Author: Allegra

Wrote a very very hard scene yesterday.

Human sexuality is a miserable thing. About the time we really need to use our brains and speak honestly and clearly to each other about what we’re doing all of the endocrinological stuff that makes sex a) possible and b) scary amounts of fun completely blows your cognitive function into a jelly mold.

I have never in my life gotten into consent as much as Jesse does in that scene. Must be nice to be heteronormative and clueless (WHY YES IT IS)

760 Words yesterday

Taking it easy… pleasant day so far.

Last night Jeff and I were over at Mike’s… the VR set up sang its siren song and there was pizza.

Still working on the Love Theme from When I Am Dead. I’ll probably learn that I stole it from something, but the best part about being me is that I didn’t steal my temperament. My Scythian ancestors, Api bless them and give them nice tunics for feast days, might hoist one of their disgusting concoctions and nod, if they were ever sober enough to do that while they were in town.

Before that, Keith and I drove back from Victoria in our lovely rented 2018 Corolla which is a beeeeyootiful car and a complete fuckin’ gas hog – 20 bucks to go from Van to Vic and back? I don’t think the car was topped up when I left or and it’s a gas hog.

We saw Cuz Alyssa, Unca Barry, Auntie Jacquie, the parental units, Ontie Mary and of course Keith was there. He moved datura plants, tetris style. The difference between his description and mOm’s I will hold in my heart. (Style, not content.)

Ride back uneventful. this morning’s morning though is definitely the kingdom of daylight…. weather so beautiful and not right. This is November and we should be harboring gloom and sheltering night…

later

god it’s gorgeous out

Keith called yesterday wanting to take me to Victoria this weekend but Paul needed his car back when he missed his flight and Keith’s car is in the shop. Jeff needs his vehicle for client requirements and it’s a little late to be renting a car, but there you go.

Anyway, if we don’t turn up it’s not as if we didn’t try.

Work is much better, but I continue to work toward better habits and faster production.

LATER

Keith has rented a car, we’re leaving tomorrow morning, apparently.

fun has returned

Yesterday, an 11 hour day not counting the two hours in transit, was the most spectacularly bad day I have ever had at a job. It was busy, I lost my cool, I did stupid things, but I will endeavour to persevere and they can fire me on Thursday, when the new MOA starts, if they take a mind to. In the meantime I’ll keep plugging.

I’m not officially participating in Nanowrimo, the writing contest/encouragement/accountability event which gets people to write novels, but I am working on a destiel fic and I’ve started up on HOTM again so that’s good. Also I’ve managed to retcon my internal fanfic so it now all makes sense, what happened between Jesse and Slider BEFORE Jesse ran off to be a sex worker. It’ll be clunky as hell but real life unfortunately doesn’t come with a great soundtrack and bangin’ dialog…

Work, that is. Things are calm at home although brO is still adjusting his work habits to the blessed silence of my absence.

500 words on HOTM and not one but two new fics. At some point I supposed I’ll have to pee.

TURNED THE LIGHTS OFF

No decor

Got trick or treaters anyway, including a Pocahontas.

Really good day at work

soft good brO brO banged on my door when I was napping at 11 yesterday morning to tell me that if I wanted to see my grandson I should get up, so I did. Me and Poppa Paul and Katie and Alex mall walked at Lougheed; I found some more of my favourite soap and some extremely bright safety lights for Katie and Alex. I pushed him around in a little red car that you can get from guest services at Lougheed.

He was really antsy, but we watched some violent racist transphobic Warner Bros cartoons with him and for about ten whole minutes he leaned up into me and cuddled and MY BOCKIT ISS FULLLLL NOW.

One of my all time favourite Hollywoo types just posted a brief video of himself running a chain saw through a large, already sectioned tree IN FLIP FLOPS.

Then he calls himself out for it.

Hm, I think he should have gone inside to change.

I hope to see Alex and get some shit done today, including a shop when Jeff gets up.

EENTERESTING. there’s a new flu drug, with a new activity mode.

I can see using this mode of reproductive control going horribly worng.

Ah, those crazy Russkis.

More weirdness from Antartica.

Backyard climate science in BC.  

I actually met Honey Sherman (once) a million years ago, so I’m following with more than my usual goulash interest. Sorry Ghoulish.

I sure hope I get to see my grandson this weekend, I’m losing my equilibrium.

Made a girl his age in a stroller smile yesterday. Dogs and kids hate my sunglasses so I lifted them up, smiling, and put them back on, frowning, and after the third iteration she cracked up. I’m getting my kid fu back Ah reckon.

Flying solo at work. It was really hard, and it’s a fucking typhoon of paper, and there’s always the feeling I’m missing something or getting it wrong.

Bosslady came in like a dwarf in a D&D game, carrying a shitpile of stuff, dispensed wisdom and gossip like the frickin’ bawwwwsssss she is and took off again. Absolutely stunner, that one.

I’ve spent the last five years being sad and angry about what happened when I lost my last ‘good job’. Capitalism, the economy and the complete fucking stupidity of everybody I ever worked with not helping me when I approached them directly looking for work.

Let’s just say that there has been a lot going on in the background that I haven’t been talking about in my blog. Anyway, FINALLY an acquaintance came through. It’s work I can do and I passionately believe in the mission, so there’s not much more I can ask.

And the commute’s tolerable; I very very rarely have to stand, and if I must stand it’s for a ten minute bus ride, not an hour of agony as I get slung all over Marine Drive with a bunch of fuckwits who marinaded in Axe before taking the bus.

Let’s just say I won’t make that mistake again. Yes Allegra it’s possible for their to be three clinics in one day even if you’ve only ever seen two. SO I didn’t do the reminders for T’s clinic.

I LEARNED THIS ON THE WAY OUT THE DOOR my poor colleague E was stuck doing the reminders as I sauntered out.

Call a dr.’s office and start singing I’M ON HOLD AGAIN (this was before E came in after lunch so I was on my lonesome in the fishbowl) and both of the midwives on clinic overheard me and cracked up. Then somebody handed me a baby and he FELL ASLEEP ON ME AS I HUMMED THE TUNE OF THE MR NIPPLEOFF SONG

holding a sleeping baby …. just thinking about it the next day and I’m all cry face like it was my grandkid or something

the last baby CRIEDNCRIEDNCRIEDNCRIED AND what a relief when I handed him back.

AND I BOOKED THREE INITIAL APPOINTMENTS THAT’S HOW WE DO IT PEOPLE so I have finally booked enough appointments to pay for my first couple of weeks at work.

Yeah. If I don’t do it, and I have the sales skills of a locker door, we all starve.

GOOD THING I’M SUCH A BLAZING FUCKING FAN OF MIDWIFERY.

Then I discussed not one but three different things you’re never supposed to talk to your boss about, how fucked up the software and two other items about our personal lives you’re never supposed to bring to the office.

THEN SHE MADE ME TAKE A WALK.

and pushed two kinds of chocolate into the fishbowl

Yeah what a terrible terrible boss.

She hates that software too and has a plan to be rid of it.  ALL THE MEMES OF TWISTED PLEASURE MMMMMM

I am past the point of not knowing what to do next.

Didn’t see Alex this past weekend and I’m antsy with it, weirdly.

Beautiful day today – three of cups for a daysign

got beef congee for breakfast at Mike’s! god it was so, so good

Pho for lunch with Paul after a Deer Lake walk

Got asked to work today and refused and man

I’m so glad I stuck to my guns because I am doing fine

loving enjoying the last of the weather

before we’re in Raintober again