Sad news

Tom died today – yesterday now. I wept briefly but now I just feel numb and my heart quails thinking of the weight the kids and Peggy are bearing.

I am so glad I went to see him that last time, he was close then and I made sure there was a little laughter in the room, and I played my uke for him. And I’m glad I didn’t go after that. Minutes are precious.

I have so many thoughts and they are all very good thoughts I’m sure but they never get very far, and even if they did they wouldn’t belong here.

He was a good, kind, funny, hardworking man and we may see him echoed in his children but his vices and his virtues will never be assembled in that way again, and it’s so fucking unfair I can’t tell you and I’m up way past my bedtime and I need to try to sleep again.



Ten year anniversary

On this day ten years ago, my first husband Phillip passed away in Toronto of complications of diabetes and kidney disease.

I think about him all the time but I don’t talk about him much. My last conversation with him was kindly, but very sobering. I saw what happened to a man who gets sick with a disease that requires a lot of management, but who has an executive dysfunction (like me, Phil had terrifically bad ADD, but only time has allowed me to look back and see it.) It’s easy to be drawn to someone who has the same bent and creative fire….

He was a remarkable man, and if he could forgive me for my cruelties, and I forgive him for his, I won’t beat myself up too hard for my failures in being his partner. I hope you’re listening to T. Rex playing new music and working on model cars, while wearing a special outfit covered with cats, wherever you are, Phil.

Not a single photo of him appears to survive on the easily searched part of the internet – I’m assuming there’ll be something on facebook, but I don’t attend there any more.


Norm Macdonald is dead and the only people I can see who are mourning him are men on Reddit…. quite interesting. Waiting for a woman celebrity OTHER THAN SARAH SILVERMAN who really is a Sspecial cKase to praise him.

When Robin Williams and George Carlin died there was an incredible outpouring from a huge range of people and with Norm… just men. And Sarah Silverman. Makes ya think, don’t it?

I have started taking the medications. I’m not experiencing side effects so far, bar being a little off my feed. The real whoopsiedoodle will be the ADD meds, but I’m going to wait a while to start those.


Ken Burns made a documentary about ‘the greatest athlete of the 20th c’ – Mohammad Ali. That’s funny, because by many objective measures the greatest athlete of the 20th C was Babe Didrikson, and she sewed her own fucking clothes while she was winning.


about to leave the house whooooppeeeee

Paul’s arriving shortly for masked walkies and pho.

Jeff and I are halfway through “Swan Song” an Udo Kier film. I’ve already cried six times I’m sure I’ve got some left in me but GAh I’d better take water in a bottle.

Gene Roddenberry would have been one hundred years old today. He was a massively imperfect human being and sexist af and Star Trek is an important cultural inflection point. We can think these things at the same time, because imperfect beings are always thinking about imperfect beings, and think they can still get it right.

Corpse flower

Uncle Fester, Bloedel Conservatory’s titan arum or “corpse flower,” bloomed on Wednesday, Aug. 18, 2021. (YouTube/Vancouver Park Board)

RIP Colleen

Colleen Savitzky, a member of the PNW filk community, passed away on July 12. I remember her as being the linchpin of her family and just always being a very superior and cheerful kind of person, and I was moved to tears by Steve’s description of her last hours, which I won’t cross post because that would be quite inappropriate.

May we all be so good that we leave a hole in life like that when we go.

I sent an extremely brief private note of condolence to Riley. I can’t imagine his loss either.

lovely productive day with a dark ending

Leftover Desi Turka takeaway for breakfast. A couple of loads of laundry done. A little bit of planning for writing. Practicing musical instruments. A lot of CBD gummies, my back was scandalous.

Steps from where I got takeaway on Wednesday after the cleaning at the dentist (the mango lassi was SO.DAMNED.GOOD) someone was shot dead last week in broad daylight.

Last night someone was shot dead steps from where we get donuts of a morning. He was sitting in his car, a young East Indian man, eating a hamburger, and pop pop pop.

It doesn’t make me want to rejoin the world.

Hives continue

Lost a good chunk of sleep last night to them. Topical creams help a little but it was kinda rough.

