Category: Writing

Me brudder is 45
2006-07-31— Posted by: allegra

And I’m not getting any younger myself.

Happy Birfday Ben
2006-07-30— Posted by: allegra

Tom and Peggy’s eldest scion has turned, or will shortly turn, an, uh, interesting and, uh, prime number roughly today or thenabouts. How’s that for useless clues. Anyway, many happy returns of the day, whenever it is/was, young fella!

As for the gent what took a gun into the Jewish Community Center in Seattle and laid a woman in her grave, and put four others in hospital, a word of advice. Hate a Jew because he’s a mamzer, not because he’s a Jew! And if you can manage it, don’t bother hating him at all, lest thou be cast into the outer darkness of those forever condemned to pay retail. Allegra has spoken.

Hi Reck. I’m sure if you are reading this you’re shaking your head and smiling a sour little smile.

Keith and I are just about finished watching the Walking with Dinosaurs series from the BBC. The over the top narration by Kenneth Branagh has gone from being an irritant to being a sort of drinking game, where I try to predict (with about 70% accuracy) which adjective the scriptwriters are going to squeeze into the tired tired sentence. The animation goes from being flicking amazing to being SO FROMIDABLE (that’s so cheesy you resort to French puns) that you don’t know whether to laugh or cry. All told, I’ve actually learned something about dinosaurs, and I’ve learned that Kenneth Branagh pronounces those jaw cracking dinosaur names with the relish of an oenophile at a wine tasting.

Missed the Lantern Festival last night – could not deal with the notion of walking that much. Paul and John went on the bike. There was masses of food at Stef’s place but Paul was the only person who showed up with wine, which was pleasant. Paul says it was more sparsely attended than last year (to which I can only say thank God, as it was WALLTOWALL last year) but the fireworks were wonderful and the ambience also.

Thunder and lightning last night! Very unusual for this part of the year; normally the only time you get thunder and lightning in Vancouver is (strangely enough) in February and March, towards the end of the wet season.

I note that the record high temperatures in the US continue to plague the frail elderly and those without access to air conditioning. I further predict that when the epidemiologists run the death rate stats for this past month they will find out that the number of people who died as a result of the heat will be at least 50% in excess of what appears in the papers currently. This is what happened in Chicago in 1980 when (get this) 1700 people died of heat related causes. That’s a hell of a lot of people. (See Heat Wave, a Social Autopsy of a Disaster in Chicago for further details – a book I believe I have previously referenced in my blog (and no, I haven’t read it but I read a detailed interview with the author.)) Chicago has a heat wave public health plan in place right now, and it would behoove other major American cities to do the same. One hundred and one in Minneapolis – whoda thunkit? Pic scanged from Google Images “Heat Wave”.

Yet another sendoff….
2006-07-29— Posted by: allegra

Venu left the company which cannot be named for a world class organization with lots of scope…. and we toasted him last night at the Golf Course. I snuck inside and paid for one of his beers. It was good to see the usual assortment of folk, and some folks from the engineering department. It was quite a cross functional showing – not as well attended as Lynne’s but still a damned good showing for almost ten years of employment.

The indifferent service (Tammy, our usual server, wasn’t there last night) was ameliorated by the appearance of an extremely skilled belly dancer, who had the hottest costume evah (black veils and gold tinkly coins) and danced like a personification of Ishtar for 25 minutes without breaking a sweat.

Then Paul and I headed over to Mike and Tori’s – Paul got really tired and fell asleep, but I watched most of Kung Fu Hustle, and am looking forward to seeing the rest, as it is one of the most hilarious cultural mashups I have ever seen. I think the Landlady deserved a medal for her role. Then I IMDB’d her (her name is Qiu Yuen) and when I got her backstory I just about flipped. At the time she accepted the role (after Stephen Chow (writer/star/director) bugged her unrelentingly about taking it) she had been out of show biz for almost 30 years, and had only ever starred in one international production “The Man with the Golden Gun”. Roger Moore as Bond, Blech-0-matic. She went to the audition to keep a younger friend company and the rest, as they say, is history. It is difficult to imagine someone else in the role, frankly. Anyway, she started life as a stunt double and martial arts type, learning from Jackie Chan’s master, and when she could find any interesting roles got married and ditched the whole show biz scene. Like Renee Zellweger and Robert DeNiro before her, she went on a special diet to gain 40 pounds for the role. Man, the things people do for money; I’ve put on 40 pounds and nobody’s asking me to star in anything, although I was once asked to be a stand in for GM Place.

Walkies
2006-07-28— Posted by: allegra

Paul and I went for a walk last night. As we were just rounding the corner onto Wedgewood, part of our usual walking loop when we aren’t going into Robert Burnaby Park down to Dinosaur Rock, I thought, Man! that guy sure walks like Tom U. And son of a gun, it WAS Tom. Then I noticed Mike, and they were walking Spud and Tasha together. Happy sigh. Paul was very happy too and immediately started picking Tom’s brains about his Bion-X electric bike, and we walked all the way to Mike’s place. I was walking like a hunchbacked ballerina by the time I got there, but I made it.

And then….

What should be in the fridge but my current third favorite kind of beer in the WHOLE WORLD, Mcauslan Apricot, (Ste Ambroise Blonde and Stella Artois still being my faves), and who should be there but Toribird, looking fine and foxy, if I do say so, in a black tailored shirt and a long camel skirt, and what should she be a-cooking but FRESH blackberry crumble (exactly enough for five people)? It was so amazing that I refused to let either beer or inferior snack foods pass my lips after I ate it, ‘twould have been sacrilegious.

Then Tori and I slipped away into the computer room while the menfolks clacked away in the kitchen and we spent a happy hour reviewing the pictures she took of her mom and step-dad’s Inuit and Newfoundland art collection; more than a couple of the pieces were very old and museum quality, and a lot of them were really interesting. There were two bone pieces in particular that I fell madly in love with, the use of material being so very fine and the execution being so subtle. There were a couple of lithographs (big ones, although you know they don’t look as good on a screen) by Newfoundland artists, that I liked too. All in all a satisfactory evening.

I had been expecting that Paul would walk out to Edmonds with me and we’d catch a 106 bus, but he decided to call a cab instead, to which all I can say is thank God.

A broken night’s sleep (I got COLD in the night, what an ingrate after this hot spell) and nevertheless, this morning I feel just fine.

Dreamed that Kira and another cat got into a bath full of warm water, but by the time Janice and I could take a picture, they’d gotten out and were drying themselves off. Cats; magisterial even in my dreams. The rest of the dream starred nobody I know, but I was busy chasing a tall female clown named Giraffe through the subway system of an unnamed city for reasons completely unknown. Damn! How do I put up with all this excitement???

Oh….. my ……. God…….
2006-07-27— Posted by: allegra

Okay, when you look at this picture, I want you to be doing a mental mashup of two songs…. Frank Zappa singing Give Me Your Dirty Love and The Man on The Flying Trapeze. These two slugs are having sex while hanging from a thread of slime; I am assuming that this was as the result of long negotiations along the lines of I’m so tired of sleeping in the wet spot.

And one of the slugs said, hey, wait a minute! I have an idea!!! why don’t we crawl up the side of somebody’s house and do it til our eyestalks hurt!!!!

Credit Jan G in Courtenay. Honestly, Jan, you should take up wildlife photography professionally, seeing as how we keep finding the weirdest shiat in your yard.

It only remains to be added that the slug is the totem creature of my, uh, well, one of my family members; my morning, nay, perhaps my week, are made rapturously glorious by this photo.

I had no idea
2006-07-26— Posted by: allegra

Large chunks of Queens NY were out of power for a week. I knew things suck in Kulifornya as well, but this picture is kinda eerie. The cops set up a light tower for public safety. Photo credit Chang W Lee NYT

Bush Pilot
2006-07-26— Posted by: allegra

Bush Pilot

Janice forwarded this. Since it has subtitles, you don’t even need a sound card to enjoy this little bit of Teutonic teasing.

Life is a series of small disappointments
2006-07-25— Posted by: allegra

Windows Movie Maker doesn’t like the format of the family movie discs pOp sent me.

Katie called at midnight for a ride into town from Maple Ridge, having missed the last bus. $45 worth of physio went up the flue; I drove, not wanting to waken Paul or Keith, who were sleeping peacefully in the tent. I’m very stiff and sore this morning.

Work contains the prospect of a ‘group shot’ for the company newsletter today, which means I have to dress for it. Considering that it’s legal for women to go topless in Canada, they may not like what they get.

I forgot to take cash out of the bank, which means I have to get to a bank machine between now and the time work starts, and then find some kind soul to grab the shelf I ordered and put it in my workspace until Paul can pick it up with the car tomorrow morning.

I really really really wanted to go to Jericho Beach Folk club this week as I have lots of new songs to debut but I suspect it would be a really bad idea -more sitting is NOT what I need right now.

On the plus side, my friend Bonnie called and set up a dinner date for when she and her spouse and her spouse’s kid are in Vancouver in August.

And I talked to Tori. Happy Birthday Mike!!!!

I also got a care package from Janice in the form of a bunch of books, one of which bears the proud title “Revenge of the Cootie Girls” and somebody, I do not know who, in Seattle has seen fit to provide me with the first DVD series of Black Books, which is completely unlike any other TV I’ve ever seen, in that it veers from Kafka-esque “The world has gone mad” bleakness to evil satire to unbelievably funny sight gags (the cup sticking to the table comes to mind) and it all starts with a man choking on the Little Book of Calm. Any series that has as the name of its accountant Nick Voleur can’t be all bad.

I can’t fecking sit any more so I’d better do my exercises and see if I can’t manage 4 hours of work today. Oh, look, lovely, a migraine sign. (Little flashies, probably triggered by way less than adequate sleep.) Bye.

Virago 535
2006-07-24— Posted by: allegra

Dave D has a new/used 96 scoot. Obliviously this pic looks way better in its original size, but even so, here’s the skinny:

Here is a photo of my new cruiser down at Jericho beach on Saturday night. For you photo enthusiasts the shot was taken with my Nikon D200 at 200ISO, f5.6 at 8 sec. and 2 slave flashes in addition to the main flash on the body.

Monday, Monday
2006-07-24— Posted by: allegra

I was all rested up on Sunday… my back was fine, etc. Then I had a horrible nightmare this morning (a torture dream, and the lighting was really bad, so you know it felt real). I’m not going to describe it but sleep afterwards was a theoretical construct so I got up after Kira came and gave me a consoling kiss and gave her some crunchies. Now the dawn sky is pink and gray. I should take pics of the tobacco flowers, they are so pretty.

Also, mOm, the set on tomatoes that were white two days ago are now pale green. The universe is therefore unfolding as it ought. There are about ten spaghetti squashes set on and more tomatoes than I can count.

The plum tree has set on with a vigour that I attribute to faithful waterings and Paul having laid down compost. The fig closest to the driveway is so laden that it’s really remarkable – it too responded to a watering. I really should trellis the grapes; I promise I will next year. I’m going to try to grow plums from the pits this year. I explained container growing of potatoes to Keith and I may have sparked some interest, only time will tell.

Pic, which I hope I didn’t post earlier, is from the Lake Crescent trip. The gates to the local grass area in Port Washington were done up like bamboo, very nice. Anyway, a pic of me behind bars is a good thing. Very Monday like.

It’s 86 degrees already
2006-07-23— Posted by: allegra

I don’t think the house ever really cooled off yesterday; Paul slept in the tent and I don’t really blame him; it was frying hot.

After all these months of trying to train Kira to kiss me to get her breakfast, I was startled as hell to have Zeek! wander up to me this morning, and instead of patting and scraping me gently with his claws extended, as he generally and in a very unwelcome fashion does (this is why he is normally banned from the bedding), he got up in my face and kissed me very gently on the nose. I said, GOOD BOY and leaped out of bed (okay, moved expeditiously out of bed) and fed them. I wish words could describe how startled I was. The only other thing I’m thinking of applying training techniques to is the way Kira cycles around Zeek! at about 90 miles an hour, crying softly, while Zeek! stands there and hairy eyeballs me (occasionally venting a raspy and MOST displeased caterwaul) while the two are waiting for dinner. I hope someday to be able to capture it on film and then train them to do it when I want, which is dopey to put on the wish list, but it’s so very cute to see.

Enough about cats.

I made iced coffee for breakfast. The idea of drinking something hot right now has very little appeal.

I recently had reason to try liquid bandages (location, basically); they sting like fury going on but they actually work. They come in a can and cost about $14 for 40 applications.

Frank Magazine is being published in tangible form again. They occasionally achieve their previous depths of bilious mojo, but they are still pretty inconsistent. What I do to support Canadian satire….

Dr. Filk, Filkola, Peggy and Tom are off at a housefilk in Snohomish; apparently the Tapioca Song will be exposed to that select group at that time.

Met Wade, the new beau, and like him.

Sundry & various
2006-07-22— Posted by: allegra

Jack Warden is dead. He was the fast talking salesman in Twelve Angry Men, which Keith and I recently watched. He was 85.

It’s 86 degrees F at the thermometer in the upstairs. It got to 90 inside yesterday. The house is markedly hotter since we got rid of the trees in the south facing yard. Sigh.

It came as a surprise to Paul that Janice tucked three summer dresses into a bag that came back from Seattle this last time; I am wearing the Delft blue and white one, as it’s the thinnest piece of cotton clothing that I have in the house right now. I did my morning exercises in complete slow motion, but I am still wringing wet. Keith is wandering around saying things like “Would I look good in a sarong?” to which my answer was an unequivocal yes.

We get to meet Katie’s new boyfriend today.

Said goodbye to Lynne yesterday – she is departing to go to a company that markets wine and coolers. We all volunteered to assist, of course. I think even the departee was blown away by how many people showed up. I wasn’t. She is much liked, with that irresistable mix of smartass competence and mushy sentimentality that seems to characterize so many of my beloved cowirkers. Including me, if I may be so bold as to claim competence. Anyway, I did a tequila shooter with her and Brian at the golf course, just to keep myself in good fighting trim.

Couldn’t leave it there, of course. It is now officially gin and tonic weather so we stopped off at ze store, loaded up, and then drank G&Ts on the back deck while a breeze (thank God) picked up. Considering that I drank more yesterday than I have since, uh, probably Christmas of last year, I am amazed how cheerful and lively I feel this morning, given the weather.

Pic scanged from

http://www.blogjam.com/2006/07/20/pepto-bismol-ice-cream

Baby Black Rhino
2006-07-22— Posted by: allegra

Cute, hunh? Born to mom Circe at a zoo in Florida

I am going to be asking for a public enquiry
2006-07-21— Posted by: allegra

…. into the response of the Canadian diplomatic folks on the ground in Lebanon to the evacuation crisis. I guess I already know the answer “This is what 40 years, more or less, of candy ass Liberal appointees, rather than fully qualified people does.”

Fresh blackberries
2006-07-20— Posted by: allegra

There are native wild blackberries along the trail in to work and I ate some this morning. Yum.

The Bible tells me so
2006-07-20— Posted by: allegra

http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff/0,2106,3736210a11,00.html

I imagine eventually the link will disappear, so I provide the condensed version. Jesus wants you to hit your child….

Pyoo
2006-07-20— Posted by: allegra

http://ottsun.canoe.ca/News/National/2006/07/20/1693346-sun.html

Swearing to Success
2006-07-20— Posted by: allegra

Check out Mark Fiore’s Flash today…. http://www.markfiore.com/animation/swear01.html

Sent off the music and lyrics to Housewife’s Lament to my ma yesterday, and I have printed out copies ones for the El-Villa crowd as well (Tom and Peggy and Filkola). Right. That’s 21, only uh, 88 to go. So far. Worked up a couple of other tunes last night but I thought they were too twee, so I went to bed. If they’re still in my head the next time I play the mandolin (I’ve been playing everyday, and it shows, fortunately) I’ll keep em, otherwise they go back to the Big Song Factory in the Sky. Sure wish I could remember the tune to “A Passage to Atlantis”. All I have is the lyrics I gave to Paul to write down and I haven’t the foggiest what the tune is, except that I remember it was pretty good. Pic is something I picked up after image googling “little furry animals”.

Visiting
2006-07-19— Posted by: allegra

Paul and Keith are off to Seattle, and Katie’s only coming home to change her clothes. And run off with the hair straightener, the little weiner. Now that she has a job the dishes are starting to pile up; she’s actually working all this week, full time, to cover for a person on vacation, and they are making noises about taking her on full time for the rest of the summer, so she’s learning how to prep and cook as well. She figures no matter what happens she’ll be able to get a job, after her experience with this restaurant. I’m talking to her every day, but let’s just say that her current existence is configured in such a fashion that the family home doesn’t have much appeal.

Look what happens when you try to tell the truth
2006-07-18— Posted by: allegra

http://www.fromthewilderness.com/free/ww3/070506_offices_burglarized.shtml

You can put in a tsunami warning system
2006-07-18— Posted by: allegra

But if your government is inefficient and corrupt, you’ll still be hooped. I light a candle for the victims of the stupidity in Jakarta, subsequent to the earthquake. The smart ones headed for the hills, and now they have no food and no blankets and have been told they can’t go back because of aftershocks.

There are interesting comments on the cbc.ca website about what it’s like being a Canadian citizen in Lebanon right now, I recommend the reading.

Off to work soon, and feeling much better after traction at the physio yesterday.

Tain’t all doom n gloom
2006-07-17— Posted by: allegra

http://www.ncpamd.com/On_Beyond_Ritalin.htm

To protect the, uh, well, let’s not go there. But anyway, somebody sent me the link and I heartily recommend it to anybody reading this who might, uh, be in training to be a pharmacist.

blood in Lebanon
2006-07-17— Posted by: allegra

It is with horror and sorrow that I must report that my colleague’s sister-in-law is clinging to life in a hospital in Lebanon. The Israeli bombs landed in the middle of a village; she’s badly burned and she lost both a leg and her mother-in-law in that attack.

I offer prayers to whatever deity will hear me that this ‘measured response’ doesn’t turn into a full scale global conflagration. And I pray for her swift recovery.

Family stories
2006-07-17— Posted by: allegra

With my red red hair

and my permanent wave

ignoring the elders

as they rant and rave

it was such as me

Jesus came to save

Mary, bootlegging Mary.

*

Now Katrina is the only one who’ll talk to me

And next to Jesus, she’s the only one

Who’s heard the sad tale of my history

Why I’ve done the things I’ve done

I sold myself to feed my little son

In the years between the wars

And I comfort myself on the nights I can’t sleep

that Jesus walked with publicans and whores

*

With my red red hair

and my permanent wave

ignoring the elders

as they rant and rave

it was such as me

Jesus came to save

Mary, bootlegging Mary.

*

Family reunion
2006-07-15— Posted by: allegra

I behaved reasonably well, except when my mother announced that there is positively no drinking and no smoking on the Columbia Bible College grounds. I said, Aw. And a horde of Mennonites made me sing “The Housewife’s Lament.” It was the biggest crowd I’d played for in many a year, and Lexi came up to provide moral support. Then Barry and Lexi and I sang up a storm in the car coming home, including many songs of a vastly irreligious nature.

Delicious Irony – Boom Shiva in Toronto
2006-07-14— Posted by: allegra

http://eye.net/eye/issue/issue_07.13.06/food/food.php

This restaurant review, from eye magazine in Toronto, refers to my darling friend L.E.’s youngest son’s new restaurant. This is quite possibly one of the funniest positive reviews ever, and here’s Corey’s comment, “Reader discretion warning! This review is not for all ages. It contains coarse language, adult situations, and mature content. Also Jewish-liberal-media lies.” Oh, and the kitchen’s open 6 – 12, brunch on the weekend. Hey, Dave!!!! Take Jo here!!!!

Family reunion starts today
2006-07-14— Posted by: allegra

I can’t find my registration package, so I don’t know where I’m going. Sure hope my mother calls me.

Kelvingrove Museum July 2006
2006-07-13— Posted by: allegra

various
2006-07-13— Posted by: allegra

It rained pretty solidly yesterday so the lawns have all greened up. One of the tobacco plants has set on flowers, and the volunteer tomatoes and squash in the fenced yard are flowering.

I had the best physio evah yesterday, Kevin put me in traction in the granniest looking bondage gear I have ever seen. I come a dancing out of the machine, and he just gives he that look that physios seem to have perfected, (sort of “I Pity The Fool”) and says, well, enjoy it, it won’t last. And it didn’t, but my range of motion is wider and it did endorphin rush wonders for my mood.

Jessica D slept here last night, Katie is up but incapable of reasoned speech, Keith is still asleep, and I have to throw on my clothes and straighten my hair and fly; ah, work! How happy I am to return to your confines!!!

Paul is back at about 4 pm today; I’ll be getting him from the station so I don’t have to drive too much. Sigh, I miss Tish and Terry.

Cupid’s arrow
2006-07-12— Posted by: allegra

This is a Limpkin. It is having a rough day. The animal rescue people can’t catch it to treat it.

How about a Japanese toilet training video
2006-07-12— Posted by: allegra

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-UJXCw6vyk

I guess things are a little different over there. Animated urine and feces that are happy to be flushed with pride? Okay, admit you’re curious, but don’t watch it, whatever you do, or your brain will explode. Protein Man is responsible for sending me the link to this abomination. Says everything you need to know about his friends…. Okay, it’s cute, but it’s still an abomination.

I’m officially a huge Neil Gaiman fan. I love the Sandman.

Off to the airport. Keith is going to be with me for the drive back in case I run into difficulties. Wa, bye Tish and Terry.

We had a big salmon cookout last night. And scallops, and oysters. And green salad, fresh asparagus, new potatoes, homemade guacamole and then fresh fruit for dessert.

My dad has been sending rips of the HOURS AND HOURS of family video we took in the early days of the kids. I have enough video of Keith clogging his diaper to run a frikkin feature film, and nothing of Katie (standard second child bs) and so it was amazing to see when Paul took Katie to Pemberton when she was about 10 and rode horseback, etc etc. But the tapes show up in the house bearing legends like “Tape 21” and so there I am am trying to figure out how to label things. One was 90 minutes of relatives at Christmas each talking louder than the last and eating like they’re all expecting to get shot the next morning. Any time I open my mouth on this tape it’s to criticize Paul or to ask my mother if she’s spilled something on her shirt (I’m thinking “Who is this frikkin cow who doesn’t have a nice thing to say?”). Paul, despite the fact that he has masses of black hair, is actively uglier than he is now. I really am happy Paul got better looking. I didn’t, but so it goes.

I suppose I’m happy I’m not as much of a cow as I used to be, except for the avoirdupois, so I have learned that I’m a nicer person than I used to be, which I suppose is okay.

Syd Barrett is dead
2006-07-11— Posted by: allegra

He was only 60. Shine on, you crazy diamond.

Three burials
2006-07-11— Posted by: allegra

On my brother’s heartfelt recommendation, we rented it. The first thing Keith said about “The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada” was “Cool, Barry Pepper, the sniper from Saving Private Ryan.” The second thing, which sort of encapsulates why I’d love him even if he wasn’t my kid, is, “Marco Beltrami, what else did he compose for?” That’s the kind of remark I made at his age, happy sigh.

Well, kiddo, how about Hellboy, I, Robot and Terminator III. So yeah, you’ve seen the name before. It was a good score, too, creepy and effective.

Tommy Lee Jones did a creditable job as director. Even if he never directs another film, he’s added to the body of film in a really good way. I only really have one objection to the film, and that’s the corpse. Seven to 10 days in the west Texas heat and he would have been twice normal size and black as a hunk of anthracite. I know I’m supposed to swallow the magic realizm, but when everything else about the movie is SO rooted in reality, a magic corpse just doesn’t fit. Anyway, the movie has both violence and long dead Mexicans in it, but it didn’t stop me from being entirely engrossed. Pic is Tommy Lee directing.

Today’s pic of the sun
2006-07-10— Posted by: allegra

http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/astropix.html

I get really sad when I think of the decommissioning of the Hubble – 2008 at the latest — but we still have some good pictures coming to us.

Up at five to do exercises and shove things into corners before Paul gets home, and then, back to work. I’m feeling purty good about it, really.

And THEN Nicky is coming over to review my songs. Did a recount last night, it’s up to 109. I’m thinking of a Sandman filk next, and then a Strangers in Paradise filk. Happy sigh. Got my work cut out for me.

Food and music
2006-07-09— Posted by: allegra

The Tom and Peggy gang have fed me again. Yum barbecue. Then we had an abbreviated singing and playing fest including tunes of newness, with sides of foot massage. Paul is on the Island visiting rellies, back tomorrow.

The Merman Lover
2006-07-08— Posted by: allegra

A maiden walked upon the shore
And listened to the wind, saying
"If I understand the sea and sky
I'll know how time begins."

Her lover of the merfolk;
She'd not even touched his hand
For she could not live in the sea
Nor could he, on dry land

And the moral of this story
And the point you've got to see
Is for all its grace and glory
It never happened to me.

The merman rode the swaying waves
And gave her options three
"I'll kill myself, or I'll kill you
Or we'll part company"

"For you to kill yourself my lord!
Lamentable! kind sir.
I'm sure that I could live without you
If you'd take no hurt!"

He rode the waves a while before he said
"So shall it be!"
And sad they were of voice and eye
As they parted company

And the moral of this story
And the point you've got to see
Is for all its grace and glory
It never happened to me.

Neil Gaiman Sandman
2006-07-08— Posted by: allegra

Hey Alan, as mentioned I am reading the above noted, (I – III, V) and what I didn’t mention is that I read one issue – just one – at your house on Montrose – it was in one of the digests. The susurrus of recognition was very Gaimanesque. Hey Janice, I dreamed you were helping me straighten out my library last night. !! I was charmed. Sure wish I knew where that dream house was, it was big enough for you and me and ALL OUR FRIENDS (that’s more like a hotel – the kids were there, don’t know where the menfolks were). Like, I woke up thinking, great house, but I think we’d need professional help keeping it clean….

Katie said when she came in last night “I was busier than hell my feet are killing me I don’t like drunks UFC sucks I am peeling like anything and I’m going out with Jessica and some gay buddy of hers who has a car my first cheque was $77 I’m glad you told me to keep a journal of my hours I’m going to check to see if they got it right see ya bye.” More or less in one breath. Whoever this guy is, he has a compulsion to keep cutting Katie’s hair, which is shorter every time I see her.

Soon, laundry. Ack.

Talked to Tori last night, we’ll be going for a walk on Sunday, if we are not both helpless cripples (her from her job, me, just per usual).

Soon, laundry, ack.

Misery me, where is the power supply for the wireless modem???? It’s like the bookbears ate it.

Aislin – the best since Macpherson
2006-07-08— Posted by: allegra

Cousin Gerald forwarded this…. nuff said.

Duncan Macpherson was an amazing Canadian political cartoonist with the Toronto Star from the 50’s to the 80’s. My parents loved him so much they bought one of his originals, which still hangs on the wall in their house. Anyway, Aislin has inherited his mantle, etc.; long may his pen drain his bile.

enough sleep
2006-07-07— Posted by: allegra

I guess I like running pictures of weird skull xrays, as well as baby animals and moose.

Not enough sleep
2006-07-07— Posted by: allegra

I shouldn’t have, because I’m sore as hell today, but I went to the midnight showing of Pirates II with Lil Cthu under my arm and a leather headscarf and a kind of piratical vest and boots get up. Go see it; it’s easily the best popcorn fest we’ll have this summer.

Whoever plays Davy Jones should get an Oscar for most convincing emoting with a hundred pounds o rubber on yer head. aMAZing CGI.

Back to work Monday but Doc Fuller says don’t do more than 4 hours a day. This is exactly what I wanted, because I simply can’t deal with being off work any longer, but I was dreading, just dreading, going back to work full time because I figured I would end up with a full scale relapse. Now I am going to go lie down; I am trashed, just like the physio said I would be after the neurological exam.

One pic…..
2006-07-06— Posted by: allegra

I’d have pictures……
2006-07-06— Posted by: allegra

……of the Garibaldi hike, but Paul is being a bum (ie too busy) and didn’t upload the pix yet. Terry and Paul are going off to the air show in Arlington WA; Tish is going off to see her sis in Courtenay; Keith is hauling a full shift at Stuporstore today; Katie is hauling an afternoon at, uh, the restaurant, and then, oh then, Pirates II although I’d better do my exercises if I’m gonna be leaving the house today – and then a cab home, cause no car after a midnight showing, cause Paul’s in Arlington. Sigh. I wish I could go to the airshow, but I simply can’t walk that much yet. Tish did the Garibaldi hike with shooting pains in her leg (she’s got the same ailment I do but is many years post injury) so she’s obviously made of much sterner stuff than I. I am stiffer than a hatch cover today, no doubt because I tried to sleep without a back support like a normal person. Well, I’m not normal.

Katie broke up with her boyfriend, did I mention that? I liked him, but C’est la Vie.

To the couple who are going to have anaesthetic style surgery this week upcoming, my prayers, useless as they may be, will be offered up to Eris and Loki for your prompt and chaos free recovery, da bot’ of yuz. Paul will be calling about transportation today.

I was going to visit my brother this weekend, but I won’t know for sure until tomorrow morning around noon after I get out of the Spinal Clinic. I wrote a song named Spinal Clinic.

