I suppose I should wish a Happy Mother’s Day to all of us who bore the pangs of motherhood (or got drugs, or whatever). This year the media emphasis seems to be on the shadow mother – the narcissist, the abuser, the drunk, the enabler, the critic, the destroyer of hopes, the ‘where is the other 1 %’ when you brought home a nearly perfect score (my fOlks only did this to me once and I could tell they were joking, thank my native wit), the flirt (or outright lecher), the “fetch me my pills” mom, the wiped out by chronic illness mom, the woman who never complains about anything but dashes herself against maternal martyrdom and a husband or partner who grinds her into pieces, the mom with no boundaries, no common sense, no decency, no good moods, no good habits, who’s so full of superstition and fear and anger and bitterness and ill health and fear of germs and hypocrisy and materialism that she wrecks all the little lives she births, and every single one of those children must pupate and transform under someone else’s eye, or perforce on their own, with varying degrees of success.
True maternal love is efficient. It doesn’t snag on the flaws of the mother, but on the needs of the child.
Yeah, thinking about motherhood. Thinking about Kima. And Pat Murphy’s The Falling Woman.
1.8 hours on the ‘pap last night. My eyes are still refusing to completely unstick and open. No words yesterday. I am still in a very strange mood, not bleak but blank.
I am very happy with my new dental work now that it has settled in. Paul’s predicting that the ceramic crown won’t last too long, but I’m feeling positive.
The CT scan was so trivial I hardly wanted to mention it. I get results at the end of the month.
Tomorrow Paul and I and the kids (unless Paul stays down south because the flying is awesome) get together for an ‘after everything has gone on sale’ Mother’s Day. We’ll be potlucking at Planet Bachelor.
Keith complained to me last night. I won’t be specific. I will say “Oh my sweet summer child. The human heart is complicated no matter your affectional preferences!”