abba antiqua (Dancing Queen on an elderly organ)

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the absolutely fabulous Elise Matthiesen says


Sometimes anger will give you enough traction to make it through whatever lousy situation you’re in, whether that situation involves self-harm or other people telling you that you don’t exist. Anger often has some collateral damage, though. It’s usually not a precision tool.

random pics


I miss that shirt. That’s me at a zombie walk eleven years ago. You can see how I’m dyeing my hair with Garnier 60 at that time.

I prefer my hair long, but apparently I’m going to breakfast with Katie and then she’s going to trim my hair; it was perfectly well behaved until about two weeks ago when it started exploding into split ends and becoming quite rude when I was brushing it. It’s 24 inches long! it’s the longest it’s been since I was a girl, and possibly ever.

This is the image my current twitter avatar is from. Isn’t amazing how the triangle in the middle looks deliberate? It wasn’t. It was a spectacular batch of biscotti, I must say.

This also (trimmed) was my avatar for a while. Those are some SRSLY UGGLY TIDDIES lady. Note across the top all of my interests, destiel, clothing, design, Social media tips, Feminism



a very old pic of the kids


No MMCo today

Jeff and I hosted Paul’s birthday last night. I got tired and went to bed at nine (folks came by at two, which is fine, because the Alex was one of them.) Also that might have something to do with the fact I was up at 2 am YESterday too.

Watching Paul with Alex. Alex pretends to feed him chili, Paul pretends to eat it, the two of them laugh like drains. This went on for about ten minutes.  I got one decent pic, which mOm already has.  He’s laughing so hard his face is almost blurry.

Alex refers to himself as Ack. This is charming. He is now speaking in perfectly intelligible sentences of two or three or four or even five words. Then the next thing he says is gibberish, right about the time you were thinking of boasting.

Nita, Keith, Alex, Katie, Peggy and Tom, Mike and Cassidy and Rob Warner all came by.   Plus Cassidy gave preserves to Paul which he will enjoy mightily.  Her southern rellies put magic in that woman’s kitchen….NOM.

Alex on his belly watching Jeff fix the deck with a screwdriver, and calling him Unca Jeff quite clearly. Playing with the hose and running all over the yard. Playing with the posture ball.

He was so busy he never even got to play on the pinballs!

Extra special hugs to cousin Lindsay for singing happy birthday to her uncle! That was very cheering.

Happy people eating chili. I made vegan chili and I’m glad, I tell you.

Much very good beer including Dageraad.

Heart full of gratitude, mind full of I HAZ NOT ENOUGH SLEEP.

Thus the pause today on the writing.  Back tomorrow, have no fear.


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Working on songs

I have found (I think) most of the songs I printed out before my hard drive died, and am now going to put them in alpha order and scan the ones I don’t have digitally.

Sisyphus is done, and I also turned it into an MP3 and shipped it to mOm. As a song it’s quite fast; as a repurposed, slowed down, dropped more than an octave piece of soundtrack it’s actually very cool.

I need to do a lot more dejunking. I finally freed up the guest room, which was a staging area for clean clothes, and I hung everything, which would help if I didn’t keep stuffing my room with things that don’t belong in the rest of the house but have no appropriate storage.  In the end, apart from kitchen and bathroom stuff, I hope to be able to get everything into one room; that’s the desired end state as it’s obvious I won’t be living in this house for the rest of my life although far from obvious when I’ll move.

Tomorrow night it’s Theology Pub!  I will be taking a friend to supper and then hanging out afterwards; I wouldn’t miss it as it is at the Heritage Grill and their back room is a treat.

Cpap last night.  No writing.  My mood is very dark and angry, which is great when you’re writing dark and angry scenes, and not so good when you’re trying to do the sf equivalent of the St. Crispin’s Day speech.  I keep losing the thread after a few paras.  Cazart.

Keith came by yesterday but I was still feeling very wobbly so I didn’t hang out with him much.  I ate the burger he brought me though!

Well, I suppose it’s time to shower and ingest vitamins and painkillers, drink some coffee and suchlike.