I’ve actually been writing songs like it’s 1991, which I think was my best year ever, and normally the best song I write all year is in November, usually the week before my birthday, so I’m looking forward to whatever gravel the Muse kicks onto my bed for the duration of the year. I even started something last night and all I have is the chorus: The moral of the story/ and the point you’ve got to see/ is that for all its grace and glory/ it never happened – to me. (The song is going to be about singing a story that doesn’t belong to you, sort of a meditation about cultural expropriation. I mean, would anybody WANT to hear a song about how I really feel right now? Christ, even *I* wouldn’t. So I have the chorus, and I think I am going to start off with the single most trite image I can think of – a maiden walking by the sea. Then baby Cthulhu comes, and she pets it. And it eats her leg, and she’s unhappy, until it eats the rest of her, and then spits out her leg bone, which haunts her lover until he is driven mad and jumps off a cliff. Yes. Happy sigh. Even if all I ever have is the chorus, I’ll be fine.)

Ken Lay’s dead. Any bets on whether the US Gov. will pursue his estate for court costs, or will he be chuckling over that lapse into his gin and brimstone with the Big Red Dude? Yah mon.

not enough sleep
2006-07-05— Posted by: allegra

Off to Mike’s yesterday after physio to drink painkillers (in this case, Guinness) and help him do a spot of cleaning prior to Tori’s arrival back from Montreal. I didn’t vacuum because that involves stooping, but nothing stopped me from doing dishes (standing and lying down are okay, no sitting, no stooping). Spud and Tasha (the dogs, see previous pics) are doing fine; Spud is as flatulent as ever (like HOOOEEE, give your head a shake). Heather dropped by and Mike fed us REALLY good spag and sauce (mmmm, cilantro) and then drove me home about 10, which is good, because I was dreading taking the bus; I thought about walking but my leg wasn’t buying the notion.

I haven’t heard from Paul, but I imagine there’s no reception where he is… up a mountain someplace.

Woke up at three thirty. Bleaghh. I slept without a proper back support and I’m sore as hell this morning.

Katie and Keith both work today.

Church of the Holy Cross
2006-07-04— Posted by: allegra

This is on a logging road near Pemberton! Isn’t it pretty. John Lehmann took the picture, scanged from Globe and Mail via Sandy.

Short list
2006-07-04— Posted by: allegra

I only have two things to do today; see the physiotherapist (which I desperately need to do, as houseguests and back pain don’t mix too good) and work on the homily for the family reunion. This being about all I’m up for this is a good thing.

Guests departing….
2006-07-03— Posted by: allegra

Alan and Janice are due to leave, and Terry and Tish and Paul are going up to hike Black Tusk. Pic is of Janice at Tam Tam’s.

We ate at Horizon’s yesterday, thanks to Alan; then the 8 of us wandered around the rose garden and the Ainu sculptures and then drove all the way to the International Gelato place at Glen and Venables. Altogether a satisfactory day…….

Emergencies make for strange friends
2006-07-02— Posted by: allegra

This picture, taken by Pawan Kumar and scanged from Fark.com, came about because it is very wet in parts of India right now. I am sure the frog has a headache. Isn’t there a nursery rhyme about this? The frog he would a-wooing go, heigh ho Anthony Rowley?

Squid knees
2006-07-02— Posted by: allegra

Time to worship our squid Pavlova overlords. Damn, but that was one good meal we ate last night! mOm, you simply MUST meet Filkola at some point. She is a dessert cook of the finest water, but likely will not be in dessert making mode when she meets you, so you are SAFE. Ha ha. Safe being defined in some new and strictly caloric sense. Oh, tell pOp that one of the local fetish nights (dress up in candid and unusual clothing, rubber, etc) had a guy dress up as a baby Cthulhu (amazing costume, by report) and enlisted a DOZEN scantily clad baebes to worship him. Now that’s what I call entertainment. If they didn’t have techno so loud that your drink spills out of your glass when you’re standing still, I might go back. Anyway, that’s it for today’s SQUID report.

Next up, picture the hospitality that feeds 6 total strangers joyfully and you have the picture of Tom and Peggy’s house last night. They fed us broccoli and hollandaise sauce, corn on the cob, three kinds salad, mashed potatoes, garlic bread, teriyaki chicken and beef burgers and portobello mushroom burgers from the grill and then squid Pavlova for dessert with MASSES of fresh fruit, some of which I picked off the truly productive raspberries on Tom and Peggy’s deck, and coffee. And then we sang, and I premiered my song “Just call me Clem,” which is a Buffy Filk.

Full house
2006-07-02— Posted by: allegra

Here’s a pic of a barred owl Paul took yesterday at Widgeon Creek. They all hiked up to the falls….

Houseful
2006-07-01— Posted by: allegra

Tish, Terry, Lois, Connie, Alan and Janice are all here. Really full house. Good thing we have two bathrooms and Paul put a pressure balancer on the water system.

Sis-in-law LOIS is coming!!!!
2006-06-30— Posted by: allegra

We are now putting people in tents in the backyard!!!! And on top of everything else, Peggy and Tom have invited us ALL to dinner on Saturday; think of the magnificence of people who go, COOL, 8 extra people for dinner! And then music afterwards. Yes please!

Sis-in-law LOIS is coming!!!!
2006-06-30— Posted by: allegra

We are now putting people in tents in the backyard!!!! And on top of everything else, Peggy and Tom have invited us ALL to dinner on Saturday; think of the magnificence of people who go, COOL, 8 extra people for dinner! And then music afterwards. Yes please!

Weird physics
2006-06-30— Posted by: allegra

http://www2.le.ac.uk/ebulletin/features/2000-2009/2005/08/nparticle-82w-fqr-2cd

go scotus!!!
2006-06-30— Posted by: allegra

The Supreme Court of the US has handed the neo-cons their balls in butcher’s paper, having remembered a little something called the US Constitution. Military tribunals for Guantanamo detainees is, uh, illegal, and it came down 5 – 3. Yee the freak HAW!

And a formal apology for the Head Tax from the Harper Government. I’m good with that too!!

Now let us see what happens with queer and reproductive rights……

Where’d everybody go?
2006-06-29— Posted by: allegra

When I got up this morning, the kids were gone. You know your kids are adults when YOU sleep in and THEY go to work.

Since people keep asking me, my back is no better. The neuro appointment is early on July 7th. More physio today.

I have asked for, and will receive, professional help in getting my songs written out. I am vastly relieved.

Spoke to Paul – he’s at Sandy’s Red Deer Lodge and Campground in Madawaska ON, low impact eco tourism at its finest, in a beautiful setting of trails, rivers and waterfalls, perfect for canoeing, hiking, fishing, hunting (in season), birdwatching, amateur astronomy, nature photography, fungus hunting and lazing around doing sweet Fanny Adams. (End of commercial plug, but every word of it is true.) He’s been making himself useful and canoeing, so he’s a happy boy. Next up, he’s getting to Cornwall to pick up Tish and Terry and bring them back here.

I miss work. The lack of structure is killing me.

Morning all
2006-06-28— Posted by: allegra

Watched Big Broadcast of 1938 last night. It goes from sophistication to corn so rapidly, and so many times, that I felt as if my critical senses had to be remounted on ball bearings. A remarkable cultural artifact.

Jazz quotes:

http://www.allaboutjazz.com/php/jazzquotes.php

Agnes DeMille quote:

There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening
that is translated through you into action
and because there is only one of you in all of time,
this expression is unique. 
And if you block it, 
it will never exist through any other medium 
and be lost. 
The world will not have it. 

It is not your business to determine how good it is 
nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. 
It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, 
to keep the channel open. 
You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. 
You have to keep open and aware 
directly to the urges that motivate you. 
Keep the channel open.

Snake on a plan
2006-06-27— Posted by: allegra

from nmherps.blogspot.com

The hard working garbage collectors of Burnaby
2006-06-27— Posted by: allegra

For reasons best known to themselves, the hard working garbage collectors of Burnaby (FULL POINTS if you recognize the literary reference) came by this morning with a radio BLARING out the side of the truck. Katie and I were blasted out of bed and foregathered in the kitchen cursing under our breath.

FINALLY GOT AN APPOINTMENT to the spinal clinic, woo hoo. It’s for the DAY BEFORE I’m scheduled to go back to work, ditto, ditto.

Completed another song and fired it off to the archivist. SORRY ABOUT all the ALL CAPS. I’m feeling a bit more lively today, belike.

No, duh
2006-06-26— Posted by: allegra

http://www.prev.org/prc/prc_summary_gruenewld_aov.html

A study proves that the more bars there are in a neighbourhood, the rougher it is. Like, as in, more violent.

No blog this am, sorry.
2006-06-26— Posted by: allegra

Starlings
2006-06-25— Posted by: allegra

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6815781973393100875

Very funny nature video. Don’t watch from Dialup….

Unintentional humor
2006-06-25— Posted by: allegra

Downunder websites have headlines like: Impressive Wallabies beat Ireland, which leads me to think that perhaps the Irish involved had been drinking pretty hard that day. I mean, Christ, wallabies aren’t THAT big.

enough sleep
2006-06-25— Posted by: allegra

Paul’s off to Ontario to haul people back and forth, etc. (on airline passes). My mother is bugging me to finish the homily for the family reunion. I established only last night that it’s supposed to be 10 minutes long, so at least I have a better idea of HOW MUCH blather I am supposed to produce…

Kate’s at her boyfriend’s, Keith’s in bed asleep, Dr. Filk is at PondFilk (Paul at the last minute coughed up the motorcycle keys, thank Goddess) and all is more or less right with the world. I wrote a song yesterday, or applied words to one I’ve been working on for a month. My mother wanted to know where it came from, and I can only paraphrase Willie Nelson; songs are in the air, all the time, and all you have to do is listen to them.

Sleeping with the Enemy
2006-06-24— Posted by: allegra

From Gerald, provenance unknown.

Back Doctor
2006-06-24— Posted by: allegra

I read good chunks of Hamilton Hall’s Back Doctor (on Tish and Terry’s recommendation) and I guess I am feeling both better and worse about my back. He says the correct balance of rest and activity for patients with nerve root involvement from a herniated disc is 45 minutes of activity with 15 minutes of rest, which doesn’t really accord that well with going back to work. The tingling (paraesthesia) is quite consistent. It gets worse when I sit, and shifts around when I stand (better in my heel, worse in the ball of my foot). I am not imagining the weakness of my right leg – I limp because I can’t help it. Katie was quite concerned when she was walking with me today (I took her to Starbucks just before her shift started), and I just laughed. (Although I came home and lay down afterwards). I’m not going to fall over, although betimes it looks like it. Dr. Hall says it’s a good idea to distinguish between numbness and paraesthesia; on that basis, I am only truly numb in the outboard two little toes.

On the plus side, except for the Voltaren I am taking no pain killers, not even to sleep. Provided I don’t do anything stupid like bend forward or try to touch my knee to my forehead or twist my lower spine, or for that matter lift anything heavier than a book, I’m fine. I did get some exercise today, but that was after I did some driving, and driving completely sucks still, I’d be way better off not doing it.

The CT films have finally left RCH and have gone on to VGH Spine Clinic, but they haven’t been signed in yet so I’ll have to bug them about it on Monday.

I do feel relieved though. There’s only about a 20 percent chance I’ll have to have surgery, and the one really BAD thing that can happen, which is a rupture that affects the nerves involved in bowel and bladder control, is about as likely to happen as a lightning strike, so I’ve gone from being worried to being impatient to see a neurosurgeon and get some feel for what I’m up against. If I do need surgery, it’s fussy without being particularly complicated and I could be back at work in two weeks (ever supposing I got in promptly, which may not be feasible). One thing is clear…. I shouldn’t be at work and I can quit feeling guilty about it.

Keith just got in, he had a good shift at the Cirque and now he’s playing Final Fantasy X.

ow
2006-06-23— Posted by: allegra

I’m doing better, thanks to a superlative physio session late yesterday but I still can’t sit very long and my foot’s still numb.

Katie just hauled her first shift at the restaurant and it went okay. Paul got to say “Have a good day at work” to her this morning for the first time and I almost burst into tears.

Watched “Captain Blood” with Keith. Anybody who likes Pirates of the Caribbean HAS to see this movie.

Harryhausen does Muffett
2006-06-21— Posted by: allegra

Do I ever shut up about my back?
2006-06-21— Posted by: allegra

Sorry, no.

Doc wrote me off work until July 7th; I have to get my own films from RCH to VGH or I won’t get into the spinal clinic. I am dreading moving around, I am very sore.

Pic was drawn by Brooke; I call on everyone I know to witness that I do NOT look like Bruce Sterling in a wig.

More work
2006-06-20— Posted by: allegra

Katie has a job at a restaurant – she starts Friday!!!!

Pick one
2006-06-20— Posted by: allegra

1) spacy

2) snappish

3) sore

I can’t sit, I can’t sleep, my back is getting worse, not better, despite the physio and the exercises at home. I am too sick to work. I HATE THIS. I want to go back to work. But if I’m not sore enough to work I’m too spaced out to work. I’m back to the doc today, I have to get a note to get off work for at least three weeks.

More moose
2006-06-19— Posted by: allegra

From a Finnish newspic site.

I’d give anything to be able to do this
2006-06-19— Posted by: allegra

But unfortunately my back hurts too much. And I had to clean up cat shit this morning. That really didn’t help.

I see the physio at 4:30.

Pic (thx Sandy) is of a traditional Spanish figure called El Colacho; he’s jumping over the babies to ward off evil spirits.

Ow
2006-06-18— Posted by: allegra

It’s still owie owie owie but Paul dug up some more painkillers. Here’s a pic of Harry and William hungover ‘n stuff at their grans 80th. Can’t sit, must get back to my 80’s feminist sf (Native Tongue, can’t put it down).

Last night I dreamed I was Humphrey Bogart and I went to Indonesia for the earthquake (they had scheduled an earthquake, how handy) and when it came it pushed a whole perfectly preserved city into view and then the aftershock knocked it all over. Then I went to a banquet that featured Les Brown and his Band of Renown. Then I watched little mammals who got free food at the temple throw up on each other. Weird, hunh?

Lois arrives in about an hour.

From King5 Seattle news site
2006-06-17— Posted by: allegra

These wild deer are licking a dying cat, Sammy. I am assuming that Sammy, having kidney failure, would smell like a salt lick to them which is why they kept coming up to him and licking him. The cat died a couple of days after this pick was taken. Photo credit Margie Scott, Sammy’s owner.

Sammy apparently put up with it. Mammal biochemistry sure is weird.

ow
2006-06-17— Posted by: allegra

My back is sore, my foot is numb, and I’m taking Monday and Tuesday off next week. I can sit for perhaps 20 minutes before becoming so uncomfortable that I must either stand or lie down, and I’m getting frantic that by the time this is all over I won’t have a job to go back to…. everybody is managing fine without me.

Alan and Janice are here; Paul and Katie have taken up all the domestic slack because of my infirmity. I don’t mind, I just don’t want it to last.

I’m going to try to get into the spine clinic at VGH.

Guest Blogger
2006-06-16— Posted by: allegra

This is Keith here. Allegra isn’t feeling up to blogging today(this really is serious, isn’t it?). Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to run away and join the Cirque now, sans the running away part.

The Chaos and, uh, another poem
2006-06-15— Posted by: allegra

This poem is one of the first things I ever saw on the internet – it, however, was an abbreviated version and this is the real deal.

http://ncf.idallen.com/english.html

It’s bloody brilliant. Which reminds me…. The following is the first thing I ever copied down from the internet. It was in slightly different form and the artist was not credited. As per freaking usual, eh?

http://www.com-www.com/musiclyrics/addottakip-wetdream.html

I’ve never heard the song but it’s floating, as it were, around.

I take a back seat to no one in presenting weirdness
2006-06-15— Posted by: allegra

http://psyc.queensu.ca/~munhallk/05_its_10_below.mpeg

This is an X RAY VIDEO of a guy saying “It’s ten below outside”. Note provenance. Of *course* this came from a Canadian university. If you mess with the link you will also see a guy say en francais, the baker drank six beers.

Baby vulture
2006-06-15— Posted by: allegra

Sandy forwarded this…..

Relocalization
2006-06-15— Posted by: allegra

Relocalization is what happens when the nerve root gets some pressure taken off it. The tingling and numbness are reduced – and the pain increases. This is actually a really good sign.

I went home after work and went straight to bed last night, doing about 1.5 hours of back exercises. I was rewarded with much more back pain and much reduced foot numbness. Anyway, more physio today and this time I’m going to grit my teeth and go for the ice. Gotta be in good fighting trim for the horde (5 people, from two different parties) descending upon my household this weekend.

Lymond Fix
2006-06-14— Posted by: allegra

http://www.virtual-bird.com/birdsounds.htm

If you recall from Lymond 1 (Game of Kings) there is a comment, “My dear ass, I ran like a corn crake”. So scroll down and find the corn crake bird sound, and now you can enjoy the dialogue more intensely.

If you don’t recognize the literary reference, just hang wit da boids for a while.

The Dalai Jarmo, who forwarded the link, particularly recommends the Luscinia luscinia.

Look what Grampa bought me!
2006-06-14— Posted by: allegra

For true! One of my coworkers has a very lucky little boy, and his Grampa bought him this extremely shiny three wheeler. Look at that grin! He’s not yet two…. what a cutie patootie!

Net neutrality
2006-06-14— Posted by: allegra

I have a cousin Reck!
2006-06-14— Posted by: allegra

Who is no vernal gallus domesticus. It’s funny to be pushing 50 with a broom and realize that I have family elders who have a) cooler names than mine and b) lots more interesting experience (including woodworking, which is one of my all time favourite human skills). Anyway, welcome Reck, as a reader and hopefully contributor. My family can never be TOO BIG.

My back is much the same as it was yesterday morning but I’m not limping nearly so badly. I am going to have to stand at work today as much as possible. I now have about 25 minutes to do some back exercises, start a load of laundry, and replace my current garb with something more suitable for work before Paul turns up with the car. Dr. S told me to go back to work because it would be easier than staying at home and lifting loads of laundry. Dr. Filk’s amusing rebuttal to this was, Doc, I haven’t so much as lifted an eyebrow since I put my back out; I am recording the comment here lest it be lost from humankind.

I am starting another long poem. I do things like that every ten years or so. It’s based on my take of some of Charles Olson’s commentaries about poetry, and I scanged the titles from Silliman’s Blog, which was recommended to me by David J D., who taught me everything I know about poetry subsequent to my grounding in it back in high school in London ONT with Mike Pooley. I swore I wouldn’t do anything else creative until I finished my songs, but that’s a sucker’s game. I just went back and reviewed some stuff I sent my mother already, and it’s wrong wrong wrong wrong worng. Which means that I have to contact a professional and get straightened out about music theory, and I’m phobic about music theory, and (comment from wings, ahhhh shadddap!).

Suggestions about WHICH professional will be greatly appreciated. And NO I don’t need a psychiatrist.

Shown is the school Paul attended in Grade 2, in Huntsville ON.

Physio
2006-06-13— Posted by: allegra

Well everything went swimmingly until the ice pack. I react VERY BADLY to cold, and I sadly said, okay, but my back is going to spasm, and she did it anyway, and two fucking hours of brutal work went up the flue.

Earlier, the physiotherapist said, “WHAT? Your doctor told you to go back to work? You shouldn’t be back at work, that’s insane!”

And insane is what I’ll be if I don’t go back to work; if I can move, drive, etc. I’m obviously getting better. But she said Don’t Sit More than you Have to….. I’m supposed to apply ice tonight. Twice, for 15 minutes. I think I’ll do extensions instead. I’m still twitching from having the ice pack applied. Gah!

Arr there me hearties
2006-06-13— Posted by: allegra

Slate mag commissioned 6 pulp covers for classic works of literature. OF COURSE Melville made the cut. Stolen from the artist, Chris Papasadero/FWIS and Slate Magazine by way of Filkola (Brooke, whom I now dub Filkola, so there).

My site host sent me an email demanding I renew… which I did, for five bloody years, back in April…. so I told them if it was a joke it wasn’t funny, and if it was a clerical error it was uh disheartening seeing as how they had shaken something like $300 US outta my pocket in April. I GOT AN IMMEDIATE RESPONSE. No kidding. An immediate response. Which consisted of an explanation/grovelling apology. I pronounced myself mollified, and forgave them. What kind of name is Coldy? Strange name for a support person.

I have experienced an outpouring of sympathetic emails about my back, and I thank everybody who sent good thoughts and good advice. I’m off to the physiotherapist tonight and promise to radiate keen attention for the duration of my appointment.

Charming article about King Bhumibol
2006-06-13— Posted by: allegra

http://www.hindu.com/2006/06/13/stories/2006061302312000.htm

Plays like Sidney Bechet? Sigh.

I’m not imagining things (not exactly as shown)
2006-06-12— Posted by: allegra

Well, I got the CT scan results back. I have a herniated disc across L5 and S1. No, those are not my pictures, I stole them off a back site from an American University. SOOOO. I am getting a referral to a neurosurgeon, but if I’m a very good girl and lose 40 pounds and eat my vegetables and do every exercise prescribed by the physiotherapist (whom I see tomorrow in the late afternoon) I will likely not need to have surgery. My bizarre gait is common like dirt among people with the same ailment, so I don’t feel so stupid about my shuffling walk. (I walk really funny these days.)

The joys of over 40 dating
2006-06-12— Posted by: allegra

May Tlazolteotl protect us all! A sweet and wonderful friend of mine reports from the dating front that she met up with a guy who claimed to be 63 in his on line dating profile and turned out to be (****!!?)

87 years old!!!!!!!!!

No kiddums!

I guess there’s no liar like an old liar.

Swallow Chicks
2006-06-12— Posted by: allegra

Brother Jim sent me this. I love their pugnacious little eyeballs and whiskers.

Robber Fly Day 2
2006-06-12— Posted by: allegra

I love this pic. I wish I could post a higher resolution picture.

Robber Fly Day 1
2006-06-12— Posted by: allegra

Cousin Jim sent this and the next pic. Note in the second pic that Mr. Robber Fly – who was hanging out on the same flower two days running – has moisture beading on him. Jim sayeth “I am still getting the hang of this camera” but I’d say he’s doing purty good, how about you?

Couldn’t post yesterday, don’t know why. I was pretty sore all day yesterday and glad am I to see the doc today.

Track their migration to Canada
2006-06-10— Posted by: allegra

http://www.bbc.co.uk/nature/animals/birds/supergoose/

Uncomfortably numb
2006-06-10— Posted by: allegra

I’m not experiencing pain, but the numbness is really bad, so I’m going back to bed. Herman Melville (Moby Dick) I abandoned about 1/3rd of the way through so I am now casting about for something lengthy to read (I bailed when he started listing whales…)

I may go back through Harry Potter. I don’t think I ever read Harry Potter IV all the way through, or if I did it was once and a long while ago. Or maybe I’ll run through Lymond again. I suspect I’m gonna be in bed for a while.

Last night I dreamed the forest across the road from Lake Crescent Lodge caught fire, and all we could do was watch and wring our hands. I also dreamed my Auntie Mary moved into a big inflatable igloo style tent (this thing was huge, like the entire upper storey of my house, and I could hear the inflater motor moaning and sputtering in the background), accidentally deflated it on herself, and then popped out of the tent in Inuit garb, saying, “I’m okay, I’m okay, it’ll reinflate in a second!” and it did, sproing. I think if I told her about it she’d laugh.

Watched small portions of Howl’s Moving Castle and Jarhead last night. Howl is one seriously messed up bird, and Jarhead kinda lost me because of its MTV style cinematography. However, since I couldn’t really sit still to watch anything, I can’t really do a review of either movie.

Saw Mike, and how good it was to see him.

Crap
2006-06-09— Posted by: allegra

I phoned the doc’s office to make another appointment for Monday am, and found out he’s in the middle of making a referral to a specialist for me in consequence of the CT results. This is NOT good news and I am stumping up and down cursing. I felt better today, too. Piss, moan.

oo oo
2006-06-09— Posted by: allegra

I hope you can see this picture, and the best typo of 2006 so far.

Happy news.
2006-06-09— Posted by: allegra

I forgot to mention that Keith now has two part time jobs – one as kitchen slave to the Cirque de Soleil during their gig in Vancouver, and the other at Superstore. Keith got both of these jobs unassisted. Words cannot express how proud I am of him. As he is making a good hourly wage in both cases, I am very very happy.

Stir crazy
2006-06-09— Posted by: allegra

I’ve been out of the house three times since Saturday; once to buy pillows, which seemed to help, and twice to see doctors or get tests. I’ve gotten a third of the way through Moby Dick, reread King Jesus and Harry Potter VI and I am now officially stir crazy.

Read with horror that when Paul said, “Peggy’s here and we’re going to go walking” I seriously considered crawling out of bed and at least walking up to 16th with them before I remembered that the doc said positively no walking without a cell phone and somebody with. I have contented myself with a brief tidy of the kitchen and making myself a cuppa.

I am now to the point where I am saying things to myself like, “I had no idea how much I love my job” and “I miss my coworkers, bitter tears, bitter tears,” and “Screw Retirement” although I may not feel that way in twenty years.

Stewart Copeland, whom I like in so many of his artistic incarnations – musical dude for Dead Like Me – composer for cartoons (I’m in Trouble Again is a favourite of mine) – drummer for Oysterhead – drummer for the Police – has made a movie about the rise of the Police.

Buggy
2006-06-08— Posted by: allegra

Unless I miss my guess a dragonfly larva. Western Gomphid, from the size of it. Cousin Jim sent it.

Brooke, it’s all your fault but Linda is singing and playing with people again. (This will mean nothing to most of you, so cheerfully ignore it.)

I just got back from the doctor and she says, stay the hell home (here’s a note) and go to hopsital if you start number one-ing or two-ing when you didn’t think of it first. Hint, don’t take a taxi, unless you bring a hundred dollar cash tip.

I’ll be back to see the doc on Monday as that’s when they figure I’ll have results from the CT scan. I’m going back to bed, Herman Melville and I have a hot date.

Ow
2006-06-08— Posted by: allegra

Going to see the doc again now. I had a good night’s sleep but as soon as I stood up, big ow.

Droopy the Plane
2006-06-07— Posted by: allegra

No blog this am, sorry
2006-06-07— Posted by: allegra

Coming and going
2006-06-06— Posted by: allegra

Leaving this earthly plane, Billy Preston, of kidney failure. Some called him the 5th Beatle. He played WC Handy as a young man in a movie that was made the year I was born. Truly a great musician.

Spent 260 dollars on my back yesterday. I bought a Tempur foam pillow, a wedge pillow and one of those chair ball thingies. The CT scan is tonight. John is forgoing Jericho Beach to take me, as I am not convinced I could safely drive down to the hospital; whenever I extend my foot in the accelerating position I get a hell of a pinch, and with the sole of my foot so dead I might have difficulty controlling the car. Paul’s riding the Beemer to work, and given the weather I suspect he’s enjoying it more than he’ll ever admit.

Went completely without drugs last night to see how sore I am, and the answer is, if I move slowly, it’s not too bad. I can’t stay in one position for very long though, and since when I’m off the anti-inflammatories the tingling and numbness get worse, I guess I’m stuck on the vulture killing drug for the time being. It’s also called Voltaren, which sounds like a creepy StarTrekified bunch of aliens. “The Voltarens are hailing us, Keptin!”

I light a candle for the people close to Mt Merapi in Indonesia, and the people of Phuket, who are not interested in being TV movie of the week fodder for the inexhaustible North American appetite for Schadenfreude.

I light a candle for the relatives of the guys busted for terrorism in Ontario. Half of those arrested are probably blowhards that Mohammed (uhbp) would have rolled his eyes over – all talk and no action, except now they’re looking at a LOT of free time to study the Holy Koran. The other half are probably going to cause career problems for the fuckwits in the Immigration department who let them into the country and I’m SO upset about that…. But the womenfolk. Chances are good most of them knew nothing about the alleged three tons of alleged fertilizer. I light a candle for anybody who snickered when they read that one of the alleged suspects allegedly wanted to cut Stephen Harper’s head off. Anybody who wants to make Stephen Harper a martyr needs pity, not censure.

Okay, my back officially hurts now.

Brother James Kissing the Blarney Stone
2006-06-05— Posted by: allegra

Ah yes. Knowing full well that I’d drag myself off my deathbed for the opportunity to post so unflattering a pic of him, Brother James has forwarded this lovely shot. You look like you’ve lost weight, bud! Wish I could say the same. Although I wouldn’t want to have some fragile looking Irish punter hanging onto me trews – it’s a hell of a drop.

My CT scan is scheduled for 8:30 tomorrow night. Now I have to go lie back down again, as I can sit for approximately 10 minutes before my back starts to go spung.

In the humour book yesterday, I ran across this gem: “You are what Rev Dr. Spooner would call a shining wit!” I would so characterize myself at the moment. After I went back to bed I had ANOTHER dream, this time a musical comedy about mutants. And Sears. And a really bad music video. All the mutants were hideously bad CGI – put one much in mind of the Dunnett Phrase “A Face Like a Pound of Candles on a Hot Day.” They were sitting around in a smoky dimlit bar musically deriding another mutant’s music video, which was his attempt to gain cachet in the world of the normal. I dinna ken where this shite comes from, laddie.

The painkillers are giving me formication.

I bless the friends who are travelling soon. Must collapse, back is angry now.

Going to Chilliwack for pie
2006-06-05— Posted by: allegra

Going to Chilliwack for pie, via plane, formation flying. Yes, there are few better ways to go to Chilliwack, and the pie up there is divine. Fwded from Rob of Nine, of course.

