RIP

I won’t say it on social media, but this is my space, so… I’m really sorry about the death in Kamloops of the Snowbirds pilot and await with solemn interest the results of the enquiry.

Also RIP Beyond the Beyond one of the few weblogs older than mine. I wonder how long lived mine shall be.

In better news, I saw Katie and Alex today, and I’m so glad.

Today on twitter I said that Andrew Scheer makes a bag of dicks look like party favours for a charm school picnic.

Mother’s Day

Little Master Alex came by. He’s obviously quite anxious but he played on the deck and in the yard, and we made him a stick and paper battle axe (Minecraft). It was glorious TO HUG KATIE – I didn’t try any of that stuff with Alex – and she gave me two mugs her friend Sherry designed for Mom’s day. We chatted and relaxed. So so lovely.

Later talked to mOm on the phone. And Keith called to wish me a happy mOm’s day so I am feeling the love, it is so wonderful.

Jeff had to go collect a server for a customer and he fixed it so that’s good all round.

Weather was so HOT yesterday. I watered everything. Something’s nibbling on the peas. Bambara beans are not sprouting, sigh. They say it’s going to be 17 today and I bet it will be 24 or 25 before it’s done.

I have no idea if I’ll write today, but there’s always that possibility. Or make masks. Or do any damned thing including nothing.

RIP Jerry Stiller. He and Anne Meara were on Ed Sullivan THIRTY-SIX times. Fave quote: “Creative comedy is like growing geraniums in a mine field.” On their first date she only ordered coffee because she knew he was broke, and then she stole the silverware. ‘I’m going to like this girl.’

 

ah that moment when you’re ripping your bedroom apart trying to find your glasses and you realize you took them off and just LEFT THEM IN YOUR BED but managed not to roll over on them and destroy 450 dollars of eyewear….. Keith would scold, if he knew.

 

more hypochondria and RIP Mel Baggs

Mel Baggs the disabled activist is dead. Sie went into hospital a couple of days ago, not sure why, and hir last post was about how alienating the hospital was. That made me cry.

I must sadly say that I followed hir on twitter for a while and stopped because I found what sie said unchallenging and the way sie said it so annoying that I couldn’t deal with it. I kept wanting to argue with hir or high key mock hir and if there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s not to white lady on people, so I just backed off.

Now sie’s dead and I’m reading her blog. Reading the temporal lobe epilepsy symptoms on hir blog freaked me out, since at various points in my life I’ve had symptoms identical; just never all at once.

I have a deeply weird brain, but I’m quite attached to it. Mel also pointed out that ‘status migraine aura’ is possible which is when you’re in a migraine state all the time without head pain. I’ve gone months like that.

plague year

One of the romancelandia writers I follow is Isobel Carr and she has provided us with a Paper Doll to keep us busy.

People on twitter are begging for cute pictures of pets.

Me, I’m just staying still and trying not to worry.

150k people have been infected that we know of for sure, half of those recovered.

It’s a virus so we may get post viral health problems, it hasn’t been around long enough for us to know.

Laura Smith, a great Canadian singer songwriter is dead in Halifax of cancer. She was beautiful like few people I’ve met in person. She grew eight inches in one year when she was a teenager (spent the summer in bed). She performed a version of All of Me at a house party with a jazz duo while high on cocaine (I found that out later…) that was the best version of it I ever heard. We went to see her at the Yellow Door in Montréal.

She will be missed. I just emailed Paul to tell him as he likely doesn’t know.

China’s going to finish by running the world because Russia and the US and the UK and France will whiff the pandemic. Probably already has plans to secure the nukes. They’ll get enormous populations of white people to get on board by exterminating Muslims. It will take 15 years. They’ll allow hundreds of millions of people to migrate into the Muslim-occupied countries and then they’ll start work on exterminating Black Africans and move Chinese there instead.

brekky with Alex

It’s by no means guaranteed, but we are probably going out for breakfast with Katie and Alex this morning. LATER YES IT IS GUARANTEED they will be here to pick us up in 20.

I got almost eight hours of sleep last night. It was absolutely wonderful. I definitely sleep better when it’s cold in here.

Cousin Alex is not having a good time sleeping these days. Well do I remember my early fifties and I probably have dozens of blog posts complaining about how much I sweated….. menopause is hard, but most of the parturition crowd would say it’s eventually worth it. Don’t forget the Replens, it makes a huge difference.

Feetsball today. Jeff will be thinking of our pOp.

Wrote lots yesterday, trying to get a fic finished.

Image

This is Anastasia Baburova, murdered a decade ago by fascists. She was a student anarchist and journalist. I think she was one of my people… does she look like a Scythian warrior woman to you?

I have learned not to immediately respond to news on Twitter. If it’s accurate someone smarter will have a better assessment and if it’s not you’ve not made a fucking idiot out of yourself at least more than normal.

