Settler colonial SF writer (leanpub.com/upsun), blogger & musician living where privilege meets precarity in BC. Novels: Midnite Moving Co., Upsun, Sweep Off Those Waves, Hair Sinister, Sweetie's House of Tentacles, Honey on the Moon, and more to come. RECONCILIATION IS HORSESHIT GIVE THE LAND BACK
22 ways rapists hurt men
They reduce the number of women interested in sex. Then they blame women for not being available. They drag you along for that ride.
They damage women physically and sometimes give them long term health problems which your taxes help pay to ameliorate.
They spread diseases.
They make men who don’t rape look bad by association.
They use men who don’t rape as camouflage.
They can sometimes leave psychological damage resulting in some women have a hard time being open and honest about their sexuality. Some women vomit, cry or go limp during consensual sex because they’ve been raped. If they won’t tell you why, it can leave you devastated about your own sexuality.
They are convinced that women deserve to be raped, and con younger men who look up to them into believing the same thing. That younger man could be you, your brother, your son.
They mess with your reality, your life, your future and your trust by raping women you love and continuing to be your ‘friend’. THIS HAPPENS WAY MORE THAN MEN REALIZE.
They are the men who invented the friendzone, and try to convince you that the way out of the friendzone is rape.
They tell women you love that no-one will believe them as they rape them, with the end result that the women you love will lie to you about what’s happened to them, by omission.
They hurt people and spread the blame across all men.
They expect you to stick up for them if they are caught.
They trick you into agreeing if they say she deserved it, so you can be reduced to their level of selfishness.
They gloss over how much of rape is rape PLUS child abuse PLUS mental cruelty PLUS messing over the reproductive futures of the women they rape, and possibly, as a consequence, you.
They honestly believe that what they are doing is merely ‘having sex’, ‘getting laid’; their inability to feel remorse or consequences mars the relationships between and among men.
They prop up the notion that sex is something women have that men want, rather than sex being a continuum of desire / consent / ability / availability.
They misuse science to prop up their belief systems and turn up the volume when they are repeatedly proven wrong, to the point that any evidence that rape is not a ‘natural state of affairs’ gets shouted down.
They turn men who don’t rape into faceless villains. It’s hard to be the hero in your own life when you’re the bad guy in literally thousands of other lives.
They kill the ability to be sexually spontaneous in some women, one of whom may end up being your partner.
They rape your sisters, daughters, mothers and friends.
They kill discourse by threatening rape to women who say things that irritate or refute them.
They make it possible for human trafficking for sexual slavery to occur by making rape part of the breaking in process, hurting every close family member of the victim.