that one back in the pile to see again. Also watched O Brother Where Art Thou for the uncountableth time when Casey was here for dinner on Saturday. So yesterday was a lazy day. Seeing as how the phone system crashed on Friday, it is interesting to speculate what horrors await at work.

Newest family member
2006-04-02— Posted by: allegra

Here’s Cousin Gerald holding Brayden, his first and most beloved grandchild. Happy sigh.

Giddily happy
2006-04-01— Posted by: allegra

I am happy to report, with a giddy and empyrean glee, that Keith and Kate and Cousin Lexi and Rob went to the opening night of Slither…. only to find that NATHAN FILLION, Captain Tightpants himself, was in the audience watching it with his girlfriend. (She is tiny, and very very cute.) Nathan was wearing a hoodie and jeans.

Katie phoned me to boast that she had seen them but the phone cut out in a burst of static.

THEN Lexi took them to a French Restaurant (Katie, “Mom, the menu was ENTIRELY in French…. and they CHANGE it EVERY DAY.”) as part of her ongoing effort to expose the kids to somet’ing besides sushi and cheeseburgers. Kate had minced steak with garlic and herbs and Keith had chicken with peppercorns… I know, because they got doggie bags. The horrors of a Scottish ancestry!!

Paul is continuing to behave like a newlywed husband (indulgent and goo goo eyed). I canNOT say I am displeased. There hasn’t been a harsh word between us in a week, it’s utterly bizarre.

The last movie Lexi worked on was Slither, so I raise a coffee to toast her most excellent career coda.

Grr argh
2006-03-31— Posted by: allegra

Keith blew off Karate last night and came home after Katie went to bed (?!) having blown his brains out on Warcraft. He’s paying for the Karate so if he wants to blow it off that’s his headache but of course much parental tsk tsking this morning.

My boss announced a long overdue project, deadline today at 10 am, and as I drew breath to complain about the timeline, he explained, in the brisk tones of a man trying to cram as much as possible in before his own execution, what HE was up against. Seldom have I been so effectively and efficiently reduced to docility…. as I sourly remarked to hubby this morning. I deserved it, and now am clean, shiny, and ready to work on something I should have already done…. more later. I’m actually in a pretty good mood.

Katie and I played cribbage last night. I beat her by 2 POINTS. I never beat her – she’s evil with the discards, that girl. It was astonishing to win at all.

Beer and whining
2006-03-30— Posted by: allegra

Big shout out to Steve and Mike, two of my fave cow-irkers, for our mutual therapy session at the hotel bar last night. I started out the discussion with What Are the 3 Biggest Irritants about Work right now, and a couple of hours and two jugs of beer later we had mapped out a strategy for bringing our legitimate concerns to a higher level. No, really. It WAS a work meeting; but there are some things that just go better with beer.

A very huggy, special shout out to Paul, who is a simply magnificent human being, and has demonstrated thoughtfulness, generosity of spirit and good humour in such a wonderful way to me and to others in our family/extended family over the last weeks. I am blessed to have him as such an important person in my life. Happy sigh.

Keith’s out looking for work (despite having an interview Monday), Katie is freaking out about her drama presentation, John is visiting rellies back east, Pokey is being very affectionate, and life is perrrrrty darned good right now.

Resisting temptation
2006-03-29— Posted by: allegra

Those of you who are shacking/married know that sometimes you will share with your spouse a joke which is not, uh, shareable with the great mass of people. Such was the case last night. Suffice it to say Paul and I got a good laugh out of it, and that I am in a calm and friendly state of mind today as Paul donated about half hour of desperately required massage. (I worked on his scalp and face). I am really really happy he’s off nights; I miss my teddy bear when he’s not there.

Katie took her boyfriend for coffee the other day (having learned she still had money in her account!). I covered off the dishes for her last night so she could do homework.

Last night I dreamed that I lived in a city made of books. I also dreamed that I found a musical instrument (weird looking critter, like a 16 string cittern made of black composite), and once I found out that it was something I could play on I started singing “Lifeline” – and everybody else started singing something else even louder and I attacked them. Like, physically; like, ripping their shirts up and pounding on them. How…. childish. I was displeased with my dream-self.

Got a postcard (Rolling Stones, Exile on Main Street) from my ex-husband yesterday. I should write him back.

My loofahs haven’t germinated. I wonder how long it takes; nothing but a couple of Jalapenos and the sugar beets and flax have come up. The tobacco is stubbornly sitting this one out as well, and after I bought nice big decorative pots for them, the ingrates.