It’s 4 am and the drugs have worn off
2006-06-05— Posted by: allegra

To the tune of The Flintstones

Back pain!  You've got back pain!
Your nerves jumped you like a bunch of thugs!
Back pain!  You've got back pain!
And your only question's, Where's the Drugs?

Maybe... you have blown your L4 disc!
Maybe....yoga would have halved the risk!

Back pain! You've got back pain!
You're in fashion now, you're all the rage!
Back pain! You've got back pain!
Welcome to your middle age!

Peggy and Tom fed us last night and we did music. I wasn’t actually in that much pain last night, I just can’t move very fast because I know exactly what will happen if I do and the sole of my right foot is almost entirely numb. Just now when I woke up I realized that I am now getting occasional shooting pains down the other leg, in more or less the same places that are troubling me on the other side. Paul will have the motorbike today and John will drive me to my appointment; I don’t know exactly when the CT scan will be but likely sometime today, possibly tomorrow.

I dreamed that Catherine (old bud from Toronto) and I went exploring in micro gravity… in full suits … with no tethers …. an abandoned space station. It wasn’t until I got back to something solid that I realized what a boneheaded maneuvre THAT was. I think my back was just trying to tell me how very wonderful the notion of no gravity would be right now….. Okay. It’s too early for more vulture killing drugs… do I want one of the jibber jabber pills, or do I want one of the “may cause drowsiness” pills? Decisions, decisions.

NO, I am not going to work today.

Hospital
2006-06-04— Posted by: allegra

Generally when I don’t post it’s as a result of illness; this was certainly the case yesterday. I was not actually able to get out of bed until 2 in the afternoon yesterday; previous attempts resulted in me curling up in a fetal ball and yelling in a very non-Hollywood kinda way.

Paul helped me into my clothes and drove me to the hospital, where I was attended to right away, by which I mean to say that somebody shot my ass full of morphine within an hour and sent me home with Shumthing Shtrong.

I am not currently experiencing pain, it’s more like discomfort, and I can’t really sit for any length of time. I will mention that the sole of my right foot is completely numb, the doc thinks I’ve blown a disk, and I’m supposed to go straight back to the hospital if I lose mobility or start wetting myself, which, thanks be to the laws of physics, is not currently a problem.

I am supposed to have a CT scan tomorrow. Gotta go, it’s hurting again.

I can’t get any freaking sympathy
2006-06-02— Posted by: allegra

Never poke a pharmacy student in the ribs, this is what might happen…. Brooke sayeth:

Bah, the heart risk is only for high doses. Plus it would just be multiplying your already very low risk of a heart attack. (Maybe. The majority of NSAID studies are on, surprise! an overwhelmingly male patient population.) An NSAID’s reaaaaalllll murder weapon of choice is causing bleeding stomach ulcers.

(aren’t I cheerful! ulcer odds: way below 1%)

Hee hee, voltaren vulture crisis. I must spread news of the piteous plight of the kidney of the carrion-eater among my pharmacy peers.

Rural Tennessee or Western Washington?
2006-06-02— Posted by: allegra

I have obtained a picture of a coworker’s backyard. It is too funny, in a low key kinda way, not to share. Hey Paul! Our backyard doesn’t look like this, and it’s all your fault.

So I read the news….
2006-06-02— Posted by: allegra

http://today.reuters.com/news/newsArticle.aspx?type=healthNews&storyID=2006-06-01T230228Z_01_L01793219_RTRUKOC_0_US-PAINKILLERS.xml&archived=False

And find out my drug may kill me. Well, so will this back pain. Read the wikipedia article on the NSAID I’m taking right now… it kills vultures! For true!

ow
2006-06-02— Posted by: allegra

I have to stop writing about my obsessions! Getting up this morning did not trigger zugswang, but Jumpin’ Elwy Yost, this is not much fun. Another perfect night of sleep, woke up maybe twice, (once because Paul muttered, “I have to get up,” in his sleep), and didn’t experience much back pain at all while horizontal. The slow, Everestian climb toward verticality was not accompanied by immobility, just rude amounts of pain. I stumped up and down the living room trying to shake it off. It’s only 5:30 in the morning; Paul and Katie are off to the Seattle Music Experience today as a field trip.

At Keith’s invitation, watched Casablanca again last night; I had forgotten what a great movie it is. The only fly in the oinkment is the casually racist attitude towards Sam the Piano Player and the other minority dudes and dudettes (Dooley Wilson’s actually called a BOY by Ingrid Bergman) but for 1942 it wasn’t too god awful. Oh, and let’s not forget that Gestapo Nazis don’t wear Luftwaffe uniforms, another clanger, but oh well.

Finally, Diclofenac is a really weird drug. I’m not getting much if anything in the way of side effects, but when it’s worn off, I seize up like a four by eight.

Crick
2006-06-01— Posted by: allegra

After an amazing nights’ sleep – we went to bed early and didn’t waken until 7 am, most unusual – I moved to get up and went straight into a spinal Zugswang which lasted about 3 minutes. I couldn’t sit back down; I couldn’t put all the weight on my right foot; I couldn’t walk. Shrieking in pain, I appealed to Paul, who acted as a human cane so I could get out to the kitchen and get some food on board for the anti-inflammatory to sit on.

I am still in so much pain that I can’t force myself not to breathe shallowly. It took me five minutes to feed the cats, and I am contemplating getting dressed with horror and resignation. Up next…. pain killers. And then a horrible ride to work.

Went home from work early….
2006-05-31— Posted by: allegra

My back was just screeching in pain… took me 20 minutes to get to the car. The doc took one look at me, sent me for x-rays and prescribed an anti-inflammatory which seems to be working already (who knows, right?). Anyway, I don’t feel like killing myself anymore (at 2:30 this afternoon it was a near thing) and Katie bought me sushi for dinner, so I declare myself improving; I have now popped some more pain killers and despite it only being 6 pm I’m off to bed.

Dr. Filk may get his old job back; we are keeping our fingers crossed.

Still no sign of Pokey, but I still have hope.

Perimenopause sucks.

Paul’s off to visit a neighbour in hospital. Love that man.

What a drag it is growing old
2006-05-31— Posted by: allegra

I tink I be on painkillers the rest of my life. The pain in my back is interfering with my ability to reason and it took me 10 minutes to get dressed this morning. Obviously I am going to seek medical attention but in the meantime I am just flabbergasted how much it hurts.

Baby pic
2006-05-30— Posted by: allegra

It’s Brayden again. Sigh, happy sigh. I can see a baby without wanting to eat it, but Brayden is a cutie patootie. Happy sigh.

enough sleep
2006-05-30— Posted by: allegra

Mike and John and I went to Canada Games Pool last night for a nice long soak. It was amazing not to experience any pain for an hour, although I’m sore as blazes this morning.

I was thinking of swimming, but as soon as the warm jets hit, I was immobilized.

I am LOVING Barnes’ Armies of Memory…. what a page turner. I love Giraut, I think he’s my 4th fave hero, after Lymond, Niccolo and Miles, of course.

today’s APOD
2006-05-29— Posted by: allegra

As always, I went to Astronomy Picture of the Day, and got dumped into a NASA feed (rebroadcast, obliviously) of the Titan landing. It was so beautiful I cried. I’m still sniffing. The stars our destination……..

enough sleep
2006-05-29— Posted by: allegra

Katie, the little weiner, has gone and gotten her tongue pierced. And me having custody of her dental bills for another 18 months.

Sang and played at Tom and Peggy’s last night, having sucked back a truly magnificent meal concocted by their tallest scion. SOME people have decent respectful children, all full up with filial piety.

Worked on the new tune when I got home (how to make a mandolin sound big and tough, and it needs lots of slide guitar, and it sounds like I’m trying to channel the blues and Malian music through a tubby middleaged white woman’s body…. Dr. Filk just shrugged when I commented on the inappropriateness of it, and also, when I asked him if I was boring him, just laughed). Stayed up for Katie to get back from (???) bowling, at midnight. (Camper Van Beethoven… “Take – the skinheads bowling,” went through my mind when she came home.)

I am also reading John Barnes’ new novel Armies of Memory, which contains the deathless line (I paraphrase) “I’d have more luck organizing a ferret marching band” and also the deathless line, “It’s a strange job, so it’s good it’s being done by someone strange.”

Paul, bless him, just called to let me know he’ll be home in time to hand over the car, so I have plenty of time to make a lunch, etc. before I go into work, and it’s Memorial Day in the States so it should be just funereal on the phones today.

I have received (now four) postcards from Brother James, the last one of those postcards of all of the major sights of London. It sounds like he’s having a whale of a time. Happy sigh.

Keith is still enjoying his job, especially the money and how much time free he has to try and get killed some more in the WoW universe at his new fave internet cafe. He said the other day that he thinks he’s too snippy, and after thinking to myself that *I* am currently the reigning champeen in that department (note to self, screw perimenopause) I told him that I thought he was a lot LESS snippy now that he was working in a reputable job and making decent money in an environment where he is less likely to lose the nail off his toe (I went into his room looking for something and found his toenail on his dresser. Bleagh, and damned straight, it serves me right.)

Coming up next on World of Allegra: Lunch for me, breakfast for kitties, and a cuppa.

Links
2006-05-28— Posted by: allegra

Storm pix

Joss Whedon interview (old)

Mercury sponge

How to bust into a cell wall.

This has big implications for Canadian weather

Cat furniture
2006-05-27— Posted by: allegra

That’s me passed out (almost) on the sofa. Kira crawled onto me (walking solemnly up and down on her exceedingly pointy feet, trying to find my solar plexus) and then Zeek! came up and touched noses with her and sat on my arm. I was stuck like that for an hour! They were both purring.

Hyack
2006-05-27— Posted by: allegra

Keith volunteered to take us to breakfast this am, and so we walked down to the IHOP at 6th and 8th in New Westminster… (Paul ended up picking up the tab, thank you Paul!) expecting it to be like every other Saturday morning at IHOP and jammed out the doors. The walk through New Westminster was lovely, everything blooming and fresh. When we got there, the parking lot was empty and we were seated immediately. Why? Because of the Hyack Festival!

When we emerged from the IHOP we watched a number of extremely kickass NW Washington marching bands, and the usual assortment of floats and marching groups including schools, businesses, War Amps, Old Cool Cars, Scary Evil F*cking Clowns that make small children burst into tears, Apple Blossom Festival Princesses, Pipe Bands, Football teams, More extremely good marching bands, Military outfits, a wooden-sided car that even Paul couldn’t identify, Dogs, cool, non traditional bicycles, an inflatable lobster, etc etc. Then it started to rain, so we came back here.

Katie’s boyfriend L. hasn’t fed his tarantula in four freaking months, doesn’t he know the meaning of humanity? We may have to make a cricket run. And he says he wants a turtle! Nyet! Not until he can keep the arthropod in good shape, mutter mutter.

I didn’t eat any pork products at breakfast and as a result I feel pretty good. I think I’m going to have to stop eating bacon and sausages entirely, as much as I love them; every time I eat them I feel rather stunned afterwards.

At the risk of sounding like I never eat at home, we ate last night at Simba’s on Edmonds. DAMN the food was so excellent! We were lucky to get a table.

I talked to Jeff this morning, it was great to hear his voice.

On a very sad note, and one that I have dreaded posting, the magnificent Pokey has not returned since early this past week. Dr. Filk is feeling pretty wretched, so be nice to him.

enough sleep
2006-05-26— Posted by: allegra

Thank God this interminable week is almost over.

Spotting traffic
2006-05-25— Posted by: allegra

Here’s Paul, flying around last summer with Dan P.

????
2006-05-25— Posted by: allegra

I’m the customer service person of the week. This is impossible. I demand a recount. Oh. You mean I get swag? Like, a Starbucks card, a free movie pass and a company golf shirt? Okay. Snif….

I’d like to thank my mother, and my father, and the harbor police…..

Forwarded from mOm
2006-05-25— Posted by: allegra

Arthur Guiterman...

On the Vanity of Earthly Greatness 

The tusks which clashed in mighty brawls
Of mastodons, are billiard balls.

The sword of Charlemagne the Just
Is Ferric Oxide, known as rust.

The grizzly bear, whose potent hug,
Was feared by all, is now a rug.

Great Caesar's bust is on the shelf,
And I don't feel so well myself.

Migraine
2006-05-25— Posted by: allegra

At fifty one practices virtues that at twenty one couldn’t pronounce.

It’s Towel Day!!!!!!!!!!
2006-05-24— Posted by: allegra

http://www.towelday.kojv.net/

I am a frood who really knows where her towel is.

Happy sigh
2006-05-24— Posted by: allegra

Like many employed persons, I kvetch about my job. But every once in a while you get a call from a customer saying, Your product SAVED MY ASS! (During Hurricane Katrina).

And you know, it feels pretty good. You hear so much crap that it’s good to remember that the reason you don’t hear from most of your customers is that they are happy. So today I am happy. I don’t know how long it will last, but I’m doing purty good.

Shiny robot news
2006-05-23— Posted by: allegra

http://www.newscientisttech.com/channel/tech/mg19025526.500.html

More summaries
2006-05-23— Posted by: allegra

Well, I would have had a simply charming time at Jeff’s if I hadn’t had a migraine, but really the only bad thing is that I now have to watch TWO zombie movies the next time I’m there; it’s probably going to be 28 Days and Army of Darkness, so pray for me.

Off to walk with Peggy, and so to work.

From the walk to Marymere Falls
2006-05-23— Posted by: allegra

A Flat Red Wood Borer.

Dr Filk and Brooke get wet
2006-05-22— Posted by: allegra

To summarize the last two days:
2006-05-22— Posted by: allegra

Migraine.

Oh yeah, forgot to blog
2006-05-20— Posted by: allegra

I am currently enjoying the sunny environs of Victoria. Tori bird is on her way to Montreal. Jeff’s gonna pick me up in a few minutes and then I’ll go to his place to grunt, scratch, drink beer and watch movies (really, a superlative way to spend a weekend……)

Katie has introduced her new beau to the grands – all this is going fine. Very very peaceful. More later.

Hm, must check what’s in the computer for pix these days. Here’s my cousin Derry, who has left us for the undiscovered country, feeding a giraffe in 1974.

I know it’s a joke, but…..
2006-05-19— Posted by: allegra

Baby liposuction

Crunchy goodness
2006-05-19— Posted by: allegra

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHl6QkC9__8

Sorry, no Trollhaven today.
2006-05-19— Posted by: allegra

Wrote another song last night. It’s official. The little bastards are popping out faster than I can write them down.

The garden at Trollhaven
2006-05-18— Posted by: allegra

A stroll through Trollhaven
2006-05-18— Posted by: allegra

People live in that house. We saw them.

I think I’ve heard of Trollhaven
2006-05-18— Posted by: allegra

I simply must see more Trollhaven.
2006-05-18— Posted by: allegra

Really, more Trollhaven?
2006-05-18— Posted by: allegra

Born to be a bouncer, dig that knowing face.

Sorry, more Trollhaven
2006-05-18— Posted by: allegra

What can I say.

David Michael, Whidbey Island Ferry
2006-05-18— Posted by: allegra

We bought two of his CDs.

That was a nice sounding harp.

I didn’t want to visit Baltimore BEFORE I read this.
2006-05-18— Posted by: allegra

http://www.thewbalchannel.com/news/9229472/detail.html

Certain politicians explained
2006-05-18— Posted by: allegra

Certain politicians explained! Chimps mount fecally overwhelming protest. Rain gear strongly recommended.

Fox mollusc trampoline church
2006-05-18— Posted by: allegra

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IdPI50E0Zdo

This juvenile fox spends a happy couple of minutes playing on a trampoline. Very close to the end, you will say to yourself “WTF???” as a large plastic object heaves into view (I have no idea what it is) but it doesn’t detract from the charm of this lovely piece of home video. Thank you thank you Janice for forwarding it. I’m going to leave the link up so Paul can see it when he gets back from running.

Paul’s talking about selling the house again. Heavy sigh. Ruth 1:16-17.

Brother James has forwarded three, count ’em three lovely postcards from his travels in England and Ireland; a castle, Stonehenge, and the Georgian Doors of Dublin, which was actually a poster in a friend’s house that I admired many times and has now turned up in miniature format to adorn my desk. Your taste in postcards continues to rock, Bro James!

L’il Cthu has expressed an interest in coming to work (I checked my calendar, and, by gar, it IS Take Your Squid Overlord Spawn to Work Day – who knew?) so I coaxed it into the Spaced Out Ladies bag (see previous blogs) and it’s now making separation anxiety noises about the chandelier. It somewhat shamefacedly admits that the reason it jumped into the chandelier in the first place was because it was the object that looked most like a squid; this gave me pause, because if he goes for the Squid-resembling objects, I think some of the sales people are in for a more interesting day than their Daytimers would predict. A full report on the Morbid Mollusc later.

Photo copyright 2006 Bell Globemedia Publishing Inc. All Rights Reserved. Forwarded from Sandy.

Kokopelli garden at Trollhaven
2006-05-17— Posted by: allegra

Crest at Trollhaven
2006-05-17— Posted by: allegra

The Dragon’s Gate at Trollhaven, outside Sequim
2006-05-17— Posted by: allegra

The patio at Bread and Roses in Port Townsend
2006-05-17— Posted by: allegra

It’s the damned bug’s fault, Chapitre le deux
2006-05-16— Posted by: allegra

So, blurwise, we drove to the Hoh Valley and took a lot of picatures in the Hall of Mosses (gee mOm, wish you could have been there) and hiked about 2.5 miles up the trail along the river. Took a lot of pictures there too! Which I will post later. It was entirely gorgeous and the weather couldn’t possibly have been improved on.

Then we ate in a diner at Forks, then went back to the Lodge and crashed, had dessert, and crashed. Marionberry Cobbler rules!

Then we got up and went to Sequim, where we visited a flea market, where I got my mOm a belated Beloved Female Progenitor day prezzie, and went to ah, so wonderful to relate, the Oak Table, where I ate YUMMMMMY peach blintzes to the asploding point. Then we had to deke off highway 101 where I had the experience of watching a passerby throw a blanket over a motorcyclist who appeared to be, ah, integumentarily challenged and quite dead; we later found the highway was closed both ways for about two hours.

Then we visited Trollhaven. I am not going to say anything about it – I’ll just post pics.

Then we got on the Whidbey Island ferry and nearly ran out of gas at Deception Pass, and then we drove past the I5 and up Highway 9 instead, which was so thoroughly infested with a combination of RV’s and motorcycles that I felt like I was driving the only car on the road.

The Sumas crossing was ridiculously easy, and so home.

It’s the damned bug’s fault, chapter one
2006-05-16— Posted by: allegra

It’s all the Tomentose Burying Beetle’s fault. After all, had I not seen the beetle crawling cheerfully in front of the door of Cabin 4 at Red Deer Lodge and Campground, I would not have been moved to go to the library back in Toronto to try to get a picture of whatever that bizarre creature was, to try and identify it. The book my search led me to was the Audubon Guide to North American Insects and Spiders, which is where I found it. I promptly bought it. It’s pretty beat up. Then I found a very interesting moth in the meadows of Humber Park, which was not in the insect book. I was in the bookstore at Golden BC attending a family reunion in the early 90’s when I found the Audubon Guide to North American Butterflies and Moths and identified the Ctenuchid Moth, at which point my mania for collecting nature books commenced. Shortly thereafter, I acquired the Reptiles and Amphibians, the simply succulent Geoffrey Kibby’s Mushrooms and Other Fungi; North American Weather, and Mosses, Lichens and Ferns of Northwest North America. I learned that the best Canadian spider book was a government publication long out of print. I got a dinged up hardcover Audubon Field Guide to Birdies. The photo version was the Audubon Western Birds; then the brisk and kick ass Plants of Coastal BC. So that is why I know that the first bug we saw, on the walk to Marymere Falls, is a Flat Red Wood Borer. I didn’t know at the time but I came back home and looked it up. We walked from Lake Crescent Lodge to Marymere Falls. The trail is no more than a mile and leads to a falls of about an 80 foot drop. We saw a lot of trilliums and forget me nots. The walk – I wouldn’t dignify it as a hike – is pretty easy going. Just prior to arriving at the lodge, we saw 3 deer apparently munching on forget me nots. They were completely unconcerned by our presence. After Marymere Falls, the four of us had dinner in the Lodge, which was a lot of fun, in a subdued and calorific sort of way. No loud laughing for me. Next morning we breakfasted at the Lodge, ate like swine and went to Sol Duc Falls. The boys took the longer trail back to the Springs; Janice and I took the car back (and she let me drive, the angel) the last three miles. That put us at Sol Duc Hot Springs in time for me to collect a Sunburn, in Washington State, in May, for the love of Jim Criminy. Sol Duc Hot Springs is delightful and the pool side Deli, fun, friendly and a provider of nourishment as well as junk. Damn, but those fries were good! Thick cut, entirely yummola. —- The trip down started when I saw two bald eagles over the Alex Fraser Bridge – a good omen for a visit to see two Americans. We had the single most charming and untroubled Border interaction possible, let alone likely to spring into existence in my imagination; this comment deleted in response to comments from my lawyer. We got to the ferry with no incident, a bit earlier than planned, but also a bit late for the 12:07…. which still boarded us. I met a man with a Koss inverter. I had no idea Koss made inverters. I was so intrigued I almost asked him to show it to me but our ride was over before I could. We came into the Port of Port Townsend and ate lunch at Bread and Roses. Paul had a carrot ginger soup that rendered him nearly ecstatic when he first ate it. I was in ecstasy myself. I have never eaten in a restaurant with the New York Times Arts Section spread out in front of me on a table that seats 8. Paul was actually lucky to get me out of there. Then we debated going up Hurricane Ridge; both time and weather were against us, so we stuck with the plan. On the way out of town I noticed the Food Co-op and we pulled in for some nourishing deli munchies. Got to the Lodge without incident around four on Thursday. The lichen previously shown is one of about fourteen thousand square meters of the stuff we saw all over the freaking park. There were sheets of it, some as big as 20 cm across, all green on one side and all white on the other. Looked like the cast offs of a molting dragon, by gum. The stuff is called Lobaria oregana. Okay, maybe it doesn’t look like dragon molts, but more like large chunks of disreputable peeled off paint lying in profusion on the forest floor as far as the eyes can see. And stuck up in trees. Much more attractive at the Sol Duc trailhead was a stand of Ptilium Crista-Castrensis. Doesn’t it sound like the name of the mother of all castrating mothers in law? I quote from the Mosses book, for I am all at once unable to best this description, “The rich golden green patches growing in low areas of mesic and montane forests are a pleasure to come across.” This is a sentiment with which I heartily concur. It’s also called Knight’s Plume, and it’s the most beautiful moss I’ve ever seen. Oh, and we had lots more wonderful adventures. Stay tuned for the thrilling Chapter II of It’s the Damned Bug’s Fault.

Zeus is Lord!
2006-05-15— Posted by: allegra

Lichen
2006-05-14— Posted by: allegra

Marymere Falls
2006-05-14— Posted by: allegra

Taken May 11th.

Hall of Mosses, Hoh River Valley
2006-05-14— Posted by: allegra

Taken May 13th.

Why I can’t trust Paul with a camera
2006-05-14— Posted by: allegra

Taken on the way back from Marymere Falls on the 11th.

Why I can’t trust Paul with a camera
2006-05-14— Posted by: allegra

Taken on the way back from Marymere Falls on the 11th.

Off to Lake Crescent Lodge
2006-05-10— Posted by: allegra

So we’re going to the Olympic National Park in the US, a place I have very happy memories of (from when we still had the VW bus, and were still family camping) as we wound our way up the unbelievable road up to Hurricane Ridge.

I won’t be blogging unless I find an internet cafe between now and Sunday night – I’m not planning on blogging tomorrow morning as we are going to have to get out at a fairly early hour.

Another bunch of family videos arrived – I can hardly wait to see them but we’re a leedle pressed for time.

Pic is of where we’re staying – we’ll be in the Roosevelt Lodges. The whole place is a historic site. And the Sol Duc Hot Springs! And the rainforest! Happy sigh.

Keith refused the chance to guest blog, can you credit it. Hugs to all and I will have a full report for you if I get back before ten on Sunday………..

???
2006-05-10— Posted by: allegra

I process credit card transactions all day, and the expiry dates for credit cards seem to be moving closer all the time. I strongly suspect that while the banks are still issuing credit cards with the abandon of drunken film starlets, they are reining in the validity dates.

???
2006-05-10— Posted by: allegra

If you haven’t seen this terminally weird picture, check it out. I think the most disturbing thing about it is the expression on the guy’s face.

http://www.gildlilies.com/pop_ups/phillip_toledano_kaleidoscope.htm

various….
2006-05-10— Posted by: allegra

Katie has now seen her new boyfriend EVERY SINGLE DAY since she and Daxus broke up. Keith was Daxus’ checkout boy last night. The transaction occurred without incident, but Keith was mildly twinged and Katie was majorly pissed that Dax bought 4 CANS OF SPRAYPAINT (all black) so it looks like the tagging rampage will continue. It’s not as if Keith was going to hide this information from Katie, so I can only assume this was all quite deliberate on that poor boy’s part. I feel so sorry for him, now that he’s not making Katie’s life a living hell.

Keith has gone from being really stressed about his job to being quietly pleased about it, and he says he’s honing his observational skills. He says that he can already tell a lot about a family or a person by what goes in the cart.

giggle
2006-05-09— Posted by: allegra

She went to work at Microsoft, and all she got was this going away cake….

I never post jokes but….
2006-05-09— Posted by: allegra

Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome.

One has a cross in front of him. The other one the Star of David.
Many people go by and look at both beggars, but only put money into
the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross. A priest comes by, stops
and watches throngs of people giving money to the beggar behind the 
cross, but none give to the beggar behind the Star of David.

Finally, the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of David and says:
"My poor fellow, don't you understand? This is a Catholic country.
People aren't going to give you money if you sit there with a 'Star of David' in front of you,
especially when you're sitting beside a beggar who has a cross. 
In fact, they probably give to him just out of spite."

The beggar behind the 'Star of David' listened to the priest, turned 
to the other beggar with the cross and said:

"Moishe, look who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing."

Ha ha
2006-05-08— Posted by: allegra

I have an instantiated Darth Vader head, and you don’t. It’s about 4.5 cm tall. I checked around to find out how much it costs to make, and including the electricity, it takes about 4 bucks to make this little puppy. I have no idea how much the machine costs to rent, but it really makes me happy, and now I don’t feel so bad about the Nefertiti head.

Yummy worms
2006-05-08— Posted by: allegra

http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2006/4/30/91945/8971

DO NOT VISIT THIS SITE IF YOU ARE EATING. No kidding!!!! And be glad I didn’t post pix….

The Augean task
2006-05-08— Posted by: allegra

I should mention that the Augean task was the carpet vac’cing of the living room. Even the rinse water was matte black, mit lumpen.

I have written another song.

And it's we two chance met
and with you looking fine 
Maybe we should repair to this bar?
And he held up his hand and said, no, not until
the womenfolk know where we are.

For the women we love
are deserving of care
and they certainly merit a call
He said with a wink, don't let the price of a drink
Send your happy home life for a fall.

So I got to a phone and I begged her to come
and the strangest thing then did occur
She said off with you now, you go have some fun
thanks for letting us know where you were.

I said, US? with a frown, I could hear background noise
And she seemed far too blithe and in tune
She laughed, I'm with the wife of the man that you're with
and we have been drinking since noon.

My lips split with a grin, my heart easy and free
for I know how I'm spending my night
And I will not be troublin', for the Guinness in Dublin
To be home before dawn's golden light.

And it's we two chance met, and with us looking fine
as we sit at our ease at the bar
And drink toast after toast to the wise man who said
Let the womenfolk know where we are!

enough sleep
2006-05-07— Posted by: allegra

I was amused and shamefacedly pleased to learn that one of my songs has “excaped”. I emailed it (the version Gomi recorded with me back in 04) to Jessica D in MP3 format and the next thing I know, there’s about half a dozen teens in the lower mainland listening to it on their MP3 players. Some of them claim to really like it. Katie’s got her lower lip out because she’s part of the background chorus and she would much rather pretend that it never happened. Let us say that I would rather have my songs listened to than not, so the copyright implications don’t particular irk me.

So if you hear somebody you don’t know humming “Crazymaking Boy” you are not imagining things, and when the boys I wrote it for read this I hope they grin. “You are… my hero from a fable, my supper on the table, my ready, willing, able, my Crazymaking Boy.” Oh, and as I recollect, that’s one of the songs that Mick Fleetwood, in digital format, is laying down a drum track on. Ah, digitization. And if you ever hear that song, remember, that’s us singing, so it’s warts and all, no digital correction of our wandering voices. Happy sigh.

Now back to the salt mines. Katie’s buggered off for the second night running to her new boyfriend’s place and so I have no domestic help today except Keith, who, charming lad that he is, brought home the second to latest SIP (www.strangersinparadise.com, and if you aren’t into comix, this is your chance….). But, charming lad that he is, he also has a Bad Toe, so I can’t really lean on him too hard for the Augean task Paul laid on me so casually on his way to work today. Keith’s working his first scheduled shift subsequent to training at 11 am on Monday. I am so pleased I could burst.

On the upside, if Katie doesn’t come home I don’t have to pay her her allowance. The dishes are starting to pile up. I really wish I could repeat what she said about her boyfriend yesterday during the 5 minute period she breezed through here, but it would not be suitable for a family blog.

