What a world

Gunshots at a MLB game; flooding in Germany so bad it looked like a tsunami came through the mountains; Myanmar in tatters as the junta ignores the populace and there’s no PPE or oxygen; Horgan the Organ ‘partners’ with Shell to make a climate change research institute less than two weeks after Lytton burns down; most of N SK is on fire; noted disability rights organizer kills herself in despair and the mainstream media interview her abuser as if there’s no evil connection between the two; Cheetos factory workers AREN’T ALLOWED TO STOP THE LINE when people die of heart attacks in the heat and are striking, so please don’t eat Frito-Lays or Pepsi products for the foreseeable future!; LAPD has today been firing ‘non-lethal’ rounds point blank into peaceful protesters; VPD is FINALLY investigating those two fucking pigs who arrested the Indigenous grandad and his granddaughter as they were about their legitimate business at a bank downtown; HARSHA WALIA WAS FORCED TO RESIGN FROM THE BCCLA i am SO FUCKING MAD ABOUT THIS the BCCLA will NEVER see another dime from me, they can kiss my ass, I can’t believe I marched in Pride with them witless mofos; and I got 700 karma points and my first Reddit gold and platinum for a comment I made about a women’s issue.

I’m still tired from the blood donation.


what happened to the doll?

She ends up finding her former owner, getting all her limbs ripped up/off, and becoming a talking head queen of the rats when her severed head is thrown into a tip.

Yeah, not a happy story. Much body horror and interpersonal rejection.

Unbelievably hot yesterday. Worse today. I have to go to the dentist and I just don’t know how I’m supposed to walk over there when it will be 40 degrees C on the way back. I’m scared, I literally think I’ll collapse if I have to walk in that heat.

I don’t feel like blogging

when that happens all I want to do is whine.

Whining is not attractive. Ranting is more attractive. Roar roar, let’s follow this fool off whatever rhetorical cliff is attached like an Ambrus sketch to the following: alas! alas! she said (picture a small porcelain doll, animated in dim natural light from two directions, flailing on a rag rug in a child’s bedroom) this means that I must come up with a topic! (montage of said porcelain doll, set to martial music, outlining something vague with a wavering stick on what appears to be the world’s smallest square sticky note, climbing up an expressionless and motionless one eyed teddy bear to deliver a rousing speech to the rest of the completely unresponsive toys, tossing a sticky-hand over to the door knob from the highest height close to the door that she can climb, with a book tied to her leg – the music shifts from martial to moody  – you hear a terrifying rip and the door has sprung open, but the porcelain doll has paid a terrible price and -music shifts to glass harmonica horror with processed bowed bass and stays like that for the duration- now she walks a-kilter like a zombie, even though she is not a zombie, and man, it does not do a damned thing for her and she was pretty scuffed up when she started and you’ve only seen her from behind since she made it through the door but now the POV swings round to the front and you realize she isn’t porcelain she’s some kind of icky bakelite in white people’s skin tone beige and her nose has chipped off from her fall from opening the door) for the life of me I can’t think of a topic.


oh FSM, Parking Goddess, anydeity on this frequency, aid me now and for all time to come https://newwestrecord.ca/local-news/opinion-someone-is-finally-trying-to-fix-this-gong-show-burnaby-new-west-intersection-3904159 YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND HOW BAD THIS INTERSECTION IS
Opinion: Someone is finally trying to fix this gong show Burnaby-New West intersection

1/ within the first 90 seconds of my brO having a dashcam, we watched a black suv go through this intersection southbound through a red light at 70 kph while stopped in the next lane over.

2/ there are three *heavily* trafficked driveways and two bus stops within metres of the intersection so you are continuously making evasive bumpercar/whackamole maneuvres with the most rancidly incompetent drivers in the lower mainland

3/ the advance green lights are wrongly bad and they should run all four ways, this is a busy intersection!!

4/ it’s at the bottom of a 150 foot elevation drop (over 6 intersections) people come screaming down that hill hoping to get through both the pedestrian crosswalk light which is two blocks away and the intersection itself, so drivers are routinely going 20 over the speed limit

5/ There’s a 7-11 + gas station on the corner and this weird fucked up fake lane that is basically how Mr. Audi and Ms. Accord get to know each other as one smashes the other trying to sneak around to the right while the other’s doing the same thing from the 7-11

6/ I’m not blaming the teens who go to the high school next to this intersection, they don’t usually seem too intent on throwing themselves under cars in my experience, but gawdam some of the wildest ad lib pedestrians on earth stroll adjacent to these crosswalks

6/ continued… I mean brO and I are happy if they make eye contact, mostly they don’t.