Keith is still coughing but a little better every day.

enough sleep
2006-03-28— Posted by: allegra

Couldn’t sleep until 1:30 last night. Richard Fleischer died the day before yesterday. As a memorial, we watched Red Sonja, one of THE WORST movies I ever saw in the theatre, and really, we should have watched 20,000 Leagues under the Sea, as that *was* his magnum opus. Kirk Douglas, who had the world’s sweetest ass at the time, dancing around in front of a bunch of appreciate sailors!? happy squee.

labour unrest
2006-03-27— Posted by: allegra

From the Blenz on Robson……

More things you don’t want to know
2006-03-27— Posted by: allegra

Whatever you do, don’t google image adipocere, like I did, like a butthead, yesterday. I know there are a lot of CSI fans out there, but there are some things you just don’t want to know. I also watched a time lapse film of a pig decomposing. I know mOm is a pig fan, but there are limits, so I am not providing the link. Sic transit gloria internet.

Paul and I bailed on Carly’s game about halfway through the second half – it was raining pretty steady, although not particularly hard, and I was soaked through on the back of my neck. I wasn’t particularly cold, which I owe to the fact that I hauled wood and brush for about an hour and a half before we left – my core temperature was a-boiling, for sure – and now there’s only minor cleanup left in the yard (which of course consists of pick up sticks – it’s time to get out the rake). Standing next to the walnut tree and watching it weep – it’s crying (unlike the cherry or the pear) with a steady rain of green tears – almost made me burst into tears as well.

Does anybody want holly seedlings? I have three holly seedlings, planted by birds pooping off the top of the side yard fence, and they can’t stay there for more than another two weeks as that’s when the beds are going in. Pic is of Jan, me (in a highly characteristic, front end loader kinda pose) and Jim. It hasn’t started to rain real hard quite yet. I’m also posting this pic to demonstrate to my mother that I actually wear my Jayne hat in public.

One thing after another
2006-03-26— Posted by: allegra

Katie’s doing dishes (!), mOmandpOp watched the Buffy Musical episode last night and liked it (!!), Paul says he’s doing okay on three hours sleep (Nice try, don’t believe him) and Carly has a soccer game this afternoon that we are going to try to get to. Keith is still working on a strep throat; I don’t care as long as he doesn’t give it to me. John is off in Ontario filking up a storm and I am trying to recover from reading the entire Xenogenesis trilogy in what was essentially four extended reads over two days.

Other than policing up the lawn today and seeing Carly’s game I have no plans.

Has anybody noticed that global climate change has hit the big time!? Front of Time, all over the place….

I’ve posted the link before, but if you want the sober, science climate change news explained for peeps, go to http://www.realclimate.org/. I recently tripped over http://peakoildebunked.blogspot.com/ which is a very interesting blog indeed, and a nice antidote for Apocalyptic attitudes. He’s dead wrong about a lot of things, but his recent post about energy conservation as an Olympic sport was pretty entertaining & informative. Having problems with allergies? Check out http://goalsuccess.typepad.com/goaltips/2006/03/how_to_nuke_you.html (I especially like the disclaimers). I’ll see if I can get some pics from the game and post them later……

Baby Hippo, Henry Doorly Zoo
2006-03-25— Posted by: allegra

Spa day
2006-03-24— Posted by: allegra

Avocado scrub…. I’d show the pic of Katie but I don’t have her permission.

Lazy day
2006-03-24— Posted by: allegra

After my extremely wearing week I decided to take the day off.

Keith is playing Prince of Persia, Kate’s asleep, Paul’s off running and I’m trying to think about what order we’re going to do our Spa Day stuff in. I actually got one of those facial steam/manicure set combos at London Thugs, I mean Drugs, yesterday. So we’re going to do the manicure, pedicure, salt scrub, facial blah blah blah thing, and then head over to the salon to get our hairs trimmed.

Paul’s off to Delta to help Mike M with his plane. All in all it should be a lovely lazy day, exactly what I need after this week.

Monday I was the only person in the call center. Everybody else called in sick – four other people. I find it entertaining and odd that after learning that I’ll be off the phones in six months or so I get blindsided with being the Thin Blue Line of customer service for an entire day. Funnier still was how I ended up at work half an hour early. These things are sent to try us. Anyway, I’m going to take my eyes off this computer screen and give myself a rest from the phosphor dot glare for a while.

apparently there’s a couple unaccounted for
2006-03-23— Posted by: allegra

It’s not clear yet, but there may be a couple missing from the ferry sinking.

My sugar beets
2006-03-23— Posted by: allegra

The sugar beets are coming up! They are very cute.

Roundup
2006-03-22— Posted by: allegra

This snake was found in the women’s can in Sydney Airport. I know a lot of people who are scared shitless of snakes, so I’d say a washroom is a good place to see one.

William Shatner, one of the world’s greatest ecktors, was born on this day many many many years ago.

Organlegging is alive and well in New Jersey… NOW I know what happened to Jimmy Hoffa, he got carved up for skin grafts…. The snake, please!!!

scroll down to the header Best lovers?
2006-03-22— Posted by: allegra

http://www.newsdissector.org/blog/

Then read the comment on the difference between Democrats and Republicans as lovers. That gave me the best laugh I’ve had in ages.