 

doc

So my doc pronounced herself pleased at my progress and wants to see me in another two weeks. The long acting seems to be working well and apart from a few hours of nausea and the whirlies at the start, no side effects – no dizziness when I stand, for example. Still no appointment for the dementia base line, which is annoying for reasons that I shall not publicly relate.

I was getting migraine symptoms a couple of days back but they’ve lifted. Also on the new formulation I’m sleeping like WHOA that was another 8 hours, holy crap. I’m likin’ that.

Jeffrey Epstein the accused child rapist has apparently killed himself via hanging in prison. I simply cannot believe that someone as wealthy, well-connected and narcissistic as Mr. Epstein would do that, so I have to assume that one of his wealthy ‘friends’ made it happen. After all, he can implicate an heir to the throne of England in his rapey business; there are plenty of people who’d be pleased by this turn of events, who could pay for it to happen.

Of course the autopsy won’t show anything but what needs to be seen. This is absolutely horrible news for justice. And FUCK the people running that jail.

FUCK ICE FOR ARRESTING THOSE 600 PEOPLE IN MISSISSIPPI. The man who owns the plant deliberately hired illegals and then had ICE make them disappear when they sued him for wage fraud! So school kids lose their parents so a fucking rich asshole doesn’t have to pay the wages he owes.

DO I REALLY WANT TO GO TO THE US IN JANUARY.

I’m a white tourist, it would be foolish to think there’s a really big problem for me.

Katie says (she bought me brekky this am) that narcs kill themselves all the time, it’s called ‘the last decision’.

Text of Phyllis’ obituary

CASPELL, Phyllis – Unexpectedly at her residence on Tuesday, March 12, 2019, Phyllis Caspell of London, in her 95th year. Dear mother of Paul Caspell (Allegra Sloman) of Burnaby, B.C., Ruth Caspell (John Suline) of Toronto, and Lois Schmidt (Robert) of Duchess, Alberta. Much loved grandmother of Keith, Kate, Jesse, Kaitlin, Jessica, Lindsay and Caileigh and great-grandmother of Ava, Meadow, Roman, and Alexander. Predeceased by her son John Caspell, parents Colin and Kathleen Palmer and brother Allan Palmer. Cremation has taken place. Friends will be received by the family on Wednesday, March 20, 2019 from 1-2 pm at St. Paul’s Cathedral, 472 Richmond Street, London, ON N6A 3E6, where the memorial service will take place at 2 pm. Interment in Woodland Cemetery, London. In memory of Phyllis, donations may be made to the St. Paul’s Cathedral Memorial Fund. Arrangements entrusted with A. MILLARD GEORGE FUNERAL HOME

angry gesticulating and inarticulate howling

So I found out that one of my fave former church siblings is dead.

And I want to complain about it.

Not because she’s dead, but in consequence of how she was treated before she died.

Now, she had mental health problems, and she was forever going back to her doc to get her meds adjusted.  She started feeling poorly (she was well into her 60s); tired, digestive upsets, dizziness. They adjusted her medication.

She ended up in hospital, and while she was there they found out she had stage 4 lung cancer. They sent her home and she died four days later.

 

F*ck you you *sshole who didn’t check her physical status. You’re a f*cking stain on medicine and I’d stake you to a f*cking anthill in the noonday sun if I had a chance. You decided that a mentally ill woman, a beautiful, sweet, hard working bundle of awesome, was having mental health problems INSTEAD of physical problems and you didn’t even so much as give her a proper workup.

She was ANGRY BEFORE SHE DIED.  She’d been totally f*cked over by the medical establishment.

SO. I know for a fact I have mental health problems, many people do. I don’t take prescription medication because I’m one of those awkward people who hates the seven zillion side effects more than the cognitive relief I might get. And did get, for the four months (WHICH COMPLETELY F*CKED ME UP WITH SIDE EFFECTS) I was taking Prozac. Wellbutrin triggered dissociation and the desire to pick up knives and sink them in my family members, which thank the little fishies went away as soon as I stopped taking it.

And because I don’t go to church anymore I couldn’t go to her funeral, and because everybody assumes I’m connected to the church on facebook nobody called me.

I’m okay with that. I’m not okay how this beautiful person was treated.  Misogyny (oh she’s always complaining about her meds like old biddies do) and ableism (who cares, she’s anxious) KILL WOMEN.

The world can really suck sometimes.

I will remember you, church sibling, as a lover of beauty and a faithful servant of our community. And a super sweet lady. God damn it.

 

Domestic blitz

Yesterday I emptied the dishwasher, prepped raw veggies, baked buns and cookies and turned down offers of exercise.

I also spoke to Keith’s counsellor on the phone hoping to help straighten out this communication thing we have (not) going on. That went well.

AND I SAW BABY ALEX.  Also baby Ellie, who is so food positive that she makes me howl and her mama Jessica obviously. There is nothing in the world like pulling food from the oven and taking it to your grandson to eat.  Everybody was in a really good mood.

John Caspell would have been 64 years old today.