not much to report

Bih-bah project continues. Advent calendar of Christmas carol parodies continues (the time to work on Christmas stuff is February – I will post them during Advent this year, and some of them are quite funny, so I hope you enjoy them – I did We Three Kings and I saw Three Ships this morning.) I have written about 350 words on Best Roommate since last report. I am working on a song with no name, but it’s about Vancouver, and the land ack is built into it, so I’m happy with it, also it’s on the ukelele and I hadn’t composed anything on the uke in ages, so that was good. I’m particularly liking the accompaniment, it’s not exactly unique but it’s distinctive.
I am possibly working on some more kidney grit, so no black tea for me for a while, and I should probbly lay off the almonds, but that frenz is la super hard to do when your buddy heaves two kilos of organic Australian almonds (plump, unblemished, like a lifestyle ad) onto your front steps thank you TOM!
KAOSSILATOR NOTES GAte 49, S61, 90 bpm, turn the volume up all the way, 5ths, C_; hold left thumb in bottom left corner until the gate arpeggiator drops tick tick tick percussion like noises into the mix and then slide your right index finger slowly back and forth along the bottom. Occasionally deke upwards for an other worldly yipping noise. At the end let go for the fade. Gives a very atmospheric creeping through a darkened building/alley/tunnel feel.

Waiting for a CT scan to find out if I really do have brain damage and how bad it is…. YUMMY. Not recommended.

“G-d made me trans for the same reason he made grapes but not wine and wheat but not bread. So that man may participate in the act of creation” -some wise Jewish trans person whose name I don’t remember – @zfreinstatler on twitter this morning

Fuck the deleted at Royal Columbian Hospital

this is a big jolly fuck you to the health records department at RCH who have now been holding up me getting the final administratium stone in place for treating a lifelong health condition
 
WHY YOU HAVE TO MAKE THIS SO HARD
I call them, I call my Dr.’s office, I call them, I call my Dr.’s office, I call them, I call my Dr.’s office, and fuck them, seriously.
And this is why adults with ADD don’t get diagnosed and treated; you have to be a responsible adult with a support system and funny thing about that.
UPDATE JAN 29TH rrrffrrrrr it was actually the neurologist HASN’T READ IT YET so I now have spoken to everyone involved in this cluster barring the neuro and so it’s all HIS fault.

Officially a pensioner

As of this month I am collecting a pension. I certainly FEEL old enough to be collecting a pension, and I’m pleased and somewhat proud to have managed to get this old. THANKS FOR THE AWESOME EPIGENETICS FoLKS

Today I have a long, long to do list but I’ll keep it to myself, since I likely won’t get to half of it. Three letters stamped and ready to go, including an extra-long whiny one with bonus ART in it for mOm.

I think today I will be more household chore oriented and a little less on the creative side – wrote four soundtrack chunks yesterday with names like KOI POND IN RAIN, SUSPICIOUS FUNERAL MUSIC, TELECOM #2 and THE REALIZATION. If I can figure out how to record them – Anthony will likely help if I can’t arrange it – they will end up on this site in the fullnews (nice typo!!) of time.

Twitter this morning was so full of white people being assholes that I quit doomscrolling early to come here to complain.

I will not be buying this software today

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When you go to the checkout (SchedulePress individual, on sale for $39 now!) and this appears, do you back away slow? or do you back away fast, take a snapshot, and then send it to customer support because you’re a dirty great cow!?

Yes, I went for option 2. (Later, no, I didn’t bother. My classic laziness reasserted itself.)

I guess I AM REALLY PISSED OFF about how within two seconds of my having installed it they were bugging me to review it. SO I DID I gave it a good review, not five stars because I haven’t used it all, but it looked good so…

Now every other day I’m being asked to review the software, and every other day I type in “I already reviewed it,” so

candidly

I think this is the kind of thing I’m allowed to whine about.

And since the iteration I have is free, I need to find another kind of software. brO it was a great suggestion and I was using it, but this is… suboptimal

Moving day

moving day

moving day

if you can’t pay the rent you’ll have to live out in a tent because it’s

moo

ha oo

ha oo-ving day

Katie rented the truck for today and goes to pick it up at 10 am; I’ll go over to Planet Bachelor this forenoon and help out how I can. Jeff and I are so glad we’re not moving right now it’s quite remarkable.

Here is a lovely poem, with some context.

9,189 9443 words

As we come up on the Inauguration I find myself more and more frightened. I tell myself that Trmp and his people are too stupid to manage an insurrection, but it’s really the grift that’s the point, but I’m still afraid of good people dying, and the number of people in Canada who feel the same way as the Trumpites is huge, and this is a long term problem that will not go away.