Ferry sinking part II
2006-03-22— Posted by: allegra

Another Classic Canadian Accident (TM)
2006-03-22— Posted by: allegra

Picture copyright John Harvey. The Queen of the North sank off the coast of BC last night. Nobody died. In the next post, I’ll show the map with the red star showing the location of most of the survivors. It was blowing about 75k and choppy; no word on why she went aground. As for it being another Classic Canadian Accident (TM), that’s where there’s millions of dollars of property damage and no injuries, something that seems to happen A LOT in Canada.

wHOOOO ARE YOU?
2006-03-21— Posted by: allegra

From Cousin Gerald, by way of a friend.

sundry and various
2006-03-21— Posted by: allegra

Paul’s off to Seattle; Katie has a chest cold (again); I’m still recovering from yesterday’s work surprise (all 4 agents in the Call Center called in sick, you’re it, alone, SURPRISE!); Keith is starting the job hunt again.

I’m off to see Tori tonight; she’s back from Glasgow and I’m sure she has a million stories.

The things you see at Save-On
2006-03-20— Posted by: allegra

Photo credit Dave D.

Be nice to Keith
2006-03-20— Posted by: allegra

He was let go from his job today. (Not customer service oriented enough (ie manic smiling), although they had no complaints about the speed of his work.) He figured that was what was happening so he took in his uniform and handed it back. Right now he’s sitting in the Burnaby Library across from Highgate and reading Neil Gaiman and thinking bleak bleak thoughts.

He called up looking for some “buck up” and I supplied same.

Heavy sigh.

The weird thing is, I just remembered that I got fired from Grandma Lee’s Bakery in London, when I was his age. Cazart! I’m so old, I’ve forgotten the jobs I was fired from! There’s hope, Keith, really there is.

Spiderlamb, spiderlamb
2006-03-20— Posted by: allegra

Gonna have, his own web cam….. credit Agence France Presse.

Candle for losses
2006-03-20— Posted by: allegra

I light a candle for a theft suffered by dear dear friends, and I administer a psychic kick in the ass to the mean people who did the thieving. Guess I missed the point of forgiveness.

Back to work this morning. NO more VOICEmail. Yeeeeeeeehawwwwwwwwwwww! (I used to have 26 voicemails waiting for me when I came in Monday morning, but somebody turned it off.

Cousin Gerald sent a picture puzzle put together by Virgin Digital which is rebuses of band names, past and present. Keith and Kate and I had a great time messing with it, and got about thirty five names (out of seventy four, and two of them that I got were slightly wrong) in about 20 minutes. A very nice piece of intergenerational fun.

You know, the only way you can rebel against parents who raised you as an atheist is to get religion. Becoming an axe murderer just wasn’t an option.

Leo and Linda/Laurel and Etta
2006-03-19— Posted by: allegra

Had a brief and lovely visit from Cousin Laurel and her youngest, Etta (who kept her nose FIRMLY in a book while she was here and politely asked if she could leave at a certain time so she could go to the Vancouver Public Library), and a less brief but equally lovely visit from Leo and Linda. Linda, despite having walking pneumonia, is a complete force of nature, and having Leo around just makes me feel quietly happy.

Mother, you will be pleased to know that we did a Standard Family Thing. We went for ice cream, except in this case, for 218 kinds of gelato at the big Gelato Palace on Venables.

Katie promptly said she wants to take Dax there, and I can’t blame her.

I have a lot of wonderful leftovers in the fridge from our meal at Chong Lum Hin (kids were in attendance, and Keith tried a new food, minced beef and spinach).

I ditched Mothers Day and am now blasting through “She” my ONE AND ONLY attempt at arena rock. It was meant to be sung by a Guy With Big Hair. I only started yesterday and I’m almost done, which tells you how formulaic and metrically unchallenging it is.

Katie is playing PS2 and Keith is kibitzing while waiting for me to get off the computer.

Strange email award goes to….
2006-03-18— Posted by: allegra

Sandy, whom I’ve previously mentioned, owns and operates the Red Deer Lodge and Campground close by Algonquin Park, in Ontario. In her on line listing with Holiday Junction, she mentions that she has a clean beach.

Alas, the perils of Google.

Sandy recently received this email. I have stripped off the attributions out of mercy for the woman who typed it…..

I am looking for any information you can give regarding cleaning a beach. I am asking on behalf of a town in Newfoundland and Labrador which has a beach in desperate need of cleaning.

Thanks

Lazy Saturday morning
2006-03-18— Posted by: allegra

Katie is playing PS2, Keith’s asleep, and I’m contemplating the house cleaning I have to do and saying Bleagh. I did manage to find the ac adapter for the Casio so I unpronged myself from the spear of irony, and have gone back to working away on my songs.

Leo and Linda (I have previously posted pics at Christmas and at other times) will be here overnight, and I may see cousin Laurel and her daughter today as well. A family type day….

