Unsettled arguments

Porn has permanently altered the relationship between men and women in North America.

Jeff is under the impression that research (most of this is non scientific precis) here, here, here, here, here, (showing how public health problems arise from porn familiarization) here, and here, (part of this research is more about how young women are affected by partners’ porn use) and cultural commentary like this is of no consequence.  My observation that men are experiencing sexual dysfunction in eyebrow raising numbers and women are being forced to emulate porn stars just to keep the interest of their partners is dismissed by Jeff as anecdotal.

If it wasn’t for porn, why have stats on word frequency for certain sex acts skyrocketed in the last thirty years?  If it wasn’t for porn, why would Brazilians be so popular?  If it wasn’t for porn why would women and men my kids’ age tell me about how porn and hookup culture have come winnowing through their lives like tornados, leaving busted relationships, shame, sexual dysfunction and very bad vibes in their wakes?  And let’s not forget the contribution of porn to misogyny.  Some poor schmucks watched their way through a lot of contemporary porn, and 90% of the sex acts depicted had the men verbally or physically or sexually abusing the women while the women either stayed blank or appeared to enjoy it.  Young men are often (and yes, anecdotally) surprised when the women they have sex with object to having their faces ejaculated on, or don’t want to have unprotected anal on the first date.  You can say this is poor socialization.  I think it’s porn. Porn changes behaviour.  Monkey see, monkey do.  Monkey do, monkey think.

Let’s get our feet under us, shall we?

I am a pro porn feminist.  I like and consume some forms of porn, and have publicly discussed my porn preferences on this blog, although it was a while back.  There is evidence to suggest that porn availability has dropped the rape stats; that legalization of child pornography decreases child sexual abuse; that pornography can be liberating, enjoyable and a perfectly fun part of whatever the hell it is that passes for a normal sex life in these parlous times.

I do think there is enough evidence to suggest that the inescapability of porn is harming the brains and manners of young people, and that an activity that’s really designed for adult brains is injuring young ones.  I’m not going to try to ban it or bag at the people who make it.  I am going to say that we are, as a culture, participating in a large scale uncontrolled social experiment about the effects of porn, and I predict the long term results for the sexual health of a hefty percentage of Canadians is going to be really, really shitty.

Jeff, given that your contention that porn isn’t a problem for men’s sexual health, would you care to provide the evidence that supports this?


1. Chocolate cake.  Wish we could find Granny’s recipe.  Sifting cake flour for the recipe I use makes verra nice results.

2. Sole, boiled corn on the cob and fresh steamed organic carrots for dinner.

3. Leo and Linda will be here today!

4. Paul took me for a walk in Oakalla yesterday.  We heard green frogs call, and saw bush tits and flickers and a towhee.

5. Still feeling all the feels from our nice afternoon sitting on the deck with Mike.

6. Katie emailed me pics of her two latest paintings. Wow!

7. I can’t imagine what it would be like to have people get out of their cars to yell at you for giving them the wrong GPS coordinates, but that’s what Sandra has to deal with. There is something really fucked up about how GPS handles her location data; but I can assure you SHE knows where she is.  She has made many fine and accurate comments about the map reading abilities of post smartphone people.  At this point the swift death of the human race is the only fix.

8.  The teacher’s strike is over.  I dislike Christy Clark.

9.  Not a single American TV network covered the climate change march even though hundreds of thousands of people attended in New York.  Of course the real existential threat will probably come from another direction since fate is such a witty mofo, but even so.

10.  I am thinking of putting together an Orphans’ Thanksgiving.  I am putting it out there that Katie’s going to go long, but I don’t think I’ll tell her that because she’s ready for the balloon to go up ANY DAY NOW.  Her tummy is itchy and the damned stretch marks.  I remember feeling very put out by them, but it’s a family trait, both sides of the family….