I’m going to try not to doomscroll today, even though Horgan is doing his best to try to kill me.

It’s possible that what I’ve got, hive wise, is actually a mild and late reaction to the AZ shot. If so this will slowly pass. Sigh.

Jeff’s doing a timmy ho’s run and then we’re going to watch Time Team in our LA-Z-BOY CHAIR. Did I tell you folks that we set it up? I had to mess with my half, but it sure is comfy.

RIP MICHAEL COLLINS. You were, as Phil Plait remarked this am, the ultimate team player.

Prince Philip isn’t dead

I announced his death on my blog but it was just wishful thinking.

He’s probably got many minutes of rich life left in him.

I very much enjoyed having home made mac and cheese for breakfast.

I need to spread the joy of biscotti this am.

700 words on UPSUN

I have a doc’s appointment for my prescription renewal tomorrow, and I have called the clinic to confirm my scan appointment. I won’t get a call back unless they’re confused about something.

Miss Margot’s been gone three years (Margot’s song)

Has it been that long? Yes…

This is just me singing in my room, so don’t expect much. Also I had to do about a hunnert takes from crying, so this is the point my mood hit the big red NO MORE button. There was a dulcimer accompaniment but it morphed into another tune.


she was a funny cat – she definitely had more of a sense of humour than most. And she didn’t hold a grudge…. also most uncatlike. This is her consulting on me entering ‘The Evening News’ into Finale.


I have gone where my friends are waiting
Don’t you worry ‘bout me
And it’s not like I could forget you
Or you forget about me

You will miss me lots
Wish it wasn’t so
When I fill your thoughts
You will know I was here
I was here a moment ago

My old bowl is back in the cupboard
And my grave’s in the yard
Your old heart isn’t made of rubber
And you’re taking this hard

All the love you felt for me
Will never go away
It’s in the universe we made between us
and it is here to stay

I have gone where my friends are waiting
Don’t you worry ‘bout me
And it’s not like I could forget you
And you will never, ever forget about me.

on learning that Rush Limbaugh had departed this world

Speak nothing but good of the dead? I shall certainly oblige you in this instance, goodsir, most directly, by ejaculating: “He’s dead? good!”


I have to add, because I am a fucking asshole, that he leaves no children to grieve him, so either he was sterile or the women he married were smart enough not to breed with him. Sometimes a heavy hearted world catches a break.

RIP recording artist Sophie

And they died
climbing up to see the moon
in Athens
and their life
was a goodies reel of cool
the patterns

they are not
for everyone to see
and our lives,
the red carpet,
will never see their light again
pop that bubble in the rain
and dance while you can
remember their joy
remember their name

They made very entertaining bubble gum dance pop.

words and music and pictures

Conflikt Frog

(c)Onflikt is this weekend. All the filking will be done on Zoom. I hope to see the Talis Kimberly concert at least, although I’ll likely need a nap for the hour it’s at.

11179 on Best Roommate. Hug scene today if I can deal with it (this is only going to mean anything to my faithful readermOm.)

Made flower rolls yesterday (and pork patties) and the flower rolls are ALL GONE.

Letters will go off to Mary and Jan M and someone else, can’t now remember, so I’ll probably do a small shopping expotition while I’m out getting sufficient postage on Jan’s package, since I’m almost out of milk.

Effective immediately, no more cloth masks, only N95 or K95 while I’m out. The new variant is incredibly contagious and even if I got COVID in March I can still likely catch and carry it.

I see that some of my pre-posted stuff popped up already, and I don’t really understand how that happened, but I’m going to tuck them back in where they belong if I can.

I’LL BE ABLE TO CONVERT MY MIDI FILES. That is an IMMENSE relief because without that I’d have a hard time filling the entire year of tunes.

I need to review my list of songs again. It’s like an amorphous blob of pulsating weirdness how I don’t actually have a grip on the number.

Mira Furlan has passed at 65 of complications of West Nile Virus. Her role as Delenn was iconic and amazing and she was a hero to both kids, when the grandparents exposed them to B5. Rest in power, Ambassador.