Have a good one everybody! The weather in Vancouver is promising sunny good cheer.

On a less cheerful note, I saw three dead rats and a dead seagull on the way back from dropping Paul at the airport. That’s the highest roadkill count in quite a while; and the last one was about a block from here. On the other hand, it’s all critters God made enough of, so it’s all, if not good, then suggestably okay.

60 bars
2006-03-18— Posted by: allegra

You would think, it being St Patrick’s Day and all, that the 60 bars I am referring to are the 60 bars I’ve visited over my life. They would include the Elbow Room and the Spoke’n Rim and the Bavarian Tavern and Mingles and Nag’s Head North and the El Mocambo and the Silver Dollar and the Ox Box and Eagle’s Nest and the Elephant and Castle and Larry’s Hideaway and Toby’s and Barbie’s.

Yes, when I lived in Montreal, I had a Barbie’s at the end of my street. And a damned good depanneur, too; they always had St. Ambroise Blonde in the cooler.

Life was good, and I was 30 pounds lighter, although definitely meaner and dumber than I am now. Good trade, if trade it was, now that I come to think of it, fat for brains and manners. Or maybe the fat just slows ya down; you just LOOK smarter because you’re not launching yourself lustfully at every bit of trouble that comes your way.

Howsoever that may be, the 60 bars I was referring to are actually the 60 bars in “Mother’s Day” I have completed; I’m nowhere close to done and the whole project is starting to take on the leaden weight of “Gone with the Wind”.

I am so far pleased with the results.

I have sent away for a midi cable to connect the Casio keyboard I bought my daughter with my bonus money last year to my computer, and of course having spent the f*cking money I cannot find the ac adapter for the Casio. As I literally sell ac adapters for a living (none of which would work, thanks for asking)……. the irony of this is so intense that I feel like I’m being repeatedly jabbed by a spear while I lie on the ground and squirm, while yelling Holy Virgin! Lay off! Okay I’m sensitive, it’s not that big a deal, I’m just…

Yeah.

Anyway, I’m going to make one more horrified and gingerly inspection of my daughter’s room, in case the ac adapter decides to leap up and recite “Invictus” while emitting a pale green miasma. Because, folks, it would take that much to draw attention in the thong bestrewn (

Ed., that’s enough of that) so anyways I hope I’ll find it.

Work continues to be much improved. Tomorrow is my ninth anniversary there.

Gianna, Peter T, Rob of Nine, Dave M, Patricia and Dave D were my companions at lunch today (Mario, being the sane adult in the crowd, stayed back at the office and performed a strange ritual called “work”). I stood Patricia and Rob a beer. From this you may safely assume that as much of a worker’s paradise as BC is, we weren’t in the company cafeteria.

I was very happy when I got back to the office. Blithe, even.

Jumping Jimmy Christmas
2006-03-17— Posted by: allegra

So a couple of weeks after the picture of the new Abominable snow lobster comes out…. the STUFFED TOY!????

DNA in the sky
2006-03-17— Posted by: allegra

Isn’t this a pretty picture? Its called the DNA nebula, pic credit NASA.

I have put my flax, loofah, tobacco, jalapeno and sugar beet seeds in their little starter homes. They look very cute.

When I came home last night, Keith and Kate were playing a racing game head to head on the PS2 Katie borrowed from Dax. It was extremely cute.

Cuter still was overhearing Katie explain to a buddy she hadn’t spoken to for two years on the phone,

No, actually, I don’t drink anymore.

No, actually, I don’t go to parties anymore.

No, actually, I don’t talk to her anymore; she thought I stole her thongs (ed note, I KNOW this sounds ridiculous, but it’s true) and I don’t really like her very much.

Are you kidding? She’s fatter than I was at my chubbiest.

Well, I hang out with my boyfriend, go to school, do my homework, do the dishes, play on the PS2 and hang out with my family.

Yes, I’m sure it sounds very boring to you.

ED note… just when I’m thinking how proud of her I am, she comes out with this gem, “Do you know where he lives, I have to beat the crap out of that kid!”

“He just really deserves it, take my word for it.”

Okay, that wasn’t cute, but I really don’t think she’s serious.

No kangaroos in Austria
2006-03-16— Posted by: allegra

So, of course, here’s an Austrian kangaroo… note the snow.

enough sleep
2006-03-16— Posted by: allegra

I made the mistake of going to the band name generator site.

Allegra Meltdown

Allegra Century

Allegra of the Algae

Shrewd Allegra

Allegra Piracy

Selfish Allegra

Allegra People

Allegra Arcade

Binary Allegra and the Thirty Lieutenant

Allegra Minute

Intelligent design
2006-03-16— Posted by: allegra

So as we continue to truck down life’s highway, isn’t it interesting how design is becoming more – naturalistic?