7/ every pole for a block around pleads for witnesses to accidents

8/ IT’S A SHARED JURISDICTION intersection. So the Burnaby RCMP (eye twitch) and the NWPD (shrug) get to share the duties when the blood/debris crosses the intersection. I don’t know how they figure out who does what but I’m sure it doesn’t make things sparklier

9./ I’d need a contour map and some dinky toys to demonstrate some of the ways in which momentum, gravity, common sense and, provisionally, space/time itself, fail to operate normally at this intersection, so please I beg you just take my word for it.

Further comments: I travel through this intersection an average of 4 times a week during the pandemic and more like 10 times otherwise. I live close enough that I once heard a collision there. This is on the bus route I mostly use.

So I read with interest that they intend to spend a quarter of a million dollars on this intersection, and this would be great except for one teensy problem. Not a single intersection ‘improvement’ I’ve seen in the last 20 years actually made things better.

brO and I are going to watch them spend a quarter mil to make it worse. The banging and construction delays will be horrific. and in the end…. I’m prepared to wager twenty bucks that it will be distinctly & measurably worse.

And I haven’t even MENTIONED the truck traffic, which is heavy and continuous during the day and steady at night because the biggest food storage depot (400 SQ METRES OF BUILDING and much more for truck parking and storage) in the lower mainland is a kilometre west.

goddamned tooths

The dentist was unhappy with the crown and now I have to wait another week, and what does THAT DO?

It means that I have to get a crown installed, vote in a by-election and finally wring an ADD meds scrip out of my doctor all in the same fucking day. I plan to drink heavily when it’s all over.

still covered in hives

I am miserably uncomfortable and I have absolutely no idea what’s triggering them.

It’s not as bad at night. It gets worse when I get up and put clothes on. I recently changed laundry detergent, so it’s a possibility in the hopper of tree pollen, cat dander and general porousness of the building envelope that we’re dealing with.

Anyway, off to the shower, maybe that’s all it will take. (wrong, the heat of the shower made it worse. WHAT IS IT? ALLERGIES? VIRAL? A NEW MIGRAINE SYMPTOM (I’VE BEEN GETTING TRIANGULAR RAINBOW DRAGONS FOR DAYS NOW) wat wat is it

Weather was SO GLORIOUS yesterday, we had a lovely walk in at Deer Lake. Paul is being rather stiff and formal with me as if he’s expecting me to outburst on him, but all I did yesterday was tell him that not putting the mask over his nose isn’t a good look.

The crows telling the raven to sod off was pretty funny.

The frogs were out but not talking.

We heard a waterfowl that we’ve never heard before, could have been a hooded merganser; they certainly appear in the park.

Katie took the day off yesterday, and I had a brief and bracing phone call with Keith when I tried to stealth-check up on her.

the violence

As much as I’d like to mourn the shooting victims in the US, I am much more concerned this morning about the absolute shambolic BC Public Health response. It’s as if, having fucked things up previously they no longer even have to make an effort to make sense or improve things. I am not disappointed, I am boiling over mad.

and from Toronto!:

As for the violence in various US cities, the violence of the oppressed cannot be compared to the violence of the oppressors. The fucking cops are taking money to hurt people, they’re professional torturers at this point.

Weather continues glorious.

I am still at a very low ebb, but my mood was improved greatly yesterday by a trip to the Glenburne dairy for an old fashioned malted milk. (I waited in the car). Jeff then took my advice to take the Gaglardi way home instead of straight back down Gilmore, and we hit all the lights on the way home, which given that it was rush hour, was kind of spectacular (I’ve grown facial hair, waiting for the light at Gaglardi and Lougheed). I saved the whipped cream off the top of it so I may have some coffee – the last of it as far as I can tell, since I gave the rest to the kids – later on today.

My mood is not improved by the constant smell of dead animal all over the house. I may flee the scene just to get away from it.

Upsun note: Slider and Gwenny are talking about what it takes to register a domestic partnership in MST country LOL.

Dennis Probst memorial service today. He was a blessing, the old dandelion-head. CT Scan tomorrow (if it isn’t cancelled, we’ll see). Ultrasound next month. Booster shot in August.

I made flower buns yesterday. Gotta do something with the chicken today.

Not much happening

Allergies are not great at the moment. Lovely weather, of course, but MAN ALIVE there’s a lot of pollen happening.

Another lovely letter in the mail yesterday, this one from Ontie Mary. I’m working on one to Dave D and then after that another letter to Jan M.

Third wave of COVID infections is engulfing this part of BC. DBH has pretty much blown through all her credibility after a solid start.