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Cartoon of a donkey and an elephant. In the first frame Donkey’s placard reads UNITY and the Elephant’s F*** YOUR FEELINGS. The second frame the donkey’s placard is ACCOUNTABILITY and the elephant’s now covered in rainbows and butterflies, says UNITY.  NICK ANDERSON A RÉALISÉ CE DESSIN

Two Daves

Two letters written but not posted today; it’s a Two Dave day.

Jeff’s just asked me to go downstairs and watch a Time Team. Hope it’s something Saxon or Roman. L8r Nope, medieval and Tudor. But really interesting if you’re crazy about remodelling castles for successive waves of improvements in warfare, boom goes the gunpowder.

Alex was here recently and I’m just remembering him being happy about getting a tube shot on the Xenon game and it made me happy in consequence.

Buster was past damp into dripping wet, and filthy when he came back in this morning…. must be horrible to have to clean that crap off with your teeth and mouth blech.

Indian food delivered last night. I was very happy with the quality and quantity for the price. It’s a new place (8 months?)  that does pizza and Desi food Pasifika style, which is like, so Vancouver, it hurts.

Chuck Yeager, RIP. His autobiography is most entertaining.

Letter from Onty Mary, and I’m so glad she enjoyed the paper art I put in with a recent letter, that was cheering.

Today has been set aside for One Grim Task. I do not want this task. I do not want the cascade of tasks that will flow from this One Grim Task. I AM DISGUST, SON.

It’s 10:20 in the morning and I am still not nerved up for this gd task. I am actually hitting the old moral GPS for a recalc from my new position and fuck me if it’s not taking a bit longer than any reasonable person might expect. What is it that a reasonable person following Stoic principles might expect? I said I’d write first PHEW AN OUT, I HAVE AN OUT.

With that I must now turn my attention to the real writing I need to do today, otherwise known as Quarantine Porn. And that works whether I’m talking about the UPSUN universe or my rapidly-winding-down interest in writing porny Supernatural fanfic. (Not all of it’s porn, some of it’s just fluff.)

And if I’m not going to write that, I have to go back out into the kitchen and either work some more on The Dark Book – current section is “the Calendar” and it’s fucking MOLOCH this and MOLOCH that, as he drives his diesel dick through history and messes us all up, it’s just standard issue eschatology schlock, that’s part of the point of the poem though, disjointing the specifically English language over and past and through its various levels of inanity, legalism and perverse vagueness through to a new horrific understanding about what ‘end times’ actually means for the people living through it, and you are among those people, and what the hell is this poem anyway (this last aside for my parents, who have long since given up on trying to understand what it is I’m babbling about and reached this question much earlier) – or work on my master grocery list, and I finally figured how I can get what my grocery list looks like in my head to my actual grocery list that I use every week and reinforces how I visualize and operate in the world, but I haven’t done it yet. So I have work to do to advance this project, which will assist me cognitively as my brain declines and I’m still shopping, and which may have applications for other seniors and TBI sufferers. (I certainly wasn’t able to find anything like it on line.) So yeah, projects, in order, depending on what I’m up for mood and skill wize.

Yup, I’m going to wander off and reconfigure my reality right now, be back in a day for an update or sooner if something interesting happens.

One last thing, the ‘writing light’ in the kitchen died and I asked for help from Jeff  (my shoulder’s frozen…. that was weird, realizing it) and he touched the apparently dead compact fluorescent and it illuminated and it made me think of pOp. Also Jeff is quietly amazing, the best kind.

pleasant day

Walk in the neighbourhood with Paul, walked the yard to pick up trash, a little bit of laundry, roasted chicken breasts with leftover veg, practice, working on The Dark Book, the new poem/apocalyptic scripture of MOLOCH. Unfortunately I didn’t get to sleep until after one am and it’s now 8:30 so up I git.

And I lied about talking about Supernatural’s unnatural death zero, no more, etc. At least it’s below the cut.

Continue reading pleasant day

Destiel round up (pretend this is a Private post)

sane people, pls leave – this is in response to Despair ep 18 of the last season of Supernatural.

Original creator of the show Eric Kripke (at least I think that’s who it is) with a rainbow flag and the word COPE:

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backstory for the above, fans who only like the relationship between the two Winchester brothers are called bibros. Having Cas (canonically his name is CASS but that’s not what we do in fandom, ha ha) an actual life partner – potentially or otherwise – is making them lose their cheese.

 

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Jesus Christ this above noted post made me laugh so fucking hard

the below-noted post IS IMMEDIATELY WHERE MY MIND WENT AFTER THE SHOW WAS OVER

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Yeah NO SHIT, love this callback, although Dean didn’t actually get enough time to say anything

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no, I really haven’t, because that’s the kind of love it is, and always has been represented that way, and fuck the haters

 

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now in the fandom they’re saying destiel is what makes Putin resign, which when you consider HOW MANY RUSSIAN FANS THERE ARE is quite possibly the funniest thing about this tempest in a teacup

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above is shown the catholic reaction….