This device is called a Powersquid.

all hail rishathra
2006-03-16— Posted by: allegra

He died on the 15th
2006-03-16— Posted by: allegra

I hate having my site hosted in a different time zone.

H P Lovecraft deathday
2006-03-16— Posted by: allegra

He died on this day in 1937. RIP, you squiddly guy you.

Note from my brO
2006-03-15— Posted by: allegra

Allegra, this just occurred to me the other day as I walked the halls of UVic with my ears covered to avoid serious damage to my hearing from people screaming on their cell phones. [1] Regular phones provide audible feedback consisting of the talker’s voice, amplified and emitted from the earpiece. [2] The louder their own voice seems to the talker, the more quietly they tend to speak. You can test this easily enough on a regular phone that allows you to adjust the earpiece volume. Office phones usually have a feature like this. [3] Cell phones apparently don’t have this feedback feature. My own cell phone has an earpiece volume setting but this has no apparent effect on sounds coming from the microphone. In fact I can detect no evidence whatsoever that sound from the microphone is being directed to the earpiece. [4] So I think this explains why everyone seems so loud when talking on cell phones. The whole notion of feedback as way to regulate your voice volume is pretty well understood. If you cover your ears you tend to talk louder. Same thing if you’re temporarily deaf after a loud concert. [5] Now the real question: assuming I’m right about cells having no talker feedback, WHY is that the case? My suspicion is that it’s to save power. To get the sound from the microphone to the earpiece and provide sufficient feedback strength, you have to amplify it. Cell phones are all about minimizing power use for extended charge life. It makes sense, but this is yet another case of unintended consequences, IMHO. Jeff

Working away
2006-03-15— Posted by: allegra

Paul went up to Kamloops with Mike J yesterday – the weather was apparently foul – and got back in time for some daylight, so they hung the engine.

It hailed with unbelievable fury around 10 to 6 last evening. I was just dropping Rob of Nine off at his place after a trek to the liquor store in Lougheed Mall *no Lion Winter Ale OF COURSE*, and the skies opened and 1.5 cm chunks of ice fell for about ten minutes. I was figuring it was pretty local and it was – my place is only about 4 km away by car and nothing fell in East Burnaby. The temperature on the ground was about plus 4 so obviously nothing lasted, but Yumpin Yiminy it was slippery underfoot. I remember driving by a jogger who was blinking somewhat more often than usual but appeared otherwise unperturbed, and one seriously distressed looking motorcyclist, who had pulled over and put his kerchief up.

Futurama-dama continues unabated with a side of a 3rd season of Babylon 5…

Last night I resisted and stuck to my song writing, and am now very well into Mothers Day, including the dirgelike bass line. Hm. Well, I have another half hour to work on it before the work cycle starts again so I’ll get back to it.

Since it’s been ages since I posted a decent moose picture, I will leave you with this gem, culled from a site in New Zealand of all places. Provenance is entirely unknown.

Feelin’ Squiddy Part Deux
2006-03-15— Posted by: allegra

So my mother writes me…..

With just a little encouragement, I might knit a squid…

R

My ever so UNfilial response:

Really? So typing Knitting pattern squid in Google is too much for you? What a drag it is getting old.

Okay, now you can throw a pillow at me and scowl.

A

And my mother’s response, a warm and measured….:

Right. So I found the squid knitting pattern, and it wouldn’t print out. I HAD thought I could try it without a pattern but now that I know there IS one, I want it!

Knitting a squid is as a phrase in English on par with another one unlikely to be heard: Hand me that piano. That appeals to me.

R

Karl Marx RIP
2006-03-14— Posted by: allegra

Karl died 123 years ago today.

We’re coming up on 20 years after the Chernobyl disaster. I remember being pregnant with Keith and feeling very helpless and sad. So expect the usual media feculence as we ramp up to the actual anniversary.

Yrch!
2006-03-14— Posted by: allegra

Apart from my yard looking like Saruman’s minions have been at it, I’m doing okay. Paul, in a masterful demonstration of his command of space, removed the branches on the walnut without bringing down any hydro lines, and if you’d seen the conundrum you would have pronounced it a poser and likely said, plaintively, why not hire a professional. But with a borrowed Sears electric chainsaw (a damn good one too!) and the determination for which he is justly famous, he got the last of the branches down at sunset… One wire did get munched a bit…. but it was the cable – which Paul took side cutters to about 6 years ago, anyway, where it came into the house – when we found out the cable wasn’t actually disconnected and the kids were using it. Snip. Paul is a man not to dick around with.

I have the car today, yippee. Paul and Mike J are driving to Kamloops to pick up the engine for Mike’s aircraft, John’s just gone off to work, Katie’s in the embrace of Morpheus and Keith has to work later today. Blew off karate, the little weiner. Futurama proved TOO much for him, and frankly for me too.

What a sitcom it is! What mastery of the form! At least twice an episode I find myself laughing so hard the kids tell me to shut the fuck up, they can’t hear the dialogue.