And Paul, when he’s not ordering me around, continues to be marvellous.

I heart Zoidberg. (Futurama reference. Futurama is a Matt Groening cartoon.)

Slogging away
2006-05-07— Posted by: allegra

Peter down the alley, a charming and elderly gentleman of Italian ancestry, has offered us the use of his south facing garden. We dug out all the dandelions and will be turning the entire thing this week. Then, oh then, Lake Crescent. I can hardly wait. Oh. Just so you know, I won’t be blogging while I’m there as I won’t have access to the inertnets. So don’t expect to hear from me between the 11th and 14th of May…. I’m gonzo.

Red river piggies for my mOm
2006-05-05— Posted by: allegra

Have some piglets. Their forepigs came from Africa, and they like to swim.

I AM SO JEALOUS
2006-05-05— Posted by: allegra

One of the first things they made with the three D instantiator is A MINIATURE HEAD OF NEFERTITI. And PATRICIA GOT IT. I’d better get one of the Darth Vader heads they are whipping off right now Or I Will Be Choked! Rob of 9 even said, That will drive Allegra crazy, and he don’t know how right he is. mOm can you BELIEVE my life right now?

Quite by accident, I found out where the CEO is drinking beer tonight. Evil thoughts occur, even if it’s not my favourite pub.

All is calm and quiet on the domestic front. I’ve gone walking every morning this week since Tuesday, and I’m feeling a little more energetic. Keith cooked eggs in a basket for breakfast for Katie yesterday, and provided me with an HMM (Happy Mom Moment).

Paul continues to be extremely wonderful.

So does Dr. Filk, but BOY does he hate shaving. rrrr.

???
2006-05-05— Posted by: allegra

Porter Goss of the CIA is quitting because of allegations about hanging with hookers? Jumping Jack Flashman, his boss just said that he can break 750 laws while NOT breaking a sweat. Why should some bodily fluids perturb us?

a new kind of woman
2006-05-04— Posted by: allegra

So, this 3D modeller wandered into the building today, and you’d think a new kind of woman had turned up; I’ve never SEEEEEN so many geekulous balding heads hovering in wondrous anticipation. There were TEN GEEKS plus the technician hovered around this. I’ve never seen heterosexual men stand so close together. This critter turns out 3D models by spitting out coloured layers of plastic. Rob of 9 came down to lunch all spattered with an unbecoming amount of riotous pink paint. Yes, life is good in geekville.

enough sleep
2006-05-04— Posted by: allegra

Weird cloud
2006-05-04— Posted by: allegra

I saw this when I went walking this morning – a corkscrew cloud!

No surprise to security aficionados
2006-05-03— Posted by: allegra

http://www.guardian.co.uk/idcards/story/0,,1766266,00.html

Hi Glenn.

Music
2006-05-03— Posted by: allegra

Monday night, Slo-pitch Bluegrass at the ANZA Club; last night the opening Tuesday of the summer Jericho Beach Sailing Club folk night / open stage. All of the music was wonderful and entertaining and I really wished Brooke, Tom and Peggy could have been there.

I performed Lifeline and The Dreaded Tapioca Song.

I have now gone walking two mornings running; while far from being a commitment to better health it is a large number of steps in the right direction.

Daxus came to the house yesterday, was completely bizarre, gave some stuff to Katie, refused to pick up his own stuff, and left without incident.

His tag is “SHAME”, you may have seen it sprayed all over Metrotown, namely, SHAME loves KATIE; SHAME loves KATE. Etc. Keith says it’s all over the freaking place. He successfully completed another half shift at Stuperstore, by the way.

I picked up a sack full of garbage at the track at Cariboo High this am; the Burnaby Parks people opened the washroom at Paul’s request but only the Men’s washroom; which considering there is a unisex disabled can was a bit disconcerting. However, as my experience in San Francisco taught me, any public washroom is better than none, and I am thankful.

I gave a sermon a while back
2006-05-02— Posted by: allegra

Picture my surprise and happiness when I found it on the internet!! Just remember this is the single most complex and intellectually challenging sermon I ever gave, so it’s not exactly a bucket of laughs – although I tried.

The good old days
2006-05-02— Posted by: allegra

This is for Phil.

http://www.cyberspike.com/clarke/beasley.html

test
2006-05-01— Posted by: allegra

I just lost my entire post for this am. It was newsy and chatty. Sigh.

Breathe normally
2006-05-01— Posted by: allegra

I am finally feeling a bit better so it’s off to work.

Katie tried to drive her bf’s RC car under a moving vehicle yesterday, and only the Goddess who looks after cute teenaged girls prevented her from experiencing an expensive crackup. Crikey, I’ve had REAL cars that were worth less than that RC car.

Tom and Peggy fed us. There are many kinds of ministry. Dr. Filk sang an entirely new (to me) song about how cheesed off some people are when folksingers tell people to sing along. The lyrics are hysterical.

Keith traded a Colin Wilson novel for V for Vendetta (the real one, on a temp basis) and frankly I think Tom got the better part of the deal.

The walnut trunk is down. The whole frikkin house shook when it came down. I shouldn’t wonder if it didn’t break the sewer pipe right then. It’s really good walnut and Tom is pleasantly contemplating the furniture that it will be turned into.

RRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEE thump
2006-04-30— Posted by: allegra

Tom L and Paul are having a busy morning. The last of the trees are coming down. Then I get raised beds. Happy sigh.

I know this is copyright protected
2006-04-30— Posted by: allegra

But how the hell can I resist???? Aislin ROCKS.

Happy news
2006-04-29— Posted by: allegra

Even if I continue to feel dreadful (I took yesterday off, as I couldn’t look at a screen or lights and ached from head to foot) I am going to think happy thoughts and relay happy news. Paul cut the phone line yesterday taking down the last of the tree limbs for the walnut tree but it will be fixed today… and I have a wireless modem, as previously reported, so I’m blogging anyway.

Katie’s new beau continues to be charming and friendly and he has a radio controlled car that tops out at about 70k; it was fun watching it blast up and down the culdesac yesterday evening. Then he hauled out his laptop and Keith and Kate and L. watched Unleashed in Kate’s room. Keith starts his new job Monday night and he has to memorize all the Superstore codes for bizarre vegetables between now and then. He has a good start on it and since his memory is pretty good I’ll let him play Final Fantasy 10 for another half hour and then get back to it.

Paul’s off changing the oil in the car.

I have to get back to the usual assortment of life maintenance now; bathroom’s pretty much done and when I sign off I’ll go back to hacking away at the living room.

I owe cousin Vladimir a letter; I don’t know whether to do something really offensive like send him all of my MP3’s of songs I’ve recorded, or something marginally more useful like some of my favourite artists. I was also thinking of doing a “this is my life” series of pix of a typical day in my life, and then laboriously translating it into Russian with the help of one or two Russian speaking friends. Any suggestions?

L’il Cthu refuses to come down from the damned chandelier. One of the pizza slices went missing, so I think he (it?) is coming out to forage at night. Both of the cats seem much more nervous than usual; Kira has taken to hiding in Keith’s room every chance she gets. Maybe this isn’t exactly happy news, but I’ll put a good face on it.

aaaaackkkk! It got away on me
2006-04-27— Posted by: allegra

I dunno. The package was addressed to me, and then this stripy mollusc leaped out, tentacles flailing, and it leaped out of my hands onto the chandelier, and now it refuses to come down. I didn’t like the way it was eyeing the garlic – I suspect its days are numbered……..

I told mOm to knit me a nautilus, and I got this animated little cuss; I was expecting something a little more docile. But now I’m not sure I’d want to do something as potentially risky as SLEEP with it in my bed… it’s not exactly vicious looking but it has a look in its eyes as if the Call of Cthulhu is never far from its mind…..

Miracles do happen
2006-04-27— Posted by: allegra

Milagros Cerron, the mermaid baby I blogged about a year ago, is getting big and strong.

Her first word was “Doctor”.

Keep growing, little miracle!

What kind of month would this be….
2006-04-27— Posted by: allegra

Without a reference to Bettie Page?

and when you’ve got nothing better to do
2006-04-27— Posted by: allegra

http://mootube.com/

Good golly, Miss Moo. This is what the inertnests are for!!!!!

rrrr
2006-04-27— Posted by: allegra

I am very glad that Frank started publishing again – the emag was just not as good as having the paper…

Alan called yesterday. The lucky dog! He and Janice got to walk around in the caldera of an active volcano while they were in Hawai’i. RRR.

Taxes are done! Quicktax is a pretty slick program.

Keith’s toe continues to improve, although it will be a while before he does any more work, which, given that he wants to go to a very heavy duty course, which is expensive, isn’t good. Guess he’s just going to have to sit home and play Final Fantasy 10 until his dad blows a head valve.

Katie had perfect attendance during Term 3. Rub your eyes and go back and read it again.

Katie has a new beau. Menfolks, listen very closely. He brought nitro methane into the house yesterday. You can now dance up and down and say, “Truly, he is one of us.” Oh, it was for his hobby, not for any, uh, anarchic or, uh, property damaging purposes. And I can see you nod your heads and go, uh huh.

I am very grumpy these days and wish I could get over it.

Is the US a Superpower?
2006-04-26— Posted by: allegra

http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article12843.htm

My response to this is simple…. can they lob large quantities of nuclear weapons at people? Check. They are still a superpower. Beware a man with nothing to lose who is cornered with a gun.

Free beer
2006-04-26— Posted by: allegra

Sorry, I’m running at about 1/4 speed because I don’t pass up on free beer when the company is paying. I’m going to be late for work because crackheads were arguing in front of the house and you really don’t want to get any of that on you. Magnificent set of lungs on that woman.

Keith dropped a pallet on his toe yesterday but he didn’t break it. I think he got a reminder about steel toed boots…. he wasn’t wearing any.

Katie continues to be radiantly happy. Paul is still the best man on earth. Everything’s just fine, except that, like I said, my brain isn’t working this am.

Taxes & Taxi
2006-04-25— Posted by: allegra

Paul and I have been hacking our way through our taxes. We should be done Wednesday night; I’ve got a hall pass to go drinking with my coworkers tonight after the confererererence. Sounds like I have a good start on it already. I also have a medical appointment today, and while I remember where and who, I can’t remember when, so I am feeling rather sorry for Paul, who’s going to have to play Dad’s Taxi most of the day.

I am really really tired. I went to bed relatively early but I woke up at about quarter after four and Paul was awake so we got talking. I am now at the stage of wakefulness when your bed is singing your name in doo-wop harmony; but I will make some tea and hopefully configure myself in the general shape of a working stiff and go do the thang.

Lest we forget
2006-04-24— Posted by: allegra

A million people took to the streets in Nepal this past week, defying the curfew, defying the government, and showing solidarity in their demands for a republic. This pic is from Phalano.com and shows women marching.

Kinaam, lizard of mystery
2006-04-24— Posted by: allegra

So, she laid a bunch of eggs…. 2 years after the last time she had sex. So either she was storing the sperm up until conditions were perfect, or her babies are parthenogenetic. I look at that face, that tongue, those scales and I’m a-thinking parthenogenesis gets my vote.

Warning, racism alert
2006-04-24— Posted by: allegra

Last night I dreamed I was jammed into a school gymnasium with a bunch of complete strangers. We were all sitting around on benches with those long cheap auditorium tables and food was about to come in. Somebody said, Allegra, Allegra, say a prayer. I barked “Theists, look at your plates. Humanists, do a Chinese fire drill.”

Then I woke up. What the hell was that supposed to mean? and if I had it to do again, I’d say Anarchist Fire Drill.

When you need a little push to get going
2006-04-24— Posted by: allegra

Vespers
2006-04-23— Posted by: allegra

It’s actually Rachmaninoff’s All Night Vigil, but people call it Vespers; anyway, it was a really good time according to Paul; I didn’t talk to Keith about it because I crashed super early. I am tired all the time these days and I start turning into a pumpkin around 9:30, although I don’t seem to have any problem getting up in the morning.

Kira is sitting in the plant room window looking decorative, and Zeek tried to pee in my plant containers, the little bugger. Time to move everything outside.

This is the guy who played Richard….
2006-04-22— Posted by: allegra

For the Dorothy Dunnett Reenactment at Academie Duello. His name is Randy Packer, and he’s damned good.

Duel
2006-04-22— Posted by: allegra

The duel consists of two men; each is armed with a dagger and a long sword. Soon we leave to go shopping and get Keith signed up at Superstore. Then we head downtown…. then we go to Mike and Tori’s and then Keith and Paul are going to Rachmaninoff Vespers with Chor Leoni. Ah. A day filled with Kultur…. Now I’m thinking of a quote, but I’m not gonna go there………..

More later, if I am spared.

Fabulous news
2006-04-21— Posted by: allegra

http://research.binghamton.edu/discovere/discovere%20files/TopStories/Jessica1.htm

Our departmental motto
2006-04-21— Posted by: allegra

Is now either FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!

OR, Let’s throw ourselves from that bridge when we cross it.

Off to Academie Duello tomorrow
2006-04-21— Posted by: allegra

I will be reporting in more detail upon my return, but in the meantime….. Duelling Zombies

Weird dream
2006-04-21— Posted by: allegra

Last night I dreamed that Paul and Keith and Katie and I went shopping and they were selling the frozen leg of a small child. Me and my family were the only people in the store who found it odd. Immediately after, two guys in a chuck wagon robbed the store. There were two large pumpkins in the back, and the cops were following, slowly, with their sirens on, while the two guys up front were yelling, Hyah! Obviously I couldn’t sleep any more after I woke up from that.

Not much to report
2006-04-21— Posted by: allegra

Had a long long chat with my ex-husband Phil last night. It was great to talk to him and catch up on all the family news. He is FINALLY going to get on line (I’ve been grousing at him about it for years) and I told him he’s got about two years of my bl0g to catch up on, lucky him. I am picturing him tripping over some of the stuff I’ve said in my blog that he’s probably the only other person on earth who would “get”, so that’s a fine prospect.

Katie writes the English Provincial she slept through last time this morning; she’s crippled from three days of Phys Ed so I massaged her for about half an hour last night. Apart from that, work, laundry and sleeping, I’ve not been doing much.

I did manage to find the complete works of the Carter Family for $40 US freight included yesterday, and I’m thinking of ordering it as one of the songs on it is one that cousin Laurel wants us to sing at the family reunion in July.

I am the eggman
2006-04-20— Posted by: allegra

very very funny. Helps if you can hum the tune in your head.

http://decider.cf.huffingtonpost.com/

Go here, click Watch This Movie
2006-04-20— Posted by: allegra

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/307402

And watch a verrrrry commie Mario do this thing.

Brayden’s home…..
2006-04-19— Posted by: allegra

What just happened?
2006-04-19— Posted by: allegra

One of the things Paul dislikes about me is the way I answer surveys.

If he’s not around to pound my head in, I answer every survey that comes my way. What he doesn’t understand is that surveys are not an interruption of my life, but an opportunity to vote with my big loud obnoxious opinions about everything. So I’ve been an EVox panelist (internet surveys for one of the big Canadian Survey companies) for, like, almost seven years. I’ve faithfully filled out every survey they’ve ever sent me (this is 50 or 60 surveys, at this point), including “How do you feel about this revamped government website?” all the way to “Which creams for vaginal itching do you use most frequently?” (Answer… topical application of prostaglandins works best for me, thanks….).

And of course they tell you that you’ll be entered in a draw for 1000 buckadingdongs if you enter but I’ve never so much won a toothpaste coupon.

So when they said, fill out this survey for a chance at free wireless internet, I thought, Bloody Hell Then, That’s a Likely Story, and filled it in. AND THEY’RE SENDING ME A FREE WIRELESS MODEM. I get free wireless internet for the next 6 months and if I like it I keep it and otherwise I ship it back. The bloody modem is worth $250 right there. I can hardly wait to tell Paul. From the time I started the survey to the time I got my order confirmation was about, uh, 20 minutes. Zowie!

Side note, unrelated, to Leo…. got the disk of pix, thanks, and I’ve now viewed them. The beach walks are glorious!

Lots of news
2006-04-19— Posted by: allegra

Hm, there’s so much good news that I don’t know where to start. Closest to my heart is the news that Tom L found (after some labor) the lyrics to a song I wrote in 2004, which means that I am that one step closer to having everything in order for my Pile O Songs. How he had it and I didn’t is perhaps emblematic of my (until recently) haphazard and disrespectful attitude towards my own ooooovre.

Keith applied to Superstore and goes to sign paperwork for employment on Saturday, to start training in early May. If all my hopes are not cheated, this will mean that ALL THREE of the adult males in my household are union employees.

John got to work at the docks all right, but there was a grisly cost; to get into the respirator he had to shave his beard. Jumpin Jack Flash Animation but he’s scary with his beard off…. all that fish belly white skin below (ed. Knock it off).

Mario gave me chocolate, which I shared with Patricia and Scott and Katie and Rob of 9.

I fired up Quick Tax 2005 and just as an experiment did Keith’s taxes. Seldom has 15 minutes of labor been so rewarded; while Keith zoned out in front of Final Fantasy 10, I put $384 back in his pocket. Keith is definitely living the life of Riley these days.

Paul found locally made unsweetened Peanuttella at the Perestroika Bakery.

And.

and…..

AND!!!!

I FOUND THE CHAIN!!!!!

It will be waiting for Paul when he, like a good thing, comes back from running with Peggy.

And Brayden’s coming home, goofy grin with a side of misty eyes.

from Gerald
2006-04-18— Posted by: allegra

I’m still at work right now, but couldn’t to get home to tell you this………..

Brayden is coming home today!!!!!

I’ll try and get some more pictures as soon as I can and send them to you.

Cheers

Grandpa Gerald

It’s the Year of the Tiger… no, the Year of the Pig!
2006-04-18— Posted by: allegra

Hot tub all moved
2006-04-18— Posted by: allegra

Well, the frame on the hot tub won’t take another move, but we got the beggar set up in Mike’s soon-to-be-new digs around the corner from us here in East Burnaby. Tom U., Brian, Ian, Trent, Paul, me, Keith and John helped Mike move it using Trent’s trailer.

It’s misting so hard outside that the rain is coming down as slowly as wet snow. Gosh, we’ve had a lot of weather lately.

John actually got a job lead from the Boilermaker’s Union – there is power in the Union, all right. But he had to report to the docks at 7 am so that kinda sucks. Katie’s taking PE this term and LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. This is like saying that Brigitte Bardot has taken up taxidermy, but whatever.

I light a candle for a trip to Hawaii by some friends…. the lucky stiffs! Have fun guys!

I ate tripe last night by accident
2006-04-17— Posted by: allegra

Gah. It showed up in my pho. I ate around it after I figured out it wasn’t a bizarre noodle. Texturally it comes close to being the most grotesque thing I ever ate, although I supposed if it was all I had to sustain my worthless existence I’d chow down with fervour.

However it was good to meet Mike’s “Crazy Friend Emil” and hang with Tori as well.

Keith had a simply dreamy time at the con and played Munchkin and laser tag. Paul sounds like he had a good time; haven’t read the con reports yet….

Three more songs in the mail. Or is that four? Productive weekend, anyway.

Hail
2006-04-16— Posted by: allegra

It hailed with unbelievable fury last night. Katie and I were sitting at the kitchen table around 10:30 and we started to hear pinging noises (which was hail echoing through the stove fan ductwork) and said, “What the hell?”

Then I got up like my tailfeathers wuz afire and ran outside to pick some flowers, while Katie watched, giggling her face off, as I needed flowers for today’s flower communion at church and the way the hail was coming down I didn’t think the daffs would make it. Yes, I’m going to church today, how nutty.

The hail lasted for about twenty minutes and came in three waves, and was completely unlike any other hail I’ve ever seen. It was essentially dense snow, about pea size, up to lima bean size, and did not bounce when it hit the ground. The noise was like shrapnel falling all around, it was really intense.

Apart from church, no plans today except seeing Emil, Mike’s friend from the Yukon, for pho tonight.

Finished Like a Drum. I find if I don’t actually finish the song in one day I get really crabby about going back to a song I’m halfway through. Although, I must admit- when I, sighing with frustration, went back to All The Con Men I Have Known, I was pleasantly surprised how close it was to being accurate. I think the next one will be My Version of the Golden Rule, which is only four lines long and quite unapologetically vulgar…. like many of my songs.

Performed the Tapioca Song for Jim and Jan yesterday morning. Katie was horrified to start her day with my caterwauling her least favourite opus of my oooovre.

Mike and Tori visited last night. It was wonderful to see them.

Paul and Keith are back late tonight.

Daxus could have stayed here last night but he left around ten.

I now have two hours to get clean and maybe crank out a brief tune and then mail it to mOm.

Public service
2006-04-15— Posted by: allegra

I’m sorry, but you can’t say anything bad to me about Mormons ANY MORE. LDS ladies knit these sweaters for fairy penguins, who have survived an oil spill. Aren’t the sweaters adorable? And the penguins too, of course.

Without caffeine….
2006-04-15— Posted by: allegra

Would life still be worth living? Pic is a caffeine molecule, scanged from SFF.net.

Happy feeding noises
2006-04-15— Posted by: allegra

Had Maggie and Glenn, Jim, Jan and Nita over for dinner last night. Ah, so yummy! Paul barbecued chicken and pork to absolute succulent perfection, and prepped the brussel sprouts. (First barbecue of the season is always so wonderful, and Paul had an intensely campfire aroma for snuggles last night, which is not offputting in the slightest.) I put together the spaghetti squash, the salad and the taters; I love trotting out to the back yard to harvest chives, it’s a wonderful feeling, thank you neighbour Cleo.

I am now sitting amidst the pointy knives of perplexity; in a hissy fit, I mislocated something belonging to Paul, and now I have absolutely no clue what I did with the chain he ordered for Dick’s (down the alley neighbour) chainsaw. I foresee a $40 charge to my credit card shortly, because Katie and Paul and I have torn the house apart looking for it and it’s, like, gone. What the hell could I have done with it? I mean, I hid it GOOD and proper.

Paul and Keith departed for Seattle and Norwescon less than an hour ago – the weather is drippy but not disgusting so they should have an okay trip.

Jan and Jim are here and we’re waiting for the Camembert to warm up. Aren’t we just sitting in the lap of luxury.

Maggie brought grandchild pix – Jonathan is three weeks old. And gorgeous, really. (I commented THANK GOD a real boy’s name instead of the assortment of showbizzy monikers helpless children get slandered with these days (and Gerald, I like the name Brayden, so relax!!)) Seems like mom and babe and pop are all doing well, so I’m happy.

Glenn is amused and pleased to see that I am now a Dead Like Me fan.

Had an interesting customer service epiphany yesterday. I got the midi /USB cable and got it running virtually instantly. Then my playback… disappeared. Nothing in the headphones. Played a .wav file to ensure that it wasn’t just the headphones…. and it played back fine. Uh-oh….. software issue! Allegra mucks with it and mucks with it for what seemed an eternity and was possibly half an hour, getting increasingly panicky, and then SPROING, I recollect that there is a website, and a Knowledge Base, so I go to the website, and in two clicks and four characters I’m looking at the solution to my problem, which was that I had the playback on MIDI and not the synthesizer built into the computer. No, duh!!! ‘course it makes perfect sense once somebody tells you what’s happening.

Then I thought about the website at work….. and realized we are doing things horribly horribly wrong with respect to the FAQ section. I need to be the change I want to see in my company’s website. See how my ambitions have fallen from changing the world to just making little bits of information easier to get at.

Oh, the dessert! Maggie brought a WONDERFUL hazelnut mousse cake and we were all explosively full afterwards.

Found out that Dax walked across Burnaby in the pouring rain to get here the night we got the rude awakening; he had good reasons to leave where he was so I have muchly calmed down. I wish I could get Buddha injections and then maybe I wouldn’t always assume the worst.

Well, off to find the chain. It’s gotta be here someplace. Sigh.

Pic is of a Tango T600 electric commuter vehicle. Frankly my dear, I’d rather have a motorcycle; a fully enclosed skateboard has remarkably little appeal.

Urban Combat Skateboard?
2006-04-14— Posted by: allegra

Orderly systems need chaos to survive
2006-04-14— Posted by: allegra

Is it too much to ask an uncaring universe that distraught boyfriends NOT come over at 4 in the f*cking morning? Katie got up at 8, did the dishes as a Parental Countermeasure, and then went back to bed. Daxus is still here and asleep.

Paul’s doing his yoga. I couldn’t even sit in easy position without pain – same for kneeling – and gave up and made, what else, coffee. I react very badly to Paul sounding all calm and unruffled and quiet as he’s addressing me about the yoga – it’s like he’s talking to a wild animal or a retarded child. Which of course is not what he’s doing, it’s how I’m reacting.

Had an amazing family flying dream last night. We were in a six place flying boat that travelled between an Olympian castle and a very interesting everything looking like something from a Tarot deck and made out of stone style town on a shore – I was in the city with Katie and Paul and Keith came and landed on the water and picked us up – hauled us out of a shop that sold interesting objects – picture the Magic Box done up Mediaeval Babes style. Apparently it’s much harder to fly back up to the castle; we picked up a very tall, very broad and very dark pilot for the return trip, which involved flying through a holographically projected cliff. While everybody around me was stifling giggles (the pilot didn’t even acknowledge me) I kept saying, “ExCUSE me, we’re flying into a CLIFF”. Then we flew through the projection and landed at the castle. Very nice dream. And ever so apropos.

seriously ugly dogs
2006-04-13— Posted by: allegra

Jumping Jimmy Criminy!

These are UGLY DOGS.

http://www.sonoma-marinfair.org/uglydogvote.shtml

Great moments in headlines
2006-04-13— Posted by: allegra

Eco friendly auto
2006-04-13— Posted by: allegra

In Finland, they have the Eco Friendly Auto Club, and here, for your edification and amazement, is a WOOD BURNING BUICK.

The Dalai Jarmo (pron Yarmo) forwarded the pic.

Scanged from

http://www.ekoautoilijat.fi/tekstit/kalustoesittely.htm

It’s Here
2006-04-13— Posted by: allegra

After all my whizzing and moaning about the midi / USB cable, it’s here and it works. Phew.

Keith and Paul have decided to go to Norwescon; I’m gonna hang around here and attempt to get enough sleep.

Hot tub moving party Monday night! Be there, or don’t get a chance to soak.

I light a candle for Janice, who has an eye bobo.

I light a candle for Dr. Filk and Brooke and their gig at Norwescon.

Must fly, Paul wants the car today so he’s driving me in a bit early.

Close your eyes and think of Aruba…..
2006-04-12— Posted by: allegra

Now open your eyes and look at this.

Photo credit Tammy.

happy girl
2006-04-12— Posted by: allegra

Keith’s at work (temp), Paul’s asleep, Katie’s at Suzanne’s and all is right with the world.

There is nothing like a long talk with an old friend to make the world a better place. Hugs to all, I’m off to work.

Dead Like Meville
2006-04-11— Posted by: allegra

We’re still in Dead Like Meville but it would probably be a good thing if I got back to my song recording. I just don’t feel like it. I ordered a Midi cable from Musician’s Friend in the US and found out AFTER they got my money that despite the fact it was a stock item, it would be eight weeks before I saw it; they wait to consolidate an entire pallet for Canada before they ship from their third party warehouse. Now, anybody from work reading this will be struck with both the horror and irony of this reason for shabby service; but of course I can’t actually start complaining about work because that might affect the share prices. Speaking of which, the stock peeked up over a certain dollar value recently, so one wag at work opined that the reason we were doing plumbing repairs at Head Office was that we were now “flush”. Ayuh. I really have nothing to complain about, when you factor in the co-workers.

Fake news
2006-04-10— Posted by: allegra

http://www.alternet.org/mediaculture/34634/

This is not news to the more paranoid of my readers.

Who owns what in the media
2006-04-10— Posted by: allegra

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/cool/giants/index.html

lOOk no further for Xmas prezzies
2006-04-10— Posted by: allegra

http://www.toyvault.com/montypython/index.html

A Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch of MY VERY OWN!!! LIFE is GOOD.

Mother dear Mother
2006-04-10— Posted by: allegra

Please knit me a nautilus

No need to cuss

Just knit me a nautilus

I want one, I want two

I want three or four

And when these demands are met

I’ll make some more.

Hail, citizen
2006-04-10— Posted by: allegra

I am now legally entitled to apply for the license to own both restricted and non-restricted firearms.

Although we didn’t have a graduation ceremony, the family elder remarked, “There are two classes of people. There are those who are willing to bear arms and there are serfs.”

I actually said J as in Jesus to a customer, but I was just repeating back what he said to me.

I have a big headache.

I am really looking forward to my long weekend upcoming.

enough sleep
2006-04-09— Posted by: allegra

Paul went running this am.

We’re off to finish the gun safety course shortly, and I’ll probably post more on the subject later.

Dave D from back in Ontario sent me a wonderful literary blog link and I had to drag myself away from it thinking oooops, haven’t posted yet.

Mike and Tori were here last night, it was good to see them.

Projectiles
2006-04-08— Posted by: allegra

Loading and unloading a pump action shotgun is the best thing that’s happened to me lately. I am enjoying myself, obviously. Lots of other stuff is happening; I just can’t describe any of it.

From Danny Schechter’s blog
2006-04-07— Posted by: allegra

I will close with a comment by the late TV News executive Reven Frank who said, The business of giving people what they want is the dope pusher’s argument. News is something people don�t know they are interested in until they hear about it. The job of a journalist is to take what’s important and make it interesting.