Katie is coming over on Friday to do some recording.  Blink!  She wants to do an album of songs for Alex for when she’s not around.  I personally think it will make him cry harder, once he figures out not to believe the lie that she’s there and singing, but what the heck. I’ll try anything that doesn’t involve running.  When I was rolling over in bed last night my pelvic joints made so much noise you could probably hear them across the room.

My day so far

I’ve climbed back on the writing horse, but since it’s edits I can’t really say OH I WROTE THIS MUCH TODAY.  It’s going well.  I have to figure out how to represent targets though.  Manuscript pages edited?  Dunno, that seems most likely.

I baked bacon for BLTs and made up ingredients so they are ready to go.

I watched the last Hobbit movie.  It was quite well done, although purists will be shuddering from head to foot for the duration.  I am not a purist.

I went for a walk in the predawn murk and fetched cream for coffee and milk for tea, to keep that writer’s support of caffeine flowing.

Poor Hannah, the gal who was supposed to help yesterday, was sick. I was sick all the bloody time when I was her age.  Now I literally cannot remember the last time I had anything resembling a cold or flu; how much I’m washing my hands might have something to do with that.

So many people, including the visitors from last week, volunteered that it made life much easier; the soup lunch is always quite chaotic, and then there was a business meeting at the end of it that I was just as happy to stay out of. I had Peggy’s turkey soup.  It was quite yummy.

I wore my brown snowflake motif pj’s and my steampunk hat, and was complimented.  Seriously. By everybody from Jane (who has an identical set in purple, it’s like she’s my time twin or something) to the minister, who cracked up and then told me she admired my sense of style.  The only places in the world that make me feel anything approaching the same level of acceptance, in order of closeness, Mike’s place, Planet Bachelor (but only when Janice isn’t there…. ha ha), Tom and Peggy’s, my fOlks’, Conflikt and Polycamp. I am a lucky hound, f’sure.

I told Rob to invite himself to supper sometime.  He was happy to hear it.

I’m selling printer ink on Craigslist – buyer is supposed to show up tonight around supper.  There’s nothing like buying $75 of ink and having the fucking printer promptly quit.  I’m letting it go for cheap just to get it out of the house.

Sue drove me home again, home again, and then off to an audition.  I hope I’m like her in 18 years!!

Katie didn’t come to church but she just posted that Alex rolled from his back to his tummy.  I wonder if and when he’s going to start crawling.

Margot stared me into throwing a treat to her this morning.  I can’t wait for Buster to get fixed, he’s so lively, even with the cone of shame, that it’s quite exhausting for her.

I dejunked my phone this morning.  I took out a hundred phone numbers, mostly for the café, which, duh, I no longer need, and 1.2 gigs of crapware.  Go me.

I got enough sleep last night! I went to bed at 8 pm and woke up at 5, which is wonderful.

Here are the cinnamon buns I made yesterday.




Round up

Now that is a very nice use of the gif format.

I haven’t seen Alexander yet.  Katie called yesterday and she’ll call me when she’s ready to receive visitors at home.

This infographic on prayer made me alternately very uncomfortable and amused.  As an atheist, I can’t separate prayer from ‘wishing so hard that you’re practically grunting so that an imaginary being of its infinite kindness rearranges causality and the laws of physics for your personal benefit’.  As a church lady, I have to say I understand the benefit of GROUP prayer, which is a form of prosocial entrainment.  Personal prayer, the petitioning kind unencumbered by meditation or humility, is just plain gross.

Somebody on Reddit said that Gilbert Gottfried and Fran Drescher “should have children. The marines could use them to clear public areas.”

Stop motion parkour fight. I laughed out loud watching this.

The pet relationship is very important to humans and now of course we have the science to prove it.

Dealing with bullies changes with the technology. Professors deal with bad reviews.

Am I jealous because the last time I was catcalled I was 36?  No, it’s one of the best damned things about getting older.

Gosh, if only dealing with conspiracy nuts was this easy. Cause it really isn’t.

Farmers Market

After five years we’ve finally gotten to the Burnaby Farmers market.