I am sad about the trees, and Paul’s really not happy about it either, but it wasn’t our idea to plant those trees on a sewer line, and we will be planting more trees on the property – on the other side, little fruit trees.

As per Brooke’s request, I am working on the song Mothers Day.

Work has finally lightened up. Oatmeal is calling, must run.

Feelin’ squiddy
2006-03-14— Posted by: allegra

I feel squiddy.

http://community.livejournal.com/molluscious/85967.html?#cutid1

enough sleep
2006-03-13— Posted by: allegra

We sang and played at Peggy and Tom’s last night. Tom cooked a stellar meal, and I made a DESSERT! Yes, yesterday was a day I got off my ass and did stuff, including mending, laundry, trimming figs (I am SO sore) and baking a spice cake for Peggy (and a small army of food colouring enthusiasts, truth be told). Paul and I slept like kitty cats. I had yet another dream about a coworker – this one involved me looking puzzled while he tried to explain something to me. This is so close to what happens in real life that I woke up grinning. I can’t tell the difference between reality and dreams. Here comes Paul up the back stairs, having gone running with Peggy (enterprising folks that they are); Katie is asleep in bed and Keith is long gone off to the early shift at Cobs.

I awoke to the sound of a woodpecker drumming in a tree.

Super sad sad note. All the trees in the side yard are coming down. The sewer line is right under them and we’ve already had one near disaster. Only the walnut was productive, and only for the freaking squirrels, anyway. Instantly I have a sunny south facing side yard to plant in.

Karl got cuttings from our fig trees. Apparently they are dead easy to propagate.

“My vegetable love should grow ….
2006-03-13— Posted by: allegra

Vaster than empires, and more slow.”

Perverted pepper and quote (Andrew Marvell) supplied by WHO ELSE, Dr. Filk.

Confluence of coinkidinks
2006-03-13— Posted by: allegra

Cousin Gerald found this on a BBC website. It purports to be a recent picture of Glasgow. Now, Glasgow is the place where Toribird is shortly to return from (she finished all of her assignments and got them graded and she’s coming home like two weeks early (Tigger bounce)). So it looks like the Glaswegians get snow. Or, as I read in a Scots Dialect on line dictionary, “Aw naw, SNAW!” Of course, the logo on the van makes it standalone funny, but I wanted you to enjoy the coincidence.

Weekend news roundup
2006-03-12— Posted by: allegra

Absolutely nothing is happening. Everybody go back to sleep.

Bye Vijay
2006-03-11— Posted by: allegra

My colleague Vijay is fleeing the scene. It is tempting to place a bug on the wall of the room where he will be having his exit interview, but it did give us an excuse to drag the teetotal dude to the golf course. Tom U (ach, how I miss him) and Jim A (ditto), Mike, Robbie B, Rob of Nine and Liz, Jessica, Brian C, Venu, Kevin C, Sau, myself and Alex S saw him off.

Jessica was having conniptions at the prospect of her stagette. I am so frikkin glad that is something I will NEVER experience that words cannot describe it. Considering that 3 beers make me garrulous (what, more than normal? ed.) and 7 make me puke, a stag would probably result in my presentation to RCH with alcohol poisoning.

Katie just called from Suzanne’s to indicate all is well; bring underwear. Bring underwear? Okay, I won’t ask any questions. (Actually she needs two days’ worth of clothes but the underwear question sort of got my attention.)

Keith is playing Prince of Persia on PS2 and making a certain amount of interesting banging noises.

Slobodan Milosevic is dead. Happens to the best of us, eventually. Of course there is the little issue of the autopsy… at least he wasn’t alive and dead at the same time, like poor Schrodinger-style Arafat.

enough sleep
2006-03-11— Posted by: allegra

Moose in Bondage
2006-03-11— Posted by: allegra

God, looks like a dull day in rural New Hampshire. “Mert, the moose tied himself up in the swing set again.”

Did you know there is a Distinguished Moose Biologist Award? Bernt Earik Saether of Trondheim Norway won it in 2002. He was inspired to study moose after one bit his sister. I’m making all this up, but you can check it on the inertnet if you like. I know what you’re thinking, Brooke. You can’t fool me. It’s time I posted a picture of a moose playing BANJO! Now THAT would be entertaining. But as moose do not actually have hands, I’ll be a while getting that picture to you.

Busy
2006-03-10— Posted by: allegra

I appear to be recovered from my migraine. A lot of snow fell last night, and I’m glad I wasn’t driving in it because the 106 bus driver was doing chewies in the snow trying to get out of bus stops; he refused to go down the hill into New West and was cycling between the mall and Edmonds Station.

That was because I was on the way back from Mike’s place, where I went to commingle with his harem (

Prior to Mike’s I was with Paul at Katie’s parent teacher night. It’s frikkin weird to think she’s in grade 12. In fact, I felt my innards contract a little when I typed that, no lie.