A, uh, prank from Brooks AB
2006-04-07— Posted by: allegra

Somebody did this to a friend….. can you imagine coming home and finding this sign on your lawn? The buggers put it in with concrete….

TV trance
2006-04-07— Posted by: allegra

Well, I wish I could claim that I tore off a couple of new songs last night, helped my daughter with her homework, my son with his career planning and found a cure for cancer growing in my front yard, but I didn’t.

I watched 6, yes, ow, 6 episodes of Dead Like Me. I laughed my ass off, what a great show. SO transGRESSive… And then I cried, too. I am such a suck. The scene in the airport just about killed me, I laughed so hard, and when George’s mom kicks her off the front steps of her old house I cried.

Somebody is attempting to reinstitute the old company camping trip. As I have said repeatedly and publicly, I’m going to go unless I’m in traction.

Gun safety course this weekend.

Crap, it’s time to go get on the bus. I am so used to getting a lift into work it’s like I’ve forgotten how to read a bus schedule. Keith’s gone already…. he’s getting off early so he can go to the open house at BCIT.

I light a candle for Paul, who is wonderful, and for Tori, who’s coming over this evening. Also for Rob W to remember to bring back Disc 1 of Firefly, the natives are getting restless.

All heck is busting loose
2006-04-06— Posted by: allegra

I feel like the eye of a hurricane right now. I am perfectly happy and healthy, and enjoying the spring flowers, and it’s thunderbolts, volcanoes and hard cheese for everybody else. So I am being very loving and remembering the words of the sage:

Life is like a cloud of mist

emerging from a mountain cave

and death

a floating moon

in its celestial course

If you think too much

about the meaning they may have

You’ll be bound forever

Like an ass to a stake

disorder in the court
2006-04-05— Posted by: allegra

http://news-info.wustl.edu/tips/page/normal/6845.html

Bird flu in cats, redux
2006-04-05— Posted by: allegra

The first cases of H5N1 among cats were reported in Thailand in 2004, when 14 out of 15 cats in a household near Bangkok became ill and died after eating an infected chicken carcass. Infections were then identified among leopards and tigers fed on poultry at Thai zoos. In Europe, cases have recently been confirmed among domestic cats in Germany and Austria.

Dr Osterhaus said it was also clear that infection is prevalent among domestic cats in countries where bird flu is endemic such as in Thailand, Iraq and Indonesia.

In the last of these, the feline version of the disease has its own name: “It is sufficiently well known to have been given an onomatopoeic name in the local Javanese dialect � �aargh-plop�,” he said.

Mother dear Mother
2006-04-05— Posted by: allegra

Please knit me a squid

I am your kid

So knit me a squid

Don’t worry about what I do

Or curse what I did

Because if you love me

You’ll knit me a squid.

The music of the spheres
2006-04-05— Posted by: allegra

I always thought it would be nice. But if you take one Johannes Kepler theory, one contemporary nerd with time on his hands, and a music program, you get this: http://members.aol.com/alwaycomp/Kepler.mp3

It definitely sounds spacey, but nice it is not. Hey, I wonder if I can get this in a ring tone?

Just for you
2006-04-05— Posted by: allegra

Sometimes I run pictures or mention things that have meaning to a vanishingly small number of people. However, this picture goes off in a lot of directions.

I grew up with Mad Magazine. That means that from the time I could talk, comic artists as great as Sergio Aragones were part of my visual thesaurus. I also grew up with musical comedy. I’ve always been fascinated by transsexuality; I bought Jan Morris’ Conundrum as soon as it came out in paperback, and I still think it’s one of the best written bios EVAH; and, of course, I know Sandy.

I never met Arn Saba, the limner of this comic. However, Sandy knew him, and even gave me a Neil the Horse button once, which had the deathless tag, “Making the world safe for musical comedy.” Now Arn is a woman named Katherine living in the US. And this pic is for Sandy, because the roots go everywhere.

I light a candle for Janice. I light a candle for Tori. I light a candle for Brooke, who won a filkwriting songtest. That is so weird…. I just typed that without really thinking about it, and I think I’ll just hit the old stet button. I light a candle for Keith, who’s working temp again, but has taken the liberty of going over to a different agency for better work and more money (learning how to wear capitalistic drag is hard for my little revolutionary in training….)

One loofah, and one jalapeno, sprouted. Everything else is growing at a tremendous rate.

I light a candle for Katie, who is having a heck of a time memorizing her lines for Drama. Sigh. They keep adding stuff and there’s less than a week to go. I told her not to get angry… this is what real freaking life is like!

This is going to sound insane, but my boss is out of town, and I miss him. I will try hard not to set anything on fire, or put any beans up my nose, while he’s gone.

I light a special unscented candle to grow fast and strong for little Brayden!

Heavy sigh
2006-04-04— Posted by: allegra

I have nothing to say, but if I don’t post SOMETHING my mother worries. Oh. I guess I have one small small piece of news. I finished another song. An Evening of Serious Drinking now exists in sheet music form.

Lazy day
2006-04-03— Posted by: allegra

Saw A Very Long Engagement with the kids yesterday and LOVED IT. I will definitely be putting that one back in the pile to see again. Also watched O Brother Where Art Thou for the uncountableth time when Casey was here for dinner on Saturday. So yesterday was a lazy day. Seeing as how the phone system crashed on Friday, it is interesting to speculate what horrors await at work.

Newest family member
2006-04-02— Posted by: allegra

Here’s Cousin Gerald holding Brayden, his first and most beloved grandchild. Happy sigh.

Giddily happy
2006-04-01— Posted by: allegra

I am happy to report, with a giddy and empyrean glee, that Keith and Kate and Cousin Lexi and Rob went to the opening night of Slither…. only to find that NATHAN FILLION, Captain Tightpants himself, was in the audience watching it with his girlfriend. (She is tiny, and very very cute.) Nathan was wearing a hoodie and jeans.

Katie phoned me to boast that she had seen them but the phone cut out in a burst of static.

THEN Lexi took them to a French Restaurant (Katie, “Mom, the menu was ENTIRELY in French…. and they CHANGE it EVERY DAY.”) as part of her ongoing effort to expose the kids to somet’ing besides sushi and cheeseburgers. Kate had minced steak with garlic and herbs and Keith had chicken with peppercorns… I know, because they got doggie bags. The horrors of a Scottish ancestry!!

Paul is continuing to behave like a newlywed husband (indulgent and goo goo eyed). I canNOT say I am displeased. There hasn’t been a harsh word between us in a week, it’s utterly bizarre.

The last movie Lexi worked on was Slither, so I raise a coffee to toast her most excellent career coda.

Grr argh
2006-03-31— Posted by: allegra

Keith blew off Karate last night and came home after Katie went to bed (?!) having blown his brains out on Warcraft. He’s paying for the Karate so if he wants to blow it off that’s his headache but of course much parental tsk tsking this morning.

My boss announced a long overdue project, deadline today at 10 am, and as I drew breath to complain about the timeline, he explained, in the brisk tones of a man trying to cram as much as possible in before his own execution, what HE was up against. Seldom have I been so effectively and efficiently reduced to docility…. as I sourly remarked to hubby this morning. I deserved it, and now am clean, shiny, and ready to work on something I should have already done…. more later. I’m actually in a pretty good mood.

Katie and I played cribbage last night. I beat her by 2 POINTS. I never beat her – she’s evil with the discards, that girl. It was astonishing to win at all.

Beer and whining
2006-03-30— Posted by: allegra

Big shout out to Steve and Mike, two of my fave cow-irkers, for our mutual therapy session at the hotel bar last night. I started out the discussion with What Are the 3 Biggest Irritants about Work right now, and a couple of hours and two jugs of beer later we had mapped out a strategy for bringing our legitimate concerns to a higher level. No, really. It WAS a work meeting; but there are some things that just go better with beer.

A very huggy, special shout out to Paul, who is a simply magnificent human being, and has demonstrated thoughtfulness, generosity of spirit and good humour in such a wonderful way to me and to others in our family/extended family over the last weeks. I am blessed to have him as such an important person in my life. Happy sigh.

Keith’s out looking for work (despite having an interview Monday), Katie is freaking out about her drama presentation, John is visiting rellies back east, Pokey is being very affectionate, and life is perrrrrty darned good right now.

Resisting temptation
2006-03-29— Posted by: allegra

Those of you who are shacking/married know that sometimes you will share with your spouse a joke which is not, uh, shareable with the great mass of people. Such was the case last night. Suffice it to say Paul and I got a good laugh out of it, and that I am in a calm and friendly state of mind today as Paul donated about half hour of desperately required massage. (I worked on his scalp and face). I am really really happy he’s off nights; I miss my teddy bear when he’s not there.

Katie took her boyfriend for coffee the other day (having learned she still had money in her account!). I covered off the dishes for her last night so she could do homework.

Last night I dreamed that I lived in a city made of books. I also dreamed that I found a musical instrument (weird looking critter, like a 16 string cittern made of black composite), and once I found out that it was something I could play on I started singing “Lifeline” – and everybody else started singing something else even louder and I attacked them. Like, physically; like, ripping their shirts up and pounding on them. How…. childish. I was displeased with my dream-self.

Got a postcard (Rolling Stones, Exile on Main Street) from my ex-husband yesterday. I should write him back.

My loofahs haven’t germinated. I wonder how long it takes; nothing but a couple of Jalapenos and the sugar beets and flax have come up. The tobacco is stubbornly sitting this one out as well, and after I bought nice big decorative pots for them, the ingrates.

Keith is still coughing but a little better every day.

enough sleep
2006-03-28— Posted by: allegra

Couldn’t sleep until 1:30 last night. Richard Fleischer died the day before yesterday. As a memorial, we watched Red Sonja, one of THE WORST movies I ever saw in the theatre, and really, we should have watched 20,000 Leagues under the Sea, as that *was* his magnum opus. Kirk Douglas, who had the world’s sweetest ass at the time, dancing around in front of a bunch of appreciate sailors!? happy squee.

labour unrest
2006-03-27— Posted by: allegra

From the Blenz on Robson……

More things you don’t want to know
2006-03-27— Posted by: allegra

Whatever you do, don’t google image adipocere, like I did, like a butthead, yesterday. I know there are a lot of CSI fans out there, but there are some things you just don’t want to know. I also watched a time lapse film of a pig decomposing. I know mOm is a pig fan, but there are limits, so I am not providing the link. Sic transit gloria internet.

Paul and I bailed on Carly’s game about halfway through the second half – it was raining pretty steady, although not particularly hard, and I was soaked through on the back of my neck. I wasn’t particularly cold, which I owe to the fact that I hauled wood and brush for about an hour and a half before we left – my core temperature was a-boiling, for sure – and now there’s only minor cleanup left in the yard (which of course consists of pick up sticks – it’s time to get out the rake). Standing next to the walnut tree and watching it weep – it’s crying (unlike the cherry or the pear) with a steady rain of green tears – almost made me burst into tears as well.

Does anybody want holly seedlings? I have three holly seedlings, planted by birds pooping off the top of the side yard fence, and they can’t stay there for more than another two weeks as that’s when the beds are going in. Pic is of Jan, me (in a highly characteristic, front end loader kinda pose) and Jim. It hasn’t started to rain real hard quite yet. I’m also posting this pic to demonstrate to my mother that I actually wear my Jayne hat in public.

One thing after another
2006-03-26— Posted by: allegra

Katie’s doing dishes (!), mOmandpOp watched the Buffy Musical episode last night and liked it (!!), Paul says he’s doing okay on three hours sleep (Nice try, don’t believe him) and Carly has a soccer game this afternoon that we are going to try to get to. Keith is still working on a strep throat; I don’t care as long as he doesn’t give it to me. John is off in Ontario filking up a storm and I am trying to recover from reading the entire Xenogenesis trilogy in what was essentially four extended reads over two days.

Other than policing up the lawn today and seeing Carly’s game I have no plans.

Has anybody noticed that global climate change has hit the big time!? Front of Time, all over the place….

I’ve posted the link before, but if you want the sober, science climate change news explained for peeps, go to http://www.realclimate.org/. I recently tripped over http://peakoildebunked.blogspot.com/ which is a very interesting blog indeed, and a nice antidote for Apocalyptic attitudes. He’s dead wrong about a lot of things, but his recent post about energy conservation as an Olympic sport was pretty entertaining & informative. Having problems with allergies? Check out http://goalsuccess.typepad.com/goaltips/2006/03/how_to_nuke_you.html (I especially like the disclaimers). I’ll see if I can get some pics from the game and post them later……

Baby Hippo, Henry Doorly Zoo
2006-03-25— Posted by: allegra

Spa day
2006-03-24— Posted by: allegra

Avocado scrub…. I’d show the pic of Katie but I don’t have her permission.

Lazy day
2006-03-24— Posted by: allegra

After my extremely wearing week I decided to take the day off.

Keith is playing Prince of Persia, Kate’s asleep, Paul’s off running and I’m trying to think about what order we’re going to do our Spa Day stuff in. I actually got one of those facial steam/manicure set combos at London Thugs, I mean Drugs, yesterday. So we’re going to do the manicure, pedicure, salt scrub, facial blah blah blah thing, and then head over to the salon to get our hairs trimmed.

Paul’s off to Delta to help Mike M with his plane. All in all it should be a lovely lazy day, exactly what I need after this week.

Monday I was the only person in the call center. Everybody else called in sick – four other people. I find it entertaining and odd that after learning that I’ll be off the phones in six months or so I get blindsided with being the Thin Blue Line of customer service for an entire day. Funnier still was how I ended up at work half an hour early. These things are sent to try us. Anyway, I’m going to take my eyes off this computer screen and give myself a rest from the phosphor dot glare for a while.

apparently there’s a couple unaccounted for
2006-03-23— Posted by: allegra

It’s not clear yet, but there may be a couple missing from the ferry sinking.

My sugar beets
2006-03-23— Posted by: allegra

The sugar beets are coming up! They are very cute.

Roundup
2006-03-22— Posted by: allegra

This snake was found in the women’s can in Sydney Airport. I know a lot of people who are scared shitless of snakes, so I’d say a washroom is a good place to see one.

William Shatner, one of the world’s greatest ecktors, was born on this day many many many years ago.

Organlegging is alive and well in New Jersey… NOW I know what happened to Jimmy Hoffa, he got carved up for skin grafts…. The snake, please!!!

scroll down to the header Best lovers?
2006-03-22— Posted by: allegra

http://www.newsdissector.org/blog/

Then read the comment on the difference between Democrats and Republicans as lovers. That gave me the best laugh I’ve had in ages.

Ferry sinking part II
2006-03-22— Posted by: allegra

Another Classic Canadian Accident (TM)
2006-03-22— Posted by: allegra

Picture copyright John Harvey. The Queen of the North sank off the coast of BC last night. Nobody died. In the next post, I’ll show the map with the red star showing the location of most of the survivors. It was blowing about 75k and choppy; no word on why she went aground. As for it being another Classic Canadian Accident (TM), that’s where there’s millions of dollars of property damage and no injuries, something that seems to happen A LOT in Canada.

wHOOOO ARE YOU?
2006-03-21— Posted by: allegra

From Cousin Gerald, by way of a friend.

sundry and various
2006-03-21— Posted by: allegra

Paul’s off to Seattle; Katie has a chest cold (again); I’m still recovering from yesterday’s work surprise (all 4 agents in the Call Center called in sick, you’re it, alone, SURPRISE!); Keith is starting the job hunt again.

I’m off to see Tori tonight; she’s back from Glasgow and I’m sure she has a million stories.

The things you see at Save-On
2006-03-20— Posted by: allegra

Photo credit Dave D.

Be nice to Keith
2006-03-20— Posted by: allegra

He was let go from his job today. (Not customer service oriented enough (ie manic smiling), although they had no complaints about the speed of his work.) He figured that was what was happening so he took in his uniform and handed it back. Right now he’s sitting in the Burnaby Library across from Highgate and reading Neil Gaiman and thinking bleak bleak thoughts.

He called up looking for some “buck up” and I supplied same.

Heavy sigh.

The weird thing is, I just remembered that I got fired from Grandma Lee’s Bakery in London, when I was his age. Cazart! I’m so old, I’ve forgotten the jobs I was fired from! There’s hope, Keith, really there is.

Spiderlamb, spiderlamb
2006-03-20— Posted by: allegra

Gonna have, his own web cam….. credit Agence France Presse.

Candle for losses
2006-03-20— Posted by: allegra

I light a candle for a theft suffered by dear dear friends, and I administer a psychic kick in the ass to the mean people who did the thieving. Guess I missed the point of forgiveness.

Back to work this morning. NO more VOICEmail. Yeeeeeeeehawwwwwwwwwwww! (I used to have 26 voicemails waiting for me when I came in Monday morning, but somebody turned it off.

Cousin Gerald sent a picture puzzle put together by Virgin Digital which is rebuses of band names, past and present. Keith and Kate and I had a great time messing with it, and got about thirty five names (out of seventy four, and two of them that I got were slightly wrong) in about 20 minutes. A very nice piece of intergenerational fun.

You know, the only way you can rebel against parents who raised you as an atheist is to get religion. Becoming an axe murderer just wasn’t an option.

Leo and Linda/Laurel and Etta
2006-03-19— Posted by: allegra

Had a brief and lovely visit from Cousin Laurel and her youngest, Etta (who kept her nose FIRMLY in a book while she was here and politely asked if she could leave at a certain time so she could go to the Vancouver Public Library), and a less brief but equally lovely visit from Leo and Linda. Linda, despite having walking pneumonia, is a complete force of nature, and having Leo around just makes me feel quietly happy.

Mother, you will be pleased to know that we did a Standard Family Thing. We went for ice cream, except in this case, for 218 kinds of gelato at the big Gelato Palace on Venables.

Katie promptly said she wants to take Dax there, and I can’t blame her.

I have a lot of wonderful leftovers in the fridge from our meal at Chong Lum Hin (kids were in attendance, and Keith tried a new food, minced beef and spinach).

I ditched Mothers Day and am now blasting through “She” my ONE AND ONLY attempt at arena rock. It was meant to be sung by a Guy With Big Hair. I only started yesterday and I’m almost done, which tells you how formulaic and metrically unchallenging it is.

Katie is playing PS2 and Keith is kibitzing while waiting for me to get off the computer.

Strange email award goes to….
2006-03-18— Posted by: allegra

Sandy, whom I’ve previously mentioned, owns and operates the Red Deer Lodge and Campground close by Algonquin Park, in Ontario. In her on line listing with Holiday Junction, she mentions that she has a clean beach.

Alas, the perils of Google.

Sandy recently received this email. I have stripped off the attributions out of mercy for the woman who typed it…..

I am looking for any information you can give regarding cleaning a beach. I am asking on behalf of a town in Newfoundland and Labrador which has a beach in desperate need of cleaning.

Thanks

Lazy Saturday morning
2006-03-18— Posted by: allegra

Katie is playing PS2, Keith’s asleep, and I’m contemplating the house cleaning I have to do and saying Bleagh. I did manage to find the ac adapter for the Casio so I unpronged myself from the spear of irony, and have gone back to working away on my songs.

Leo and Linda (I have previously posted pics at Christmas and at other times) will be here overnight, and I may see cousin Laurel and her daughter today as well. A family type day….

Have a good one everybody! The weather in Vancouver is promising sunny good cheer.

On a less cheerful note, I saw three dead rats and a dead seagull on the way back from dropping Paul at the airport. That’s the highest roadkill count in quite a while; and the last one was about a block from here. On the other hand, it’s all critters God made enough of, so it’s all, if not good, then suggestably okay.

60 bars
2006-03-18— Posted by: allegra

You would think, it being St Patrick’s Day and all, that the 60 bars I am referring to are the 60 bars I’ve visited over my life. They would include the Elbow Room and the Spoke’n Rim and the Bavarian Tavern and Mingles and Nag’s Head North and the El Mocambo and the Silver Dollar and the Ox Box and Eagle’s Nest and the Elephant and Castle and Larry’s Hideaway and Toby’s and Barbie’s.

Yes, when I lived in Montreal, I had a Barbie’s at the end of my street. And a damned good depanneur, too; they always had St. Ambroise Blonde in the cooler.

Life was good, and I was 30 pounds lighter, although definitely meaner and dumber than I am now. Good trade, if trade it was, now that I come to think of it, fat for brains and manners. Or maybe the fat just slows ya down; you just LOOK smarter because you’re not launching yourself lustfully at every bit of trouble that comes your way.

Howsoever that may be, the 60 bars I was referring to are actually the 60 bars in “Mother’s Day” I have completed; I’m nowhere close to done and the whole project is starting to take on the leaden weight of “Gone with the Wind”.

I am so far pleased with the results.

I have sent away for a midi cable to connect the Casio keyboard I bought my daughter with my bonus money last year to my computer, and of course having spent the f*cking money I cannot find the ac adapter for the Casio. As I literally sell ac adapters for a living (none of which would work, thanks for asking)……. the irony of this is so intense that I feel like I’m being repeatedly jabbed by a spear while I lie on the ground and squirm, while yelling Holy Virgin! Lay off! Okay I’m sensitive, it’s not that big a deal, I’m just…

Yeah.

Anyway, I’m going to make one more horrified and gingerly inspection of my daughter’s room, in case the ac adapter decides to leap up and recite “Invictus” while emitting a pale green miasma. Because, folks, it would take that much to draw attention in the thong bestrewn (

Ed., that’s enough of that) so anyways I hope I’ll find it.

Work continues to be much improved. Tomorrow is my ninth anniversary there.

Gianna, Peter T, Rob of Nine, Dave M, Patricia and Dave D were my companions at lunch today (Mario, being the sane adult in the crowd, stayed back at the office and performed a strange ritual called “work”). I stood Patricia and Rob a beer. From this you may safely assume that as much of a worker’s paradise as BC is, we weren’t in the company cafeteria.

I was very happy when I got back to the office. Blithe, even.

Jumping Jimmy Christmas
2006-03-17— Posted by: allegra

So a couple of weeks after the picture of the new Abominable snow lobster comes out…. the STUFFED TOY!????

DNA in the sky
2006-03-17— Posted by: allegra

Isn’t this a pretty picture? Its called the DNA nebula, pic credit NASA.

I have put my flax, loofah, tobacco, jalapeno and sugar beet seeds in their little starter homes. They look very cute.

When I came home last night, Keith and Kate were playing a racing game head to head on the PS2 Katie borrowed from Dax. It was extremely cute.

Cuter still was overhearing Katie explain to a buddy she hadn’t spoken to for two years on the phone,

No, actually, I don’t drink anymore.

No, actually, I don’t go to parties anymore.

No, actually, I don’t talk to her anymore; she thought I stole her thongs (ed note, I KNOW this sounds ridiculous, but it’s true) and I don’t really like her very much.

Are you kidding? She’s fatter than I was at my chubbiest.

Well, I hang out with my boyfriend, go to school, do my homework, do the dishes, play on the PS2 and hang out with my family.

Yes, I’m sure it sounds very boring to you.

ED note… just when I’m thinking how proud of her I am, she comes out with this gem, “Do you know where he lives, I have to beat the crap out of that kid!”

“He just really deserves it, take my word for it.”

Okay, that wasn’t cute, but I really don’t think she’s serious.

No kangaroos in Austria
2006-03-16— Posted by: allegra

So, of course, here’s an Austrian kangaroo… note the snow.

enough sleep
2006-03-16— Posted by: allegra

I made the mistake of going to the band name generator site.

Allegra Meltdown

Allegra Century

Allegra of the Algae

Shrewd Allegra

Allegra Piracy

Selfish Allegra

Allegra People

Allegra Arcade

Binary Allegra and the Thirty Lieutenant

Allegra Minute

Intelligent design
2006-03-16— Posted by: allegra

So as we continue to truck down life’s highway, isn’t it interesting how design is becoming more – naturalistic?

This device is called a Powersquid.

all hail rishathra
2006-03-16— Posted by: allegra

He died on the 15th
2006-03-16— Posted by: allegra

I hate having my site hosted in a different time zone.

H P Lovecraft deathday
2006-03-16— Posted by: allegra

He died on this day in 1937. RIP, you squiddly guy you.

Note from my brO
2006-03-15— Posted by: allegra

Allegra, this just occurred to me the other day as I walked the halls of UVic with my ears covered to avoid serious damage to my hearing from people screaming on their cell phones. [1] Regular phones provide audible feedback consisting of the talker’s voice, amplified and emitted from the earpiece. [2] The louder their own voice seems to the talker, the more quietly they tend to speak. You can test this easily enough on a regular phone that allows you to adjust the earpiece volume. Office phones usually have a feature like this. [3] Cell phones apparently don’t have this feedback feature. My own cell phone has an earpiece volume setting but this has no apparent effect on sounds coming from the microphone. In fact I can detect no evidence whatsoever that sound from the microphone is being directed to the earpiece. [4] So I think this explains why everyone seems so loud when talking on cell phones. The whole notion of feedback as way to regulate your voice volume is pretty well understood. If you cover your ears you tend to talk louder. Same thing if you’re temporarily deaf after a loud concert. [5] Now the real question: assuming I’m right about cells having no talker feedback, WHY is that the case? My suspicion is that it’s to save power. To get the sound from the microphone to the earpiece and provide sufficient feedback strength, you have to amplify it. Cell phones are all about minimizing power use for extended charge life. It makes sense, but this is yet another case of unintended consequences, IMHO. Jeff

Working away
2006-03-15— Posted by: allegra

Paul went up to Kamloops with Mike J yesterday – the weather was apparently foul – and got back in time for some daylight, so they hung the engine.

It hailed with unbelievable fury around 10 to 6 last evening. I was just dropping Rob of Nine off at his place after a trek to the liquor store in Lougheed Mall *no Lion Winter Ale OF COURSE*, and the skies opened and 1.5 cm chunks of ice fell for about ten minutes. I was figuring it was pretty local and it was – my place is only about 4 km away by car and nothing fell in East Burnaby. The temperature on the ground was about plus 4 so obviously nothing lasted, but Yumpin Yiminy it was slippery underfoot. I remember driving by a jogger who was blinking somewhat more often than usual but appeared otherwise unperturbed, and one seriously distressed looking motorcyclist, who had pulled over and put his kerchief up.

Futurama-dama continues unabated with a side of a 3rd season of Babylon 5…

Last night I resisted and stuck to my song writing, and am now very well into Mothers Day, including the dirgelike bass line. Hm. Well, I have another half hour to work on it before the work cycle starts again so I’ll get back to it.

Since it’s been ages since I posted a decent moose picture, I will leave you with this gem, culled from a site in New Zealand of all places. Provenance is entirely unknown.

Feelin’ Squiddy Part Deux
2006-03-15— Posted by: allegra

So my mother writes me…..

With just a little encouragement, I might knit a squid…

R

My ever so UNfilial response:

Really? So typing Knitting pattern squid in Google is too much for you? What a drag it is getting old.

Okay, now you can throw a pillow at me and scowl.

A

And my mother’s response, a warm and measured….:

Right. So I found the squid knitting pattern, and it wouldn’t print out. I HAD thought I could try it without a pattern but now that I know there IS one, I want it!

Knitting a squid is as a phrase in English on par with another one unlikely to be heard: Hand me that piano. That appeals to me.

R

Karl Marx RIP
2006-03-14— Posted by: allegra

Karl died 123 years ago today.

We’re coming up on 20 years after the Chernobyl disaster. I remember being pregnant with Keith and feeling very helpless and sad. So expect the usual media feculence as we ramp up to the actual anniversary.

Yrch!
2006-03-14— Posted by: allegra

Apart from my yard looking like Saruman’s minions have been at it, I’m doing okay. Paul, in a masterful demonstration of his command of space, removed the branches on the walnut without bringing down any hydro lines, and if you’d seen the conundrum you would have pronounced it a poser and likely said, plaintively, why not hire a professional. But with a borrowed Sears electric chainsaw (a damn good one too!) and the determination for which he is justly famous, he got the last of the branches down at sunset… One wire did get munched a bit…. but it was the cable – which Paul took side cutters to about 6 years ago, anyway, where it came into the house – when we found out the cable wasn’t actually disconnected and the kids were using it. Snip. Paul is a man not to dick around with.

I have the car today, yippee. Paul and Mike J are driving to Kamloops to pick up the engine for Mike’s aircraft, John’s just gone off to work, Katie’s in the embrace of Morpheus and Keith has to work later today. Blew off karate, the little weiner. Futurama proved TOO much for him, and frankly for me too.

What a sitcom it is! What mastery of the form! At least twice an episode I find myself laughing so hard the kids tell me to shut the fuck up, they can’t hear the dialogue.

I am sad about the trees, and Paul’s really not happy about it either, but it wasn’t our idea to plant those trees on a sewer line, and we will be planting more trees on the property – on the other side, little fruit trees.

As per Brooke’s request, I am working on the song Mothers Day.

Work has finally lightened up. Oatmeal is calling, must run.

Feelin’ squiddy
2006-03-14— Posted by: allegra

I feel squiddy.

http://community.livejournal.com/molluscious/85967.html?#cutid1

enough sleep
2006-03-13— Posted by: allegra

We sang and played at Peggy and Tom’s last night. Tom cooked a stellar meal, and I made a DESSERT! Yes, yesterday was a day I got off my ass and did stuff, including mending, laundry, trimming figs (I am SO sore) and baking a spice cake for Peggy (and a small army of food colouring enthusiasts, truth be told). Paul and I slept like kitty cats. I had yet another dream about a coworker – this one involved me looking puzzled while he tried to explain something to me. This is so close to what happens in real life that I woke up grinning. I can’t tell the difference between reality and dreams. Here comes Paul up the back stairs, having gone running with Peggy (enterprising folks that they are); Katie is asleep in bed and Keith is long gone off to the early shift at Cobs.

