Lyrics Zero G (edited July 2012)

Soup lunch went okay, but the really exciting news was the very tasty guitar stylings Paul threw on top of the new choon.

Zero-G (The Bed)

I’ve invented a bed, though no patent’s been applied for
and it’s the kind of bed (hint hint) … that is to die for
If there’s one thing that I know about our human race
it’s that we’re going to be having lots of sex in outer space

Chorus:

& I’ll love someone, love someone, love someone
who knows what to do in zero G
& I’ll love someone, love someone, love someone
who knows how to handle zero G
(and I know it’s microgravity!)

I believe that the design of my bed will prove out best
And I’m gonna need a quarter mil to put it to the test
and another quarter mil to launch a buddy for the trial
but I think you’ll need a crowbar if you want to lose my smile

Chorus

I’ve designed my bed for two but in a pinch it will hold three
for you never know when someone’s going to think creatively
or be needing to accommodate some polyamory
I can’t predict its uses and that’s half the fun you see

Chorus

So picture (if you will)…  a tube of comfy fiber
now I have to bring more detail if  I am to describe her
There have to be attachment points …two fore and two aft
I’m hoping you can picture this and I’m not going daft
there are 4 more in the middle to take care of Newton’s laws
for they anchor you and dampen out the bounce on roll and yaw
If you’re entertaining fantasies of being overpowered
You can weigh three hundred pounds and get tossed ’round just like a flower

Spoken:  This is an important safety announcement from the Lo-Orbit No-Tell Motel.  Despite what you may have heard about Zero G sex, you must still take the mass of every object you move into consideration or injury or death may result.  Thank you.

Chorus

There are bungees wrapped around the bed to keep you pressed together
and if you lose traction ankle straps are optional as tethers
If there’s too much bounce and wiggle the bed just self corrects
and it will work for anybody’s preference and sex

Chorus

Apogee Perigee Zero-g to fade

 

Published by

Allegra

Born when atmospheric carbon was 316 PPM. Settled on MST country since 1997. Parent, grandparent.

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