Month: April 2018

The absurdly pretty Jensen Ackles doing voice overdubs for work.

The eyebrow raise at the end made me think of Nathan Page.

Little bit of writing yesterday. A fair amount of thinking of plotting. Overwatch is an issue; fixed that by using an operative already in place. (Just imagine how the Oldest feels about that…. Nereus came through.)

 

no writing, but an absolutely exquisite walk down at the Quay including a circumhorizontal arc that lasted over two hours

Here’s an article about Facial Feminization Surgery.

It’s something you do if you’re a trans woman…. and you can afford it. Someone I know on twitter is crowdfunding FFS and so I thought although I consider myself to be a trans ally and have a smidge of street cred I’m not really educated about it.

And this made me fall down a gender essentialist fucking rat hole.

WHY do men and women have different facial structures. WHY?

Wellllllllll,

the first thing is that in real terms they don’t. Everything on a boy’s face is on a girl’s face. With the fractal warping of exterior features that occurs with the genes themselves and the proteins that express them, one starts in one place and ends up someplace else. So bony ridges are masc

BUT WHY?

Eye placement — why?

Then I start thinking about neoteny. Women’s bone structures remain closer to children’s bone structures throughout life. I mean, if I’m reading this article correctly.

Women on average live longer than men.

Men’s head bones  are denser and better able to handle being punched.

It’s science.

BUT WHY? WHY ARE MEN’S FACES SO PUNCHABLE? I mean, better able to take a punch, not pulling me in like a black hole with desire to punch. Only Ajit Pai Martin Shkreli and Ted Cruz affect me like that. Trump? I don’t actually want to be that close to him in all candour.

 

 

 

So yesterday I literally could not keep track of my grandson at the Aquarium (his mother was with him every instant) and an enormous gulf of misery passed over me that I couldn’t keep track of my kin any more. Keith appeared from nowhere and we listened to the symphony of sea lions – one in particular was trying to set records for volume, purity of tone and likeness to the vocalizations of Chewbacca, to tremendous comic effect, which was immediately stripped away when I realized that it was the self-expression of a trapped intelligence. Not a great intelligence, but smart enough to know that it’s swimming around in it’s own shit all day every day.

There were many little gems scattered in the hum of commerce and children. All the moms looked perfect – and miserable. All the dads looked comfortable – and blank. All the kids had expressions that were ready to veer into terror at any time.

Alex seemed to have a good time. He was running around like a fool for most of it.

Four times now Katie’s been to the Aquarium and the octopus has not come out. I come and she’s not just out, she’s clinging to the glass so you have a lovely view of her suckers if you’re an 18 month old toddler. Seriously, she was doing everything but ‘show the beak’ (you never see that unless you are very very intimate with an octopus for months and months and feed it etc).

It is possible I have some octopus-fu. If I do it’s inadvertent.

Another little tweak – passing through the gift shop without the slightest desire to purchase something.

Another little tweak – Keith saying ‘that was fun but exhausting’ afterward.

Another little tweak – being so annoyed with poor little Alex when he was kicking the seat at the restaurant, and seeing that reflected in Katie and Keith. We left soon after.

Feeling topped up with family love but also uneasy at how useless I am as a grandma.

 

45433 is wordcount for HOTM

 

I now know what vinegar strokes are. Do not look it up if you don’t know what they are and definitely do NOT do an image search. Thoroughly researching human sexuality is a challenging activity.

I’m finding it amusing that I have written full on porn for these two characters but will not be directly referencing it in subsequent novels.  So you see the characters before sex and after sex but not during sex.

 

MICHEL IS BACK

I post all fucking day every day on twitter but as soon as I made a comment on a movie in a movie thread my notifications blew up.  Perhaps I should actually try to review movies.

Lovely lovely brekky yesterday morning at the 6th Street Grill with Jeff and Katie. Later that day Katie went out and did something she hasn’t done since she hit menarche – she cut off ALL HER HAIR and now she looks like an anime heroine it’s a super cute cut.

I did precisely one load of laundry yesterday. It’s sitting (dry, for a wonder) downstairs.

