still covered in hives

I am miserably uncomfortable and I have absolutely no idea what’s triggering them.

It’s not as bad at night. It gets worse when I get up and put clothes on. I recently changed laundry detergent, so it’s a possibility in the hopper of tree pollen, cat dander and general porousness of the building envelope that we’re dealing with.

Anyway, off to the shower, maybe that’s all it will take. (wrong, the heat of the shower made it worse. WHAT IS IT? ALLERGIES? VIRAL? A NEW MIGRAINE SYMPTOM (I’VE BEEN GETTING TRIANGULAR RAINBOW DRAGONS FOR DAYS NOW) wat wat is it

Weather was SO GLORIOUS yesterday, we had a lovely walk in at Deer Lake. Paul is being rather stiff and formal with me as if he’s expecting me to outburst on him, but all I did yesterday was tell him that not putting the mask over his nose isn’t a good look.

The crows telling the raven to sod off was pretty funny.

The frogs were out but not talking.

We heard a waterfowl that we’ve never heard before, could have been a hooded merganser; they certainly appear in the park.

Katie took the day off yesterday, and I had a brief and bracing phone call with Keith when I tried to stealth-check up on her.

the violence

As much as I’d like to mourn the shooting victims in the US, I am much more concerned this morning about the absolute shambolic BC Public Health response. It’s as if, having fucked things up previously they no longer even have to make an effort to make sense or improve things. I am not disappointed, I am boiling over mad.

and from Toronto!:

As for the violence in various US cities, the violence of the oppressed cannot be compared to the violence of the oppressors. The fucking cops are taking money to hurt people, they’re professional torturers at this point.

Weather continues glorious.

I am still at a very low ebb, but my mood was improved greatly yesterday by a trip to the Glenburne dairy for an old fashioned malted milk. (I waited in the car). Jeff then took my advice to take the Gaglardi way home instead of straight back down Gilmore, and we hit all the lights on the way home, which given that it was rush hour, was kind of spectacular (I’ve grown facial hair, waiting for the light at Gaglardi and Lougheed). I saved the whipped cream off the top of it so I may have some coffee – the last of it as far as I can tell, since I gave the rest to the kids – later on today.

My mood is not improved by the constant smell of dead animal all over the house. I may flee the scene just to get away from it.

Upsun note: Slider and Gwenny are talking about what it takes to register a domestic partnership in MST country LOL.

Dennis Probst memorial service today. He was a blessing, the old dandelion-head. CT Scan tomorrow (if it isn’t cancelled, we’ll see). Ultrasound next month. Booster shot in August.

I made flower buns yesterday. Gotta do something with the chicken today.

Not much happening

Allergies are not great at the moment. Lovely weather, of course, but MAN ALIVE there’s a lot of pollen happening.

Another lovely letter in the mail yesterday, this one from Ontie Mary. I’m working on one to Dave D and then after that another letter to Jan M.

Third wave of COVID infections is engulfing this part of BC. DBH has pretty much blown through all her credibility after a solid start.

Injection site for AZ shot is FINALLY not swollen and itchy.

Spent an awful lot of the last two days sleeping, and not really being able to focus on anything at all when I was conscious, except a little food preparation. Three Cheese mac n cheese (MEDIUM CHEDDAR, HAVARTI AND FRESH PARMESAN) with fresh basil, capers and one teaspoon of chopped bacon. TOTALLY NOMS.

I have no urge to write, or practice any instruments, or move, and yet my mood is okay – I mean I don’t feel down or anything, just kinda immobile.

TODAY fart soup I mean lentil soup. Maybe. I feel a great pile of relaxation coming on.

End of Song a day run

I have about another forty songs to prep and record, and I’ve run out of both songs and energy. I’ll post them when I can and then put together a master post with all of the songs listed.

I lost a lot of recordings when I lost a hard drive, and I’ve written some stuff since, but as far as recordable tunes, the count is currently somewhere around 170. Not as good as I thought, but better than most, I imagine.