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LOLOLOL this was the Friday after the show/election

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SPN fandom above is memeified in the Avengers universe. Cas disappears during the scene, but he’s already been resurrected three times, so…

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I think @solarbirdy’s comments on the above noted complete lack of reaction are best, but she’s a filker so I won’t reproduce her speech without permission

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In other words, this represents such an upgrade to the notion of queerbaiting they’ll have to throw out their previous thesis. Also, Tumblr as a social media platform was dying and the extra hits they got as a consequence of Supernatural 15/18 were substantial

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Destiel fans often refer to themselves as clowns.

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the above-noted isn’t exactly what happened either

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nope, not this either and anyone who DOES expect skin should probably give their good ol’ head a shake. I want A HUG FOR THE BOYS that means a little more than the ones they’ve given each other so far.

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EVERY G.D. WORD O’ THIS ABOVENOTED POST

palate cleanser

LOOK UPON THE WOMAN WHO SAVED THE WORLD, now we have to survive the next two months OH PS SHE’S OUT ABOUT BEING A SUPERNATURAL FAN but we do not know how she feels about destiel and I would very much like to think that she STANS.

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WELL I THOUGHT THAT WAS IT, BUT THERE’S ANOTHER CHASER FOR THAT SHOT

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JESUS CHRIST, THIS FANDOM

 

 

writing back to the world

Yes, there was an election. No, it isn’t settled. Even if the worst happens, the world survived before, and it will keep surviving. My story isn’t done, neither is yours.

This is a long boring text-heavy oversharing post, ya been told.

Continue reading writing back to the world

the wilds of Coquitlam

I wanted to just post the video of our trek yesterday. No comment, just the train wreck of ongoing wtfery.

Jeff said he wanted to drive somewhere for a client and I made a face. I know how terrible that part of town is (for driving, Coquitlam is quat nahss as far as greenery etc goes) and I wanted to help navigate, so I went in the car with Jeff and almost, but not quite, navigated us into a large scale portal of a Horror Dimension.

Jeff kiboshed the idea of sharing the footage with a right royal Kibosh, because essentially we didn’t do anything but swear at fate, the other drivers, and the signage.

Among other sweary things: the signage on Highway 1 as you drive just short of the Port Mann bridge. The signage as you come off 7B onto Lougheed, which just sucks in conventional terms; the signage that was COMPLETELY OBSCURED BY OVERGROWTH and it’s a fucking good thing I knew which way to direct Jeff to turn; THE FACT THAT NOT A SINGLE FUCKING PLACE OF BUSINESS ON LOUGHEED HIGHWAY BETWEEN THE 7B EXIT AND OXFORD ACTUALLY HAS ITS STREET NUMBER FACING THE ROADWAY.

The footage of us both cursing at all of this will be lost to history, and Jeff’s perfectly happy about that. The joint wail we let out when we saw the grown-over sign, though, that being lost to history mekketh me sad.

The client visit took about twenty minutes.

We solaced ourselves with Mickey D’s and Toim Tayeem.

Finding out that Phil’s ancestors were among the first to move to England – I would have bet money on that.

Mailed off another letter

One of the ways to fight anxiety is to think about other people, so I’m trying to write entertaining letters to relatives and friends.

Anyway, if you want a letter, private message me with your mailing address.

Katie dropped by for a visit. Alex was with Suzanne, Dax’s mum, and Katie had just dropped Paul off at the airport – he never, ever, tells me when he’s going to the US, it’s always been startling to me, no matter how many times I learn about it after he’s gone, which has literally been dozens of times, which just goes to show that I am a slow learner. He’s agreed to quarantine after he comes back, and if he misses his friends and girlfriend in the US who can blame him.

She said her car had a mind of its own and she ended up in my driveway. We had a very long and very necessary chat out on the deck. There was laughing, crying and swearing, and she is such a dear person to me. She was feeling a bit low, but she managed to cheer me up, and that was helpful.

Last night I had my first nightmare that I can remember in years. It was horrifying because my subconscious was saying that it’s better to be dead (or to kill someone else to spare them) than to go through whatever was happening (some unspecified apocalypse). I can’t actually say what it was about because the internet is forever, but let’s just say it was nauseating and disheartening and framed me as an entirely heartless and cruel person with no connection to the future of this earth.

And it was all so calm. HORRIBLE things were happening, and myself and my unnamed conspirator proceeded through our horrible response to them as if neither of us had a hair out of place or a care in the world.

Very slowly, as I realized what we had done, I decided to call the cops, and then I woke up.

 

Made chicken breasts, bok choi and onions in ginger and garlic, and green salad for supper last night. Practiced lots, still working on arrangements.