Then I jumped on the Skytrain (which, when the doors open on the new cars is kyTrain, did you know that?) and disembarked at Nanaimo (I think it would be bad form to say I ‘got off’ at Nanaimo) and walked over to his place. Yes, this news item is full of temporal distortions.

When I got home, Savage Love was neatly folded face up on the living room couch. I didn’t even wait that long for the bus at Edmonds, which is a frikkin miracle, considering how underdressed for the weather I was.

Side note to Rob of Nine. My new record is 7.

Getting to work today will be interesting. It’s 8:15 and Paul isn’t home yet – I’m supposed to have the car.

Pic is of the snow last night.

Here piggy piggy piggy
2006-03-10— Posted by: allegra

For Mom

Interesting
2006-03-09— Posted by: allegra

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Acts of Service
with a secondary love language being
Words of Affirmation.

Complete set of results

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don’t understand our partner’s requirements, or even our own. We all have a “love tank” that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

My head the weather balloon
2006-03-09— Posted by: allegra

Between midnight and noon today (March 8) the barometer dropped from 101.9 kP to 99.9 kP. My head responded by giving me one of the most bizarre migraines I’ve ever lived through. I went home around noon feeling completely screwed up (Thank God Paul could pick me up) and only just woke up – it’s about five thirty on March 8 whatever the date header says….

I got:

Visual disturbances (like, vertical bars in front of my eyes;

balance disturbances;

coordination disturbances;

unbelievably stiff painful neck, but just on my right side, which persists;

differences in colour vision between left and right eyes;

worst dizziness I’ve ever had when I hadn’t been drinking and didn’t have flu;

transient nausea at the commencement of the ‘ride’.

Get this… appetite and tolerance for noise and light were undisturbed, except for video screens. Even now I’m thinking I should just shut ‘er down and run a bath… the screen is too harsh to look at. As always the fix was to take codeine and lie down. I’m going to go run a bath. More later. That was just plain weird. My brain never ceases to amaze me.

Various
2006-03-08— Posted by: allegra

Hey Alan, I dreamed about you last night! You had grown much taller (?!) and when I went walking with you I had to wrap my arm around your leg. Odd dream, but pleasant withal. The rest of my dreams were full of greasy salesmen trying to sell me “snake chow” when I KNOW that snakes eat live food only. Hm. Wonder if I should read something into that.

Puddled briefly last night.

Shown is a new hairy lobster. Actually, it isn’t. It’s a whole new genus of crustacean called kawa hirsuta. The hairs are eye substitutes because this critter is blind. It was discovered in very deep water off of Easter Island. I find it quite beautiful although there likely will be other opinions. Credit AP.

expire of the cuteness
2006-03-07— Posted by: allegra

http://cityrag.blogs.com/main/2006/03/my_kitty.html

For more pix like:

Ali Farka Toure
2006-03-07— Posted by: allegra

Is dead after a long illness; RIP.

Perseus taking a shower
2006-03-07— Posted by: allegra

Perseus in marble
2006-03-07— Posted by: allegra

Perseus in marble
2006-03-07— Posted by: allegra

A pictorial meditation on Perseus
2006-03-07— Posted by: allegra

Cellini’s masterpiece, seen from the side.

Pig snouts
2006-03-07— Posted by: allegra

Strange, strange, are the ways of fortune. I actually had a good reason to be searching for images of pigs looking up. What I looked at instead, about half the time, were repulsive veterinary style closeups of mucosal diseases of swine. Hrrr! bah…. brrrrrr bleaughhh! It was beyond words ghastly, and yet strangely compelling.

So after looking at a LOT of diseased pigs, I found one pig that was *almost* anatomically correct in the correct posture for me to thieve in the name of kitsch, and decided to quit while I was ahead. I am planning a piece of fabric art for my mother, which involves an enchanting young pig looking adoringly at a hummingbird. Thus the warning about kitsch.

Work was actually entertaining in a dry, pinned to a neat label in a neat box, kind of way.

I light candles for Peggy, Brooke, Rev Katie, Dr Filk, my folks, Jeff, Jerome, Tammy, Alan, Janice, Mike, Tori, Keith, Kate, Patricia, Rob of Nine, Peter T, Gianna, Lindsay. I send virtual hugs to Paul. (As soon as I typed that, Paul magically appeared behind me and started massaging my shoulders, which struck me as being pretty funny as coincidences go.) He’s gone off to look after himself and he deposited a kiss on me on his way out the door.

My life has changed abruptly for the better and the worse. My mother’s mother said repeatedly in my hearing that her family could never be TOO big, but she didn’t give me the heart-stopping corollary, which is that you have one fuck of a lot more people to worry about then or be forced to cough up for, which is not always a good trade for the number of relatives you can sponge from, if you follow my venal train of thought.