Current projects:

continuing to write letters (mailed two yesterday, received a MOST welcome letter from Lois, may her god continue to bless and keep her)

HOTM – just the ‘best roommate in the world section’ is ALREADY novel length – okay 47K words but damned close. It may end up being a novel all by itself. I am working on it.

Bih-bah the conlang

Tarot for Atheists

My sanity – which is, I’ll be candid, not good at the moment

Attempting to remove ableist language from my vocabulary. WOW OH WOW is that hard.

various

Started the Time Team rewatch. I’m marking down all the times there’s casual sexism or something out of character happens. If we eat Tim Horton’s while watching Time Team we eat the first e and call it Tim Team. Ha ha we’re so funny.

I’m sadly waiting for my mother to comment on the last stuff I sent her. I really shouldn’t bug her because she gave birth to me and helped me get old enough to go off on my own, but I have hopes anyway.

I am rapidly running out of pre-posted songs, but am waiting for the mental energy to do something about it. Posting all my songs has really put me in touch with how I am a really good songwriter and an absolutely crappy singer and instrumentalist, so my enthusiasm for the project has died almost completely. If you want me to keep going, and you’re not my mother, now would be a good time to tell me, because honestly? posterity would be better served by me shutting my mouth and just forwarding people sheet music that they can interpret however the hell they want. Let’s just say I am very heartily sick of the sound of my own voice. HA HA. Let the narcissism come down.

Piers Morgan is an oversensitive peckerhead with delusions of adequacy. His treatment of Meghan Markle is unconscionable. He’s acting like a spurned lover. What a fucking creep.

Called Prince Philip dying soon on the first, but he was ninety-nine, it wasn’t rocket science.

Seen on twitter from @raincoaster “A great day to cut COVID deniers out of your will” mmmm good thing I don’t have to.

I had a sincerely pointless interaction with a gay journalist this week. Telling a white Canadian editor that their platform isn’t doing enough to support Indigenous LGBTQ2S journalists in telling their own stories is — I guess — fucking pointless, but at least now I know and have the receipt.

After the pandemic is ‘officially’ over I’m still going to be wearing a cloth mask to shop, to any tourist trap that is likely to have recent travellers from respiratory illness hotspots or houses animals of any description, to travel on the ferry or through airports and via airplanes (if I ever fly again, a good question), in grocery stores and malls, to stand in line to renew my licence, to visit a doctor’s office, and go to a concert. I will be carrying my own sanitizer goo and a spare sealed medical mask at all times. I won’t be wearing them for walks outdoors

I freely admit that I did not stop going to restaurants during the pandemic. But I will definitely be ordering takeout and only going to restaurants that have really good ventilation and adequately pay their servers.

@AECheckly on twitter “Centering ourselves means that instead of truly listening to someone’s experience, we derail or challenge the conversation by sharing our own. This harmful refocusing is always unsolicited and is an attempt to protect our privilege and make ourselves feel comfortable.” This in response to a man saying that nobody can make him feel guilty about staring at an attractive woman.

Also, with respect to Indigenous and Black women I KEEP DOING THIS MYSELF and it’s A FAILING OF MORAL EMPATHY

Meanwhile in Brazil a dog walked into a vet’s office and collapsed. It had a cut in one paw and a tumor. The vet is treating it at no charge and will likely find a forever home for the animal. Is it my imagination or is the global intelligence level of ‘mute animals’ rising???

Buster caught a treat midair with one paw this morning and ate it without it ever touching the ground. I’m not going to tie myself in knots trying to describe it, but it was epic and I’m still not a hundred percent sure how he accomplished it.

 

my comment today on racism

a racist says I haven’t got a racist bone in my body and then drags tf out of Meghan Markle and I’m like “Remarkable how racists center racism as occurring in bones when it occurs in brains and behaviour. I wish they’d leave bones out of it, skeletons aren’t racist.”

In other news, my right knee is GIBBLED. I went for a walk with Paul yesterday. Picked up BBQ at Re-Up in the Quay, but it was a long wait for the food and they got the order wrong so I probably won’t do that again. Paul seems to be in pretty good shape, he was joking a lot.