 

It was fanfic, but it’s the only thing that still loves me, and I did come up with an idea about George for HOTM. (Sample question… how big is the world if you have to walk it?) I find it interesting that I’m much more interested in the relationship stuff than the porny schmoop right now – I’ve started reading the non-explicit stuff. and this won’t mean anything to anyone but I finally read an A/B/O and while I find the basic concept absolutely disgusting (I won’t go into it in detail, because it is disgusting) it was a really entertaining hurt/comfort fic.

133 words on my fic “Six Months go by like Nuthin'” and about fifty words on fic Weaponized Harmony and I’ll probably go look at the rest of the unfinished fics today.

Speaking of hurt comfort fic, having the (Supernatural TV show) Sam character taking stitches out of the Gabriel character’s mouth is LIKE THEY MIGHT AS WELL FANFIC IT FROM THE GET GO it’s like the mostest classic hurt/comfort trope in history and there’s not a lot of talking …. AH HAH

OH THE PINGING I mean PINING

BOY WHEN THINGS GO WRONG

BIRBS AND MENS

In Indigenous Media News: ZOMBIES VS Mi’gmaq

I DON’T KNOW WHO THIS MOFO IS BUT THEY NEED TO DIE

and some nice news from Antarctica.

 

all I managed to do yesterday was leave the house, eat the worst pho I’ve ever had in my life Pho Edmonds WHAT HAPPENED have a fight with Paul and watch the Big Sleep

I don’t mind having a fight when it clears the air and I emerge with a better calibration on how to behave but refighting a weekly fight of almost 30 years’ duration is not the fight I want at the moment. I had to name the behaviour, set boundaries and go home and I didn’t particularly want to do any of that and it is never a coincidence that when you’re at your lowest ebb you have to come up with your highest self just to get out of a situation.

Even so, and despite the unethical heinous rain yesterday, I did manage to pick up some flower bread, which Jeff and I quite like (from Pekara up the street) and two Nutella rolls, which I gave to Keith with instructions to eat the first and give the second to Katie immediately upon her arrival home as I had a feeling she had a busy day at work.

I’m suspecting that this whole last week has been a migraine. When I’m actually not doing too badly and I feel thrown into a pit like this … but I guess the big thing is that I spent hours and hours this past week essentially being unable to talk … and barely able to think, such was the background noise.

Anyway, JRRT gave me a pep talk this morning in several parts:

“The most improper job of any man … is bossing other men. Not one in a million is fit for it, and least of all those who seek the opportunity.”

I was unaware of this CS Lewis quote and one of the Seattle contingent on my twitter feed shared this re escapism:

“Hence the uneasiness which they arouse in those who, for whatever reason, wish to keep us wholly imprisoned in the immediate conflict. That perhaps is why people are so ready with the charge of “escape.” I never fully understood it till my friend Professor Tolkien asked me the very simple question, “What class of men would you expect to be most preoccupied with, and hostile to, the idea of escape?” and gave the obvious answer: jailers.”

 

laundry

editing, since writing is pointless

actually editing is too but it’s all I got right now

boundaries all broken

I’m going to Iceland next month

Ya…. that’s not happening.

I often have it rough this time of year.  This too shall pass.

I have booked my trip to Iceland and must now pay for it, ha ha.

 

I’m not getting pain but with the allergies I’m getting scintillating scotoma all the time. Boo.

Very nice meal on Saturday with Mike at a Chinese place we hadn’t been to before. (New West Wonton House – which has been in that location 14 years and I’d never even noticed it – driven by it a hunnert times.)

They asked him if he spoke Chinese rather aggressively and he made an apologetic face – a little Cantonese and Toi Shan, mostly food.

The beef with flat noodles was fantastic; the spicy dry green beens even more so, and the wor wonton sucked a mop. Nothing bothered my stomach though, and I had the noodles and green beans for brekky too.

Writing has dropped off a cliff. In fact it’s so bad (plot problems) I want to stop writing completely and find a job; I’ll calm down eventually I suppose.

Pleasant visit from Keith yesterday; he came by so I could pass something along from Mike. Still hoping those two will get together for a games night.