Oh look I found pOp’s religion



Yesterday was the BIRD and O LORD. Katie, because she is a goddess come among us PICKED UP THE TURKEY which involved forking out 5 sawbucks for it. I left it on the counter so it was almost room temperature when I put in the oven.

Nothing but hassles with the fucking stuffing. You need to cook the stuffing in a dish, so the bottom doesn’t burn and it can be steamed -if you’re doing it in the Instant Pot -, but I’m special and different and the rules don’t apply to me (as it always turns out this is not true) it got very very crispy and extremely mushy AT THE SAME TIME because that’s what happens when you put it on four cook cycles and then add stock and reset it every time it saysImage result for instant pot burn . In despair I handed it to Katie to chip out of of the instant pot and left it on the stovetop and then for the last hour I stopped despairing and I threw it in with the bird where the stuffing absorbed about two thirds of the fat and butter which rolled off the turkey and went from being, ‘yeah I am stuffing, I contain pork, celery, poultry seasoning, two loaves of bread, an onion’ to being I AM STUFFING WORSHIP ME AS YOUR GOD FOR ALL TIME for my UMAMI ESCULENCE IS INFILTRATING YOUR EVERY NERVE AND SINEW haha haaaa ha ha ha ha ha ha

KATIE ALSO RESCUED THE GRAVY, which I managed to almost ruin because I don’t stir things.

Anyway, there were smashed potatoes, boiled carrots, yams and sweet potatoes (why both, why not), stuffing, cranberry dressing finished with a tablespoon of rum, beets, and the bird itself was PERFECTLY COOKED and moist throughout, seriously it’s possible I’ve done one better bird in my life back in Toronto when we lived on the Lakeshore. I’ve made prettier birds, with more crackly skin but this bird was perfect for noms.

Mike came and gave me a ukelele, isn’t it hideous? It sounds great. Mike has invited me for a Christmas Day sauna, to which as you can imagine my response is a cheery hell yeah.

So we had family plus Paul and Mike. Hung out with Alex some more.

My feet are killing me. Cooking means standing and I’m not a fan.