Polar bear with pumpkin

Into the “Live long enough and you’ll see some crazy sh’t” file goes a new datum. The Nigerian scammers went through the Dorothy Dunnett archives and have started sending their classic letters to what is probably the most skeptical and refined group of women (present company excepted – and there are a few guys, but not many, in the fan club) on the planet. We viewed this in a mood between hysterical paralysis (suppressed laughter) and bilious fury.

My life is about to get complicated and scary again. I can’t really say anything else except that I’m looking forward to an opportunity for us to really show what we’re made of. 2019 says I have no fucking idea what this means.

Pokey went crazy yesterday and attacked Paul. He has a lot of very big scratches.

last showcase

Last showcase tonight. Hope you all have other plans; the Laughing Bean only holds 35 people and everybody else said that the known planetary population was coming. I am feeling reasonably relaxed about my set.

I am trying to figure out how I’m going to make a living, post apocalypse, and I have a number of dodges which I think may go reasonably well if I don’t have to move around a lot. Mind you I may not make the cut, but at least I’m trying to think in terms of ‘what small non perishable items will people still want after global industrial collapse?’ Played the Tapioca song to my bedroom walls last night… better than trying to play it in front of the kids, who start screaming and throwing things if I do.

why I don’t like this shirt

I was trying to remember when I got this shirt on this morning why I don’t like wearing it, and now that I am typing I know – the buttons bang and rattle on the keyboard in a most distracting way.

All the things that are bugging me right now I can’t talk about because a) the inertnet is forever b) I should be talking to the people who are bugging me rather than sandbagging them c) nobody really cares given THEIR general level of ickiness and d) adults are supposed to actually reflect upon their woes in private; it’s one of the things that makes an adult.

Then, after sober reflection you figure out which one of your friends-for-hire you should talk to about it.

The last showcase is Friday. I thank everybody who’s coming and advise you that if you really want a seat you’d better get there by 7:45.

more megrim

Yeah, enough sleep. Like 15 hours. Worst aura in my life, completely shut down three quarters of my left side visual field. Followed in a matter of minutes not by a headache but complete inability to think and — this is really weird — a diminishment of my colour vision…The whole thing was triggered by the ruby laser in my optical mouse, if you can believe it. Before I went home sick I marched over to IT and replaced it. Woke up around 4, glanced over Katie’s shoulder at the computer which triggered visual effects AGAIN, this time on the right side, followed by tingling and numbness down BOTH baby fingers, so into the hottest bath I could stand, and lots of painkillers. Back to bed and up at 6:30. Feel like crap but I should be okay at work if I don’t move suddenly and nobody shines a light at me or yells in my ear. Gotta sign off, my fingers are tingling again. Must have caffeine. mOm the package arrived.

banana treat sea monkey dessert

Pic is something random.

Brooke forwarded a link to hummingbirds hatching but I’m not going to post the pix because a) they are not cute, they’re hijjus, and b) she says she doesn’t like birds. I have no idea what the significance of this is.

Last night I dreamed that I nearly ran over a toddler while I was backing out of my parking space at Stuporstore and when I picked him up (he was squawking something fierce) and walked around with him I found his mother dead in her minivan. Then I woke up. My dreams have been so full of violence, especially violence against women, lately. I still got enough sleep though.

Brooke, do they really make “Banana Treat Sea Monkey Dessert” like it says on the piece of cardboard that was protecting the Tartelettes au Dali or am I still hallucinating? I think I’m going to go look that up on the net now…..

stoooopp presses

WRENCHINGLY STOP THE GEAR TEETH OF THE PRESSES! SYNTAX MURDER AND WHINING CEASE!!! Okay, I’m calmer now. I will be posting some pictures….Maria, a friend of Katie’s, whom she saw earlier today, “And she looked as pretty as I’ve ever seen her and she must have spent an hour on her hair,” is lying in an intensive care unit somewhere in the lower mainland subsequent to being struck by a car. Skull caved in somewhat – she’s in a coma; no further details.

My mother just told me a family story (more than 50 years old) that is so intense and scary, and with no end in sight, that my heart just about stopped a couple of times. A lot of children die in this story, so it’s a weird thing to hear about on Valentine’s Day.

Forgot to call Tam, may my ears droop, but happy Valentine’s Day anyway sweetie.

