Slimfast and Methadone

Becoming Jane was the other movie from yesterday evening.  Apart from Anne Hathaway’s wandering accent, it was charming.

Hey, just in case any of you thought that the economy was going to get magically better… you have to wonder when stories like this are crawling out from under the rocks.

Today’s tasks.  Laundry.  Clean up “Slimfast and Methadone” in GarageBand (the last verse needs to be re recorded and the bass line goes spastic in the last verse… it’s kinda like listening to a train wreck right now).  Go to party at Doug and LEs and say bye to them honk weep. Buy almonds and eggs and butter and beer.  Not necessarily in that order.

Once Slimfast and Methadone is fixed, I will post an MP3 of it on the site and then I plan to do a Youtube video.

Here in Normandy

There are owls!  Yup, I had earplugs in last night so I didn’t hear them, but Tammy assures me they were hooting away. I have to feed coins into this thing to make it go, but by a special mercy of Providence it has an Anglo keyboard.  The one in Paris justabout slew me.

What to say?  All of France appears to be a particularly aesthetically pleasing method of passing along bacteria.  You greet SHOPKEEPERS with a handshake if you know them at all.  To secure the attention of the waiters, you sing out a particularly cheerful bonjour and then patienter.  But if I ever have any money, I’m going to ask the city of Paris to permit me to install a plaque on the sidewalk in front of the Trinite station which reads in French, on December 1 2008 a Canadian tourist witnessed a Parisien stoop and scoop AND put the deposit in the trash.  So it is possible for miracles to occur – I witnessed it from the window of the Cafe Rotunda.

French children are so well behaved that it’s ****ing scary. 

I highly recommend where we’re staying.  It has a laundry, pool, hot tub, nicely appointed kitchen, a view of the Seine, a view of a forest, and it’s on one of those freaking scary French roads which should be max 80k and of course the dear French folk think nothing of racing down it at night at speeds in excess of 100k, if the engine noise is anything to go by.

Tammy did the driving out of Rouen.  If we’d had the sense to video our trip out of Rouen we could probably make money out of it.  It’s a thousand year old town with streets and signage to match.  If I hadn’t gotten a young man at a gas station to go “Connelles? Oui, je connais Connelles.”  Then he told me to follow the signs for Vernon, which we did, past Igoville PSST LUDDITE THAT’S WHERE TRAIN PARADISE IS!!! and then we ended up on a freaking cowpath which turned out to be the right road after all.  Now today I get to drive, and what a bowl of joy that will be.  It’s a little gray diesel, standard, Peugeot.  But it’s peppy!  And it has a tach!

The library here has books in English, French, Russian, German, Hebrew and there’s even Joe Haldeman’s Forever War.  What more could a girl want?

Best …. line …. evar

So.  There is this filksong called The Mad Scientist’s Love Song which is performed by Lady Miss B and Dr. Filk.  In a startling development, they reversed roles and Dr. Filk got to be the charming assistant.

When I commented that I had never actually seen Dr. Filk in a dress before, this was the response from LMB (emphasis added by moi):

Subject: Re: Dr Filk’s ballgown

My favourite part was how he accessorized with big chunky biker boots.

Okay, no, my favourite part was him saying “Why, what would a day be like
 without a little public humiliation? I’ll probably never find out.”

I AM SO STEALING THAT LINE. 

I’m recovering today from walking all the way from King to Bloor last night.  Met Dave JD at Jump, walked about downtown for a while, ended up at C’est What, and I want to tell you ALL that I will die fulfilled and happy, because I HAVE HAD A BEER FLOAT.  Yes, the C’est What has Hazelnut Chocolate Bitter floats, with whipped cream and ice cream and a maraschino cherry.  Each mouthful had at least four flavours; the final top note of the hops in the Bitter danced on my palate for about 15 minutes before I regretfully had to wake up a bit with coffee and water.  PS, the meal at Jump was solid but there’s no ******* way it was worth $100 even with the alcohol.  Then we walked all the way up Yonge, deking into the Eaton Centre so I could see what it looked like tarted up for Xmas (worth seeing), and then coming back out of the PATH to view the ******* mess they made of the intersection of Dundas and Yonge. 

The entire downtown core is a mess of sodium vapour orange, metallic blue and piercing white LED lights festooned from every lamppost and filling every square; total Xmas yield = + 350 ugly points.  We continued up the street.  The Swiss Chalet I ate at multiple times a week when I was working at the Delta Chelsea is still there.  Many other landmarks are gone but plenty remain.  David’s is still on the corner of Yonge and Bloor with its array of expensive shoes; the Pilot is still there just off Yonge in Yorkville.  As is standard I did most of the talking; sometimes I wonder if Dave ever is thinking “When will she STFU?”  He deked into a CD joint and insisted on picking up a couple of Weakerthans CD’s so you may all be assured that Dave’s role in my life as somebody who forces me to refine my taste while I broaden my horizons continues.

We ended up at Flow for the last drink of the evening and after another fifteen minutes of aimlessly wandering around Yorkville while I critiqued the dresses in the window (Jesus, if I was a man I wouldn’t go near a woman dressed like that, I’d be afraid of getting caught on something, etc.) we decided that fun as it had been Dave had to go to work in the morning, so about 10:15 we packed it in; I came home by cab.

Vancouverites, listen up!  The cab driver ASKED ME IF HE COULD TAKE THE CALL when his cell phone rang.  I don’t know how often you take cabs (I gotsk no car, so I do a lot) but I nearly choked on my tongue when he said that.  I thanked him profusely and tipped him according to his deserts.  Speaking of which, prob’ly the funniest part of the evening was how animated Dave got when lecturing me (humourously, not pompously) about the importance of tipping.  The how, the why, the way it’s an inexpensive and effective way of spreading joy, the importance of not looking like a cheap bastard (I paraphrase).

I think I’m coming back in February.  There’s a play I want to see, and I like going to Toronto for Valentine’s day and hanging with friends – I had an AMAZING time the last time.  It’ll be a little awkward seeing as how I’ll just be back from Belize – current planning – who knows – but frankly now that I’ve figured out that I need to quit travelling on cheap airlines I think I’ll have a lot better time.

PS we leave for France soon.  Happy sigh!

Reason’s Greetings

This, apparently, is the new atheist slogan for the dark time of the year.  I like it!

Tonight, Mando lessons; tomorrow, dinner with the Luddite and hopefully a trip to the steam room.  I could sure use to soak my bones in something warm.

I am really trying hard NOT to think of France. I’m a rotten traveller, I hate airplanes, I nearly died in a plane crash once and I keep thinking of the two or three minutes of sheer terror as the plane falls from the sky.  I’m not skared of being killed, I’m scared of being scared.  Also, I don’t want to pack because it just reminds me I have crappy clothes and I’m going someplace where I’m literally twice the size of the average woman so even if I want to shop it’ll be like going to f*cking Richmond to pick something up at a mall (pitying stares as I look for something larger than a size 8).  My back is hurting so scandalously these days that I’m thinking of saying screw it and getting a prescription for painkillers.  There’s all kinds of stuff I can’t take on a plane so I am going to have to break down and buy regular deodorant (which I loathe) instead of using my homemade stuff, which smells nice on me and doesn’t leave a nasty residue.  There’s a whole long litany of other stuff which I would sincerely like to vent about, and would be well advised not to as probably, tomorrow, I’ll be fine. If I’m not fine, then I would at least have found something different to whine about.

Katie DAMNED WELL better go to school today.

I feel like that giraffe in Robot Chicken.  Enough in-jokes, it’s time to start the day.