Encounters with Wildlife in East Burnaby, part the nummptyeth. So I’m walking in the dark in my new boots (ow, incidentally) back from Timmy Ho’s just now with a bag of croissants. I hear the crow above me give an alarm call and look around for the source. (Vancouver crows are forgetting how to be diurnal – there are a number of places in town where they stay up all night, for example at the Casino next to the highway.)

One, two full-grown raccoons lollop across the street at 6th and 11th. They vanish, but they’re on the street I intend to walk down and I’m immediately uneasy. No raccoon has ever hurt me and these two don’t look sick, but two raccoons is 30 kilos of teeth and claws.

On cue, they *come out of the bushes toward me*, about three metres apart, not looking at me but at the frickin’ full’o’goodies Timmy Ho bag. I grabbed my open jacket front and wave, yell NO I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THINKING and the lil ****ers do a Homer fade into the bushes again.

So …. yesterday I posted a tweet mocking a raccoon AND YOU KNOW THERE ARE NO COINCIDENCES.