Gratitude

I am so, so grateful for the friends I have. Communication had gotten kinda wonky between us and we had a full free fair frank and productive conversation last night that’s gotten me buoyant again. On two different subjects he and I were viewing the issue from such wildly unadjacent angles that I burst into tears thinking about how horrible it must have been for him. And I got to say how much he means not just to me but to everyone in my close family. You can’t show the people you love that you love them enough, in my view. Telling them is not always the right thing. There are a lot of love languages.

He is The Magician. It is all right.

Anyway, it’s not fixed because it wasn’t broken, but it sure is a lot shinier.

Stuck on editing at the exact halfway point. Last two nights at work were very busy and for nights, yesterday morning was completely and thoroughly insane; twice as many calls as normal and people freaking out and being rude, not my fave. Anyway, I literally couldn’t edit because the second I opened the clamshell the phone would ring again, as it does when you’re getting paid to answer it.

I go back and forth between thinking it’s a piece of crap and finding it mildly amusing. It isn’t as funny as MMCo, that’s for sure. But I think it’s got a little more heft to it.

Phoned a friend to stay in touch after his wife died. He’s doing astoundingly well, for two weeks later, but I just bleed for him. The first year is full of firsts; the first concert you bought tickets for that you were both going to see, and, well, she’s not there anymore.

Whenever I heard a BMW motorcycle for the first year I’d weep. Even now there are days I miss John so much I feel bitey. Then I’ll remember him without tears; with laughter, with gratitude.

Tammy and I keep missing each other on the phone. I hope to catch up to her soon.

I’m starting to build up a head of steam of needing to see Alex. Maybe I can see him today or tomorrow.

Watching facebook friends discover The Expanse makes me happy. Jeff and I call it EGGPANTS! like little kids who can’t pronounce it properly, it’s so exciting.

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Allegra

Born 1958. Not dead yet.

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