Settler words&music in S'ólh Téméxw, (leanpub.com/upsun) living where privilege meets precarity in MST country. she/her/they———– Novels: Midnite Moving Co., Upsun; Sweep Off Those Waves coming soon, Hair Sinister after that. —Restore All Indigenous Lands!
When I’m the one telling the joke. Finally, a good use for theists – guinea pigs.
Now, I guess I’m going to go the long way ’round, about this whole religion vs. atheism thing. After the cut, more about religion and atheism. But just think, if it wasn’t for the many sacrifices of religious people, how much worse medicine would be.
Little Miss Margot
And all I can think of is that spacebat.com is available for $500 US.
Now I know I’m at the bottom of the internet…. but as I was reading it I thought, “I do that. It’s called songwriting.” Half a dozen times in my life I’ve predicted what was going to happen in a song. I will write a song about a hoped for event or individual, and several years or months later, boom. Did I ‘sing the world into being’ or did I just think about what I wanted? I wrote Miss Manners has her say about a specific situation and … well let’s just say the song was a spectacular success. Many, many times in my life I’ve known what was going to happen next, not because I wanted it to happen (some of the things were bad) but because thought about it and I prepared for it mentally and so when the question arises I am the crazy woman who actually thought about it in advance.
This is what is making the next part of my life so hard in my own mind. I know what is going to happen next, and I know how to prepare for it, but I’m old and fat and tired and I don’t want to. I want to pretend I haven’t known for years that a global crash was coming. That it’s going to get worse. That we will all be affected. That people I love will be hurt. That lives will be stunted. That people will die. That ethnic and sectarian violence will blast through every aspect of human life; Archduke Ferdinand is walking around right now and his murderer is too and we don’t know where they will come together in blood and shrapnel and blow the world into another war. Every day I get up and look at the mountains and wonder how much longer I’ll be here. I wonder how much longer I’ll live with hot water, the internet, the organic coffee, the company cafeteria, the job, the sushi. I wonder how many people I’ll be living with, if I’ll ever own my own home again, if I will ever have grandchildren, and who I should adopt if I don’t. I wonder if I’ll ever own another pet.
Having said all this, I still think love is more important, so I guess that’s what I’d prefer to try to get ready for. I believe I will have to work on my luck. But right now I’m all sad face about how I would like to wind down from all of life and just think and be and sing and create, and not worry, when worry seems to be my only friend and constant companion. If I really want love I have to quit worrying by sheer force of will – or at least set it aside for a moment – and get the hell out of the house, and I shouldn’t need an article on the internet to tell me so….
I own the matching t-shirt. I am amused that something that’s in my closet would show up on boingboing.
David JD called last night, long distance. I told him he should meet Doug, who just moved to Toronto and will probably be looking for people to go to concerts with. Me and my meddling. It was good to hear his voice.
I am still very pleased with my haircut, but this morning I will subject it to the rigours of a washing and see what happens.
My current plan is to go to a folksinging event tonight. We shall see.
Although I’m very bossy around my intimates, I’m pretty much a sheep when it comes to other people, and so it is with great happiness that I announce that I was assertive recently, and it kinda worked out to my benefit. I didn’t think my vacation entitlement was set properly, so I looked into it. To put it more concretely, my vacation balance for the rest of the year went from 88 to 144 hours. I’ve had people tell me I should go after my previous balance. I could. I’m not going to. To get something annoying fixed so fast is great. There was no dispute about who was right or how to fix it. Anything else would be, especially considering the hours I’ve spent in the caf when I should have been upstairs working, just not appropriate.
Recently I have changed my work attitude so that I wander around less and spend only the allotted time in the cafeteria. I still do wander around, but usually in the late afternoon and not so much. Fewer massages :(.