Injection site for AZ shot is FINALLY not swollen and itchy.

Spent an awful lot of the last two days sleeping, and not really being able to focus on anything at all when I was conscious, except a little food preparation. Three Cheese mac n cheese (MEDIUM CHEDDAR, HAVARTI AND FRESH PARMESAN) with fresh basil, capers and one teaspoon of chopped bacon. TOTALLY NOMS.

I have no urge to write, or practice any instruments, or move, and yet my mood is okay – I mean I don’t feel down or anything, just kinda immobile.

TODAY fart soup I mean lentil soup. Maybe. I feel a great pile of relaxation coming on.

End of Song a day run

I have about another forty songs to prep and record, and I’ve run out of both songs and energy. I’ll post them when I can and then put together a master post with all of the songs listed.

I lost a lot of recordings when I lost a hard drive, and I’ve written some stuff since, but as far as recordable tunes, the count is currently somewhere around 170. Not as good as I thought, but better than most, I imagine.

Current projects:

continuing to write letters (mailed two yesterday, received a MOST welcome letter from Lois, may her god continue to bless and keep her)

HOTM – just the ‘best roommate in the world section’ is ALREADY novel length – okay 47K words but damned close. It may end up being a novel all by itself. I am working on it.

Bih-bah the conlang

Tarot for Atheists

My sanity – which is, I’ll be candid, not good at the moment

Attempting to remove ableist language from my vocabulary. WOW OH WOW is that hard.


Started the Time Team rewatch. I’m marking down all the times there’s casual sexism or something out of character happens. If we eat Tim Horton’s while watching Time Team we eat the first e and call it Tim Team. Ha ha we’re so funny.

I’m sadly waiting for my mother to comment on the last stuff I sent her. I really shouldn’t bug her because she gave birth to me and helped me get old enough to go off on my own, but I have hopes anyway.

I am rapidly running out of pre-posted songs, but am waiting for the mental energy to do something about it. Posting all my songs has really put me in touch with how I am a really good songwriter and an absolutely crappy singer and instrumentalist, so my enthusiasm for the project has died almost completely. If you want me to keep going, and you’re not my mother, now would be a good time to tell me, because honestly? posterity would be better served by me shutting my mouth and just forwarding people sheet music that they can interpret however the hell they want. Let’s just say I am very heartily sick of the sound of my own voice. HA HA. Let the narcissism come down.

Piers Morgan is an oversensitive peckerhead with delusions of adequacy. His treatment of Meghan Markle is unconscionable. He’s acting like a spurned lover. What a fucking creep.

Called Prince Philip dying soon on the first, but he was ninety-nine, it wasn’t rocket science.

Seen on twitter from @raincoaster “A great day to cut COVID deniers out of your will” mmmm good thing I don’t have to.

I had a sincerely pointless interaction with a gay journalist this week. Telling a white Canadian editor that their platform isn’t doing enough to support Indigenous LGBTQ2S journalists in telling their own stories is — I guess — fucking pointless, but at least now I know and have the receipt.

After the pandemic is ‘officially’ over I’m still going to be wearing a cloth mask to shop, to any tourist trap that is likely to have recent travellers from respiratory illness hotspots or houses animals of any description, to travel on the ferry or through airports and via airplanes (if I ever fly again, a good question), in grocery stores and malls, to stand in line to renew my licence, to visit a doctor’s office, and go to a concert. I will be carrying my own sanitizer goo and a spare sealed medical mask at all times. I won’t be wearing them for walks outdoors

I freely admit that I did not stop going to restaurants during the pandemic. But I will definitely be ordering takeout and only going to restaurants that have really good ventilation and adequately pay their servers.

@AECheckly on twitter “Centering ourselves means that instead of truly listening to someone’s experience, we derail or challenge the conversation by sharing our own. This harmful refocusing is always unsolicited and is an attempt to protect our privilege and make ourselves feel comfortable.” This in response to a man saying that nobody can make him feel guilty about staring at an attractive woman.

Also, with respect to Indigenous and Black women I KEEP DOING THIS MYSELF and it’s A FAILING OF MORAL EMPATHY

Meanwhile in Brazil a dog walked into a vet’s office and collapsed. It had a cut in one paw and a tumor. The vet is treating it at no charge and will likely find a forever home for the animal. Is it my imagination or is the global intelligence level of ‘mute animals’ rising???