I awoke to the sound of a woodpecker drumming in a tree.

Super sad sad note. All the trees in the side yard are coming down. The sewer line is right under them and we’ve already had one near disaster. Only the walnut was productive, and only for the freaking squirrels, anyway. Instantly I have a sunny south facing side yard to plant in.

Karl got cuttings from our fig trees. Apparently they are dead easy to propagate.

“My vegetable love should grow ….
2006-03-13— Posted by: allegra

Vaster than empires, and more slow.”

Perverted pepper and quote (Andrew Marvell) supplied by WHO ELSE, Dr. Filk.

Confluence of coinkidinks
2006-03-13— Posted by: allegra

Cousin Gerald found this on a BBC website. It purports to be a recent picture of Glasgow. Now, Glasgow is the place where Toribird is shortly to return from (she finished all of her assignments and got them graded and she’s coming home like two weeks early (Tigger bounce)). So it looks like the Glaswegians get snow. Or, as I read in a Scots Dialect on line dictionary, “Aw naw, SNAW!” Of course, the logo on the van makes it standalone funny, but I wanted you to enjoy the coincidence.

Weekend news roundup
2006-03-12— Posted by: allegra

Absolutely nothing is happening. Everybody go back to sleep.

Bye Vijay
2006-03-11— Posted by: allegra

My colleague Vijay is fleeing the scene. It is tempting to place a bug on the wall of the room where he will be having his exit interview, but it did give us an excuse to drag the teetotal dude to the golf course. Tom U (ach, how I miss him) and Jim A (ditto), Mike, Robbie B, Rob of Nine and Liz, Jessica, Brian C, Venu, Kevin C, Sau, myself and Alex S saw him off.

Jessica was having conniptions at the prospect of her stagette. I am so frikkin glad that is something I will NEVER experience that words cannot describe it. Considering that 3 beers make me garrulous (what, more than normal? ed.) and 7 make me puke, a stag would probably result in my presentation to RCH with alcohol poisoning.

Katie just called from Suzanne’s to indicate all is well; bring underwear. Bring underwear? Okay, I won’t ask any questions. (Actually she needs two days’ worth of clothes but the underwear question sort of got my attention.)

Keith is playing Prince of Persia on PS2 and making a certain amount of interesting banging noises.

Slobodan Milosevic is dead. Happens to the best of us, eventually. Of course there is the little issue of the autopsy… at least he wasn’t alive and dead at the same time, like poor Schrodinger-style Arafat.

enough sleep
2006-03-11— Posted by: allegra

Moose in Bondage
2006-03-11— Posted by: allegra

God, looks like a dull day in rural New Hampshire. “Mert, the moose tied himself up in the swing set again.”

Did you know there is a Distinguished Moose Biologist Award? Bernt Earik Saether of Trondheim Norway won it in 2002. He was inspired to study moose after one bit his sister. I’m making all this up, but you can check it on the inertnet if you like. I know what you’re thinking, Brooke. You can’t fool me. It’s time I posted a picture of a moose playing BANJO! Now THAT would be entertaining. But as moose do not actually have hands, I’ll be a while getting that picture to you.

Busy
2006-03-10— Posted by: allegra

I appear to be recovered from my migraine. A lot of snow fell last night, and I’m glad I wasn’t driving in it because the 106 bus driver was doing chewies in the snow trying to get out of bus stops; he refused to go down the hill into New West and was cycling between the mall and Edmonds Station.

That was because I was on the way back from Mike’s place, where I went to commingle with his harem (

Prior to Mike’s I was with Paul at Katie’s parent teacher night. It’s frikkin weird to think she’s in grade 12. In fact, I felt my innards contract a little when I typed that, no lie.

Then I jumped on the Skytrain (which, when the doors open on the new cars is kyTrain, did you know that?) and disembarked at Nanaimo (I think it would be bad form to say I ‘got off’ at Nanaimo) and walked over to his place. Yes, this news item is full of temporal distortions.

When I got home, Savage Love was neatly folded face up on the living room couch. I didn’t even wait that long for the bus at Edmonds, which is a frikkin miracle, considering how underdressed for the weather I was.

Side note to Rob of Nine. My new record is 7.

Getting to work today will be interesting. It’s 8:15 and Paul isn’t home yet – I’m supposed to have the car.

Pic is of the snow last night.

Here piggy piggy piggy
2006-03-10— Posted by: allegra

For Mom

Interesting
2006-03-09— Posted by: allegra

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Acts of Service
with a secondary love language being
Words of Affirmation.

Complete set of results

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don’t understand our partner’s requirements, or even our own. We all have a “love tank” that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

My head the weather balloon
2006-03-09— Posted by: allegra

Between midnight and noon today (March 8) the barometer dropped from 101.9 kP to 99.9 kP. My head responded by giving me one of the most bizarre migraines I’ve ever lived through. I went home around noon feeling completely screwed up (Thank God Paul could pick me up) and only just woke up – it’s about five thirty on March 8 whatever the date header says….

I got:

Visual disturbances (like, vertical bars in front of my eyes;

balance disturbances;

coordination disturbances;

unbelievably stiff painful neck, but just on my right side, which persists;

differences in colour vision between left and right eyes;

worst dizziness I’ve ever had when I hadn’t been drinking and didn’t have flu;

transient nausea at the commencement of the ‘ride’.

Get this… appetite and tolerance for noise and light were undisturbed, except for video screens. Even now I’m thinking I should just shut ‘er down and run a bath… the screen is too harsh to look at. As always the fix was to take codeine and lie down. I’m going to go run a bath. More later. That was just plain weird. My brain never ceases to amaze me.

Various
2006-03-08— Posted by: allegra

Hey Alan, I dreamed about you last night! You had grown much taller (?!) and when I went walking with you I had to wrap my arm around your leg. Odd dream, but pleasant withal. The rest of my dreams were full of greasy salesmen trying to sell me “snake chow” when I KNOW that snakes eat live food only. Hm. Wonder if I should read something into that.

Puddled briefly last night.

Shown is a new hairy lobster. Actually, it isn’t. It’s a whole new genus of crustacean called kawa hirsuta. The hairs are eye substitutes because this critter is blind. It was discovered in very deep water off of Easter Island. I find it quite beautiful although there likely will be other opinions. Credit AP.

expire of the cuteness
2006-03-07— Posted by: allegra

http://cityrag.blogs.com/main/2006/03/my_kitty.html

For more pix like:

Ali Farka Toure
2006-03-07— Posted by: allegra

Is dead after a long illness; RIP.

Perseus taking a shower
2006-03-07— Posted by: allegra

Perseus in marble
2006-03-07— Posted by: allegra

Perseus in marble
2006-03-07— Posted by: allegra

A pictorial meditation on Perseus
2006-03-07— Posted by: allegra

Cellini’s masterpiece, seen from the side.

Pig snouts
2006-03-07— Posted by: allegra

Strange, strange, are the ways of fortune. I actually had a good reason to be searching for images of pigs looking up. What I looked at instead, about half the time, were repulsive veterinary style closeups of mucosal diseases of swine. Hrrr! bah…. brrrrrr bleaughhh! It was beyond words ghastly, and yet strangely compelling.

So after looking at a LOT of diseased pigs, I found one pig that was *almost* anatomically correct in the correct posture for me to thieve in the name of kitsch, and decided to quit while I was ahead. I am planning a piece of fabric art for my mother, which involves an enchanting young pig looking adoringly at a hummingbird. Thus the warning about kitsch.

Work was actually entertaining in a dry, pinned to a neat label in a neat box, kind of way.

I light candles for Peggy, Brooke, Rev Katie, Dr Filk, my folks, Jeff, Jerome, Tammy, Alan, Janice, Mike, Tori, Keith, Kate, Patricia, Rob of Nine, Peter T, Gianna, Lindsay. I send virtual hugs to Paul. (As soon as I typed that, Paul magically appeared behind me and started massaging my shoulders, which struck me as being pretty funny as coincidences go.) He’s gone off to look after himself and he deposited a kiss on me on his way out the door.

My life has changed abruptly for the better and the worse. My mother’s mother said repeatedly in my hearing that her family could never be TOO big, but she didn’t give me the heart-stopping corollary, which is that you have one fuck of a lot more people to worry about then or be forced to cough up for, which is not always a good trade for the number of relatives you can sponge from, if you follow my venal train of thought.

I’m signing off, Buffyverse is taking over again and I’ll have to take refuge in my bedroom or be suck’d into its aweful power especially as it’s my fave 2nd season ‘sode. Must fleeeee, and take Mandolin with to drown out noise. Yes. A Plan. I have my grip on a Plan.

Word cloud
2006-03-06— Posted by: allegra

Here’s a word cloud of my blog.

Many remarkable things.
2006-03-06— Posted by: allegra

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhm67vUMamg

mOm, please do not feel obliged to watch this. But if you do, please be advised that the most remarkable thing about this extremely, uh, sophisticated and adult oriented video, is the guy playing the banjo… at least in my opinion. And as a warning for everyone else, if the sight of dildoes and pasties bothers you, please don’t go there.

I am not going to say who sent this to me, but I will admit “Geez, that’s kind of a personal question!” occurred to me as I was viewing it. By copy to Dr. Filk… I believe you saw a band perform this live at an Ivan Coyote book launch, or maybe you didn’t.

Bambi Blanco II
2006-03-06— Posted by: allegra

I just HAD to post the other picture. Cute as the dickens, ain’t it.

Bambi Blanco
2006-03-06— Posted by: allegra

This picture came to me via cousin Gerald, who got it from a coworker, who got it from a friend who lives in Texas. This little creature, nicknamed Powder by the family who got him briefly before the game warden came and got him, was hours old when they nearly hit him with their car. They figured he was a baby goat, but he’s a whitetail deer fawn. Look how small he is compared to the shoe!!! He took to the bottle right away and will probably end up at a game farm or petting zoo.

Travelling about
2006-03-05— Posted by: allegra

Paul, Katie, Keith and I got on the ferry to Victoria this morning. I spent the whole ferry trip sorting through my pile of songs and writing out lyrics for songs from memory, and adding cards for new songs; all boring administrivia stuff, nothing as fun as actually getting the songs into sheet music form.

My dad’s about to go pick up his mom and Jeff is coming over later too, so it will be a small festive gathering.

Fed Suzanne and John last night; I would have fed Zach more but I pulled out the Nutella. What a mess I made of the roast – I didn’t cook it nearly long enough and then of course overcooked it.

When we got off the ferry we were greeted by what appeared to be a huge pollen cloud; I am now itching and blinking constantly while my brain slowly swells. Everything is flowering here; there are daffs at the side of the road and cherries in bloom – blooming well everywhere.

To keep with the family theme, the picture is of my cousin Shauna (on the left) and my cousin Derry (on the right, and now sadly and too soon departed many years ago of cancer) in about 1973.

Keith is happily telling the grandparents what it’s like to work at Cobs Bakery. Paul pulled out the Jericho Beach flying boat book John bought for him for Dad to look at. All in all, a peaceful Sunday.

Nuff said
2006-03-03— Posted by: allegra

It is the weekend. It is payday. I am feeding Suzanne on Saturday and we’re visiting my folks on Sunday. Oh, sorry, mOm, I neglected to mention that in my phone call this ayem. Work fellates the galactic moose. Katie slept at Suzanne’s. John puddled last night. In reviewing the last sentence I must hasten to add that he neither ‘puddled’ like a Rudy Rucker character, nor ‘puddled’ in the sense of lost control of his sphincters, but went to the Pool to swim. Brooke puddled too, in the same sense of the word. Keith appears to have been taken on full time by the Cobs on Commercial Drive and is working a full shift today. He is on the counter, not in the bakery. They adjusted his shifts around his karate. Paul is singing J Geils “My Angel is a Centerfold” which should give you some idea of his mood. His class was cancelled and I got called into pick him up from work. Katie got 35 out of 45 on her Psych presentation. Keith enjoyed Karate last night but I think he enjoyed the three hours playing Whorecraft much more. Keith is admonishing me. He actually caught some live music at Myles of Beans last night. Quite the man about town, he’s becoming.

Course was cancelled
2006-03-03— Posted by: allegra

So Paul just worked an ordinary day today. I’ll go pick him up later this evening. I feel like steak tonight, and by Gar I think I’ll go get some. Steak and epsom salts, on my shopping list. Not to eat all at once of course.

Some cats like to watch
2006-03-02— Posted by: allegra

and some like the parallel bars. Some do pawstands. This is a cruelty free cat show – the cats are doing it as a result of his observation of their special talents and then developing it.

http://www.MOSCOWCATSTHEATRE.com/

Edumacation
2006-03-02— Posted by: allegra

Paul’s on the plane to Toronto to learn about a new inflight entertainment. I miss him already.

But what about small aircraft?
2006-03-02— Posted by: allegra

http://www.alternet.org/story/32903

Gosh. I guess if I don’t want to feel guilty about travelling any more I’d better not go anywhere in the future.

enough sleep
2006-03-01— Posted by: allegra

Bird flu in cats? Now I’m worried.

Hate it when that happens
2006-02-28— Posted by: allegra

As much as I like to believe that I am remarkable, my bladder is apparently not. Which is good news, really, when you think about it. Apart from a gentle stinging amidships, I am entirely fine. So, all these tests (CT skull scan, heart scan, CT abdo scan) over the last three years, and every one shows that there’s nothing wrong with me. Question… isn’t there a pill for that?

Whatever you do, DON’T imageGoogle cystoscopy. Yumpin Yiminy. I wanted to post something, but I am not thinking this is a good idea any more.

No pigs in ages
2006-02-28— Posted by: allegra

I haven’t posted a pig picture in ages. This comes from the Cleveland Police Department, and brought a smile to my nervous lips.

Wish me luck for the cystoscopy.

Flying Lions
2006-02-28— Posted by: allegra

Cousin Gerald sent me this. I think you actually have to know something about flying to understand how freaking hard this is to do for one guy, let alone four; suffice it to say that if somebody screws up, he’ll turn turtle and possibly wipe out somebody else. Trust is a lovely thing. Website is http://www.flyinglions.co.za/.

Gravity shifted?
2006-02-27— Posted by: allegra

Gwyneth Jones’ book Life is wonderful, read it.

Octavia Butler died at home over the Potlatch weekend. RIP.

Here’s another pic from the ice storm in Ottawa.

as promised
2006-02-26— Posted by: allegra

enough sleep
2006-02-26— Posted by: allegra

Attended a scotch tasting in Jack B’s room last night; the place was like an English bus by the time we were done, and we worked our way through the Highlands, the Lowlands, the Islays and at least one from the Shetlands.

I dropped out after two because I was driving. Talisker is my fave currently; the comments about the Laphroaig are still ringing in my ears. “So what DOES it taste like? Petroleum waste run through a bog? It really is quite remarkable!” but of course Alan said the 15 year old is much better.

Bob the cat, shown previously, was set upon by two huskies on Friday, but a trip to the vet emerg proved that he has a stretched or torn ligament and not too much else wrong. He’s now standing at the cat door wondering why the hell Alan won’t let him out. Short memory, bud! Big Dogs, Bite Your Shoulder? Does that ring a bell?

Shortly we will join Hank (he of the Best Explosion Story EVAH mentioned previously) and other good fen and true for a Dim Sum blowout downtown.

Then we will make one last cruise through the dealer room.

I got three whole questions in the trivia open house last night. INCLUDING being the first person to recognize the opening line of 20,000 Leagues under the Sea; am I not a good pretty bird!? Squawk.

Mum and pOp you would have enjoyed the auction; signed Leguins, a copy of a letter Heinlein wrote to Niven about the Mote in God’s Eye ms which resulted in a much better book; an typewritten outtake from Stars in my Pocket Like Grains of Sand; and CTHULHU SLIPPERS. I go finding pic and posting, my Old One, they were cute. Bill H. bid so much for them I couldn’t get them for you pOp.

Oh and somebody tell Keith that a famous science fiction writer yelled, when the complete works of Patrick O’Brien were at auction, “Don’t forget they contain the words, “JACK you have debauched my sloth!”” Stu S sighed and said, “I want that on a T-shirt.”

Evil Grin. He may get his wish.

Here in Seattle
2006-02-26— Posted by: allegra

It is still actually February 25th here, whatever it says on the site.

pointillistically….

Wonderful Greek meal, wonderful local beers, fabulous company here at Potlatch, which is a literary sf convention. There’s a guy here, Art, who was at the first SF Worldcon! Published authors I have read are knitting in the audience! Why aren’t my parents here?

Sign outside Seattle Center….THE DAY OF THE ACCORDION….Free.

Well, it would have to be now wouldn’t it?

Keith had to work in a costume today. He enjoyed it.

I bought another Freddie Baer shirt and two B5 tees for the kids. My free wireless from the consuite is about to vanish, so by for now.

went home early
2006-02-24— Posted by: allegra

Left work at 2:45 yesterday feeling like re-animated scrap. Crashed. Got up and ate dinner. Re-crashed. I think Paul gets to drive to Seattle tonight….

My eyes hurt.

enough sleep
2006-02-23— Posted by: allegra

Went to bed early again in the hopes that I will reduce my current symptoms, which include homicidal rage, thrumps, and hollow heels. Got up and made my lunch, prepped veggies for writer’s group tonight (Sigh, I’ll be missing Darcy Michael at the Sylvia, pang, oh pang), policed up the laundry room and tidied the kitchen after Katie’s excellent dish washing last night. I love Keith, but he washes dishes as if he’s secretly hoping we’ll never ask him again. Greasy rinse water, pah. Katie washes dishes like she’s actually planning on consuming food served on them. More my style, thanks.

If I talk about work, the homicidal rage will be more than adequately explained, but since I work for a public company, my blog must needs reflect the positive side of my work life. After all, the share prices are doing reasonably well. I will say this. They have decided not to take live questions at the town hall meetings. So I think my digestion will not permit me to attend the next one. There, I feel better already!

Wups! Almost but not quite burned the oatmeal… it will be just eating temp when Paul finishes his yoga. I got about halfway through “All the Con Men I Have Known”, last night; I’m thinking that somewhere in there I am missing the beat somewhat, but at least I’ve got the notes correct; what a bitch of a song to transcribe! I have no idea what the hell key it’s in so I’m putting it perforce in C, but there are SO many sharps, flats and naturals it looks like somebody emptied a jar full of jazz chords onto the page. It is among the more interesting of my tunes melodically (and it’s the one for which foolks always glaze over and say “Oh, that sounds like Joni Mitchell” as if that would somehow make me feel any better about either their intelligence or their taste – not that I consider myself worthy to kiss the sole of Ms Mitchell’s dazzlingly accoutred boot).

Well, I’d better get my sorry PMSing ass out of this chair and get back to my chores; now it’s time to write something for writers. I have a cunning plan. Mom, the package arrived. Happy sigh. I now have a bag made of that stunning space girls material I showed in an earlier post.

All Quiet in East Burnaby
2006-02-23— Posted by: allegra

wtf? It’s the dreaded space potato!!!!
2006-02-22— Posted by: allegra

AKA Telesto, a moon of Saturn’s.

No dreams
2006-02-22— Posted by: allegra

I suppose you are all very relieved that my dreams were not quite as exciting as those of last night.

I went to bed at 8:40 last night; I think I’m fighting something again.

I’m reading Connie Willis’ Doomsday Book and quite enjoying it.

So what MAKES it deathless prose?
2006-02-22— Posted by: allegra

Uh, my opinion, and not much else.

This is culled from the middle of a newspaper article about a shooting – kind of interesting, a witness shot the suspect…. at least five bullets and five entrance wounds…. four times in the head, which, even thought it’s completely disgusting, ya kinda hafta admire. Here’s the context, for as long as it lasts.

http://www.2theadvocate.com/news/2343136.html

Something else occurs; the way, even though it’s in the middle of the story, you know exactly who the cop and who the ””perp”” is. The way you can picture, as if it was a slice of tv news, the expensive car cutting in, the irritation of the off duty cop, the confrontation in the parking lot which is in itself a shrine to the automobile (AutoZone), the advent of the “I actually do have a permit for this thing” concealed firearms badass. It all makes such mythic SENSE that you are weak-kneed before it.

It’s also as disgusting as a git’s spit-oot. Bleaugh. I won’t bring it up again. Gotta do something about this major case of schadenfreude. Oh, hoff an umlaut, it’s on me.

What I call deathless prose
2006-02-22— Posted by: allegra

How the fight between Harrison and Temple began is still unclear to investigators. What they do know is that Harrison was off-duty and working as a motorcycle escort for a funeral procession going west on Greenwell Springs Road when a black S550 Mercedes driven by Temple cut into the procession, Phares said. Harrison pulled Temple into the AutoZone parking lot and wrote him a ticket for a traffic violation. That�s when an argument began. What the two argued about is still unknown because Harrison has yet to be interviewed, Phares said.

Last night I had a really weird dream
2006-02-21— Posted by: allegra

I was an extra in a movie based on a previously undiscovered manuscript by William Faulkner and it started in a 1930’s drivethrough hardware store staffed by a cast-of-a-thousand darkies in Depressionwear and ended up with Johnny Depp – complete with pencil thin mustache and elegant suit – taking refuge there as some kind of confidence man on the lam; this all being perfectly acceptable until Johnny and his leading lady, a very short and portly girl with a pretty voice, who alas was not me, burst into song while travelling down a dusty road. Collect your jaws, it gets one bit weirder. They got on a train that appeared to be full of odd looking people but the closer you got to them the more you realized they weren’t ugly people with skin conditions, they were alien musical aficionados – several species; the cap of the musical numbers was an all singing, all dancing, mostly alien recreation of the major Southern Gothic themes, while Johnny sang sort of Greek Chorus style in a glorious, badly dubbed tenor. It was very enjoyable and I was irritated to be woken by my alarm. How was YOUR night in the coils of Morpheus?? It can’t POSsibly have been more entertaining. Oh, I have to mention one really amazing part of it – totally CGI but nicely done. You’re standing next to the railway track and all of a sudden you’re picked up and moving backwards and you’re still moving backwards at a good clip and you start closing in with the conductor and the closer you get the more you realize he’s an enormous insectoid thing with big ol’ googly eyes and antennae flowing out from under his tidy cap, flapping in the breeze, but you aren’t scared because he’s…. singing. A happy song in a beautiful baritone voice about how much he loves being a musical performer on a train. Happy Sigh.

RIP Hunter S Thompson
2006-02-21— Posted by: allegra

Anita Thompson released this picture recently. He still had some sparkle.

It pays to advertise
2006-02-21— Posted by: allegra

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/4733522.stm

If you shoot a lawyer, that makes you more popular
2006-02-21— Posted by: allegra

I love the results of this poll. You know how they’re always saying Plus Or Minus 4 percent, Nineteen times out of Twenty? Here’s the fucking proof that you can’t take too much too seriously.

Edmonton airport – February 5, 2006
2006-02-21— Posted by: allegra

Notice anything slightly unusual about this picture???

Nice ice
2006-02-20— Posted by: allegra

Leo said it was like walking on cornflakes, and his youngest son told him that the windshield on his vehicle cracked as he was removing ice from it.

I light a candle for the dead in that pileup on the 417 near Embrun, and I light a row of candles for the dead in the landslide in the Philippines.

May the persons responsible for the illegal logging above that little village find themselves in a nice ‘n’ toasty corner of hell.

Pic is of Leo and Linda’s backyard. Brother James, I am sure this is much what you have been looking at.

Happy news about bird flu!
2006-02-20— Posted by: allegra

http://news.independent.co.uk/world/asia/article346511.ece

Now we can all worry about something else, like this:

http://www.rsmas.miami.edu/pressreleases/20060217-langdon.html

enough sleep
2006-02-20— Posted by: allegra

After the insanity of the wait on the trip down, the border crossing on the way back was pretty funny. “Where do you live?” “Burnaby.” “What did you buy?” “Nuttin’.” (I literally said this.) “Off you go.” I’m driving away saying under my breath Holy Virgin! we coulda had a gallon o smack in the car….

Took a walk in the Arboretum yesterday as Alan predicted Green Lake would be nutsoid – it’s a urban park with inadequate parking spaces. Then I had a massage. Then we ate at Alan and Janice’s favourite diner, and I drove home. I called their place to let them know we had arrived in one piece and Alan owned as how I had made impressive time. Yeah, and you can too if you completely ignore those pesky speed limit signs.

God got me good, though – my dreams were full of cops pulling me over for DUI and not wearing a seatbelt. I didn’t have a drop of alcohol all weekend! (Unusual for me in the extreme).

As for the Mucinex Janice provided, it took 22 hours for the effects to wear off, so I’m glad I didn’t take two….

Seattle Siege!
2006-02-19— Posted by: allegra

Went to Dan and Carol’s place in Seattle for the Spit; they have a little jewel of a house, which is full of hardwood flooring and maintains the 1920’s charm of the original, including the wibbly windows. The food was UNBELIEVABLY good, even for a Spit; it’s criminal what happens when you get a bunch of middle aged women into the same room for a Spit, and the hostess is a gourmet cook. It was among the best lasagne I’ve ever eaten. I was driving, so I avoided the lavish irrigation supplied by host Dan, but Paul did not stint.

Mum, I met a gal named Sherrie, who provided me with her Christmas newsletter. Within three pages I had laughed so hard so many times I was hurting, it is wonderful; I must share it with you.

Then we went back to Alan and Janice’s to ditch our bags and drove out to SeaTac to collect them from the plane, which was, of course, an hour late. We had a number of adventures on the way which included almost running out of gas (Paul insisted on driving Janice’s car and the gas gauge hiccupped downwards a quarter tank after we’d been in it for about 5 minutes….) and having to divert from the I5 due to an accident – and having to stop on the 509 because the drawbridge was up. We still got there in plenty of time….

I know I’m starting to sound obsessed about this, but Americans are A LOT MORE THOUGHTFUL about restroom facilities than Canadians are. In the Cell Phone lot at SeaTac – a place where you can sit for free, excuse me, until your pickup calls you, having arrived – there’s a Portapotty.

This morning we had a leisurely breakfast of oranges, coffee, biscotti (MY biscotti, which had been forlornly sitting on the patio where the US Postal guy had left them! and they’re still yummy) oatmeal and bagels. Now we get into our walking clothes and go to the Arboretum, and then I’m having a massage, tra la la, and then we’re going to try to head back and avoid the GODAWFUL wait at the border, which was insane making yesterday; we were at the truck crossing for an hour and a half. It’s never as bad coming back north, but I’m still not expecting a picnic. Weather is glorious here.

Janice has introduced me to the glories of Mucinex. This weird blue and white tablet blows out your sinuses for a good eight hours – sleep would have been impossible without it. Apparently it’s bloody expensive but I may hit a Walgreen’s on the way out of town anyway.

Dan works at Boeing – being the only two men at the Spit, you can imagine their guilty pleasure at having to hang around another middle aged guy in the airplane business. According to Paul, they swapped stories of “what happens when you try to integrate two businesses” – In Dan’s case Boeing and Douglas, and in Paul’s Air Canada and Canadian. That kept them out of the very loud living room for most of the duration, and probably maintained their sanity. LOVED the house, and the fact they had art from Nova Scotia all over the walls was, for me, a very nice touch. (I was born in Nova Scotia, but don’t hold that against me.)

Off to the arboretum for walkies!!!

must….blog….
2006-02-18— Posted by: allegra

Keith is re-watching some of the dance sequences from Band Wagon; Katie is swithering around the living room and grousing at Keith not to mess up all the DVD’s she laboriously cleaned up yesterday; Paul is putting the finishing touches on his toilette; and I’m blogging as fast as I can type because I have to jump in the car and drive to Seattle in about three seconds. I’ll report in detail on the Spit tomorrow morning. Be good while I’m gone, ever’body!

??
2006-02-17— Posted by: allegra

My site was scunnered there for a while but it appears to be all good now. Of course by the time my infamous webmeister looked at it, it had healed itself, leading to a round of questions like, Are you Crazy or do you just act like you are so that everybody will Think You Are?

Off to Seattle tomorrow for a Spit, tra la la, followed by lazing about at Alan and Janice’s. Much much happiness.

More Moose!!!
2006-02-17— Posted by: allegra

36 hours pain free!!!!
2006-02-16— Posted by: allegra

Yup, micturation is now accomplished with a minimum of fuss. I trained hard (Do Those Kegels, Grrls!) and now I can definitely state that I am feeling much better. Now, all I have to do is lose about 40 pounds and get some exercise and quit eating sugar and butter, and I’ll be the healthiest woman alive.

The picture shown below illustrates the comical consequences of being a male person with a new digital camera. Kane Quinnell, who is not responsible for having a name like a Harlequin Romance Hero, decided to take pictures of a lightning storm in the unlikely location of Old Toongabbie. (New Toongabbie not available for comment). He swears the storm wasn’t very close…. he left the shutter open for 4 seconds and snapped away a number of times, suddenly capturing this beaut as it struck the neighbours’ house some 20 meters away. He ran inside and emailed his amazing picture to all of his friends, who oddly enough forwarded it to the Australian Bureau of Meteorology. Kane is lucky he’s not a burnt out grease spot, and now we can all look at this picture, so I guess we’re lucky all round.