Spoke briefly to Katie. I bought some silicone chewies for Alex, they should come the middle of March. They are in the shape of Creepers in Minecraft. Kids with anxiety can chew on them, instead of themselves; Alex is already chewing on bits of himself so externalizing it without hurting his teeth is kind of the background for this purchase.

Spoke briefly to Keith, he was in the middle of a gaming session with Katie’s Bf Mike.

Spoke briefly to my Mike, gave him soup after he said my last soup delivery saved his soul alive.

Walked at the Quay – saw a seal. Didn’t walk the whole distance because my knee crapped out and when I woke up this morning I flexed it and PAIN PAIN PAIN wowzers.

didn’t do a damned thing on my projects. Maybe today will be better.

Lungs and schnozz congested. I am so fracking tired of how every little tickle is IS IT THE LURGY am i GONNA DIE am i gonna KETCH IT two MINUTES BEFORE the freaking JAB IS AVAILABLE

 

 

not much to report

Bih-bah project continues. Advent calendar of Christmas carol parodies continues (the time to work on Christmas stuff is February – I will post them during Advent this year, and some of them are quite funny, so I hope you enjoy them – I did We Three Kings and I saw Three Ships this morning.) I have written about 350 words on Best Roommate since last report. I am working on a song with no name, but it’s about Vancouver, and the land ack is built into it, so I’m happy with it, also it’s on the ukelele and I hadn’t composed anything on the uke in ages, so that was good. I’m particularly liking the accompaniment, it’s not exactly unique but it’s distinctive.
I am possibly working on some more kidney grit, so no black tea for me for a while, and I should probbly lay off the almonds, but that frenz is la super hard to do when your buddy heaves two kilos of organic Australian almonds (plump, unblemished, like a lifestyle ad) onto your front steps thank you TOM!
KAOSSILATOR NOTES GAte 49, S61, 90 bpm, turn the volume up all the way, 5ths, C_; hold left thumb in bottom left corner until the gate arpeggiator drops tick tick tick percussion like noises into the mix and then slide your right index finger slowly back and forth along the bottom. Occasionally deke upwards for an other worldly yipping noise. At the end let go for the fade. Gives a very atmospheric creeping through a darkened building/alley/tunnel feel.

Waiting for a CT scan to find out if I really do have brain damage and how bad it is…. YUMMY. Not recommended.

“G-d made me trans for the same reason he made grapes but not wine and wheat but not bread. So that man may participate in the act of creation” -some wise Jewish trans person whose name I don’t remember – @zfreinstatler on twitter this morning

Fuck the deleted at Royal Columbian Hospital

this is a big jolly fuck you to the health records department at RCH who have now been holding up me getting the final administratium stone in place for treating a lifelong health condition
 
WHY YOU HAVE TO MAKE THIS SO HARD
I call them, I call my Dr.’s office, I call them, I call my Dr.’s office, I call them, I call my Dr.’s office, and fuck them, seriously.
And this is why adults with ADD don’t get diagnosed and treated; you have to be a responsible adult with a support system and funny thing about that.
UPDATE JAN 29TH rrrffrrrrr it was actually the neurologist HASN’T READ IT YET so I now have spoken to everyone involved in this cluster barring the neuro and so it’s all HIS fault.

Officially a pensioner

As of this month I am collecting a pension. I certainly FEEL old enough to be collecting a pension, and I’m pleased and somewhat proud to have managed to get this old. THANKS FOR THE AWESOME EPIGENETICS FoLKS

Today I have a long, long to do list but I’ll keep it to myself, since I likely won’t get to half of it. Three letters stamped and ready to go, including an extra-long whiny one with bonus ART in it for mOm.

I think today I will be more household chore oriented and a little less on the creative side – wrote four soundtrack chunks yesterday with names like KOI POND IN RAIN, SUSPICIOUS FUNERAL MUSIC, TELECOM #2 and THE REALIZATION. If I can figure out how to record them – Anthony will likely help if I can’t arrange it – they will end up on this site in the fullnews (nice typo!!) of time.

