Murder hobo

This is a descriptive term invented some time in the mid-oughts, for somebody who wanders around games killing people and stealing shit as a lifestyle choice

 

Alexios the murder hobo

ran around ancient Greece

He loved to deal out violence

And he dealt it out piece by piece

He’d skulk around the market square

Inquiring if anybody needed murdering there

He’d take it on for a hefty price

And how he got it done wasn’t often very nice

HOBO!

He’s a murderous

HOBO!

Out a-murdering…

HOBO!

He’s a murderous ….

but ya gotta love the way he loves to do his thing

 

Alexios the murder hobo

hailing from Thermopylae

Stabs folks more or less at random

He really is quite a guy

He kills by day, he kills by night

His armourer really gets the credit in a fight

He’s got a bird named Icarus

He always wears the cutest little truss

HOBO!

He’s a murderous

HOBO!

Out a-murdering…

HOBO!

He’s a murderous ….

but ya gotta love the way he loves to do his thing

 

Alexios the murder hobo

had everything an Ancient Greek needs

a fabulously stellar reputation

for troubling and horrific deeds (wait…. wut??)

He’ll poison…. all the boys in your crew

and come back in the dead of night and do for you too

CHORUS

Alexios the murder hobo

has one final tesk to complete

Climb up every statue on the game map

and teabag them with rhythm sweet

He’ll scramble up

He’ll scramble down

Take a screen cap in the middle

and scramble out of town

Cause he’s a hobo, a statue tea-bagging hobo

out a teabagging

Hobo, he’s a tea bagging hobo

Out a tea bagging

Hobo, he’s a tea bagging hobo

but you got to love the way he loves to do his thing

 

Alexios the murder hobo

Has ships that run on magical oars

I don’t know who they’ve got below decks

I bet that they’ve got friction sores

The sails go up, the sails come down

the rigging defies physics and then BOOM they run aground

And he’s a hobo, a right piratical hobo

out a pirating

Hobo, he’s a salvaging hobo

But you got to love the way the crewmen never get to sing