I’m signing off, Buffyverse is taking over again and I’ll have to take refuge in my bedroom or be suck’d into its aweful power especially as it’s my fave 2nd season ‘sode. Must fleeeee, and take Mandolin with to drown out noise. Yes. A Plan. I have my grip on a Plan.

Word cloud
2006-03-06— Posted by: allegra

Here’s a word cloud of my blog.

Many remarkable things.
2006-03-06— Posted by: allegra

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhm67vUMamg

mOm, please do not feel obliged to watch this. But if you do, please be advised that the most remarkable thing about this extremely, uh, sophisticated and adult oriented video, is the guy playing the banjo… at least in my opinion. And as a warning for everyone else, if the sight of dildoes and pasties bothers you, please don’t go there.

I am not going to say who sent this to me, but I will admit “Geez, that’s kind of a personal question!” occurred to me as I was viewing it. By copy to Dr. Filk… I believe you saw a band perform this live at an Ivan Coyote book launch, or maybe you didn’t.

Bambi Blanco II
2006-03-06— Posted by: allegra

I just HAD to post the other picture. Cute as the dickens, ain’t it.

Bambi Blanco
2006-03-06— Posted by: allegra

This picture came to me via cousin Gerald, who got it from a coworker, who got it from a friend who lives in Texas. This little creature, nicknamed Powder by the family who got him briefly before the game warden came and got him, was hours old when they nearly hit him with their car. They figured he was a baby goat, but he’s a whitetail deer fawn. Look how small he is compared to the shoe!!! He took to the bottle right away and will probably end up at a game farm or petting zoo.

Travelling about
2006-03-05— Posted by: allegra

Paul, Katie, Keith and I got on the ferry to Victoria this morning. I spent the whole ferry trip sorting through my pile of songs and writing out lyrics for songs from memory, and adding cards for new songs; all boring administrivia stuff, nothing as fun as actually getting the songs into sheet music form.

My dad’s about to go pick up his mom and Jeff is coming over later too, so it will be a small festive gathering.

Fed Suzanne and John last night; I would have fed Zach more but I pulled out the Nutella. What a mess I made of the roast – I didn’t cook it nearly long enough and then of course overcooked it.

When we got off the ferry we were greeted by what appeared to be a huge pollen cloud; I am now itching and blinking constantly while my brain slowly swells. Everything is flowering here; there are daffs at the side of the road and cherries in bloom – blooming well everywhere.

To keep with the family theme, the picture is of my cousin Shauna (on the left) and my cousin Derry (on the right, and now sadly and too soon departed many years ago of cancer) in about 1973.

Keith is happily telling the grandparents what it’s like to work at Cobs Bakery. Paul pulled out the Jericho Beach flying boat book John bought for him for Dad to look at. All in all, a peaceful Sunday.

Nuff said
2006-03-03— Posted by: allegra

It is the weekend. It is payday. I am feeding Suzanne on Saturday and we’re visiting my folks on Sunday. Oh, sorry, mOm, I neglected to mention that in my phone call this ayem. Work fellates the galactic moose. Katie slept at Suzanne’s. John puddled last night. In reviewing the last sentence I must hasten to add that he neither ‘puddled’ like a Rudy Rucker character, nor ‘puddled’ in the sense of lost control of his sphincters, but went to the Pool to swim. Brooke puddled too, in the same sense of the word. Keith appears to have been taken on full time by the Cobs on Commercial Drive and is working a full shift today. He is on the counter, not in the bakery. They adjusted his shifts around his karate. Paul is singing J Geils “My Angel is a Centerfold” which should give you some idea of his mood. His class was cancelled and I got called into pick him up from work. Katie got 35 out of 45 on her Psych presentation. Keith enjoyed Karate last night but I think he enjoyed the three hours playing Whorecraft much more. Keith is admonishing me. He actually caught some live music at Myles of Beans last night. Quite the man about town, he’s becoming.

Course was cancelled
2006-03-03— Posted by: allegra

So Paul just worked an ordinary day today. I’ll go pick him up later this evening. I feel like steak tonight, and by Gar I think I’ll go get some. Steak and epsom salts, on my shopping list. Not to eat all at once of course.

Some cats like to watch
2006-03-02— Posted by: allegra

and some like the parallel bars. Some do pawstands. This is a cruelty free cat show – the cats are doing it as a result of his observation of their special talents and then developing it.

http://www.MOSCOWCATSTHEATRE.com/

Edumacation
2006-03-02— Posted by: allegra

Paul’s on the plane to Toronto to learn about a new inflight entertainment. I miss him already.

But what about small aircraft?
2006-03-02— Posted by: allegra

http://www.alternet.org/story/32903

Gosh. I guess if I don’t want to feel guilty about travelling any more I’d better not go anywhere in the future.

enough sleep
2006-03-01— Posted by: allegra

Bird flu in cats? Now I’m worried.