When I’m facing situations
that I cannot handle
pain or grief or pain or moral qualm,
debility or scandal
Even though imaginary
he has got my back.
I refer my troubles to
the famous Colonel Jack

He’ll be quoting Homer
our well-armed bonny roamer
He’ll be quoting Homer
Cos that’s what Jack would do (D’oh!)

I’ll never have the Stargate step through Stargates
or a snake have snakes inside my head brain
My trials and tribulations
are exceedingly mundane
I can hear his voice inside me try a different tack
& he hopes that I’ll speed things up
impatient Colonel Jack

He’ll be making wisecracks
and making for the gunracks
He’ll be making wisecracks
Cos that’s what Jack would do (Crap!)

I’ll never plant C4 upon
a Goa’uld mothership
Or face down torture in Baal’s hands
with no more than a quip
Or wonder how Apophis can
once more give us the slip
But I can be like Jack in life
and fire when I shoot from the hip

He’ll shoot Replicators
and sing out “see ya later!”
He’ll shoot Replicators
Cos that’s what Jack would do (Sweet!)

I wouldn’t have the fortitude
to keep my hands off Carter
“Window of Opportunity”
should have been a two parter
When love and loyalty conflict
he taught me which to choose
Self respect is something that
you never want to lose

He will do the right thing
Even though it’s fright’ning
He will do the right thing
Cos that’s what Jack would do (Oy!)

Published by


Born when atmospheric carbon was 316 PPM. Settled on MST country since 1997. Parent, grandparent.

Leave a Reply