A long way down

I know I am moving and walking and talking, but there is a deep feeling in me that I’ve forgotten something.  And then I’ll remember that John is dead.  I make breakfast, and then run back to my computer to post another link I just remembered to add to his memorial site.

Juliana, his housemate for the last two years, sent me a very sweet message.  I send you a hug, dear one.  There will be a memorial service in Victoria as well; the folk musicians he played with there very much wish to celebrate his life, and I hope it’s a day I can go.  There will likely be a memorial in Ontario too…. a lot of people knew him and loved him.

The only way I can properly memorialize him is by singing and playing more.  And god almighty, I never felt less like doing it.  Every time I look at my musical instruments, I flinch.  No comfort there yet.