Twitter this morning was so full of white people being assholes that I quit doomscrolling early to come here to complain.

I will not be buying this software today

open this image in a new screen to embiggen

When you go to the checkout (SchedulePress individual, on sale for $39 now!) and this appears, do you back away slow? or do you back away fast, take a snapshot, and then send it to customer support because you’re a dirty great cow!?

Yes, I went for option 2. (Later, no, I didn’t bother. My classic laziness reasserted itself.)

I guess I AM REALLY PISSED OFF about how within two seconds of my having installed it they were bugging me to review it. SO I DID I gave it a good review, not five stars because I haven’t used it all, but it looked good so…

Now every other day I’m being asked to review the software, and every other day I type in “I already reviewed it,” so

candidly

I think this is the kind of thing I’m allowed to whine about.

And since the iteration I have is free, I need to find another kind of software. brO it was a great suggestion and I was using it, but this is… suboptimal

Moving day

moving day

moving day

if you can’t pay the rent you’ll have to live out in a tent because it’s

moo

ha oo

ha oo-ving day

Katie rented the truck for today and goes to pick it up at 10 am; I’ll go over to Planet Bachelor this forenoon and help out how I can. Jeff and I are so glad we’re not moving right now it’s quite remarkable.

Here is a lovely poem, with some context.

9,189 9443 words

As we come up on the Inauguration I find myself more and more frightened. I tell myself that Trmp and his people are too stupid to manage an insurrection, but it’s really the grift that’s the point, but I’m still afraid of good people dying, and the number of people in Canada who feel the same way as the Trumpites is huge, and this is a long term problem that will not go away.

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Cartoon of a donkey and an elephant. In the first frame Donkey’s placard reads UNITY and the Elephant’s F*** YOUR FEELINGS. The second frame the donkey’s placard is ACCOUNTABILITY and the elephant’s now covered in rainbows and butterflies, says UNITY.  NICK ANDERSON A RÉALISÉ CE DESSIN

Two Daves

Two letters written but not posted today; it’s a Two Dave day.

Jeff’s just asked me to go downstairs and watch a Time Team. Hope it’s something Saxon or Roman. L8r Nope, medieval and Tudor. But really interesting if you’re crazy about remodelling castles for successive waves of improvements in warfare, boom goes the gunpowder.

Alex was here recently and I’m just remembering him being happy about getting a tube shot on the Xenon game and it made me happy in consequence.

Buster was past damp into dripping wet, and filthy when he came back in this morning…. must be horrible to have to clean that crap off with your teeth and mouth blech.

Indian food delivered last night. I was very happy with the quality and quantity for the price. It’s a new place (8 months?)  that does pizza and Desi food Pasifika style, which is like, so Vancouver, it hurts.

Chuck Yeager, RIP. His autobiography is most entertaining.

Letter from Onty Mary, and I’m so glad she enjoyed the paper art I put in with a recent letter, that was cheering.

Today has been set aside for One Grim Task. I do not want this task. I do not want the cascade of tasks that will flow from this One Grim Task. I AM DISGUST, SON.

It’s 10:20 in the morning and I am still not nerved up for this gd task. I am actually hitting the old moral GPS for a recalc from my new position and fuck me if it’s not taking a bit longer than any reasonable person might expect. What is it that a reasonable person following Stoic principles might expect? I said I’d write first PHEW AN OUT, I HAVE AN OUT.

With that I must now turn my attention to the real writing I need to do today, otherwise known as Quarantine Porn. And that works whether I’m talking about the UPSUN universe or my rapidly-winding-down interest in writing porny Supernatural fanfic. (Not all of it’s porn, some of it’s just fluff.)