The radishes are so yummy and crunchily perfect. We came away with pork chops, potatoes, blueberry pie, radishes, carrots, artisanal chocolate (lemon basil OMnomG), snickerdoodles and egg bread. Brilliant, brilliant sunny day in the lower mainland, full of wonderful things to do.

Iran and Argentina are going at it for the World Cup; there was a hilarious joke on the internet this morning which I repeat here for your amusement; “What’s the difference between England and a tea bag?”  “?” “The tea bag stays in the Cup longer.”  Seeing has how my grandad played for the Sons of England futbol club in Saskatoon back in the day, I should prob’ly have more respect.  But no, I really don’t.

It is a strikingly gorgeous day.  I am still feeling the effects of Keith coming over here and helping with the lawn, because a) he just melted me with maternal pride, and b) it really needed to be done and c) I did the weed whipping and my shoulder hurt afterwards but more in a “Ha you used it” not “OMG I’m dying” kinda way.

Dog listens to music.

The wit and wisdom of imaginary creatures


In this case, Raylan Givens.

I don’t feel very well so I’ll be sticking close to home today. Yesterday I went to physio and walked back with what felt like (and fell onto the ground.. twice..) 30 pounds of groceries.  But it was good to have fresh veggies and oddly nothing got broken or smashed.

I have learned my memory is crappy and I’m glad, I tell you.  But even people with good memories make stuff up.

Physio and carrots

Physio kicked my ass this morning.  My flexibility was deemed excellent and worthy of comment, but my lack of strength was considered troubling.  Of course.  At least I am well enough to start swimming again.

I am showing the cafe tonight, or so I fondly hope, wish me luck.

Keith dropped by last night, it was lovely to see him.

400 words on T4A yesterday.

I picked some organic carrots for snax…. they were yummy.  It’s amazing how fast those suckers disappear when they are so slender and fresh.

Hot sauce!

Pugs for Halloween.

Incremental progress

Good news first, I have been asked to come in and talk to a recruiter this afternoon.  This is the closest I’ve gotten to genuine job hunting activity in months so I am obviously thrilled.

Bad news. I’ve lowered the price and still can’t get anybody interested in the cafe; I will have to break the lease.  HEAVY HEAVY SIGH.

Tarot for Atheists, a couple of hundred words’ worth of progress.

Turkey soup is on the stove – I will adjust seasoning shortly and then start freezing it in containers. Jeff can’t stand the smell of the bones, and has no idea how this sentence would have ended if I hadn’t backspaced over it.

Replaced cpap machine with one that smells a little less disgusting.  I must make a purchase decision within 2 weeks.

Completed writing down a song, converted it to midi and fired it off to mOm.  I only have another hundred songs to write out.  It really IS the Song That Never Ends.

Herewith today’s linkorama:

Crowdsourcing Tolstoy. 

This guy and guys like him are why I make no further efforts to date.

Fighting sexism… using MATH.

My cat wants an escape pod.

If you rape a girl and leave her naked outside in freezing weather, and you work for your family’s restaurant, and your local prosecutor despite eyewitnesses and video refuses to prosecute, and then the whole town turns on the rape victim and burns her house down, well, the internet just might give bad reviews to your restaurant.

Little yawning kitties.



Eddie you old codger

Eddie is the senior cat in the household.  He’s 15 or 16, and while his back end is starting to be saggy, he’s a very sleek and healthy cat who simply despises Miss Margot…. or pretends to.

Last night Jeff and I were watching the thrilling conclusion of the 1st season of Veronica Mars when Eddie started to howl.

Normally he howls when he’s caught something and brought it back into the house or he howls from existential angst.  This time it was low, sad howls, and he didn’t want to move away from the cat door.

I looked at my brother and said in a horrified whisper, “Where is Margot?” Normally when we watch tv she’s parked at the top of the stairs or on the floor close to the tv.

The two of us leaped up and searched the house.  Jeff popped the front door and Margot bolted into the house from her hiding place under my car, where she’d obviously been trapped by another cat.

Which is how we learned that he has a special call when Margot is in trouble, because that’s how he was the last time he rescued Margot (she got locked in the garage). He got many skritches for his assistance, and Margot of course is impervious to correction or comment.