Buster caught a treat midair with one paw this morning and ate it without it ever touching the ground. I’m not going to tie myself in knots trying to describe it, but it was epic and I’m still not a hundred percent sure how he accomplished it.


my comment today on racism

a racist says I haven’t got a racist bone in my body and then drags tf out of Meghan Markle and I’m like “Remarkable how racists center racism as occurring in bones when it occurs in brains and behaviour. I wish they’d leave bones out of it, skeletons aren’t racist.”

In other news, my right knee is GIBBLED. I went for a walk with Paul yesterday. Picked up BBQ at Re-Up in the Quay, but it was a long wait for the food and they got the order wrong so I probably won’t do that again. Paul seems to be in pretty good shape, he was joking a lot.

Spoke briefly to Katie. I bought some silicone chewies for Alex, they should come the middle of March. They are in the shape of Creepers in Minecraft. Kids with anxiety can chew on them, instead of themselves; Alex is already chewing on bits of himself so externalizing it without hurting his teeth is kind of the background for this purchase.

Spoke briefly to Keith, he was in the middle of a gaming session with Katie’s Bf Mike.

Spoke briefly to my Mike, gave him soup after he said my last soup delivery saved his soul alive.

Walked at the Quay – saw a seal. Didn’t walk the whole distance because my knee crapped out and when I woke up this morning I flexed it and PAIN PAIN PAIN wowzers.

didn’t do a damned thing on my projects. Maybe today will be better.

Lungs and schnozz congested. I am so fracking tired of how every little tickle is IS IT THE LURGY am i GONNA DIE am i gonna KETCH IT two MINUTES BEFORE the freaking JAB IS AVAILABLE



not much to report

Bih-bah project continues. Advent calendar of Christmas carol parodies continues (the time to work on Christmas stuff is February – I will post them during Advent this year, and some of them are quite funny, so I hope you enjoy them – I did We Three Kings and I saw Three Ships this morning.) I have written about 350 words on Best Roommate since last report. I am working on a song with no name, but it’s about Vancouver, and the land ack is built into it, so I’m happy with it, also it’s on the ukelele and I hadn’t composed anything on the uke in ages, so that was good. I’m particularly liking the accompaniment, it’s not exactly unique but it’s distinctive.
I am possibly working on some more kidney grit, so no black tea for me for a while, and I should probbly lay off the almonds, but that frenz is la super hard to do when your buddy heaves two kilos of organic Australian almonds (plump, unblemished, like a lifestyle ad) onto your front steps thank you TOM!
KAOSSILATOR NOTES GAte 49, S61, 90 bpm, turn the volume up all the way, 5ths, C_; hold left thumb in bottom left corner until the gate arpeggiator drops tick tick tick percussion like noises into the mix and then slide your right index finger slowly back and forth along the bottom. Occasionally deke upwards for an other worldly yipping noise. At the end let go for the fade. Gives a very atmospheric creeping through a darkened building/alley/tunnel feel.

Waiting for a CT scan to find out if I really do have brain damage and how bad it is…. YUMMY. Not recommended.

“G-d made me trans for the same reason he made grapes but not wine and wheat but not bread. So that man may participate in the act of creation” -some wise Jewish trans person whose name I don’t remember – @zfreinstatler on twitter this morning

Fuck the deleted at Royal Columbian Hospital

this is a big jolly fuck you to the health records department at RCH who have now been holding up me getting the final administratium stone in place for treating a lifelong health condition
I call them, I call my Dr.’s office, I call them, I call my Dr.’s office, I call them, I call my Dr.’s office, and fuck them, seriously.
And this is why adults with ADD don’t get diagnosed and treated; you have to be a responsible adult with a support system and funny thing about that.
UPDATE JAN 29TH rrrffrrrrr it was actually the neurologist HASN’T READ IT YET so I now have spoken to everyone involved in this cluster barring the neuro and so it’s all HIS fault.

Officially a pensioner

As of this month I am collecting a pension. I certainly FEEL old enough to be collecting a pension, and I’m pleased and somewhat proud to have managed to get this old. THANKS FOR THE AWESOME EPIGENETICS FoLKS

Today I have a long, long to do list but I’ll keep it to myself, since I likely won’t get to half of it. Three letters stamped and ready to go, including an extra-long whiny one with bonus ART in it for mOm.

I think today I will be more household chore oriented and a little less on the creative side – wrote four soundtrack chunks yesterday with names like KOI POND IN RAIN, SUSPICIOUS FUNERAL MUSIC, TELECOM #2 and THE REALIZATION. If I can figure out how to record them – Anthony will likely help if I can’t arrange it – they will end up on this site in the fullnews (nice typo!!) of time.

Twitter this morning was so full of white people being assholes that I quit doomscrolling early to come here to complain.