17080

user chewmynails posted this on reddit saying the MIL crocheted this

r/aww - My MIL crochet my cat her own couch

Speaking of kitties, Buster has been training HARD. He’s a good chonky boi.

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from @gabrielsherman on twitter

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This is quite the poem, eh? Inglorious in Excelsis by Brian Bilston

gluey day

I am making bread dough. I think I want home made cheese sticks. We’ll see what they turn into.

Load of laundry done; practicing done. Two songs descended and I don’t even want to deal with them. I’m used to crying while I’m writing songs but not this. The fucking pandemic is making me an emotional hole collector.

Right now I’m missing John so badly, for all the things he’d say and the songs he’d sing, and I tried to give myself a “Well life goes on” speech but that’s hard when I can still smell him in the room divider and his name is on the wall. And I miss Mike, and my parents with an everpresent longing, and I miss being able to feel like an actor in the world, and I miss thinking about what I’d do if I went back to school.

charming piece of BC twitter follows (they’re all fake accounts)

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there’s a thing going round twitter about the albums that came out the year you were born. Man I’m old.

fic 16197

Finally

The day is here for me to have my test. Whether I’m actually going to get it or not given the various fuckups is an interesting and as yet open question.

Read something on twitter this morning and I’m having to sit with my settler anger. Indigenous activist says that settlers ‘can’t decolonize anything’

and of course that’s why I have sixers do it.

Colonialism is a hell of a drug.

Someone I follow on twitter got a job. They’re the sole support for a disabled partner and I’ve already donated a few shekels to them so it is absolutely lovely news. Also, I’ve learned to hate the debt collection people in Austria thanks to them.

From @nelsonlflores on twitter

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I have returned from taking my test, I await with interest to see if I passed or failed, and I’m also having a colon cancer screening done this week but all I have to do is provide a teeny piece of poo for the health care system so I can manage that.

Did a small shop and some banking on the way home, and then took the bus; after all, it is international car free day.

much better aqi, all things considered

It’s dropped 20 points since 1 am (now 145 LATER AT 8:30 AM UP PAST 160 AGAIN), and should get within kissing distance of normal – under 40 – sometime by Friday.

Buster has been extremely variable about wanting to train. Some mornings he’s all over it, but the last couple of mornings he wants to just be handed treats, so I cut short the training this am after one treat and we’ll try again in the early afternoon. This morning first he huffed training and then he begged for it and we got three paw claps and a jump and chase and a run and chase in.

My experiment, stealing a cushion off one of the downstairs sofas and using it for a backboard, is a success – however finding a replacement pillow even at places like Bed Bath and Beyond that are supposed to specialize in shit like this has proven rather difficult. I will ask Paul to assist with cushion shopping today, then I can put the danged cushion back.

Jeff took me to breakfast at IHOP yesterday and I just ate what was left of the leftovers. We had the leftover sushi for supper last night as the folks kindly shared out leftovers from Paul’s bday.

Doctor’s office phoned me saying they wanted to schedule ‘a medical review with an RN’ and I told them to go fuck themselves until after the 22nd when I (hopefully) get my glucose tolerance test. What the hell is wrong with these people? Why do a medical review when the single most important piece of test data isn’t available? Anyway, I wasn’t as rude as I sound but I took no shit, I assure you.

The hot stone massage at Head to Toes day spa with Pauline was AMAZING, I’m still feeling comfort right into my bones.  I may book another one next month just to have something to look forward to. But I suppose I should probably wait at least that long to ensure I neither caught nor brought anything.

14,487

Review of day:

Didn’t drink enough water yesterday. It needs to be less than half tea, my liquid consumption. Did practice x 3 instruments; did walk 1.5 k, did empty the sink and fill the dishwasher; did not meditate or take my bp and pulseox; I did not work on a manuscript; I did take my pill and brush my hair and teeth; I did my shoulder exercises. No laundry yesterday or today; no osteofit, no dejunking yesterday.

french toast and bacon

Not exactly on the high blood pressure and kidney problems diet, but I will only have two pieces of bacon. In a few minutes we’ll take off for the store; Jeff will stay in the car and I’ll go do the shop, as per their current instructions – they only want one person per household…

Latest bp 157/87, not too bad. Nice walk back from the pharmacy yesterday – it was literally the only part of the day that wasn’t too smokey to be outside.

Two dozen deaths, minimum, from the wildfires, and it will be closer to a couple hundred by the time it’s all over.

I got 11/15 daily routine items taken care of yesterday, so even if I feel like I didn’t do much besides laze around and harvest squash (put them in a carryall LOL to carry them, otherwise you’re negotiating with a dozen verdant cannonballs) I did actually DO THINGS yesterday

et the littlest one last night as a bedtime snack, seeds and all, damn it was good

LATER ABOUT THE SQUASH two more of them found homes

13,359 words

The weeping and wailing about Supernatural ending continueth on twitter.