Reuters is reporting on how to bury bodies in the back yard subsequent to the pandemic. Me, I’m stocking up on really really tough garbage bags – body bags are expensive, dude.

I hope everybody reading this is sensible enough to stock up on rubber gloves and masks. You can also make your own masks… out of cotton or linen.

Given how many countries the flu is in now, you have to wonder how many more months we have before it jumps to people. I read one very unsettling report from Vietnam indicating that young children have probably been dying of flu for some months but the symptom list shifted somewhat and the doctors aren’t catching it until autopsy. In this case the kids weren’t coughing that much; they spiked massive fevers, convulsed a couple of times, went coma and died, usually within two days of initial onset of symptoms.

Love each other while you can.

Waiting a long time for a bus in Moscow
2006-02-15— Posted by: allegra

Credit Nicholas Danilov, Mosnews.

Valentines day pile up
2006-02-15— Posted by: allegra

Okay, lessee. Because I am a nimnul, missed Peggy’s birthday celebration yesterday, but since I actually was able to herd all of my peeps into one room for a Valentine’s Evening Dinner – Keith and Kate were there! – it wasn’t so bad. I asked Paul if it would be okay to just buy what I felt like eating, so I made garlic bread, bought brie, made cocktail prawns (steamed, not boiled), made salad and microwaved some spinach, and grilled two extremely large steaks. Katie’s in wonderful shape, we laughed ourselves silly.

My seeds from Richters came, and wouldn’t you freaking well know it…. no sweetgrass – no linen flax, and no somethingerotherelse, can’t remember what.

Valentines Day cards for the coworkers went over well, again. This year I bought Fantastic 4, Cookie Monster and Pooh valentines cards; some people are really Tigger fanatics so I ensured they got those cards.

I saw the news about Cheney’s hunting accident and really wanted to post, but something told me to hang back. I’m glad I did. The most interesting consequence of the debacle was watching the leftosphere toss a highly appropriate muzzle on when the victim went back into ICU. The rightosphere will no doubt bemoan the bad taste of the leftosphere in making fun of a serious situation, as a result, but ainsi soit-il. I really wish Cheney would strap his conscience on and publicly apologize. You know it’s not likely to happen. Sigh.

My sundry symptoms are backing off, slowly, as in I’m in a lot less pain almost all of the time – but they’re being replaced by the Saddam’s mother of all colds. Paul’s been a snot factory for the last week – share and share alike, I guess.

I read an interesting item in the blogosphere recently about what to do if you blog and are being stalked. Same as if you’re not blogging and are being stalked. Get some likely lads together with ‘pool cues and table legs’ and administer percussive scalp therapy. That was easy, warn’t it?

Hope you all had a lovely day, and that you didn’t get hosed too bad on the roses.

Really weird dream
2006-02-14— Posted by: allegra

Last night I dreamed that one of my coworkers said, “If you don’t stop sexually harassing people at work I’m reporting you to HR.” This was after fondling him in a fashion that can only be described as non violent sexual assault.

Sigh, and just in time for Valentine’s Day.

Came up with three new bits; the Hyack Festival, Men’s underwear, and That Guy in Marketing, as well as a transitional bit about my probation officer and the perils of walking through your neighbourhood.

I didn’t drink enough water yesterday and I’m really really feeling it today, if you know what I mean.

Time to distribute Valentine’s cards.

FIREFLY BARBIES!!!!
2006-02-13— Posted by: allegra

Jumping Jimmy Christmas….??!!! Is there anything Browncoats won’t do???

Stolen from Darcy Michael’s website
2006-02-13— Posted by: allegra

And why the hell not. Mike asked me “Who was that guy” in response to the Laff Riot Girls show closer… and his website is at http://www.darcymichael.com/. He’s playing the Urban well on February 21st and I’m going, he made me laugh my ass off. He made a room full of drunks yell “Jihad!”

productive day
2006-02-13— Posted by: allegra

Cleo from across the way gave me chives and irises. I planted the irises but I’m still trying to think where to put the chives. They may end up where I stuck them.

Got ALL my laundry done, helped get the furniture back into the dungeon, did all the laundry that came out of the dungeon (sheets were covered in sawdust and construction gunge), did the dishes when Katie skated off to hang with Dax (grr), made a variant of Chicken Chow-le which got devoured happily by all attendees, weeded the front bed, dumped down some more dirt in same bed, worked some more on songs (this time, the Cairn), noodled around on the internet, worked some more on my comedy routine, found out where all the open mics are in the lower mainland, answered Laurel’s letter and otherwise had a very productive and yet restful day.

My medical condition is responding very well to a beer and water diet. Which reminds me, I should go drink something.

Pic is of Katie, what seems like a hundred years ago, at (I believe) Calgary airport. Paul took the picture.

All funds Canadian dollars
2006-02-13— Posted by: allegra

From the 1979 Radio Shack Catalog.

Jarmo skiing
2006-02-13— Posted by: allegra

Found this on a little used section of the drive. Trent (I believe) took the picture. Jarmo looks naked – but he isn’t. Then Jarmo photoshopped in the earth, and you have a lovely image.

Comedy night
2006-02-12— Posted by: allegra

I came either fifth or sixth, depending on how you calculate these things. Considering that I never consulted my crib sheet and got consistent laughs, I am having trouble identifying what it was that pushed me out of the running, but I will no doubt learn it from the notes provided by the judges (a nice touch). Let us say that I preferred the plaudits of the crowd to the deliberations of the tribunal….

Went to a gelato place on the Drive afterwards to salve my chapped ass (okay, I was applying the salve to the wrong location, or was applying it on the American Plan) and had the strawberry pineapple gelato. It was so good it brought tears to my eyes, and I wish I was exaggerating.

I’m looking forward to my next trek to Seattle. There will be a Open HouseSpit (meeting of the Dunnett fan club) on Saturday, and then Paul and I will pick Janice and Alan up from the airport (they will be arriving back that evening) and then, o then, a lovely day of knocking around Seattle and hanging with the folks, who should be all tanned and rested after a week in Ft Lauderdale or environs.

Off to Zesty
2006-02-12— Posted by: allegra

So I’ll be gigging – it’s part of a standup comedy contest – at Zesty Restaurant tonight. I have no clue when I’ll be going on. I am so nervous I feel jelly-like, but I imagine some of Vancouver’s finest beer will put me in a less frantic mood. Pic is of the venue.

With respect to David Emerson
2006-02-11— Posted by: allegra

May I quote Allen Steele….. “Promises are like turds. You have to make them. You don’t have to keep them.”

Cousin Gerald sent me this
2006-02-11— Posted by: allegra

http://www.thebanmappingproject.com/

With the comment ” I believe ‘cool’ would be appropriate to describe this endeavour.”

Indeed.

Squids having sex
2006-02-10— Posted by: allegra

A miracle
2006-02-10— Posted by: allegra

For a small raise in her allowance, Katie has agreed to do all the dishes going forward. This is bloody amazing. I prepaid her two weeks of allowance I was so happy.

Writers Group last night rocked, as always. We write such a large variation of stuff, it’s inspirational. I read My Muse was a Zombie. And brought veggies, in fine UU tradition. We’re getting our own website!

Keith is working later today.

Paul took 100 wheelbarrows of dirt from the construction site yesterday – and yes, he did ask the site supervisor. Okay, I exaggerate.

I have not touched any of my songs! When will I ever get near the computer again?

enough sleep
2006-02-09— Posted by: allegra

Allegra very tired but reasonably okay.

Keith is going to apply to some other Cobb’s locations; Katie is at school and taking Drama and Psychology (talk about yer slack term, I said, to which her response was – uh, no, Psychology is really hard).

Katie cut her own hair. You win some, you lose some.

enough sleep
2006-02-08— Posted by: allegra

Yah! Watched Band Wagon (Astaire, Charisse, Levant, Fabray, Buchanan, and all directed by Vincente Minelli…) last night with John and the kids. It’s a bizarre movie in a lot of ways – we found ourselves laughing a lot when the script is not trying to be funny…. as, f’rinstance, when there’s a big strip of neon proclaiming The GAYEST MAGIC BOX – which should resonate on a number of levels with SOME of my readers. Astaire looks weirder every time I look at him. Worked some more on the Tapioca Song. MAN it’s HARD. The rests are driving me batty.

enough sleep
2006-02-07— Posted by: allegra

Everybody is sleeping peacefully, including Paul. I wish I didn’t have to go to work today. I’d rather be screamed at by a chain of rabid customers than review process documentation all bloody day. Yes, I know it’s for the good of the party.

enough sleep
2006-02-06— Posted by: allegra

http://www.uclick.com/client/wpc/tt/2006/01/29/index.html

This cartoon was so offensive that the Joint Chiefs of Staff fired off a disgusted letter to the Washington Post.

Considering that the US is fighting a ‘technically’ illegal war… (like legality would make it right anyhow) I thought the Joint Chiefs got off quite light, don’t you?

Touched by his noodly appendage part II
2006-02-06— Posted by: allegra

http://www.screenhead.com/funny/FSM1.jpg

It isn’t safe for work, if that is what you were wondering, unless you work at the BCMP. This is sort of the the CUTE, SQUIGGLY version of a lovecraftian being.

one thing and another
2006-02-06— Posted by: allegra

1. One of my packages came, but due to the incompetence of the Canadian Postal System, I was unable to pick it up the next day, as stated in the tag they left. The fact there was somebody home all day Friday added to my biliousness. Why the farce didn’t they deliver it? Morans.

2. The trek to wellness included a walk along the Fraser foreshore yesterday; Paul thoughtfully picked a walk that included an open, clean and convenient washroom, without which the walk would have been impossible. Katie would have enjoyed seeing more dogs but it was otherwise a very nice walk. There was debris from the storm surge all over the park. I am actually feeling better today.

3. I am continuing to come up with new material for the gig with no apparent effort, which is pleasant. I am in the throes stages of arranging the order for all the bits.

4. Katie continues to be one of the ongoing joys of my life. She has said a couple of things lately that are so poignant, or so funny, that I’ve been dumbstruck – always a good thing, you will no doubt point out. Recently she said, on the subject of God, “The only thing that makes any sense to me is that God created us, got scared and ran away.” This was on Friday night… I don’t know if it’s original to her but it sure made me laugh.

Back to the grind now, thank heaven I have the car.

another fake trailer
2006-02-05— Posted by: allegra

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfODSPIYwpQ

If the link doesn’t work search for Brokeback to the Future and be prepared to snicker.

Friday night Mike showed me a fake trailer for the Shining, which remakes it as a feelgood family movie. That was funny and creepy. OOOOh. Which reminds me. He left weenie goodness here, which I must photograph and post. You will understand when you see it.

notes to the foregoing
2006-02-03— Posted by: allegra

The opening reference is to a Night Stalker episode. I wrote this poem between 10 and 15 years ago; I find it entertaining how some of the images and choices of words now resonate with commercial media like, well, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The “edge in my voice” is definitely an Ellison reference – the book with that as part of the title was published in 1985 and I think I had just finished reading it when I wrote the poem. I was angry with a friend for trying to get on the gravy train of arts council grants (it would have meant that she had to complete reorganize her creative life to lay hands on some government money and now, of course, there’s no money for that kinda stuff); I was in love with someone who didn’t love me back; there were a lot of street people that I had to navigate through as I did the company banking every day and I had to pass a lot of boarded up businesses.

Since I was doing this zombie like trek up and down Queen Street every day and always getting strange looks from people, this poem resulted. And I just had to write a poem with the word sistrum in it, I have no idea why.

Sundry and various
2006-02-03— Posted by: allegra

Paul’s doing his yoga, his bowl of cereal is gently cooking away in the nuker, and I am taking advantage of the glories of socialized medicine with yet another prescription for antibiotics. This one is specifically for UTI’s (lay explanation: It hurts to pee). So yes, I did see the doctor, and his explanation for my problem doesn’t require surgery but is hard to treat. Yummy yummy mucosa!!! Gee whiz, I can hardly wait for the cystoscopy NOW!

I came up with another great line for my comedy routine. Instead of being all panicky and freaked out I just have a vast feeling of calm about it; Zesty’s at 8 on Saturday the 11th, if anybody is interested. Either Paul is better or it was genuinely funny when I shared the new material with him this morning; he laughed and said the folks will love it.

I think it’s time we had another computer in the house, every time I try to get on Paul is on the computer. It’s ridiculous; two months ago he got on the computer about as often as I do dishes. Speaking of which, Katie has another week to do dishes in payment of her debt to me for buying her another month of tanning. It’s working though – her rash is greatly diminished, and it’s done wonderful things to her mood. I’m thinking of doing it myself. (Not really, but I just wanted to picture my mother’s jaw going CLARN into her lap.)

Katie apparently had only the one cigarette so I can go back to Condition Yellow rather than Condition Full Bore Freak Out with Optional Hysterics and Arm Waving.

That’s about all I can think of for now; signing off from beautiful East Burnaby, this is your Mid Stream correspondent signing off for now…..

Go with the Floe!
2006-02-03— Posted by: allegra

Enuff said. This pic is actually from 1997 and was um, borrowed most cruelly from a US army website. (Okay, WHAT was this moose doing on a US Army website? Ha! No one can resist the call of the moose.) But in my diligent search for the best of moosiness, I will take my chances with the eagle eyed military lawyers….

No job yet
2006-02-02— Posted by: allegra

Keith worked a full day yesterday but that was apparently “more testing” and he will know about the job FOR SURE Saturday. Apparently I was also dreaming in Cinemascoop about the floor in the kitchen….. do not pass go, do not find linoleum. Much nicer subflooring and a different configuration in the kitchen, but no lino.

Dax dropped by last night with his friend Justin. I have no idea why. Katie smoked a cigarette and I cried into my biscotti dough. (No, not really. That would be unsanitary.)

Watched most of Gentlemen Prefer Blondes last night, and I am not alone in vastly preferring Jane Russell. Oh, the clothes, the clothes!!! We were so grossed out by the ad for Bus(t) Stop that we didn’t watch it.

My boss’s band is playing the same weekend as Potlatch. Suckage! Major diameter suckkkkage!

Finished **** You Jack and mailed it to my mother, including emailing her the midi file so she knows what tune to hum as she’s playing the somewhat devil may care lyrics. Two songs down, 98 to go. Sigh.

I should finish the Tapioca song so Yam and Dr. Filk can go promulgate it. There is a prophet, and there are acolytes.

Try to guess what I did to this copyrighted picture of Richard Seamans’. It is a B2, and it was taken at an airshow, and then I ditzed with it.

My floor! My floor
2006-02-01— Posted by: allegra

The boys from Edenvale Restoration (and, folks, major props to them all) are in my house doing the last of the flood restoration. It only took 11 weeks from flood to fabulous, and we only got nailed for a $500 deductible. Happy sigh.

Now we have to rip that godawful upstairs carpet up. I really really want to do that, it’s just gross.

democracy under a veil
2006-02-01— Posted by: allegra

http://htdaw.blogsource.com/post.mhtml?post_id=198659

Those reading this fore-noted non highlighted link who maintain the impression that the US is still a democracy have my sympathy, but I won’t have much trust in their judgment.

No moose picture?
2006-02-01— Posted by: allegra

I heard about a moose surfing on an ice floe, but there was NO PICTURE. WWAAAAHH.

yeeeehaw
2006-01-31— Posted by: allegra

Keith got called back – apparently they told him he showed more talent (he made cinnamon buns) in the talent demonstration than any of the other candidates, so now my son is actually going to be working on getting a trade, woo hoo!!!! My son the baker. Okay, he hasn’t actually done his first day of work, and he hasn’t called me to tell me (I learned second hand from Katie) but still woooo hooo!!!!

enough sleep
2006-01-31— Posted by: allegra

There’s been a lot of unhappiness in the press about the ‘tipping point’ in global climate change, that there has been an abrupt jump in the C02 levels, and that we’re now in the doom and gloom scenario. Well, I’ve done doom and gloom. Now I just figure that the Correction is going to happen, and that sensible people will be ready to move to where they can grow food, wherever that turns out to be. People will continue having babies and getting in fights and starving and making music no matter how weird things get, and if we go extinct as a species, somewhere out there is a species that will actually get it right. So the odds, and science fiction, teach me. I’m gonna go extinct no matter what the fuck I do, and really, my job as an adult is to get used to that notion without letting it slow me down or depress me too much. And, since these days I’m getting enough sleep, that’s a lot easier. Paul is the absolute nicest nap partner in the universe with the possible exception of Keith when he was little (Katie was a little vigorous to be much fun – many’s the time she woke me up with a well placed fist to the face).

I figured out what’s wrong with me – at least I have an idea – and the cystoscopy at the end of February will prove or disprove my theory. It would explain everything and requires surgical repair, yuck and likewise gross, but what the hell, we and our works are a debt owed to nature, as a French philosophe once remarked. In the meantime, I’m managing, and I’m even managing not to be crabby, which is going some.

Baloney
2006-01-31— Posted by: allegra

Carl Sagan invented a baloney kit. I am excerpting at length with comments….

The following are suggested as tools for testing arguments and detecting fallacious or fraudulent arguments:

* Wherever possible there must be independent confirmation of the facts

This means, children, that you actually have to ask somebody else to do the fact checking, and then have the civility to thank them for it.

* Encourage substantive debate on the evidence by knowledgeable proponents of all points of view.

Again, it is astonishing how this is suPPosed to happen in science, and never happens in BUSiness, which is suPPosed to be scientific…. right.

* Arguments from authority carry little weight (in science there are no “authorities”).

Now is the point where we’re all supposed to bust out laughin’, and never do.

* Spin more than one hypothesis – don’t simply run with the first idea that caught your fancy.

Guilty, Guilty, Guilty as charged. My besetting sin; my folly, my days of remorse. I don’t do this nearly enough.

* Try not to get overly attached to a hypothesis just because it’s yours.

Big owie. Ow Ow Ow.

* Quantify, wherever possible.

…. and considerin’, gawdawmighty, I cain’t count to but three, and even then I get confounded of a time…..

* If there is a chain of argument every link in the chain must work.

Aw, who can keep her mind on anything that steady? That’s just foolishness.

* “Occam’s razor” – if there are two hypothesis that explain the data equally well choose the simpler.

You may be dead, you manic sod of a self-publicist, but I’ll have to wrassle you over that one. Nothing in my whole fucking life would lead me to believe that’s true.

I’m just going to skip the next question, I don’t even want to deal with it. Additional issues are

* Conduct control experiments – especially “double blind” experiments where the person taking measurements is not aware of the test and control subjects.

The drug companies don’t like that part.

* Check for confounding factors – separate the variables.

There’s that confounded word again. Wonder what it means?

Common fallacies of logic and rhetoric

Lot got snipped here.

* Observational selection (counting the hits and forgetting the misses).

My mom is always beating me over the head and shoulders about that one. Oh, how she loathes sloppy thinking. Gets her right riled up and feisty, it does.

* Confusion of correlation and causation.

Allegra thinks “They go together, so one must be caused by.” Crap, pigeons could nest in my skull if the holes were any bigger.

enough sleep
2006-01-30— Posted by: allegra

Beautiful singing and playing at Tom and Peggy’s last night, after a stupendous pork roast meal. Happy sigh.

Moose dressage
2006-01-29— Posted by: allegra

It’s been ages since I posted a decent moose picture, so here one is.

We are having a quiet morning at home, Keith and Kate and I, and Paul has gone off to work. My day includes long tedious lists of life maintenance.

My health is much better; it’s not hurting anymore. I’m back to taking vitamins; I was on a long vitamin holiday but it seems like the only thing keeping the nastiness at bay is vitamins, including honking amounts of vitamin C. That plus exercises and ENOUGH SLEEP seems to be turning the tide. I read on Eurekalert.org that losing weight would help my ‘problem’. Okay, I’m convinced!

At some point early this afternoon Mike will turn up to grab Keith to help with the last of the hot tub move. Mike sent me an email a couple of days ago that made me laugh so hard I was stumped to think of when I last laughed harder; unfortunately, it is so cheerfully scatalogical and personal that I am not in a position to share it, or even turn it into stand up material.

Work on the comedy routine is proceeding very well. I am trying really hard to write all new material, and it’s working out so far. I just thought of a great tactic for Stephen Harper; tell the Yanks that they have to pay up for the softwood lumber up until Dec 31 2005 and THEN we’ll help them with their space wars. We’ll never collect, and we’ll never have to help them, and it will keep his constituency quiet, and make him look as tough as a frozen banana. How’s that for political astutitoodiness?

Keith is now level 21 in Warcrack. I mean, World of Warcraft. Or, just WoW.

Did I mention Katie dyed her hair black again?

Well, I guess it’s time to start shovelling out the bedroom and unpacking from my San Francisco trip. Sometimes things take a while. At least the living room is reasonably tidy – it’s great having people over once in a while.

I am really enjoying the new floors downstairs. It’s really wonderful to have things just be… clean. And fit to be kept that way.

Pleased and astonished
2006-01-29— Posted by: allegra

To my amazement, the phone cutover worked entirely slick. I could have been happier about my work load trebling (at least the number of phone calls sure as hell went up) but now if I have a particularly noxious or idiotic caller I can record the entire conversation.

Evil evil evil thoughts ensue.

Did a grocery shop. Didn’t get to the doctor. I’m actually feeling better and I’m pushing lots and lots of fluids, so it’s all good.

In brief
2006-01-27— Posted by: allegra

1. Keith’s interview went well; he’s back today for further tests.

2. New phone system at work today. I will provide a report later as to how many beers I have to drink to recover from same.

3. Chalice circle was held at my house last night; the topic was Ecological Spirituality, ably led by Rev Katie Stein Sather. New person was present! Nice guy named Dave who’s only been to church twice, which is more than me in the last six months, except to preach, of course.

4. Paul is home from Seattle. I can’t say how much I missed him. He is pleased by the flooring progress, as am I.

5. I am breaking down and seeing a doctor tonight, I’m simply in too much pain to function properly, but I’m not being crabby because it doesn’t help.

6. I purchased Carol’s pastel of the Ganymede Muskox, and stuck it in John’s bedroom just to mess with his head.

7. My cousin Vladimir sent me a pile of Russian music this week and it came all the way from Bratsk Siberia. It is MOLTO COOL! I am trying to recover from hearing a discopop version of Kalinka, but such is life.

8. Katie liked ALL the clothes I bought her in San Francisco and has worn them all to school.

9. I dreamed I necked with two of my male coworkers last night. One of them was a lot more fun than the other. (The first I’d file under “Creepy but fun”.) I walked up to coworker Number 2, who was lying on the grass in a park in San Francisco, and said, “I want to do 2 hours of bodywork on you and then **** your brains out” to which his response was a pleasant nod and “Sounds good to me”. Considering I NEVER dream about sex, or even necking, two coworkers in one night is just plain excessive, at best. The story gets better from here (no skin, just hilarity) but to preserve the dignity and privacy of my coworkers I’ll shut up now.

Keith has a job interview today
2006-01-26— Posted by: allegra

We are cautiously optimistic. It’s at a) a place he wants to work b) doing something that approaches right livelihood c) close by d) run by nice people e) doing something he’s actually done before, although on a much smaller scale. Hopefully both his charm and his work ethic will do the trick.

feeling somewhat better
2006-01-25— Posted by: allegra

The flooring guys are coming today, this time to do the laundry room and the spare downstairs bedroom. Paul is in Seattle. He was pleasantly surprised that there was one piece of house renovation that he didn’t have to be here to supervise. Considering how much effort he’s put in since the middle of November with coordinating and chasing down contractors, he has a right to get some time away from the gaping maw of the house.

Mike was over last night; I fed him and the kids sushi and then he helped me move all the crap out of the spare room into the front room. Goddess bless my amazing friends. I am still battling a variety of ailments but I have made the decision that I’m not going to be crabby. Chronic pain is a large chunk of getting older (and don’t give me this you can be old and healthy crap, no elderly person has tried to sell me on that line) and so you might as well haul out the ibuprofen and suck it up.

Crap, 8 am already – gotta run. Wonder when my package from Lehman’s will arrive.

Harper wins a minority government
2006-01-24— Posted by: allegra

Harper’s win had me on the kitchen floor in fetal position, clutching the last unopened beer and saying to myself, “Some good has to come of this, some good has to come of this.” And after I had cudgelled my alcohol raddled brains for a while, an evil thought percolated through the haze; for the next two years, or until this government falls, Quebeckers will be spitting out their coffee every morning to the rhythmic grunting of Harper’s sodomy of their language. The revenge of the West, indeed!

As for Harper, I must say I envy him. To get boobs that perky, I’d have to pay for them.

I think the picture I posted of Gilles Duceppe and Stephen Harper, back last summer, was somewhat prescient, don’t you?

Back from San Francisco
2006-01-23— Posted by: allegra

I really didn’t want to come home. I felt like, not just a tourist, but a hayseed with dung between my toes. And this orange ball yclept the sun was actually OUT and SHINING while I was there (not at night, of course). Not shown at any time:

The pot au chocolat with creme chantilly I had at Absinthe on Saturday night (ps, mOm, you would have DIED, although DAMN it was noisy in there);

ANY pictures of cable cars, that’s been done;

A picture of the hotel or the room, like who the hell cares;

A picture of City Lights Bookstore, founded by Lawrence Ferlinghetti in 1953 and one of the last bastions of the independent book east of Rivendell and west of the sea – yes, I spent money there, and why not, it was blocks from the hotel;

The woman who blocked the tramcar with her BMW sport ute, while wearing something that I can only describe as the first prize costume in perpetuity for all Pimp’n’Ho Dances, wheresoever located;

Hunan Home’s (that’s what the sign says) where I ate a splendid Hunan style meal right in San Francisco’s amazing Chinatown;

the store where I bought gifts for Katie, except she didn’t come home, the little weiner, so I stuck all the gifts in the garage;

Fisherman’s Whart, typo deliberate – what a freaking zoo – but I went down there because my uncle Gar said I should, and I agree, but I blew my feet out and had to head back;

the Joe 8 in San Bruno where I ate a late breakfast on Saturday (portion size = twice what you’d get in a Canadian restaurant.)

Do we do anything better here than there? Why yes! Skytrain is MUCH QUIETER than BART. There were times when I wanted to lie on the floor convulsing with my hands to my ears.

So I’m probably going back in February with Keith. Stay tuned.

This one’s for Mike
2006-01-23— Posted by: allegra

The first picture I took
2006-01-23— Posted by: allegra

Cropped, of course. Note how, whatever the heck got tossed at it has turned, through the magic of oxidation, into a San Francisco palm tree. This was about three blocks from the hotel.

bizarre
2006-01-23— Posted by: allegra

http://www.99express.com/posts/ferrofluid_sculptures.htmM

Scroll down until you get to the video, then download and play it. It’s so weird, and SO beautiful.

sitting at YVR
2006-01-21— Posted by: allegra

I’m in the departure lounge at gate 73 at Vancouver Airport. The weather in San Francisco bit bags earlier today, and now the consequences of having to shut two runways at this busy airport are rippling through the system. Once again I had meshuggas with Customs; my legal name and the name I use – the one on my blog, fer cry eye – which Paul registered me under for the flight – are 2 different surnames. Only the fact that my first name is so unusual and I had the presence of mind to bring my work photo ID with me got me past the check in. That plus Mr. Roberts (his real name) didn’t even validate my ticket against my ID. I have purchased myself a little taste of home, having gone to Timmy Ho’s across the way, and now I’m going to think peaceful thoughts, like hoping that all the flight delays aren’t going to cause a bunch of paying passengers to ripple onto this flight. Because, folks, if I don’t get on this one, I’m jumping on a bus and going home. God, this isn’t a toasted bagel; they showed it a picture of a campfire and called it square. I was so agitated last night as I was packing that as a displacement activity I did some more work on my routine for the 11th of February. I’m walking up and down in the bedroom, talking to myself. Good thing the kids were out, they think I’m crazy enough as it is, and Dr. Filk had Buffy up so loud he wouldn’t have heard an axe murder in the next room. Well my time here is about up. If I don’t get on the flight I’ll come back and blog my sorrows. Wish me luck.

It’s snowing
2006-01-20— Posted by: allegra

I don’t think it will be snowing in San Francisco. I’ve had to endure comments about leaving body parts there; suffice it to say I don’t plan to.

Finally finished the sheet music for one lousy song. It’s freaking hard when you don’t read music!! I stuck it in an envelope and mailed to my archivist, otherwise known as my Mom. PS, it’s a short one, only four lines long. But I said a song a week and I’m already two weeks behind!!!

Loki the Squirrel Monkey
2006-01-20— Posted by: allegra

His mom died. He’s being hand reared at Taronga Zoo in Australia. Credit AP. Apparently he matches his name to a T. I find his choice of stuffed animal (or transitional comfort object, as it is stuffily known) rather odd.

by way of apology
2006-01-20— Posted by: allegra

For those of you who are grossed out by BUGS, here’s the CUTEST BUNNY PICTURE EVARRRRR!!! Be doubly warned, you’ll spray your coffee and then go AWWWWW!

http://www.fotocommunity.de/pc/pc/mypics/12278/display/4428737

gorgeous photos
2006-01-20— Posted by: allegra

They are all copyrighted, so I’ll play nice and just post the link. http://www.kennanward.com/newstore/notecards/

Ed – not exactly as shown.
2006-01-19— Posted by: allegra

Edward Scissorhands
2006-01-19— Posted by: allegra

Edward Scissorhands was the name of a pseudoscorpion I had as a pet for about a month when I was living in Montreal. He came home on some groceries. Even though he was only half a centimetre long, he had lots of personality, and the first time I saw him I jumped back because he waved his forelegs at me and SCARED ME. How can something I could eat without noticing scare me? Look at the bloody picture! I loved him as much as I’ve ever loved a pet, because HE ATE BABY COCKROACHES. I had never met anything that ate cockroaches before. Then, one day, I made the mistake of putting a spider the same size as Ed in his habitat. There was an epic battle, which I’m happy I didn’t witness, and Ed was dead.