“Where’d *that* come from” said Paul when he got home this evening and found the remains of the tarts, a picture of which may or may not be appended depending on whether I can actually hit the right button.

There was a big bottle of ether around too because the Beemer is going back together soonish and Kate whipped around from the computer and said ether? Like in the movie? (which made sense to me because *I* knew that she’d just seen Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, which she really enjoyed) and I said yes.

John read Aftermath, which is by Lois McMaster Bujold. Katie liked that.

And we went to Chong Lum Hin for yummy dinner, including my lunch for tomorrow (tofu and minced pork in hot sauce, man it was good!)

I attempted to register the kids for a “how to get a summer job” course which includes Food Safe (the local “Please don’t give the effing tourists salmonella you effing boneheads” course). We shall see whether they took my money…. The kids are giving up their March break for this, it’d better be worth it. It means they’ll have to be in the right place at Cap College for 10 in the frikkin’ mornin’ too. I ain’t hauling that shift, they got bus passes.

Anywess, the tarts, the Hallucinogenia brand tarts; Brooke poked her head in at John’s workplace with 12 of these eyepopping little menaces; I say it three times, she’s a goddess among women, although her banjo debilitation deeply troubles me by times. John said I cannot possibly consume these, I must have your assistance. I womanfully bellyflopped into the breach and I promise I ate it reasonably slowly.

I hope Maria recovers fully but this is now the second kid in a matter of months that Katie saw and then was killed or injured by a car hours later so she’s understandably a little freaked.

Funny (to me) email exchange with Daxus (yes, that’s the boyfriend’s name) this am; Katie had told him I bought him a shirt and he Tsked me, the little sod. So I said, “I TOLD Katie to keep her yap shut, or you’d think I was a cougar. Oh well.” If I didn’t know she’d massage my skull with a chair leg I’d post the poem and letter she wrote for him. In the annals of big big love it’s definitely a keeper.

At last count 14 people have thanked me for Valentine’s Day cards. And the lawyer gave me a home made chocolate muffin with a glacier of white icing and a heart of red sprinkles on top. Man, you get these people going and they are COMPETITIVE. Next year the plan is to buy ALL the best grade school valentines (some of them are actually quite cool) and give one to every person in the company (including the overseas folks), but personalize the ones for individuals.

I’d better post this or my mom will be cheesed that I didn’t hit send before she went to bed because she’s expecting this.

owlet

Daniel J Cox of National Geographic took this pic of a Great Grey owlet in the snow.

http://magma.nationalgeographic.com/ngm/0502/feature4/index.html

is the link to the rest of the pics, which I highly recommend, and thanks to CJ for forwarding the link in the first place.

Tremendous deficiency of baby animals lately, must find more cute pix.

 

valentines

This past week I made and distributed Valentines to a number of my beloved coworkers, including such self penned gems as

Please let this card express

my sincere appreciation

for how your hard work,

professionalism and sense of humour

help transform this place

from a mind-numbing zombie hellpit of darkness

to a really cool place to work.

I am not exaggerating to say that I made a lot of people’s days. Two coworkers approached me with tears of gratitude in their eyes, and one went home and had his wife do me up a full colour response to the foregoing, including a really scary looking zombie….(Valentines are red, strawberries too, When I now think of Zombies I’ll be thinking of you!).

Hallmark makes coworker valentine cards, but I doubt any of them said that.

Mandolin practice

I have fallen deeply in love with that mandolin. Keith is annoyed with me, as I was practicing 5 hours yesterday. Worked up the melody line for Wildwood Flower, plus all the chord changes, plus an extremely rock and roll break for it. Bery funny. Also worked out “Tapioca” and “Lifeline” for the mando – actually sounds kinda cool, although I really need to put instrumental breaks in both of them. Zow. And you know, none of this would have happened if Paul hadn’t ordered me to have a good time yesterday. I laundered not, neither did I spin. I just played the mando until Keith was ready to adjust my air supply. My entire left hand is screeching like a fishwife and I have interesting divots out of my right arm where I was resting it against the instrument. The SD ram in the camera DOES NOT FIT the MP3 player, calice tabernac. Highly recommended – Red vs. Blue. I know it makes me an idiot, but I am a fan.