And if I’m not going to write that, I have to go back out into the kitchen and either work some more on The Dark Book – current section is “the Calendar” and it’s fucking MOLOCH this and MOLOCH that, as he drives his diesel dick through history and messes us all up, it’s just standard issue eschatology schlock, that’s part of the point of the poem though, disjointing the specifically English language over and past and through its various levels of inanity, legalism and perverse vagueness through to a new horrific understanding about what ‘end times’ actually means for the people living through it, and you are among those people, and what the hell is this poem anyway (this last aside for my parents, who have long since given up on trying to understand what it is I’m babbling about and reached this question much earlier) – or work on my master grocery list, and I finally figured how I can get what my grocery list looks like in my head to my actual grocery list that I use every week and reinforces how I visualize and operate in the world, but I haven’t done it yet. So I have work to do to advance this project, which will assist me cognitively as my brain declines and I’m still shopping, and which may have applications for other seniors and TBI sufferers. (I certainly wasn’t able to find anything like it on line.) So yeah, projects, in order, depending on what I’m up for mood and skill wize.

Yup, I’m going to wander off and reconfigure my reality right now, be back in a day for an update or sooner if something interesting happens.

One last thing, the ‘writing light’ in the kitchen died and I asked for help from Jeff  (my shoulder’s frozen…. that was weird, realizing it) and he touched the apparently dead compact fluorescent and it illuminated and it made me think of pOp. Also Jeff is quietly amazing, the best kind.

pleasant day

Walk in the neighbourhood with Paul, walked the yard to pick up trash, a little bit of laundry, roasted chicken breasts with leftover veg, practice, working on The Dark Book, the new poem/apocalyptic scripture of MOLOCH. Unfortunately I didn’t get to sleep until after one am and it’s now 8:30 so up I git.

And I lied about talking about Supernatural’s unnatural death zero, no more, etc. At least it’s below the cut.

Continue reading pleasant day

Destiel round up (pretend this is a Private post)

sane people, pls leave – this is in response to Despair ep 18 of the last season of Supernatural.

Original creator of the show Eric Kripke (at least I think that’s who it is) with a rainbow flag and the word COPE:

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backstory for the above, fans who only like the relationship between the two Winchester brothers are called bibros. Having Cas (canonically his name is CASS but that’s not what we do in fandom, ha ha) an actual life partner – potentially or otherwise – is making them lose their cheese.

 

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Jesus Christ this above noted post made me laugh so fucking hard

the below-noted post IS IMMEDIATELY WHERE MY MIND WENT AFTER THE SHOW WAS OVER

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Yeah NO SHIT, love this callback, although Dean didn’t actually get enough time to say anything

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no, I really haven’t, because that’s the kind of love it is, and always has been represented that way, and fuck the haters

 

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now in the fandom they’re saying destiel is what makes Putin resign, which when you consider HOW MANY RUSSIAN FANS THERE ARE is quite possibly the funniest thing about this tempest in a teacup

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above is shown the catholic reaction….

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LOLOLOL this was the Friday after the show/election

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SPN fandom above is memeified in the Avengers universe. Cas disappears during the scene, but he’s already been resurrected three times, so…

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I think @solarbirdy’s comments on the above noted complete lack of reaction are best, but she’s a filker so I won’t reproduce her speech without permission

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In other words, this represents such an upgrade to the notion of queerbaiting they’ll have to throw out their previous thesis. Also, Tumblr as a social media platform was dying and the extra hits they got as a consequence of Supernatural 15/18 were substantial

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Destiel fans often refer to themselves as clowns.

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the above-noted isn’t exactly what happened either

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nope, not this either and anyone who DOES expect skin should probably give their good ol’ head a shake. I want A HUG FOR THE BOYS that means a little more than the ones they’ve given each other so far.

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EVERY G.D. WORD O’ THIS ABOVENOTED POST

palate cleanser

LOOK UPON THE WOMAN WHO SAVED THE WORLD, now we have to survive the next two months OH PS SHE’S OUT ABOUT BEING A SUPERNATURAL FAN but we do not know how she feels about destiel and I would very much like to think that she STANS.

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WELL I THOUGHT THAT WAS IT, BUT THERE’S ANOTHER CHASER FOR THAT SHOT

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JESUS CHRIST, THIS FANDOM