Allegra, you are bleeding crazy!
I spent most of last evening with Dax, and then went to Suzanne’s. I didn’t argue with him. I didn’t give him any money. And we worked on cover letters and talked. I also met his dad.
Why the **** would I do that? Well, I have a number of reasons. First, I wanted to be very clear with him what my rationale is for going anywhere near him after all the horrible stuff that happened with Katie. I want him to be working, not in jail. If he’s working, he can pay rent, help his family, think about getting some money together for school, and have something resembling a life. If he’s in jail, not so much. Second, I am wanting to shed my reputation as an evil cow; I got to hear some of the stuff Dax said about me second hand, and I kinda want to prove it’s not really true. One can say, “But if he’s in jail he can’t hurt Katie!” but I would really prefer he was paying taxes. Third, it’s really hard for me to model forgiveness and getting on with your life if I refuse to do it because it’s hard. Humans is apes. It’s easier for the ape to do what it has seen being done.
Tammy said that the biggest difference between poor people and rich people is that poor people don’t get a lot of training or practice in deferring gratification. There is no next year; there is no tomorrow.
Except, unfortunately, there is.
Thank you for posting. I can officially stop my ridiculous worrying now.
Oh, and in case anybody’s wondering, Katie’s response to me talking to Daxus was one word. “Whatever.”
Wise heads have asked me if perhaps I’m leading Dax on to think that a reconciliation is possible. It’s because I DON’T think a reconciliation between Daxus and Katie is possible that I feel comfortable about getting involved. I imagine that makes no sense to many of you, but rationality and ordered logic have never been my strong suit.
I assume that you applied triage and found that dax wasn’t beyond repair. Interesting – the comment about poor people having no tomorrow. Somewhat the same applies when you are old, no tomorrow only a past.
I don’t know about triage. I do know that boundaries have to be set and enforced… the rest of the comments would have to be offline.