I am SO tired of the commute, I’ve decided to buy a car. Kat has one for sale and she said she would do the cv joint and the muffler for me if I buy the parts and I am very tempted. It is not a particularly useful car, being, like the MR2, a two seater. LTGW told me to buy a truck. This was in the same week he told me I was wearing sensible shoes. I ended up screaming “Want me to shave my head and start wearing overalls TOO” in the middle of the cafeteria, which certainly made Robof9 laugh.
Robof9 is leaving the Tiled Cell on the Hill later this month. I am just punched out about that too.
The lights over my desk give me a headache every day. My eyes are so tired by the time I go home I feel like I’m in a dissociative state.
The weather is cold and windy. I heard what sounded like ice pellets pinging off my window at 3 am this morning.
Anyway, now that I know I’m getting a car I feel very bad at the same time I am feeling better. It’s just that I can’t read, play games, watch video on my phone or do anything that doesn’t involve looking out the window to prevent motion sickness whenever I ride the bus. I can spend two and one half hours a day commuting, or half an hour driving. I’m 51 and I’ve only got so many hours left. Translink is not bad for my part of the world, and it’s not their fault that there’s a fucking lake in between me and work. I am tired of the asinine creature who takes up five seats on the bus with the rude way she occupies the front section. I’m tired of the men who smell like pee and spilled stuff and the women who smell like air freshener. I am tired of listening to phone conversations in a babel of languages; I am tired of hearing conversations that make me want to butt in and describe in detail the cognitive biases involved. I am tired of fucking rude bus drivers (I’ve seen some good ones, but a couple of events in the last month have left me gobsmacked with disappointment and too disheartened to even complain.) But I should commute because it’s better for the environment. It would be better for the environment if I jumped off a bridge, too, but that is not in the cards.
The house is shifting on its foundations with the wind.
I want rainbows and unicorns and world peace, and I’m getting dying cats, blue relatives and friends, (this item deleted), (this item deleted), (this item deleted too, sigh), and a bunch of other stuff I can’t complain about. Currently there are 18 items on the list; most of them I only wrote down so I could add one last item to the list & I FEEL REEAAALLY SHITTY about not being able to DO anything about the stuff that’s wrong. Oh yeah, Mr. Cheerful Pants, I should just work on the stuff I CAN fix. It’s all about reframing things. Well how about I reframe this by breaking it over your head, how’s that work for you?
The only good thing that happened this week is that Mike showed the pictures he took of Rozo in the woods – nude. Unbelievable. All that hair, and her standing on a tree stump in Robert Burnaby Park looking like something shot out of a New Raphaelite wet dream. There was one particular pic, her figleafed with hair, that I want to carry around with me in my wallet so I have something pleasant to look at when things really fuck up.
That’s not true, there was one other thing that happened this week. I found a website with erotic photos and art that actually has about one in ten pics that I like. I guess it’s yet another sign that I overshare that my first impulse was to email a couple of links to my daughter. That’s not funny, it’s sick.
Jeff cheered me up by loaning the car to me yesterday – he stayed home with Gizmo. I went and got treats after work to cheer us both up.
Now I’m going to do a Tarot reading. The day can get worse any way it likes.