The morning
2006-01-19— Posted by: allegra

Keith is packing his lunch, Katie is memorizing Shakespeare, Paul is preparing to pick up the car from the Krankenhaus, and I’m about to go off to work by bus. Watched about one third each of Reservoir Dogs and Liar Liar last night; couldn’t hack the media and toddled off to bed. We’re all coughing and stuffed up – I am not looking forward to flying Saturday morning. Ach, look at the time, must fly. Oh, oh… forgot to mention that John now has a proper floor in his apartment downstairs. It looks great.

Cheesy goodness
2006-01-18— Posted by: allegra

http://www.well.com/user/arturner/pikachufood.html

Lying awake at 2:39
2006-01-18— Posted by: allegra

It’s now 5:40 – I got up around 4 after lying awake listening to Paul breathe for a while. I had a wonderful dream, that I had just washed a whole bunch of new used dresses (it’s been ages since I bought new clothes) and I was hanging them to dry in the alcove of a house set in the forest, and the light was coming through the clothes; one of them was an pale orange and brown batik dress of an Indian goddess; another was a cotton and lycra dress in blue and white with an interesting pattern on the sleeves. The alcove was separated from the rest of the house by a gauzy curtain, and I lifted it and found two pairs of green shoes that looked like Dorothy’s red shoes from Oz – but green. I noted that the sparkles were starting to fall off. It was a very beautiful dream; the mood was very calm. The night before I dreamed that I went to the States and bought Paul a very nice blue tie with silver aviation related patterns on it.

While I was lying in bed I remembered another song – I’ve logged it in my song list and wrote out the lyrics. I’m now up to 84 songs, and another ten fragments and instrumental songs. Wild. This is going to take bloody EVar to finish even though I am working on it every day.

Paul Martin showed up here today
2006-01-17— Posted by: allegra

Jumping Jimmy Christmas! Paul Martin is downstairs speechifying even as I type this (I’m not actually ‘at work’ yet for another 7 minutes). There’s a total media circus happening and I sourly said to the receptionist as I came in the front door “Who spontaneously combusted?” which got a chuckle out of her. She, of course, can’t do her job when 10,000 media yobs are all clicking and clacking.

Just so you know – he’s not my favorite guy.

This is now the third time this building has been used as a, um, backdrop for political purposes. Where is the love? Where is the lube? And what is this doing for the stock price?

The sermonator returns
2006-01-17— Posted by: allegra

So I did the sermon, and it went over very well, and then I did a LOT of driving in the rain, including the Malahat, which was soggy soggy soggy, and I thank my uncle Barry and auntie Jackie for a lovely visit.

It was nice to see uncle Garry as well.

Hey Lexi if you read this I need to talk to you about the gun course…………

Look what else I found
2006-01-15— Posted by: allegra

Man, there’s nothing I like better than checking out what people have on their hard drives. Look what else I found! Isn’t amazing how much Martin Landau really DOES look like Bela Lugosi? Anyway, this is a lobby card from one of my all time favourite movies when I was a kid. Hey, I don’t HAVE to have good taste, it just comes natural.

Cough, cough choke
2006-01-15— Posted by: allegra

I am still feeling grim, but not so grim that I won’t be able to stand up in the church and do the thang this afternoon. The picture is something poached off my mom’s hard drive; sort of fits in with my emotions.

Off to Victoria
2006-01-14— Posted by: allegra

Paul’s going to drop me off at the ferry this morning and then I’m going to hang with the folks for a day, and then drive up to Courtenay to give my talk on Epistemology, and then hang with the folks up there for a day, and then head home.

There is the strong possibility I will finally get to go to California next weekend but I haven’t booked my flights yet. More on that later!

Everybody here is just ducky, except me… I’m STILL coughing. Most unhappy making as I don’t want to share this horrible cough with anybody, but I have a commitment. I’m also hoping to see Pagan and Eric and their sprog while I’m in Courtenay; we’ll see how much time anybody has to do anything. And I’m taking Tom’s blackberry jelly to my dad! Nothing could make him happier…

The Sermonator
2006-01-14— Posted by: allegra

Randy at work says I am the Sermonator. “Hear me now, und undershtand me later!”

Mt. Augustine go boom
2006-01-13— Posted by: allegra

sQUEAL the love
2006-01-13— Posted by: allegra

Leftover Marzipan
2006-01-13— Posted by: allegra

What a sweet little baby! And good enough to eat…. being made of marzipan.

stretcher cases
2006-01-13— Posted by: allegra

So, Air Canada, in an ongoing effort to make the universe completely suck, is NO LONGER taking stretcher cases. If you are sick and want to go to point a to point b with an attendant, Air Canada will politely refer you to a private air ambulance. Ka ching.

Road trip! I’m off to Comox/Courtenay tomorrow. Relatives! Highways! Sermons! Can this poor ticker stand the excitement?

Now that I’m counting up all of my songs, the damnedest things are happening. Paul said, “Oh, I have the lyrics for a song you haven’t written down in my Palm Pilot.” I looked at it. I don’t recognize it. (It’s called “A Passage to Atlantis” or “The Best of All Possible Worlds”). It’s obviously mine, I have a number of stylistic tics that are quite jarring, but a) I have no recollection of writing it and b) Paul casually told me that there was a tune to go with it. This would be like, a year or two ago. Which horrifies me. I have no idea what it might be. It’s going in the orphan pile, I guess. The song I wrote the day Glenda died, which includes, eerily enough, the words “Well I wish that I knew when we would meet on earth again,” was NOT in the pile, so there you go, a song I wrote less than two months ago vanished until I started humming it to myself the other day, at which point I sat up and went, Hey, wait a minute! Also, my song “F*ck you Jack” hadn’t made it into the pile, and that one has two verses and a chorus, so it’s a real song. I even remember where I was when I composed that one; you know the stretch of the connector that leads up to New Westminster, and goes around an S curve through a little marshy bit where there is quite frequently a great blue heron? There. That’s where I started working on it. It’s a very lovely song, with sentiments that will be meaningful and heartwarming to any person over 40.

Maybe I should just write a song a day to make up for my stupidity. I’ll start with a rousing chorus of “Creature with the Atom Brain” and take it from there. Then I should probably write a song called, “Taking Down my Festive Lights in June” closely followed by “Illegal Fireworks” and “Santa’s going to bring me a dishwasher or you’ll be nookie free this year.” After all, there are a lot of comfortably off elderly songwriters who got that way writing a ‘New Christmas Classic’ (most of which, if you look at the copyrights, were written in the 50s). So all I need to do to have a gleeful life is write a song about some form of sporting endeavour (after all, nobody’s playing Gary Glitter’s Rock and Roll any more in the arenas since he got himself pinched for mucosal merriment with minors, so there’s an opening!), or a Halloween or Christmas song, and I can retire and leave this life of crime. Because, Some Big Kick Ass Deity, I’m telling you, if it gets any worse at work I’m going to have to break my silence and start naming names; work is definitely sliding into my definition of criminal these days.

enough sleep
2006-01-12— Posted by: allegra

Bus stations are the same everywhere
2006-01-12— Posted by: allegra

U can’t sleep here. This is from Tori’s trip pictures…..somewhere in the UK.

Which way to the bookstore?
2006-01-12— Posted by: allegra

This sea lion swam out of Elliott Bay in Seattle, humped its way on top of a car (a hybrid car) and said, “Ork, ork, ork, rrrr-orrrk, ork!?” which means, “Which way to Elliott Bay Bookstore? I promised I’d meet somebody there in the cafe downstairs….”

Call in sick today! Your bed misses you.
2006-01-12— Posted by: allegra

So Keith has been coughing and looking and feeling horrible, and last night around bed time he said, I’ll see if I feel like going in to work tomorrow. Paul and I both said, why don’t you call in sick NOW and then you can sleep in!

He sez, “I can do that?”

So he calls in sick. What I heard, “Hi, it’s Keith; feel like ratshit, so I won’t be coming in on Thursday.”

What he REALLY said was, “Hi, it’s Keith, I feel wretched, so I won’t be coming in on Thursday.”

Then I hear Paul say, in his proud voice, “Very professional!” at which point the top of my head caved in. I think I’m slowly going deaf…. it does run in the family.

You have no idea how lucky you are!
2006-01-11— Posted by: allegra

Self esteem is a dangerous commodity.

Keith made a delicious supper last night.

Kira has learned how to head butt my nose while I’m sound asleep. My nose has been bleeding off and on all morning. You see, I tried to train her to kiss me, but she’s skated over to “Danish style kiss” land; either that or she’s taking her responsibilities as ninja kitty (after all, I DID see her climb a wall while chasing prey one time) a leedle too seriously. I just wanted a little romantic kitty kiss, and now my nose is ****ing broken.

You can all be very happy I didn’t cross post a picture of that kitten that was born with only one eye. Google Cyclops kitten if you want to see the picture. I thought it was the most Harryhausen thing I ever clapped my eye on, so to speak.

Happy happy
2006-01-10— Posted by: allegra

I am so so happy. Keith has been awarded his blue belt in Shitoryu Karate. A mother’s heart is filled with joy.

Up in the air, junior soccer moms
2006-01-10— Posted by: allegra

This is why you’re not supposed to back over a fire hydrant.

Up in the air, junior soccer moms
2006-01-10— Posted by: allegra

This is why you’re not supposed to back over a fire hydrant.

snerk
2006-01-09— Posted by: allegra

I continue to be the snerkiest girl in town, with added phlegm.

one more cute cat pic
2006-01-09— Posted by: allegra

Credit David Caird.

This is Pauly
2006-01-09— Posted by: allegra

This feline is very intelligent, and while being looked after by Brother James in Kanata, participated in a Trivial Pursuit game, as shown. James informs me she did well in all the cat-egories.

The CAT has plush fur
2006-01-08— Posted by: allegra

not Jackie. You’ll have to excuse me, I’m not at my best.

sick sick sick and tired
2006-01-08— Posted by: allegra

I am still sick, but likely will be at work tomorrow; what a horrible thought……. for all the people listening to me coughing up Smurfs.

I have now transcribed most of “Not Afraid to Believe” and about half of “The Tapioca Song”. I am definitely getting faster at transcribing the songs but it’s bloody hard work figuring it out.

Lexi sent me the chords for “Family” which we are hoping to sing at the family reunion.

Mummy reports that my father is “Humming and whistling a lot”. Anybody who knows my dad will know how to interpret this news. All I can say is “Goddess bless the surgeons of BC!”

Hope you all have a much better weekend than me. I think I need to eat some vegetables or something.

Pic is of my aunt Jackie’s cat. She has very very plush fur.

Whiskers
2006-01-08— Posted by: allegra

Whiskers, what HAVE you been drinking? This is Leo and Linda’s cat, and I find the presence of a Glenfiddich bottle somewhat concerning….

enough sleep
2006-01-07— Posted by: allegra

I’m still sick but I feel reasonably cheerful. I just have to get rid of it before I go to the island as I don’t want to give this crud to all my relations. Puddled with Tom and Peggy last night; every time I tried to swim I’d cough, and every time I’d get in the hot tub or the kiddie pool, I’d stop, so I have to say I only did 4 lengths.

Keith got up, looked at my stranglehold on the computer and went straight to Buffy season 4.

Went to parent teacher night Thursday. Katie’s attendance was perfect up until Wednesday of last week and her marks are high B’s although the teachers said that she wasn’t stufying hard enough for the exam.

This is a truly disgusting website
2006-01-06— Posted by: allegra

http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/cat_steve_dont_eat_it.php

Pinched from Tom Smith’s Live Journal.

Have fun.
2006-01-06— Posted by: allegra

http://www.mcphee.com/

Live, Archie McPhee’s is one of the most exhilarating and disorienting places on the planet. The clerks name their office supplies after minor celebrities – the stapler was “Abe Vigoda”.

Life with a cold
2006-01-05— Posted by: allegra

I’m making little snorking noises, which is not overfilling my ocean of charm, because I have a bit of a chest cold. However I forgot all about it last night whilst enjoying Mike and Tori’s hospitality. Tori had spent the day stuffing and unstuffing suitcases and quelling anxiety about her trip… she will be studying art in Glasgow for three months. Mike is really not looking forward to her departure, but if he can he’ll visit her, and if he doesn’t well there will be a rapturous reunion come April.

There is another hot tub move scheduled, or I should say, unscheduled, soon. If anybody reading this has a spot for an 8 person hot tub, they should call me… I know better than to ask Paul about it, nyuk nyuk.

The joys of work will soon be manifested in a performance review, followed by a salary adjustment, effective April 1. What the fff? I mean, it will be the same as every other performance review I’ve ever had, “You work okay, but you need to watch those volcanic emails and quit picking your nose.” And then there will be a raise that just barely hides inflation under its skirt, if I’m lucky. Fortunately, I believe that I am actually making a decent wage for the work I do. I haven’t even had a job description that clove to some version of reality in four years; it’s like asking Insane Clown Posse performing Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring on kazoos and a toy piano to get serious.

Eminem’s getting married again. This is probably going to make one of my coworkers very unhappy; she was referring to herself as Mrs. Mathers up until recently.

Jim E really liked his hopping lederhosen; my bracelets seem to be going over very well too – SLOTH and LUST in attractive colors.

Well, time to throw on some laundry and push a few items into files.

Pic is to remind you of summer, photo credit Katie.

Yet another apocalyptic sign
2006-01-05— Posted by: allegra

Indigo Girls Power of Two as background muzak for Canadian Tire French Language Customer Support?

A great pic
2006-01-04— Posted by: allegra

This is from Brooke’s blog. I had to cross post it. I am in Su Doku ville myself, so a cat, the Georgia Straight and …. Su Doku. It’s the Sunday morning trifecta in the middle of a Wednesday. Cat is called Suzie, and she has issues.

enough sleep
2006-01-04— Posted by: allegra

I had a very busy day at work and then a happy trek to the urologist; I’m scheduled to have a cystoscopy at the end of February. Man, the older you get, the more you have to look forward to.

I have also, like a frikking idiot, signed up for a stand up comedy contest for the 11th of February. Since it’s five bucks for non-contestants to get in I’m not expecting anybody to come out, but anybody who is interested can email me for details.

I’m off to see Mike and Tori tonight as she is heading to Glasgow for 3 months and I won’t be seeing her 🙁 for that long.

Now off to work. Heaving, shuddering sighs, bitter bitter tears.

Back to Work, Heavy Sigh
2006-01-03— Posted by: allegra

Bought Hopping Lederhosen for Jim E at work. If you see a gift that must be purchased, you must purchase it. I bought a wind up pig with special snout action for my mother (mother dear it may be a while before I pack it up and ship it…). Archie McPhee’s in Seattle is a bloody dangerous place. Also picked up two bracelets (Lust and Sloth), a bunch of books, mostly about writing (the 20 plots and how to do them and how to name characters, which was really useful). Our trip to Seattle was an unqualified success and now I want a waterbed. The pilot light blew out while we were gone and Katie nearly froze to death, but sanity and heat have been restored. Okay, heat. ATE a LOT of restaurant food and chazerei. But that’s enough about me… Happy New Year and All That.

happy new year
2006-01-01— Posted by: allegra

Celebrated the New Year by listening to fireworks, a brief storm of rain, and dreaming one quarter of a new Firefly episode in which Badger attempts to convince Mal to smuggle, well, illegal drugs. Don’t wanna go there.

Keith just found a care bear to play World o Warcraft with, so now I have to get off the computer. Oh, one last thing. My friends, my extremely superior friends, have bought me a massage for today. Heavy sigh. Then, bookstores, or the Sci Fi Museum. And the coffee is divine.

This here is Bob
2006-01-01— Posted by: allegra

Made it okay to Seattle after a little meshuggas at the border. We actually got Paul back into Canada with no papers, if you can believe it… then went back to the house to collect his wallet. You may infer something of his level of excitement about this trip from this extremely unusual (like in 25 years, never) lapse of memory.

Keith wheedled Alan into allowing World of Warcraft onto his computer – needless to say he is massively enjoying the immense amounts of graphics crunchiness involved.

Had a lovely lunch, met Lauryn and Loren and Hank (and promptly fell into the usual fannish game of My Anecdote has LARGER Explosions than Your Anecdote, and is Markedly Funnier TOOO). Lauryn, dear mama, is the gal who made the handbag from the material I posted a picture of some weeks ago. The Family Pancake House was really fun. I am staring in despair at surroundsound bookshelves, all of which are bursting with Books I have Heard Of, Books I have Heard of And Wish To Immediately Read, and Books that I have Never Heard of and are Kind Of Scary. Suffice it to say that if you are a mystery, horror or scifi fan this place is a lot like waking up in the vastly improved version of the next world; you know, like a heaven god forgot to visit. Paul improved the shining hour by applying his craftiness to the plumbing… I am working on my second beer, so my attention to plumbing is of a somewhat different, although equally utilitarian, order.

There’s going to be an Alien Place Setting contest at the LA Worldcon. Sort of a Keith Laumer / Judy Chicago mashup. Ah right. I hear DVDish noises from the sunken livingroom. (I am a child of the sixties; I still think sunken livingrooms are the ne plus ultra of architectural cool.

The car ran great for the trip down.

Janice gave me a CD of Gershwin music, squee.

Joss Whedon says that when the tv executives get hard up for ideas, they can go back to England and try a “Deadwood” on for size. “Like Jane Austen with Tourette’s” he remarks, and apologies for all the folks out there with Tourette’s. Always figured I had a subclinical case of Tourette’s – I simply CAN’T stop swearing, no matter How Hard I Try.

Alan owns this computer, and he’s vulching (to vulch, make like a vulture) so, I’m outta here….. More later, dearest mama.

Corrections, and a little blue dot
2007-01-07— Posted by: allegra

Katie DID SO tell me she was spending the night out, I just didn’t see the note until after I blogged. Also, psot is actually post.

http://www.bigskyastroclub.org/pale_blue_dot.htm

The above noted URL will not come as a surprise to any thinking person, but it’s a good reminder, anyway, and ties in very nicely with church this morning.

At church this morning I cut up pineapples and lit a candle for sorrow that Paul and I are breaking up and wished they could run through new songs at least once before those of us who can’t read music had to sing them.

Lawyers say, “Don’t hire lawyers!”
2007-01-07— Posted by: allegra

Two boring paragraphs about marital breakdown removed, thanks be to the blessed Virgin.

Went swimming last night. If I had the courage, I’d take a picture of how my hair looks right now… I went to bed with my hair wet. It’s quite wild, really.

No children in the house. Katie didn’t come home and didn’t call, and Keith is off with the grands in Victoria, having sworn he’d make up the time he missed with the family over Christmas Eve.

Big shout out to the people who have listened to my whining over the last few days. I’ll try to shut up now, and remember I’m not the only person in the world with troubles.

There will be a chocolate fountain at church today. Attendance, while certainly not mandatory, seems advisable.

It’s been Bally Ages since I posted a moose pic
2007-01-07— Posted by: allegra

This is a moose in a blindfold. Her ass is in a sling. She is flying, flying, in a sling, blindfolded. She is being airlifted someplace. See the moose swing. See the moose bawl for Gravol. See moose lose lunch, then breakfast, then that big mistake of a midnight moosesnack.

Poor moose.

Sundry & various
2007-01-06— Posted by: allegra

I was talking to Paul and I said, “So if you and I had had a baby girl who was never going to mature mentally, do you suppose we would have had surgery done on her to keep her small?”

Paul looked disgusted and said no. Both of us figure we might be tempted, and we are trying to be sympathetic to the parents of that young girl in Seattle who’s been modded so extremely, but no. Me neither. Yeesh.

I note from the news that the right wing extremists have been handed a headline so wonderful, so apropos of their deepest fears, that it’s really quite remarkable. The first baby born in New York in 2007 was eligible for loadso dough and then, KACHING, not so much. Because, alas, her parents were ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS. Yoink! They breed like …. well, really fecund mammals, you know.

Sometimes duct tape doesn’t cut it.
2007-01-05— Posted by: allegra

More on the BC Place collapse.

Just for fun
2007-01-05— Posted by: allegra

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8169479164505906923&q=Brick+HOuse

The roof at BC Place just collapsed
2007-01-05— Posted by: allegra

This isn’t a great picture, but the weather here kinda sucks right now. You can sorta see that the roof is flat rather than domed.

AWWW……….
2007-01-05— Posted by: allegra

Marilyn Manson and Dita von Teese are getting a divorce. No word on who gets custody of the dogs and cats.

From Wired, from Fanpop
2007-01-05— Posted by: allegra

The Tree Climbing Goats of Morocco………

From Wired, from Fanpop
2007-01-05— Posted by: allegra

The Tree Climbing Goats of Morocco………

Meet Madagascar’s newest critter
2007-01-05— Posted by: allegra

This is a sucker footed bat Myzopoda schliemanni. Isn’t it adorable? I want one.

recursive blogging thoughts
2007-01-05— Posted by: allegra

http://blog.wired.com/sterling/

Gosh, I thought my blogging was self-indulgent claptrap, with a side of funny pictures, and then I read Bruce Sterling’s blog. He specifically references two links which made my breakfast sit funny.

http://www.eurozine.com/articles/2007-01-02-lovink-en.html is the one that made me very very depressed.

From Bill Knott’s New Years Day Blog:

Once they get to a certain age, poets should be put to sleep; I don't mean all poets, not real poets, successful poets: but poets like me, second-raters, third-raters, run of the mill whether SOQ hack like me or superannuated avant, we should get it in the neck.

I know that poetry and depression go together; In my opinion Bill was either asking for an intervention or just expressing his feelings. And feelings come and go. Very few people stay in the same zone of feeling all the time; I suppose yogis and lamas and professional sportscasters have it, but I don’t meet people like that every day. When I run into writers and artists who express feelings like that (words fail, I feel like a failure, I’ve lost my edge), I think about Emily Dickinson. When she couldn’t write poems – for whatever reason – she baked biscuits. Creativity in its rawest form is the refinement of craft. Everything you need is already there, and it’s assembled in a new way, with a new message, pointing at a new star, revealing a new world; expounding new laws; craft just reassembles the old stuff the same old way, with the beauty of individual expression in the mix.

If you can’t write poems, write sermons; children’s doggerel; the autobiography of your cat; the story of the reincarnation of a snowflake into a raindrop, and vice versa, in the space of a single storm; find a musician who can’t write lyrics and collaborate on a song; teach poetry in a school; walk three miles and do ten minutes of blasting onto a page when you’re done; quit treading water and put your foot down. Above all, move. I believe another take on Pound’s dictum; poetry removed from music and dance too far is creaky, corrupt, suspect, inhuman.

I’d have an all singing, all dancing, all Rockettes-at-intermission blog, but I can’t afford it yet. Soon.

I think I will reread Blaise Cendrars. Now there was a poet. Flung into the hell of war, losing an arm, living broke, he rose up singing, and singing again, and he sang the world into being, again, every day that he was alive.

An inch of snow
2007-01-05— Posted by: allegra

Oooh. There’s an inch of fresh snow on the ground; I couldn’t understand why it was so light in my room at four am, but now, with all the reflection, it makes perfect sense.

Lindsay Lohan is having her appendix out, which is scandalous…is there nothing that woman won’t do to maintain her weight?

I brought a bunch of boxes home from work yesterday; hopefully the dejunking will continue this weekend.

Rude? Sexist? Canadian content?
2007-01-04— Posted by: allegra

Rude? Sexist? Canadian content? Big check on that.

http://www.break.com/index/effect_of_drugs_and_alcohol_on_spider_webs.html

As soon as I heard the music I was back in my childhood, but I got over that really fast.

Homeless in Vancouver? Now there’s a game!
2007-01-03— Posted by: allegra

http://www.wetcoast.org/games/homeless/homeless.swf

Illegal, immoral or —- you guessed it!
2007-01-03— Posted by: allegra

http://www.cspinet.org/nah/10foods_bad.html

Jaron Lanier, opinionated dude
2007-01-03— Posted by: allegra

http://www.edge.org/documents/archive/edge183.html

Oooh! The internet fairies came during the night
2007-01-03— Posted by: allegra

I have FINALLY, FINALLY, listened to one of my reader’s entreaties and I’m rolling from newest to oldest psots. Also, another reader has been begging me to remember that some people in this universe have dialup, and would I kindly not load every page and every picture, every day and every month. I can already hear Jim in Kanata squealing about the yellow, I will deal with that at some point soon………

Big big shout out to Glenn who hath much magic and is owed much by many.

cure for cancer
2007-01-03— Posted by: allegra

I wiped the sleep out of my eyes and discovered that somebody invented a cure for cancer. It’s amazing what happens on the Interwebs when you’re asleep! Oh, darn. There’s the fine print, it hasn’t been tested in humans. Okay, I can go back to sleep now. The reference is on Bruce Sterling’s weblog, in case you have any interest.

Today will be more like a full and proper day at work, with a full complement of staff, which means I should have my lunch bunch back in one fine ensemble of photography afiocionados.

Irina in the caf is quitting wah! To get more education and higher pay, yay! (2019 says I worked with her again at Aramark at Royal Columbian) Honest to God, everytime I hear her say, “Biscotti” in that heavy heavy Russian accent, I shiver in pleasure. I’ve given her the recipe twice now – she was frantic when she misplaced it during her move – and I was commiserating with her about how the results are even better in a gas stove but you have to watch it like a hawk because it burns so much more readily. I know that a girl’s supposed to have a signature recipe that she possessively clings to, but I’ve always given the recipe to anybody who asked for it, and dang, I’ve posted it to my blog twice…

I finished mailing out the co-op applications; now let’s see who wants somebody with a fair amount of non-profit experience… who won’t need a subsidy.

My to do list magically got bigger during the night. Has this ever happened to you???

I actually memorized this song
2007-01-02— Posted by: allegra

It’s one of my “I will sing this in public if given any encouragement at all” songs.

http://dingo.care2.com/cards/flash/5409/galaxy.swf

Scorpio horoscope
2007-01-02— Posted by: allegra

Excuuuuse me while I roll around larfing. Herewith my horrorscope <*?>Scorpio: Overall, the forecast for today is fairly good. Planetary aspects favor figuring out the meaning of all that has transpired over the past several weeks. It is an opportunity for you to take a leisurely look at the distance you have covered as you move forward toward your goals. Since it is an auspicious day for social activities, why not get together with friends and discuss the latest events with them?

My god, I’ve had a phone glued to my ear for hours every day for the last two weeks. Nice to know my astrologer finally caught up with me….

Back to work
2007-01-02— Posted by: allegra

It is very wet and windy here. Quite disgusting, eckshully.

Happy sigh
2007-01-02— Posted by: allegra

In the face of overwhelming odds, I maintained my sanity; I performed laundering and cleaning of dishes and emptying of cat litter (whoo-wee), I mailed off about twenty application requests to co-ops, I walked around downtown in the rain with Keith a lot, visited Doug and L.E., heard cuts off Odditorium, watered some plants (after trying to open the wrong fricking door, thank God the tenants weren’t home), I called a bunch of people to wish them a happy new year (and only people I really felt like talking to, and mostly got voicemail) and talked to Maggie and cleared up a misunderstanding. Gosh I’m dense sometimes. I’m okay with that.

Picture is of a headline from a local newspaper. I would like to be subtle about this, but there are a couple of other laughs on this front page, so I implore you to examine the entire image for chuckles.

an island is born
2007-01-01— Posted by: allegra

Check out the pix of a yacht cruising through a sea of stones – pumice stones – as an island is born in the Pacific. http://yacht-maiken.blogspot.com/2006/08/stone-sea-and-volcano.html

Dr. Filk’s 2007
2007-01-01— Posted by: allegra

Here’s a pic of Dr. Filk’s 2007, brought to you by Finnish stannomancy.

enough sleep
2007-01-01— Posted by: allegra

Here’s my lump of lead from the New Years’ divining we did last night. This divinatory tradition is apparently thousands of years old. Keith’s was very long and thin, with a knob at one end and a ninety degree bend at the other, by which he interpreted that he was going to have some heavy sledding before he finishes up his schoolwork. Paul’s was very complex; I’d show a pic but I don’t know what he did with it.

The next pic will show Dr. Filk’s; Dr. Filk is normally quite dismissive of all this irrational stuff, but he admits that he enjoys the ‘Finnishing touches’ and the last one he participated in showed money coming in two thirds of the way through the year, which actually turned out to be true.

I find echoes of Stabat Mater, a parrot on a perch and an abalone. You can say it’s all baloney if you like!

Second last blast of links for 2006
2006-12-31— Posted by: allegra

http://map-o-net.com/ A Map of the internet.

A hobbit hole in Wales? http://www.simondale.net/house/index.htm

Combat hand signals…useful in modern urban combat. http://www.lefande.com/hands.html

About time! an on line mando tuner….http://www.mandozine.com/resources/mandotuner.php